Parents Who Hire Rush Week Consultants

I swear, I'm going to start a business where I consult people on how to stop spending their money on stupid shit for their spoiled and pampered kids.

Today I saw the newest one:  a $300 an hour consultant who advises your daughter about sorority rush week and helps her get into the sorority of her choice.  This consultant offers your daughter sage advice on what to wear and what to say.  I would guess "Be yourself" is not part of her repertoire.

I had really hoped that young women were past all of this bullshit by now.  Instead, it looks like they're raising the bar.  How degrading rush week must be if you feel the need to hire a consultant to tell you how to behave and how to look.  Why would anyone encourage their daughter to participate in that kind of cattle call?  Why would anyone pay for someone to poke holes in their daughter's confidence by telling her you're not good enough, but I can try and make you good enough?

We work so hard on making our daughters confident, independent, free thinkers who people should want to be around (not because they dress a certain way or say the right things) and then we turn around and say "Not so fast, no one is going to like you and accept you into their club unless you have the right accessories with your Lily Pulitzer dress"??  That just doesn't make sense to me.  I don't know if it's just another example of a helicopter parent or an over achiever who wants her daughter to be perfect or a passive parent who can't bear to see precious Arabella not succeed at everything she tries or what.  
I spent $300 an hour and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
It just makes me sick to know that people are spending $300 an hour to get through fucking rush week.  How about telling your daughter to be herself when she rushes and donate $300 to the charity of your choice?  

As I'm sure you've guessed by now, I was never in a sorority.  Shocking, I know.  I attended a small, private liberal arts college where we didn't have sororities or fraternities.  I had many friends at other colleges and universities who rushed and had various outcomes.  I know that not one of them paid $300 an hour for a consultant.  Some of them rushed and made it in and loved every minute and still consider those women to be some of their best friends, others made it in and were miserable, a few others rushed and then were told no one wanted them and a few chose not to rush at all.

I'm not sure what I would have done had I gone to a college with sororities.  I know for certain my parents would have never hired a consultant for me.  I'd like to think I would not have gotten caught up in the hoopla of it all and just stayed in my dorm with a good book.  It's hard to say.  I know now (and I knew then) that I would have never been asked to join the elite sororities.  I would have never wanted to subject myself to that kind of torture and I really try not to go looking for rejection.  So I doubt I would have even tried to rush them.  I might have been accepted into a lower tiered sorority, but I know me and once I heard about all the rules you had to follow (and the bows you had to wear), I'm sure I would not have lasted very long.  I'm just not cut out for that life.  

I have no idea what Adolpha will decide.  There is so much pressure already to look and act a certain way.  Even as a Kindergartener she's worried about her clothes and if she's accepted by her peers.  I'm working hard to help her overcome that pressure and to be confident in who she is so that by the time she's 18 she (hopefully) won't be (too) hung up on this kind of shit.  But I'm not a total asshole.  If she chooses to rush someday, I will take her shopping and buy her a fucking Lily Pulitzer dress, but I won't hire a $300 an hour consultant.  I draw the line there!  I will tell her to be herself and if someone doesn't like her, then say, Fuck 'em and go find a friend at the library.

I know lots of you are sorority girls and loved the sorority life (I know I'll for sure hear from my friend Heather).  I'm not trying to attack sororities, so don't turn the comments into a shit storm of "sororities suck" and "fuck you, they do not."  I'm attacking the fact that people are wasting money on bullshit rush week consultants.  Would you pay $300 an hour to help your daughter rush?  Is the "right" sorority that important?

68 comments:

EJ said...

There was also an $8000 package!!!! WHAT?!? As a non-sorority-er (who lived with two sorority girls), I knew it wasn't for me. How about you donate that money to help girls who have no food!!!

lauralaylin said...

I agree 100%. As long as the child (or the parent I guess, but that is kind of helicopter-like) does her research, there's no way this would be needed. In certain parts of the country, recs are essential, the Lily dress will certainly help, and where you went to camp or high school can give you an edge. But in the end, you need to mesh well with the group, and personality is the most important quality.

I must say that recruitment in the south is a whole different beast than the rest of the country. I joined my sorority in the NE, and now living in the south, and learning more about the deep south because of my leadership positions in my sorority, I see how much more work goes in on both ends. No consultant is needed still, but knowing what you are getting yourself into is so important. Those who sign up without having any idea are the ones who are usually unhappy at the end. But some google searches and talks with alums and other sorority members is free!

Also, I believe that the NPC does not approve of these consultants.

Amy said...

I was in a sorority and I cannot agree with you more!! To join one with a fake personality that someone helped you come up with is just a long term miserable headache ready to happen. The purpose of a sorority is mainly for college women to find a support network of sisters on whom you can rely on for a number if personal and professional things. I lived my sorority specifically because it didn't feel fake...it felt like a home away from home. Granted, I went to an engineering university with less than 20% women enrolled, so there wasn't a lot of "girlie" rush stuff going on. When we had to "dress to pin", khakis were a big deal! Lol! I have two young daughters and I'm already fearful of how we all will handle the emotional "trying to fit in" stages of life. I will help them how I can...to be confident in themselves. I will never hire someone to tell them how to try to be someone else.

Laura said...

1st: I had to look up Lilly Pulitzer. I had no clue.
2nd: Those dresses look like every other dress at every other store. I don't get it.
3rd: While I would never encourage my daughter to rush, I will support her if she chooses to do so (you know, in 11 years when she's in college). But not by spending $300 on a consultant and $100+ on an ugly dress.

Shelley in So. IL said...

I think if your daughter needs a consultant to get in the "right" sorority then it is NOT the right sorority. I was in a sorority 20 years ago and while I have not kept in touch with every girl I knew, I do still meet up with 5 other friends and their families every summer. We shared some very specific life experiences (dormers and study rooms, anyone?) that we enjoy rehashing with our husbands and kids!

Anonymous said...

I'm with Laura...Lilly Pulitzer? I'm sickened by the parents who would pay for this and teach their daughters this lesson. Maybe the parents who are doing this are still trying to live vicariously through their children as they probably did throughout middle school and high school. Come on, parents! Allow your kids to experience the reao world of disappointment and rejection which can be vital lessons in figuring out just what you believe and where you belong.

Kelly and Sne said...

I never did the sorority thing because I never was a "joiner". That said, I can see how the networking / friendships can help with longer-term career prospects - especially with guys. However, I agree that this illustrates how fundamentally the values of our country are all screwed up as we worship the image-conscious and the mighty dollar.

Leila said...

I'm totally with you on the whole hiring a consultant for rush thing. But I think that's something that's more prevalent in the South where getting into the "right" sorority is a matter of life or death.

In the South, the Greek culture is HUGE. Girls who have mothers who are alumna of a sorority try their HARDEST to get into that same sorority or "better." It's the same type of culture as being a member of Junior League or something. It defines you when you're much older. "Oh.... she was a Kappa Delta... poor thing." That type of thing.

And honestly, the "elite" houses change from campus to campus and from state to state. In one state, Alpha Phi might be THE house every girl aspires to get into. Her mom is an A Phi, her aunt is an A Phi, heck, her Grandma was one! So if she doesn't make it in, say, at Ole Miss, her mom and her might decide to transfer her to another university out of state where there's an A Phi house to increase the odds of her getting into it and then transfer back to the original university. With all of the social greek sororities, once you're a member, you're a member for life. So if you join at one campus and transfer to another, you're automatically a member of that house, regardless of the "type" of girl they take at that location.

And that's the other thing, the same house can differ from campus to campus. At one university, they can be the girls who always have the newest Coach purse and are made up to the nines every single day. At another campus, they can be the most casual and down to earth girls you'll ever meet.

I agree that it's all a little crazy when you decide you need to hire a Rush Consultant. But for some women and girls, that's what they aspire to. The biggest thing is: it's not that way all over the US.

And just a little disclaimer: I am an alumna of a sorority. I think it's perfectly fine if you feel that a sorority is not for you. All of what I said was meant to be an explanation, not justification. As I mentioned, I think hiring a consultant for rush is crazy.

Leila said...

Also, I just want to mention that the purpose of Rush week isn't to break down and degrade the girls who are rushing. It's to find the girls who best display the values of the sorority and fit the personality of the house. Yes, that can absolutely sound exclusionary, but if your house holds serving the homeless as one of their major values and you have a girl that rushes that says "screw the homeless!! They deserve what they're getting!", that's not the right fit for you and for her. And that's what the purpose of rush is. But there are houses at universities that take it too far, with the whole "you don't have the right dress," or "you didn't go to the right camp" crap.

Sue said...

I agree -- this is definitely a regional thing. I went to a university in the northeast and wanted the Greek experience, but none of the established sororities felt like 'me.' I considered going through formal rush, but the idea of having to visit every house (especially the ones I knew were snobby) was off putting. I was so thrilled when I heard about and joined with a group of women working to bring a new national on campus. We had a blast and didn't give a crap about what camp someone went to or what kinds of clothes they were wearing, as long as they were fun, active and ethical, and made a commitment to keep the group that way.

It seems that in places like the south, much of the campus social life revolves around the Greek community, and it's a huge thing for a girl to get into the same sorority her mom is in. I'd say that the family connection really makes the consultant concept obsolete. If getting your daughter into the right house is so important, you've been drumming all of the 'right' things into her head since birth, and you've been lining up recommendations or sponsors for her throughout high school.

And besides, your sorority sisters are supposed to be your friends. Why would you want friends you had to fake your way to get to like you?

Mexmom said...

We didn't have sororities where I went to college, but I do know that hire a consultant to get into one is a bit much.

Did I Just Say That Out Loud? said...

This reminds me of a life changing point in my life when I was about 12...in order to hang out with a particular group of girls they told me I needed to have Lee jeans, and a certain pink jacket...and something else I don't remember. I of course ran right home and asked for these things. My mother stated very clearly that if I could think of three good reasons that she should purchase these things for me, she would do that. I could not come up with three, and was pretty upset to be excluded from the group until my mom took me out for lunch, and bought me something I chose and loved...and then I understood why she had done it. I credit her for helping me to understand that I feel best about myself when I am confident in my own choices and not someone else's. I feel a bit sorry for these girls who have not developed that level of confidence by the time they attend college.

Sue said...

Leila, you bring up good points about how sororities vary from chapter to chapter. The daughter of one of my sorority sisters went through rush at a school that's not her mom's alma mater, and she wasn't thrilled with our sorority's chapter there, so she pledged at another house. It's disappointing only because she will be a credit to any group she joins, but her mom's just as happy she's enjoying an experience that's right for her.

I guess I can understand the transfer situation you outline ... kind of... if you consider that the lifetime membership lasts a lot longer than the three or four years you're in a chapter in college. BUT... it's ridiculous to spend any part of your life suffering through a group of people you don't like, just so you can go to alumnae meetings with Mom in the future.

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with the consultant being a 'crazy' buy. My dad was a Greek while my mother was a self proclaimed GDI (gosh darn independent- in cleaned up terms). I decided to go Greek and I LOVED it. And by that I mean I loved my sorority and my sisters not all the other ones. I was not an over achiever A+ college student, I was trying to be young and dumb while I was still young enough to be dumb, so I didn't fit into many of the other student groups. Through Rush you find out a lot about not only the sisters and other rushees but also about yourself. For me it was a learning experience about myself. And after you complete rush you don't have to join if you decide it was a bad idea. If you hire a consultant to 'coach' you into the sorority then you don't learn anything about yourself. Thanks for another amazing insight Jenn!

Anonymous said...

Maybe i will just keep homeschooling my kids right the heck through college. I was sorta under the cray-cray impression college was for an education. Not your sorority of choice, pretty dress, or perfect shade of blonde hair. My mistake.

Leila said...

I absolutely agree with you Sue. I think it's ridiculous to pretend to be someone you're not just to get into a certain house. I don't condone the transfer situation at all. I mentioned it because it is a scenario that happens often enough.

Gwen Kirchner said...

I actually worked at a university while going to school and I don't think they had sororities or fraternities at the time. Of course, I was nearly 8 years older than regular college kids so wouldn't have cared if they did. I did join an international sorority that was very much a service organization and had a good time. It was geared toward adult women so there was no consultants necessary. I went to a meeting, had a good time, and joined.

lgr said...

I'm so freakin' glad I had a boy.

Anonymous said...

Loved what John Stewart said when asked if he was in a fraternity - "I was in one for six months before I realized that the artifice and forced camaraderie was no substitute for actual friendship" I was in a sorority and hated it - felt like just a way for the "popular" girls in high school to continue their reign in college where everyone should really be too old and hopefully more open -minded to care about such stuff

YKIHAYHT said...

Oh good gravy. When does it end? Parents, for fucks sake just let your kids be who they want to be, not who you think they should be. So they grow up to be a total goober, who the hell cares? At least they are honest with themselves and hopefully have the confidence to tell everyone else "Look at me, I am awesome". This is ridiculous.

JCW said...

I went to a small Southern liberal arts college that had a very tiny Greek system. I joined a sorority, loved it, and am now a national officer (a volunteer). I was INCENSED when I saw this story on GMA yesterday. If you have to be fake to get in, why do you want to be in it? And no, the NPC (the governing body of all 26 sororities) does not approve of those consultants, and I can almost guarantee that Alpha Phi (the sorority that the girl in the interview joined) was probably pretty unhappy with her for doing the interview. That's not what sorority life is about. It is ridiculous to pay for a consultant - give that money to the sorority's philanthropy. Alpha Phi's is Cardiac Care (thanks Wikipedia), and I'm sure they would love a $300+ donation. Stories like this only serve to fuel the fire that Greeks are all about image and partying.

L Carilo said...

My daughter attends a small, private liberal arts college where I don't recall hearing they have sororities or fraternities; I'm pretty sure if they did have sororities, the thought never crossed her mind to try to get in one. She was however approached to join the campus volunteer fire department - she's a tiny little thing that a strong wind would easy lift! I told her to ask if she could be their mascot.

Allpeaches said...

I want to punch ANYONE who has ever been in a sorority. It's a disgusting segregation of students in a time that is hard enough.

Going off to college can be a big deal for kids and THEN when they get there, they are told Yes YOU are good enough or No YOU are not.
We spend our lives teaching our kids to be their own person and when they get to college they are mashed into this conformed house or that conformed house or not at all, leaving them feeling worthless because they were their own person. What the fuck kind of message is THAT?!?! HOW is this acceptable?!

What I don't understand is WHY can't these "sorority girls" have created the long lasting relationships that carry on today even WITHOUT a sorority?!?! I am still in touch with a couple of people from college and I wasn't in a 'sorority'!!
WHY are we putting kids through that whole process?!

Calamity Jane said...

Thanks for sending folks to the library! As an librarian at a large university, I can tell you that we welcome all comers, and all our consultations are free. Also - that's where the really cool people are.

Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 said...

I had to Google Lily Pulitzer, too. Why would one pay $200 for a dress that looks like it's from Wal-Mart?

Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 said...

Annnnnd now AdChoices is serving up L.P. ads...

Sarah said...

I graduated from a small performing arts college in Boston and I think we may have had a sorority but I never knew anyone who joined it. I'm not sure I would have survived in a more traditional college, especially when I read about stuff like this. Gross. I can't even imagine. Who AH these people?! LOL. I pray my bambino doesn't grow up and date a girl who paid 300 bucks to learn how to rush. Ew.

KCmomof2 said...

Okay Jen since you called me out and said you knew I would comment now I guess I have to! I am "friend Heather" mentioned above. I had a wonderful sorority experience as a collegiate but I would say I have had an even more amazing experience as an alumnae serving as an advisor and on building the perception that sororities are not just for college but for your entire life. I have put on career fairs with other alumnae and helped young women network in this tough economic time. Sororities like other alumnae groups can provide you that foot in the door you might not otherwise get.

Now all that said I can't imagine hiring a consultant for my daughter if and when she decides to go through recruitment (we don't call it rush anymore :), although us old timers still slip up occasionally!) A consultant might help you dress, act, behave a certain way for the week long period of formal recruitment but what is going to happen when the honeymoon is over and you have to "live" the next 4 years being not really yourself. Now I am not saying a girl who had no greek relatives might not want to get some advice from a neighbor, mom's friend or older girl she knows at the University she is planning to attend. Reference letters introducing girls to the various houses are helpful in the selection process particularly if they come from an alumnae who is well known. I have written dozens of them through the years and I do value the content when I am helping with recruitment as an advisor because is very hard to get the true measure of a girl in just a few brief interactions at the recruitment parties.

Go to the library or bookstore and get Jen Lancaster's Pretty in Plaid where she talks about bankrupting herself and flunking out of school at Purdue her freshman year trying to keep up with the snooty sorority girls she was trying to impress. I think thats what comes from hiring a consultant and ended up in a house where you don't really belong as your authentic self.

My best advice to any girl is WAIT A SEMESTER or A YEAR TO RUSH!!!!! Start school, live in the dorm, get a sense for each chapter at your college and go through the much less stressful Spring rush your Freshman year or Fall rush your sophomore year. That's what I did. I know I chose a different house after living at my school for a year than I would have if I had joined as a freshman.

I was initiated into my house in 1993. I am still extremely close to many of those women. I was not your traditional college student. I was older. I was a veteran and still serving in the Air Force Reserves when I started attending my college. I was required to be at my base 1 and sometimes 2 weekends a month for drills. I didn't think a sorority would understand that. Guess what they did and the right one though it made me a better member. I have never forgotten their willingness to accept me as a square peg and not trying to put me in a round hole.

Deni said...

Holy monkey! I totally rushed, absolutely loved it, those are some of my best friends. I was totally myself because I am fabulous just as I am, and that's exactly what I will teach my daughter!!! A consultant, are you freaking kidding!?!?!? $300/hr, what lunatic does that?! I agree that is seriously what is wrong with our world today! I think that getting in or not getting in or getting in the one you want teaches you a lot about life and helps you to determine who you are as a person. I agree with you 100% here, this is completely ridiculous and even as an OAM (at times) I won't be doing this for my daughter! Geez and we wonder why girls are anorexic and committing suicide and such!

Heartmom5 said...

This is just so sad-I was a sorority girl and it was a really important part of my college years. I have maintained very close friendships with several of the girls in my house and I have very fond memories of those years. Never in a million years would my parents have hired a consultant for me and in fact they did not pay for any of my sorority related expenses-that was my responsibility. This is helicopter parenting to the extreme. I truly worry about how this generation will function in the world without mom and dad hovering 24/7!

Anonymous said...

Yeah - no consultant for my spawn.....I hope thing change in the next 9-14 years when my female spawn arrive at the university age should they choose to join a sorority. I'll support them whatever they decide. But I won't be paying for a consultant. Nope. I'll be telling them to suck it up.

McBDesigns said...

Ditto!

EverGreen said...

I have never even heard of 'rush week'!! :/

Jessica said...

I wouldn't spend 300 pennies on a rush week consultant. Once my kid is 18, they can pay for their own damn consultants, I'm not wasting my money on that crap.

I want to know how was sitting around and thought to themselves "there's a real gap in the market, I should open a Rush Week Consulting company...that's something that people need."

kaptnkarl said...

I would imagine that the people who would hire a $300/hr consultant to help their daughter get into the "right" sorority are the same type of shallow materialistic people who buy their daughters boob jobs for their sweet sixteen present.

I Miss You When I Blink said...

No. Uh-uh. That cannot be a thing.

Humanity baffles me.

Melissa @ Filling Our Bucket said...

That's insane. But, it doesn't shock me, particularly if this is going on in the south where Greek life is a totally different animal than up here in New England.

But yeah. I was in a sorority. I didn't need a coach to get in. Dumb.

First Step said...

Wow, that's harsher than any of the sororities. I joined a sorority because I went to an engineering school, and sometimes I was the only female in class. It was hard to meet other girls because I wasn't around many.
No one is forced to go through rush, and at least at my university, after the first round, you can eliminate the groups that you definitely don't want to join. And you can decide at any time not to continue with rush or choose not to accept a bid.
I'm still in touch with other friends from college who weren't in the same sorority, but having a "third place" was important to me, and it was comforting to know I could go to the house at anytime, day or night, and have a friend to hang out with or talk to.
Sororities aren't just about partying--we had weekly meetings and broke into study groups afterward. That's not to say we didn't have fun, but we also accomplished what we were at university to do, get degrees.
Both of my daughters will be in college in the next 5 years. If they decide to join my sorority, I will be excited for them, and I won't be any less excited if they find that they are a better fit with another group. If they decide a sorority isn't for them, that's great, too. I hope they'll join another organization for a cause or activity that is important to them. It's about what makes them happy; I've already had my turn at college.

Hey Mon! said...

Love this! (And filing it away for when my daughters approach me with this kind of request.)

Brooke said...

$300/hr to tell someone what to wear and say? Even I could bullshit through that...where do I apply? Haha!

Delfin Joaquin Paris III said...

I wonder if the consultant just goes, "Be thin and hot."

"I'm ready for my $300 now."

Anonymous said...

Having done the sorority thing at a small state school in PA, I do think this is rediculous. However, in the south soririties are a big thing and girls will do whatever they can to get into the house of their choice. Especially if they are a legacy (related to someone in that sorority). I enjoyed my time with my sisters and didn't have to be anything but myself to be accepted by them. It's a shame not everyone sees it that way.

Sarah said...

Here's my two cents worth. I agree and think the Greek system, like with any sort of group, can have good one and bad eggs. Going away to college can be scary for 18 year olds, and I think sororities can really keep girls grounded and accountable and give them a sort of safety net.
I to had to look up the Lilly Pulitzer dresses and I will say this I would rather my daughter(when I have one) wear one of those dresses than some of street walker shit I've seen on some of these college girls. I'm not saying these girls needs to be sporting a wimple but if you bend the wrong way and can see your lady garden you skirts to short. honey.

Tankersmom said...

I will be saving my $300 for bail money because just about every college student I went to school with needed it at some point! I have three kids so the odds are against me. And all three will be getting into a frat/sorority of their own devices if they so choose.

jules said...

Joining a sorority was something that never crossed my mind when I attended college. I participated in a varsity sport which gave me all the friendships and sisterhood that I needed. I would sure as shit never had paid for any consultant trainer to make the team back them, nor would I now. The same would apply if I had decided to join a sorority. There are better things to waste money on like iphone's and ipads.

SouthMainMuse said...

Well, I went to a school in the great state of Texas. I was pretty much a novice at the sorority thing but when 50 percent of the school is Greek (or it seemed that way) you rush. This was a few decades ago. We had rush beginning of second semester -- January. Girls rented furs and jewelry. Girls who had their heart set on a certain group and they weren't offered a bid, left school. Packed up all their things in a trunk and went home. I'm so far removed from it now but it was pretty high drama. A college friend lives in Dallas and said her daughter has friends whose parents pay over a $100 for a mum for their high school football Homecoming. People are a little oopy out there.

Anonymous said...

Rush week at the university I attended was the week that girls and boys "tried out" for the sorority or fraternity of their dreams. I went to a good academic school with a big party reputation. As a resident assistant (RA) I saw people returning from rush week activities (often without the ability to walk on their own due to alcohol consumption), become excited when the group they wanted agreed to take them, and moved to tears when rejected. A few of my residents openly shared their experiences with me and I know that I was glad I approached college in a different way. I maintained my academic/social college life away from "sorority row."

Anonymous said...

Just had to look that up myself, lol.

Anonymous said...

I guess I see it as the same thing as those who pay to get carrer consulting. They are basically image consultants and the best ones help you make your best qualities shine. I don't see it as Wrongly as you. It's like wearing that outfit that makes you feel fabulous, you are still you, but you are putting your best foot forward. These consultants also work on interview skills and presenting yourself in a polished manner, these are attributes that will carry any woman beyond sorority row.

Anonymous said...

For the record Heather - those sorority girls were so lucky to have you as their square peg just as I was lucky to have you go to church camp with me!! So thankful you introduced me to "Jen"! I love this blog. Laughing at these posts is what keeps me from killing some of the stupd fucks I work with! As for the consultant - what a bunch of shit...but for the people that thought of the idea - good for them for making money off of stupid ass parents that think they can buy their spoiled kids a life. Real life is bought with mommy and daddy's money....it is earned with hard work. Most of us C-town girls know that!

Anonymous said...

There are lots of ways to find friends and sister hood in college, if you are into the sorority thing by all means, do it, but do it for real, as your self, not some fake person a consultant made up for you to act like! I had plenty of friends and support through my room/suite/dorm mates and my classmates who were in the same or similar fields of study, rushing never crossed my mind. HOWEVER, now, as a grown up, I joined an organization to "make friends" in my town, where I moved as an adult with no personal connections to the area, and it has really helped, being a stay at home mom in a town where I am not related to anyone and didn't grown up here, you need a way to "make friends".

Andrea Taylor said...

Any parent who condones spending the "monthly dues" for a sorority in addition to their child's tuition is beyond me. I'm not hating on the ones who have posted here and stil keep in close contact with their "sisters and grand-littles," I just think the amount of money it costs these days to buy these friends is a little excessive. Times have changed and it's no longer something that's fun for a college student, it's more of a social status. True, not all sororities are like this and have a more academic approach, so not all sororities are a total joke. I think it gives our kids a bad message that you can always buy happiness, instead of working hard to get it. Who needs to work hard for anything? Just write a check, get hazed, degraded, and yelled at for 6 weeks and then you'll have sisters for life! If you want to make friends, get active. Join a club that volunteers and take your monthly dues and donate it. Kids will make so many new friends, with different personalities, and realize that sometimes a little hard work actually "pays" off.

DUAlumni said...

Although I enjoyed my time in a sorority in college, I won't be paying big bucks just so my daughter can get in one. Either she gets in on her own merit or she doesn't. No need to fake who you are just so you can be popular.

Anonymous said...

My daughter is a junior in college. She never was interested in joining a sorority, she said "I don't believe in buying friends". But then again, in Wisconsin, it's all about the sports. I don't think sororities are that big of a deal. She met a great group of friends in her dorms and they are all renting a large house off campus. So no "sorority dues" for me :)

Anonymous said...

Fraternities can be worse!

Adrienne said...

For real?? That's insane!

Faithe said...

Jenn, as a soroity girl I am right there with you. I would not trade my sisters and the experience I had for the world. But hire someone to "teach" me to do and say the right things. Bullshit. My sisters love me for who I am. Good and bad and everything that comes with the package.

Rebecca Russo said...

I'm with Faithe. I pledged a sorority and am glad I did. But $300 for a consultant?? That's insane.

Jill said...

Hi, I actually work with sororities on a college campus - for my full time job. AND I am blown away and appalled by this consultant scenario. It undermines everything "sorority" should be about, which is helping develop young women. I appreciate your perspective and absolutely agree.

Jean Costanzo said...

As the (unpaid) recruitment adviser for a chapter of my sorority I am laughing that there are people actually getting that kind of money for this. I think the girls I work with would put that at a reason not to welcome you to our house. There are much better things to spend your money on...

Amanda said...

I also read this article. As someone who was a participant in Greek life and enjoyed it most of the time I couldn't think of a worse thing. If you are using a consultant to figure out what to say so you get into the house you want, but are not being yourself you are going to be miserable in the end. You have to be yourself so you can see where you fit in the best.
PS Love the blog

Momma said...

I just googled it too!

Sheric said...

Thank God I am not the only one!!

Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms said...

Holy Bogus Batman. How does one get credentialed as a consultant? And is there a money-back guarantee if you don't get the house of your dreams? And do they run a side business sending out emails for a prince in Nigeria?

Ellen

Susan Thatcher said...

1) All y'all are welcome to join a VERY loose co-ed org that was founded at the University of Vermont (Go, Cats, Go) called Gamma Delta Iota aka God Damn Independent. All you need to do is make up a T shirt with the appropriate Greek letters.
2) My older sister joined Alpha Chi Omega and loved it so much that she will do anything for her "sisters". I wouldn't give you a plugged nickel for any of those back-stabbing bitches; as soon as one of the leaves the room, the others start the back-biting. I've seen this. As for blood sisters, anytime I've asked her for help, the reponse has been "What do you expect me to do about it?" Okay.
3) I rushed. Got in nowhere. Neither did my best friend and unindicted co-conspirator. So, we became Gamma Delta Iota.
4) As for the "real" Greek system? Fuck them. Fuck them all.

Anonymous said...

My oldest daughter started her first year of college this year. She was a little upset we told her to wait a year to rush especially since her 2 roommates were going up a day early because they were rushing. But after a week she'd proudly joined GDI with a guy across the hall who also had 2 rushing roommates. She's not a girly bonding with other girly girls kind of person so being a God Damned Independent is the perfect non-frat/sorority for her! Hiring consultants IMO takes away from the experience and is just another way for Mummy and Daddy to use their money to get Princess what she wants- get outta your damned helicopter and let your kid grow up!!!!

Anonymous said...

I joined a house second semester as a freshman because at my school you can't rush first semester. I was shy, and think it helped me a lot. I didn't love the rules, but I really enjoyed coming 'home' to a group of people that I knew well that was a stable group of people and mostly the same from year to year. 17 years out of college, I still keep in touch with a few of the girls and see them a few times a year. I also have met several of my close friends after college through some of my 'sisters'. Fortunately, my house held 96 women, so I wasn't limited to trying to fit into an exact stereotype. We had all kinds, but then we were not a top tiered house. I don't think any of us cared.

When I tell people today that I was in a sorority, most of them are shocked. My advice to anybody going to a university where they have fraternities and sororities is to go through recruitment. You may find out it isn't for you (because it isn't for everyone), but don't eliminate the possibility until you've tried it. I will give my children that very same advice when they go to college.

Katie Paschal said...

Amen.

I do know a few people in fraternities/sororities who are perfectly nice, but Greek organizations as a whole?

Ehhhhhhhh... No.

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