Weekly Wrap Up 9.29.12

Guess what?  I am so close to being done now with my book!!  I had a contest this week to find an artist to do the cover.  Thank you to those of you who threw your hat in the ring.  I've narrowed it down to 4 artists and I should have my decision and my cover by the end of the next week.  I am beyond excited.

Top Read Posts This Week:

The Beginning of My Transformation - I've been given an opportunity to work out with a personal trainer and I couldn't say "No."  It meant so much to me to have so many positive comments come through.  Thanks so much for your encouraging and supportive words and I look forward to sharing more with you about getting my ass kicked twice a week.  Yesterday was my third workout so far and today I can barely bend over I'm so sore, BUT I already have a ton more energy.  Pros and cons, I guess.

What the Hubs Thought We'd Do All Day While the Kids are at School

I wrote about what my kids think the Hubs and I do all day while they're at school.  They were sad to find out that I spend most of the day working on the computer and/or doing laundry.

The Hubs was also a bit disappointed when he realized that's what we were going to do all day while the kids were away.  Apparently he had big plans for us.

In addition to our work and laundry duties, here is what the Hubs thought we'd do all day while the kids were at school:

1.  Nooner.  It doesn't necessarily need to transpire at noon.  He's open to mornings as well.

2.  Eat.  He works up an appetite when he's so . . . physical.  He'd like to eat out most days.  Preferably someplace without a kid's menu OR gorge himself on free samples at Costco and/or Sam's Club - ladies' choice.

3.  Nap.  What else is there to do when you've already accomplished 1 and 2 on the list?

The beginning of my transformation

Although many of you have no idea what I look like in real life, I've never been shy about painting a mental picture for you.  By now, you know that I am short and round.  I am small and fluffy.  I am little and squat.  I've always been some variation of petite and plump.

Sometimes I was not OK with that and other times I was.  Several years ago I decided I was OK with me.  I was just fine with who I am and what I look like.  Sure, there are days I wish my ass fit better in my jeans and I wish my boobs didn't hit me in the face whenever I tried to do anything slightly jumpy or runny, but I was fine with me.

Last week I read my friend Kim's post about weight.  I was amazed by how brave she - and her readers - were posting their weights for all the world to see.  I read the post, but I didn't comment.  I may be OK with how I look, but there's no way in hell I'm going to tell people how much I weigh!

Weekly Wrap Up 9.22.212

September is flying by.  I have been working furiously on my book and it looks like it might be ready for October.  Wahoo!!

You might have heard that there's more drama with Feedburner this week.  There are rumors it will be shut down at some point in the near future, but I'm not convinced.  For now mine is working and I am sticking with Feedburner.  If a week goes by and you don't get a new post delivered to you, please go looking for me.  I'm still here, it's just your feed that's jacked up.

I also heard from a couple of people this week asking if they could "link" to me.  I know I seem really mean and scary and you might think I'll bite your head off it you link to me, but it's just the opposite.  I LOVE links.  PLEASE link to me.  You do no need my permission to add me to your blog roll, give me a quote in your newest post, tell your 5 friends about me, etc.  Do not be afraid to spread the word about me.  I will be indebted to you and I will love you forever if you spread me like the plague.

Peaches Geldof

This post was originally written in September 2012. I just read today 4.7.14 that Peaches Geldof died of an overdose. My heart breaks for her children. No one should lose their mother at such a young age.

When I heard about this story last week, I thought to myself, "See, it doesn't matter how much money you have, you can still be a bonehead mother."  In case you don't know Peaches' story, let me bring you up to speed.  Peaches Geldof is semi-famous because she is Bob Geldof's daughter.

She was pushing her baby in London in his pram (i.e., stroller) when she says she hit a pothole or something and the stroller tipped over.  The stroller dumped her unbuckled baby out.  This was horrible, it could happen to any of us, right?  Of course.  

But here's the difference between Peaches and MOST mothers.  When the stroller tipped, Peaches was on her cell phone and she was photographed making every effort to avoid dropping her cell phone and/or ending her phone call WHILE she tried to get her baby off the sidewalk.  Never once did she put the fucking phone down and pick up her baby.  Here are the pics and what I imagined the conversation went like:

Weekly Wrap Up 9.15.12

What a week!  Last week I freaked out and went to Defcon 1 because of the whole scraping thing and then this week I have been plagued by shit not working and so now I'm holding at a solid Defcon 3.

First, GoDaddy got hacked or broke down or whatever their excuse is and that disrupted my service and I was offline and then once I got back on I discovered a problem with Blogger not working properly.  Even though the GoDaddy thing was resolved, lots of readers were still having trouble getting on and then the entire comments section was gone.  I'm sure you've noticed that service has been more than a little spotty and I can say we are working on it.  Well, really, the Hubs is.  I was just curled up in a ball in the corner crying mostly while he patched and fixed and finagled everything to work.  We are still in a precarious position and have no idea when (or if) the problems will be resolved, so we are in the process of making a back up plan.  At the end of the day, Blogger is a free site and I am at their mercy.  I hope they get their shit together, but I have no idea if they will.  There are a lot of other bloggers out there right now who can't do anything to their Blogger site, so I'm one of the lucky ones even with all of my outages.  Thanks for your patience this week.  Hopefully next week will be a better one!

The Hubs Has Become THAT Parent

As you know by now, I am working feverishly on my book.  I am planning to have it ready by the fall so I don't have time for much else right now.  Lucky for me, the Hubs stepped in and offered me a guest post that I really loved.  - Jen

I have a confession to make.  I have become THAT parent.  You know the type.  Loud, obnoxious, screaming at their kid at the soccer field.  Yes, I have become that guy.  If you ever knew me in person, you would understand how unlikely this is.  I am not into sports.  Maybe some table tennis and a competitive game of darts and billiards, but I never played any sort of sport in a competitive team environment.  Sports did not interest me, I guess I was too busy exercising my hand eye coordination killing Space Invaders and trying to topple that angry Donkey Kong. 

Score, score, score

Parents Who Hire Rush Week Consultants

I swear, I'm going to start a business where I consult people on how to stop spending their money on stupid shit for their spoiled and pampered kids.

Today I saw the newest one:  a $300 an hour consultant who advises your daughter about sorority rush week and helps her get into the sorority of her choice.  This consultant offers your daughter sage advice on what to wear and what to say.  I would guess "Be yourself" is not part of her repertoire.

I had really hoped that young women were past all of this bullshit by now.  Instead, it looks like they're raising the bar.  How degrading rush week must be if you feel the need to hire a consultant to tell you how to behave and how to look.  Why would anyone encourage their daughter to participate in that kind of cattle call?  Why would anyone pay for someone to poke holes in their daughter's confidence by telling her you're not good enough, but I can try and make you good enough?

We work so hard on making our daughters confident, independent, free thinkers who people should want to be around (not because they dress a certain way or say the right things) and then we turn around and say "Not so fast, no one is going to like you and accept you into their club unless you have the right accessories with your Lily Pulitzer dress"??  That just doesn't make sense to me.  I don't know if it's just another example of a helicopter parent or an over achiever who wants her daughter to be perfect or a passive parent who can't bear to see precious Arabella not succeed at everything she tries or what.  
I spent $300 an hour and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
It just makes me sick to know that people are spending $300 an hour to get through fucking rush week.  How about telling your daughter to be herself when she rushes and donate $300 to the charity of your choice?  

As I'm sure you've guessed by now, I was never in a sorority.  Shocking, I know.  I attended a small, private liberal arts college where we didn't have sororities or fraternities.  I had many friends at other colleges and universities who rushed and had various outcomes.  I know that not one of them paid $300 an hour for a consultant.  Some of them rushed and made it in and loved every minute and still consider those women to be some of their best friends, others made it in and were miserable, a few others rushed and then were told no one wanted them and a few chose not to rush at all.

My Visit to the 9/11 Memorial

As you know, the Hubs and I went to New York City in August.  The main goal of our trip was for me to attend BlogHer '12, but since we have friends and family there, we decided to go a few days early and see them.

The Hubs was raised in NYC and I lived there for several years.  We moved away in October 2002 and I had not been back since October 2007.

A lot has changed in the city since then.  One of the biggest changes is the 9/11 Memorial.


I really wanted to see the Memorial.  The Memorial is free, but you must reserve passes in advance so that they can control the crowd of people.  I am a terrible planner and I was afraid that if I left it to the last minute I wouldn't be able to get tickets.

Weekly Wrap Up 9.7.12

This week I freaked out a bit and went to Defcon 1 when I got wind of someone scraping my site for content.  I appreciate all you who rode the Crazy Train with me for a day or two while I got that figured out.  I'm back to Defcon 5 and all is well with your RSS feeds if you're on Google Reader or another legitimate feed.  No need for passwords, etc. at this time.  Carry on.  If you're not reading this on a legitimate feed it is probably stolen, so please do me a favor and come to my site and read me there or sign up to receive the blog in your inbox every time there is a new post.  As a side note, if you want to see if anyone is taking your content you can find out at www.copyscape.com.

The good news is, I am done decorating my mom's house.  Woohoo!  I am wrapping up my book as we speak and I am planning to have it ready in the fall!

Top Read Posts This Week:

Honey Boo Boo Child - I heard from several of you that I was a tad harsh and I didn't mention the "love" this family exhibits for one another.  I never said they didn't love each other or didn't "own" their behavior.  All I said was that I wished the country would put the remote down and stop watching this shit while we're trying to elect a President.  There are more important things on TV right now than watching this family fart and scratch their bugs.  I was told that if you combine ALL the numbers from the various networks the conventions were shown on, they handily beat Honey Boo Boo's show.  Thank goodness!  I just hope Mama and Sugar Bear are in on the joke and are laughing all the way to the bank and not being exploited.  I was against this show, but today I read that Kris Jenner feels threatened by June and her brood of mud-dwellers.  This made me reconsider.  I would watch Honey Boo Boo any day over those asshole Kardashians, so if that's what it takes to topple that megalomaniac's empire, I'm in.  I'll be Honey Boo Boo's biggest fan (just not during the debates).

This post was featured on Huffington Post.  Thanks, HP.

Honey Boo Boo Child


A few months ago I wrote about "Toddlers & Tiaras" and now I am back again on this topic.

There is a new TLC hit show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo."  WTF, TLC?  Just when I thought TLC couldn't sink any lower, they have shown us that they can.  In case you haven't heard of this show, let me enlighten you.  Basically, TLC created the horrible "Toddlers & Tiaras" and opened the world's eyes to the train wreck that is children's beauty pageants.  TLC was lucky enough to have a break out star, Honey Boo Boo, whose whole claim to fame is that her whole family look like extras from "Deliverance."  On T&T Honey Boo Boo was a tyrant who swilled her Go Go Juice (some high energy concoction) right before she hit the stage so she could wow the judges with her moves and her spray tanned belly.  The language that they speak (I've been told that it's English) is so garbled and fucked up they need subtitles just so you can understand when Honey Boo Boo's pregnant sister tells the world she needs to go to the hospital because her "biscuit" hurts or Honey Boo Boo tells you "A dollar makes me holler."  It sounds like something a stripper would say.  After realizing the Hillbilly Gold they had, TLC offered Honey Boo Boo and her family a reality show.  The show beat the Republican National Convention in the ratings and it is assumed it will also beat the Democratic National Convention.  I realize it's a lot to ask, but just once every 4 years couldn't we stop watching the shit on TLC and watch the shit at the national conventions?  I realize it would be more fun if Mitt Romney said, "A dollar ain't worth a holler - make it two and I'll think about it" or if Barack Obama said, "I want to protect women's biscuit rights."  One of Honey Boo Boo's one liners could make the perfect election slogan for either party:  "When you're a champion, you're still a winner."

The only positive thing I can say about this show is that I read yesterday the family is making around $10,000 an episode.  I just hope they're putting that money in a college fund for their girls.  Who are we kidding?  It's going straight to wigs, Mountain Dew, chicken nuggets and spray tans.


RSS FEEDS

If you read my blog through an RSS Feed, please e-mail me for a password.  Apparently my site is being scraped and copied and I think this might be the only way for me to slow it down.

I would really love it if I can shut down my RSS feed all together, but it seems like many of you readers use it.  I'm trying to get an accurate count of how many people actually use the feed.  If you subscribe, please leave me a message in the comments so I can track.

Facebook and Twitter will all be the same and access to my site is the same as well.  Please follow me on either one because that is the best way to stay up to date with what is going on.

Thanks for being patient while I try to protect my content and figure this shit out.

Send me an e-mail at [email protected] and let me know which reader you use and I'll give you the password.

JEN

Weekly Wrap Up 8.31.12

This week I was a bit MIA.  Remember last week I told you that I've been decorating my mom's house for a top secret project?  Well, let's just say we've put close to 80 man hours in and we're still not finished yet.  On top of that, I've been working hard on my book.  I've given myself a deadline and I'm going to kill myself to meet it.  So, I'll be a little MIA here and there from now until the book is done, but be patient with me, the end result will be well worth it.  I promise.

Why My Children Have No Right to Privacy

My friend Kim at Let Me Start By Saying wrote an essay that was featured on the Huffington Post . It was about reading her five-year-old...