This is the time of year when you can't avoid a "must have" list of holiday gifts to buy for that special certain someone in your life. There are always lists for "Her" with unique and amazing ideas like a tassel key chain or $500 lingerie (I don't think all of my lingerie COMBINED is worth $500). Don't forget "Him" either! How about a $300 iPad cover or an apothecary jar matchstick holder? (For all those times you say, "I just wish I had a beautiful apothecary jar to hold these unsightly matchsticks!")
The thing that I notice about these lists is there is never anything on them that I would actually want. I would be pissed if the Hubs came home with a hand-forged iron paperweight in the shape of a lotus for my desk and he'd divorce me if I bought him the Polaroid Digital Instant camera.
So, for anyone looking for a little something special this holiday for someone like me or the Hubs, I put together a list of "must haves" and I think you'll find them unique and adorable.
1. Jenni Supersoft Poncho. So, this thing is amazeballs. Sure it resembles a muumuu with a hood, but you guys, put this thing on and you will. Not. Care. My grandma bought this for me for Christmas this year. I picked it out. Every year my cousins and I go shopping with my grandma to pick out our presents from her. My cousins are young, single, hip girls. They bought jewelry and handbags with their Christmas money. Not me. I bought this wonderful invention and new slippers. My cousins died a little inside and vowed to never age past 30. But little do they know - forty is when you can get away with wearing a fleece caftan and no one even bats an eye. I'm warm and cozy (because unlike that POS Snuggie this sucker covers your back and has a hood), plus it comes in cool, fun, hip designs. Mine is black (because black is slimming, even in a fleece one size fits all blanket with arm holes) with adorable polka dots!
2. Kindle Fire HD. We are a book loving family. Well, the Hubs isn't. I think he might be illiterate actually. Gomer and I are book lovers. We can read for hours and I really want a Kindle Fire HD to read on (and play Angry Birds Stars Wars on too). The Hubs tells me it can do all sorts of other cool stuff really fast, blah, blah, blah, but I just know that it's cute and I can carry it in my purse and watch "Downton Abbey" on the pick up line at school. Genius!
3. Light Keeper Pro. Don't waste anymore time or money cursing your burned out strands of lights. Zap them into submission and show them who's boss!
4. Bic Lady Pens. On a tight budget? Then, these are the perfect stocking stuffers for every female in your life. Sure they're a bit pricier than the masculine version, but so worth it! I started using one a few months back and you won't believe the smart ideas I come up with now. And my spelling has improved drastically when I write my grocery lists! Do yourself a favor and invest in your daughter's future today - get her a Bic Lady Pen.
5. A Goat from Outreach International. Do you have someone on your list who has everything already? Do you have someone that you never know what to buy? Why don't you buy them a goat? OK, the recipient doesn't actually get the goat, but you buy the goat in their name and then it's donated to a person in need where it provides food, income, and fertilizer. Goats aren't your style? How about chickens? Or toothbrushes? Adolpha wants to buy a latrine this year. My extended family donates every year to a project to build a farm. We do it in honor of my grandfather who passed away a few years ago.
6. Books. Did you think I'd make a wish list without my book on it? Surely, you know me better than that by now! My book Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat would be the best gift for just about anyone on your list. Your best friend, neighbor, kids' teachers, hair stylist, mailman, garbage man, your sister in law, your mother in law, the nanny. Maybe you already have my book and you need some other ideas? No problem. How about Ketchup is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves or you could pre-order Moms Who Drink and Swear: True Tales of Loving My Kids While Losing My Mind.
7. Little Bag of Crap. When you go to the grocery store or the library or the PTO meeting, you need a bag that says "What Are You Looking At?" and a Little Bag of Crap can do that for you. This bag is an instant ice breaker and conversation starter at any playgroup, soccer game or ballet class. It's also the perfect gift for any child in your house who has hoarding tendencies. The superior construction of this bag ensures that they can really fill it full of crap and hide it in the back of the closet or under their bed for years to come!
8. Crocs. I know many of you scoff at my love of Crocs, but out of all of my Three C's of Fashion (Crocs, Cargo pants and Coach (outlet) bags) you can never go wrong with a pair of Crocs! No matter what the occasion, there is a perfect pair of rubbery flats, wedges, flip flops or fuzzy slip ons! Plus, I gotta love any shoe company that lists Duck Boots in their "Dress" section! Those are my people right there.
9. Meggings. This is for the hip and trendy man on your list this year. I realize the Hubs doesn't fall even remotely near that category, but he has the knobby knees and twiggy, bony legs this fashion statement requires - nay, demands. For once the Hubs could be on the cutting edge of style and fashion. He could pour himself into this skin tight abomination and make the men of our neighborhood jealous and the women swoon. He could proudly strut his spindly stuff and know that for the next week or so he is rocking a style that very few men can pull off.
10. Honda Odyssey Touring Elite. I haven't given up my envy of you minivan driving moms. My little taste of minivan heaven I got this summer wasn't enough to deter me from my wanton desires for slidey doors, a ridiculous amount of cupholders, a split screen television and wireless headphones. I wish I could have one just so I could put my bad ass minivan bumper sticker on it along with my 0.0 miles sticker.