DFP

FB

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

My Rules for MOMS at Playdates

A few months ago I came up my list of rules for playdates for KIDS.  Many of you asked me for rules for playdates for MOMS.  These are the rules I came up with.

Keep in mind, these are rules for the moms on the periphery of my children's social scene.  There are many moms who I am close to and whose children play with mine very often (I'm looking at you Sandy, Sherry, Mary, Jamie, Misty, etc.).  We don't need rules, because we're all normal with one another.  I do not want these mothers to think these rules are for them, because they are not.  

1.  Be on time.  For drop off and/or pick up.  If you're late for drop off, my kid is anxious and he's worried your kid might not be coming.  He's excited and ready to play and he's driving me crazy with "When will Xavier be here??"  I don't know, sweetie, Xavier's asshat mommy never called to say she was running late. That being said, if you're going to be late for either drop off or pick up, I'd prefer drop off.  Most of the time, a couple hours is perfect and I don't need Xavier hanging around for four hours wondering what's for dinner.


2.  Don't take away the playdate as a punishment for bad behavior.  My kid is looking forward to playing with your kid and the last thing I need is for you to call me to cancel 20 minutes before I'm supposed to drop my kid off.  I'm sorry your kid was a twat and I commend you for having consequences, but don't upset my kid.  Figure out another punishment.

3.  When you are the hostess - provide a kid-friendly snack.  It doesn't need to be Doritos, but my kids will never belly up to the table for slices of avocado and cups of soy milk.  How about an apple and a glass of water?  I used to belong to a playgroup with a leader who had quite the opinion about snacks.  She felt like no one should have a snack and the rest of us felt like there should definitely be snacks.  This was back when we all had toddlers.  We expected the hostess (we all took a turn hosting) to provide a kid-friendly snack AND a mom-friendly snack (no, not booze, but I don't think anyone would have turned down a mimosa had it been offered).  After this woman took charge and banned snacks, the attendance of the playgroups plummeted.  Coincidence?  I don't think so.


4.  If you're not the hostess - leave your snack at home.  Unless your kid has a life threatening allergy, do not insult me by sending a "healthy" snack with your kid.  I am not an idiot.  I'm not going to serve your kid Cocoa Puffs, Mountain Dew and Fun Dip.  I might give them a treat, but isn't that what playdates are about?  It's a special occasion and sometimes it's fun to splurge a little.  Maybe have a Popsicle on a hot day or warm homemade cookies on a cold one?  (Ha!  Who am I fooling?  I've never made homemade cookies, but sometimes I think about making them during a playdate.)  Don't be so uptight.  It's one afternoon.

5.  If you are the hostess - have a plan.  My kids are 5 and 7 now and pretty much entertain their friends when they're over.  However, within an hour I will most certainly hear:  "I'm bored." or "So and so is being bossy and won't play what I want to play."  Have a few ideas that you can bust out if it gets tense or else all hell is going to break loose.  Hint:  No one ever says "Nah" to a water gun battle - remember, just not in the house.

6.  Tell me if my kid was an asshole at your house.  I don't live in a bubble.  I know that my kids can be bratty.  Don't hide it from me.  Please tell me so I can deal with them.  I'm not going to get mad at you unless you tell me some bullshit like:  "Percy was a complete angel, he was just working on his multiplication tables and writing a letter to the impoverished family we've adopted in Guatemala when Gomer came out of nowhere and hit him in the head with a Nerf sword.  Poor Percy, I've never seen him cry like that.  It just broke his heart to have his friend treat him so badly."  My guess is if Percy really got whacked over the head with a Nerf sword, he whacked Gomer in the 'nads first.  Now, if it was Adolpha I heard this about...I'm just not sure.  She might have sneaked up on her letter-writing friend and ambushed her.  You never can tell with that girl.

7.  Turn off the TV.  A few video games is OK and can be fun on a playdate, but don't let the kids sit there and veg out watching "My Little Pony."

8.  Be the adult.  I realize you want the playdate to be fun, but I'll tell you what I tell my kids: make good choices.  If the kids ask to build a fort, you should say "Yes."  If they ask to use power tools to build the fort, you should say "No."  


Mom, can we play on the roof?  NO.


9.  When I come to pick up my kid, please know that it isn't adorable when your kid tries to invite herself to my house - for later that same day.  Am I the only one this happens to?  Our kids have just spent 2 hours together having a great time.  I arrive to pick up my child and the hostess' kid whines, "Can I come home with you now and keep playing with Adolpha?"

The hostess stands there with a stupid smile on her face.

"No," I say. "you just had a playdate with Adolpha.  We'll have you over sometime soon.  I promise."

The kid won't be assuaged.  She keeps it up, "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?  Can't I come right now?  Can I mom?"

The mom (still smiling stupidly) says, "Well, you don't have anything until dinner tonight at 7:30."

7:30?  I put my kids to bed at 6:30.

"Yeah, tonight won't work.  Sorry."

"Oh, Ginger, I'm sorry, but it looks like Adolpha's mom doesn't understands how much you enjoy playing with Adolpha."

"I love Adolpha," the kid says.

"Yes.  I understand that.  Just not today.  Another day," I say looking at the hostess for a little back up.  I am met with a vacant smile.  "Get your shoes, Adolpha!"

"Hey Gingy, it's OK.  I just don't think Adolpha's mom has time today."

"Maybe tomorrow?" the kid asks.

"Ohhh, good idea, Ginger.  Good problem solving.  What do you think, Adolpha's mom?"

Tomorrow?  Are you fucking kidding me with this?

"No, not tomorrow.  Adolpha has plans tomorrow.  We'll call you in a couple of weeks.  Get your shoes, Adolpha.  Now."

The final two rules are a bit tough to follow, but try and stick with me.  I am really picky and I think it's hard for some mothers to figure out what I want, but here goes.

10.  Don't be an asshole when we see each other - oh and don't pretend you didn't see me and then suddenly now you see me because that's bullshit.  Our kids are friends.  You and I have mutual friends.  You've seen me on more than one occasion now and you know my name.  It won't kill you to be polite and say fucking hello.  I'm not asking for dinner and a movie, I'm just looking for some fucking civility while I'm waiting for my kids to put their shoes on.

11.  Don't be a phony baloney.  Yeah, our kids seem to enjoy one another's company, but to be honest, you and I have nothing in common other than we both gave birth in the same year.  You don't like me anymore than I like you, so let's not pretend we are BFFs at cheer camp.  Just say hello, make a little small talk about how busy you are and how fast the summer/school year/Christmas break is going and
let's move on.  




OK, what did I forget?  Let's hear your rules.

209 comments:

  1. 2 BFFs at cheer camp....I LOVE it!

    ReplyDelete
  2. These are perfection!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ahahahaha!!! I love this post...I don't let my kids have playdates with kids who's parents I don't like because I don't want to have to deal with them.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am going to post these rules on my front door.

    ReplyDelete
  5. May I add one? If your child has allergies and the playdate or sleepover involves meals it's appropriate to send food over. However, sending your kid with a box of pasta is inconsiderate on so many levels. Especially if he's allergic to everything I have on hand that goes on said pasta and he's going to insist on french fries anyway. If your kid is high maintenance when it comes to meals and snacks, prepare them ahead of time. I don't mind revving up the microwave. Just don't send over a box of pasta, with no instruction or assistance, and think I'll be happy to play short order cook for the evening.

    Sorry. I got a bit ranty.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I get what your saying but be careful with labeling a kid "high maintenance" because of a medical issue that could kill them. That makes you an asshat.

      Delete
    2. My kid has an allergy that can kill them. I would never send a box of pasta with no instructions. That is just stupid and deserves a punch. There should be clear instructions or food sent to take the pressure off of the parents. Kids understand that the other kid has allergies and might eat something different. It is hard to deal with these issues, I know it, so I want to take the food pressure off of those gracious enough to have my kid over. I'm not saying you are dumb by sending food, I'm saying it took me 12 years to get to the point I am now with his food, it's hard to figure out right away.

      Delete
    3. I agree! I have a a friend who's kids all have special needs when eating, thankfully I love her to death and don't mind working around her kids' needs, but if you just sent a box of uncooked pasta without more info, and I didn't know you that well....I might lose my shit. @Anonymous, I don't think Deb is an asshat for calling a kid with allergies High maintnance, they are high maintnance, you always have to be alert for them and know what's going on, and for someone who's kids aren't allergic to anything, it can be daunting. If the parent drops off without instructions, she's allowed to be mad. Guessing from your reply, you either have or work closely with kids with allergies and you sound like you are the rare super responsible parent, that wouldn't ever drop your kid off with a box of uncooked pasta and no instructions.

      Delete
    4. Yep...gotta say, as a mom of a kid with a life threatening allergy, it is a high anxiety event to send my son to anyone's house. It's not being 'high maintenance' - it's being 'here's something that I have provided for you to feed my kid so you don't kill him.' Frankly, maybe you shouldn't have that kid over anymore if it's too much trouble for you to safeguard his health by putting a pot on to boil.

      Delete
    5. B...you know what looking back on this is was my first defensive response. I have a child with life threantening nut allergues and would never send her over without specific instructions. It makes me sad when ,y kid gets lumped into "problems on playdates" because already feels different. My thing is this...if you invite my child over, and in the back of your head you are thinking "when is this child leaving they are so high maintanence" then dont inte her over. Because I dont want her around you anyway. But I agree that instructions should always be given.

      Delete
    6. B, I would agree with you. I absolutely don't mind having kids over with food allergies BUT if you tell me your kid can't have wheat, dairy and soy and "oh yeah, no more fruit today because it will cause diarrhea" (WTF, will he eat carrots?) you need to send something they can eat. And if you send that box of pasta please leave me a list of things your child can and WILL eat with it. I offer my children complete meals. Pasta by itself isn't a meal and you can't assume I have what your child needs diet wise. Or better yet, I can be accommodating, tell me ahead of time and I will make sure I have something planned they can eat. I will agree as well that there have been times that I go to the extra effort to prepare what said child can eat and they will only eat french fries. But that goes for kids without allergies as well... I don't think poorly of kids with allergies but sometimes it is the parents that make it more high maintenance than necessary by not providing enough heads up or info. After the 10th visit I'm sure we've figured some things out, but on the first time, help another mom out!

      Delete
    7. This is amusing. Did anyone actually read B's comment? Parents need to give instructions to other parents if their children have food allergies, especially if they're life threatening. Y'all are saying the SAME thing. Guess satire doesn't translate well for everyone.

      Delete
    8. I apologize for the high maintenance remark and for coming off as insensitive, because that's not my intention. The last thing I want is for anyone to get severely ill, or worse, on my watch.

      However, just as my remark might have been asshat-y (and I admit to said asshattery) it's equally as asstastic to send someone over with a box of pasta and no clue as to how to prepare it. Especially when the child in question is allergic to both tomatoes and dairy. It's not as easy as boiling a pot of water if the kid won't eat plain pasta and there's nothing in the house to put on the pasta that the child can eat.

      My son is a pain in the butt when it comes to eating. Sometimes it's easier for me to make up something for him than to expect the host parent to scrounge around looking for whatever will satisfy him.

      So again, I apologize for being so insensitive. I'm just sick of making pasta for a child who refuses to eat it.

      Delete
    9. I'm pretty sure every last one of you are taking life, internet, and blogs far too seriously. hurl.

      Delete
    10. Since when is pasta not a full meal? You're being too fancy. It's one frickin' meal out of one day. Sheesh.

      Delete
  6. Love it all with the exception of #2. Sorry that your kid is looking forward to hanging out with my kid. But, if my kid decides to be a little jerkface, his fun is O-V-E-R.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Totally agree! Cancelling a playdate is the worst punishment for my kid, and I'll do it. Of course it punishes me and the friend, but my kids take me seriously once I cancel their fun time. Sorry, friend. :(

      Delete
    2. this and I feel awful doing it and use it as a last result. But if my child isn't listening, isn't responding well to time out, playdates, birthday parties and anything else fun are out of the question

      Delete
    3. Agree wholeheartedly! Sometimes bad behavior requires use of the big guns...and there's little that's more effective than taking away a playdate or sleepover. Frankly, if the kid misbehaved to the extent that his mom wanted to take away his playdate, would you really WANT him over at your house? And wouldn't that mom be one of those over-indulgent, pushover moms you love to criticize? Teach your kid how to deal with disappointment and get the hell over it.

      Delete
    4. Yeowzer...I'm with all of you on this one!!! And, I've done it. A couple times. The worst was when my "angel" slapped a kid at camp...so I wouldn't let her go to one of her best friend's birthday parties...but still made her deliver the gift we bought face to face at the door!!! She cried the rest of the day. Talk about a punishment that worked WONDERS. Sorry, but kids need to learn, and taking away the one thing they love the most -playing with friends- is the perfect punishment. Couldn't care less about an "inconvenienced Mom"...I care more about teaching my child right from wrong, so next time she comes to your house she'll be well mannered and respectful...and you won't want to punch me in the throat. :)

      Delete
    5. Totally agree! I'm sorry if punishing my kid ruins your kid's day, but that's the way it's going to be. We have left in the middle of play dates (due to my child misbehaving) and have also been asked to leave (due to the other child misbehaving). It's just one of the many disappointments kids will have to learn to deal with!

      Delete
    6. And the flip side: I've cut a playdate short and taken a bratty kid home when the mom dropped her off and said, "she's been a little handful this morning, but I'm sure everything will be fine.". Nope, no way am I going to put up with someone else's kid who should be at home taking a nap or having a time out. If your kid is having a bad day, don't make my day bad, just so you can have a break.

      Delete
    7. As a "victim" of number two,I disagree.don't tell me for 2 days your kid is going to an outing with mine and get my kid excited and then email me an HOUR before we leave saying so and so did not clean their room so they cannot go.thats not my problem or my kids.

      Delete
  7. To go along with #9, I've learned to always pick my children up from the friend's house. Nothing like my daughter coming in with her friend & the mom speeding away from the house. I don't even know if the mother stopped the car or just hit 5 mph & made them tuck & roll. Apparently, mom had a date that night & decided I could watch her child. Not one of the girl's family members would answer the phone and the mom showed up at 6 pm the following night.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Um, WOW. I definitely would have taken some drastic measures, there... that's TERRIBLE!

      Delete
    2. LOVE! LOVE! Your rules! I have these issues too! Also would like to add, do not send you kids over (neighbor kids, aged 6&8)to my house for hours on end multiple times per week with out so much as calling or coming over to check that it's ok and without any reciprocation!I am talking 12 hours sometimes, and it seems you are assuming we are feeding them meals. I should not have to ask if my kids can come over to your house this time! It's common courtesy! Also these kids told us how there mom said our house was filthy! We are constantly having these kids show up even on holidays and st family gatherings! We had them show up at my don's b'day party we were having in the backyard uninvited also!The kids are constantly saying that there mom doesn't like having people over because the house will get messed up. Also we have been told how she liked to relax and nap all the time. We gave been feeling resentful and used for a couple of years now! So selfish! Believe it or not, other people like to relax too. We hardly ever get a Chance to relax between the kids, our jobs, housework and entertaining extra kids all the time!! Sorry I am definitely venting right now. This id a very sensitive subject for me!!Also did I mention we have received no acknowledgement, thank you'd or any form of appreciation! Life just goes on like nothing ever happened and the millions of hours we have spent entertaining, cooking ,extra food and cleaning extra messes us never mentioned by these parents! Anyone out there dealt with anything like this Advice is appreciated! Please!

      Delete
  8. I have another rule: if I am picking up your kid at 12:30 or 1:00, please do not expect me to feed them lunch! Last week I let each of my older kids have a play date at the same time, picked the kids up and NEITHER had eaten lunch!

    Oh wait one more: if you are not planning to bring my child home at a reasonable hour, please do feed her SOMETHING! I'm not that picky, but my kids eat dinner between 5 and 6, I realize not everyone does but, if you bring her home at 8, I do expect that she would have eaten. Something.all.day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My daughter has a friend whose family does this. Everytime she's at my house she's asking for a snack or can she eat dinner with us or whatever and it's fine if I have enough dinner to share. But when my kid is over at THEIR house she's been told more than once to just go outside on the swings and wait while ____ finishes her dinner. Then K comes home at 8 and is starving. So not cool.

      Delete
    2. This makes me so mad to read. How could ANY parent treat ANY child like this?! PUNCH TO THE THROAT. TWICE.

      Delete
  9. I'm just so thankful that at ages 7 and 10 the parents of my kids' best friends are all people I love to hang out with!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen to that! My son's best friends are his Cub Scout buddies, and we have a FANTASTIC group of parents, for which I am eternally grateful, especially after reading some of these horror stories! :-/

      Delete
  10. Can we add just drop off and leave? I am not here to entertain mom, the desperate housewife, I have shit to do. I invited your kid to keep my kid busy so I can get my shit done. I have NO desire to sit and chat because we are like #11. Enjoy your 3 hours off, leave me the fuck alone, and don't be late. Oh...and thanks so much for the microwave popcorn that is now all over my fucking house and in my couch cushions. How fricken thoughtful!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. seriously!!! drop and run, bitches!!!!

      Delete
    2. Lol I wish there was a "Like" button for this comment!

      Delete
    3. I want to like this comment too! My daughter is 10...she does not need (or want) me to walk her to your door and I am sure you daughter agrees. Drop them off, hang out in the drive until she is in the house fine. But no need to spend the next 30 min in my entryway telling me about your day.

      Delete
    4. This is so true!! I would like to be nice and make contact with the parent when dropping off my kids. But lets give eachother the wave and be done. I have been held hostage by several mom's and dad's who talk like they have been in solitary prison for the last 10 years. Find a friend~ it's not me!!! But you can't be a jerk because these are people you will know for the next several years and so you stand there and be gracious while you are slowly dying inside :)

      Delete
  11. #10 resonates in my small town! What snobs! I thought it was me~ I am so glad I found you, I feel like there is a voice of reason out there. A funny voice! My kids are now 11 and 13 and your blogs sometimes bring back fond memories

    ReplyDelete
  12. #12 Unless your kid is still in diapers, playdates involve dropping one kid off at the other kid's house. I am more than happy to have your kid for the afternoon. Or to let you have mine. But I have no desire to spend 2+ hours having a playdate with YOU. I'm sure you are lovely, but I have laundry to do and dinner to make, and I really dont have the desire to make my house "mommy playdate" clean.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I would like to add, Please introduce yourself if this is the first time your child is coming over. I had a girl come over to play with my 10 year old and her mother didn't even get out of the car. Really? Wow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That happens all the time! I get out if I have never met my 15 yr old's friends parents. Its just plain common sense.

      Delete
  14. How about this: Just because you have two kids, doesn't mean I want them both to come over. We invited one and I don't care if it hurts the other one's feelings if it's not invited too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AMEN! My 9yr old daughter plays with your 8 yr old daughter. Do not send your 4 yr old destructive son to my house because he wants to come with Sissy. I will send them both back.

      Delete
    2. Seriously! This should be LAW not a rule! My creepy neighbor (imagine a 7' Randy Quaid with a dumb expression and NO PEOPLE SKILLS) showed up one day, randomly, to "inform" me that since his oldest son was allowed to come over to play he was going to HAVE TO send his 4 yr old over too because "it isn't fair that his brother gets to have all the fun".

      Then he proceeds to tell me that I OWE HIM because his 4 yr old ran out of his house, while his parents were sleeping and he was supposed to be entertaining himself (great parenting there douchebag), and he had gone to the other end of the street and couldn't remember where he lived or anything so the people at this house he showed up at went door to door trying to find his house. They were just about to call the police when they finally got to right house and the kid recognized their vehicle in the driveway). His dad then tells me it wouldn't have happened if he just sent both of them over to my house for a few hours. REEEALLY? I thought it was incredibly nice of me to let one of your children come over and play for a couple hours, not to mention dealing with the constant nagging about drinks and snacks from the time he gets here until the time he leaves, I didn't know this obligated me to have both kids over for as long as you want them gone. If only I had read the fine print in our co-parenting agreement. I, obviously, need to choose my neighbors more carefully when they are renting the house next door...

      Delete
  15. Don't circumvent my husband or I and go to my sitter to arrange a playdate between our kids because you claim you can't get a hold of me??? And then don't get mad because I called you out on it. You need to reach out to the parent, not the sitter. And then don't stalk my sitter on her cell phone trying to get her to meet you behind my back, she works for me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you KIDDING me with this??? Where do these people come from??

      Delete
    2. I am not kidding, this just happened this summer, and sadly she lives behind me so I cannot avoid her. Amazingly ballsy!

      Delete
    3. Is this, like, a rich person's problem?

      Delete
    4. I've been the sitter on a playdate. Even though I'd BE THERE, I made sure the kiddo knew that I had to ask her parents before I could say yes. I am not her parent. There are very few times where I will do ANYTHING without telling her parents where we will be. (Exceptions being something like stopping at the library on the walk home or spontaneously going for a treat if she needs some cheering up.)

      Delete
  16. OMG the video game / tv time is such a big one with me. I'd arrange playdates by where I knew they'd be sitting around playing video games the whole time vs. the friends that I knew would want to / be told to go outside once in a while.

    #2 doesn't bother me. it's teaches both kids consequences and shows me that the parents don't just give into their kids because someone else is around. I like parents with backbones.

    The food ones cracks me up. My son had a playdate before afternoon Kindergarten and the friend was a picky eater. She had to eat before school so we had to run down the list of food I had before we found something she liked to eat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Picking eating doesn't fly at my house. It doesn't fly with my kids or with anyone else's. If it's lunchtime, I'll feed you lunch, but everybody gets the same thing. Eat it. Don't eat it. I couldn't give 2 shits. The food is on the table. It's your call. That is pretty much my philosophy from day one with my kids. They won't starve themselves to death. If some kid came to a playdate looking for a short-order cook, they came to the wrong house.

      Delete
  17. OMG #9 is so true! Just wait until they're 10 & 12 years old. You can battle with these a**hole parents about violent/scary/sexy movies, staying up all night, gallons of caffeinated soda, unrestricted internet access, hours in the sun without sunscreen... Yes, my kids should know better but sheesh. I've come to hate sending to or hosting playdates.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Moms need to LEAVE. Just because I invite your kid over does not mean I want to entertain you for a few hours as well. If you don't trust me to watch your kid for a few hours, don't accept the play date. I have play dates so my kid is entertained and I can get some things done.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Can I add just because your kid has been sitting by the window all day waiting me to get off work so they can play with my kid. Do not send your kid to ambush me in my drive way the minute I get home and ask can they play for a couple of hours. Yes, I know you are probably sick of your kid, but after spending 8 hours at work I don't want to be bothered with your little angel either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen!! We have a neighborhood kid just like this. Can I get my shoes off first before your kid rings my doorbell? Good grief!

      Delete
    2. Or the "I have stuff to do so go to their house" doorbell ring. Because, evidently, I don't need to get things done, and your nearly 7 and 2 year olds need to be out of your hair. Even better when they show up RIGHT as I take my kids in to get something done. Or when the kids invite my kids to play, then say, "mom says no, can we play here?" What the what, people. ("Come here so I can give you your stuff junior...it's okay that they're here, right?" "Sure, you know I live to watch your kids!")

      Delete
    3. The only other kid on our street is not only obnoxious,and 3 yrs older than my kid,but never invited my child to her house.Just always wanted to come here,even though she had a pool and other stuff that we did not.I nipped it in the bud when I realized she was only hanging with my child when her older friends rejected her for being so mean.

      Delete
  20. Oh dear God, NAILED IT. No, you are NOT the only one. When the play date is over, it's OVER. We are done. Don't ask for a sleep over. Don't ask to come home with me. I am so crazy about the pick up process, that I stack all the kids' stuff by my front door and if the mom is coming by at 4 to retrieve her kid, I make sure shoes are ON and TIED by 3:55, and then we hang out near the door. And OMG, the mom who sends baby carrots? I have carrots, bitch. Don't insult me. I'm totally giving that kid Pop-Rocks in a 5 Hour Energy Drink with a side of Flaming Hot Cheetos.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Don't accept the play date invitation if you have no intention of EVER reciprocating. If your kid doesn't like my kid, don't accept the invite in the first place. I don't like being used, and it makes my kid sad when he is never invited. Leaves me wondering if anyone likes him at all, even though the kids seem to like him when in my house. WTF.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I took so long to do my comment (below), you beat me to it. YES!

      Delete
    2. YEsss! Thank-you!

      Delete
    3. Yes! Yes! YES! A thousand times yes! I too am SO sick of this. I can't count the number of times my "only" child hasn't had little friends and their idiot mom RECIPROCATE! My spouse and I also enjoy time alone and sorry we decided to only have one, but that doesn't mean the playdate is ALWAYS at MY HOUSE! So glad this annoys others.

      Delete
    4. It's been a long time since we had playdates, but this was a huge pet peeve of mine. It goes double for birthday parties. We used to invite all these kids to pool parties, the zoo, whatever we could come up with, and the reciprocal invites were very few and far between. I didn't expect a birthday party invite per se--that can get out of hand if the party gets too big--but would a playdate have been impossible?

      Delete
  22. I love all of these. Sorry - I have to be anonymous. Too many people who will also see this have had playdates with my kid and are notorious offenders of most of these rules. WTF?

    And for those who debate #2? Seriously? How inconsiderate are you? Have a backbone and, as Jen said, figure out another punishment.

    I'd like to add yet another rule:

    FUCKING RECIPROCATE. No, it doesn't have to be a precise "We host today, you host next week" keeping score kind of thing. But if you work full time and I host your kid at least once a week after school, maybe a sleepover on the weekend at OUR HOUSE, because our kids are BFF's... maybe invite our kid over to yours on a weekend afternoon for a couple of hours?

    If that is impossible, float us a gift certificate to go out to a family dinner, just us. Something.

    We SAHM's are not your makeshift daycare providers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not indulging their playdate IS having a backbone. It's a risk you run when you have playdates. I can just see it;
      "Well Timmy, you've been an absolute douchebag to me for the last 2 hours. Why don't we reward that with some fun with Billy!?!"

      Get over it. Sometimes other kids (and their parents) are innocent bystanders. It's part & parcel of playdates.

      Delete
    2. @ Anon July 10 10:23 am
      Why don't you post your phone number? That way when other parents are deciding how to discipline their own kids, they can check first that you won't be inconvenienced.

      Christ on a cracker, I really can't take these people who think they should never ever be inconvenienced ever. Every freaking time I leave my house I'm inconvenienced in some way. It's part of living in a society with other people. Sometimes you get your way and sometimes they get theirs. Grow up or move to a desert island.

      And if your kid can't handle a bit of disappointment, that's on you and your shitty parenting.

      Delete
  23. I agree. Agree. Agree.
    Can we add that, if the mom's HAVE to be present at the play date, the hostess provide coffee or some other caffeinated beverage? Booze would be nice, but something to keep me awake and engaged would be very much appreciated.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. if it's agreed upon beforehand that you will by occupying my time/space. otherwise: who the fuck do you think you are?

      Delete
    2. Who are you, visiting royalty? Manners would dictate, if anyone is to provide a gift, it's YOU! Why don't YOU bring a bottle of wine or a Frappa Crappicino from Starbux to the parent hosting your spawn? Geezaloo!

      Delete
  24. When my hubs and I bought our house in a kid-friendly neighborhood I had dreams (dillusions) that our house would be the one all the kids hung out at... it would be the fun house of the neighborhood.

    Then I realized the kids that kept showing up were little assholes.

    In our neighborhood, the kids all "yard bounce". They start at one house, decide to go play at another, etc. And I'm fine when it's my turn for my yard to become overrun with the NEIGHBORHOOD kids... kids that I know, and know their parents. But if your kid is having a playdate, keep her and her little friend at home.

    We have a ghetto pool, one of those Walmart metal frame things, and we had it up before the end of May this year. But, it is 4 feet deep. Our neighbor down the street also has one. They have not put their's up yet. A couple weeks ago, their daughter shows up with the friend she was having a playdate with... both in their bathing suits, carrying towels, and pool noodles. Um, excuse me? Knowing that your pool is not up yet, and water fights have never happened in YOUR yard, why the hell would you tell the parents of your daughter's friend to bring her bathing suit? Oh, and I'd like to add, both kids showed up bone dry, so it's not like they were playing some sort of water game at her house and decided to pop by and see what my kids were up to. No, these two little brats planned it.

    So yeah, keep your kid and her playdate at your house. I have no problem watching your kid when the game of the day moves to my yard, just like you have no problem watching mine. But do NOT make me responsible for some stranger's kid.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Absolutely!! We have an above ground pool in our back yard too and we used to have kids just show up to see if they can swim.And then have the nerve to ask 'Why not?' when I say No.Um, because I don't know you or your parents and my kids don't even know who you are.

      Delete
    2. One day I had a kid, about 7 yrs old, come up from the basement and ask me for a drink. He was in the house, but I had never seen him before in my life. He was a friend of a neighbor and heard we had cool toys. Came in the back basement door. WTF.

      Delete
    3. That's one of the reasons I keep the doors locked.I had a kid from down the street that would just walk in my house(he's four).I walked him home-talked to his mom and she said,"Junior,you have to knock on the door."Kid showed up again 15 minutes later,knocked once, and let himself in.

      Delete
    4. This is off the topic of planned playdates, but I live in a neighborhood where kids spontaneously go to each others' homes, and sometimes it's not convenient. So, I made a do not disturb sign ("Sorry, we can't play!") for the front door. It works great since all the kids can read well enough to understand that.

      Delete
  25. Might I add that if you are going to have your slutty babysitter (who likes to smoke at the playground and we have all seen her do it) watch my child during the playdate INFORM me first. I do not think her and her daisy dukes are appropriate for my child to be around. I do not want to show up and have her answer the door because then I might be forced to break Rule #2 (the only time I would break it). Then forcing me to go spoil my child for the day to make up for their own heatbreak bc Suzy's mom is an asshat who has a slutty babysitter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Way to be a judgemental bitch. No one's forcing you to spoil your child just because you don't like the babysitter's outfit. I certainly hope your teaching your kids to value people's appearances more than their personalities or their circumstances. I've been the one in the daisy dukes before, and I'm not a babysitter; I just don't like wearing pants when it's 107 degrees with a 96% humidity level. Fucking sue me, I wouldn't want my kids exposed to an attitude like yours anyways...which I'm sure by now has rubbed off on your precious offspring.

      Would I appreciate knowing who exactly is going to be watching my kid while he's at someone's house? Yes, whether it be the mom, dad, older brother, or babysitter. Yes, because that's common courtesy. But I have no right to be an asshat to or about someone that I don't even know.

      Delete
    2. I don't mind people wearing shorts, but when my son is getting an "education" because her lady garden is winking at him...that's when I draw the line.

      Delete
    3. I agree with anonymous, If You aren't going to be there, then make sure that I and every one else's parents know who will be supervising. Just because you let slutty baby sitter watch your kids doesn't mean that I want that around my kids. Short shorts in 107 degree weather isn't a problem generally. But we've all seen the ones that have more boob showing than the breastfeeding mom on the park bench and more butt showing out of the bottom of her shorts than if she had on a swim suit. Not to mention the ones that have their boyfriend "helping to watch the kids" Yeah... I'm not leaving my 7 year old daughter there for sex education. Although I'm not going to go spoil my kids so their heart doesn't break, I'd just explain that some things are inappropriate and little Suzy's mom should have been more forthcoming about the situation. Most likely though, she wouldn't go back to Suzy's again.

      Delete
    4. I think it's inconsiderate of Suzy's mom to plan a play date when Suzy has a babysitter in the first place whether the babysitter is dressed appropriately or not.

      Delete
    5. I agree with this one. If there will be a sitter, no adult, a dad, whoever, I want to know so that I can make an informed decision. I won't set up a play date if there isn't an adult home and I won't set one up if the sitter isn't someone I know or trust, regardless of what she is or isn't wearing. I always, probably to the point of annoying, text or call the parent to inform is there is going to be a change in where we are or who is home with the kids. Parents need to know what is going on with their kids. If you are going to take the kids to the park, shoot a text to their mom so she can know if she wants that or not. If you are going to let the kids walk to get a snow cone, let the parents know. Maybe they don't want their 9 year old walking around town alone with your 9 year old. Just sayin'.

      Delete
  26. How about this one? Just because we invited one child does NOT mean little sister gets to tag along (unless stated in the invitation. In first grade a boy was invited to my sons party (it was held at a fun, kids museum, all hands on stuff they were making slime etc) and a parent I didn't know, dropped off and I realized he left his 3 year old with me. Didn't leave his phone number on the list and besides watching all of the 1st grade boys I had to watch a 3 year old in a public place. I was sure he had dumped them permanently :) He did show up at the end to claim (both of his kids) when he later invited my kid to his house I declined as I thought if he was irresponsibe enough to leave his 3 year old with a stranger in a public place I wasn't trusting him with my kid at his house.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Another rule - please tell me if you plan to take the kids out for ice-cream or go-karting. I once went to fetch my kid at a party only to find no body there . Was in a flat panic . They arrived back an hour later. Thought my son had been kidnapped.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Of course you did. Because everyone thinks their precious little Buttercup's been kidnapped.

      Delete
    2. Who pissed in your cornflakes? While jumping straight to kidnapping is a little extreme (though considering the blog we're all reading, she may have been being sarcastic) it's just insane to take someones child without clearing it with the parents first. Everyone should know where their kids are at all times, no matter who they're with.

      Delete
  28. I have to ask though, why does the food allergy need to be life threatening? My son has gluten intolerance and gets sick, cranky, sleepy, and breaks out in a rash, but he's not going to need to go to the hospital from exposure to wheat. If you give him wheat are you going to deal with his tired, cranky, itchy butt for the next two days? This is why we don't have many play-dates, way too much hassle all the way around.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd have your kid over, just let me know what he CAN eat. I know a mom who sends over bean sprouts, tofu and carrots sticks for her son (to my friend's house) but the kid would never eat it and she asked her neighbor why he wasn't eating it and the mom replies "oh, we can only get him to eat corn dogs and fries" Why would you do that to another mom?. I think it has more to do with being realistic. But I wouldn't mind at all.
      *On that note, if your child has an allergy life threatening or not, please tell me what reaction they might have so I can watch for it. I won't serve them something they shouldn't have but if the kids raid the pantry while I'm using the bathroom, I just want to know if I have to give a lecture to the kids or call 911.

      Delete
    2. This is a non-issue really. I am more than happy to try to cater to a child's dietary needs if I know what they are. Also, if you can help out by sending something that is wonderful. I would hope that if my child had special needs, dietary or not, someone would care enough to be considerate.

      Delete
  29. Addendums:
    *Do not tell me that your kid is fully potty trained if they really aren't because inevitably they'll take a shit in their pants while they are at my house.There you are with a stinky kid and no diapers in the house because your kid is fully potty trained.
    *If your kid is coming over to my house,make sure I can get ahold of you in case an emergency happens...like your kid just shit his pants or breaks a bone or something.
    *Don't expect me to host all of the play dates/sleepovers.Just because I'm a stay at home mom and I don't homeschool, it doesn't mean that I don't need a few hours or the night off.
    *Be respectful of my time.Don't call me five minutes after you are supposed to pick up your kid to say you're going to run get a prescription and not show up for another hour because you decided to tan too.
    *When you pull this kind of shit on me, don't act surprised because I call you out on it when you pick up your kid.And I also suggest that you not try to get the other moms at church to take your side either because I will call you out.on.your. shit.in.front.of the.church.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hee hee - shit and church in the same sentence.

      Delete
  30. adolpha?!? I hope that was just you're attempt at being funny - and i'm not even thinking about the connection to that hitler fellow - its just a bad name for a girl- or even a boy but at least (If you're german anyway)its acceptable...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. those are not her children's real names, but if they were, I believe this comment would be somewhat offensive...

      Delete
    2. Ah, a new follower! So easy to spot! Welcome! :)

      Delete
    3. But Gomer sounded "normal" to you?

      Delete
    4. BAhahahahaha.

      Delete
    5. You're right, she's German. Everyone else loves the name, don't you?

      Delete
  31. I'm with you regarding every one except #2. I have cancelled playdates because of my daughter's behavior and will do so if the need arises. Sometimes, you have to respond with the punishment immediately to get the point across. So sorry to disappoint the other child, but they both will get over it.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Gomer and Adolpha are not her children's real names. No worries.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I wish this list of rules had been around 4 years ago for my first experiences!

    The first playdate I arranged and hosted, I expected the kid to just be dropped off, but the mother hung around for the WHOLE playdate and even went into my daughter's room and played with the kids for a bit. This lead me to believe that was the norm, and so the first time my daughter was invited to another friend's house, I awkwardly hung around wanting to die. Thankfully the mother finally said, "Why don't you go enjoy yourself and come back in a couple of hours for pick up?" FREEDOM!

    Another time, a little friend's dad was in a bind while his wife (whom I adore) was out of town, so I agreed to have the friend over for a few hours each day over the weekend. The first night, there was no typical dad-authority for the kid to get his shit and leave, just some "Hey buddy, don't think you think it's time we go? Alright, why don't you finish this level in the game and then we can go?" This went on for 45 fucking minutes. The next night, the dad tells me the kid will be at my house an extra hour so he can cook dinner and then come pick him up. Um, yeah, I have to fucking feed my kid too and that involves me cooking. Even after I said something, he refused to pick his kid up at the previously agreed upon time. I only have that kid over now if his mom is in town.

    I HATE PLAYDATES.

    ReplyDelete
  34. AMEN.
    Especially to Number 10. I have had to deal with that with one mom who's kid is friends with mine and it bugs the living shit out of me. WTF?

    ReplyDelete
  35. hahaha, #6 reminds me of my daughter when she was little. Her brother was the "good one", one who would never get in trouble, she on the other hand would definately sneak up on someone to "ambush" them

    ReplyDelete
  36. If my child is going to your house for a playdate, I expect them to be at your house for said playdate.
    One time, my spouse went to pick up my daughter from her friend's house at the time we had said we would pick her up. Nobody was home! I called the mother and she said, "Oh, we're having lunch" and mentioned the restaurant, one I had never heard of. I googled it and it was 40 miles away!!! Iwas LIVID! You do.not.take.someone's.child.without.asking!!!!
    My little one was not even 4 years old yet and I didn't allow her to drive with anyone! The only reason she had a playdate without me was because our girls are very close and live directly across the street otherwise I would not have let her go so young. I don't know HOW any normal person would possibly think this is ok!

    ReplyDelete
  37. If I am hosting your child, they are the guest and will be treated as such. I make my kids consider what movie their guest would like to watch, what games they'd like to play. Not making the guest the boss, but being polite and playing fair, taking turns etc.
    It makes me seethe when my kid has playdate and the Mom allows her kid to "rule the show" because it's their house. My son has actually been told by the host Mom that her son gets to choose the activities because it's his playdate at his house with his toys.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with you 100%!! Holy crap, that aggravates the crap out of me.

      Delete
    2. On the other hand, my kids have a friend whose every second sentence is, "Well, I'm the guest so what I say goes." Um...no. If the kids can't agree on the same activity they are to take turns doing things they each choose. Also, sometimes the guests have really bad ideas of what is fun and I want my kids to feel free to say no. We had one 6-year-old girl encourage my daughter (also 6 at the time) to take pictures down her pants. I have no idea where she got that idea from, but obviously I don't want my kids going along with something like that just because the guest suggests it.

      Delete
  38. Too freakin' much! You are glorious... thanks for the read!

    ReplyDelete
  39. I have the opposite problem. I go to pick my kid up, and she starts begging for the friend to come over to continue playing. Really? I heard y'all arguing when I stepped on the porch. Why would I bring that home with me? The purpose of the playdate was to have little Chairati's mom deal with your crazy for a change! Don't throw me under the bus like that, or I will take away half-Christmas!!

    ReplyDelete
  40. OMG this was hilarious--and true! and you ladies responding are friggin' funny, too! (tuck and roll. LOL)

    ReplyDelete
  41. Okay, so does it make me a Nard to ask what kind of playdate it is? My son is almost 6 and up to this point we've only done playdates with my friends with kids, so of course we hang out and chat but sometimes I don't know if the friendly mom was hoping to make a new friend AND occupy her child or just wanting to keep Johny busy for a couple hours. Is it incredibly socially awkward to ask? And how can I politely say just drop and go? I'm sure it is silly for me to ask this, but a lot of people seem to have an opinion about drop and go, but it is possible that the mom just didn't know what you wanted out of the playdate? I would totally be that mom the first time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've learned to ask up front if this is a 'kids' playdate or a 'you want me to stay & have some adult conversation' playdate. Unfortunately I didn't take he hint when the mom was seemingly happily chatting with me as she worked in the kitchen that she REALLY wanted me to GOOOOO! In my family growing up the moms chatted while working in the kitchen all the time. It felt normal to me. But, it wasn't. OOPS, SORRY! And, another poster above said that when she invites a kid over she actually says, "So you can go have some time to yourself..." That seems like a polite way to say it :)

      Delete
  42. My kids are 10, 10, and 12. Thank goodness they have reached the ages where they are pretty much self sufficient. I came to the conclusion a few years ago that I just really don't like other people's children. Parents you like,... parents you don't like,... it doesn't matter. Dealing with other people's kids is a pain in the ass. I hate other people's kids.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Omg! I'm so glad you said that! I don't know if I'd go as far as saying I hate other people's kids but there are definitely some that are hard to tolerate. Whatever the case may be I still certainly make sure your kid doesn't poke his eye out while he's over but i'm not going to be like a second mother to him either!

      Delete
    2. I'm glad you said it too. There's other people's kids I can't stand, but mostly because of their stupid asshat parents.

      Delete
    3. Other people's kids, other people's pets, other people's spouces, usually dislike them all.

      Delete
    4. Oh, thank god, I'm not the only one! Other people's kids drive me flippin' nuts, and I absolutely used to HATE playdates. High maintenance eaters (NOT allergies - just picky eaters!), screamers, kids who ask if they can eat over/sleep over, mean-girls-in-the-making, kids who won't leave our pets alone, all of them made be bat-shit crazy. I sound like a monster, but my kids are the only ones I actually like but I think that's because I've moulded them into the kind of people I like. Good news is that they've gotten older, their friends have gotten cooler and more fun to hang out with.

      Delete
  43. regarding the continuing to ask for child to come over, whichever child it is....MY mother's rule when I was a child was "if you ask me to do anything with another child in front of them and/or their parents the rule is automatically NO. You ask if private if you would like any chance of it happening". it was a good rule, no one was ever put on the spot then and the expectations were clear!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a good one!

      My mom always said any activity involving three girls was bad. It always ended up two against one. I actually remember that... and she was right.

      Delete
    2. Oooooh....I like that one. I have this problem all the time-----begging from my kid, the other kid, or BOTH!

      Delete
    3. We have the same rule in our family. It's a good rule. Even on the phone the kids know to mute the call or tell the friend they will call them right back. And begging NEVER happens- I have overheard my child tell a friend on the phone, "Sorry, the answer is no, I can't have a skype sleepover tonight. (pause) No! (laughs) I am NOT going to beg my mom. That will just make her annoyed. Sorry."

      Delete
    4. that has been my rule all along and it works well! :) Also because my kids know the answer will be no, they clue friends in and then the friends know to ask their mommies in private as well. Nothing is more irritating than being put on the spot by pint sized people.

      Delete
    5. See, here's the rub ... if all of us HAVE this rule, then where are these idiot children who DON'T have this rule coming from? The basement door?

      Delete
  44. What is the deal with "playdates"? What happened to kids playing with other random kids in the neighborhood or entertaining themselves at home? Kids are busy enough without parents orchestrating their social life. I try to avoid playdates like the plague. All that stuff you write about is so true. I attended a playdate once where the hosting mother wanted all the moms there to play dress up while the kids played. It was horrific!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you live in a rural area like I do, the only way for the kids to get together is to organize it. We don't have any children on our block and I'm not going to let my 7 and 9 year old go traipsing to their friend's house. That said, I HATE playdates. My husband and I work full time and the last thing I want to do at 6 at night is entertain someone else's kid. My kids are dying to see their friends though so I end up being that asshat that never reciprocates. I don't use playdates as daycare. I pay enough $ for the professionals to do that. But there never seems to be a good time to have other kids over. It's an awkward situation and I dread it!!! My daughter is the constantly pulling #9 on me. I've been trying to break that habit for years.

      Delete
    2. I was thinking the same thing. My kids are 13 and 16 so we're way past the playdate phase anyway. But when they were little they had a few neighborhood friends and they would basically rotate around the houses depending on who had a new toy or whatever. Nothing was ever planned. Also, this may just be me but I find it a little strange to let your kid play at a person's house that you barely know. Maybe I'm too overprotective but I need to know you personally before my kid is coming in your house without me. After reading this thread I'm so glad I never had to deal with the playdate politics!

      Delete
  45. In my book: Rule # 585 Don’t punish your kids during a playdate.
    I recall a time while the mom put his son in a time-out in my hallway and he screamed bloody murder for about 5 minutes while my son and I looked horrified.
    Let's just say that was the last time they were invited to our house.

    ReplyDelete
  46. How about teaching your kid some damn manners. I pay too much money for my kids lego sets for them to end up in your sons pocket because he "needs that minifigure" this happened more than once. So if your kid has sticky fingers give him a pat down before you leave my house. Also...parents --personal space! Neither I nor my kid want to be climbed on and touched. Say what you you need..."hugs are for mommy" "only sit on mommy's lap" I really feel awkward having any 7 year old sitting on my lap. Especially yours!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  47. I'd like to add, no ambush playdates either. My son has a classmate who lives down the street from us. He is a child that I would euphemistically refer to as "spirited" in front of other moms just to be polite. He has problems making friends because he is a little asshole while mom and dad offer no discipline and instead smile with delight at his punkass antics which they are sure are a sign of his vast intelligence. I would get home from work, after a long day of dealing with other people's kids, to find mom and child waiting at my front door. Mom was hoping her little demon seed and my son could be friends. My son is a little frightened of this kid. I am too, truth be told. Mom would invite herself in with the kid and make herself comfortable on my couch wanting to idly chat for an hour or more. Unlike her, I work and can't afford a maid. Therefore, my house is not company ready at all times. So there I would be fretting about whether the cat box smells or if the layer of dust on the coffee table is noticeable, while this woman I barely know would blather on about her tennis lessons, how she wants "Damien" tested for the gifted program, and lamenting how difficult it is for him to make friends. No shit. I saw the kid purposely take grapes from his school lunch today, bounce them off the filthy floor and then proudly eat them. Yeah, he's a fucking genius. The child would terrorize our cat and dog while here. I would attempt to intervene, unsuccessfully, while mom sat and placidly smiled. Now I know why she chose the ambush method of playdates instead of arranging one ahead of time. If given the chance to decline I would have. NO DROP IN PLAYDATES! I can't stress it enough.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Too many frickin' rules. Why the hell can't kids just go run around OUTSIDE in the neighborhood until it's time to eat? Mine will because I'm not putting up with this bullshit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Like I said... yard bouncing lol.

      Delete
    2. Because not all neighborhoods have other kids in them to just yard bounce to and some kids(like mine ) that have some special needs can't do that. Therefore if they ever want to play with a friend outside of school it has to be planned.

      Delete
    3. You've also never lived anywhere where it's -30*C or colder in the winter... And winter is October-March.

      Delete
  49. Recently, the mom of a kid in my daughter's class called me to ask if her child could sleep over at my house. The kid has never even been to my house for a play date. She was invited to my child's b-day party, but never showed. That's how she got my number. I told her I had to check with my husband and would call her back which I did not. Luckily, she hasn't called back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Uh, NO? Sounds like they wanted free child care, fo sho!

      Delete
  50. #13 Make sure you show up for the play date!
    I was scarred as a 6 year old when I spent all day looking forward to a play date and the girl didn't show up. She was supposed to arrive at 2pm (seriously, I remember staring at the clock). She lived a mile away and, at 2:40, when my dad finally called her mom, the mom said they forgot and went shopping instead.
    I really think this is why I have trust issues. Seriously, you ALL forgot?? Glad I mattered so much, "friend".
    When I have kids, you can bet those play dates are gonna be written on a calendar!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When I was a kid I was invited over to a friend's house to spend the night. My father took me over and no one was home. We went back home. I waited on our front porch with my little overnight bag, thinking that they MUST be on their way to get me. NOPE. They totally forgot.

      Delete
  51. Wow. The replies are just as hilarious as the post. I guess I'm gonna rant about the bringing younger siblings to a playdate. I understand that you can't find childcare for your youngest kid, but the solution is for you and your youngest kid to take off from my house and let the older kids play. When your youngest kid trashes my kid's toys, don't tell my son that it's a learning experience for when he gets a baby sister someday. How do you know if my youngest kid is gonna be a mini-Godzilla like your kid? I haven't invited people with younger siblings over because of two bad experiences where my son's toys got trashed.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Make sure your gluttonous kid has some manners. I don't want to hear her say: "I want a snack." Or when they've had a snack, demand, "I want some more." Please, teach your kid to say "please" puh leez! Otherwise, maybe I'll get annoyed with her rudeness and say that we're fresh out.

    Also, when your kid comes over to my house to play, I don't want to continually converse with your kid. I don't mind answering the odd question, but I don't need your kid asking me who I'm on the phone with or try to chat while I'm in MY bedroom folding laundry. Go play with my kid and lets respect some of those boundaries.

    Also, I've found chatting and humor between a mom and a non-English speaking mom can be dicey and make for lots of awkward silences.

    I too hate the playdate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My daughters both had friends (also sisters) who are the.rudest.girls. on the planet. At my younger one's 7th birthday, the friend actually asked for a cupcake (without a 'please'), unwrapped it, then said, "I don't like this kind, what else can I have?" The older sister was trick-or-treating with my older daughter and another friend. My husband was supervising. Brat friend went to knock on a door, husband told her not to (as the porch light was not on) and she told him "I don't have to listen to you" and marched up to the door. They don't come here anymore.

      Delete
  53. My stomach hurts from laughing so hard! My kids are still on the younger side, so all of our playdates are the mama included ones (hence my anonymous post.) We have the kid with Sensory Integration Disorder who loves to hit and body slam, the prima donna princess who can do no wrong and the out of control demon seed. Two other moms have kids that are a little more "normal" which eases the pain that is the 2 hour weekly gab fest. I am the anti- morning snack parent, but when I host, I am glad to have some fruit for the kids and moms. If you want something other than water, BYOB.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Can I tell you how much it pisses me off when my stay at home mom friend drops her kids off at MY house, for my summer babysitter to supervise, without even talking to me about it? Never mind that my house gets semi-trashed in the process.

    One time I came home from work and my sitter left with my friend's kids - to drop them off on her way home. NOT ok!! And no, she doesn't offer up any compensation either. Get your own sitter!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mary McDonough SmithJuly 15, 2012 at 10:53 PM

      This person is your friend? Tell her that you will call the police next time she does this. She is basically abandoning her kids. NOT ACCEPTABLE!!!!! However, I have zero problems putting people in their place and most people aren't like me. Good luck!!!

      Delete
  55. The snack thing burns me up. We had a friend and her daughter over last week and EVERY time she comes she complains about being hungry the whole time. Her mom always says "Yeah she won't ever eat her lunch before a playdate". I gave this kid three snacks and she STILL kept on. Not once did the mom say "Enough already, you should have ate your lunch". I had to just tell her no, we were done having snacks, then I looked like an ass. At least this time she didn't help herself to my kitchen pantry, another peeve of mine.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Hell yes! And to the mom that didnt like being told her kid was an asshat (#6) -FU!

    ReplyDelete
  57. Sorry, but I've broken rule #2 twice as a last resort. If my kid is being such a shithead that timeout, going to his room (where there are no toys), taking away beloved things, etc don't work, then you honestly don't want him at your house that day so he can continue his reign of terror. I'm sorry that your child is disappointed, believe me, I was looking forward to getting stuff done too, but honestly, I'm doing you a favor by not having to deal with him while he's acting like a punk.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree. I have too. I really don't want you to have to put up with my evil spawn on the days when they are no longer lovely children, but seemingly the spawn of Satan himself. I truly believe I am doing you a favor, and I will reschedule, and make sure I am rescheduling at my house, to ensure that I am not putting you out. Often this rescheduling comes with a longer play-date time and an offer of looking after your other kids. I hate to break plans, because I hate having it done to me, so I often over compensate.

      Delete
  58. Here is another rule. If you are hosting the playdate and I come to pick up at 4, don't make me wait until 4:30 when everything is picked up! I'm all about picking up a mess, but you as the hostess need to get that shit sorted out at 3:30...I feel like I have to help clean up too! I don't know where the crap goes in your house...if you want the guest kid to help clean, then do it BEFORE pick up time. OK..off soapbox!

    ReplyDelete
  59. Oh . . . I have been there. Your blog makes me laugh. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  60. what a bunch of twats with nothing to do but hyper obsess about fing play dates. Get a life and wait for my blog to drop. Ya'll need to go lose ten pounds and get a brazilan bikini wax and worry about lookin good!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. huh? what? we're twats?? Yeah, what's your blog? I've been waiting for it to "drop" while i was getting my brazilian done. Thanks for your advice about the weight lose. I really don't know what we'd all do without you!
      GO AWAY!Bye-Bye Now!

      Delete
    2. Wow, someone clearly has vagina on the brain. It's sad that you have nothing better to do than comment on a blog that will always be more popular than yours (once it eventually "drops", I mean). It must suck being so bitter.

      Also, I think "getting a life" and "waiting for [your] blog to drop" are contradictory. Nobody is waiting for your blog to "drop", except maybe other vagina-obsessed hopefuls.

      Maybe if you spent less time being so transparent (and ironically whining about us "twats" having nothing better to do...), you could actually put more time into getting your blog to "drop". What is with that, anyway? Is your blog a testicle? WHY ARE YOU SO FASCINATED WITH GENITALIA??

      On a final note, it's "y'all". As in, a contraction of "you all". I hope that helps you in your future blog venture, as language is usually important in gaining and keeping an audience.

      Delete
    3. Best comment ever! That better make it to the Weekly Wrap Up! This whole thread had me in tears but that was just THE BEST

      Delete
    4. I think I just passed out from sheer happiness at the second "anonymous" reply!!!

      Delete
    5. Troll,
      I am excitedly awaiting your blog. I gather that it will be full of grammar errors and poorly thought out commentary.

      Delete
  61. Also, don't loan my daughter an inappropriate dress and heels that violate the school's dress code the night before a school function, making me be the bad guy having to tell her she can't wear it, making her feel like the dress she had chosen wasn't fancy enough.

    ReplyDelete
  62. My children are in college now, but I remember doing play dates. I was the one with a child being left out. The youngest would be invited over to a friend's house, and her sister (only 12 months and 16 days older -- They were Irish twins) was ignored. The eldest wasn't a hellion, but she wasn't as popular as her younger sister. I know that being left out did hurt her. When I hosted, I always made sure that if the children were in a reasonable age group, 6 - 9 or 7 - 10, I invited all of them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, sorry ... not doing it. If I invite one of your children over, I do not want that child's sibling (who is not friends with my child) to come over just to make your life easier. In turn, I do even consider sending siblings over uninvited to other people's houses. Moms who try to do this make me crazy. If you other kid is having a hard time making friends, that's for him/her to work out with you. It's not my problem.

      Delete
  63. Oh, great. Add this to the list of parenting duties I am NOT looking forward to in my one year old's future. LOL.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Reading this post and all the comments reminds me of just how much I hate play dates. My boys are not old enough for drop off play dates. But sitting around with other moms and hearing about how gifted their kid is...is fucking torture. I really don't give a rat's ass if your daughter started talking at 9 months. And the mom that doesn't believe in saying "no" or any other type of negative word to her kid, I really want to punch in the throat. I don't care what you say to your kid, just get him to stop hitting all the other kids. Otherwise don't say shit when my boy hits back.

    ReplyDelete
  65. When kids come to my house, they are MINE. If a child asks me to continue a playdate when it's almost over, the answer is whatever I want it to be and they accept it fine because I answer them kindly and fairly. If I'm not up for it, I say "not today, maybe another time" and that's the end of it. If they try to argue, I tell them that if they continue, there will be no more playdates. If they pester me after coming home from work, I tell them not to pester me in my "mom" tone and explain that playdates need to be "pre-planned". If they want food, they choose one of two snacks and I tell them when to expect lunch. They all "get" that they will be treated like they are my own kid (including praise, hugs and special treats). They clean their messes, help me with little chores if I ask and generally treat me with respect. Because I respect them back. I tell all the parents of my kids friends that when they drop their kid with me, they are mine and will follow my rules. The parents usually get the message that THEY need to respect those rules as well.

    ReplyDelete
  66. My children are just now about 2. You mean I have to have play dates with OTHER children?! Wasn't that the whole purpose of having twins?

    Oh boy, er, brother, er - oh hell.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Totally agree with you! Avoiding playdates is one of the major reasons I decided to have several children. I grew up in a large family and we never had playdates. If we said we were bored, we were told to either clean a room or play with your sister/brother. We played with other kids at parties or at school. That's it.

      Delete
  67. When I come to pick my kid up from your house, the last thing that should be coming out of your mouth is "Oh, I have no idea where they are!" Ummm say what now? Look, I don't expect you to be helicopter mom, I certainly am not. If you let your kids run the neighborhood without seeing hide, nor hair of them for hours...whatever...that's your choice. However, my kid (most likely) does not know your neighborhood like your kids do, so if she gets separated from your kid she's all alone in a strange place. Not cool. I don't expect you to hover, but I do expect some level of supervision...you know, at least a general idea where my kid is at. Plus, if your kid has a friend over, and you know their parents are coming to pick them up at a certain time you need to make sure my kid is here when I come to get them.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Here's something to add to#9. Moms please don't be the one to ask in front of both kids if your child can come spend the night at my house. Also don't ask if my kid can come swimming/skating/to the movies (or anything else that costs money) and then inform me to make sure my kid brings money if you are not going to give your child any money. a few years ago my daughter got invited to go to an indoor pool. I was informed that they weren't able to pay for her to get in. no biggie I don't expect casual aquaintences to provide free entertainment for my children. It was $5 to get in, they were going in the afternoon so I sent her with a $20 so she could also buy herself lunch. I figured that would be more than enough and was even expecting change but thought that if she had extra money after paying to get in and buying lunch I wouldn't be so upset if she blew the rest on silly bands and candy (after all stuff there is horribly overpriced and a twenty isn't really gonna go all that far.) When she got home I found out the friend's mom had took the $ used it to buy her 4 kids a snack and my daughter had to share a soda and half a soft pretzle with her friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh hell no! I'd call that mom up and ask her for change! Or plan another pool play date and in-her-face ask HER to pay your daughter's entrance AND buy her a full lunch! That is NOT COOL!

      Delete
  69. I'll echo the please pick up and drop off your angel on time. For that courtesy, I'll make sure their shoes are on and whatever they brought over is at the door. Fair is fair.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Thank goodness my youngest is 21. When he has friends over they share their beer.

    ReplyDelete
  71. Please don't pretend you never got my txt and or message on your home phone that I cant have both your kids for the sleepover they planned a few weeks ago. My kids had birthday parties all weekend and I called you 48 hours before the weekend to say we need to reschedule. Don't tell me that you have made plans to go our for dinner and you will not cancel them. Don't tell me what to do in my own home! Then mention on FB how small my house is!!!!!!!! Needless to say that is why you and your kids have not stepped foot in this house since..... rant over. Great post thank you for that. Seems we have the same issues here in New Zealand!

    ReplyDelete
  72. My #1 rule for this would be to stop using the word "playdate". When I was still pregnant with my daughter I even wrote on my FB page that the first mom to hit me with the word "playdate" was going to get slapped in the head. We never used this word growing up, our moms never used it and somehow we still got to play with our friends all the time. HOW DID WE GET BY????

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The kid I baby-sit has a friend who calls it "having a play" which is the cutest thing ever. She's a sweetie.

      Delete
  73. And if you're the one who is supposed to be watching my kid, please do not leave them with your scuzzy 'uncle' or the weird neighbor dude (or even your 14 year old neice for that matter). I'm sure they're nice people, but I don't know them.

    And if your kid is there to spend the night, please make sure they have their special toy/ night clothes/ pillow/ etc. And please keep your phone on and answer it if I call in the middle of the night (or anytime really) when you kid is screaming and wants to come home.

    ReplyDelete
  74. I would personally love it if a mom sent carrot sticks with her child. We eat *mostly an all natural, organic, non-junk food diet (bracing myself for punch). I had a mom send her kids over with a pack of honeybuns once because she didn't think her children would like any snack I offered!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't see anything wrong with this. Not everyone eats healthfully and/or organically. I personally do, and cannot stand the thought of junkfood entering my body.

      Frankly, most people prefer to eat like scumbags. If they want their children to eat like scumbags, let them! Who cares, as long as it's not implicating you/us?

      Delete
  75. We always get beat up about our routine and how early we put our kids to bed - 7:00 pm - and they're 5 and 7. It's always nice to hear someone else puts theirs to bed at the same time or even earlier! And #9, my biggest pet peeve, mostly because of all of the whining involved. Well said!

    ReplyDelete
  76. How about - Don't barrage your child with questions about how clean our house is, how much "stuff" we have, how well decorated my house is, or any of the other shallow status things you want to know and then either post it on FB or gossip with all your other so called friends about. And, tell your kid that it is rude to make comments about such things either.

    ReplyDelete
  77. 2. Don't take away the playdate as a punishment for bad behavior. ~~~~ Yeah, I'm going to have to disagree with your #2 here. If my kid does something wrong and needs to be punished, you can be sure that the best deterrent from those behaviors in the future is to take away something they really, really like or really, really want. We're not raising YOUR kids, too, just ours and if we have to take away a play date, so be it. Why reward our child with a playdate if they just threw the biggest tantrum ever and smacked their sibling or one of us parents in the face? Hell NO, I'm not going to go let him play at a friend's house. Little runt can stay in his room for an hour and see how he likes that. If your kid gets upset, then explain to your kid that his friend did something really bad and is grounded. Teach your kids about cause and effect, behavior and punishment, consequences for being an little asshole, know what I'm sayin'? Besides, just tell your kid you're sorry his friend can't come over but hey, let's drive to mcd's and grab an ice cream cone and then go home and he can play in the sprinkler ( for example, of course). What's the harm in that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mary McDonough SmithJuly 15, 2012 at 10:21 PM

      I can see both sides of this one. While the playdate that they have been looking forward to seems like a good thing to take away, please keep in mind that that punishment does not occur in a vacuum. I've had to tell other parents to not include my child in your child's punishment. It's not fair to either of the kids. If it continues being an issue then I have no problem telling the offending parent that there will be no more plans made.

      Delete
  78. Ok, I just can't NOT say anything about something: To the "Just Drop Off and Leave" moms that don't want to talk to their kids' friend's mom or dad: I understand not wanting to chat for half an hour but this is one HUGE problem we face in society these days - no one knows each other anymore! Don't you want to talk to the parents just a little bit to sort of get to to know what kind of people you're dealing with? Or what kind of people will be babysitting your kid one of these days? It's very possible you just might make a really good friend, someone that you can count on and trust with your child. Whatever happened to getting to know the other parents? When I was growing up in my neighborhood, all the parents knew each other. We would come and go in each other's homes and each parent always knew each other's phone numbers just in case one of us got a wild hair and ventured off a couple blocks too far and was later than usual getting home. They always talked to each other, even if they didn't particularly like each other because us kids spent lots of time in each other's houses. You can't just ignore society so you can take care of your shit - especially when society is where your kids are. Check your ego, already. Find out what kind of people the other parents really are. The worst that can happen is you didn't get to make a couple of phone calls that day. Now THAT would just be terrible, wouldn't it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree. Parents need to meet each other. My older son has told me he's been to his friend's house and hardly seen the parents. And when I went to pick up, the parent did not come to the door. When I asked where the parent was, the kid said they were busy. And when parents come to pick up their kids, they should come to the door and how about a "thank you" for watching their kid? I had a guy come to pick up his kid - sat in his car looking at me sitting on the porch - didn't bother to say hello or thank you. Where are the manners, people?

      Delete
  79. All of your rules are my rules and have been for years. Love, love them. My kid is 11 now and arranges her own play dates, although she doesn't call them that. She'll call her friend and say, "Wanna hang out?" I sill make her tell her friend to okay it with the parents and set time parameters. But I would add these things: One, kids who come over are there to play with my kid (or hang out), not play with me. I am not the mother who is going to set up a craft table. At 11 (and even at 7) they can do that themselves. Sure I'll get the supplies they can't reach, etc. but I'm not going to have a frame decorating party all set up on my dining room table. Second, the minute a kid says she is bored I tell her she can clean my house and I'll be happy to show her how to do it. I've trained my own kid and she never, ever says she's bored. She did have a friend over a few years ago, a boy, who said he was bored and actually ended up swiffing my entire house. He went home and told his mother he had the best play date ever. Go figure. But I must say you hit all the other points that drive me completely bananas. Love this post. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  80. God, this is a subject that really hits me where I live. (Literally) I've got a few more. Tell your kids to KNOCK on the door instead of just barging into my house and running up the stairs. Also tell them to refrain from rifling through my refrigerator and taking out juice boxes without asking, rifling through my cupboards, pulling out every toy my kid owns and throwing half of them on over the railing onto the first floor, no going into my bedroom or my other child's bedroom, don't let my dogs out of their crate - they're in there for a reason. #9! I am SO with you on #9, as this happens to me all the time. The last time, when I suggested we grab a bite when our husbands were both not going to be home, it morphed into dinner. At my house. Which I cooked. For mom AND kids. And then mom promptly announced it was time to go. What? No dessert and coffee?? I know. Suckuh.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Makes me glad my boys are 19 and 15. Playdates have sure changed.

    ReplyDelete
  82. You have younger kids than I do, so you haven't gotten to this rule yet. I have teens and here is my additional playdate rule... Once your child is 13, do NOT call me to make a "playdate" with my teen. Good Heavens woman! If our children want to "play" they are old enough to figure out how to call (or text or IM) each other. If they aren't calling each other at that age.. guess what? They are big girls (boys)and have decided that they don't really want to "play" together, even if you desperately want them to do so.

    ReplyDelete
  83. Totally agree with the last two moms of teens who posted. Thank god those playdate days are over. And if people are actually posting about the specifics of other people's houses and playdate behavior on fb? That is really sad.

    ReplyDelete
  84. I have one for you. Last week I invited a kid over for my 10-year-old son. I was very specific in my email: "Can Daniel come and play"? The mom came to drop him off at 1:30 p.m. and promptly invited herself in with the younger sibling! To make things worse, this mom is chatty Cathy on steroids and other than sending our kids to the same school, we have little in common. Do you know what time she left? 8 PM!!!!! And this only because I threw a gazillion hints about how late it was getting, and how I had to prepare dinner and still needed to go to the market... un-freakin-believable! I had so many things I wanted to do during the playdated and all my plans went up in smoke. So my rule is: I invited your kid for a playdate, NOT YOU. So don't stay unless I invite you.

    ReplyDelete
  85. When kids are tiny and we are both stay-at-home moms, and it's agreed that every child is accompanied by an adult on a play date, please don't hire a babysitter and send her over with the kid.
    Baby play dates for SAHMS are as much, or more, about moms meeting new friends than they are about the kids playing together. I am not here to entertain your babysitter while you take a nap!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Omg! I totally agree with you! I have had this happen so many times and it is so rude!

      Delete
    2. As a former nanny, this happened on my end SO many times. Do you know a)how awkward it is for US to sit there and make conversations with the "visiting mom" and B)there's always that "our rules vs your rules" situation. I also had moms invite other kids over SANS mom, and would literally show up after school with another kid with no warning for me whatsoever. Please do not presume that your nanny or sitter is going to gladly now be responsible for and wiling to provide the above list for another kid, free of charge and discussion. Also, if it has been pre-arranged and it is your house and nanny/sitter that the child is coming to visit, you NEED to tell the parents "oh, by the way, I'm sounding all Mother of the Year and setting this great playdate up and promising projects and cookie baking but really it will be my sitter here with the girls, k?" This allows the parent to opt out or to offer the playdate at their house if they aren't comfortable with a 19 year old watching five hyperactive 4 year olds. Or whatever the case may be.

      Delete
  86. Saw some comments mentioning sitters so made me think of a rule. DON'T INVITE OTHER KIDS OVER FOR WHEN YOU HAVE A SITTER! I've had this happen to me a few times, I show up and the parents are like "Oh, their friends are going to be over until 5, is that okay?" What am I supposed to say? And it always seems like it's the demon spawns from hell that are over, and of course the demon spawns from hell make the normally well behaved kids that I originally agreed to babysit turn into demon spawns from hell, not just while the friends are there, but for the rest of the evening.

    ReplyDelete
  87. Rule 2 is terrible! I def cancel play-dates if that punishment fits the crime. Not only is it a great idea its very effective! Life is full of disappointments and not everything is about "your child happiness." I am glad that your child is disappointed. That is an unintended benefit because now your child is more likely to respect my house rules and I will never have to repeat myself when I ask them to stop running up and down the halls and/or not shriek. Not only that but now I also have your child as an ambassador advising my child to behave so that he/she can play over during the coming weekend. Peer pressure is a powerful tool.

    ReplyDelete
  88. Ha! Love the list! Excellent rules. I think life was better when we were kids - going house to house looking for someone to play with. These organized playdates drive me crazy, especially now that my kids are 9 and 10! I don't want to set up a "playdate" 2 months in advance. Just get a posse together and hang out... outside.

    ReplyDelete
  89. Here are my 2 biggest issues.
    1. Teach your kids that they need to help clean up before they leave. I always give a 10 minute heads up for cleaning up and some kids are great and jump in. Others look at me like an alien. I am sorry, if you are going to come to my house and create a cyclone, you are not going to leave my kid to clean up after you. I expect that my kids clean up before they leave their friends' houses.
    2. Teach your kid to be nice. If your kid comes over to play with kid A and is a complete jackrock to kidds B and C, I am going to send his little hiny packing! You don't come to my house and think you are going to be a jerk to my kids. I am always to happy when my kids have friends over who are just cool and play with anyone who is there. Even if they don't play with them, they are nice and can talk and laugh with them as if they are human beings that actually live there rather than treating them like they shouldn't even be in their own house. It is called teaching your kids common oh I don't know...civility and kindness.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Can we say micro-managing" What ever happened to kids just calling and saying "hey bobby wanna play?" and then they play and the parents stay the heck out of their hair and let them use their own brains to figure out a way out of boredom and as for snacks let the parents provide a snack or not. Seriously your kids aren't going to know how to do anything by themselves when they grown up.

    ReplyDelete
  91. After reading a lot of the rants, it sounds like a lot of people are bothered by whatever another person does.

    Bring the kids to the door? Don't! Because the other mother doesn't want to fuck with you and a conversation. Drop off your kids at the curb? Don't! Because the mother needs instructions from you.

    Feed your child before you get there? Don't! Because the other mother wants to feed a special snack. Save lunch until you drop off your child because of said special snack? Don't! Because the other mother doesn't have time to feed your asshat kid their freakin' food, especially if they have a deadly allergy. That's a pain in the mother's ass and we don't want that.

    Your child has been a true royal pain all day and doesn't deserve any sort of treat so you call to cancel? Don't! Because their kid has been great and deserves to be totally happy. Send your cranky child even though you should cancel? Don't! Because that parent doesn't want to put up with the shit to tried to keep from them in the prior example.

    What a whole lot of lose-lose situations. How about no one do anything as far as playdates go and then no one has a reason to name call their kids' friends or bitch about the parents.

    ReplyDelete

  92. LOL!!!!! I am sooooo cracking up at all these rules and S***. You sound like a B**** for real. Why even bother with play dates at all? Why not just meet up at a park and be done w/ it. I am lucky to still be close friends w/ the same girls since middle school and now (18 yrs later) our children are around the same age. I trust them and know that they have my childs best interest at heart just as I do their children.

    ReplyDelete