A friend posted this article on her Facebook today. It's about a new trend psychiatrists are seeing. Apparently 20 somethings (who have been raised in our society of "everyone's a winner" and helicopter parents) are ending up on therapists' couches because they feel a void. They're happy, but....it's not quite enough....they deserve more. WAH!
It reminded me, once again, how easy it is for me to screw up my kids.
No. I absolutely don't believe that! I don't beat my children; I don't lock them in the attic. I feed them on a regular basis, I clothe them, I educate them, I read to them, I play with them, I take them on vacations, but still, I run the risk of putting them in therapy?! Not for abuse, but because I love them TOO MUCH?! Ugh. Seriously, people?
What is the deal with this younger generation that seems to think they should ALWAYS be happy?
These whiny 20 somethings are sitting around moaning and groaning about how they're not happy ENOUGH. Happy enough? Really?? These are not people who are out of work, who have lost a loved one, or who are losing their home. These people have good jobs, loving spouses, healthy children, and plenty of money (obviously, if they can spend money on a therapist to figure out why they're not happy enough). Unlike the people out there with real depression. You know, people who have suicidal thoughts and need to be medicated. People who think about throwing their babies out windows or blowing their own heads off. THAT is depression, THAT is unhappiness!
So WTF is the problem?? What these asshats are experiencing is something completely different. I don't think these young people are unhappy. I think they're BORED. I think they need to learn to deal with their boredom. The Hubs has a favorite saying he uses all the time on our kids. When they complain they're bored and he says, "Only boring people are bored." I agree with him completely. Figure out how to entertain yourself and you will never be bored.
I am not a cruise director. My job is not to entertain my kids 24/7. That being said, I will admit that of course I spoil my kids (contrary to popular belief, I'm not perfect). My kids live in a beautiful home full of toys and games. Of course I give them lots of love and attention. I love to be with my kids and I love to play with them and hang out with them. I also love to see them entertain themselves - or entertain me. I love to see them go their rooms and read a book or color. I love to see them ride their scooters or play "Puppy Tag". (It's like Tag - only you play on all fours because you're a puppy. Duh.) I don't have the time, energy or desire to be a helicopter parent. Lucky for my kids, I'm just a "good enough" mother, which research is showing is just the right balance to raise a healthy, well-adjusted, productive member of society. For once, mediocre is best. Woohoo! (I'm sure once my kids hit their 20s, research will show that good enough parenting screws up your kids too.)
I think parents need to stop over-scheduling their kids' lives and filling every moment with something fun and exciting. They need to let their kids fail and get back up and try again. They need to let the kids realize that life has disappointments and crappy days. Might as well get used to it now.
I hate to keep blaming the parents though. At some point, these ADULT children need to take responsibility for their emotions and get over it. What's done is done. You were raised in a loving, over-protective, over-indulgent environment where you were the center of the universe and your every wish was granted and now you feel unfulfilled. Fine. Whatever. It's time to get over it now. You do NOT need therapy (stop wasting your/your parent's money). That's ridiculous. Put on your big girl panties/grow a sack, get out of therapy and find a hobby, buy a dog, read a book -anything! Just get in touch with reality. You need to realize: You're going to have good days and bad days. It's called being an adult. Not every day is a fucking day at Disneyland. Grow up.
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