List of People/Things That Bug Me

I won't name names because it really doesn't matter and some of these people I have no idea what their names are:

1.  The guy I saw coming out of the liquor store today (at 10:45 am) with a case of beer.  He hopped in a truck with a bunch of roofers and headed off to wield a nail gun and balance on the ridge of someone's roof.

2.  Sherwin-Williams for making no fewer than 30 shades of WHITE.  I just need to find a trim color for white woodwork and SW is making my brain hurt.  I've narrowed it down to Eggshell or Muslin.

3.  Anyone who describes people as "tough, but fair."  What does that even mean?  If you're being fair then it shouldn't be tough.  If you're tough, then you aren't fair.  In my opinion, I've found that people who are described this way typically are assholes.  They aren't fair.  They have favorites and they treat their favorites fairly (thus the people who say "tough, but fair"), but the rest of us schlubs get jerked around.

4.  Sam's Club/Costco demanding to see my membership card when I walk through the door.  I must have a card to purchase anything, why do you need to see my card when I walk in the door?  Are your mega packs of toilet paper and Cheez Ballz for members eyes only?

5.  Sam's Club/Costco demanding to see my receipt when I leave.  There are two different types of people who work the doors at these places.  There are the glancers.  They are the ones who glance in your cart and see that you have a gallon of milk, a bunch of bananas, a swimsuit and Power Bars.  They give you the stripe (or a smiley face if you've got a kid with you) and send you on your way.  Those people tend to work at Sam's.  The other ones are bouncers.  They count your bananas to make sure you didn't steal one from another bunch and tuck it in your bag.  They look inside the swimsuit for hidden contraband.  They draw a line on your receipt and NEVER give you a smiley face.  These people tend to work at Costco.  They BOTH make me feel like a criminal and I hate the lines they cause with their searches.

6.  Kelsey Grammer. When are all these women going to realize he's homosexual?  He's not a straight man.  I have extremely weak gaydar and yet mine goes crazy every time I see him on TV.  Either way, he's a douche who cheated on his harpy of a wife (hey, he picked that particular circle of Hell to live in) and now he wants his kids.  From what I've seen, NEITHER one of those two raise their kids. They have something like 4 nannies for 2 kids!  The kids would be better off in their own home with the 4 nannies and the parents get supervised visiting rights.

7.  Moms who kill their kids.  What's up with that?  Don't get me wrong, there are days that I feel like I could inflict bodily harm on my child.  They can piss me off like no one else, but come on!  They're defenseless, trusting kids!  OK, Mommy, let's go out to a deserted road in the middle of Maine!  That sounds like fun!  I also realize that the moms who do this are not well.  They probably have no business being a mother, but SOMEONE knows that.  SOMEONE sees how unstable these women are.  Husbands, parents, friends, co-workers, etc.  These women don't just snap.  These women simmer for a long time and send out lots of red flags for people to apparently IGNORE.

8.  Bin Laden and his porn collection.  Really?  How clich├ęd.

9.  Danielle Staub.  Did you know she went back to stripping?  Well, apparently she did and now she's retiring again and going to rehab.

10. Rehab.  Doesn't anyone have any shame anymore?  Shouldn't you keep your dirty little secrets about child molestation, cutting, drinking, drugs, kleptomania, etc. a secret?  Rehab is so hot right now.  Everyone's doing it.  You go to rehab, let People magazine do an expose on your problem, write a book, become the face of child molestation/cutting/drinking/drugs/kleptomania and go back to work.  It's crazy!  I don't want to discount SOME of the people who write these books though.  For instance, I know several women who really felt helped by Brooke Shield's book about post partum depression.  I'm irritated with people like Danielle Staub and Lindsey Lohan who make a life out of doing outrageous things to get their skanky asses on the cover of People magazine.

11.  Anyone who thinks the world will end on Saturday.  I think all of these doomsdayers are ridiculous and should shut up.  I wish I knew for sure if they were right because I have the cleaning lady coming on Friday and there's really no reason to pay her to clean if the Rapture is coming.  Although, I guess it would be nice to have a clean house for Jesus to see.  A TINY bit of me hopes they're right, because Saturday is a busy day for us and I'm not really looking forward to it.  Damn, just read it won't happen until 6 pm LOCAL time.  Of course!  My day will be over by then.


Steve said...

I certainly agree with #5. The whole receipt checking is totally ridiculous; especially since one of the reasons they do it is to make sure we get the correct price. At least according to the sign. Apparently the smartest person in the store is posted at the door and knows the shelf price of all the items. I feel like giving them a quiz each time before I hand over the receipt.

UnseasonablyWarm said...

I agree about Costco. You should be able to "get in" without the card. The best though was last July when I was at a Costco with the in-laws and I bought 2 things. No receipt. Where the hell did it go. The old dude at the store just stood there while I fumbled and panicked. The other door lady laughs and goes, "I think the baby has it," There it was. In my then 8n months old mouth, with drool all over it.

Carrie said...

LOL! I am a teacher and it's been suggested to be "tough but fair"! <3 your blog!

Anonymous said...

I agree with all of them, but found myself saying "AMEN" out loud when I read 4 and 5. Great blog!

Kate said...

I HATE when I ask a reasonable question and I'm told "I have no idea." Really? Really?! NO idea?

ME: How much will my registration be to renew?
DMV Lade on Phone: I have no idea.
ME: NO idea? So it could be $0.50?
DMV Lady: Of course not. It's a percentage of the blue book value.
ME: So you have an idea.

ME: About how long do you think it'll take for this to reach it's destination?
USPS Dude: I have no idea.
ME: So.... like 300,000,000 years? 14 minutes?
USPS Dude: 3-5 business days.

etc. We usually have SOME idea.

Anonymous said...

Can we just kill Lindsey Lohan and put us ALL out of our misery? And for the love of mud, can we stop REWARDING her for acting like an asshole? I saw on the news the other day that some magazine that she's on sold out completely or something; seriously? She's a wreck and she's getting attention for it, and she's being rewarded for being a douchebag. (That goes double for Charlie Sheen) Put her skanky ass in jail and make her ROT there for a few years. Even if she doesn't clean up her act, we won't be subjected to her antics all the damn time. She started off as a cute kid and had the potential to be a decent actress (I say decent because she was never going to be great, but she probably would have worked steadily her whole life) and now she's a joke. But apparently, in the celebrity world, you can break as many laws as you want to and still walk free. Look at all the people with DUIs who are still driving around, racking up more DUIs, all because of their status. In my little corner of the world, you get a DUI, you get your license taken away. Stupid, stupid LiLo.

talea216 said...

#4. I can't stand that they check your card on the way in. How stupid. There is a sign next to the entrance that says the only thing you can buy in the store without a membership is alcohol. wth. If you don't need a membership to buy alcohol, AND you need your card to buy everything else, then what's the point? I'll never get it.

Overachieving Elf on the Shelf Mommies

By now we have all heard of the adorable little Elf on the Shelf . Almost everyone I know has one.  Some people even have two!  (Now I'...

Popular Posts