Things I Saw This Morning That Pissed Me Off

1.  2012 "Celebrity Apprentice."  No, no, no!  I saw the list of "celebrities" today for the new Apprentice.  Are you fucking kidding me, Donald?  Half of these people haven't been "celebrities" since 1987 and the other half are a mix of D-List reality "stars," mobsters and Donald publicity plants (I'm talking about you, Miss Universe).

Don't get me wrong, being a Joisey girl myself I have to say, I love to watch a good table flip or mob hit. So I'll be watching when Teresa Giudice flips the board room table on her way out the door or when Victoria Gotti shivs Cheryl Tiegs for the win.  My only complaint is, you can't call these people "celebrities."

Maybe it's time to retire this franchise.  Obviously, they couldn't get anyone "good" on here.  Unless they're ready to call it "Has Beens, Wanna Bes & Psychos Apprentice" this should be the last season.

2.  Casey Anthony's video blog.  Just seeing that bitch's face makes my blood boil.  Have you seen her video?  Here it is.  (Don't click the link if you don't want to give her any more play.)  She blathers a lot about how "surreal" her life is right now.  Is it "surreal" because her kid is dead or because she got away with murder?  She mentions she's adopted a dog - who the fuck let that woman have a dog?  Don't they know what she did to her kid?  She shouldn't be allowed to have a goldfish.  She also talks about someone who has paid for her phone and a camera she received as a gift.  I've said this before and I'll say it again:  Anyone who sends this woman money, gifts, etc. should be shot.

I think the most irritating and disturbing thing about this video is her behavior.  She acts like a fucking victim.  She's totally playing it.  "I'm excited I can Skype."  ("I'm excited I can show losers my tits.")  "Now I have someone I can talk to."  ("Call me, losers and I'll show you my tits.")  "I hope that things stay good and they only get better," she says wistfully.  Wow, she's such a pathetic actor.  My five year old does a better job looking wistful.  (I think that's code for "I'm ready to pose in "Playboy" when I'm done here.")  "I hate being on camera."  BULLSHIT.  I don't believe that for a second.  

That woman is textbook sociopath and watching her gave me the chills.

3.  Demi Moore is not always happy with her looks.  On one hand, this is a real problem and I think I feel sorry for her.  I'm trying to do better with beautiful women with low self-esteem, but I just want to shake them.  It's just that I really can't imagine looking like Demi Moore and having self esteem issues.  I want to scream, "YOU'RE DEMI MOORE!!!  YOU'RE ALMOST 50 YEARS OLD AND YOU'RE HOTTER NOW THAN MOST OF US HAVE EVER BEEN IN OUR ENTIRE LIVES!"

My question is:  Does she really suffer from bouts of low self-esteem OR is she just trying to relate to her  "ordinary" fans so we won't hate her and we'll buy magazines with photo spreads of her looking fabulous?

Nothing drives me battier than beautiful women who try to say they have bad hair days too.  My whole life I've had a bad hair day.

Demi says she feels like her "body is betraying" her.  She's pushing 50, of course her body is betraying her.  It's called aging.

4.  A Kardashian Magazine.  It's a sign of the Apocalypse for sure.  No, I think a sign of the Apocalypse would be if the Kardashians could stay out of the press for 24 hours - what a bunch of media whores.

5.  The guy who got naked at "Alvin and the Chipmunks."  Here I was upset about a little bad language and ruining the Easter Bunny.  Ha!  It seems that it could have been worse.  This guy (nice teeth) got naked during the "Alvin" movie for the promise of crack and sex.

7.  $650 strollers that are being recalled.  If I paid $650 for a stroller, it better change diapers, read a story to my kid and drive itself.

Instead, the front wheel sometimes locks and causes the stroller to tip over.  WTF?  You'd think they  might check that before they sell them to people with babies.

8.  Elin Nordegren leveled a $12 million house.  WTF?  She just bought the house and then leveled it.  Essentially, she paid $12 million dollars for a LOT.  Did I miss something?  Was Tiger in the house when she bulldozed it?