People I Want to Punch in the Throat: The Things MY Kids Think We Do While They're at School

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The Things MY Kids Think We Do While They're at School


My kids have been in school for a little over two weeks.  They love school.  They can't wait to see their friends, they thrive when they have a routine and they adore their teachers.  I love that they love school, because it makes my job so much easier that I don't have to fight them out the door every morning and they're happy when they get home every afternoon.

HOWEVER, my kids are certain - absolutely certain - that as much as they loooove school, they are missing some good stuff at home.  They are positive that the Hubs and I are having a ton of fun without them.

Here is what they think we're doing all day while they're at school:

1.  Play with Legos.  Gomer is sure that the Hubs and I are sitting around his Lego table making fantastic creations.  (Not to worry, Gomer.  I HATE Legos.  Always have, always will.  This is something he built and it fell apart when I was moving it to photograph it and I couldn't even figure out how to put it back together.  Now he won't believe me that I don't play with his Legos all day.)  



2.  Have tea parties.  Adolpha worries that we're using her tea set for our private parties.



3.  Play Xbox.  Gomer is afraid we might unlock new levels that he didn't even know existed.  (I must admit, we do play the Xbox sometimes.  There are some games the Hubs and I enjoy playing that are either inappropriate for the kids or we don't want to share our "Fruit Ninja" time with them.)

4.  Go to the park.  Adolpha wonders if we ever hit the swings without her.  (I'm not a fan of the park with the kids, I can guarantee you'll never find me there without the kids.  Plus, how creepy would we look hanging out near the slide waiting for our turn behind a line of toddlers?)

5.  Soak in a bubble bath.  Adolpha loves a good soak and she can smell the remnants of a bubble bath like a bloodhound.  She comes home sniffing my bathroom to see if I took some time out for a soak.  (I probably should have a bath during the day, because I can never have one alone when she's home, because as soon as she smells that heavenly scent of lavender or vanilla, she is stripping down and joining me.)

6.  Go to McDonald's for lunch.  They are both concerned that we head to Mickey D's every day for a Happy Meal and some time in the giant hamster run.

7.  Sit around in our pajamas all day and watch cartoons.  Gomer is certain that since I once loved watching "Scooby Doo" I must still love that silly dog.  (I do work best in my pjs, but cartoons give me a headache.  So they're half right on this one.)

8.  Hit the pool.  The pool officially closes today so I can finally stop saying, "No, Daddy and I aren't going to the pool every day while you're at school."

9.  Stroll through the toy aisles of Target and Wal-Mart.  Am I the only one who can't take the kids into either of these stores without someone begging to walk up and down the toy aisles??  It's actually nice to run in while they're at school and NOT hit the toy aisle.

10.  Dress up Puppy in doll clothes.  Adolpha is afraid that while she's at school we're forcing her (stuffed) dog into doll clothes.  (I actually had fun dressing Puppy for this picture.  I see why she enjoys this so much.)


What about your kids?  What do they think you do while they're at school all day?

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60 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOVES it! I did a post recently regarding the same subject!

http://www.tonyajibbenphotography.com/?p=1623

Amy Oren said...

My son thinks my husband and I take his little sister out to lunch. I wonder if it has something to do with the plastic logo-bearing kids cup sitting on the counter that mommy forgets to put in the outside trash before he gets home. Oops. He caught us.

JennInAustin said...

I have no idea what my kids think I do. But I guess I spent too many years at a crummy job (at a better one now) b/c they usually ask me all worried-like: Was your day ok, mom?

Hmmmm. Or maybe it's just that I'm too honest and when I have a crummy day I don't lie about it. So maybe they have a realistic vision! I have no idea....

bluenotebacker said...

My 9yo daughter knows I'm at the office during the day while she's at school, but she seems to think it's some magical playland and is constantly asking me when Take Your Daughter to Work day will be. I've tried to explain how soul-crushingly boring it would be for her there, but she's convinced I'm lying to keep her away from all you can eat candy and donuts.

melissa said...

This is funny because my daughter just today said, "mommy I don't want you to get a real job, I like you to buy me dresses all the time". I start my new job on Friday, but it's just one day a week for now. I guess she doesn't get that now I can buy he even more dresses!

Katie Fritzsche said...

My 17year old STILL gets bent if dad and I enjoy a meal out without her. "you ALWAYS eat out without me" uh, yeah, its cheaper that way... Duh!

Sarah said...

I'm going to sound about 6 years old but I still think people are having way more fun than I am when I'm at work!
Maybe I'm the only one but to this day I still feel like I'm playing hooky when I'm not in my office in during working hours!

JenGo said...

Curious so I just asked my 4 yr old, who started Pre-K last week. He said "clean, watch your show and cook.". He then proceeded to ask what I cook, clean and watch. Haha

Janna N said...

I'm a pathologist and so spend my days looking at glass slides through a microscope. My older daughter (then 3) overheard me talking about slides, and was convinced for some time that I was a playground slide inspector.

Kelly and Sne said...

Yes, my kids think that work is a lot more interesting and fun than it really is. My son is surprised when I tell him that Mommy didn't get a nap today at the office.

Christeena96 said...

My kids think I am going to eat all the ice cream.

Jessica said...

This is pretty much what I thought my parent's did all day when I was in school.

Amy Grace said...

Your list is pretty cute, goes to show that you are a really good Mom that does all of that stuff with them... they just think that you continue the fun without them!
My kids say that all I do is watch the news, drink coffee & knit.
They pretty much have it right since my littlest one is only in school 3 mornings per week :)

Steph said...

My kids are pretty sure I am eating ice cream and watching movies all day. They know I am at the office but on the few occasions I have brought them, I bring a DVD player and treat them to ice cream if they are good, so of course, that is what Mommy does for work! I'm not sure I want to know what they tell their teacher I do.

Robbie said...

lol...I always check the car before I go pick up my daughter to make sure I don't have any evidence of a fast food visit.

sheshe said...

My husband told his kindergarten teacher that my MIL sat around all day eating bon-bons and watching her stories. She was actually working at the time. Hilarious. I can't wait to see what my son thinks when he gets older since I telecommute.

Julie said...

My 3-year old is convinced that a day in my office is much more exciting than a day at preschool. The other two are so over that now!

I've finally caved and allow the 3 boys to peruse the toy section of Target while I get my shopping done in peace. However, they know that if they don't show up the first time I call them, I WILL roam the aisles of Target moaning their names and crying that I can't find them. Once was enough for them :)

Anonymous said...

My 5 year old thinks I sit in the school parking lot just waiting for him.

Anonymous said...

You are so not alone in this! I feel the same way. As I was reading this, I was thinking about how there's still something magical to me about being somewhere other than work or school between the hours of 8 and 5. I hope I never get over it :)

lovetoread600 said...

We definitely take the youngest out to lunch with us. It makes the older two kids crazy!!

My kids think I watch Dr. Phil all day even though I've never seen his show. What I actually do is catch up on all the TV shows that are inappropriate for children. Like "Weeds" and "Curb Your Enthusiasm".

Anonymous said...

Mine think I eat fabulous food and watch tv. Well we don't have a maid, chef or anything great on the boob tube. I clean up after everyone in this house and it takes a good part of the day to unfuck everything. I told my husband the reason old woman are hunched over is because they have been picking up after everyone for most of their lives. Hint hint! Pick up your shit!

Sarah said...

haha I'm glad I'm not the only one! It makes taking afternoons off like a mini vacation!

Tabitha said...

My son thinks that I eat all of the "good snacks" while he is at school so that when he gets home he can't have anything. The one thing that he fails to notice is that Mommy don't buy "good snacks". Good snacks are cookies, candy, ice creams, etc...

Sue Diamond-Phillips said...

Hilarious!! Mine always think things like this too - i have even been accused of messing up their bedrooms.

Mama Moo said...

Lol, and depending on the child's mood often more pleasant! Heaven forbid we enjoy ourselves without them! :)

BMC0229 said...

Ditto here....My daughter thinks the same thing!!!

Brett Minor said...

My daughter is in high school and thinks that I don't do anything. I have a job where I work at home, so she thinks people just send me money for nothing. If SHE can't see the product of my days work, then it doesn't exist.

Mexmom said...

My son knows I am at work but he usually inspects my car and purse for candy wrappers or junk food, he even found a movie ticket once and asked me if I had gone without him, of course I had because it was the midnight premier of Batman and he was already sleep safe and sound with my parents of course. But I still lied and thrown them away, well little did I know that he found them in the garbage and read the name of the movie.
I guess he will make a pretty good detective one day.

Sassy STS said...

I see that you don't deny going to Mickey D's and eating happy meals whilst climbing in the play area. They might be on to something! ;)

Murph said...

What a great post!

Anonymous said...

This was a good one today!
One day a few months back the daycare lady took a day off. I used a vacation day but brought my youngest in for a food day my office was having because someone was leaving. He sat at my desk with me and got to sample everything the department brought in. Now he asks all the time when he can come back! Like we sit around and eat chocolate cake every day!

Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous said...

I can understand your not liking Lego. I never understood why they were so popular! They're not even pretty colours!

Kp said...

I would totally take a day where I scatter "evidence" around the house: beach towels, leggos, a random tea cup, a happy meal box, and just watch them wig out when they got home.

Anonymous said...

My 3 year old knows that I am a teacher for "big kids" (middle school). She used to ask to go to work with her and I would explain that she couldnt because my school was for big kids. I had noticed that she quit asking. Then a few mornings later, she saw me loading stuff in my car to take to school. She said "your kids are big.". Then she went "your kids are bad!". I guess she overheard about a bad day and decided going to work with Mommy was no longer fun!

lorihokie said...

My 5 year old hasn't broached this subject yet, but since she sees me run ragged taking care of her twin sisters every day, she probably has a very clear idea of what I do while she's at school. Today I cleaned up the paint mess from one of the twins who escaped during nap time.
http://lorihokie.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-pitter-patter-of-little-feet.html

Ginny Place said...

I will have to ask my kid tomorrow. I'm sure she's got some bizarre idea that I'm spending the whole time in the grocery store or playing choo choos with her brother.

Anonymous said...

For awhile my son would DEMAND that I play with his toys while he was at school. He would set out legos or action figures and check when he came home to make sure I had followed orders.

Ali said...

I think my self-absorbed kids think that I cease to exist when they can't see me.

Anonymous said...

My 3-ye-old is sure I play with the baby all day!

Darla Wittinger said...

This would be awesome. I second this. When they freak and say that you're having fun without them, tell them the Elf did it.

Nancy said...

My 6 yr. old daughter told me she is sure that I sleep all day. I may have to give that one a try.

Nancy said...

LOL!

Susan said...

My then 4yo son told his preschool teacher "she drinks" when she asked him what he thought mom did while he was at school. She then suspiciously sniffed my breath as I stuttered and said, "Kids say the darnedest things..."

macksmommy2004 said...

My daughter doesn't worry what I'm doing while she is at school because I am at WORK!

frugalistablog said...

My son has told my mother in law that I nap all day long. WTF? As if? I only nap SOME of the day!

[email protected] said...

My 2yo told his daycare teachers that "Daddy's at work, Mommy's at home". Umm....son, Mommy's at work, too!

When I was young, my mom's favorite line was "What do you think I do, sit around eating bon bons all day?"

Dana said...

Sad part is? My kids DO love coming to my crushingly boring office, I've taken them a few times. They think decorating my cubicle with pictures and drawings is the best thing since sliced bread. Say what??? LOL.

Anonymous said...

Haha...I spend a good part of my day attempting to unfuck everything as well! I've just never expressed it so eloquently!

Shannon Marie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shannon Marie said...

When my son was 7(ish) I stayed home from my regular office job one day to do some serious fall cleaning and organizing. So now when he's gone overnight or for a weekend all he thinks I do is clean!

daye1967 said...

What a great description of my children. Must ask them if this is true.

Anonymous said...

I have every other Friday off and I love it! I feel like it's a TREAT and I love to tell people that I'M OFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!! (childish I know but so what!)

Single Lady
www.singlebutnotbitter.blogspot.com

Meredith Gordon said...

Whenever my son leaves for school, he always closes his door so "No one will touch his Playmobil Knight Set." I'm fairly certain even if he left the door open, his toys would be safe.
xo
Meredith

Madiesmomma said...

Ha u had my attention at people I want to punch in the throat!!! This is a running joke between my husband & I. The article is hilarious. Im plan on asking my 5 year old what she thinks her dad & I do!!

Lisa Witherspoon said...

Mine think I "play" on the computer all day. In all fairness, I do spend a good amount of time on social media and blogging, but I do a few there things as well. :-)

Christine Max said...

I don't have kids at home (thank goodness) but all my kids at daycare think I live here and just sit around all night waiting for them to come back. Sometimes they ask if the teachers get lonely at night with no kids. Ah nope! Not really lol.

Mosaicwench said...

My kid told his friends that I drink coffee and read my "dangerous book" while he's gone. Where in the hell did that come from? He's 22 now, so this was wayyyyyy before 50 Shades of Gray . . . .

Debbie said...

I've got an almost 21 year old at home and she's the exact same way!! I keep telling her that if she wants to go out to eat with us so much, maybe she needs to offer to buy...that stops her in her tracks!!! hee hee

Jessica said...

My kids think the copier room is the "art room" and enjoy making projects with copier paper, scissors, highlighters, envelopes, etc. Go figure...

Cherri Northcutt said...

My 16 year old daughter thinks I read blogs all day, joke around with my co-workers and avoid doing any real work. Ooops - she nailed it.