Weekly Wrap Up 1.14.11

This week has been a busy week for me.

Top posts this week were:

Open Letter to Beyonce & Jay-Z - There were some allegations leveled against the couple and Lenox Hill Hospital.  I reacted to what I read and saw in the press.  Since I wrote this, there has been an investigation and it's all over now.  The parents never came forward again, I'm not sure what happened to them.  This post got flagged by FB and people had some trouble reposting it for about a day.  I appreciate anyone who went above and beyond to get it out there.

Rules for Parents of Daughters - This list wasn't as funny as my boy's list and I got some flack for that.  I feel that boys do a lot more "gross" things than girls do that should be stopped and girls do more self-destructive things and that's not funny.  This one also went viral this week.  Thanks again to those of you who kept sharing it.

Rules for Parents of Sons - This was in response to a sweet list I saw making the rounds about teaching boys to do laundry and such.  This was just my snarky take on what I thought could have been added to the list.

Things I Saw This Morning That Pissed Me Off - This was a list I wrote after watching the news one morning.

Overachieving Elf on the Shelf Mommies - Finally, this post has been kicked out of first place and at this rate it might not even make the list next week.

My favorite comments of the week (and my replies):

Jen, You do have a son, right?  I have a boy and a girl and while I admired and posted your list for girls.  This list for boys is insulting.  It reflects a view of boys as simpletons.  You encourage strength, self respect and confidence for girls while you emphasize not "rubbing one out," not "standing to pee" and not "picking boogers" for boys.  This list just reflects a low opinion for boys.  You had the potential to come up with something much better especially for your son's sake. on Rules for Raising a Boy

Yes I have son.  Can you read?  The beginning of the boy's list clearly states that there is a sweet, nice list making the rounds and this was my version of the list.  It's not meant to be empowering and uplifting.  It was a joke. Why do I keep having to tell people what I write is a joke?  I guess I should be glad that so many people are taking my "words of wisdom" to heart, but I'm concerned how many people don't read closely.  

Of course charges were dismissed.  They can afford a 2,200 square foot nursery and a $500,000 minivan. I'm sure there was a "donation" to someone somewhere that made those charges magically disappear.  What selfish assholes!  My 1st son was a NICU baby, only my hospital didn't have a NICU and he was taken 35 miles away while I was made to stay at the original hospital.  I didn't see him for almost 2 days.  When I did make it to the hospital to see him, if I had been told that I couldn't see him because of some BULLSHIT like this, my ass probably would have wound up in jail. on Open Letter to Beyonce & Jay-Z

I could not agree more, but on advice from my legal counsel, I will remain silent.  Haha.

I find it funny that you discourage your daughter from reading teen magazines yet you're a faithful reader of People (?) and US (?). # hypocrite. on Weekly Wrap Up 1.6.12

Did I ever say I wasn't a hypocrite?  Of course I'm a hypocrite.  I'm not perfect.  Aren't we all hypocrites at times?  Also, I'm an adult woman who is not easily influenced by the shit I read in those rags.  And I never said "faithful" read of US, I've barely looked at that one.  Plus, if I don't read those magazines then how would I know who to punch?   

We broke a METAL bedframe.  When I was 6 months pregnant  Totally possible even if hubs isn't a vampire lol.  Some people LIKE rough sex - it's kinda refreshing to see someone *not* just "making love" in a movie but getting downright violent.  I think that should be on the list.  Let your daughter know that she's not "weird" for her sexual preference - sex between two consenting adults is not "weird" even if someone's tied up and getting smacked with a riding crop. on Rules for Parents of Daughters

I would like to read your blog.

I married young, I was married and done having kids before I was 20.  We have 2 beautiful daughters that are 8 and 10 and we are coming up on our 9th anniversary.  It's been the best years of my life and I don't regret anything!  While I was making dreams and goals with the love of my life my friends were out getting drunk in the bars and hooking up with numerous guys....I'm not so sure I made the wrong choice here.:)  I'm not saying if you don't get married young you'll be a bar hopper, but I am saying there is nothing wrong with getting married if you know you've found the one. on Rules for Parents of Daughters.

I hear what you're saying here.  These rules are coming from my experience.  I just know that if I'd gotten married at 20 I would not still be married to that person.  I've also seen a lot of my friends get married young and have it not work out vs. my friends who married later in life.  My parents got married in their very early 20s and had kids young and they're still together 40 years later.  It does work for some people, just not sure it would have worked for me so I'm advising my daughter to take her time.  PS - I do envy you for being such a young mother - that's one negative of waiting until I was 30 to get married. 

I love to follow your post...as a father and husband it is great b/c my wife and I can talk about it and laugh at it...and she can 'school' me on what a douche canoe is! on Contact Me

I love that there are some men out there reading the blog.  I'm also glad that you recognize that your wife is a wealth of knowledge. 

So you actually have to make your child lunches when they go to school?  Ah hell, I better start Googling now, 2 years will go by in a flash!  on Lunchbag Competitors

You mean you don't make your 2 year old amazing, interesting and fun lunches now?  The horror.  

Actually, in 2 years the lunch rage will probably be something else, so you might as well wait.
These comments need no reply.  I just love them and agree with them completely.  Preach it!

The difference between raising boys vs. raising girls:  when you have a boy, you only have to worry about one penis.  When you have a girl, you have to worry about ALL of them. on Rules for Parents of Daughters

God, why didn't people write these kinds of things when I was growing up?  My parents could have used a few of these lessons. on Rules for Parents of Daughters

For the salesgirls at a clothing department shop who ask you to sign up for a credit card when they're ringing up your stuff.  I understand you are probably being forced to ask me if I want one, but by the FOURTH time in a row you've asked, you've pushed my bitch-switch (totally stealing this BTW) and I will no longer politely refuse.

SG: Are you using your :insert store card: today?
Me:  No
SG: Would you like to sign up for a card?
Me: No thanks.
SG: Are you sure?  You could save 10% today?
Me: Still no, but thank you.
SG: It will only take a minute to sign you up!
Me: I'm really not interested.
SG: You will receive discounts in the mail if you sign up.
Me: Can anyone hear me or am I just saying no in my head?  For the love of God, STFU!!!! on Got a Punch?

A huge PITT to my male co-workers.  If you cannot hit the toilet, please sit down or clean up after yourself.  I do not enjoy looking at or stepping in your pee.  On the same note, if you decide you need to go #2, please make sure all of your #2 goes down the toilet as I also don't enjoy looking at or smelling what you ate last night. on Got a Punch?

Being stupid is NOT CUTE.  Watch the news.  Keep up with global and local events.  Learn to drive a stick.  Learn to change a tire and check your oil.  Learn basic household maintenance.  Have your own tool box and know how to use the items inside!  Use the internet to find out how to do something instead of just waiting for him to get home to take care of it for you. on Rules for Parents of Daughters


LaurenRitta said...

So about that first item, what I'm reading is "I know what I wrote was incorrect, but I still want as many people to 'get this out there' as possible?" Why? You are funny enough to replace Beyonce/JZ with something truthful.

jmg4486 said...

What she is saying is my legal cousel has advised me not to comment any more on this topic because they have more money than God and can easily destroy her life. Even Mark Zuckerberg isn't willing to take that battle. There is no proof that the story is in fact false just that claims were dropped this is something that money can easily do, much liken renting out a whole floor of a hospital.

Blissfully Discontented said...

Love "Bitch-switch". You know what pushes my Bitch-switch? Use of the word "FML"...totally unleashed a rant on that last night.

Pattyann said...

as for "The difference between raising boys vs. raising girls: when you have a boy, you only have to worry about one penis." you have to remember the with a daughter there is only one uterus and with a son there are many uteri (that's the plural right?). The daughter may end up pregnant, but the son could impregnate more then one girl at a time (I've known this to happen, practically twins with different mothers...). Not to also mention STDs can go either way... Maybe we can just lock them all up until they are mature enough to handle sex and babies!

suzzsuki said...

No...that's not even close to what she said...maybe you should read a few items down on the list about reading closely.

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog and I've been here for hours now. I have to tell you that I absolutely love it! I just subscribed (which I never do, as I have way too many newsletters already). Looking forward to reading more! I'm at http://hardlyahousewifeblog.com.

Kyra said...

Love it.

imprtsigrl said...

Look this is YOUR BLOG, if people do not like what you have to say they dont have to read it. I agree with about 70% of your post and the other things I dont agree with I just get over it. We are ALL DIFFERENT, we think different, we eat different, we have sex different it is just life people. GET OVER IT. I find your blog entertaining and I think for the most part you are just saying what most of us are thinking. Keep doing what you are doing, the haters will hate and let you bother their life cause they have no lives, and the people who love it will laugh and enjoy it and pass the stories on.

Have a good weekend!

Jenn said...

Well said! I dont agree with everything either, but it doesnt make me mad. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And if ya dont like it, dont read it.

Unknown said...

People are so fricking dumb! If you can't roll with the punches, why even waste your enery typing a comment?!

Sarah Elizabeth said...

Love all of your posts and your responses to those comments! Some people need a reality check and to get down off their ridiculously lofty horse.

irishgirlmurphy said...

I get so much enjoyment out of reading everything you post. I haven't disagreed with anything I've read so far, and if I ever do, I most likely won't freak out and post my disagreement on your blog. It's a BLOG - for the love of Mike! It's your words, your opinion and you are entitled to it. Thanks for all of it!

imprtsigrl said...

Thats how I feel. I mean a blog is a blog .... You can post whatever you want to post. Thats the point! =)

If I dont agree I dont comment, or dont read that post. But for the most part this is all very entertaining. I love this blog.

kwoods said...

I have 2 boys and one husband...I totally agree with your list! Bugger off to those who don't! Boys are that way and if you don't teach them young their wives will hate you!

TexasClarks said...

EXACTLY...it is not like they couldn't hit the "back" or "X" button and freaking leave...keep up the great posts.

TexasClarks said...

I enjoy reading your posts and even better when I read something in your weekly wrap up and thought "hey, that is what I would say" only to realize that you used what I wrote in your wrap up...makes me appreciate you that much more better because then I know you REALLY DO READ comments that people put on your blog.

You truly have been great because it gives my wife and I something to laugh about because we enjoy your honest, no frills, "screw you if you don't like my post", and non-apologetic way of being REAL.

I look forward to this upcoming week's post.

jess said...

I have three boys and a husband and I couldn't agree more with your list...boys are kinda gross...just the facts!

Elizabeth said...

Your list for boys is awesome! I hope you weren't really joking, because your rules are brilliant!! YOU are brilliant!!!

lokesh singh said...

yes it is fact those rules are awesome

Manoj Kumar said...

I enjoy reading your posts and even better when I read something in your weekly wrap up and thought "hey, that is what I would say" only to realize that you used what I

Lucky said...

hello to all of you i am so happy to read such kind of rule you discussed here.


kerryb said...


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