Me-Ternity Leave IS NOT the Same as Maternity Leave

This article came to my attention this week and at first I wanted to ignore it, because I'm SOOOOOOO tired of the fucking mommy wars. I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO tired of working moms vs. stay at home moms, breastfeeding vs. bottle, co-sleeping vs. crib, all of it. I'm at a point now where I don't care if you swaddle your baby or let him ride a tricycle without a helmet. I don't care if you feed him GMOs or only bathe him once a week. I don't care if you eat your placenta or chew up your baby's food and spit it into her mouth. (Actually, that's not true. That still kind of grosses me out if I think about it for too long, so if you do that, just keep that shit to yourself.)

Adolpha's Favorite Finger

I picked Adolpha up from school and I heard her ask from the backseat, "Hey Mom, do you have a favorite finger?"

"Ummm . . . no.  I don't think so," I replied as I navigated through the hell that is the elementary school pick up line.

"Really?" she asked surprised.  "'Cause I do."

I figured she'd tell me her favorite finger was her thumb, since she has been sucking it since she was in the womb.  (We've been trying to break her of this habit, so if you have any words of wisdom - don't hold back!)  "Is it your thumb?" I asked.

"No, silly!  A thumb isn't a finger.  It's a thumb!"


Plus Size Women Are People Too

Have you heard about the fight between Amy Schumer and Glamour Magazine? Basically, here it is: Glamour Magazine put out a very special edition (my emphasis) showcasing successful plus size women. They featured ladies like Adele and Melissa McCarthy and they also mentioned Amy Schumer and didn't give her a heads up that she was seated at the portly table.

Welllllll, Amy Schumer got irritated because she's a size 6 and should not be grouped with the ladies of size. She swears she's not pissed that Glamour thinks she's fat, she says she's pissed because she doesn't want her young female fans who have thighs that resemble hers to think THEY'RE plus size. Riiiiiight, Amy.

Amy Schumer is always preaching about how women should accept their bodies and own them, etc., so I don't think she can have it both ways. She can't get up on her pulpit and say, "There's nothing wrong with the size of Melissa's ass, but mine is NO WHERE near that size and should not be grouped with hers." That's some bullshit right there.

Responsibility Starts With Us

As you know, this year I've partnered with as one of their #TalkEarly bloggers.

This is the 25th anniversary of Twenty-five years. Whoa. That sounds like a long time doesn't it? To celebrate, they asked me to dig up a picture of myself from 25 years ago that I could share. My first thought was, "I need to call my mom, because I need baby pictures."

What?? I was an English major in college, not a math major. I'm not so good with numbers ... or aging.

So, here I am. Twenty-five years ago on The Great Wall of China trying to look casual and cool with a hint of mysterious-international-traveler thrown in. I still have the same haircut. It might be time to change my look. Nah, I'll wait another 25 years.

Overachieving Elf on the Shelf Mommies

By now we have all heard of the adorable little Elf on the Shelf . Almost everyone I know has one.  Some people even have two!  (Now I'...

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