World's Worst Teacher

Photo: Jason Miles

It's the end of the school year and teachers across the country are handing out awards to their students. I actually always hated awards day, because I was a nervous wreck. I was afraid I wouldn't get one. I really wanted "Most Likely to Succeed" but I knew that only the cool kids would get those types of awards. But on the flip side I was also afraid I'd get one of the crap awards like "Most Improved" which we all knew was code for "You're Doing Better, But You're Still a Loser." Either way it was an awful day. Once or twice I had a teacher who tried to give everyone an award and that's how I ended up with certificates for "Kindest Eyes" and "Bookworm." And then there was the joker teacher. The one who tried to make the awards funny. And many times the teachers who thought they were being funny with their awards were just dicks.

NSFW! I Need an Education

If you're at work, stop right now. This is NSFW. Come back tonight when you're at home and no one is spying on you.

Earlier this week, my friend Suzanne from Toulouse and Tonic made some wine bottle memes. She asked me and some friends if we thought they were funny. Several of them were funny, but there was one in particular that I didn't get. I just figured it must be some kind of inside secret between Suzanne and her readers. But then. ALL of the other women she'd asked for opinions from started commenting: "OMG, the FUPA one is hilarious." "Love the FUPA one."

FUPA, FUPA, FUPA.

Gomer's Happy Mother's Day Post

Back in 2011, Gomer decided he'd like to guest post today.  Here is an (unedited) "vertical poem" he wrote for me for Mother's Day:

That's NOT a Bad Word?

My son, Gomer was looking up words in the dictionary. Every week for school he has to look up new words and write down the definitions. When he's done with his homework, he peruses the dictionary to find the definitions of new words he'd like to learn.

Now, we just had our parent teacher conference where his teacher told us what a bright and inquisitive child he is, so you would think that he would use that extra time with his dictionary to look up words like: