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Bic for Her Pens

Today I heard about the most stupid fucking pen on the planet.  The Bic for Her.  (I know, I know, I'm a little late to this party.  I've been under a rock lately and I missed this one.)


Yup, the pen maker Bic has decided that their regular pens are not good enough for a woman.  Or maybe they think they're too good.  Or too complicated.  Or too ugly.  Or too masculine.  Or something like that.  I actually don't know why they got the idea to make a pen specifically for women.  Does that mean that all other pens are made for men?  Ugh.  That is just way too deep for me to wade into and it makes my head hurt.  So instead, I'll just imagine how this meeting of the minds went:

Man 1:  Gentlemen, I'd like to call this meeting to order.  Our first agenda item is the pressing need I've seen for a pen designed specifically for women and I'm happy to report we are on track with our developments to meet that market.

Man 2:  Wait.  What?

Man 1:  Has your wife not complained?

Man 2:  I'm not married.

Everyone:  Ohhhh.  

Man 3:  Yes, well that makes sense then.  All of our wives won't stop complaining about the regular ballpoint pens we bring home.

Man 2:  What is there to complain about?

Man 1:  They're too hard to hold.

Man 3:  They're embarrassing to be seen with.

Man 4:  They're ugly colors.

Man 5:  They clash with her clothes.

Man 3:  They're bulky and masculine.

Man 2:  I see.  I don't know.  I may not be married, but I have lots of female friends and I've never heard anything like this.

Man 1:  You're joking, right?

Man 2:  No.  Not at all.

Man 3:  It's a real problem and we're the only pen company taking it on.  Women will send us thank you cards -

Man 4:  Written with a pen designed just for her needs!

Man 3:  Of course!

Man 2:  OK, so what does the new lady pen look like?

Man 1:  Uhh...we're thinking of calling it the Bic for Her.  "Lady pen" is a bit degrading, don't you think?

Man 2:  Oh, sorry. 

Man 1:  It's OK, just please be respectful of the ladies who will buy this pen.

Man 2:  Fine.  What is it like?  What makes it womanly?  Can I say that?

Man 4:  Oh, it's awesome!  It's pink - 

Man 3:  Or purple!

Man 1:  Right.  Actually, pink, purple, peach.  All colors women like.

Man 3:  It's retractable.

Man 4:  Y'know, that way she has fewer steps before writing.

Man 1:  Anything to make life easier for her is good in my book!

Man 5:  And no caps to lose.

Man 1:  My wife is always losing the caps to our pens!

Man 3:  Don't forget the best part:  the fun comfort grip.

Man 1:  Women like to have fun when they're writing.

Man 3:  And it's comfortable - bonus!

Man 2:  How much will they cost?

Man 1:  Well, now that's the thing.  It's going to be a bit more than our other pens.

Man 4:  About twice as much.

Man 2:  How come?

Man 3:  That fun comfort grip doesn't come cheap!

Man 1:  And we put a lot of money into product development.  Coming up with feminine colors and the solution to all those lost pen caps...it cost us a lot in R & D.

Man 5:  Plus, it's the first and only of it's kind.  We're trailblazers!  The ONLY pen designed just for women.  Women will pay for that!

Man 2:  What about men?  What if they want to buy it?

Man 1:  Why would he want to do that?  Is he a pussy or something?

Read the hilarious reviews about this pen here and here.

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81 comments:

  1. "hopefully a range of "for her" paperclips is on the horizon"

    " available in 50 shades of grey"

    The responses are all brilliant, some had me laughing out loud.
    A pen for women .. when I read that, I thought I was still dreaming I was back in the 50s and going to have to look for a new split level with a yard for the 1.2 children and pet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If they were truly pens for women then they too would be "available in 50 shades of grey". LMAO!!!

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    2. They already make paper clips. Heart shapes, butterflies, on and on. lol

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  2. Every so often I see a product supposedly 'for her' and I am instantly sure that it was designed and marketed by a team of all men, because surely a woman would have laughed in their faces.

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  3. So, I actually know someone who bought these. She sent me a picture of them, and her text read, "look at the pretty pens I just got." Are you serious?

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    Replies
    1. I hope you unfriended her on FB for that! lol

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  4. Golly gee! My very own pen?! Glory be, I can throw away my rock and stone tablet and finally start that novel.

    Is it for me just because its pink? Does it clean house, take care of the kids, change diapers, make dinner? Cause that would really be the pen for me.

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    Replies
    1. When you find THAT pen I want to be the 2nd to know!

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  5. I wonder if it is specially designed to dot your i's with little hearts or stars.

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  6. Makes as much sense as Always, have a happy period, like that's gonna freaking happen

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  7. Well I don't buy pens. Whoever hands me a pen to sign just lost that pen. I'm the world's greatest pen thief. I have a mason jars and little heart shaped jars all over my house as testament to my unconscious kleptomania. That is the only way one of these little manly invented totally unnecessary writing instruments will make it into my home or purse.

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  8. Ooooohh!!! Does it have GLITTERY ink??? Oh, look, something shiny.......ROFl!!!!

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  9. that lady pen will go great with my magic vagina ... wonder if R&D took place in Missouri?

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    Replies
    1. You just won the internet.

      $50 says the head of R&D is Todd Akin.

      Delete
  10. If it's just for her, shouldn't it be ribbed? Maybe then I'll buy it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TOO Funny - but probably not - those fringe republican r&d engineers don't "really" believe in pleasure for women.

      But as luck would have it, the grip on my gel pen on my desk is indeed ribbed! You may be on to something!

      Delete
    2. I noticed after writing that, my purple gel pen grip is also ribbed. Papermate had me in mind WAY before Bic and didn't feel the need to insult me.

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  11. That lady pen should be framed along with the pictures of the asshats who designed it... A little caption underneath
    Bic for her
    Price raping women worldwide...

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  12. Actually maybe I DO want one that way it won't be taken with the checkbook by my husband and then I will be finally able to find a pen around when I need one
    .

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  13. Well, at least they're acknowledging we need pens.

    This kinda reminds me of an incident at the major computer manufacturer where I worked. In partnership with a famous fashion designer, they'd released a maroon-colored laptop with a floral design and a matching carrying-case. It was pretty, and it was being marketed to the fashion-conscious. Another version was in 'sleek black.'

    That's all fine and good, but when it was introduced to employees, the presenter said it was being marketed to women because, "They like pretty things and it will fit nicely into their purses." No mention of the computer's technical specs or usefulness. I guess the presenter didn't think processing speed or wifi capabilities were important to girls who were probably just using the laptop to shop online, anyway.

    On the other hand, he used the black one to talk about the technical specs, which were identical to the maroon computer's. Only difference was the price, which was higher for the designer version.

    The sad thing is that the company itself was usually very progressive and had women in high leadership positions. Don't know how this one wingnut slipped through, except maybe he wasn't given any cultural education after he was promoted out of his country of birth.

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  14. Or maybe this is their way of charging a premium for pink pens without having to fork over the extra to Komen?

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  15. I really didn't like how you bashed it, then try to give one away. Um, sponosored post? I know you have to make the spnosored post fit in with your sarcastic-themed posts, but it seems a bit hypocrite-ish. Anyhow, I agree, stupid idea for a pen!

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  16. Maybe they had extra feminine razor packaging left over & decided to put it to use by filling with pens. :P

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  17. I actually own these pens. Not because I feel the need to announce that I have a vagina, but because these were the only pens left in the college bookstore and my normal, gender neutral pen died right before my Litigation class. What was even better was my big-burly-bear-of-a-man-professor's pen died during class, so he borrowed my purple-barrel pen and then refused to give it back because he said it was the best pen he ever used... :)

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  18. Surprised they aren't being handed out at the Republican National Convention, for all the menfolk to take home to the little lady.

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    Replies
    1. Wow that's nasty, bitchy and completely off the mark.

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    2. Jenne, you should watch "The Onion News"s coverage of the RNC!! Hysterical.

      And J, I don't think it is completely off the mark to make a statement like she did. OF course not all Republicans have this backward thinking regarding women, but a LOT of them do. I'm surprised that they are still aloud to speak for all of the shit that has been falling out of their mouths lately. Someone in that group has to be thinking, "SHUT the fuck up! Stop talking about women. We are going to lose!"

      Delete
    3. Well said Tanya, well said!

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  19. Available in self-defense products now, too!
    (https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=422708501123383&set=a.355662811161286.89105.338916836169217&type=1&theater)

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  20. Does it vibrate? It should...

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  21. If it double as a tampon, then it's a Lady Pen. Otherwise, fpppt Bic, you assholes.

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  22. I love that you posted this! Hilarious! When I first saw the commercial, it didn't bother me that they made pens for girls...what did bother me, was that the "Bic for her" line totally made me think of "condoms for her," or "KY gel--for her." Am I the only one with a dirty mind about this? I think not....

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  23. They were already pink and purple pens available to buy, so why do the need for a bic for her now, it is ridiculous.

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  24. I just spit out my coffee...

    When I went to college, my dad gave me the "Do It Herself" tool kit. With "smaller grips for delicate female hands." Seriously. Because nothing says "I'm a confident, strong woman" like a pink hammer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, you poor thing! Fortunately, my dad encouraged--no, expected--me to be able to use "regular" tools! But that does bring up a sore point with me. WHY does every product designed for women have to be either pink or purple? I hate pink and purple. What about a nice teal now and then? Burgundy, even?

      Delete
  25. The comments on the links you gave were HILARIOUS!!! Thank you for the much needed laugh this morning!

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  26. put a vibrator on it and I'll buy, but until then... it's still just a pen.

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  27. That just may be more insulting than the new Legos for girls.

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    Replies
    1. Oh god. I mocked the crap out of girl lego when it was introduced. Not a year later, my 7 year old keeps begging for it. The market is there, in my household, where it was certainly not encouraged.

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    2. Pshh. Girl legos were around years ago. Had a set around 5 years old and never played with them. I am 24 now...

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  28. News to me... Just like lady razors. If you have tried your man's razor it works 100% better than the lady razors. Why do they think we need a pretty colored anything? The last 3 cars we have bought the sales guy talked mechanics with my husband then asked what color I liked. I told him he better talk mechanics with me because my husband would be deployed fighting for his right to sell me a color and not a car. Assholes!

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    Replies
    1. Ohmygoodness- you read my mind! All I could think when I read this post was- "Damn those Bic people- maybe they are recycling all the handles from their 'for Her' razors."

      Delete
    2. I think you nailed it! They are taking all the plastic from the razors we don't buy and manufacturing purdy colored pens! The women executives of Bic must have hit their glass ceiling :)

      Delete
  29. I already have a pen my husband won't use . . . it has "Viagra" written in large letters down the side. My SIL who works in a pharmacy got it from a drug rep (that's my story and I'm sticking to it).

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  30. And in beautiful irony, the ad at the bottom of the comments was for PaperMate pens. Apparently they're the most stolen pens @Debratheiss, do you have any inkjoy pens in your stash?

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  31. Well living and working in a male environment... I might at last get to keep my very own pens!!!! Best idea EVER!

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  32. Ok....so if the "Lady Pen" is flesh colored, ribbed, had a sort of bump at the end and vibrated...then IT WOULD BE AWESOME!!!!! What a stupid, stupid idea. Obviously a bunch of Neaderthals come up with that one.

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  33. Bic Cristal? A pen for women who name their kid Crystal "with an i".

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  34. What in the hell? No words. There just aren't any.

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  35. That is perhaps the most patronising thing I've heard in a long while! Screw you, Bic!

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  36. OK-I just tweeted you! Here is the story: I continually am being referred to as "office girl" in my job. I work for a tiny water utility as one of 3 employees. My background is corporate finance, so I am quite unaccustomed to this unprofessional type of behavior that I hear all the time. I would love to mock them by having a "lady pen".

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  37. I actually think they're pretty. :)

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  38. You're not the only one under a rock... I had NO idea, but I'll tweet you why I deserve one and I should probably win.

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  39. I used to work at a place that required we provided OUR OWN pens. Oh how I wish I had these lady pens then! My pens would not have gone missing. I did bring in purple and green ink pens but got in trouble... Oh well!

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    Replies
    1. I always put red caps on my black & blue ink pens. Nobody steals those. Works like a charm.

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  40. Maybe it vibrates! hahahaha!

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  41. I already have a lady pen. It is a slim black pen with a small penis on the end. It also doubles as an "I have one too" pen. It keeps me thinking girly thoughts,"real" men leave it alone and it helps keep me on a level playing field with male counterparts. Best for her pen I have had! Bic - I know how to light a fire!

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  42. You have to read the Amazon.com reviews on this thing! They are hilarious!

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  43. I agree, but there is obviously a market for it, and they are the ones laughing, all the way to the bank, at our redneck asses for buying the stupid shit. (not me, though I am a redneck, I did not buy this and was referring to a general group of wal-mart people) They are cute, and I would use it if someone gave it to me (I heart pink!), but it is absolutley stupid to market it this way! The reviews are hilarious!
    Devan

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  44. A recent study showed women using the Bic for Her pens were actually faking their writing 80% of the time.

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  45. I just tried Tweeting you, but because I don't have a laptop for HER, I wasn't sure if it worked correctly. I am completely useless without my made for HER products, I just couldn't survive. These man products are just killing me and rendering me useless. I struggle everyday with the strain of trying to figure out which end of my pen the cap goes on, where the little silver stick goes in my MAN car to make it move and even my nail salon is in on it with the stupid MANicures that they try to give me when I go to get my acrylics filled. Thank GOD I have a pink mop, broom and feather duster or my house would be in shambles! My husband also surprised my daughter and I with a PINK TOOL KIT several years ago, so thankfully, I can get by with a little help from my pink screwdrivers and hammer! This WOE-MAN NEEDS some Bics for HER...they just might enable me to break through the glass ceiling and move up in my job. Right now, I fetch coffee and patch calls through to my boss. It's all I can do without a pink telephone or coffee maker.

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  46. My kids kept asking me why I was laughing outloud but I knew they wouldn't understand all the hilarious reviews about pens envy, dildos, tampons and pregnancy tests. They were mad they couldn't be in on the joke. Seriously though, I prefer bic pens because they write right every time and i do hate those damn caps and the hard unshaped shaft - So they were half on track but they should have called them bic pens for teen girls who love one-direction.

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  47. Women shouldn't waste time writing things, it distracts from what they should be doing...pleasing their man.

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  48. Another brilliant post. I'm so glad I'll finally have something to write the shopping list with. I've been using my lipstick up until this point, silly me.

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  49. I bought these. Because they're pretty and I'm a fool for marketing ploys. They suck and don't even write in purple or pink, just boring black. They also don't taste like chocolate so I don't see how they can legally advertise that they're made for women.

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  50. I won't lie, I saw these in the store and I immediately wanted them. Go ahead and punch me in the throat, I will probably end up helping to keep these around.

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  51. You need to find the amazon reviews for these. I saw a screenshot of them (not sure if they were a parody) but they're spit-your-coffee-out funny!

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  52. http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/arts-post/post/bic-lady-pens-unleash-amazon-snarkfest/2012/08/29/85c06a14-f1e3-11e1-adc6-87dfa8eff430_blog.html

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  53. I think this product has been a long time coming. Other pens I have used were uncomfortable and caused cramping. With my new 'Lady Pen', writing with my twat has never been easier!! Thanks Bic!!

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  54. OMG! I TOTALLY FREAKING BOUGHT THESE!! When I was shopping for back to school I saw them, thought they were HILARIOUS and had to have one!!

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  55. Ok, ok. Is it dishwasher safe?!

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  56. It is so she can take notes when reading this book!

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2200260/Internet-self-help-books-target-women.html

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  57. I laughed till I cried reading this. I typically hate any campaign that is "for her."
    But I did actually purchase some of these pens and they actually do have a "for her" feature that I do enjoy. They are the only pens that my (male) bosses do not take and forget to return to my desk. Thus, I always have a pen.

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  58. Laughing about this because I just opened my desk drawer and saw a pink pen. I checked. Yes it is a Bic, for Her. Even my 6th grade students must use them (and leave them in my classroom).

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  59. I wonder how much more creative Virginia Woolf might have been if she had thought to ask for a lady pen instead of a room!

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