People I Want to Punch in the Throat: The beginning of my transformation

FB

The beginning of my transformation

Although many of you have no idea what I look like in real life, I've never been shy about painting a mental picture for you.  By now, you know that I am short and round.  I am small and fluffy.  I am little and squat.  I've always been some variation of petite and plump.

Sometimes I was not OK with that and other times I was.  Several years ago I decided I was OK with me.  I was just fine with who I am and what I look like.  Sure, there are days I wish my ass fit better in my jeans and I wish my boobs didn't hit me in the face whenever I tried to do anything slightly jumpy or runny, but I was fine with me.

Last week I read my friend Kim's post about weight.  I was amazed by how brave she - and her readers - were posting their weights for all the world to see.  I read the post, but I didn't comment.  I may be OK with how I look, but there's no way in hell I'm going to tell people how much I weigh!


Her post got me thinking.  Her post was about women getting hung up on the numbers.  Yes, I have an issue with my number, but frankly, I will never in a million years weigh 105 lbs so I try not to get hung up on my number.

Really, the number doesn't bother me as much as how I feel.

I hit 40 this year and it's like I've suddenly become a creaky old house (thank God no leaky plumbing yet).  I am stiff and sore all the time.  I actually got a pain in my ass from sitting too much.  WTF!?

I have little kids.  Gomer is 7 and Adolpha is 5.  I worry about their health all the time.  I make sure they eat fairly healthy food and get plenty of exercise every day.  I put them to bed early every night so they get lots of sleep.  I make them brush and floss their teeth twice a day.  I take them to the doctor every year.

What do I do for me?  What do I do to make me feel better?  Not a whole lot, really.

Today I was given the opportunity to work with a personal trainer one on one at Starting Line Fitness.  Her name is Kris.  At first I wasn't sure I wanted to do that.  I had no desire to have some ultra-fit chick yell at me and tell me that I'm a slug.  I met with Kris thinking I'd try it once and then I'd go get breakfast.


Kris is not a yeller - at least not yet - and she never once called me a slug.  So far, so good.  She is ultra fit, though.  Of course she is.  Only stupid people would hire someone who looked like me to be their personal trainer.

The first thing we talked about were my goals.  "Why do you want a personal trainer?" she asked.  I don't, I wanted to say.  But instead I really thought about some goals that I could actually accomplish:

1. Lose a little weight.  Like I said before, I'll never weigh 105 (I think that was my birth weight), but if I could lose 20 lbs I'd feel like Miss America.

2.  Get stronger.  I don't carry 30 lbs babies around anymore and every day I feel weaker and weaker.  At this rate I won't be able to carry a bag of groceries when I'm 60!

3.  Flexibility.  I've never been able to do the splits, but I can't even touch my toes anymore.

4.  Lose a couple of inches.  Don't we all love the feeling when our pants are a bit looser?

Kris, looked at my list of goals and said, "Great!  Let's get started!"

I took a deep breath and off we went . . .


This will be an ongoing series on the blog.  Thanks to Kris and Starting Line Fitness in Leawood, KS I'm going to work out twice a week and I'll be writing all about it.  At least now I can say my workout clothes have actually been to a workout!


45 comments:

Richelle.T said...

I have started a similar transformation (i have lost about 20 lbs since january) and i have to say my energy and strength have been so greatly improved! It is so important that you take care of yourself, you deserve to feel great about yourself, you deserve to look hot in those jeans, and you deserve to feel like Ms. America. You can do it! :)

The Macons said...

Awesome for you! Can't wait to follow along!

NancyK said...

Good for you! I am on the fluffy and round, ok maybe more pear side. I took it upon myself to get my arse off the couch and start the couch to 5K program and am now working the 5k to 10k program. Can I run all the time, no. But it's a start and I'll take it. I am proud to say that I ran/briskly walked the Warrior Dash 5k obstacle course this past Saturday. I did not make all the obstacles but now I have a goal for next year. I may never be as skinny as my 20s when I thought I was huge (idiot me!)...but I will try to be as healthy as I can for my 3 boys. All the best to you Jen...you can do it!

Sue said...

Good for you! I lost 45 lbs 3 years ago (which was a year long process in itself), gained a bit back and then lost an extra 5 within the last year. I'm not a stick. I still have to wear a VERY supportive bra. But I don't stress about it. I exercise for my life, not my dress size.

Mrs. Foster said...

That is Wonderful!! I can relate to most of what you posted, though I am turning 30 this year and don't have kids yet but I'm scared of having a hard pregnancy for me or my kids because of my weight. I'm short ( round up to 5'1") and lets just say if I lost 30 pounds I'd be close to my 200 weight from my wedding last year. I think I'll set these goals for myself now and perhaps expand them because you've inspired me. Sure I can pin all these workout things on pinterest but if I don't use them whats the point. I live in good ole Salina KS and we don't have the greatest of facilities for a trainer but I CAN get off the recliner and go off on a walk, or start going back to that kickboxing class I did pre wedding.

Thanks for this post and I wish the best for you.

Rebecca , The_Nerds_Wife

Mexmom said...

That is very good, looking forward to the updates

Kayla Arnolts said...

jen, thank you for committing to a two times a week exercise routine. i am incredibly discouraged when i read my people magazine and they say that pink is working out 4 hours a day, 5 days a week. i'm a real person, not a music bitch, so there's no way i have time for that shit. i can't wait to hear how you do. good luck and good for you, getting started at all!!! maybe someday soon i can say the same for myself...

Coach Petrina said...

Awesomeness! The first step is the hardest (and you'll find this repeats each day as you start each workout). I started out my own journey over 8 years ago. I was a 240 pound single mom to a 5 year old boy, tired, unhappy, lonely and living on fast food and Pepsi. I'm now 110 pounds lighter and hopefully a wee bit wiser. I want to be an active Grandma someday- this is what helps keep me on the mostly straight & narrow path when it comes to maintaining the weight loss! I look forward to reading your updates!

Anonymous said...

You go Mama - have fun! You'll find your place with what works for you as far as the whole gym experience. I an on again off again with it; but I do always notice that it makes my mind feel really good - clear - when I go regularly; thus, I keep getting back to it after a hiatus.

Monika said...

This is great! I lost about 60lbs last year and I'm well on my way to gaining it back this year (gained about 30 of it back). No more. I've been eating like crap and despite exercising regularly I just feel "eh." I want to feel great again. Like you. I think this is a great goal!!

Wendy Wainwright said...

Good luck! I find it incredibly difficult to motivate to get any exercise and I know it's SO unhealthy.

Deb said...

Exercise is my therapy. I am back up to ~9 workouts weeks and I feel great. Energy, stress relief, time alone, better sleep, strength, mental clarity. Oh, and I look pretty damn hot too! It's hard to find the time(i.e. motivation) when you start out, but if you can stick with it, you'll get addicted. It takes a while, but your body will be transformed too. My weights stays constant, but the distribution of it doesn't.

Melissa L said...

What a timely post. I was just lamenting on the way to work today that I am too fluffy. Some how, turning 40 this summer has turned me into an old, feeble bitty. But mostly, sitting on my ass for work all day, followed by sitting on my ass blogging and crafting in my "time off" has made me feel HORRIBLE. Like Betty White could DEFINITELY kick my ass! I'm amazed at what I can't do that I should be able to. A personal trainer isn't in the current budget, but I think I can find the strength to kick myself in the ass and make it better!
Good luck to you on your journey too! Can't wait to hear how it goes for you. :)
~Melissa
www.mywatermelonmoon.com

Domestic Goddess said...

SO proud of you - and having seen you, known you, and laughed with you in person - I can say, you are incredibly beautiful on the outside and the inside - so anything you do is just going to make you healthier. Love you girl..xo

melissa said...

Wait! You don't have leaky pipes? No fair, after pushing 3 watermelons out the vag, I gotta stop and think before I sneeze. Seriously though, good for you! Last May I decided to do the C25K with the goal of being able to run for 30 minutes and I can now. Goal accomplished but I did not lose any weight in the process (other issues...) but I feel good. And I love that I can tell my kids I exercise and lead by example. I already harp on the amount of sugar they eat (while I scarf down candy like no tomorrow) so at least now I can not be a hypocrite about exercise.

Kim at Let Me Start By Saying said...

You just made my day. Knowing that my words resonated with someone I care about touches me. It really means something, and I am at a loss for words. Other than: Thank you. For both of us. xo

Caroline said...

Nice! I can't wait to read about your progress. I was the last person in America to get a smart phone and the first thing I searched for was a fitness/diet app. I've been using Noom for 4 weeks and have lost 4 of the 25 lbs I've been wanting to lose.

Nicole Shaw said...

Rock the hell on.

Anonymous said...

I think that is so awesome! I have been trying to lose weight and get healthier myself. I have those flabby underarms that are oh so attractive. I have a whole closet full of clothes that I could wear, but can't fit into right now. I just want to be able to wear those clothes again. My job has an exercise room and showers in the bathroom, so I have been working out a couple of times a week. It is hard to try and eat better since I can't live without cheese!! Ha. I'm so glad that you will keep us posted on this. It will help me stay motivated too. Thank you & good for you!

Sammy said...

Get after it mama! I've been writing about my exercise trials and tribulations for about 9 months now. Starting with running and now I am doing Pilates. The trick is to simply show up.

Like you, I hit 40 and realized that what ever is normal in my house is what my little cognitive aliens (aka the kids) grow up thinking is normal. If it's 6 hours a day of tv and a bag of chips, that's normal. . . If it's that mommy joins a running club and takes care of herself, that is normal for us too. I get to pick.

Have fun!

http://www.mtparent.com/index.php/home/mommy-on-a-mission-pilates-week-one.html

medicmom said...

I am completely in love with the post. I am getting really, REALLY close to 30. I work a very physically and emotionally demanding job. I could tell that after baby # 2 that I was becoming a very fat, slow, weak slug as well. I know you are not a fan of running but I started the Couch to 5 K program and feel amazing. The hubby says I'm losing inches. I'm just glad the weight gain has stopped. And I look forward to running now.

JD HonestMom said...

Rock ON, lady! This is great. I am so psyched for you.

What you wrote about being on top of our kids' health but not our own really resonated with me. Why don't I take enough time for me to be healthy? It's definitely something to think about (and something I, too, will be blogging about in a series of posts on health and wellness in the next few months).

Anyway - YAY, YOU!

robyn said...

My workout clothes are so proud of your workout clothes!

Stumbling Towards Perfect said...

I turned 39 this year and I feel ... well, old. Not mentally --- but my body... it's like... OLD. And so I went to see a dietician today. And she said I had to eat better and work out. And I knew that, of course. I'm making my body old by not using it. But I haven't used it for so long that I'm kind of scared to start. You know? But then I saw that you started... and maybe I can start, too. I'm so glad I saw this. So, very, incredibly glad I saw this.

Jods said...

Take care of you too! I didn't and I suffered a massive heart attack last year at 42. Exercise is one of the best things you can do! All of you ladies that take care of kids and not you....I wish I could tell you how important your health is too!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations, Jen. You will find that you have more energy and maybe even a better mood. I can't imagine what you will be like even funnier! I've only lost 8 pounds in about 3 months but my clothes fit differently, my migraines are less frequent (September has been rough but overall), my mood has been better, I have been happier, I've slept better, and I'm funnier too.

Good luck to you! Can't wait to celebrate your progress with you.

Single Lady
www.singlebutnotbitter.blogspot.com

Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms said...

From one creaky 40-ish year old to another, You go! Ellen

Momma said...

38-30-40 seem to be the ages for making change. At least it was for me. Just turned 40 and I now work-out. I just wrote about it in my blog. Jen you and I are meant to be! lol Good luck sister! Just keep at it. And good luck! I am looking forward to the blogs!

Teri Biebel said...

You'll kick ass, Jen. Good luck and we're all pulling for you!

Teri
Snarkfest

Anonymous said...

You can do it! Hubby and I have been on Weight Watchers since January and gotten into running routines (he for a marathon, me for a 5K) and while I've lost 20 pounds, he's lost 90-freaking-7 pounds. So I know that a body transformation is possible and I know that it can be hard.

But if he and I can do it, you can too!!!!

Dan in Dallas said...

Way to go Jen!! Jennifer and I are trying to accomplish the same things.

Oh...great seeing you guys last week. Let's not make it so long next time :-)

jennifer930 said...

Best of luck!!! You can do it.

Luke said...

Next up: sprint distance triathlon :)

Kristin said...

You go, Jen! When I hit the big 4-0 almost nine years ago, I realized I had gotten "shlumpy" and had gained some weight I just couldn't seem to take off! I was at a luncheon with a bunch of women who were all discussing keeping fit and they all looked much more fit than me! When I asked, they all admitted, that yes, they did exercise in order to keep looking that way. At that moment, I knew that if I wanted to stay healthy looking and fit (read: not skinny, just fit), I was going to have to work for it. At first, it felt like a chore and I thought to myself, "Oh my gosh, am I going to have to do this for the rest of my life?" Now, it has become a joy and a way to work off stress, get an endorphin high and just plain feel good about myself! I am strong, I am healthy and I am fit. Do I weigh 105 lbs? No, and I never did and don't want to. I'm not embarrassed to tell you I am 5'4" and weigh in the low 140s. Some of my friends my height weigh less, but a lot of the difference in people the same height as you is bone structure and body build. I don't get hyped up on numbers.As long as my clothes fit well and I look and feel healthy, I'm good! Find exercise you enjoy. For me, it's classes set to music. I love to Zumba and Spin. At home, I walk the dog with my husband daily. Good luck Jen! I'll be rooting you on!

Kim said...

Just wait until you're 50 -- talk about creaky! I have lost and kept off over 60 pounds. In the process, I had to have a knee replacement. So, here I am. Pushing 50, with a total knee replacement, but I LOOK marvelous!

Murph said...

Good for you!
Please don't punch Kris in the throat... no matter what she want you to do.

Erin S said...

Good luck! I started working with a trainer almost 2 years ago and it was the best health decision I ever made. A good trainer knows how to push you without having you lose your motivation.

TNMom said...

WOOO HOOO!!! Just when I thought I couldn't love you any more, now you're really speaking my language!! I am so freaking proud of you, girl, no shit! I was one of the ones that commented on Kim's post with my weight (gasp!), it was tough, but motivating. I am so proud of you for putting this out there, accountability is a great motivator! I am trained by a trainer twice a week too, and I often want to cancel (I dread it sometimes), but I don't and then when I am done I feel AH-MAY-ZING! Which is ultimately why I don't cancel the next time. I am so excited for you to just get healthy, fuck that scale, just feel like a better you - FOR YOU! Love! Devan

SouthMainMuse said...

You are going to love working out regularly. You think you feel creaky on the edge of 40. Try being under a year from 50. (Talk about typing numbers...ugh). I always ran for vanity and sanity but I hurt my knee about a year and a half ago and I really messed with my head -- not being able to run like I used to. I found a trainer who was 53. She is awesome and just what I needed. Someone going through change of life who looks phenomenal and really cares about my emotional health as much as physical. I'd never done strength training before and I love our weekly workouts. Talk about stress relief. You might not want to punch as many people in the throat with regular sessions. But I have faith in your talent as a writer to not let it affect your column. Look forward to reading your thoughts and progress on this journey.

Erica Gutowski said...

Mrs. Foster, I am in a similar situation. 5'2", over 200 and pinning workout and fitness info while I sit on the couch at night. Aggghhh. Must stop it and get motivated. No more excuses. I think I'd be successful with a trainer (I like having someone besides me hold me accountable) but I really can't afford one. I'm going to follow PITPITT through this and try and get myself moving again.

Kathryn said...

It will be hard at first but I just know if you stick with it you will love it! You will feel so much better all around and soon you won't be able to imagine life without some kind of physical activity.

Yeah I know that sounds crazy, but it is exactly what happened to me.

Good luck and ENJOY IT!

Wordchazer said...

You go gal!

I'm walking this weekend, starting my winter fitness regime that sees me walking at least 3.5 miles a day at the weekends. My supporters on my calorie counting site have given me 20 likes to enable me to complete 200 minutes of walking this weekend. That'll be around 100 minutes a day, I think, so once around the village service road plus a half again. I have a top speed of 4.2mph when fully fit but I am not that right now!

Really looking forward to following this series. Thanks for posting!

Anonymous said...

Yes, turning 40 sucked (while turning 30 was GREAT!). It has been downhill big time ever since (I just turned 47). I swear everything is going and fast - eyesight, knees, hips, hormones, hair, weight... you name it - it's going going... And it is so much more difficult to fix this stuff now. NO FUN. I have started back on a workout regime (I did like my time with a personal trainer but I am a cheapskate and can't keep a regular schedule) which is making me feel better in a way but tired since I'm trying to fit it in between taking care of a 3 and a 5 year old, working a full time job (with travel) and hormone-induced insomnia so it is also making me exhausted. And so it goes...

Kristi said...

Yay you!! I am 41 and have lost 35 pounds over the past two years. It has been the hardest and best thing I have ever done. Go big, Jen!!!

Toulouse said...

I just love the term "doing the splits." Thanks for the laugh, and best of luck with the fitness regimen. Argh. It's just so hard to feel good, isn't it?