The Kardashians

These girls (and their Machiavellian mother) have had this punch coming, but tonight since I'm so pissed off that I can't sleep they're finally getting what's due to them.

It's been a busy weekend and I can't sleep so I was catching up on my emails/FB when I saw an article on Yahoo about how much reality "stars" make.  (Don't even get me started on why we call these people "stars."  Ugh.  What do these people do except make total asses of themselves on TV?  Who knew there so many narcissistic people in the world to keep these shows going?  Not to mention the idiots like myself who watch their shows.  Why can't I stop watching The Real Housewives of Any City??)

"Stars" like Snooki and The Situation make millions of dollars a year giving commencement speeches and motivational workshops to the future of America.  Imagine the influence they're going to have over the next generation!  I can't wait until I'm a senior citizen and my heart surgeon is named Joey "The Heart Attack" DiCataldo and he keeps flashing his abs at me while he takes my blood pressure.  Very reassuring that I'm not going to die on the table.

What really pissed me off though, was when I read that the Kardashian family made $65 million dollars last year peddling garbage and "starring" in several reality television shows.  Their mom, Kris Jenner, said, she worries about "overexposure."  Wow.  What would it be like if she DIDN'T worry?  We'd have a Kardashian channel on our cable lineup and they'd ALL be on the cover of every magazine rather than just the hot one.

I have to admit, I've actually never seen any of the shows so I can't say WHY I hate these girls so much.  But I can say, I've been watching a lot of the same channel lately (maybe Bravo?) and they've been showing a ton of previews for Khloe & Lamar's show.  What a trainwreck.  Her mom attacks her for being too fat and ruining the "brand" they've all worked so hard for.  The "brand"?  What exactly is their brand?  Kim's ass?

All I can figure out is that Kim is the hot one and the other two sisters are kind of attractive - but not on their own, so they've always got to have Kim somewhere close by to complain about how much she hates her big (perfect looking) ass and how she had an ugly duckling phase.  (Don't you love when really pretty women talk about how traumatized they are by the tough phase they went through when they had frizzy hair and a pimple?  It was the worst two weeks of her life until she blossomed into the staggering beauty she is today.  I don't know how she got out of bed.)

I've seen a few ads with sexual innuendos that sell shoes - maybe?  (I can't follow what they're hawking half the time.)  I saw clips of the "music video" Kim and her body double made.  And, of course, we all know about Kim's SNAFU wedding.

And I've seen ads for several shows where a group of sisters descend on unsuspecting cities like New York, for instance, and I assume they drain all the natural resources, buy ugly shoes and move on.  I know there were some predatory credit cards at one point that they got in trouble for.  But I think I missed the cure for cancer they found and/or the Nobel Prize they must have won - why else would they get this much attention?

I guess that is the "brand" is Kris referring to?  Can you imagine what Kris could do if you sent her to medical school?  With the drive and determination she has for success she could probably cure cancer singlehandedly.

I can't decide who I think is the better mom:  Tiger Mom who calls her daughters "garbage" and tells her four year old a homemade birthday card is "unacceptable" all while she spends several hours a day teaching at Yale and forcing education and culture down her girls' throats OR Kris Jenner who belittles her adult daughter for destroying a brand she's worked tirelessly to create by whoring herself and her daughters out to any tabloid/red carpet that will take them.  That woman would charge for her daughters to attend the opening of a letter - and she'd probably get it because there are idiots who will pay to watch that.  Yeah, I'm going with Tiger Mom, hands down.

What is the world's attraction to The Kardashians?  They're not THAT cute, people.  Why do we find these women soooo unique and interesting?  I find it interesting they can balance on such high heels and that they made $65 million dollars last year - WTF??  Maybe it is because we like to watch the drama that only a group of sisters has?  If that's the case, then it's too bad there wasn't reality television 70 some years ago.  My grandmother is one of SEVEN sisters.  Imagine the drama those girls had!

Let's stop the madness.  I will say it now, I refuse to watch any of the Kardashian's shows and/or buy any product they sell.  I will do my part to drive them back into obscurity.  Who is with me?


Barbara said...

I've been waiting for this one. My thoughts exactly!

XLMIC said...

They are totally NOT cute... lol. I ignore them. I don't even know enough about them to want to punch them in the throat!

Kiki Wilson-Harshman said...

I take the pledge

LizaM said...

Is it just me, or am I the only one who thinks Khloe looks like a man in drag?

Anyway, I too have never watched any of their shows, but all three sisters are all over the Internet and on the cover of every magazine. Eww. I've been hoping they'd go away since I realized I'd learned all of their names and I didn't know why or how.

Tracey said...


Livin Single in a Southern World said...

I've just found your blog and I can't stop reading! I agree 100% with this post regarding the Kardashian gals. What exactly do they do? Oh, yeah, nothing!

Beth said...

My boyfriend watches sometimes, and I just have to leave the room. I can't stand them.

Anonymous said...

I actually really like the Kardashians. I agree with a lot of what you said about them not doing anything special for the world and damn they get paid so freakin much. But i am one of those people that watches the show all the time. Like to the point where I will watch it on demand if i happen to miss an episode. not sure what my obsession is but I like them. I belong to an all womens collective and some of our values are sisterhood, anti racism, restorative justice and I work at a grassroots non profit. I have some issues with their blatent abuse of their privilege but I love them. I cant help it. I love fashion too so part of it is that i love to see what they are wearing. And I love Chloe and lamar. A LOT! Just wanted to put that out there. i did still like your blog and i still love the kardashians and im not afraid to say it

tatooine84 said...

I'm sad, One of them just had a baby girl and named her the same thing I am planning on naming my daughter that is due in September. I am NOT changing her name but I may scream at every person who asks if my daughter is named after hers, I can only hope that it doesn't happen.

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