My Rules for MOMS at Playdates

A few months ago I came up my list of rules for playdates for KIDS.  Many of you asked me for rules for playdates for MOMS.  These are the rules I came up with.

Keep in mind, these are rules for the moms on the periphery of my children's social scene. There are many moms who I am close to and whose children play with mine very often (I'm looking at you Sandy, Sherry, Mary, Jamie, Misty, etc.).  We don't need rules, because we're all normal with one another.  I do not want these mothers to think these rules are for them, because they are not.  

1.  Be on time.  For drop off and/or pick up.  If you're late for drop off, my kid is anxious and he's worried your kid might not be coming.  He's excited and ready to play and he's driving me crazy with "When will Xavier be here??"  I don't know, sweetie, Xavier's asshat mommy never called to say she was running late. That being said, if you're going to be late for either drop off or pick up, I'd prefer drop off.  Most of the time, a couple hours is perfect and I don't need Xavier hanging around for four hours wondering what's for dinner.

2.  Don't take away the playdate as a punishment for bad behavior.  My kid is looking forward to playing with your kid and the last thing I need is for you to call me to cancel 20 minutes before I'm supposed to drop my kid off.  I'm sorry your kid was a twat and I commend you for having consequences, but don't upset my kid.  Figure out another punishment.

3.  When you are the hostess - provide a kid-friendly snack.  It doesn't need to be Doritos, but my kids will never belly up to the table for slices of avocado and cups of soy milk.  How about an apple and a glass of water?  I used to belong to a playgroup with a leader who had quite the opinion about snacks.  She felt like no one should have a snack and the rest of us felt like there should definitely be snacks.  This was back when we all had toddlers.  We expected the hostess (we all took a turn hosting) to provide a kid-friendly snack AND a mom-friendly snack (no, not booze, but I don't think anyone would have turned down a mimosa had it been offered).  After this woman took charge and banned snacks, the attendance of the playgroups plummeted.  Coincidence?  I don't think so.

4.  If you're not the hostess - leave your snack at home.  Unless your kid has a life threatening allergy, do not insult me by sending a "healthy" snack with your kid.  I am not an idiot.  I'm not going to serve your kid Cocoa Puffs, Mountain Dew and Fun Dip.  I might give them a treat, but isn't that what playdates are about?  It's a special occasion and sometimes it's fun to splurge a little.  Maybe have a Popsicle on a hot day or warm homemade cookies on a cold one?  (Ha!  Who am I fooling?  I've never made homemade cookies, but sometimes I think about making them during a playdate.)  Don't be so uptight.  It's one afternoon.

5.  If you are the hostess - have a plan.  My kids are 5 and 7 now and pretty much entertain their friends when they're over.  However, within an hour I will most certainly hear:  "I'm bored." or "So and so is being bossy and won't play what I want to play."  Have a few ideas that you can bust out if it gets tense or else all hell is going to break loose.  Hint:  No one ever says "Nah" to a water gun battle - remember, just not in the house.

6.  Tell me if my kid was an asshole at your house.  I don't live in a bubble.  I know that my kids can be bratty.  Don't hide it from me.  Please tell me so I can deal with them.  I'm not going to get mad at you unless you tell me some bullshit like:  "Percy was a complete angel, he was just working on his multiplication tables and writing a letter to the impoverished family we've adopted in Guatemala when Gomer came out of nowhere and hit him in the head with a Nerf sword.  Poor Percy, I've never seen him cry like that.  It just broke his heart to have his friend treat him so badly."  My guess is if Percy really got whacked over the head with a Nerf sword, he whacked Gomer in the 'nads first.  Now, if it was Adolpha I heard this about...I'm just not sure.  She might have sneaked up on her letter-writing friend and ambushed her.  You never can tell with that girl.

7.  Turn off the TV.  A few video games is OK and can be fun on a playdate, but don't let the kids sit there and veg out watching "My Little Pony."

8.  Be the adult.  I realize you want the playdate to be fun, but I'll tell you what I tell my kids: make good choices.  If the kids ask to build a fort, you should say "Yes."  If they ask to use power tools to build the fort, you should say "No."  

9.  When I come to pick up my kid, please know that it isn't adorable when your kid tries to invite herself to my house - for later that same day.  Am I the only one this happens to?  Our kids have just spent 2 hours together having a great time.  I arrive to pick up my child and the hostess' kid whines, "Can I come home with you now and keep playing with Adolpha?"

The hostess stands there with a stupid smile on her face.

"No," I say. "you just had a playdate with Adolpha.  We'll have you over sometime soon.  I promise."

The kid won't be assuaged.  She keeps it up, "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?  Can't I come right now?  Can I mom?"

The mom (still smiling stupidly) says, "Well, you don't have anything until dinner tonight at 7:30."

7:30?  I put my kids to bed at 6:30.

"Yeah, tonight won't work.  Sorry."

"Oh, Ginger, I'm sorry, but it looks like Adolpha's mom doesn't understands how much you enjoy playing with Adolpha."

"I love Adolpha," the kid says.

"Yes.  I understand that.  Just not today.  Another day," I say looking at the hostess for a little back up.  I am met with a vacant smile.  "Get your shoes, Adolpha!"

"Hey Gingy, it's OK.  I just don't think Adolpha's mom has time today."

"Maybe tomorrow?" the kid asks.

"Ohhh, good idea, Ginger.  Good problem solving.  What do you think, Adolpha's mom?"

Tomorrow?  Are you fucking kidding me with this?

"No, not tomorrow.  Adolpha has plans tomorrow.  We'll call you in a couple of weeks.  Get your shoes, Adolpha.  Now."

The final two rules are a bit tough to follow, but try and stick with me.  I am really picky and I think it's hard for some mothers to figure out what I want, but here goes.

10.  Don't be an asshole when we see each other - oh and don't pretend you didn't see me and then suddenly now you see me because that's bullshit.  Our kids are friends.  You and I have mutual friends.  You've seen me on more than one occasion now and you know my name.  It won't kill you to be polite and say fucking hello.  I'm not asking for dinner and a movie, I'm just looking for some fucking civility while I'm waiting for my kids to put their shoes on.

11.  Don't be a phony baloney.  Yeah, our kids seem to enjoy one another's company, but to be honest, you and I have nothing in common other than we both gave birth in the same year.  You don't like me anymore than I like you, so let's not pretend we are BFFs at cheer camp.  Just say hello, make a little small talk about how busy you are and how fast the summer/school year/Christmas break is going and let's move on.  

OK, what did I forget?  Let's hear your rules.

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NC Boise said...

I have another to add... No chores on playdates. My daughter was on aplaydate and the mom said her daughter had to complete her chores before moving on to the next activity. The mom offered my daughter her daughters chores money if her daughter didn't help (guess she knew her daughter had a problem following directions). So my daughter got to work because she wanted to get it over with and play. When the daughter wasn't helping it gave my daughter more incentive to work for the money. Whne the mom came in and checked her daughter pretneded to be helping. My daughter didn't get the chore money and ended up to doing all the work. Worst part of all of it... it was to clean the bathrooms (mater bath too), the sinks and toilets. Gross!!!! - other peoples germs - adult germs. I don't even have my daughter clean the adult bathroom. The mom is so oblivious of what is and is not appropriate. I wasnt to punch her in the throat! That or make her kid come over and pick up our dogs poops!!!

Anonymous said...

Your all "asshats" including the blogger.

Most (not all) Moms now a days are the most narcissistic bunch on the planet. Someone else here totally nailed it too. The Moms are just as high maintenance as the kids.
You all should step outside yourselves a sec and really take a look at the shit you wrote here. You AND your kids are high maintenance.

Screw that one woman for calling the other an "asshat" for speaking the truth... and screw the blogger for her high and mighty opinion of herself and her opinions. Everyone is different. Its what makes the world go round. Don't put out rules for other peoples behavior. THATS "asshatish". Either have an understanding with another parent or don't. Life doesn't revolve around you or your child or your way of thinking and doing. You need rules in place or don't want rules in place, act like an adult and establish that with the other adults.

If another mom or kid has needs, be fucking adult about it, or live in your fucked up bubble of thinking you don't want to be kind to others or sensitive to their needs, but then don't turn around and expect anyone to bend over backwards to help you or your little Johnny or Janie or be nice to them or you.

Seriously people, its called kindness and compassion for others. If you cant muster it then at least do it in the hopes that someone wont be a dick to you and your child you selfish self-centered "asshats". There are a lot of folks out there. Be an adult, communicate your needs or wants as an adult. This blog makes all moms look like immature assholes.

Another thing, I notice a lot of Moms like to ask their friends and relatives to watch their kids. They think because people don't have kids that they are automatically available to watch yours as if they have no lives of their own, or that their life couldn't possibly be as tough and complicated as yours. Sorry you decided to have a kid, but that was your decision. Your friends and relatives didn't sign a contract saying, when you had a child, they automatically become your goto person or nanny on call. They have lives of their own, they shouldn't have to explain that. They shouldn't be made to feel guilty because they want to enjoy some peace and quiet without a 2 year old running around the house. They may have made a choice to not have kids, either way that is their business and they are not responsible for yours. Part of the responsibility of having a child is knowing at some point you will need someone to watch it, for whatever reason. That is YOUR responsibility. Your friends and family didn't choose nanny or babysitter as a profession for a reason.They don't want to be one. Hire a proper sitter. If you keep unloading your kids on people around you, they WILL start to resent you for it. It doesn't matter if your friend has nothing planned that day but to hang around the house and stare at the wall. That is their time. They are allowed to do that. It doesn't make them automatically available for you.

B.H. said...

If I don't like the kids or their parents, there is no play date... Kids are a reflection of their parents. I really think this is funny, but don't agree with the approach..

Not guilty said...

Ok I am super late on this reply but the comment above could have been written by me. Been there- done that! Our neighbors had 3 kids over to 'see my son' on an almost daily basis. Sometimes they even brought the baby brother for me to watch. They would eat 2 whole pizzas in one sitting. They were never invited over. The mom or grandma never asked if it was ok. They came for every cookout, birthday, and holiday- showing up out of the blue and staying well past all other guest. They even showed up at a few keg parties when my son was with grandma. They'd be playing in my yard on the swinger, fort, and trampoline when I got home. Who allows their children to wander around the yard of neighbors? And we live in a very country type area... you know the type where random dogs run around and everyone has guns to scare off rabid animals and/or uninvited guest.

It drove me crazy. The rudeness of it all is what really got to me. These kids acted as if they didn't have food or even water unless they were with us, which is really the only reason I never sent them home. But the inconsiderate punks that were called parents really didn't seem to give 2 craps about who there kids were with or where they were. They rang my doorbell to "visit/play" with my 4 yr old son at 7:30am on Saturday - who says yes to their children when asked if they can go to the neighbors before 8am on Saturday?

Unknown said...

Make sure your gluttonous kid has some manners. I don't want to hear her say: "I want a snack." Or when they've had a snack, demand, "I want some more." Please, teach your kid to say "please" puh leez! Otherwise, maybe I'll get annoyed with her rudeness and say that we're fresh out.

Also, when your kid comes over to my house to play, I don't want to continually converse with your kid. I don't mind answering the odd question, but I don't need your kid asking me who I'm on the phone with or try to chat while I'm in MY bedroom folding laundry. Go play with my kid and lets respect some of those boundaries.

Also, I've found chatting and humor between a mom and a non-English speaking mom can be dicey and make for lots of awkward silences.

I too hate the playdate

Sarah Brentyn said...

1. I’m always late. For everything. All the time.

3. I suck at being a hostess so “There’s beer in the fridge, wine on the counter” is what I say when I have parties. Kids? I don’t know. Um. “Here’s some Pringles”?

4. I always bring food for my kid. No allergies, but he’s got sensory issues and can’t eat a lot of yummy “kid” food.

5. A plan? Plans make me itch. My mom didn’t have plans when I was a kid. We just played. Like, with cardboard boxes and stuff.

6. I don’t do this anymore. But I want people to tell me if MY kid was a jerk. Most parents I've dealt with get pissed if I say their kid wasn’t a perfect angel.

I failed your test. Sure did. I’m good with the rest of these but, crap, I hope you’re the exception and not the rule.

Jen said...

When i was a kid, we were never allowed inside the house of someone whose parents my parents had never met, and vice versa. I could not have friends over if my parents hadn't met theirs. also, any outings outside of the house, at least one of the supervising parents had to be someone my parents had met. This seems like common sense to me even now. there are so many creeps and weirdos, why on earth would you send your kids somewhere with people you didn't know... just because he was "Janey's dad" that made him okay? yea, i don't think so.

wellThee said...

First of all; get over yourself--you're overreacting with your rules...please!

Life happens, so unless someone is habitually late then give it a rest and have some compassion. Your kids will learn far more from seeing you have compassion than for your demanding people do this & that like a spoilt brat yourself.

#2 is crazy--it's not all about your brats--parents are the most important teachers kids will ever have, so if a parents needs to cancel a playdate as punishment to make their child understand a lesson; its not up to you. Your kids can learn from you how to handle disappointment in life. Demanding that people don't disappoint you is just childish and silly.

I agree with #3 & #4

I completely disagree with #5--kids these days are not allowed the luxury of being bored. LET THEM BE BORED!!!! They learn to use their imaginations to come up with games and who knows what else. This 'entertain me' culture is getting out of control and it's really no good for our kids.

I agree with #6

#7 ever heard of 'when in Rome do as the Romans do?' Important for your kids to learn this so they don't become annoying boundary breakers of others in life. You have no control over what happens at someone else's house. Spend time getting to know the families of your kid's friends; TEACH your kids what's ok and what's not ok for them to experience when they're at someone else's house. Its far better for your kid to say to Billy at his house "my mom doesn't like us to watch tv on playdates, can we play something else?' This is far better than to try to control another mother, another household, another're a bit deluded here and quite disrespectful. I don't believe in kids watching tv on play dates but I have allowed it at times when the circumstances go there. Again, teaching your kids what is and isn't ok is the best security you have on this topic.

#8 & 9...sigh...get a life lady!

wellThee said...

you're great...don't listen to this crazy person and her stupid rules:)

wellThee said...

a million percent correct!

jayasathya said...

There are basic manners and courtesy for the guest mom who drops off and also for the host mom who has planned for it. These rules sounds completely like a richest people problem to me. If you are bringing up these many logistics for a simple playdate then you must have so much of time and money to spend on it. Wow this sounds completely a not so simple thing. I can't have any playdate with so rule based people who keeps measuring me and my kid in every instant.

Anonymous said...

Guilty of having a son with severe reactions to food. Also guilty of thinking the box of pasta comment is hilarious. Seriously funny. It's like sending over a bag of almond flour, expecting the hostess to make special cookies for my child. That's funny. Make the pasta ahead of time, and put it in a container for your child to eat at his friend's house, silly!

Mommykinz said...

Here's one - Playdates are a two way street. If your kid comes to my house, at some point, you should invite mine to your house. I am not running the Mothers Day Out program! My son had his first sleepover in 1st grade. We are about an hour into the playdate and the kid comes running in the house bleeding from his mouth. They were shooting off this Nerf rocket thing, and he put his face in front of it just before it shot out. Knocked out his front tooth. I tried calling his mother, and she didn't pick up. He's allergic to the cat and his face has swollen to the point that he can barely open his eyes. No allergy medicine - knew we had a cat - didn't mention he was allergic. The allergy is making him snore like a train, so my son comes in around 2 a.m. and says he is going to sleep in another room. About 4 a.m., I open my eyes, and there is the kid with the swollen face and missing tooth staring at me - wondering where my son is. Later I am in the shower, and find him standing on the other side of the glass door staring at me. What's for breakfast? What???? When I finally reached his mother, she told me that she so rarely gets an evening out, that she just decided to switch off the cell phone. And when I dropped him off at the house, she left us standing on the porch as she quickly said, "We'd love to have E over one night, but we have sleep issues." No shit!

Mommykinz said...

My son was invited to go to Great American Pizza, along with 3-4 other kids. She didn't mention sending money, but I did. I always do, to avoid an uncomfortable situation. Apparently none of the other kids brought money, and rather than pay for them, the mother took my son's money and split it amongst the other children, which didn't leave much after paying for lunch. It's okay if you don't plan to pay, but please be clear about it up front.

Mommykinz said...

In defense of working moms, I had a neighbor once who sent her 3 year old to my house every weekday, the minute I got home from work with the kids. Her reason was that "I feel so bad that your kids have to go to daycare all day and don't get to play with other kids". What do you think they do there????

Unknown said...

Well, it's a difficult situation indeed. However, our kids (and their friend's moms) understand that privileges can and will be removed if expectations are not followed. Part of the consequence is knowing that their decision to do/do not whatever is not only affecting themselves, but their friend. We use this to teach responsibility for your actions. We also typically have the child call their friend and explain to them in their own words why they cannot come, which makes the consequence have even more impact, and also seems to help the other child "get it". This goes for birthday parties or other get-togethers as well.

Unknown said...

This exact thing happened to me! My neighbor and her mother dropped her kids off at my house (without calling to ask me) and came to a function that we were both invited to attend. She walks in and says: "I couldn't find a sitter, so I just dropped my kids off at your house, hope that is ok". I reamed her out, she left and went home and got her kids. Meanwhile why not just have your mom stay with the kids until your husband gets home??? Seriously felt taken advantage of.

Unknown said...

I'm glad not everyone is a jackhole about #2. i read that earlier debate and my brain exploded. a playdate is not just about your kid, it's about both kids. If it's something that's been planned for weeks and weeks and is all your kid is thinking about, cancelling is not just punishment for your own child. Would you do the same if the plan was a visit to a favorite Aunt's or Disneyworld? no, because you have time/money/emotions invested in such other adventures and you would think of another punishment. But apparently the feelings of another child and parent mean nothing.

Unknown said...

Anonymous, if you have an outing planned, you can still take your kids. I am not going to have my kid act like a little shit and then reward him by allowing him to go on a play date. I know it will really disappoint your kid, and it sucks all around, but that's the way it goes sometimes. The important thing is to distinguish when taking away a play date is appropriate punishment. Taking it away for not cleaning a room is probably not the best because if you want their room clean before they leave, they should be cleaning it well before the play date. But sometimes behavior warrants it. Sorry that it's not your/your kid's problem, but it's my responsibility to make sure my kid doesn't grow up to be a jerk, and sometimes that's just the breaks.

Unknown said...

I've had this to a lesser degree, the only thing I can suggest is putting your foot down and telling the other kids to leave when you are having lunch, say " we're having lunch now and I'm sure your mum is expecting you back for lunch too". If they say no tell them you don't have enough in to feed everyone or pop by their house to tell their mum you have fed them so they know. Sometimes you just have to tell the other kids 'you have to leave now, we'll see you again another day'.

Srsly Me said...

Don't take advantage. If only Frizzle is invited, don't drop off Foley too, especially when Foley is in diapers and it will be my job to entertain Foley. Foley is too young to play the way Frizzle and my child want to play. Foley didn't have clean diapers for changing. After about four hours when Foley & Frizzle were picked up, I'm betting poor Foley had Can't-Sit-Down-Diaper-Rash cooking. NOT FAIR to poor Foley, and not fair to the parent who signed on to supervise TWO children, NOT THREE. said...

As a single guy, maybe it's over my head, but I come here to read Jen because she's funny to me, and I don't even have kids. If some of y'all are so butt-hurt over her words, which are supposed to be FUNNY and not an INSTRUCTION MANUAL, go find some shitty generic mommy blog to whine at. said...

Follow-up.. as a non-parent who wonders where some of these brat kids get their sense of entitlement, poor manners, and inflated sense of importance... well, I'm finding out.

LaurelMia said...

Number 2 - definitely! Canceling out on someone last minute is just plain rude. And no I do not think the world revolves around my daughter. You've just taught your kid the world revolves around YOU and your right to ruin anyone's day. Find another freaking punishment people!!!!

Rebecca Rose said...

We have this issue all the time. My daughter's friend has a son that is the same age as my son. Sounds like a win win, right? Wrong. We made the mistake of inviting both kids with us to see a movie. Disaster. The little girl is sweet and quiet. The little boy is a hell lemur! He was 8 at the time... Talked nonstop about horror movies. I'm thinking "why do your parents let you watch this stuff?" He's loud. Disruptive. And not the influence I want for my son. We did this once and once only for my son's birthday... My kids are homeschooled and we were excited that there was a little boy my sons age for him to play with. Now EVERY time my daughter has a sleep over, they send the boy, too. Don't ask... Just send him with his sister. They drop them off and don't even knock on the door... Just drop them off and speed away without talking to us. Tuck and roll, kiddies.... Don't ask when we'd like the kids picked up. And send the kids a text message when they are picking them up... Don't even come up to the door and say hello or thank us for having BOTH kids over. When they used to live in the neighborhood, I didn't send all of my kids down there unless they specifically asked me to.

Cleverclogs said...

Don't be half an hour late picking up my child without texting me.

Don't drive up my drive and park by the back door when the front door is 10 yards from the street and there is ample parking space. You're a visitor, not family.

Don't then back your car out over my lawn because there is a deceptive curve in the drive and you can't be bothered to try and negotiate it.

Don't make my child sit on the floor between the front seats and the back seats of your car because you've been moving house or having a spring clean or whatever and the seats are full of stuff (I was told this by my child afterwards). You knew you were going to collect my child. Make sure there is a safe place for them to sit and be clipped in.

Don't take my child to a supermarket to buy sweets without having asked in me advance (and out of my child's earshot) when I rarely take my children to a supermarket myself to avoid the "can we buy sweets" whine.

Do not take my child to anyone else's house unless I know and approve in advance. I may have a reason for my child not visiting that house or that family. And they were supposed to have a playover at YOUR house, not anyone else's.

And most of all, do not do all of these things at the same time for a FIRST playover - which is what actually happened.

Unknown said...

The only time I really want the other parent(s) to stick around is if they have a higher maintenance child that might need specific supervision or care that might be beyond me. If it's as simple as a food allergy, just provide a food your child can eat and will eat, and please give me a list IN WRITING of exact what your child can't have. If it's more of an ingredient item than a whole food item, please give me some examples so I don't accidentally feed your child a food they can't eat. But if your child is prone to meltdowns, reacting to getting overstimulated, may or may not need meds, I would appreciate the back-up.

Atrium said...

Erika, some kids have food allergies. However, I fully believe if a kid has an allergy, the parent needs to send something with them.

Atrium said...

Love this comment!!!!!

Atrium said...

PALMommy, why are you calling kids "idiots"?

Atrium said...

Fucking bitch

Irishembi said...

I can't tell you how many times my oldest's friends have been little snots or downright mean to my younger two. I don't put up with that. I will call them out on it and remind them "they live here, you don't," and usually that ends it. Otherwise, they go home.

Atrium said...

Cy, plain pasta by itself is NOT a full mean, dipshit.

Unknown said...

Funny post. My baby is young, so I haven't had a baby dropped off. Play dates are new and seem a bit weird. I'll have to remember about some of these when my baby gets older.

Who Let the Mum Out?

Unknown said...

This blog & all comments was so comforting to read in that one does not have to feel like a big bad witch but rather feel normal especially you’re the hostess (which I am MOST of the time) and the parent of the guest child takes the mickey out of playdates …
During the week, we have a helper that takes care of B (who is 3 years old). B has playdates on Tues, Thurs & alternate Fri's. The duration of the playdate is normally 2 hours (was 2.5 but by the end of it, the helper was exhausted).
These are my Golden Rules to Remember:
1. Always confirm the playdate with the nanny/ parent
2. If the child has special needs, it’s a good idea to have the nanny stay during the playdate and be the go-to person for any issues that may come up.
3. If the child requires a special snack either because of an allergy or food preference, the nanny must bring a snack for her/ him.
4. Keep to the times and days noted.
5. If a playday is missed, it is missed. It cannot be made up the day after unless advance notice has been given and an alternate day agreed to.
6. Make sure the nanny/ parent is available to pick their child up at any time during the playdate should an emergency comes up that requires the time to be cut.
7. The nanny/ parent must arrive 5 or 10 minutes early and have the children help clean-up.
8. Reciprocate
9. Limit screen time (1 hour only)
Personally, I don't have an issue with dietary needs, overactive kids, etc but what really boils my blood is:
- When a parent thinks its okay to send their kids over at 08h30 and (in some cases) have them leave at 16h30!
- When the parent thinks (despite having their own helper ) its okay to send their kids over on a non-playday just because they work from home and have clients coming over
- When the parent lacks common courtesy/ etiquette in asking if it’s okay that their kids come over on a non-playday (and if, the response is no... respect the response even if it comes from the helper without having to shout at her)
- When the kids are told "Kids, B is having her breakfast. Come back at 14h00.", only to have them come every 5 to 10mins asking if they can come over
- When the parent shouts at my helper just because she has declined allowing the kids over because she has chores to do & it’s a non playday
- When my child is used as an excuse just to watch DSTV thereby leaving my child to play in the garden by herself.
- When the kids walk into the bedroom when my husband & I talking & make themselves comfortable on my gym equipment and bed (with their dirty feet)
- When the kids are in my & husband’s face expecting us to entertain them rather than them entertain themselves coz either there is nothing on TV to watch or I've switched it off to have them actually PLAY.
- When I lay down the rules only for my helper to make exceptions, thereby opening the flood gates to a series of unwelcomed visits/ playdays
I feel as though - gone are the days were kids entertained themselves and respected their friend's home and parents. Where if the parent said "OK kids, its time to go home" they wouldn't turn their back and continue playing. Where if A goes over to B’s house, the only time you hear from & see either of is at lunch or snack time.
I don't mind playdates/ playdays as it allows for flexibility and everyone wins so as long as the “game is played right.” Also, parents must teach their kids etiquette and they should practice the same.

Jamie said...

I thank my goddess every single day my youngest is now19!!!
Ladies, don't think it stops at a certain age either. Last year my daughter's best friend got kicked out of her parents house (during the school year!), so she moved in with us. Her mother dropped her off here and didn't even bother to meet me! I could be a crazy drug dealer lady! (I'm not, but you know what I'm sayin).
When Bean was little I despised playmates. I finally had to put my foot down. I was a stay at home mom, not a damn daycare. That shit stopped when I presented the other mom who dropped all 3 of her kids off at my house for 2 days (without asking if they could stay!!!) with a bill for my babysitting services, including meals.
I've actually called the police on one "mom" left her kid who was 3 with me for a week! A whole damned week! She didn't answer calls or texts the entire time. She actually got pissed at me for calling the cops. Excuse me bitch, but you abandoned your child!#sorrynotsorry

Anonymous said...

You sound like a nut. No wonder people pretend not to see you.

Unknown said...

To one of the Anonymous posts: You don't honestly think she named her kids Gomer(son) & Adolpha, do you? It's a humour blog, & I commend her on disguising her kids' privacy in such a goofy ridiculous way! Every now & then she posts something to the complainers to set it straight. . .

To: all

Very good points made, yes! As to allergies -- that's up to the allerghic child's parents to teach them & to ensure safety at other places. I knew a wonderful mom whose son was at risk for anaphylaxis, from even molecules of peanuts; she trained her son well -- he would never accept any food from anyone, unless that home had been cleared as safe by his mom (& she talked with the other parent to be sure kitchen policies as strict as her own were in place). Maybe the one who brought a box of pasta was awkward in communication; don't hate on her; understand her INTENTION. You could simply say, "I don't find this an appropriate thing to do when dropping your kid at my home. State your allergen parameters; provide alternatibe snacks if it's more complicated than most parents are set up for(e.g. your kid's allergicv to everything but Brazilian rice & Indonesian apples & bottled water); I'm open to bending over backwards for an allergy or intolerance issue, but to a reasonable point -- if one bends too far backwards, the spine snaps. . .

Anonymous said...

Thankfully never problems with playdates when I was a kid. Kids more enjoyed my house being a only child unlike most of them... but I certainly played at theirs too often siblings would join. I don't remember many rules except of course for safety. Too bad playdates can't be that simple and easygoing.

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