Friends Are Hard to Find - Part 2 - My friend Sandy tried to arrange a playdate for her daughter Olive with a classmate, Drusilla. This one got some fiery comments. Let me explain a few things: this happened face to face, so there was no way for Sandy to "hang up" the phone on her. Sandy didn't walk away from her, because she was trying to find Olive a friend and this woman was being uncooperative. Sandy is THE nicest person I know (she actually barely reads this blog, because she thinks I'm a "little mean" on here - no offense, Jen) and she was trying to HELP Drusilla's mom come up with a solution. It wasn't until later when she replayed the conversation in her head she realized the woman was being such a twat.
There were a few of you who stuck up for Drusilla's mom or sympathized with her or wondered if there was more than met the eye with this woman. You are much nicer people than I could ever be. The way I see it is, if this woman has a condition of some kind then she needs to just do what the rest of us do: LIE. Just say, "I'm sorry, Drusilla is very busy and she doesn't have any free time. Ever. Thank you for asking though. It was nice to meet you. I'm sure I'll see you around." Done and done. The way she handled it was fucked up.
PS - You do know that all names of people on her are made up, right? This child is not really named Drusilla.
How NOT to Make a New Friend - Sandy's experience with Drusilla's mom got me thinking. I have no idea how to make new friends so I can't offer you any advice there. What I can tell you is how NOT to make friends.
Someone suggested "You seem normal" could be code for "I read PIWTPITT and have a sense of humor. Do you?" I like that idea. Try it and let me know how that works.
It Might Be a Tumor - It's not a toomah - or at least I don't think it is.
Over Achieving Elf on the Shelf Mommies - That little bastard is getting ready for his close up this season. He's ready for a repeat of 2011. He's such a media whore. All I can say is, "Wait for me, Choppy!"
Book Update:
I'm beginning to get a complex from how long Nook is taking to get my book up and running. Yup, still no Nook edition this week. Sigh. They hate me.
The book is selling briskly this week. I mailed out a bunch of signed books for holiday presents. I've still got strength left in my hand, so if you want a few for your friends too, order early before fatigue sets in.
I've also been invited to be a guest at a book club that has chosen my book for their November selection. How cool is that? I'm going to go and deface their books with my scrawl and try to keep them on the topic of my book (you know how book clubs get - they never talk about the book). If you're in the Kansas City area and you'd like me to come to your book club, I am totally available - as long as it's not a cookie exchange too.
My Favorite Comments of the Week (and My Replies if Necessary):
Due to exuberant zumba-ing, I developed IT band issues. And I didn't even know I HAD an IT band until then (although I sure know it now!). I didn't get my diagnosis from Google, though. I got it the old-fashioned way - asked someone who has had hip problems and let HER diagnose me. Her dad is a veterinarian, which qualifies her as a diagnostician in my book. on It Might Be a Tumor
Do you have to roll on the - dum, dum, dum - Styrofoam Roller of Death?? That thing hurts like hell. on It Might Be a Tumor
I am doing the Styrofoam Roller of Death and it hurts more than childbirth. Seriously.
OMG, I ADORE you! Still LMAO! on Over Achieving Elf on the Shelf Mommies
"I forget to move him all the time and when I forget I have to spin even MORE lies than usual." Why not drop the whole Santa Clause lie in the first place? on Over Achieving Elf on the Shelf Mommies
OK, I'm an asshole who hates to make my Elf do magical things, but I am not a monster. Plus, the Santa Claus lie keeps everyone in check ALL YEAR ROUND. I will milk Santa for all the good behavior I can get.
All I could take away from this story is that your son's name is Gomer? Or is that your last name and that's what you were referring to him as because it's easier that saying "John" so the school knows exactly what "John" you're talking about. God, I hope that's your last name because Gomer is a terrible, terrible first name and after reading your baby name post I would expect better from you. on Me - In the Carpool Line
OK, obviously you are new so I'm going to cut you some slack. But come on. Who takes the time to leave a comment like this instead of just going to the WHO IS JEN? page or doing a little investigating? Of course my son's name isn't Gomer. It's also not my last name. How awful would that be? I was glad to read that you read at least another post besides this one. Keep reading, you'll find out that my daughter's name is Adolpha - that will really send you for a loop. Just buy my book, all will be explained there.
"you look a lot like my husband's first wife." I honestly didn't know what to do with that on How NOT to Make a New Friend
A little off subject! But when I was interviewing a sitter for my then 3-year old son, (who felt "naked time" should be an all-day event every day of his life) my idiot husband asked the sitter this question: "So...how do you feel about nudity?" Yup. She still ended up taking the job, and 5 years later she is no longer my sitter, but a very good friend. Maybe there are no wrong questions, if u are interested in someone who is real. on How NOT to Make a New Friend
WOW!!! All I can say, Dru's. mom should have just said, "Thanks but no thanks" and Sandy should have just let it go and moved on... lesson to be learned- just be nice, you might end up being put on blast by Jen!!!!! LOL...love you, Jen!!! Keep the blogs rolling....Sandy: good luck finding a new friend for Olive, keep trying!!!! on Friends Are Hard to Find - Part 2
I actually know a child named Steele. He is a twin and his brother's name is Stryker. (as in "strike her." True story. No one is going to mess with those kids! on How NOT to Make a New Friend
Make it stop. What are their parents going to do when they end up on the Mathete team instead of the football team?
I would have said no to the playdate request also, but I would have been more polite. I would never let my daughter go to someone's house that we did not know. And honestly, I can barely keep up with my friends as it us, I don't feel the need to add more people. I am a private person and kind of shy as well, I would have a hard time spending two hours with someone that I just met. on Friends Are Hard to Find - Part 2
You ruffled a few feathers, didn't you? What did you expect though? You basically complained that you've got more friends than you can handle to a group of women complaining that they don't have enough. THEN you said you were too "shy" to hang with a stranger for 2 hours. Really? Too shy to carry on a polite conversation with a stranger for 2 hours? That's actually the easiest 2 hours. You don't know ANYTHING about this woman so now the time to get her talking. You can talk about kids, school, husbands, jobs, The Real Housewives of Where Ever, books, movies, you name it! I sincerely hope you never have to move away from the friends you've already established and I hope that you and your current group never grow apart, because then you'll find out how hard it can be to walk into a room full of strangers and try to find a new friend - for you and/or your kid.
Dear Jen's Hubs, Could you install a like button in the comments section? Pretty please? on Friends Are Hard to Find - Part 2
Wouldn't that be the best?
8 comments:
Cheers to another great week shmoopie! xo
Mmmm, the lovely IT band. I hate that damn muscle/tendon/whatever it is. I've been stretching it for like fifteen years in dance and the little fucker still hurts. At least your trainer was nice with the styrofoam roll...my dance teacher told us to use tennis balls. TENNIS BALLS. Who the hell thought that one up?
I had a hell of a time getting my comment to go up on the "friends" thread. I hit reply to a NUMBER of crazy bitches comments but no little window opened..nothing happened at all...so I put my thoughts in one nutshell at the bottom and it too took forever to let me enter the codeword/number. Knowing me it's MY stupid laptop but I am almost glad because some of those snarky bitches were just too much for me to handle...I was losing my mind reading those comments!
You what's funny? My friend just had twins this month (babies number 11 &12), and named them Steeler and Stryker. They're huge rugby fans, and the teams her and her husband play on are the Steelers and the Lady Steelers. You've got to admit it's cute! :)
+1 on the like button request!
I have totally found myself looking for a like button while reading through the comments section.
There is actually a kid out there named Youngsta. And its pronounced exactly how it looks ....young-sta (kind of like "youngster" but with the -sta at the end, you know the word that means a small child)
Sooo, I just moved to the Kansas City area and I have literally no friends. I am also not sure how to make friends as I stay at home with the kids and no one gets out of their car at drop off and pick up. I met my friends at my kids old school by talking to the ones that wore yoga pants. People who wear real clothes intimidate me. I digress. Is there anyway I could find out more info on the book club that is reading your book? They may just be my kind of people.
Ericka, Try this group, http://www.meetup.com/sahm-2244/
lifestooshorttoplaypossum, I can not reply on comments on Jenns blog either...? Not sure why, I ustacould, but cant any more. I can on other blogs. Dunno.
Good week Jenn!
Devan
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