Really Bad Movies That I've Watched Lately

So the Hubs and I watch a lot of movies.  We have a movie room in our house and a library card, so we're CRAZEE with our movie watching.  Because we have so much access to free movies on a big screen we are not real picky about what we'll watch.  Lately it's been a problem.  We've watched a ton of terrible movies and I'm lamenting the hours of my life that I've lost watching these POSs.  So I've made a list so that hopefully I can stop other people from wasting their lives watching this crap.

Unstoppable - Runaway train, will Denzel save the day before a crappy town in PA blows up?  I really don't care.

The Next 3 Days - Wife's in jail for a crime she didn't commit.  Can hubby break her out?  I really don't care.

Dinner For Schmucks - NOT FUNNY.  Not even a little bit.

Salt - Angelina is a laughable spy.  Only positive thing I can say is she takes off her high heels to run so that makes THAT the only believable part in this movie.

Wall Street 2 - Money Never Sleeps - Slept through it.

The A Team - Bradley Cooper is hot, but even he couldn't save this movie.  Liam Neeson was bizarre.  Can't remember the plot at all.

Knight & Day - I don't know why I keep watching Tom Cruise movies.  Please remind me next time how much this tiny, little man sucks.  Cameron Diaz screams a lot.  Can't remember this plot either.

The Expendables - Sly needs to stop making movies, I'm embarrassed for him.  The Sperminator has a cameo.

The Prince of Persia - Jake Gyllenhaal looks weird with his spray tan and his accent is off-putting.  Can't remember the plot and since my kid wants the P of P Legos, I kept imagining everything as it's Lego counterpart.

The Social Network - I started Facebook!  No the Indian guy and the weird, rich twins did!  No, I did!  Snooze.  Who cares?  I can't believe these guys are actually fighting about this.  At the end of the day it was pretty obvious Zuckerberg created it; if the twins could have done it - THEY WOULD HAVE.  Trent Reznor did a good job with the music.  The dialogue is too quick and technical to follow - yeah, I'm that stupid.  I felt like I was watching the first season E.R. before every medical show talked in "medicine talk."

127 Hours - Rock falls on guy's arm, he cuts it off.  I don't know what I expected, but not this.  It reminded me of Castaway (one of my all time most despised films) with just the guy talking to himself and the camera the whole time.  I kind of felt like he was an idiot and shouldn't have been out hiking without telling anyone where he was.  I didn't have a lot of sympathy for him.

Love & Other Drugs - Beautiful girl is slowly dying, can asshole change?  Doesn't really matter because they're both boring as hell.  This is sad, because I think Jake Gyllenhaal is pretty darn hot (obviously, since I've watched two of his bad movies lately) but he's got to start picking better movies or our relationship will have to end.

4 comments:

BNM said...

lol i watched knight and day not too long ago and i fell asleep like 3 times throughout the movie I didnt get it.. i also fell asleep during 127 days.. haha obviously I wasn't missing much

Anonymous said...

I have no desire to see most of those movies, though I will say that I saw Social Network. I'm still trying to understand exactly what made this movie "groundbreaking." Something like The Matrix or Avatar that introduces a new way to film something could be considered groundbreaking, at least to an extent. But a movie about the guys who created Facebook? Yeah, not so much. Kind of over-hyped.

Marcella said...

Love & Other Drugs has been done already. Twice. Remember Sweet November? How about Autumn in New York. All 3 of them are cinema turds. Ugh.

Handy Man, Crafty Woman said...

I can't stand watching Tom Cruise in anything.

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