How Not to Stop the Flu Epidemic

I read today that a New York City youth soccer league is taking precautions to stop the spread of the flu virus that is raging through Manhattan. They are discouraging their elementary school aged players from giving high fives to one another for a good play or shaking hands with their opponents after a game.

I would rather catch the flu than touch this dollar bill. I don't think I can ever touch cash again.

We Can Do It!

Just last night we were talking about gender equality with our kids. (Because we do that when we're not singing the Diarrhea Song.) We were talking about what women get paid compared to men. Gomer announced, "Adolpha, when we're older I'll make more money than you, because I'm a boy."

My little feminist, Adolpha, was highly offended. "You will not! I will make as much money as you, Gomer!"

"Nope. Mom told me. Ladies make less than men even when they do the same job. It sucks, but that's the way it is."

I Need a Play Doh Penis Maker

You guys! Have you seen the Play Doh extruder tool that looks like a penis?

When I first saw the headlines for the story, I thought, How bad can it be? People are over reacting. It can't look that much like a penis.

Holy crap!! It looks just LIKE a penis.

via AdWeek
Actually, it looks more like a penis-shaped dildo. It has this raised band that wraps around the shaft (for her pleasure) and then beads around the tip. Sure, it's only three inches long, so there isn't much to ... uh ... work with, but STILL. I have dildos that look less dildo-y than this thing!

Overachieving Elf on the Shelf Mommies

By now we have all heard of the adorable little Elf on the Shelf . Almost everyone I know has one.  Some people even have two!  (Now I'...

Popular Posts