Mom Gets Her Kid Kicked Out of School for Facebook Rant

Has your kids' school ever done something that just irks you? I bet they have. We've all been there, right? Do you complain to your friends and family a bit when something bothers you about school. I'm guessing you have. Did you ever take to Facebook and write a rant about the school? Maybe a few of you have. BUT, when you wrote that rant, did you tag the school? Yeah. Probably not. Because you know that if you tag a person or a page they will SEE what you wrote. Duh.

Out of the mouth of babes

Someone should have sent home a memo in the backpack of Ashley Habat's four-year-old telling her that. Oh wait. That's what started this whole mess.

The Idiot Parents of a Nine Year Old with a Machine Gun

WTF, America?

Let me see if I can follow this logic. We make laws to protect our children. They must be in carseats and seat belts. We bubble wrap every pointy surface in our home while they're learning to walk. We gate the staircases and we latch the cupboards. We buy bike helmets, elbow pads, wrist guards, knee pads, mouth guards, shin guards, life vests, floaties, and more. We can't leave them home alone or at the park or in the car for any period of time without being accused of abuse. We can't swear in front of them without someone calling the cops. We don't allow them to drive cars or vote until they're teenagers. We don't let alcohol touch their lips until they're young adults.

BUT we see nothing wrong with putting an UZI in the hands of a nine-year-old kid?????

Who thought this was a good idea? Someone did apparently.

Dating Naked Star is Mad Because We Saw Her Naked

I watch a lot of reality television. I have to . There's nothing else on anymore. What the hell happened to television? Now it's all a bunch of half naked women frolicking in a hot tub with some douchebag they hope will propose marriage to them based solely on their make out skills and bra size OR it's extreme cooking shows where contestants must prepare a ten-course meal over a cookstove in a gondola going to the top of a mountain using only four ingredients one of which is cow's bladder.

I pride myself on being choosy with my reality television watching, so it's no surprise that I've never seen VH-1's "Dating Naked." At first I wasn't sure what this show was about, but then I took a closer look at the title. Ohhhhhh. Yeah, it's pretty self explanatory. You really go on a date with a stranger and you're both naked. Sounds like a blast. What could possibly go wrong?

I Owe Benedict Cumberbatch an Apology

I owe Benedict Cumberbatch an apology. You see, before today, I just thought he was a good actor with a ridiculous mop of hair, chiseled cheekbones, and a silly name. Last night the Hubs and I finished watching the entire Sherlock Holmes series and I can't say that there was one time that my tummy fluttered or my heart beat faster when the camera closed in on that pasty face of his. I knew that the ladies of the web were agog over this man, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out why.

Until today.

You Can't Drop F-Bombs at the Grocery Store

I read a story that made me sit up and say "What the fuck?"

So, this lady went grocery shopping with her family and another shopper overheard the first lady say, "Stop squishing the fucking bread." Ms. Nosybody thought the woman was talking to her kids, but the woman says she was talking to her husband. Either way. What the fuck?

Ms. Nosybody confronted the shopper and said, "You just said the f-word" and then called the cops!!

That's right, the fucking bread squisher lady got arrested for swearing.

Whaaaaaa? 

Please return your fucking cart.

I Took the #Icebucketchallenge

Have you heard about the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge yet? No? Well, let me enlighten you.

Let's start with ALS. You know what that is, right? It's amyotrophic lateral sclerosis or Lou Gerhig's Disease, which is a debilitating progressive neurodegenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and the spinal cord. People with this illness eventually become paralyzed.

To bring more awareness and to raise money, the ALS Association is challenging people to dump a bucket of ice cold water over your head while you film it and then challenge your friends to do the same. The deal is if you take the hit and dump the water, you pledge to donate $10 to the ALS Association. If you wuss out, then you have to donate $100.

50 Shades of Grey - The PIWTPITT Review

STOP!  SOME OF YOU ARE UNDER 18 YEARS OLD.  DO NOT READ THIS POST.  (I KNOW, I KNOW, THAT ONLY MAKES YOU WANT TO READ IT MORE, BUT REALLY - STOP.)  THIS IS NOT FOR YOU.  GO READ YOUR SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE PLEASE AND TRY AGAIN HERE TOMORROW.  IF YOU STILL REALLY WANT TO READ THIS, THEN LET YOUR MOM READ IT FIRST AND LET HER DECIDE.  I CANNOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR SULLYING YOU.

ALSO, IF YOU HAVEN'T READ 50 SHADES OF GREY, GO BACK UNDER YOUR ROCK AND I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.  THERE ARE A TON OF SPOILERS HERE.

ONE MORE.  IF YOU ARE MY FATHER, DON'T READ THIS.  YOU WILL NOT GET IT AND THEN YOU WILL BE EMBARRASSED WHEN I SEE YOU THE NEXT TIME.

A Greeter at Wal-Mart Tried to Have My Husband Arrested

Last night a greeter at Wal-Mart tried to have the Hubs arrested for abducting Adolpha.

Yup. That really happened.

The four of us went to Wal-Mart last night. We had some things to buy. After filling our cart, Gomer and I said we'd wait on line to make the purchases and the Hubs and seven-year-old Adolpha went to get the car.

When we got in the car, the Hubs asked me, "Did that greeter at the door accuse you of stealing Gomer?"

"What?" I asked. "I didn't even see a greeter."

"She asked me if I was being stolen!" Adolpha exclaimed.

"What are you talking about?" Gomer said.

"OK, so we were leaving the store and the greeter said 'have a nice night' or something like that," the Hubs said. "I replied but Adolpha didn't. No big deal, right? The next thing I know, I'm getting her in the car and the greeter is there!"