Trick or treating tires them out. We hit one side of the main drag of the neighborhood and Adolpha was ready to call it quits. At each house she would weigh the pros and cons of carrying her heavy bucket full of candy up to another door. "What do you think they're giving out?" she'd ask me before she'd sigh heavily and plod up to the door, curiosity getting the better of her.
After about twenty houses, both kids were ready to call it quits. They wanted to go home and hand out candy instead. Sounded good to the Hubs and me. Especially to the Hubs. You see, October 31 starts his Grinchy holiday season. If you think I'm not crazy about the holiday madness, you should spend some time with the Hubs. Tonight he told me his Halloween family tradition: "We would turn off all the lights and make the house as dark as possible, but kids would still ring the bell. As soon as they'd ring the doorbell, we'd mute the television and hold our breaths until they finally went away."
It's like living with someone raised by wolves.
Although, after listening to many of the middle schoolers out trolling for candy tonight, I'm beginning to think his idea isn't so bad. Here are just a few of the gems I heard tonight from the pack of middle schoolers that were in front of us at most houses (can't wait until it's Gomer and Adolpha out there wilding and insulting the neighbors):
"Where's the chocolate?"
"Don't you have better stuff than this?"
"Is that all we can have?"
"What's your costume? Are you Santa Claus? No? Oh, well something about you reminds me of him."
"Hey you guys my phone is rubbing my leg raw. I've got to find a better spot for it. I wish this costume had pockets." (FYI - if you're old enough to carry a cell phone then you're too old to trick or treat at my house.)
"Oh my God, you guys, asking strangers for candy is so awkward."
My favorite tweens of the night were the ones who were the last visitors at my house. We'd come back and the kids were sitting on the porch with our enormous bowl of candy handing out treats. I was just coming out to tell them it was time to come in when I overheard this conversation:
Kid 1: I could just take that whole bowl of candy from you, you know.
Gomer: No you can't. We need it.
Kid 2: You should just give it to us. No one else is coming. We're the last group.
Adolpha: You can't have it. There might be more kids.
Gomer: It' doesn't matter. Our mom said only two pieces for each kid.
Kid 3: C'mon, either take it or let's go.
That's when I opened the door and stepped out on the porch and I saw three kids dressed like morphs. Can someone please tell me what the hell a morph is and why is it such a popular costume this year???
Me: What's going on?
Gomer: Those kids were going to take our candy.
Me: Oh is that right?
Kid 1: I was just kidding him.
Me: It didn't sound like you were kidding.
Kid 2: I love your daughter's costume. Is she a cow?
Me: No. She's a puppy and people have been calling her a cow all night. Look at her face paint and look at her ears. She is obviously a puppy. She hates it when people call her a cow.
Kid 2: Oh. I can't see very well. She kind of looks like a cow.
Me: Well, she's not and she's ready to start biting people to prove she's a puppy.
Adolpha: Grrrr.
Me: Boys, I think you'd better run along before I let Adolpha get you.
Do we look like cows? We are obviously spotted puppies, silly morphs. |
Ha. Those freaky morphs thought they'd just help us out by taking the last of our candy since we weren't going to have anymore customers. Don't those punks know that any left over candy always goes to the moms?
Photo: Kids Dressing Up Box
63 comments:
You are my favorite. The end.
Yes! What is it with the morphs? Are they on a show or something? Even my neighbor, who bought the costume for her kid, doesn't know what they're all about.
My neighborhood is done early. We trick or treated from 6:30-7:30, with a stop at home to empty out the buckets. When we got home the bucket of candy on our porch was still half full! I couldn't believe no punk kid had taken the whole thing! By 8:00 the doorbell had stopped ringing, but I kept my porch light on until 9:00, just in case.
Oh my god, my 1.5-year-old wore that same costume last night, and his brother wore it last year, and EVERYONE asked if he was a cow! WTF, people?! There's even a BONE on the little chin strap!!
I'm with Adolpha. I wish she'd bitten those little f@#$s.
I would so turn into the candy nazi with any of those kids, yanking the candy away from them and screaming at them "No candy for you!" Ass holes!
my 2 girls wore the exact costumes last year and everyone thought they were cows too!!
Glad to hear your hubby and my hubby share the same enthusiasm for holidays. When I called my husband from work to see if he wanted to come trick or treating with me and the kiddo, he said, "Well, if I get home on time... nope, probably not."
I am going to make him suffer over the next few years by decorating our house with copious amounts of Halloween decorations, so that all of our neighborhood kids come flooding to our gates.
P.S. My little girl was very obviously dressed up like a dog, too, and a lot of people still didn't know what she was. Next year, I am just going to hang a sign around her neck that says "I am a dog".
P.P.S. Your daughter totally should have bitten that kid.
ugh I am so over teenagers at Halloween!! last night i saw these teens take a bowl that this family had left out for trick or treaters while they took their kids trick or treating. i had had enough of teenagers already yesterday cutting in line at houses and saying inappropriate things with my kids standing right behind them. So i just walked right up to the teens and took the bowl and told them i would report them to the cops at the front of the neighborhood. the kid goes and gets her mom and come to me and fusses at me for accusing her child of stealing, that they know the person whose bowl it is and was just playing a joke, ugh!! how was i suppose to know the kid really did know the person! I did feel bad after talking to her mother and all but seriously she can't be too mad at me it was a stupid joke to play when you have teens all over the neighborhood doing things they shouldn't be doing.
Is it sad I had to google morphs, cause I was all what the hell?
My mom was like the Hub's family she NEVER handed out candy and she would hide from trick or treaters too. What's sad is I grew up in an old house that had two front doors(to this day I don't understand WHY) and kids would try both doors before giving up!
As for the middle schoolers, they don't bother me as much as the high school kids! If your mustache on your costume is real you're to old to be fracking trick or treating.
I have teens. They had 2 choices last night, hand out candy or take one of the little kids in the neighborhood out so their parents could get a break for an hour or so. After 13 they need to be escorted by a younger child to get candy at my door, unless they are special needs. And the teens in morphsuits? My 16 yo takes GREAT joy in pelting Whopper off their heads, and not always the one on their shoulders.
I had to google morphs too.
In Mexico trick or trating is not as popular so in our new neighborhood nobody goes out and nobody hands out candy so not weirdness all around.
But before I used to live in a very busy street and we had tons or kids, we sometimes even run out of candy no matter how much we bought, and we seriously had tons.
my hubs teaches middle school. every halloween we leave our lights off. at first we did it so that his students wouldn't find out we lived there. now the secret's out, but we still hide so that they think we're not home. (we live in a fairly new development w/ tiny trees, so if they're going to TP us, it wouldn't be much fun for them.) for the first time last night, a pack of them rang the doorbell anyway. one girl at the front of the group said, "mr. a, are we annoying you?" what did she expect him to say? awkward! LOL
I have no idea where these morph suits originated, but it's one my 8 yr old insisted on this year. His looked like a tuxedo, and was pretty funny. They supposedly can see through the face cover, but he couldn't so we had to cut eye holes for him.
Ugh we had a group of morphs running along the neighborhood as well. Nearly knocked me and my 18 month old over as I pushed her in the stroller, then had the audacity to come to my in laws house 3 times and say "I'm just bored and don't want to go home, can you give me more candy." To which my 2 year old dumped the freaking bowl in his bag. Good job kid, you duped a 2 year old. On top of that I spent a freaking week making C3P0 and R2d2 costumes which had to be covered up by coats and ruined by the rain....
I can't believe how much I'm starting to hate Halloween, and its my freaking birthday.
One of the many benefits to living in the country. No trick-or-treaters! But, you have to have candy-just in case. November 1 is a happy day for mom & dad because no one shows up on Halloween and all the Reese's Peanut Butter cups are yours!
Such rude kids!I've thought a lot about what age is too old. At first I thought 13 was too old, but actually I don't honestly care as long as they are in a costume and polite. I can't stand the kids that ride their bikes or skate boards into the yard wearing nothing but some bloody face paint in regular clothes who then drop their board/bike and rush past the little kids only to do the same thing at each house. I like our small neighborhood. I know most of the kids and they recognize me so they tend to be polite and it is a small enough neighborhood that people aren't driving their kids in from other places to come here, but big enough that my kids still came home with full buckets.
I really don't understand why people are against middle schoolers trick or treating- 11, 12 yr olds are still kids.... I have no problems even with high schoolers as long as they are in costume, polite and it's not after 930pm... Relax- they are only young once... We all complain about kids growing up too fast these days yet all of you are complaining about 12 yr olds trick or treating.. This is Grinchy...Normally, I love your column but not today... Oh BTW, when the kids get too old to trick or treat- it becomes just another boring day and you too will be sad as you realize that their "childhood" is almost over.
I have to admit, I let my 14-yr-old daughter go trick-or-treating last night. She went with a group of her friends, but before going another mother and I gave them a debriefing. We told them, "Look, you guys are really too old to be doing this, the only way to make it work is to be very friendly and polite. Make sure to make eye contact, say "Trick-or-Treat" and smile while saying "Thank you".
If she wants to go next year, I'll make her take her little brother. He got way more candy than her anyway, even though he went to less houses. I have to admit, I always give the teens less and the cute little kids more!
I asked my friends in early September how old is too old to trick or treat. (My daughter is 13.) The universal response was, "You're never too old *as long as you have a costume.* So I let her go, with the same pre-talk as Luckymom above. For the kids that came without costumes, I gave them the stinkeye and said, "Oh, very original costume. Annoying teenager." (And amazingly, no tp or eggs, and the pumpkins were intact this morning.)
I have to say, our new neighborhood was pretty awesome about trick-or-treating. Though I have to wonder HOW IN THE HELL some parents don't understand the rules, and teach those rules to their kids. It just bugs the shit out of me.
Rule #1 - if the light ain't on, don't frickin KNOCK! (or ring the bell, or throw down the 'search warrant' door-bang)
Rule #2 - Tiny tots go first. (Had to remind my own boys of this one - they consistently left their little brother on the curb)
Rule #3 - Take ONE unless invited to take more by the treater. Bowls of candy on the porch? TAKE ONE ONLY!
I can't tell you how many times I saw people leaving our dark porch complaining about no candy. Um, we have 3 kids - why wouldn't we be out trick-or-treating?
My mom used to have her own personal costume contest. The cute little kids in great costumes would always get the "good stuff": Reese's cups,bigger chocolate bars, skittles, the stuff kids want. The high school students dressed as hobos or even worse, the kid from my high school that was dressed as "himself", got a tootsie roll or something. I don't think the kid dressed as "himself" got anything.
I don't mind the older kids when they are in costume and polite, but I have to wonder what is wrong with some of them. We ran out of candy around 8:00, so we turned out the lights and settled in to relax. Sometime after 9:00, the doorbell rang and there were three tweens standing there. When my son told them we were out of candy, kid 1 asked "well, don't you have any soda then?" My son chuckled and said no. Kid 2 than asks "what about some canned ravioli?" WTF?? Son just shut the door on them at that point and I was convinced that I would be cleaning up egg this morning...
We must live in Stepford because this year the teenagers were all in costume, well-mannered and I even saw a few parents supervising their large groups. Of course, this may have been how they acted at MY house because I am the Candy Nazi...I have the good stuff but for years flat refused to hand it out to turds without costumes and stood holding it with eyebrows raised until I got the required "Trick or Treat" out of them. I think they've learned...want the good stuff?? Form a line, say the words, step aside for the next kid. And don't even bother if you aren't dressed up! LOL
I feel that if you're going to trick or treat you should at least put some effort into a costume.
Eight years ago,I got tired of all the teenagers showing up without a costume, thinking they're too cool to say "Trick or Treat" so I instituted a new rule. Teenagers that show up at my house without a costume have to perform before they get candy.They can tell a joke,sing a song,or do a trick.The best moments are when they really surprise me and do something amazing.One year, a group of teenage boys busted out a rap version of "Oops,I did it again"(they got a bunch of candy from me that year).They came back the next year and performed something else that they had practiced ahead of time-I just poured my bowl into their bags.They deserved it.
The kids in the neighborhood know it's all in good fun and alot of times the teenagers that weren't dressed up the year before come back the next year in costume and want to perform anyway.BTW,in all this time that I've done this,I've only had one teenager refuse to do something and I've never been egged or tp'd(knock on wood).
I too must be the minority here...I don't mind the older kids, (as long as they don't push the littles and DON'T take all the candy). They are going house to house, putting a little effort in it, working for their $15 worth of candy; candy that they easily could have just gone out and bought. What makes me laugh is the parent pushing the 3 to 9 month old baby, going trick or treating for them...REALLY? that candy is for the baby. WTF? Are you saving it for the next couple years for them?
The ones that get me, are the parents who take their kids around in the car (which is a pet peeve of mine), then have their kid tumble out with a pillow case for a bag, wearing their regular school clothes. If you, as a parent, are going to make no effort at all for your kid on Halloween and gas being $3.45/gallon at the moment, why not just go to the store and buy the kids a bag of candy of their choice and call it a night? I've never understood the partial effort people. Either go all in -- walk, costume, etc. or don't go at all.
I wish I had the balls to deny the you're-bordering-on-being-too-old-for-this kids without costumes candy, but my husband fears their retaliation. They can probably smell the fear.
We have actually had parents DRIVING these older kids around the neighborhood at the close of trick or treating. No costumes. They'd jump out of the car as it came to a screeching halt at the corner of our block. Like a greedy mob, tell us we should give them the remainder of our bowls because trick or treating was over now anyway.
Debbie, it's because they have little kids and think middle schoolers are practically adults. I felt the same way when my oldest was 7 years old. Now she is a 7th grader and she went out with her friends to trick or treat. I'm guessing this is her last year and it makes me sad. They are still goofy kids and they do goofy things. Cut them a little slack.
You are awesome!!!
We have a huge neighborhood & we live in the only part that has sidewalks so we generally get a huge bunch of the cute little ones who go with their parents before dark. Adorable, sweet, polite princesses & Power Rangers--love it! After dark, we'd end up with a few Tweens & teens (sidewalks are not cool after a certain age apparently) who quickly learned that they would get a lame Halloween pencil if they didn't wear a costume or weren't polite. This year, we ended up with a bunch of bratty kids after dark who were in elementary school & were SO rude! When I gave the allotted 3 pieces per kid, one called me a "cheap ass" & another took the candy & then asked for more b/c I didn't give him enough! WTH? They were 7-8 y/o with no parents & no manners! That made me feel a tab Grinchy ( as the Hubs would say)
I don't mind Tweens trick or treating as long as they are respectful. I heard lots of naughty words last night. So not cool. There was also a tween in a flannel shirt, jeans and a chainsaw. No Jason mask either. Really. He keep revving his chainsaw and scaring the kids.
I proudly trick-or-treated through college. We dressed up every year. I don't think there is an age limit, as long as you dress up, and go at a reasonable hour.
Being polite should go without saying.
I am going to have to remember that as our neighborhood gets older (we mostly have elementary kids now).
We used to have all ages come to the door, some more annoying than others. But I came up with the best way to deal with the teenagers. Give out toys. Small silly party favors you can buy in the party stores for about the same price as the bags of candy. The little kids loved them but the big kids are just looking for candy, so they hated them. Plus I had quite a few parents come to my door to thank me for giving toys instead of candy. (Win - win!)
We've gone to different subdivisions the past couple of years (we live in a rural area so there's no where to trick or treat around here) and most of the people seemed polite. Last night we went to a small town near here and it was AWFUL! My kids got shoved out of the way, one got knocked over and I got run into. And a couple of times teens went SCREAMING down the road in their cars... way too fast when there's kids around.
I think I'll go back to surburbia next year.
I commented on a friend's fb status who complained that someone emptied her bowl of candy and threw the bowl in the bushes during the 15 minutes she left it unattended at the door. I wondered if it was the same teens/tweens that were out after 8pm who grabbed handfuls of candy after I told them "take a few if you want." And that was with me standing there with the bowl! For the record, the young kids who were told the same thing politely took 2-3 candies and said thank you. Next year I am taking the advice of the previous commenter and handing out party trinkets. I had a few in the bowl leftover from a party and the kids LOVED them.
I am not a big fan of Halloween, honestly. I hate all the thought and effort and money put into a stupid costume that gets worn for a couple hours MAX! I think it is so very stupid to go door to door asking for candy when I could much more easily buy it and my kids are little and can't really have that much anyways. It's all just dumb, lol. I do have fond memories of trick or treating as a kid so I will always do it and ACT like I like it but I don't. I'm not gonna be a party pooper....I'm just sayin' it's dumb. LOL. :) Devan
My husband is the opposite. He loves Halloween more than Christmas. I had to physically stop him from going out in a scary costume this year. I don't want him to be 'that guy' that scares the crap out of kids, but he doesn't get it :/
We do the 'ol bowl 'o candy on the porch trick so we can both go out with our 7 year old. Our newly wed neighbors said in their old neighborhood we could never do that b/c we'd come home to find our candy, bowl, and table missing. LOL
Guilty of Morph-Googling. WTF?
Speaking of Halloween being over, have you heard of the Switch Witch? Seriously? WTF? Google it! I would love to hear your thoughts...
I am so VERY thankful to have a mile long driveway (OK, more like 1/4 mile, but you get the picture--LOL) so nobody comes to our house. We all packed up and went to a friends house for dinner and trick or treating. This was the first year I wasn't totally stressed out! Though I will say that all the teens and tweens have always been nice and respectful in my old neighborhood :-)
That is awesome and so much fun!!!! Now I wish we lived somewhere with trick or treaters so I could try this!!!
I'm sure it WASN'T a joke; she just convinced her mom it was.
I don't mind the 'bigger' kids as much as their lazy parents. We had several parents drive their kids around instead of walking, ok 1) we live in south Georgia, it was 60 degrees and not raining, 2) we live in a neighborhood where the houses are 20 feet apart. The kids would pile out of the car, ring a bell, pile back in the car and the car would literally drive 10 feet. Then they'd do it again- blocking traffic and nearly running over the other kids. Seriously, you are THAT lazy?
I live in a city so urban trick or treaters are the WORST. The little kids are all fine - well mannered and in costume. The bigger kids not only just throw on a hat or glasses and "pretend" to be dressed up, they try coming around again and again. My favorite trick or treater so far...the 15 year old pregnant girl (totally serious)!!! I stopped going out before I started high school, but if you dress up (actually dress up) and want to go out I'll give you candy. However...if you are pregnant, no matter your age, you are definitely too old to be out there!
I have more sympathy for the middle schoolers, too. My mom didn't LET me go trick-or-treating until I was 12. So I got 3 years of it, before she declared me "too old". Thanks, Mom.
I was almost "that mom" last year. It was more because I LOVE Halloween and wanted to do SOMETHING with my new kid. It's just sheer enthusiasm. But instead, he celebrated Halloween with his first ear infection. Oy vey.
This year he's a toddler, and we went to a tiny "Trunk or Treat" festival, where he had more fun dancing than anything. We went home with, like, ten pieces of candy. I let him have the chocolate bar, though, and a gummy candy. He had more fun dancing to the music, anyway.
I remember being super shy at the normal trick or treating age, so I quit around 10...then I would go to my grandmother's and hand out candy (my parents lived in the country) and it was always super awkward when my classmates would come by...
Boo. I love Halloween. As long as you're dressed up I'll gladly give you candy! I don't care how old you are! We do it big in our neighborhood lots of hayrides as our houses are far apart. A lot of ppl make fires and sit at the end of their driveways having drinks and passing out candy. It's so much fun!
The morphs look like Zentai sex suits to me so even creepier.
Charlie on "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" wears one he calls Green Man and torments Sweet Dee. Other than that I have no idea. Halloween was lame this year. Minus the new episode of American Horror Story. We never have any where we live so I decided to go to my mom's house (the house I grew up in a neighborhood full of kids!) to hand out candy there. She was spending the night at her boyfriend's house to hide from trick or treaters and knew I would be coming there. I was so disappointed when we'd only had three groups by about 8:00 pm. I'm a total Halloween brat, nearly in tears as I complain to my boyfriend about how lame this year was. Then I hear some children's voices at the door and get really excited! Then nothing, quiet. Then I hear the front door handle turn and watch as it opens slowly.... I am thinking what rude brats just walk into someone's house? Where are there parents? In steps a tiny Scooby Doo with an angel/ princess slightly older sister behind him. He grins at me and looks at the bowl of candy on the stool by the door. Then his sister nags at him, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? That's not allowed!" I hop up and scoot to the door to give them their candy they both say Trick or Treat and Thank you and move a long. I look over shocked at my boyfriend and he ask if the doorbell works... Turns out no it doesn't. So dozens of kids probably just thought we were assholes and not coming to the door. Then he laughed and called Scooby Doo a "ballsy little bastard." So I felt like a dick, put a please knock sign up and called my mom who then says "Oh yeah, it only works sometimes, oops probably should have told you that huh?"
I honestly don't mind the older kids trick or treating so long as they have a costume. I'd give adults candy so long as they had a good costume. It's the ones who put on a ball cap and call it done that piss me off. If you want candy, you ought to at least be willing to put in a little effort. If you're too "cool" for that, you're too cool to go begging for candy.
We manned our door all night but made the mistake of trying to be nice and leave a bowl out for a short time while we put our youngest to bed. Not only did the last bunch of the night take all the rest of the candy (expected that really), they took our damn bowl! Wtf is that?? It was a cheap plastic bowl so it's really no big loss but it was big so we used it all the time. Little bastards. Lesson learned...next year we won't be nice.
candy and bowl missing here. didn't have it on a table.
Your children should be glad their sacks of candy were so heavy. They could live in the UK where most people don't even answer the door and, if they do, they are woefully unprepared and hand out coins or fruit. Halloween in the UK sucks!
Oh, and those nasty kids deserve a massive punch in the throat. I left a bowl of candy on the doorstep while we were out trick-or-treating, and there was still some left in the bowl when we got back! The first kids that came could have totally just emptied the bowl.
My last year of trick-or-treating was the fifth grade. The following seven years (6th-12th) were spent at my best friend's house. Her family did an over-the-top haunted house every year, and we were always recruited to help. Her mom gave us each a huge bag of candy, and the rest of the night was spent handing out candy and being "spooky" (though by about an hour and a half into it we were too busy playing around and doing our own thing to be spooky). I never missed trick-or-treating after that. I still got candy and I got to hang with my friends, so what was I really missing?
We had lots of teens come to our house. If they were in costume we went with it. No big deal. But if they weren't we told them they either had to sing, dance or tell us a joke before they could have candy. Almost all of them decided the candy wasn't worth it.
Maybe I'm in the minority here, but we live in a fairly depressed area. The families in our neighborhood don't dole out $60 for a costume. They DO put a lot of effort into making a homemade costume, which I like better anyway. I don't mind the older kids trick or treating here. They usually try for some kind of costume, but I know these are kids who don't have $15 to go buy their own candy. It's a once a year treat and I let 'em have it as long as they are respectful, which they almost always are. When I'm done for the night (when my own kids are in bed), I pack the rest of the candy into little plastic goodie bags and put them in a bowl. That way they usually take only one bag b/c it has multiple pieces. (We've checked before and noticed that the bags really do disappear slowly.)
My kids wear their costumes all the time after trick or treat night!
I think anyone who spends $60 on a costume for their kid needs a punch in the throat! Lol Really?! That's crazy! Between my 2 boys I think we spent $30 on their costumes (together) and my daughter went as a princess. We already had a "princess dress" (pink and pouffy) and my MIL let her borrow a tiara she has so her costume was free! Next year I'm buying some liquid latex and hitting the thrift store for some ratty clothes! We're all going as zombies! I will probably have to make my daughter a girly zombie tho! Lol
My daughter dressed as a doctor this year. Everyone thought she was a nurse. :/
I couldn't stop laughing...this is hilarious.
What's a morph?
She's totally a dalmation. People are idiots. My mom has lots of teens show up at her house, but she got ticked more at the moms this year. One group came, took more than was offered, then came back a half-hour later. My mom gave the ADULT a dirty look & said they already came to her house. The lady thought for a minute then said, "Um, that must have been my twin." Another kid was given a big candy bar & a little sucker, then she asked for more. My mom said no. Then she asked to swap the sucker for a candy bar, and Mom said no. Kid made sad puppy eyes and begged. Mom said no, this time directed at the child's mother who was standing right there letting the kid act like that. Several groups came, and the parent or grandparent grabbed candy, too. I get kids forgetting to say "Thank you," but I expect parents to yell from the sidewalk, "Did you say 'Thank you?'" at every house, not coach their kids to be a-holes and take more than was offered. Why don't people get that more front porch lights are turned off every year because their rudeness steals the fun from giving out treats. It's the same sentiment that makes so many people hate our welfare system. Be thankful, not manipulative or greedy! Parents, teach your kids manners! Ugh.
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