SOME Plastic Surgeons

I'm SOOO split on plastic surgeons.  I'm not going to make this a blanket punch for ALL plastic surgeons, just a FEW.  I think plastic surgeons provide a fantastic service for people who suffer from birth defects or deformities caused by accidents/illness/etc.  I think it can be such a noble profession and I think a lot of surgeons are in it for the right reasons.  

The ones who irk me are the ones who prey on our insecurities to look better - at any age.  I read an article (and then watched the news clip) about a mom who got a free surgery for her daughter's "cup ears."  The girl basically has Obama ears and the mom was concerned that children would ostracize the girl IN THE FUTURE because of her ears.  The girl is 7.  She has never been picked on yet for the ears.  

The doctor doing the surgery is some pulled and tucked looking smooth POS who called the little girl's ears an "abnormality" and said the ears could harm her "developing self-identity."

Who is this guy?  Who is this family?  How did this little girl qualify for a free surgery?  She didn't have a cleft palate or something like that - she had ears that stuck out a bit.  Plus, I'm confused:  the doctor and her mother are so afraid that she'll be bullied and scarred by those ears that they need to anesthetize her and cut her and yet, every news story I read/see about her shows a mug shot of the little girl with her hair tucked behind her ears - showing off the ears in all their glory.  Yeah, 'cause THAT'S not embarrassing to her!  You don't want people to notice her for her ears and yet you're putting them out there?!  My guess is, that if everyone in her school hadn't noticed her ears before - they sure will now!
 
I'm thinking it's not her ears, but rather the conversation she had with the doc that could harm her "developing self-identity."

Have you ever met with a plastic surgeon?  I did.  Once.  I left the building feeling like an ugly duckling who just needed a scalpel to bloom.  I wasn't even there for a consultation.  I was there for an effing job interview!!  I can't imagine the full court press you get when you're in his office for a consultation.

I was about 25 at the time and I'd applied for a job to be the office manager for a popular plastic surgeon in New York City (not the guy who did the surgery on the little girl - but just as tucked and lifted).  We met at his office for our interview and he spent about 15 minutes going over my resume and the job description and said I'd be a perfect fit for the job.  Then he spent the next 40 minutes talking about the "perks" of working there - free plastic surgery.  I've always wanted my boobs reduced, so I sat up and started listening.

He never mentioned my boobs (I guess he thought they were big enough and a reduction is blasphemy to most men).  Instead, he went right for my nose.  (My nose that was broken when I was a child and has a slight adorable curve to it.)  "I could shave it down and give you a really cute little button nose."  I self-consciously covered my nose with my hand and thought, I thought my nose was cute.  I'd never thought of my nose being a problem.  It has character.  "And, of course, you'll want to do your eyes," he went on.  My eyes??  My eyes are large and blue and most people compliment me on my eyes.  "They're a little saggy in the corners.  They could use a lift.  Plus, now is the time to stop signs of aging with Botox."  I wanted nothing more than to find a large pair of sunglasses to hide my hideous eyes behind.  He talked about the benefits of liposuction and tummy tucks and even told me that if he were me, he'd suck the fat out of my chin and plump up my lips.  He said how much better I'd look and how attractive I'd FINALLY feel - after all the surgery.  As opposed to...???

I stumbled out of that interview wanting nothing more than to eat an entire chocolate cake and cry myself to sleep.  Years of bullying and teasing couldn't touch what that man did to my 25 year old "developeED self-identity" in less than an hour.  No wonder the 7 year old told her parents she was ready to have major elective surgery to repair her "defect."  She never had a chance!  And neither did the mother, really.  Wouldn't we DO ANYTHING for our children to make their lives easier/better/happier than what we experienced??

More and more children are going under the knife to try and fix their "defects" and to avoid bullying and taunting from their classmates and I'm just not cool with surgeons recommending and/or allowing that.

I am lucky at this point, because I have small kids who have no visible (YET) "defects" and at this point I can appease the bullies by sending my kids to school with the right shoes and/or toys.  I don't know what I will decide to do when my daughter comes home and tells me her knees are too fat and she needs lipo.  Or my son thinks his eyes are too small.

I hope, that at that point, I will still have the strength to sit down with them and talk about how perfect they are - just the way they are.  If that doesn't work, I'll tell them how sorry I am that they're surrounded by asshats who judge them by their looks, because, as much as I'd love to help, our insurance sucks and elective surgeries aren't covered so they're SOL.  

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

AMEN!

As someone who has had plastic surgery...I agree. Granted I've only dealt with ONE surgeon...but I went in for my boobs initially...then he pointed out I could benefit from a little lipo under my chin. (I have fat face by nature..what can I say?) So who had the lipo? MEEEE! He probably could have told me I needed a third leg and I would have agreed...they're very good at selling you. Bastards...lol.

emilyb said...

Jenn, this one really touches home with me. I have "obama ears". I inherited them from grandfather, an amazing, wonderful man. When I was about 9, my parents and grandparents (not the same side as my big-eared grandpa) got together and offered to pay to have my ears "tacked back" the way they "should have been". I don't know if it was a diversion to surgery or unknown, undeveloped womens intuition, but I declined. That's not to say that the whole experience didn't have a lasting effect on my budding self esteem. I always kept my hair styled where it covered my ears. I would position myself in pictures where they were not obvious. Kids made fun of me and called me "dumbo". I grew up being self-conscious about them. It wasn't until I was married and had my third daughter that I finally started wearing my hair in a pony tail. She was born with my ears. I know that kids will make fun of her, and I hope that seeing me feel beautiful with dumbo ears will help her make it through the bullshit that society puts young girls through. Thanks so much for giving douch bags like that doctor a punch.

mik1224 said...

I soooo know what you mean. There are too many physicians preying on insecure women. My husband is a plastic and reconstructive surgeon and he refuses to perform surgery on someone that has unrealistic expectations as to what surgery can do for them. If he thinks it's not a safe or they will not get the outcome they desire, he tells them " you look beautiful just the way you are". Obviously, he will never make a lot of money. haha

Danielle Smith said...

My kids have abnormally large heads. Shows like Dora, Little Einsteins, Bubble Guppies, etc make them feel more normal. My oldest says he has a big head because he's so smart. He is also a ginger. He had to make an "All About Me" book and ended the book with, "I am special because I am a ginger." I have decided against head shrinking(it's probably morally wrong or illegal or something) and dying his hair since he likes himself so much. I think he is an adorable large-headed ginger.

Beth said...

I agree. Kids shouldn't have surgery unless they have a real defect. I have never been to a plastic surgeon, but I'm sure one would have an absolute field day with me!

Marian said...

I found your blog a little while ago and have been making my way through your entries.
I have elf ears. I mean, if the tops of my ears stood up straight they would be tall and pointy like elf ears. Instead they are extra big on top. I've always thought they were fun.
My boy got one of my ears. At a routine check up with the pediatrician, he looked at boy's ear and started explaining how we can take care of that later and pin it back. I looked at him and said "My ears do the same thing and I think it's pretty cute." To which the doctor quickly started back peddling and saying or course it was fine just the way it is. I don't blame my doc so much as the innumerable affluent, materialistic, superficial people he services in my area.
I read in a woman's magazine once that if you have an attribute that is a little different, accentuate it. For that reason I pierced that top part of my ear and proudly displayed my elvish quality. If only advice like that were more prevalent in society and the people who chose to follow it were celebrated.

Unknown said...

Plastic surgery is best way to get attractive look. Plastic surgeons are professional and expert to do it.
Plastic Surgery Dubai

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Reiki is hard to master, but i would really love to learn it in a short period of time. plastic surgery

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