Bristol Palin

I saw this article this morning and it made me sooooo angry I just about screamed.  I didn't have time to write so I told Ms. Palin, "I will be back later today to punch you in your mother effing role model throat!"

Can SOMEONE please explain to me how this dolt was paid $262,500 to be a role model to UNWED, PREGNANT TEENAGERS??????  WTF??  Right here, folks, is why there are many days I am embarrassed to be an American.  Who put this slut on a pedestal and said, "She's a perfect role model for abstinence."???

I can only imagine a bunch of old white guys (it's always old white guys making these kinds of decisions)  sitting around a conference table at the Candie's Foundation and saying, "We need a strong role model that we can put out there to help encourage teenage girls to abstain from sex.  Who should it be?"

"Hmm....Elizabeth Smart?"

"God, no!  She's Mormon.  We need a Christian."  (Because, of course, these guys always think Mormons aren't Christians, but that's ANOTHER rant for ANOTHER day.)

"True.  Hmm....ooh, I know!  Bristol Palin!"

"Bristol Palin?  Isn't she an unwed teenage mother?  Aren't we trying to stop that?"

"Exactly!  Who better?  It'll be like 'Scared Straight'.  She'll tell them how tough it is to be an unwed teenage mother.  Show them how hard her life is.  She barely got through high school and couldn't go to college.  She'll tell the girls what real life is really like with a baby.  That will stop them in their tracks!"


Are you fricking kidding me?!  Who in their right minds thinks Bristol Palin is the typical unwed teenage mother?  Let me see, most unwed teenage mothers struggle to find a job, pay the bills, take care of the baby and finish school.  I don't see Bristol having any of those problems.  Bristol made $262,500 because she got knocked up!  Plus, she lives at home, I'm sure she has "help" for the baby and she could go to college if she wanted, but she's too busy whoring herself out to DWTS and Candie's Foundation and making a career for herself as a "motivational speaker" (barf - she's motivating me to move to Canada).  Bristol's success is making me regret not having a baby when I was 17.  I'd love to make $262,500!

Remember the first time we met Sarah Palin's spawn and it was revealed Bristol was pregnant?  I was cracking up.  I said, "Oh yeah!  How are McCain and Palin going to spin this one?  Palin is such a bitch.  Always talking about how abstinence is the best policy.  Yeah, look where it got you - GRANDMA!  People are going to want her blood for this."   But it never happened!  The sheep of America looked at Palin's pretty face and tight ass and said, "Well, at least Bristol didn't abort it."

WTH, America!?  It's like I don't even know you anymore.  Are you that effed up to think that Bristol should be lauded as a role model because she and her baby daddy (don't EVEN get me started on that dumbass, Levi Johnson) were too stupid to figure out how to work a condom??  This is the kind of person you want to hold up and say, "This is a shining example of what America has to offer the world."??

Ugh.  The whole Palin family is so full of shite and such a bunch of hypocrites.  I am SOOOO sick and tired of seeing their mugs every time I turn on the TV blathering on about something they barely understand and rewriting the dictionary.  I'd like to line up every Palin over the age of 12 in their front yard, ride by on a snowmobile and punch them all in the throat and then, since I'm so close, I'll go visit Russia.



Dana K said...

I agree with almost everything you wrote. I don't agree with slut-shaming, though.

Jen Piwtpitt said...

Fair enough. Thanks for sharing.

Jen Piwtpitt said...

My brother had this today on FB and I thought it was pretty hilarious.
Bristol Palin - "If I have stopped just one girl from getting pregnant, then I would have made a quarter of a million dollars stopping one girl from getting pregnant. Maybe I should just send that one kid to Harvard."

Marcella said...

"I'd like to line up every Palin over the age of 12 in their front yard, ride by on a snowmobile and punch them all in the throat and then, since I'm so close, I'll go visit Russia."


emilyb said...

Brilliant! .... and true.

Renae said...

The more I read your blog posts, the more I love you!

Anonymous said...

This just made my day

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