Although many of you have no idea what I look like in real life, I've never been shy about painting a mental picture for you. By now, you know that I am short and round. I am small and fluffy. I am little and squat. I've always been some variation of petite and plump.
Sometimes I was not OK with that and other times I was. Several years ago I decided I was OK with me. I was just fine with who I am and what I look like. Sure, there are days I wish my ass fit better in my jeans and I wish my boobs didn't hit me in the face whenever I tried to do anything slightly jumpy or runny, but I was fine with me.
Last week I read my friend Kim's post about weight. I was amazed by how brave she - and her readers - were posting their weights for all the world to see. I read the post, but I didn't comment. I may be OK with how I look, but there's no way in hell I'm going to tell people how much I weigh!
Her post got me thinking. Her post was about women getting hung up on the numbers. Yes, I have an issue with my number, but frankly, I will never in a million years weigh 105 lbs so I try not to get hung up on my number.
Really, the number doesn't bother me as much as how I feel.
I hit 40 this year and it's like I've suddenly become a creaky old house (thank God no leaky plumbing yet). I am stiff and sore all the time. I actually got a pain in my ass from sitting too much. WTF!?
I have little kids. Gomer is 7 and Adolpha is 5. I worry about their health all the time. I make sure they eat fairly healthy food and get plenty of exercise every day. I put them to bed early every night so they get lots of sleep. I make them brush and floss their teeth twice a day. I take them to the doctor every year.
What do I do for me? What do I do to make me feel better? Not a whole lot, really.
Today I was given the opportunity to work with a personal trainer one on one at Starting Line Fitness. Her name is Kris. At first I wasn't sure I wanted to do that. I had no desire to have some ultra-fit chick yell at me and tell me that I'm a slug. I met with Kris thinking I'd try it once and then I'd go get breakfast.
Kris is not a yeller - at least not yet - and she never once called me a slug. So far, so good. She is ultra fit, though. Of course she is. Only stupid people would hire someone who looked like me to be their personal trainer.
The first thing we talked about were my goals. "Why do you want a personal trainer?" she asked. I don't, I wanted to say. But instead I really thought about some goals that I could actually accomplish:
1. Lose a little weight. Like I said before, I'll never weigh 105 (I think that was my birth weight), but if I could lose 20 lbs I'd feel like Miss America.
2. Get stronger. I don't carry 30 lbs babies around anymore and every day I feel weaker and weaker. At this rate I won't be able to carry a bag of groceries when I'm 60!
3. Flexibility. I've never been able to do the splits, but I can't even touch my toes anymore.
4. Lose a couple of inches. Don't we all love the feeling when our pants are a bit looser?
Kris, looked at my list of goals and said, "Great! Let's get started!"
I took a deep breath and off we went . . .
This will be an ongoing series on the blog. Thanks to Kris and Starting Line Fitness in Leawood, KS I'm going to work out twice a week and I'll be writing all about it. At least now I can say my workout clothes have actually been to a workout!