2019 Christmas Wish List

It's the most wonderful time of the year! (If you like to shop, that is.) For the past few years I've made wish lists on the blog and this year is no different. I polled my friends and family to see what they're hoping to find wrapped and waiting for them and I've come up with a helpful list for you.

I also added a new category this year: some favorites from my Facebook group MIDLIFE BITES. The Midlife Bites group has their own Wish List this year based on what they're recommending and asking for.

I'll start with the hardest one in my house: Gomer. When you ask Gomer what he wants for Christmas, he always says, "Cash." But I hate to give cash, so I asked him, "If you received cash, what would you buy?" And here are some of the things he came up with.

Teen Boys

Champion joggers. It's a struggle to get the boy out of shorts, no matter the weather, so when he suggested sweatpants, I got excited.

Airpods. Hmm, I don't know. Looks like another way to tune me out.

What Do You Meme? game. A game? That we can play together?? Done and done.

Inflatable lounger. As long as I'm not the one blowing it up, I'll allow it.

Office stickers for his laptop. The boy and I are huge Office nerds, so I get it.

A television. He can now take a break from gaming and watching other people game so he can watch reality television?

A turntable and speakers. This one is interesting because we don't have any records in the house. I still have a huge collection of CDs, though. If the CD player comes back, I'm ready.

A charging station for iPhone, Airpods, and Apple Watch. The teenage boy version of a "juicer."

Nike socks. I made a mistake of buying another brand and it was rough around here.

Burrito blanket. Gomer can be cozy AND look delicious!

Gomer might be difficult to buy for because there isn't much on his list. Adolpha, on the other hand, wants EVERYTHING. Her list is always a mile long and I have to really push her to find out which items are the most important.

Teen Girls

Cake decorating set. Adolpha actually got this one for her birthday last week and it's already a hit. The quality isn't amazing, but for a beginner who is dabbling, it's perfect. She's already baking.

Animal Bites cable protectors. I don't understand these, but she's obsessed with them.

Giant bean bag. She received a normal size bean bag a few years ago, but now she wants an upgrade.

Llama blanket. This one checks off two boxes for her: cozy and llamas. She loves anything llama and literally can't enough blankets to wrap up in.

Crossbody bag. Now that she's older, she's going out without me and she no longer has me to carry her phone, her retainer case, a lip gloss, and her wallet.

Beats wireless headphones. I'm hoping she'll be bored with these within six months and I can inherit her cast-offs.

Nike socks. One kid will only wear black ones and one will only wear white ones. Makes laundry easy, I guess?

Hydroflask. Adolpha is all in on the VSCO girl thing and this is a vital part of their culture.

Waterproof stickers. You can't have a Hydroflask without stickers.

Reusable straws and bags. Hello, do you even care about the turtles??

Scrunchies. I think if you're a woman of a certain age, the appeal of these doesn't need to be explained. Even better, you can now buy them by the pound.

I've reached that age where I have everything I need and even most of the things I want. However, I'm always down for anything cozy, useful, and/or snarky.

Keyring bracelet. I'm always looking for a better way to keep track of my keys.

Doormat. I can never have too many sarcastic doormats. I change them with the seasons.

Velour tracksuit. I've recently re-discovered these beauties. My transformation into a Golden Girl is almost complete.

Winged eyeliner. When I actually put on pants and leave my house, makeup is a necessity. I love the look of winged eyeliner, but my hands aren't steady enough. The reviewers say these pens are magical.

Purse holder. Floors are gross. This handy little doodad keeps my purse off the disgusting floor.

Electric teapot. I drink a lot of tea. All day. Every day. Sure, I have a Keurig and even a regular old teapot, but this thing is kind of awesome. My mom has one and I'm a little envious of how fast she can get her tea ready. The Hubs will kill me if I bring another teapot into this house, but if one of the kids buys it for me, he can't say, no, right?

Tea Infuser. I hate pants, unless they're full of tea.

People I Want to Punch in the Throat. No, this isn't the book you're probably familiar with. This is a BLANK book where you can make your OWN list. A list of things to do, groceries to buy, or wrongs to right, it can all go in this compact little book.

The Hubs is all about the gadgets. He hasn't met a gadget he doesn't want.


Sony noise-canceling wireless headphones. If he gets a pair too, I'm definitely guaranteed someone's hand me downs!

Weighted blanket. The Hubs is a fitful sleeper and I've heard weighted blankets make a huge difference. Can't hurt, right?

Massage gun. The Hubs has reached that age where he wakes up in the morning with a stiff neck. Surely this can do the trick!

Insulated YETI coffee mug. We all know I'll steal this within the first few weeks.

Coffee/phone holder. OK, this thing is kind of awesome. The Hubs has been traveling a lot this year and I thought this was a cool attachment for his carry on. You put this on your carry on and it can hold your phone and a cup of coffee. Genius, right? (Full disclosure, I will also probably steal it.)

Car phone holder. This thing fits in the cupholder of your car and holds your cell phone. I won't steal this one, I ordered two and I'll wrap one up for me and pretend to be surprised.

Portable steamer. Neither of us likes to iron and years ago I gave up buying anything requiring ironing. The Hubs did not, so he needs this hot little number.

Telescoping ladder. I told you the Hubs likes gadgets. He can't have a "normal" ladder, he needs a go-go-Gadget ladder and this one fits the bill. It can adjust and lock into multiple heights and then fold up and store away easily.

A few months ago, I started a Facebook group for the ladies in the throes of midlife. When we're not suffering from hot flashes, we like to shop. These are some of their favorite things.

Midlife Bites

Insulated sassy wine glass. Can you be for 40-plus and NOT own a sassy wine glass?

Paper planner. These days we forget everything, so we need a calendar on our phone as well as a paper planner on the desk. Plus, stickers!

Finishing Touch hair remover. We're losing hair on our heads and it's popping up everywhere else: eyebrows, chins, upper lips.

Lash serum. I might have crow's feet, but my lashes will look fabulous!

Bamboo jammies. We're hot!

Cozy wrap. We're cold!

Flexible ice pack. If we're not sweating or plucking rogue hairs, we're asking, "What the hell hurts now?" These ice packs are ah-may-zing for those aching wrists, elbows, and knees.

Inflatable hot tub. What every grown-ass woman living her best life needs.

Snarky Gen X t-shirt. It pairs well with your sassy wine glass.

Period panties. Yeah, they're not sexy. If you want sexy, come back next week.

The Satisfyer. I told you next week would be sexy.

Maxi dress. Flattering and it has pockets!

Wrap bracelet. Pairs nicely with the maxi dress or the pjs, your choice.

And, last but not least, a signed book always makes a great gift for everyone on your list. Get yours here: https://forms.gle/UQnWZji5WUfuXvVv8

Leave me a comment and let me know what's on YOUR list this year!

Happy shopping!

P.S. All the links I've included are affiliate links.

A Real Christmas Miracle!

Just a few of the elves who made this magic happen!

On Halloween night, my mom took her dog out for a walk before bedtime. It was dark and she was in a hurry to get back home so she could start decorating for Christmas. (If you're a little shocked by that last bit, it must be because you've never read Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat. If you'd read that book, then you'd know that my mom begins the arduous task of decorating for Christmas the moment she says goodbye to her last trick-or-treater.) Anyway, she was already dreaming of unpacking her hundreds of bins of decorations and greeting each Santa and snowman like family. My dad was out of town and she had big plans to stay up late into the night, blasting Christmas music and covering every surface with garland, lights, tinsel, or all of the above.

Pre-Lit Christmas Trees Can Suck It

Don't look too close, there are some dead bulb in there.


Who has a pre-lit Christmas tree?  Who invented this instrument of supposedly cheerful holiday torture?  I know the idea sounds good, but in practice, I am not so sure.  Now, before anyone gets upset, I am not saying that ALL pre-lit trees are bad.  Just the ones that suck monkey balls like the one I happen to have.

We have a 9 ft pre-lit Christmas tree with about 3,000 light bulbs on it.  Ours is huge, massive, and heavy as hell, with more wires and lights than an airport runway in a major city.  It's a nice looking tree.  It was VERY nice to have a huge tree that we didn't have to string lights on.  You plug in all the strands, turn them all on and enjoy your Christmas.  Yeah, that happened only the FIRST year we owned that tree.  Ever since that honeymoon Christmas, it has never been the same around here.  Nope, now it is an annoying, tedious, and mind numbing battle in search of the dreaded dead bulb.  Our tree is seven years old now and once one bulb goes out, the entire strand goes out.  So, you need to find the dead bulb.  With over 3,000 light bulbs on a tree, that is a lot to go through.  

My Rules for MOMS at Playdates

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Keep in mind, these are rules for the moms on the periphery of my children's social scene. There are many moms who I am close to and whose children play with mine very often (I'm looking at you Sandy, Sherry, Mary, Jamie, Misty, etc.).  We don't need rules, because we're all normal with one another.  I do not want these mothers to think these rules are for them, because they are not.  

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