More Terrible Kids' Names

Sooooo ... you know how much I loooooove silly names, right? Names like Aighmey and Alicin and Rocco and Jacin (he's Alicin's brother). Well, this week I was introduced to a couple more to add to my growing list I like to keep.


The first one was Clarabelle. As in, "Hey Clarabelle, honey, would you please put on your coat so we can go now? Clarabelle? Put down the toy and get your coat, because I'm ready to go. Come on, Clarabelle, Mommy needs you to listen. Clarabelle? Where are you going, Clarabelle? The door is this way and your coat is still on the hook. Please, Clarabelle." I think Clarabelle needs her hearing checked. Also, I'm pretty sure that's a cow's name. When I asked around, I was assured that it most certainly is a cow's name. Clarabelle was Minnie Mouse's best friend. See? My brain might be fried in some areas, like I'm not sure what I had for breakfast this morning, but as soon as I heard Clarabelle's mommy start talking I started thinking "Moooooooove it, Clarabelle!"

The next one is Dannon. Like the yogurt. Yogurt! That's what I had for breakfast this morning! Thank you for helping me remember, Dannon.

But my favorite is Sexxy. Yeah, it's with two x's. How else would you spell that? It must be a unique spelling, because there could be other Sexy's in the kindergarten class and how else are you going to stand out if you don't put a unique twist on that name? Who looks at a baby and coos, "Hey Sexxy baby"? Even the most mundane greeting sounds creepy when an adult asks a child, "What's up, Sexxy?" Ewww.

I just hope Sexxy's last name isn't Ladies.

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18 comments:

Unknown said...

As soon as I read the name Clarabelle I thought cow. Poor thing.

There is a fine line between unique and weird. Too many parents don't seem to know where that line is. The names that bother me the most are the ones that are deliberately spelled wrong in some lame attempt to be different.

Samantha Jean said...

A friend of mine works at a school with a child named Alcatraz. Yep, as in the prison.

Patty said...

I work in a job where I come across crazy names almost daily. My all-time favorite is Latrine. I'm not making this up. Recently I came across Tomaine. All I could think was "don't date Tomaine...he's POISON"!

mrainey82 said...

I know a kid named Dahmer, pronounced "Dah-meer". Not sure how much of a shot your kid has at success when they are named after one of the most notorious serial killers in history,

terribledad.wordpress.com

Jan Lee said...

A girl in my high school class got married and her last name was then Leer. Her first child, a girl. Child's name? Chanda, pronounced Shanda....Leer. Good grief, lol

mrainey82 said...

I feel for any woman that dates Alcatraz. Good luck getting out of that relationship.

terribledad.wordpress.com

Unknown said...

My name is Rebecca. Probably the most common spelling. But I get Rebbeca, Rebeca(h), Rebecka(h), Rabecca. It's a miracle when it's spelled correctly. I guess now it's expected that everyone have a oddly-spelled name, no matter how old you are.
I used to work with a woman who named her daughter Shy-Anne. I always thought maybe she didn't know how to spell Cheyenne.

Anonymous said...

When I was born Mom was going to name me Rebecca Kay and call me Becky. But said I didn't look like a Becky so decided to name me Mannetta Kay and called me Kay. I hate my first name. She could have stuck with the original name and just called me Kay.

John said...

We decided that our daughter would be named Ruby after both of my grandmothers and one of my great-grandmothers. She happened to be born on a Tuesday. So I said to my wife, let's name her Ruby Tuesday. She said no! then I said, let's name her Ruby Red. She said NO! So we gave her my mother-in-laws middle name, Elaine. So, her name is Ruby Elaine MacFarlane. Talk about rhyming!

Jen Mann said...

So glad your wife nixed Ruby Tuesday. Haha.

Hiccups and Gigglez said...

Clarabelle is also one of Thomas the Tank Engine's carriages. I have a two year old boy… so I watch Thomas, not Minnie Mouse!

JuniperSunshine said...

You probably already know this, but Rebecca is Hebrew, so there really is no "right" spelling. All of them are approximations. In Hebrew it would be spelled R-B-K-H, or even R-V-K-H so perhaps Rebekah or Rivkah is the "right" spelling?

Anonymous said...

A new vendor came in our store yesterday & their rep's name was Crystal Cherry. I thought there was no way this was her legit name but then she called the shop later that day & sure enough on caller ID there it was...."Crystal Cherry." So, being the nosey person that I am, I did some fb digging & found her on there. Sure enough that's her real name. Cherry is her husband's last name but before she got married it wasn't much better. She had her maiden name on her page so before she tied the knot, her name was Crystal Casper. Lol Poor girl.

LED522 said...

I worked with a woman by the name of Angela Dixon. No problem! She married Tim Cox. No problem! Here's the thing, no matter what they would name thier children, They were off to the land of horror as they hyphenated their last name. The are the Dixon-Cox family. KIDS & PARENTS A LIKE!

Unknown said...

Working in a daycare for 10+ years I have seen plenty of jacked up names. My favorite Xzibit pronounced exhibit. Just the other day my daughter had a dr appt and the receptionist was named Sekrit.

Unknown said...

My daughter went to school with an Indian child whose name was pronounced sue-idge, as in sewage - stuff in the sewer. I think it was actually spelled Suage though. I was horrified the first time I heard it and thought, "OMG, what the kids probably do with that one..." I can't remember his older brother's name but it ended in ew-age too.

Janet Ellison said...

Clarabelle was also a clown on Howdy Doody! When we had our first child, my in-laws were insisting that we name our baby after someone in the family. We didn't want to. So we sat down and took a syllable from every relatives' name. Then we sat down with our parents and announced that if we had a boy, we were going to name him "Lovinolster Garcellinor". If it was a girl it would be "Garcellinor Lovinolster". This was met with shocked silence. We had a girl and named her Shannon. Everyone was happy.

Unknown said...

We have a student in my district who is named .......

ABCDE Unique. Ab-sid dee

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