Today I saw the newest one: a $300 an hour consultant who advises your daughter about sorority rush week and helps her get into the sorority of her choice. This consultant offers your daughter sage advice on what to wear and what to say. I would guess "Be yourself" is not part of her repertoire.
I had really hoped that young women were past all of this bullshit by now. Instead, it looks like they're raising the bar. How degrading rush week must be if you feel the need to hire a consultant to tell you how to behave and how to look. Why would anyone encourage their daughter to participate in that kind of cattle call? Why would anyone pay for someone to poke holes in their daughter's confidence by telling her you're not good enough, but I can try and make you good enough?
We work so hard on making our daughters confident, independent, free thinkers who people should want to be around (not because they dress a certain way or say the right things) and then we turn around and say "Not so fast, no one is going to like you and accept you into their club unless you have the right accessories with your Lily Pulitzer dress"?? That just doesn't make sense to me. I don't know if it's just another example of a helicopter parent or an over achiever who wants her daughter to be perfect or a passive parent who can't bear to see precious Arabella not succeed at everything she tries or what.
|I spent $300 an hour and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.|
It just makes me sick to know that people are spending $300 an hour to get through fucking rush week. How about telling your daughter to be herself when she rushes and donate $300 to the charity of your choice?
As I'm sure you've guessed by now, I was never in a sorority. Shocking, I know. I attended a small, private liberal arts college where we didn't have sororities or fraternities. I had many friends at other colleges and universities who rushed and had various outcomes. I know that not one of them paid $300 an hour for a consultant. Some of them rushed and made it in and loved every minute and still consider those women to be some of their best friends, others made it in and were miserable, a few others rushed and then were told no one wanted them and a few chose not to rush at all.
I'm not sure what I would have done had I gone to a college with sororities. I know for certain my parents would have never hired a consultant for me. I'd like to think I would not have gotten caught up in the hoopla of it all and just stayed in my dorm with a good book. It's hard to say. I know now (and I knew then) that I would have never been asked to join the elite sororities. I would have never wanted to subject myself to that kind of torture and I really try not to go looking for rejection. So I doubt I would have even tried to rush them. I might have been accepted into a lower tiered sorority, but I know me and once I heard about all the rules you had to follow (and the bows you had to wear), I'm sure I would not have lasted very long. I'm just not cut out for that life.
I have no idea what Adolpha will decide. There is so much pressure already to look and act a certain way. Even as a Kindergartener she's worried about her clothes and if she's accepted by her peers. I'm working hard to help her overcome that pressure and to be confident in who she is so that by the time she's 18 she (hopefully) won't be (too) hung up on this kind of shit. But I'm not a total asshole. If she chooses to rush someday, I will take her shopping and buy her a fucking Lily Pulitzer dress, but I won't hire a $300 an hour consultant. I draw the line there! I will tell her to be herself and if someone doesn't like her, then say, Fuck 'em and go find a friend at the library.
I know lots of you are sorority girls and loved the sorority life (I know I'll for sure hear from my friend Heather). I'm not trying to attack sororities, so don't turn the comments into a shit storm of "sororities suck" and "fuck you, they do not." I'm attacking the fact that people are wasting money on bullshit rush week consultants. Would you pay $300 an hour to help your daughter rush? Is the "right" sorority that important?