James Franklin

I got a lot of heat last month when I wrote about a Douchey Dad I encountered.  There was a lot of push back from men, especially, telling me to mind my own business and quit picking on these poor, hardworking guys.  I also heard from people asking me to better articulate what makes a dad douchey.  Well today I found one that I can show you.  This guy.  James Franklin.  He's the epitome of what pisses me off.

Want to work for me? Let me see your wife.

James Franklin is the head football coach at Vanderbilt University and he said in a radio interview Wednesday that he won't hire an assistant coach until he lays eyes on the guy's wife.

"I've been saying it for a long time, I will not hire an assistant coach until I've seen his wife. If she looks the part, and she's a D-I recruit (one of the nation's best-of-the-best), then you got a chance to get hired. That's part of the deal."

He wants to make sure his assistant coaches have hot wives.  OK, he didn't say "hot."  But he did say the wives must "look the part."  Barf.

Are you fucking kidding me?  That is the most disgusting and pervy thing I've heard in a long time, not to mention just plain discriminatory and I'm guessing a tad illegal.

WTF is wrong with you, James?  I hope your (presumably hot) wife smacked you upside your head when you got home from that interview.

It's just another nauseating example of douchebags talking bullshit.  Either he really meant what he said and so that just makes him a dick.  Or he lied so he'd sound all fucking manly or something stupid like that and he's still a dick.  This guy just doesn't have a clue.

Let me tell you something about confident men with average looking wives, James.  These kinds of guys are real men.  They derive their confidence from within, not from the eye candy on their arm.  They don't need some nipped and tucked and inflated Barbie doll to parade around to make them feel like a man.  They don't have to look around a room and reassure themselves that they've got the hottest ticket there.

I know, because I live with one of these guys.  The Hubs is one of the most confident men you'll ever meet and I do not "look the part."  He is an excellent salesman and won't take no for an answer from anyone.  He's so confident, in fact, that at times it borders on arrogant with a dash of narcissism and I actually have to rein him in.  He married me because I'm fucking hilarious and fun to be around.  He married me because he knows that my looks will go, so he'd better like who I am more than what I look like.  He married me because he didn't need a flashy, gorgeous woman to make him feel like a man.

You're an idiot, James and I can't even believe you think that, let alone say that out loud.  It makes sense, I guess since your team sucks balls.  No wonder they do - you can't expect to get a decent coaching staff if you advertise the fact that you want to ogle their wives before you hire them.  Do you want to take them for a test ride too and make sure they're they "total package"?

Update: James has since apologized for his comments.  I still think he is a douche.

What do you think? Who else should win the world's biggest douche award? Join in the conversation.
http://www.peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.com/p/community.html#/1508371/forum/162935/worlds-biggest-douche.html

48 comments:

AKA Jane Random said...

If he had said he wanted to meet their wives to ascertain what kind of husbands they were then I would understand. But to say what he said? How can a D1 coach be so stupid and irresponsible? You have to know you are under scrutiny 24-7 and that everything will be (and should be - that's a lot of money you're making) used against you.

K said...

He's a Megadouch BUT I like being an eye candy wife to an average looking guy... :)

Carolyn B said...

He said he got this thinking from a movie, Moneyball. It was a modestly funny line in a movie, aprapos to a very specific scene, not a real life documentary on how to scout recruits. What a moron. He clearly doesn't understand the difference between the stupid thoughts that might pop in one's head and the thoughts one should say out loud, especially to the media.

shermanmomma said...

Amen! He is such a tool

Anonymous said...

I am a wife of a head college football coach...at a lower division, but a coach, who hopes to go D1 someday. If this is the criteria for being hired, then we are in...yes! Ha. Just. Kidding. I'm don't think I'm a slouch, but I'm certainly no Gisele either, and I certainly don't "look the part." And who the heck is looking at an assistant coach's wife anyway, when do you ever see an assistant coach get interviewed on TV/paper/etc with his wife? You don't...they are by themselves either telling the media what they did to win the game or why they lost it...and their wives are no where in sight. The only time you see an assistant coach's wife is when one of these over confident, arrogant head coaches slip up and get caught doinking the assistant coaches wife and then you see her picture on the internet, so I suppose "looking the part" would be beneficial then, who wants to be caught doinking a slouch right (insert twang of sarcasm here).

FYI, even if I "looked the part"...my husband would never parade me in front of a head coach just to get a job. And in reality...most head coaches hire on the quality of experience, the character of the man and whether they have the kind of confidence/attitude that is beneficial to the team. This kind of attitude trickles down and it's honestly no wonder that Vanderbilt went 6W-7L. I am my husband's biggest supporter, but I certainly don't win games for him and isn't that what college football is all about ...the W's?!!!...btw, my husband's team went 9W-1L...and even though I was in the stands for every game...I'm pretty confident my level of hottness had zero to do with it!

Anonymous said...

Wow. I have no other words.

Anonymous said...

Hi, your blog really touches me, have been reading it for awhile... Just wanted you to know about a website i started ReadYourBiblesChurch.com... It's a place for Bible study guides.. I also put a forum in that can be viewed from a mobile device.. I couldn't find where to contact you privately so I'm commenting, hope that is okay. :) God Bless!
Jenn.

Sharon K said...

I totally agree - douche bag all the way but I have another nominee and I have actually been expecting you to write about this guy all week.....

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/highschool-prep-rally/father-arrested-child-abuse-whipping-stepson-during-game-155111369.html

Mandi said...

I'd like to know exactly what looking the part means, if you are judging me by my looks you are never going to know exactly what I'm about. I am not glamorous, I am not beautiful, I am however witty, fun to be around and one hell of a shot in Call of Duty, my entire front room is a "man cave" because I love football right along with my husband. I would be able to back my husband up as a assistant coach's wife but, if you want me to be beautiful, then we will move on to other team who only cares about our skills, not my looks. Sheesh...don't people know when you say shit..it gets around!

Melissa said...

Good luck! I hope your husband gets the Vanderbilt head coaching job! THAT would be awesome.



Oh, not only do I want your husband to get this guy's job, but I want the douche to find out about his firing in the newspaper. Ba ha ha haha!

Melissa said...

Really? You've read the blog?

Anonymous said...

HA! That's hilarious!
-- Shanna

Jenn said...

He is still a douche! In all likelihood, he only apologized b/c the University made him. Not b/c he meant it. I hope he doesn't have any daughters. They would surely grow up thinking that their self worth is solely based upon their looks. Thanks for helping to push us back to the dark ages, James! I'm sure your mother is proud.

Melissa said...

Growing up in a pro football town and living in a neighborhood where a large portion of the coaching staff lived, I have to say that this guy is even a bigger douche than you think he is!

The pro football coach's wives I knew were normal, down to earth, and didn't "look the part". They looked like age appropriate wives to their husbands. Sure, there were one or two that were flashy and snooty. There is in every group, right? However, the large majority were normal people who were too busy taking care of their children and keeping the household running while their husbands worked crazy hours 7 days a week to be bothered 'looking the part'.

Anonymous said...

what a douche bag, they should fire him just for that alone.

RachRiot said...

Well, Mr. Franklin, even though I *am* smokin' hot, I don't think my husband will accept the position-- because you look like the face-pubed love-child of PittBull and Howie Mandell. THANKS BUT NO THANKS.

Carol said...

Reading the comments in the "apology"...there are now some additional people I would like to add to the list of those-who-need-a-punch.

Amanda said...

And be told he was being fired because he didn't, "look the part."

paula48183 said...

LOL....Pittbull/mandell.....made my morning

Ali said...

oh my god! i just watched that video, so disturbing!! this guy is more than a douche! He's worse than a pagent mom/dance mom combined. ugh, so disgusting.

Tesse said...

My middle school bio teacher was the wife of a pro football coach. She would definitely not meet this jerk's standards - but she was an amazing teacher who inspired hundreds of kids to, if not enjoy science, to at least appreciate it. And her husband fully supported her work, the school, and her students. Not all coaches are douches, but the ones that are seem to rise to the top of the media sites...

smartestblonde said...

I am less concerned with his comments (yes he's a major cocksucker but that's his right), and more concerned that he has a wife that chooses to marry and stay with this man...what the fuck does that say about her???

jjj said...

I am a cheer coach and I was told once - by a head coach- "if cheers and posters won the game, then I would be doing it instead of you." While mildly insulting, it is true and I think the same could be said for coaches wives -which I have also been for many years. If wives (and their looks) are what win and lose games... then they would be on the field coaching instead.
Also I would think that a head coach would want unmarried assistants...less pressure from home, more time to spend at work, etc.
This guy could be the head coach of the "douche canoe rowing team."

amber {and co.} said...

If you go on Vanderbilt's website you can see a picture of Franklin with his wife and two daughters under the link "coaches and staff". His wife isn't a troll but certainly not a supermodel- very average looking and not one who I would consider "looking the part" in the least. If I were his wife I would be pissed as hell!

Hillary said...

His wife looks pretty fucking average to me, but then again, his standards seem to be set to average since he agreed to coach a joke of a team. I am surprised anyone listens to him talk at all.

Sue said...

This just doesn't make sense from a practical perspective. If all of the assistant coaches' wives are hot, then this DB's whole staff is spending a good deal of their time obsessing over the fact their wives will leave them for hotter men. Wouldn't it be more logical for these guys to marry average women who will be so grateful for their manly attention that they will never stray? Then the coaches could spend more time thinking about football.

Oy.

js said...

Unfortunately this kind of thinking comes from a culture that believes women and their attractiveness is one more status symbol for a "real" man to have. If you have listened to any rap or hip hop music and seen any of the videos, you know that women are not equal to men in this culture. They are property and only valuable as long as they "look the part". Look at Hollywood and the movies in general and see how marriage is breaking down because it is not the person or the relationship that is to be committed to. It is shallow and selfish emotions that count and when someone no longer meets MY needs, then they are disposable. The fact that he compares having an attractive wife to meeting "kids" at high school tells me all I need to know and I feel sorry for his wife and children. God forbid she doesn't age well or has an accident leaving her scared.

Anonymous said...

@jjj...original replier here..."douche canoe rowing team"!!! LOL! love that.

I do agree with you though, most head coaches I know prefer to hire bachelors due to the demands placed on these guys for coaching, preparation, recruiting, etc. My husbands staff is all unmarried aside from him. He's not opposed to hiring married guys but generally speaking...at this level anyway...another huge factor is just the amount he can pay them. You can't support a family on what an assistant makes at this level...D1, different story in that category. So many misconceptions about the coaching world, I could go on and on BUT then this guy has to go and perpetuate the stereotype of the meathead football coach...

Linda in TX said...

Yes - he's still a douche. Probably has personal problems of his own. And will continue to earn more.

Mark Hoerrner said...

Keep calling out the douches. This man totally supports you. By the way, my wife is gorgeous, though I think I would say that if she had her face put through a woodchipper. She's incredible and the fact that she chooses to spend time with me at all is enough to make me love her forever.

Abby said...

I agree with one of the above readers: He should be fired, then told that it is because he doesn't look the part.

Christine said...

VERY favorite part of your post "He married me because I'm fucking hilarious..." Excellent post. :)

SMM said...

OMG I can't believe that he is a father of DAUGHTERS and he STILL said this bullshit. Unfuckingbelievable. What century are we living in?!?!?!?!

Anonymous said...

Reading about douchey dads makes me want to pray too

Anonymous said...

Oh good Lord! (no pun intended...well maybe just a little ;) I sniff a I-need-to-save-Jen intervention here. Take your bible totin self elsewhere.

Unknown said...

Without a doubt the BIGGEST bag o' douche! He has got to be the most arrogant jerk... Funny he has such stipulations on his coaching staff and is so blatant about it when his team can't even "play the part" or him for that matter as a coach.

Anonymous said...

He is a tool!

imbogus1 said...

Tell the truth, the Hubs married you because a real man can't resist the way a full figured woman fills out(or spills out of) a pair of overalls.I wonder if he also checks his assistants ball sac size?

The NotsoSuperMom said...

Hate to say this, but it could be worse: at least he didn't ask to see their little boys. He may very well be a Douche, but at least he's no Sandusky.

Jill's Frills said...

He did elaborate, which is not included in the punch, that it spoke for a man's confidence and ability to go for it. While I don't think it was an appropriate comment for him to make, I do think that he is a good man, and a good father and has done wonderful things for the program at Vanderbilt. He apologized, possibly after his wife popped him for saying it. Everyone makes mistakes, and if this is the only one he's on record for making, I can't get on board with his being stupid or a douche.

Anonymous said...

Douche Canoe - Paging Captain Douche Canoe!

Anonymous said...

The former football coach at our local university once said in an interview that his wife did a great job with his kids. Asshat.

Anonymous said...

First I want to make it very clear that I am not defending the guy... If he meant it as it sounded, then he is a douche. However, there is something to be said about the logic that may have gone into the statement. Someone's choice in a spouse says a hell of a lot about who they are... It is a scientific fact that the majority of women will become more physically attracted to a man if he has other positive attributes. For example, many women will rate an average looking guy as more attractive if he has a great personality, is successful, is funny, etc. The same doesn't always apply to men. Men typically compartmentalize a woman's appearance from her personality.

I am not being conceded but I am considered moderately "hot" by most standards. My husband is a coach and I can tell you that I do not look like the other coaches wives. Most of them are sporty and tomboyish. While I am a tee-shirt, jeans, and flip flops kind of girl, I am definitely more feminine than the rest. So if he meant "look the part" to be someone who is obviously a sports kind of girl, then I'm NOT it. I stick out like a sore thumb when I am with the other coaches wives.

Right or wrong, the first time my husband's players met me, they first made quite a few inappropriate comments to which my husband responded - hey, that's my wife you are talking about, stop that shit. But after the initial reaction, their positive assessment of my appearance caused them to view him differently. They had always respected and listened to him, but for whatever reason, the fact that they found me to be above average in attractiveness caused them to respect my husband more... Does it make sense? No. Is it "right"? No again, but it IS somehow part of the equation when it comes to how men view other men.

However, I venture to say that women judge other women based on their choice of a spouse in a similar manner, but it's not based on appearances as much as personality. For example, I know a lady who seems quite sweet, but from what she has told me, is married to a complete and total jackass. In fact, after the first several times she talked about him, I assumed they were divorced. When she said that she was still married to him (he's not abusive and it doesn't seem to be a case of battered woman's syndrome), I was shocked. The more I learn about him (and FWIW, she isn't complaining about him or angry with him in her descriptions, she actually seems to think it's perfectly normal) the more I question her as a person for the fact that she chose to marry him and then continues to stay married to him when she doesn't HAVE to for any reason (not dependent on him for anything)...

So while it came across as completely inappropriate and made him look like an asshat, there is some level of legitimate logic to the premise behind the statement.

Callie said...

Jenn you're not a stupid girl.. But lately you've come across differently. You built your blog appealing to others sense of humor, right? So some coach makes what is clearly a joke in reference to some shitty brads Pitt movie and of course you oppose so you've got something to write about. Frankly, I didn't realize how strong and subliminal the feminist undertones are in your (lately boring and obviously forced) writings are. It's clear you feel the pressure to keep up the facade, and have since taken to feeding your readers garbage pieces where you pick a hot topic and go on a girl power trip tring to spark some mundane debate. You're really reaching and your desperation is almost palpable.

Anonymous said...

I'm a Vandy fan, I live within a few miles of campus. I used to work on the football team support staff when they'd only win a single game all season. I love Vandy. I can't stand Coach Franklin. He just seems like such a creeper, but maybe that's just the Transitions glasses that are screaming Chester!"

Neurotic Atty said...

It is included in the Punch--follow the link. Sorry, but good men/fathers think BEFORE they speak, especially when they're speaking to a mass media outlet. And, by the way, it takes just as much confidence for a man to approach a less attractive, but intelligent or witty woman, yet he focused on physical appearance. He's a douche.

Hey Mon! said...

Callie,
You do know that this reply was from someone else named Jenn, right?

I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest you stop reading a blog that no one is forcing you to read and go find something that appeals to your sense of right and wrong. That might be more fun than reading boring and obviously forced posts that no one is making you read.

Tommy d said...

Everyone knows his playbook.....choke artist if I ever seen one.....we will never win a championship with this dumb shit at the helm

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