Things I Saw This Morning That Pissed Me Off

1.  2012 "Celebrity Apprentice."  No, no, no!  I saw the list of "celebrities" today for the new Apprentice.  Are you fucking kidding me, Donald?  Half of these people haven't been "celebrities" since 1987 and the other half are a mix of D-List reality "stars," mobsters and Donald publicity plants (I'm talking about you, Miss Universe).

Don't get me wrong, being a Joisey girl myself I have to say, I love to watch a good table flip or mob hit. So I'll be watching when Teresa Giudice flips the board room table on her way out the door or when Victoria Gotti shivs Cheryl Tiegs for the win.  My only complaint is, you can't call these people "celebrities."

Maybe it's time to retire this franchise.  Obviously, they couldn't get anyone "good" on here.  Unless they're ready to call it "Has Beens, Wanna Bes & Psychos Apprentice" this should be the last season.

2.  Casey Anthony's video blog.  Just seeing that bitch's face makes my blood boil.  Have you seen her video?  Here it is.  (Don't click the link if you don't want to give her any more play.)  She blathers a lot about how "surreal" her life is right now.  Is it "surreal" because her kid is dead or because she got away with murder?  She mentions she's adopted a dog - who the fuck let that woman have a dog?  Don't they know what she did to her kid?  She shouldn't be allowed to have a goldfish.  She also talks about someone who has paid for her phone and a camera she received as a gift.  I've said this before and I'll say it again:  Anyone who sends this woman money, gifts, etc. should be shot.

I think the most irritating and disturbing thing about this video is her behavior.  She acts like a fucking victim.  She's totally playing it.  "I'm excited I can Skype."  ("I'm excited I can show losers my tits.")  "Now I have someone I can talk to."  ("Call me, losers and I'll show you my tits.")  "I hope that things stay good and they only get better," she says wistfully.  Wow, she's such a pathetic actor.  My five year old does a better job looking wistful.  (I think that's code for "I'm ready to pose in "Playboy" when I'm done here.")  "I hate being on camera."  BULLSHIT.  I don't believe that for a second.  

That woman is textbook sociopath and watching her gave me the chills.

3.  Demi Moore is not always happy with her looks.  On one hand, this is a real problem and I think I feel sorry for her.  I'm trying to do better with beautiful women with low self-esteem, but I just want to shake them.  It's just that I really can't imagine looking like Demi Moore and having self esteem issues.  I want to scream, "YOU'RE DEMI MOORE!!!  YOU'RE ALMOST 50 YEARS OLD AND YOU'RE HOTTER NOW THAN MOST OF US HAVE EVER BEEN IN OUR ENTIRE LIVES!"

My question is:  Does she really suffer from bouts of low self-esteem OR is she just trying to relate to her  "ordinary" fans so we won't hate her and we'll buy magazines with photo spreads of her looking fabulous?

Nothing drives me battier than beautiful women who try to say they have bad hair days too.  My whole life I've had a bad hair day.

Demi says she feels like her "body is betraying" her.  She's pushing 50, of course her body is betraying her.  It's called aging.

4.  A Kardashian Magazine.  It's a sign of the Apocalypse for sure.  No, I think a sign of the Apocalypse would be if the Kardashians could stay out of the press for 24 hours - what a bunch of media whores.

5.  The guy who got naked at "Alvin and the Chipmunks."  Here I was upset about a little bad language and ruining the Easter Bunny.  Ha!  It seems that it could have been worse.  This guy (nice teeth) got naked during the "Alvin" movie for the promise of crack and sex.

7.  $650 strollers that are being recalled.  If I paid $650 for a stroller, it better change diapers, read a story to my kid and drive itself.

Instead, the front wheel sometimes locks and causes the stroller to tip over.  WTF?  You'd think they  might check that before they sell them to people with babies.

8.  Elin Nordegren leveled a $12 million house.  WTF?  She just bought the house and then leveled it.  Essentially, she paid $12 million dollars for a LOT.  Did I miss something?  Was Tiger in the house when she bulldozed it?



75 comments:

Because nobody likes Mondays said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Because nobody likes Mondays said...

I think Demi is just trying to get some attention after the split with Ashton. He is getting all the attention and she gets nothing. She has looks and money, what the hell does she have to be depressed about? Let her come live one day of life, then she can complain.

Lynne said...

Casey Anthony makes me ill, seriously. In the whole video, she doesn't mention missing her kid once. Nothing...she is just happy that she has some "things" she can call her own. Really? Ugh. You could have had your kid who would have been yours & guess what, you could have talked to her and, heaven forbid, she could have loved you. Asshole.

MayBeth said...

Amen to everything on the list! I do have a theory about Demi...She does have self esteem issues that she completely created by marrying a young pretty boy who was probably more compatible with her oldest child. She should have been flattered that the baby boy was crushing on her but left it at that, and stayed her ass with that old sexy bald beast, Bruce Willis!

Anonymous said...

What about the teacher in IL who made a kid with a concussion and a broken leg crawl back into school and then didn't call an ambulance or even the school effing nurse?! BTW you are freak'n hilarious. The blog brightens up my day and finally gives me someone I can relate to besides all those damn "fell-good" mom blogs out there. Rock on.

Our Little Lovie said...

First of all....teeheehee :) Second of all, I REFUSE to watch that Casey Anthony bullshit video. I will not watch it, not now, not ever. I have absolutely no interest in anything that waste of life has to say.

TempusFam said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Michelle S. said...

Ha Ha. The Kardashians are media whores. I would also like a punch to Ann Curry. Who did spots on the Today Show for two days in a row of Casey Anthony and ended today saying "let's not give her anymore time on tv". until tomorrow?

Unknown said...

Hehehe. Yes. And no, I won't be watching the Casey Anthony video any more than I'd buy a serial killer's novel. Blech.

@TempusFam: It's called peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat... what were you expecting?

Anonymous said...

LOL @ the Tiger Woods comment - made my morning!

Robyn Maher said...

I agree with all of your opinions today like I do everyday! I am in especially pissed off mood today and i could certainly make my own list of people I'd like to punch in the throat today. Thank you for making my day brighter! =)

Erin said...

I watched the Casey Anthony video yesterday and it meade me sick. I agree with you completely...anyone who 1. lets her have an animal and 2. Buys her anything needs to be shot. WTF is wrong with this freaking world?!? I can only pray that Karma kicks in soon for her. Stupid bitch!

Mom on the Edge said...

Great last line!

Beth said...

I just have to say that I absolutely love your blog, I read it all the time. Because you are basically saying what I feel LOL...I absolutely HATE that baby killer and I hope one day KARMA bites her in the A$$...I did watch the video (why I have no clue but I think it is like a car wreck that you just can't look away but you want too)! But on another note, keep doing what you do because it makes me laugh on a daily basis!

SheilaJones said...

No way in the world I would pay $650 for something that was going to get puked on and thrown in the trunk of the car. Sometimes I think companies severely overprice stuff to how dumb people are. :) Your note about the Kardashian's is spot ON! :)

Anonymous said...

I wanted to point something out....People were up in arms about Casey Anthony saying they would never watch or read anything about her or what she was in. Her posting a video and the publicity it has received shows that people have some sort of curiosity, albeit morbid, that will translate into her making money in some capacity. I didn't say it was right, just pointing that out. If people were as adamant about not supporting her in any fashion as they claim, the video would not have gotten the coverage it did.

Little Disclaimer: I think she should be in jail. This is just an observation I had since she posted the video...

Anonymous said...

I would not direct anyone to the Casey Anthony video. I refuse to watch it. I hate to think that this thing will get a million hits and somehow she will start getting paid by advertisers because people choose to watch this crap.

Other than that I concur with all your punches.

Cordelia said...

I think they should take your name for the show, "Has Beens, Wanna Bes & Psychos Apprentice". HAHAHA!

jschro said...

I normally agree whole heartedly with all the throat punches... well, except, I don't have kids so have to take those with a grain of salt... but... George Takei is on celebrity apprentice! George Takei! I wasn't even ALIVE for the original star trek and he's still my hero. He could be up against a bunch of turds (which, from what I can tell, he is) and he would still redeem the show. Well, I'm still not going to watch it. But... but... George Takei!

Diana said...

Two things that will survive an apocalypse are cockroaches and the damn Kardashians. Your posts are a hoot and totally make my day!

kristincita said...

I vowed not to encourage or contribute to any money making exposure of casey SAnthony so i will not watch the video or any made-for-TV movie or anything else relating to her. I am also ridding myself of the Kardashians in 2021. Turns out i just don't have 4 hours a week to keep up with them all. (Best thing Chelsea Handler ever said was to call them the "Kar-trash-ians".

Sue said...

I wanted to punch myself in the throat just for the fact that I even watched her video. On a lighter note, if someone had to get naked and creepy at a movie, I'm glad it was Alvin and the Chipmunks. I used to work at a florist where the Chipmunks would play in an endless loop at the holidays and by the 1000th time of listening to them sing "The Christmas Song", had they been real, I would have gone after them with a machete (which would have been odd, since they'd probably be pretty small).

bugs5697 said...

I love each and every one of these...but I will not give Casey ant more 'hits'...unless it's one to the throat .

Anonymous said...

I knew I liked you for a reason- besides being so funny and saying it like it is. Im from Jersey too.

Anyway- you are spot on with this one.

Rachel said...

Too bad Casey Anthony wasn't in Elin's house when she bulldozed it...
LOVE your blog! Keep it up!

Anonymous said...

I'd like to watch the Casey Anthony video out of curiosity, but I'm afraid if she gets a bunch of hits on her video, eventually, she'll make money off of it or future videos. Loved the Tiger Woods jab!

Karyn C said...

I'm so proud of being from Chicago...we have some real winners! I also think all the parents that were still in the theater and had to be evacuated by the police need a punch in the throat! I would have left if that had happened while my kid was there. WTH! Why were they still sitting there?

Not Supermom said...

Can we *please* add all of the Republican Presidential candidates to this list? I'd like that.

Mloch said...

Yes to all of the above. Tell it, sista.

Melissa said...

Casey Anthony is, to use a popular phrase from the 90's, a BUTTERFACE. Her tits might be decent BUT HER FACE?! Uck! Love your blog!!

Anonymous said...

Love that someone isn't afraid to say what most people are thinking! Wish I had thought of it first. Keep up the truth blog.
Sorry but I can not bring myself to watch or read anything about casey anthony. She and the kartrashians can go out on a deserted island and fight for survival (now that I would watch!)

Anonymous said...

Punch this lady in the throat. NOBODY'S life is this perfecthttp://studerteam.blogspot.com/2011/11/25-rules-for-mothers-of-sons.html..

Anonymous said...

Completely 100% agree with the Casey Anthony shit. She's a real piece of work. I wouldn't give her video a damn view, I refuse. I watched what they showed on the news and that's it. Eff her.

Mari said...

OMG!! And I don't say OMG, but that was HILARIOUS! I almost peed my pants and spit coffee out. Thank you for starting my day off right!

pam b456 said...

Ha! I posted a link to that Alvin and the Chipmunks guy on my Facebook. I took my kids to see that terrible, awful movie, and I could have used some entertainment during it! Seriously, I can't even imagine trying to explain that situation to my kids, in addition to actually seeing his private parts running wild...

Anonymous said...

Beautiful reflections this morning! And, BTW, even 'feel good moms' want to punch people in the throat sometimes :) LOVE this blog -- often my start to a great day!

Bookgal said...

I refuse, REFUSE to watch, buy, or do anything that has to do with Casey Anthony. I want to get to the point when if I even think about her in conversation I have to say "You know the phycho bitch that got away with killing her kid, and then played innocent. Whats her face..."

Anonymous said...

The anger directed towards Casey Anthony just baffles me, both in your post and in the comments. Sure, she seemed like an awful mother, but can any of you prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that she killed her kid? The answer is no, of course. None of you know the evidence that was or was not presented, none of you were there. Our court system found her innocent (whether that's true or not is irrelevant) you all should really check your hatred at the door. None of you even know her. For me, I'd have to say I don't give a crap about her. I don't like her, I don't hate her, I don't know her. None of you do either. You don't know what went on (you can speculate, sure) but stop casting stones. All your hatred of this girl is worse than her pathetic video.

Kristen said...

I loved this post! I agree with everything except for the Kardashians. I mean, I know they are media whores and none of them have any real talent but I love to watch their show. My husband even watches it with me..but I think that's just so he can look at me and ask "are they really that stupid" and I reply with a "yes". The show gives me a laugh so I give props for that. Great blog Jen! Keep it up*

Eddie said...

I definitely vote to rename Apprentice to your suggestion. Let's start a petition and send it in. I bet Danny Bonaducci would be all over it.

Anonymous said...

Demi Moore needs to cut her hair and get rid of those horrible too big for her mouth veneers. She has a hardened look to her. I think she does look old. She should have never left Idaho.

EricaM said...

Amazing as always! Also, the fact that Casey Anthony is using the press that she got from her daughter's MURDER TRAIL as an excuse for more time in the spotlight might not make her guilty( though I'm 110% sure she is) but it does make it even more obvious that she is a soulless person. Period. Most mothers would leave the media and hide with the pain and try to move on. Or if they stayed in the media, try to use the attention to bring awareness to some sort of cause ( child abuse, etc), but not that woman. I don't even like calling her a Mother...

mosthighqueen said...

I agree with it all, Jen. I love how you give voice to so many things that I'm thinking! But there was one thing I had a problem with. Ever since I saw it on the news, I have refused to watch Casey Anthony's video blog. The massive number of hits she gets will only encourage more of the same, and I refuse to be a part of it. I wish you would encourage your readers to NOT watch it, instead of linking it to make it easier for them to watch it. She doesn't deserve our attention. And I just have to add...who would do a video blog if they hated being on camera???

Wendy said...

Interesting that Casey Anthony never once mentioned her dead daughter - she is happy things are getting better. What? Do things ever get better when you've lost a child? Oh, maybe they do when you're the one that murdered your daughter (Life if good, right?!?!!). What a pitiful, disgusting video. Does she really think people are feeling sorry for her? Ugh. Makes me sick.

I loved #12!! LOL -

Anonymous said...

I kinda believe Demi Moore has low self esteem issues. She's had a metric shit ton of work done to look like she does now. Have you seen what she looked like as a kid? Think of her daughter (the one with the massive jaw) mixed with a very lazy eye. Sure she looks good now, but maybe she's never gotten over being an ugly duckling.

Anonymous said...

OMG! I absolutely LOVE your blog! It makes my day every time I read it!

ButteryMuffyn said...

Totally agree with everything, but laughed most at someones comment about "feel-good" mums wanting to punch people in the throat - doesn't that go against everything you preach? Oh wait, you must be the mums from the great passive-aggressive capital of the world Seattle, where I am :)

Unknown said...

i agree about demi - do you REALLY struggle - or are you just doing PR? That's what I don't like about hollywood. I never know if it's true. Also, when women say they lose weight by picking up their babies. that's ALL you do... no no.. that is not. Ahem, Giselle.

Anonymous said...

I think that a great Celebrity Aprentice show would be the Kardashians ( minus the Mom )vs the Jersey Shore - Oh the Drama !

Unknown said...

i totally agree with everything that pissed you off as for the video i haven't watched it or will i mention that bitches name she just wants more attention won't get it from me will pass your blog along i think its worth the read

Anonymous said...

I agree completely with you on ALL counts in today's blog !! I worry for both of us somedays. I felt exactly the same about Dancing with the Stars....last season should have been called...Dancing with people that MIGHT know a Star. When you get that far down on the "who the hell are they?" list ...it is time to call it quits for the show.

Casey Anthony there is a name I hope to never hear again..she has more that out lived her 15 minutes of fame. BE GONE!

Demi Moore....low self esteem?? really?? aww poor thing.. NOT!

That's it for me.... my blood is perculating just thinking about some of this stuff

Unknown said...

Ha. 'When she shivs Cheryl Tiegs for the win.' Nice.

Casey Anthony is getting exactly what she wanted, airtime. She's a media whore, maybe she's a long lost Kardashian.

Molly said...

Your blog, once again. Amazing. Love it.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for summarizing my thoughts on the week thus far!

suzzsuki said...

Someone needs to punch that british "Barbie" in the throat for giving her 7 yr old daughter a voucher for plastic surgery.

MommaVino said...

http://www.coolshityoucanbuy.com/2011/05/people-i-want-to-punch-in-face.html

I know, it's not in the throat, but I saw this and thought of you.

Karen said...

The Spellings did the same thing in the 90's. Bought Bing Crosby's estate and leveled it. Which is a blasphemy in my book.

carly said...

Casey Anthony IS a sociopath. It's despicable what she got away with. I will never watch her video blog or read her book when she writes one. I can't believe that she is capitalizing on what she did to that sweet little girl. If I saw her I would punch her in the face. She is pure evil.

Bookbureader said...

Leveling the house pisses me off. Okay not really pissed off but she could have donated all that material to something like Habitat for Humanity! What a waste.

Marie said...

I absolutely LOVE your blog and while I faithfully read it i have never posted...till now..but everyone has a breaking point and mine was the anonymous poster who wrote "Our court system found her innocent" regarding Casey Anthony. First of all anyone baffled by the way she is being treated is obviously not the brightest bulb in the box. Secondly our court system does not find people "innocent". The verdicts are always "guilty" or "not guilty". Not guilty and innocent do not mean the same thing in the courts. Not guilty simply means that the jury could not convict beyond a reasonable doubt based on the evidence that was allowed to be presented in court. There are many reasons why pivotal evidence gets suppressed. There have been many cases where the "gut feeling" of a jury is "guilty" but they have been forced to acquit. Educate yourself and learn the difference.

Anonymous said...

I have not, nor will I watch that fucking idiots video. She is no kind of mother. To the person who said that we need to stop hating that bitch, whether she killed her daughter or not, she had a responsibility to care for her child. That goes for every mother. If they can't then they should give their child to someone who will!

Patrick S said...

Casey Anthony's video - 412 likes, 3,298 dislikes. there are 412 people that need to be shot and another 3298 that need to be punched in the throat for actually giving her video a stat.

Brigette said...

I love your blogs! We could be related cuz I think the same things! I agree with Marie. That woman may have been found not guilty but she is far from innocent. Anyone with common sense who paid attention to the entire case from when Caylee couldn't be found can see that she got rid of her daughter pure and simple. A mother who was concerned about her daughter wouldn't go partying or get a tattoo (unless it was something to do with said daughter). That woman took the life of her daughter, whether accidental or intentional and got away with it. Pure and simple. So, baffle on that Anonymous.

shetazaz said...

stellar post today! I agree with all of it, but as for Demi, there are every day people who are gorgeous, seem like they have everything and people envy them, yet they are so lonely or don't see themselves the way others do. Anyways - Casey Anthony - what a waate of human skin and breathable air! I see all these beautiful,loving moms who go missing all the time. She needs to go missing like that and we just won't waste any man hours or resources looking for her. She probably has some backalley porn contract. Hope her dog is a rabid pitbull that turns on her sorry ass. Put the Kardashians on Celeb Apprentice- whatever. Then they can backstab each other that way. And the Tiger comment was epic. Keep on punching!

shannon said...

off the subject but something to make you laugh. This is comparably funny to the doggie doo present. My daughters baby doll. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lndfEumB7E&feature=youtube_gdata_player

P.S. I totally agree with the whole Casey Anthony part. I get so angry when i think about her!!

Anonymous said...

I am so sick of seeing Casey Anthony's video on every news show and then picking it apart what she said and what it means. We all know she is a pyscho. Stop giving this bitch any attention! I totally agree with the other punches, although I am fascinated by the Kardashians but really a magazine? I think mama has gone too far on that.

janflora said...

Demi has always had issues with her self. She has been having plastic surgery since at least her 20s. If you watch 80s films like St Elmo's Fire and 'About Last Night' you will see a totally different woman. Any thing she hates about her body now is her own fault. Maybe her problems now are regrets?

kara said...

The Chipmunks story is messed up....but I couldn't help but laugh at the comments that people posted at the end of that article.
Love your blog by the way!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Ok no one is commenting on the recall stroller. (Although I definitely agree with all the other ridiculousness you pointed out today...I wish I had a $12 million house I could knock down for the hell of it). Anyway, I get that stuff comes up but like you said do they not test these things?!? This is one of my biggest pet peeves, especially when something is "new & improved". They get a bunch of asshats in suits who get paid a ton of money to make shit up you would think they would all want to see the finished product as an excuse to pat themselves on the back some more. One would think at that point at least one of them would try out the damn thing. (Not to mention for $650 a pop I think they can swing paying someone to work quality control.) This seriously drives me insane. I go through about 2 boxes of chicken broth for cooking every week and a while ago they changed it from a screw off top to a snap top with a little aluminum foil type pull tab. That fucking tab breaks off in my hand every damn time and I have to stab it with a knife. EVERY. DAMN. TIME. Am I stupid? It's a project for me every time and like an idiot I come back for more. I try to pull it hard, easy, fast slow. It's totally personal. When they thought this shit up didn't they get a finished products and didn't one of those boardroom assholes try to pull the damn tab off and break it. Did they just say fuck it and send them out. Shit like that just pisses me off.

Jackie said...

I know that this is from a few days ago but I want to add Beyonce and Jay-Z to the list. You seriously had to hold an entire floor of a hospital hostage? As well as making it extremely difficult for NICU parents to get to their babies! As a mother of a NICU graduate myself I think I would have went Mama Bear on their "Security Team". They definitely deserve a punch!

Anonymous said...

Elin's house was infested with termites and not near up to current hurricane codes. To renovate would have cost much more that to tear it down. She also delayed her plans for one month and allowed a local habitat for humanity to come in and take anything they could salvage and reuse.

Mom's Menagerie said...

This list, including your entire blog is the funniest stuff I have ever read! I hope you don't take offense to the stupid women on here who post negative comments, cause they really could and should read elsewhere. My only wish is that the celebrities themselves could read this stuff and realize just how much they suck (I hate celebrities btw). I too don't get idiotic parents. As a teacher and mom to two girls, I often see other parents that need a handbook. Not saying that I don't sometimes, but WOW...common sense sometimes is no-where in sight! Love this stuff, great work!

chelsea said...

Um, actually we do know what evidence was presented because the entire trial was televised. Why are you defending her? Are you "missing" a kid too?

RabidGlow said...

Anonymous, thank you for having some common sense!

Amy T said...

Unfortunately, Kaci Anthony is living about 45 minutes from me. I think I'll drive around Port St. Lucie looking for her and punch her in the throat for you and all of society.......PS, LOVE your stuff!

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