Weekly Wrap Up 4.14.12

The week is over and what a week it was.  Let's see, what happened this week?  I gained a lot of new readers this week.  Welcome, welcome.  My in-laws came to visit.  I'm sure I'll share more on that later.  A few of you inquired if I was in the path of the major storms last night.  Thanks for checking on us. No, Kansas City was just outside of the line of storms.  We got some rain and that was it.  We were lucky.  I had my little storm shelter in the basement ready though in case it changed direction.

This week I wrote some things for Babble.com that you can read here.  I was also published on HuffingtonPost.com this week and you can read that here.

Top Read Posts This Week:

Open Letter to Silly Celebrity Moms - This one was popular this week.  HuffPost grabbed it for their Parents page and their Comedy page.  Saturday night it brought me this much closer to Tina Fey.  See if you can follow me on this one.  I was featured on HP's Comedy page on the top left hand column and Tina was featured in a clip on the right hand column.  My hope is that she read my piece (which linked to my letter to her) and that now she knows I exist.  If Tina calls me as a result of all that, I'll spit food in my kids' mouths as a thank you to Alicia.

Adolpha Gives Me Advice on Love - What can I say about this one?  How about:  "Adolpha thinks you're a cheating bastard."  I am considering giving Adolpha a guest post in the near future.  She has a lot to say about everything.  She is her mother's daughter.

Idiots on Message Boards - Ironically, this was shared a few times on message boards, but only by geniuses.  I had a lot of requests for the names of these boards.  I found these posts on a few different ones.  Urbanbaby (NYC board, of course), Youbemom (as one reader aptly called it: "a clown car of idiots") and TheBump were the most common ones I trolled.

People Who Think They Should Always Be Happy - This was a repost from the archives.  I think the title sums it up.

Inside MY Closet - This one is still hanging around from last week.  I took a local magazine article and imagined I was the one being interviewed.

My Favorite Comments of the Week (and My Responses If Necessary):

I strongly dislike when women feel the need to tear down other women. Knowing one person who is crunchy does not make you an expert or even remotely knowledgeable. on Open Letter to Silly Celebrity Moms

Who let you in?  No one said I was an expert.  Blah, blah, blah.  Go away.

So if you are pregnant and not planning on eating the placenta, why not make some extra money and sell it on Ebay? on Open Letter to Silly Celebrity Moms

I like how you're thinking.  I'm so stupid.  When Gomer was born, the medical professionals actually missed a second placenta I had.  We just had it removed and discarded like medical waste.  Imagine the missed opportunities there.  That could have gone towards his college tuition.

When do the comments get their own like buttons? Not only is the blog fab, but the comments are equally laugh-inducing! comes down to having too much time and money...what fubar-ed idea can we come up with next to be original in our truly individual experience of birthing and raising babies that no one has ever done before! Anyone see Tony Romo's wife in the hospital pic this week? at least she had the backless/assless gown on, but she still looked like a fucking debutante. just like i did. i wonder if the placenta needs to be pre-chewed?? on Open Letter to Silly Celebrity Moms

The comments really are great, aren't they?  Especially on this post.  If you have half an hour or so, do yourself a favor and sit down and read the comments on this post beginning to end.  You will not be disappointed.

Thank you for sharing this. I too suffered from serious ppd, that almost turned into psychosis. I had never suffered depression before and had no idea it was coming. I never knew how bad it was until my son was a little over 2 and I made a plan to kill myself. Thank god I had the wherewithall to seek help and get medicated. If swallowing encapsulated placenta means I won't go to that place again, guess what? I would do it in a heartbeat. On a lighter note, this blog is hilarious and celebrities really do make it too easy to mock them. on Open Letter to Silly Celebrity Moms

New reality competition "Baby Bat Shit." Minor celebrities line up to compete for post-delivery plastic surgery and have to perform semi-nude photos, placenta eating, etc. Think of it as "America's Next Top Model" meets "Fear Factor." on Open Letter to Silly Celebrity Moms

I would watch that.

It you think fish oil burps are bad you should try a placenta capsule. Tastes like lochia. I am vegetarian but decided to eat my placenta as I was fucking psycho while pregnant and very worried about ppd. That first burp almost made me think ppd was a better option. Ps- have some left over for bad days if anyone wants to try one. Hahahhaahahaha! on Open Letter to Silly Celebrity Moms

I had to Google "lochia," because I wasn't sure I had the right definition.  Nope.  I was right. If the idea of eating placenta didn't make me gag, the idea of tasting lochia sure did.  Thanks for the upchuck.

Hahaha. I was pregnant in 1966...the glory days of pregnancy when you and your doctor would enjoy a cigarette in the examining room and he would advise you to have a couple of drinks to relax your pregnant self. Breastfeeding? Never came up - they just told you what formula to buy and home you would go after a week in the hospital. At that time only cats ate afterbirth and those little swimming pools were still in the back yard for kids to play in. My kids survived it but these poor Apples, Pipers, and Dakotas and Blues? Will they be able to deal with those naked, pregnant moms when they're teenagers? Thanks for the laugh! Nancy on Open Letter to Silly Celebrity Moms

Her neighbor was eating a cookie in the middle of the day?? Now, to be fair, this doesn't really seem that bad to me, but only because the pigs in MY neighborhood eat entire MEALS in the middle of the day!! I hope she at least had the good sense to throw up afterwards. GAWD!! *flips hair* on Idiots on Message Boards

So any fans from NE Wisconsin, because I think a girls night out to meet us like minded, sarcastic, laugh outloud at OAM's & elves and "whine" over wine is a MUST. I have been waiting for friends I can tell it like I see to......anyone..... on Idiots on Message Boards

Throat Punch Club!  Who wants to join?

I'm laughing 'cause you used, Just sayin' - sometimes the passive aggressive approach is needed. onIdiots on Message Boards

As a woman who helps moderate a very male car forum, it's not a whole lot different on that side of the world. You can't fix stupid. on Idiots on Message Boards

Adolpha is exactly like Yoda! Well, maybe just the wise, short and cute qualities. Not the wrinkley and odd colored qualities. Do you think she can come hang with me for a bit? I have some concerns regarding my boyfriend and I could use her wisdom :) on Adolpha Gives Me Advice on Love

I know you already know this...but, your daughter is a genius. Thank you for this heartwarming and fun piece. P.S. If you husband ever decides to get a girlfriend, I think you have the makings of a great mob here. on Adolpha Gives Me Advice on Love

Hear that Hubs?  A mob.  Watch out.

I've been reading alot of blogs and many are mildly amusing. You are downright hilarious. LOVE THIS. on Adolpha Gives Me Advice on Love

Thank you.  

I hope to God no one ever comes to interview me in our closet. It is fairly organized I suppose but it is also where my husband and I sneak away to have sex. I still have a kid sleeping in our bed and with 9 kids we dont have many options for privacy. That would be one interesting interview!!! "My favorite color is pink but right where you are standing was where we did my favorite position last night"!!! :) onInside MY Closet

Good Lord, woman!  Nine kids AND you have an organized closet AND you still have sex with your husband?  Stop that right now.  You're giving those of us with just 2 or 3 kids and a messy closet a bad name when we say we're too exhausted for sex or laundry.


Anonymous said...

Maybe the closet is the secret to a good sex life. I'll have to tell my husband... LOL

Jennifer said...

I am moving to the KC are this summer. I will gladly organize/host Throat Punch Club if you promise to make a celebrity appearance and endorsement. BTW, the theme will be a mash up of The Renaissance and Bridesmaids. Cupcake pics to follow.

Anonymous said...

LOVE that last comment and yours Jen!! "... was where we did my favorite position..." BWAHAHA!!!

Anonymous said...

My life is complete, I've made comment of the week. Now just lemme know where you want me to mail those lochia pills.

Anonymous said...

Closet sex is the way to go, Jen. Give it a go and report back in one of your fabulous rants .

Cheryl said...

Thanks for the giggles!

Anonymous said...

I understand that if Tina contacts you you'd like to thank Alicia. But you might have a hard time getting the kids to agree to that tactic... Hope they didn't read that over your shoulder or they might refuse to come in the kitchen for a few days!

Jen Piwtpitt said...

Jennifer, surely you need a good Realtor in the KC area! The Hubs can help you find your new house and I'll host your housewarming party and introduce you to the KC Punch Club. What do you think?

Jen Piwtpitt said...

My mailing address is under the Contact Me tab. I'll do a sweepstakes and the "winner" gets to taste lochia. Can't me any worse than the other products I'm offered every day to pimp out.

Anonymous said...

How does anyone know what lochia tastes like? I'll pass thanks!

Tara said...

1. Having never heard of lochia I decided to Google it....That little piece of enlightenment is exactly what I needed at 37 weeks preggo. Guess what I'll be thinking of constantly? Even without the definition the word itself just sounds gross, like areola or caffeine-free.
2. Would eating your own placenta be considered cannibalism or recycling?

Kristen said...

You were brought to my attention by a friend on Facebook. The night before I read you I watched Dinner Party w/Allies and Ali (the dorito girl) brought il the whole eating placenta strangeness and I thought Neecie from clean your house was going to toss her cookies. Lolol. This blog has made my day. You are hysterical!!!!!!!!!!

Sarah Bryant said...

Glad I am not the only one who does it in the closet!!!! ;-) There is a toddler in the bed and I have a small house. The closet is awesome!

Unknown said...

I do live in a part of Kansas that was hit by the tornado. Thankfully it did not go through my part of town, but it did go through a low-income area of town and completely destroyed it. These people have nothing and most do not even have insurance to help them replace all that they lost. If any of your readers are interested in helping these people they can check out kansastornadorelief.com and find out how.

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