Me and My Kids at a PG Movie

The Hubs is pretty cheap and we rarely pay to go see movies at the theater.  Sometimes I miss the theater and then I go and remember why I don't.

Yesterday my mom offered to take me and the kids to the movies.  We went to the "fancy" theater that my kids have never been to.

We sounded like the Clampetts when we walked in the door.

"Whoa.  Fancy!" my son exclaimed.

"Mommy!  There are TWO bathrooms in this movie theater!" my daughter informed me.

The boy saw the unique self serve snack area with bottled sports drinks and salads along with soda, popcorn and candy.  "Look mom!  There's a grocery store in this theater!"

I really need to get the kids out a bit more.

We went to see "We Bought a Zoo."  I was a little concerned, because I usually take my kids to G movies and this one was PG.  I'd been assured by people who had seen this movie the day before how "perfect" it was for kids and I had no desire to sit through "The Muppets," so I took their word for it.

We got there and the theater was pretty full.  We found some seats and got ready for our movie to start.

In case you can't tell from the title, the protagonist in the movie buys a zoo.  So naturally there are lots of animals in the movie.  Every single time an animal came on the screen, the baby sitting behind us would yell out what animal is was:  "Oooh, monkey!  Mama, monkey!!  Lion!  Rarr!"

The first time it was adorable.  The second time it was not as adorable.  By the 30th time all I could think was, "How much did I (my mom) pay to sit here and not hear the movie because these people were too cheap to get a sitter today?"

The baby not only told us the name of every animal that came on the screen (he got them all right, by the way - his parents must be proud of that at least) he talked loudly and cried when the movie got boring for him (no animals on screen).

From what I could tell there were 2 adults with 2 children at this movie.  Why in the world did both adults need to come?  Couldn't one have stayed home with the little guy?  Come on, I get bringing him if they were seeing "The Muppets" or the "Chipmunks," but this was really not a little kid's movie.  Maybe that was the reason why he was there.  One parent was willing to take the hit to stay home and miss "The Muppets," but they both wanted to see the zoo movie?

I'm sure the wife said something like, "You know how much I love Matt Damon and Capuchin monkeys. You should stay home with him."

"Not happening.  He'll need to eat and we both know I don't have what he wants.  Besides, I love Cameron Crowe movies.  They're so heart-warming."

"Hmmm, maybe we should just go see "The Muppets."  Castor has been begging to see it since he saw the commercial a month ago."

"Ugh.  I'd rather stick forks in my eyes before I see that movie."

"I just don't know if this one is appropriate for a 3 year old and an 18 month old baby."

"Eh, it will be fine.  Let's go."

And go they did.  They sat there and let that baby talk, yell, cry, sing, etc. for well over three quarters of that movie.  FINALLY, after people four rows ahead of them started turning around and looking back at them, they got the hint and took the baby and left the theater.  (I'm surprised people didn't applaud.)

They should not have been there.  In fact, WE should not have been there.  It was really not a little kid movie.  The plot was a little much for my kids and for the last half hour the girl just kept asking when it would be over.

I specifically asked the person who recommended this movie for my kids, "Is there any noticeable bad language?  They're really into learning new words these days and I'd rather not have any new ones to explain."

"Oh no, it was perfectly fine.  It's Cameron Crowe!  He makes such positive movies."

Uh huh.  At the end of the movie, a 7 year old girl calls a man a "Dick."  Loudly.  Prominently.

In the quiet of the theater you could hear my 7 year old boy ask his grandmother, "What's a dick?"

My mother replied, "Ask your mother."  Ugh.  Someone please punch me.


93 comments:

Lilliana said...

I took my eleven year old to see The Adventures of Tintin on New Year's Day. Little did I know there would be excessive drinking throughout the entire flick. I also blogged about it. SO PISSED.

mandiessugarbowl said...

I feel your pain with movie theaters and people that bring the young paduans to them. I have been guilty of this myself. But in my defense I would get up with the spawn and take her out and let my husband stay with my other spawn who is actually paying attention. Sometimes too much attention. I got the same thing from her about the male appendege. I took the easy way out and said it was a nickname for someone named Richard. Her reply, "His parents hated him, didn't they?" This is why I love my children!

PTallman said...

I was so hoping my son didn't ask me about the Easter Bunny! Usually they gloss something like that over, so there are no questions, but they didn't in this movie! I feel your pain. Often when my hubs and I want to enjoy a PG13 or even R movie, someone has brought a baby and it really annoys us to the tune of wanting to punch then in the throat!

Anonymous said...

I brought two girls to see it yesterday 8 and 12. There was only one time slot it was playing that we could make it to. When we got to the ticket window the ticket salesman said "this show has subtitles for the hearing impaired-is that ok?" We really had no other choice so I said "sure, I guess". It was horrible. The subtitles took up 1/4 of the screen and we ended up being distracted by them and payming more attention to it than the movie. There were quite a bit of mistakes also. As for the age appropriateness of this movie....NOPE. I cringed when the little girl called the guy a dick also. I assume my eight year old doesnt realize what this word actually means, but she knows its not a nice word and looked at me as if to say "mom, should we be here?". I have to say that the adult content of things in movies and on tv today has deteriorated quite a bit since we were young.

ButteryMuffyn said...

Went to see The Mechanic last year starring the delicious Jason Statham, a violent/noisy/cuss filled movie FOR ADULTS, and had to put up with mummy running up and down the aisle right next to me with a barely 2 yr old girl who was alternately laughing and crying for the entire film. Suggested they take the child out and was told that it was their right to bring her in if they wanted to. Asshole parents in the passive aggressive capital of the world Seattle.

Jen Piwtpitt said...

I totally forgot about the Easter Bunny comment too! My kids noticed, but it was in the middle of the movie and I told them we couldn't talk during the movie. I was hoping they would forget and apparently they have. For now.

Anonymous said...

It must have been a weekend for inappropriate movies. I took my 11 year old to see Warhorse on my MOM's word it would be OK. Lot's of explaining after that one.

Jim Wellington said...

We went to see the latest in the Twilight series when it opened a few months ago. People never cease to amaze me with their lack of common sense. The couple who brought their 3 month old to a movie, yet alone a 10 pm showing of a movie that was clearly one people wanted to actually hear, need their parent card revoked. This kid cried the whole movie. If it wasn't for the guy behind me hacking up both lungs, or the Asian couple in front of us who needed her to translate every line of the movie, I would never have been able to block the crying out.

Anonymous said...

This is the website that I used when my son was a younger person:
http://www.kidsinmind.com/

Don't take the word of other people... This website will list every "bad" word and tell you how many kisses happen and in what context (eg: mother kisses child on cheek, parents involved in kiss on lips, teenagers making out in car) and many other items to help you make the right choice for your child.

Good luck in this cruel world ;)

Kelly said...

My 4th grader who was with me still believes in the Easter Bunny! Grrrrr!

Anonymous said...

I feel your pain and this is why we only ever to to Cine Bistro! Here in Miami we have one and it's a dinner/theater in one and it is 21 and over so no kiddies or teeny boppers allowed. Best thing ever made! I love my 20 month old but if hubby and I really want to see a movie we wouldn't dare take him. I hate seeing babies at the movies.

Trillian said...

Talking helps! I've noticed this before in the Dads at the Science Museum one ... why don't you talk to the people and tell them you feel bothered? Instead, you sit through this or just glare at them.

Katie said...

I can top this. My husband, daughter and I went to see the last Harry Potter movie, which you can imagine was very crowded. It was also like a 9:40PM showing. Anyway, we get our seats and there was one seat in between me and these two women, who were around 40 but were dressed like they thought they were at a nightclub. When we sat down, they smiled at us and then started whispering. I heard them say, "Do you think we should warn them?" So I was thinking, ok, who is sitting in the seat next to me? Several ideas popped in my head, but what walked in, I was not prepared for. A woman, about 35 to 40, with a NEWBORN BABY. I just stared. She had a HUGE diaper bag that she of course rammed into my legs. And the best part, is she breast fed. So I got to hear that and then after, I got to hear her pat the baby's back for about 20 minutes. Are you SERIOUS? Your two friends are here, one of them could not watch the baby? This baby looked like it was about a week old. I just could not believe it.

Samantha said...

I refuse to go to the movie theater anymore partially because I am not paying $10 a ticket to sit in a room full of tweens who's parents decided that the movie theater was a sufficient babysitter. The last time we went to a movie was taking my oldest to see Cars 2 and we had a toddler right behind us. He literally talked, sang, pointed out and named everything that came across the screen. I don't understand how people don't realize that their kid is disrupting the movie for other people! Oh, also during that same movie... A lady a few seats down in the row in front of us played on her bright ass iPad the entire time. People are so inconsiderate. Just as some icing on the cake and a little more fuel to my "I refuse to go to the movie theater" fire... one time I went and saw some horror movie (against my will) and some moronic parents actually brought their 3 or 4 year old and an infant into the movie! A HORROR MOVIE! People like that should be SHOT.

Anonymous said...

What have you got against the Muppets? That was a great movie (and it really wasn't for kids so don't bother taking yours to it).

Anonymous said...

When my third child was about 18 months old my husband and I got a sitter to go to an R rated movie for the first time in oh about 4 years. We had people behind us who had brought a 3ish year old and 5ish year old to see I Am Legend. The kids were rightly terrified and begging to leave and the parents kept shushing them - instead of leaving. As much as a baby/toddler doesn't belong in a PG movie - I am not surprised based on the things I see parents do each day. I was shocked that someone thought it would be ok to bring preschoolers to see a zombie movie! I don't think we have been to an "adult" movie since. Thanks for the heads-up on the Zoo movie - thought it looked like a cute rental.

BTW my kids always act like they have been locked in a closet when we go somewhere even halfway nice - they apparently can't "play it cool" yet so I also need to get them out more.

Anonymous said...

Movie theaters are an increasingly un-fun activity for all of these reasons AND the outrageous prices...I can wait till the movies are out on DVD.

Anonymous said...

I was just ranting about kids being allowed to chatter through movies yesterday! Yes, I do expect a certain level of noise at a kids' movie such as the Chipmunk movie (and, yes, I get bonus mommy points for taking my kid to see it), but, seriously, there is no reason to not start teaching your child that it is not polite to talk at full voice all the way through a movie. Grrr.

On the up side, the "silence your cell phones" PSA before the movie started included the message that the theater management would ask violators to leave! I almost stood up and applauded!

Anonymous said...

I actually took my kids to see The Muppets yesterday, and a couple with a 12 months old came in at the last moment and sat next to us. He behaved about as well as can be expected, fussed about every 15 minutes, but at least the parents took him out of the theater. I'm sorry, just because a movie is rated G doesn't mean a baby can be expected to be quiet and sit through it. When the lights went up I saw that they had two older children with them, sitting one row down in front of them. Why didn't one parent take the older kids, and the other stay home with the baby? Did both parents HAVE to see The Muppets? Couldn't wait for Redbox? I didn't take my kids to their first movie until they were 3, and they still were antsy at that age (but quiet). One parent takes the kids, one stays home. Cheaper and easier. Even today either my husband or I take the kids, not both. Why pay an extra $9?

Laura said...

Love your honesty! I would have had an even tougher time. I would have been on management to get them out of there sooner.

Christie said...

A child ruined it when hubby and I went to see Friends With Benefits. Yep, a movie about casual sex.....lots and lots of casual sex......and we ended up sitting next to the family with young children. They were quiet the whole time but it was just uncomfortable having them right there watching this.

Anonymous said...

People are so idiotic when it comes to common sense with kids and movies. My husband and I witnessed a father bring his 2 kids, a boy and a girl who looked like they were around 10 and 12 years old to...the HANGOVER 2!!!!!! We could not believe it. I wanted to get up and wring that man's neck. What a moron.

Kate said...

We keep to G-rated movies, too. My ex-husband thinks anything is up, however, so my son saw everything from Pirates of the Caribbean to Transformers this summer. Annoyed the hell out of me, because my son is bright and images stick with him for far too long. Parents who don't set appropriate limits make me want to punch them in the throat.

TeacherAmee said...

Common Sense Media- It's my go to place for all movie reviews. Check it out! The recommended age for We Bought a Zoo is 12. CSM says- "There's also quite a bit of swearing for a PG-rated movie (including "s--t"), some social drinking and flirting, creepy images (in drawings by an unhappy teenage boy), and the implication that the Easter Bunny isn't real."

Anonymous said...

My husband and I went to see a 9pm showing of "The Hangover" and there was a woman with a 4-YEAR-OLD sitting near us. After the movie was over, she turned to her companion and said, "Wow- if I had known it was going to be like THAT, I would have kept her home." Seriously??? The movie is called, "The Hangover" - what did you think it was going to be like??? Also, how does a movie theater get away with selling a ticket to an R-rated movie to a 4-year-old who should be home in bed? Throat punches all around!!!

Anonymous said...

Way back when Titanic was in the theaters, some idiot parents brought their four kids (ages 10-4) to see it. Dumb a$$es.

Anonymous said...

I use the IMDb.com site. It has a 'parental guide' for all movies. This is the 'parental guide for 'We Bought a Zoo'.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1389137/parentalguide

I see all the things that you and your readers have mentioned.

Anonymous said...

Even the G movies aren't always as friendly as we hope. We went to see the new Chipmunk movie and there's so much of that "attitude/sass/slang" crap in it. and the fat kid jokes. So uncool. We Bought a Zoo was a beautiful movie, but definitely not for little kids. I think they'd be bored out of their minds. It SOUNDS like a kid movie, but I read the book so I knew it wouldn't be. Sorry about the obnoxious parents. I usually wind up with the jerks texting with their BRIGHT phones in the pitch dark theater AND the chatty kids who are way too young to be seeing what I'm seeing. I can't deal with 4 and 5 year olds in a theater watching the same sex/honeymoon scene as I am. I just can't deal. Shudder.

trace said...

My darling husband wanted to take our two-year-old daughter to see it too, for precisely the same reasons: 1) we both want to see it, and b) "why not? she loves the zoo!" I had to explain to him this is clearly not a children's movie; the animals are not talking, dancing, or going to TGI Fridays. It is one thing when our daughter is laughing, crying or talking to the screen screaming "AAALLVVIINNN," ("Chipwrecked") or "KACHOW" (Disney Pixar's "Cars") in a theater full of other little minions doing the same. It is completely another for us to force our daughter's extensive knowledge of animals and their sounds on other paying adults in a movie not intended for toddlers. My husband got it, we have not gone yet; we will get a babysitter.

Anonymous said...

We took our boys, 6 and 8, to see the new Chipmunks movie the other day, along with the 14 year old neighbor. We refused to take our kids to the theater until they were at least 5 because we didn't want them to ruin someone else's movie experience. So we've spent the last few years trying to teach our kids the polite, proper way to sit through a movie, and the 14 year old talked the entire time, talking over the the 6 year old's head to point out funny stuff to me. I was appalled at his behavior, yet so proud of my boys for following all the rules we have set for them.

Amanda said...

Oh Thank God there are other parents who think like me out there!!! My in-laws insist that taking children to the movies starting at an early age gets them 'used to' seeing movies in a theatre. Whatever that means. I'm sorry, I'm not paying $30 to see a stupid-ass kids movie and have to shush my kids the whole time because I'm mortified of them being loud and being 'those parents' who lets their kids take over the theatre. I refuse to do it anymore. My hubby will take the kids (2 and 3) to a movie by himself and I stay home with our 15 month old.
Parents today are ridiculous and stupid. But thanks to people like you, who make me laugh, I can get through the day of disciplining my kids, teaching them manners (oh yes, even a 15 month old can learn to say please), and helping them realize that they are not the center of the universe.
I'm a fairly new follower (your blog and twitter!) and I thank you for shedding light without apology on all the stupid people that wander around aimlessly in the universe wasting space. Have a nice day :)

Erin said...

I like commen sense media but my all time favorite website to check out a movie first is Kids In Mind. It will ruin a movie for you but will tell you EXACTLY why they gave it the rankings they did. PG just isn't what it used to be...

TC said...

Maybe your should be thankful your mother didn't explain what a dick is to your child. I recently found out not only does my 7yr old know the correct definition of what a 'penis' is but she also has the general idea of what 'sex' is, and she didn't learn this from watching t.v. at home or asking MOMMY or DADDY!! *I think it's just common courtesy to either NOT take a small child to the theater until you know for certain they have the ability to sit through the entire movie OR walk them out at the first outburst.*

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I have to say, out of The Muppets and Bought a Zoo, the Zoo movie is MUCH more child appropriate than the Muppets. When we went to see The Muppets it was mainly adults in there and I would have been pissed if a 18 month old was sitting behind me talking the whole time. Luckily, we have awesome movie theaters that throw people out for talking or using their phone (no joke, google "alamo drafthouse texting" and see what you find). I was a bit offended that you bash on the muppets though...compared to the drivel they put on tv for kids today, the Muppets are a million times better. :)

Charli said...

First off, some of the comments here are a bit nasty today. Wow. Never seen so many people become so insulting in the comment section before. Classy.

Second, there's no magical age a kid can go into a theater. Some can handle a G movie at age 2/3 and some can't until they're 5. All depends on the kid. If it's a G movie and it's a family coming in with a baby, during the day, so what? That's why it's a matinee show(oh where it's usually a couple bucks cheaper) and G movie. Who cares? I've never dealt with a baby crying during the movie. At least where I live most people have been bright enough to take a whiny kid out into the lobby. And if a kid talks a lot through those types of movies, again, THAT is the age group they're geared towards. They'll eventually learn not to talk a lot during the movie.

Third: Movie reviews. They're your best friend when you have kids. Now I have good ole common sense so I know what would be right for my 5 yr old and what's right for my 14 yr old. For instance I know that We Bought A Zoo was on the heavy side(as is War Horse) and while it LOOKS kid friendly, always double check on that, because given the topic of dead wife etc, you may find it might not be. So if you don't check via one of the numerous parent reviewer sites or at least imdb for the comments(where it will say not little kid friendly) then if you're upset about something you have only you to blame. Nothing pisses me off more then when people take their kids to see something they have little knowledge of and then complain about how sad it was or things that happened to freak out their kids. Pet peeve. Big pet peeve.

Next, so what if two parents come? Again my kids are a huge age difference so really it's just my 5 yr old we take to the "kid" movies. My husband and I both like to take her sometimes. And what are parents to do if they're the only ones ever available(say husband always works) and they have three kids of varying ages? Never take the kids to a G movie? Because a younger kid talking might upset someone? Really? If it's at night I get it, but to me anything matinee you just have to roll with it. Then again I have oodles of patience for that kind of stuff.

Seriously, I love your blog but feel that this topic kind of missed the mark.

And what in the world is your deal with The Muppets?? Honestly it was the best kid/not kid film I saw this year. My 5 yr old and I saw it twice. My husband and I have loved the Muppets since we were kids. The soundtrack to that film is a staple in our house(thank you Bret McKenzie from Flight of the Conchords). I know more adults in the 27-42 age range who have seen it/loved it then kids. I know grown men who got teary eyed by the ending. Seriously, stop ragging on The Muppets and see it.

Melissa B. said...

We saw The Chipmunks on Christmas and had "that" family in front of us. Only it was the kid yelling "Alllllllllviiiiiiiiin" every time the damn chipmunk came on, followed by the family giggling. Funny once? Yes. For 2 hours? Not so much.

Nicole said...

I always read the parental information on IMDb for the exact reason that people say a movie is appropriate, but they forgot about the sex and the cursing that my 7 year old didn't need to see!! And babies in the theatre makes me insane when they don't get taken out in a reasonable amount of time, ugh!

pennyinmd said...

When I went to cinema to see Saw 2 a couple walked in with their three year old and sat in front of me. True Story.

Sassafras-Sara said...

It could have been worse, the child behind you could have thrown up in your hair. Just saying.

Jenna @ Sharing My Jennarocity said...

We have taken my now one year old to several movies. We always go to the matinee, it's always a kid movie, we always sit in the back of the theater and until now, we've always made sure to keep her up from her nap so she can sleep through (getting harder and she's older!) At the first sign of noise from her, both my husband and I understand that she will go outside (hence, the reason for sitting in the back.) Adults pay good money to take their kids and they don't need it interupted by babies. That was always my pet peeve before I had kids and it hasn't changed now! And I just never understood taking babies to an adult movie. I am so concerned with my child, I can barely focus on an adult plot line, so to me, it's a waste of my OWN money!

Michelle said...

My go to website: http://www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews/we-bought-zoo

some people just have a different perspective on what's appropriate and what isn't. This website seems geared more towards over caution, but I've been very happy with it.

Amy said...

A local, higher end theater that is the kind that serves food during the movie had to put on all their info that children under a certain age would not be allowed in an R movie even with a parent. Pretty sad when the business has more sense than the parent. Good for them - that place is crazy expensive. They prob. didn't want to keep refunding $$ for all the people who complained.

Ericka said...

We have a theatre that serves a full menu and they do a "mommy & me" day once a month. Its a time to bring your preschooler (or baby) to a movie with the expectation that everyone there is in the same boat. The lights are brighter and the kids can have the freedom to be loud without bothering anyone. The movies are always G rated, animated movies.

JTHMommy said...

Your post made me laugh out loud - at work! That's for making me laugh on my first day back in the office!

Anonymous said...

Ok this has nothing to do with this post, but I'm finally getting around to it. People I want to Punch in the throat....Members of our Board Association that dont take care of their own homes or pick up after their dogs (we even have dog care stations throughout our neighborhood....) I hope I inspired you ...perhaps you have the same issue.

Anonymous said...

@Charli, you need to learn to be a better reader.

First of all, the so called nasty complaints are mostly about young toddlers making too much noise in PG-13 & above rated movies. From what I can tell, most of these complaints seem justified. A parent who brings a child who is this young to a movie not at all geared for little children should be respectful enough of fellow moviegoers to take their child out when they are disrupting the theater.

Second, there are several so called nasty comments about parents bringing elementary aged children to R rated movies. These parents definitely need to be punched in the throat. What are they trying to do to their children's innocent psyche? I was especially peeved when I read about the parents who had children asking to leave I Am Legend and they responded by telling them to be quiet. Sad!

Third, you are talking about taking your 5 yo & 14 yo to G rated movies. No one was complaining about this. It sounds like you use wisdom when picking age appropriate & content appropriate movies.

Fourth, I believe if you would reread what Jen wrote, she is aware that We Bought a Zoo was perhaps not the best choice for her kids. That's sort of what the blog was about, so you need not tell her that she has no one to blame but herself. He understands. The rant is about the parents behind her who should have been more courteous to those seated around them.

Finally, regarding the Muppets. It's personal preference. Who cares whether Jen likes them or not. Maybe you haven't been reading her blog for long.

Tess said...

Castor?

Haha!

Dr. Fun (AKA Sister) said...

I'd like to third that recommendation about kidsinmind.com - fabulous website so you'll have NO surprises! It's even a bit over the top - "man shows his bare chest" is frequently mentioned. They tell you how many words are in it ("scatological terms" means "shit" I found out) and what KIND of words (like "religious profanity"). But don't let it freak you out - a description from Ironman struck me as way more graphic than the actual scene because it all went by so fast.

krissyteach said...

My kids are little parrots after the movie, so I understand your horror at the zoo movie. I didn't appreciate several of the vulgar words, especially the end. My kids tried to review their favorite quotes" put at dinner. When the conversation went to the little girls line, I stopped it right away. In talking to both my girls (7 & 8), they both mentioned how sad they were during the fighting scenes. When we looked st the review from one source, out started situational language. I appreciate the sites recommended by other congeners, as they will be used in the future. I feel a little bit of the air was sucked out of the theater each time language was used by both kids and adults. My mom also brought us, and she felt horrible and apologized each time. Also didn't appreciate the Easter bunny comment. Thanks for writing what so many of us think.

Liz said...

I like pluggedin.com it shows all the cuss words as well as religious content and tells any positive or negative aspects.

Rhees said...

I don't know if someone has already posted this, but if you go to imdb there is a parent section that will tell you everything that is inappropriate in a movie for children. I have found this really useful now that I'm the step-parent of a 16 year old.

Ryan and Sarah - New Zealand said...

My husband and I went to see the last Twilight movie (he's such a good sport), and we could not believe the mother who brought her 3 month old along. Lots of crying, toy jangling, and breast-feeding. It's even harder to believe when you know that our local theater has "Babes in Arms" (New Zealand speak for Bring your Brats) showings a few times a week for some of the movies, to help out SAHmoms. Why couldn't she have gone to one of those instead of the Friday night, 8:30pm showing? Love your blog, thanks for making me laugh.

Not Supermom said...

You've explained precisely why I don't take my children to the movies.

Unknown said...

Your post reminds me of the time my best friend (who has cats - no children)and I took my daughter (now almost 17) to see Super Bad. I had no idea what it was. I thought it was going to be a typical teenager movie (In hindsight I should've done my homework). Well, needless to say, the writers of the film are VERY talented; they managed to squeeze in about six four-letter words within the first few lines. As I sat mouth agape, my daughter turns to me and says, "Nice choice in the movie Mom". We got up and left promptly. Then my best friend says (laughing her ass off), "This is why I have cats. I won't have to pay for their therapy - nice going by the way, Mommy Dearest - PLUS they shit in a box and die at 15."

Megan said...

Don't forget that they dropped an "a"-bomb at some point in the movie. It went over my 8 year-old's head but "dick" did not. I checked again on the way out to see if it was PG-13. WTH?

EricaM said...

Its amazing how tuned out these parents are. It drives me crazy. Your kids are bothering an entire theater! I understand being able to ignore the kids constant babble at home, but in public? Argh!

Carolyn said...

Occasionally when I've wanted to see something I'm interested in, Harry Potter etc, I will always pay more and go Gold Class because it's for adults only. Thank heavens. It's about $38 but I only see one movie a year so it's worth it.

Pamela Smith said...

When my hubs and I went to see The Hangover 2, I was horrified to see a !oy that looked about 10 years old sitting in front of us with his mother. It actually made the movie not as enjoyable to me because I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that the mom thought that was okay. When the scene with the chick with the "extra equipment" came on I was beside myself. The mom didn't even attempt to cover his ears or eyes. I don't know about you, but there are plenty of conversations I'm not quite ready to have with my 10 year old, that one being near the top of the list. I mean really! Imagine that car ride home..."Mom, why did that woman have a penis? And why was she putting it in that man?". Mom should be hung...

Anonymous said...

After reading all these comments, I'm glad I was talked into seeing The Muppets instead of the Zoo movie. Very campy and no bad language. Plus, it was nostalgic!

Moms with peeves said...

Why do people bring babies to movies? Why.

Anonymous said...

My husband and I took our kids (5 & 7)to see "We Bought a Zoo" on Christmas Day. BIG mistake. We aren't fuddy duddies but we try to avoid exposing kids to words that would get them in trouble at school. There were curse words all the way through the film (I counted at least 9, including A$$hole, dick, hell, etc) AND the Easter Bunny line. Definitely NOT a PG movie. It should've been PG-13 at least.

And small children (who can't yet be quiet through an entire movie) should NOT be taken into a theater, period. We didn't take our kids until they were 4. That worked well for us.

A punch in the throat for parents who take babies to movies, and another punch in the throat to the rating board that gave this movie a PG rating!

Brandon and Lindsay said...

I had this same kind of experience with "Marley & Me." Rated PG and TOTALLY not appropriate for my young boys. I should've walked out, don't know what I was thinking. Since then I've started looking at blogs like 'movie mom reviews' and such to decide if a particular movie is ok for my guys. I too don't want to explain to my 4-year-old any bad words he hasn't already managed to learn at preschool.
And even though I agree about the baby in the theatre, I have been at my breaking point with my kids (usually in the dead of winter when we don't get out) and taken my baby along with older ones to see a show. I would usually regret it and end up walking the halls through half the show, but I can relate to the parents who might just NEED to get out. Still, I hear you saying, a babysitter.... Yeah, you're right.

Mandy said...

We had a similar situation happen, although I'm fairly certain that "Girl with a Dragon Tattoo" is NOT a children's movie. The couple came in during the previews with a sleeping child, mind you, and finally took off with about half an hour left of the movie. Are you kidding me??? 2 adults, couldn't one stay home? I was appalled at the stupidity of some people!

SilenceSpeaks said...

I thought we were soul mates but now I know the truth... :( How can you not want to see the muppets? I am debating a 4th trip to the theater, my only hesitation is that I would then have spent more money watching Muppets in the theater than I did HP7.2, which we all know would be sacrilege.

Anonymous said...

Thanks to movies like these, my son knows what a Dick is (he is 6!) and can use the words he has learned in context correctly.

Also, we no longer visit the theaters because of people that bring babies to the movies. Opted for the most expensive cable package - The movies come out 3 months after they are in theaters now, so it works out for us.

Will not be watching this flick (not because of the DICK comment by said girl in film) but, because it really sounds awful!

SK said...

I specifically avoided taking my oldest to the theater until he was 5 for that reason. I was so scared I was going to pick a movie that although I didnt mean for it to, would suck and he would get bored and cause a scene. For example, the 2nd movie I took him to was Smurfs...30 mins into it he was ready to go home, if he were 2 at that point, he would have caused a scene...People need to think about other people before they make those decisions....

Unknown said...

I absolutely hate people who bring their babies to a movie theatre (unless it is of course a kids movie). One time, my husband and I went to see one of the Saw movies and someone had a freakin baby in there. The baby kept screaming and crying throughout the movie.. probably because he was terrified! People are freakin dumb. If you can't find a sitter, stay out of a movie theatre and don't ruin it for everyone else!!

Stephanie said...

LMAO!! Completely agree - We Bought A Zoo was NOT for kids. My poor MIL and her friend took my girls (8 & 4) and her friend's granddaughters (10 & 6) and she couldn't stop apologizing to me for not realizing it was not the best choice for a kid's movie. Of course, my 4-yr old remembered the "d*ck" comment, but I haven't heard anything about the Easter Bunny.

As for the IDIOTS who took their kids to see I Am Legend... Good God.... to this day I can't walk outside at night without half expecting some lupine-humanoid to come running up from the woods across from my house. How can you have so little respect for your own kids??!!

Thanks to everyone for the movie review sites. I (and my poor MIL!) will definitely check out future movie choices. Also, I agree with another post about the inappropriate "fat/chubby" comments in Alvin and the Chipmunks..... my kids and their friends even made a comment about how it wasn't nice how Ian kept making those comments. Really???? If 4 kids all younger than 9 can see that's wrong, what the hell is wrong with the writer's??!!

Anyway... love your blog :-)

Unknown said...

When my second child was born we took our oldest to see Horton Hears a Who in the middle of the day with our newborn. He slept through most of it, and when he got hungry I fed him a bottle, but we were fully prepared to leave if he got cranky. Funny enough he was better behaved than half the kids in there. Also my 13 month old says thank you so if he can do that surely older children can learn manners too. Its too bad thatv aprents think its okay to let their kids act however they want in public. We just took our older boys to see Arthur Christmas and it was great! However the teenage girl behind us who was on her phone and texting the whole time was irritating! Common sense and courtesy apparently are not important these days.

Jenn said...

I could have written this post...I took my 5 and 7 yr old to see "We bought a zoo" and I disgusted with the bad language. It is sad that this is what the world is coming to...

Marcia said...

Yes, I hate people who bring kids to theaters, when my hubby and I just shelled out money for a babysitter and the movie...since we get a date night about once a season.

Have to stand up for We Bought A Zoo...my neighbor IS the cute little girl in this movie, this is her first chance at a major role, and I think she did AWESOME! Way to go Maggie. Yes, the one instance of the [email protected] word was a little awkward. But she didn't write the movie. And her parents are great parents about what their kids are exposed to, especially at the movies. The mom is the one who taught me about checking movies out on IMDB. But it is PG not G people and the few things everyone is complaining about, is what makes it PG. I can't believe some of the "holier than thou" comments on here. The blog is titled People I want to Punch in the Throat, not my Blessed Right Wing Life.

I know you weren't attacking her personally, but she did such a great job and it was a great movie, that I don't want people to get the wrong idea. Go see this movie, it's a touching story. Maybe leave the kids at home and rent it later.

Nicole said...

Not to mention the conversation the Dad has with the son where he yells "Your sister still believes in the Easter Bunny" Completely unnecessary!!!! That movie made my blood boil and I have a 9 year old! But she still believes and I can't think of a shittier way to stop believing then through some Matt Damon movie...it wasn't even that feel good/warm and fuzzy of a movie...crap!

Anonymous said...

Wow... I'm lucky that I'm older. My daughter's first movie at the movie theatre was "The Lion King" and she sat in a booster seat. How influential was that movie? A few days later when I sent her to the bedroom at grandma's as a disciplinary measure, I had to laugh. She was behing the closed door singing, "Nooobooody knoooows the twooble, I've seeen, Nooobody knoooows my sawwhoa."

Kate said...

We, too, waited until our son was 5 to take him to a movie, and we'll do the same with our daughter.

rmbmajor said...

too funny, made me think of an old Mad TV skit about the very thing..here's the link..http://youtu.be/YBKUtb4XviA

Anonymous said...

I will say that my now 15 year old has always been a great movie goer, starting at the tender age of six months. I took him to see Disney's Hercules with a group of friends and their kids. It was an evening showing and I had him in his jammies, with a bottle all ready to go, with the thought that he would go to sleep. (And, yes, I was fully prepared to leave the theater if he was at all disruptive.) We walked in to the theater and he was fascinated by all the people and the movie screen. He spent the entire movie sitting on my lap, watching the screen, making not a peep! (His little brother, on the other hand, wasn't able to sit through a movie in the theater until he was three years old, and even then it was only animated movies.)

I also remember going to see Wedding Crashers and being appalled by the mom who came in with her toddler, and two boys aged about eight and ten. When the toddler started running up and down the aisle during the previews, the mom did have the decency to remove her from the theater...but she left the boys behind! It was an R rated movie, for Pete's sake! Gaaah!

pj said...

Should have called this one "other people's children" because that's who I want to punch in the throat whenever I'm stupid enpugh to pay to go see a movie.

Agree with you 100%... as always.

Michelle said...

I had the opportunity today to go ALONE to see Zoo. I had the privilege of sitting 2 rows in front of 3 old biddies who did not shut up the. entire. movie. So it's not just kids that should stay out of theatres.

Shannon said...

Yeah...I CANNOT believe that my kids never mentioned the Easter Bunny part...(they're 7 and 9 and still believe) The other movie that pissed me off was Grown Ups...it totally lets the cat out of the bag with the Tooth Fairy...the first time we watched it we fast forwarded that part..then the kids watched it without us in between..THEN the next time we were all watching it, I went to fast forward and my 9 year old said..Just forget it mom, we already saw the tooth fairy part! LOL I really think they just humor me at this point...

Reagan and Trevor's Mommy said...

I just read through all the comments. To me I think it is really about the parents and a) how well they choose a movie because R is most definitely not for kids and b) how they react to any disruptions their children may cause in any movie. My son is 7 months old and my daughter is 3. I took them to see Chipwrecked with my BFF and her 5 year old. My 7 month old slept through most of it and stayed quiet for most of the rest of the time. The few times he acted like he might start getting vocal I was ready to bolt to the lobby...even though we were in a kid movie during matinee time. Common courtesy is so lacking in people these days.

Erin S said...

Almost took my 3 year old..glad I didn't :-)

Anonymous said...

Personally I think it should be ILLEGAL to bring a child to an R rated movie, that is BS. What pisses me off more than anything is going to a kids movie and the writers/directors or whomever feel they have to throw in a line or scene that is just so discusting and innapropriate, I mean come on really. Like in Puss n Boots when cat starts licking himself clean and, below the edge of the frame, seems to lick his own genitals. The cat doesn't know that a man is watching until he cries out "Don't let me stop you". Said in a really creepy perverted voice. gross. I went to the midnight showing of Twilight3 with my 15 y/o and there were alot of girls there under the age of 10! It was a school night to top it off. Also my towns theater will warn people or kick them out if there is a complaint. THANK GOD.

Unknown said...

Even if you don't agree with their age ranges, you may want to check out commonsensemedia.org. It tells you exactly what is in every movie as far as language, violence, sex, etc. it even mentioned the Easter Bunny comment in "We Bought a Zoo".

Anonymous said...

Interesting comment that first one, bout The Adventures of Tintin an excessive drinking - if you read the books, you would KNOW this. Why don't ppl do their research?!!

Anonymous said...

Odd man out. I do love your blog, and enjoy the comedy, but I guess I am not the "coddle and protect from the world" sort of mom. I know for a fact my kids hear cuss words just at school, let alone out there in the big broad world. Big whoop. It's just a word, and my kids aren't stupid enough to blab it over and over (especially within adult hearing), and me making a big deal over it, or hiding it's existence is just going to make it more attractive in the long run. I honestly have more issue with things like Disney's tween shows being marketed to my little kids. Making them worry about "if that boy thinks I am cute in a bikini" and other such older kid issues when they are still in elementary school. The worst part of those shows is when the kids start to look up to these stars, the merchandise pours out, you aren't cool if you don't like Teenager#3 from Show X... then a year later we are in the checkout line and look!, there is the child idol being arrested all over half the magazines! Awesome. My children understand the difference between reality and fiction, the idea of "time and place" for what passes as appropriate speach and behavior... so I am just not feeling it this time. Tell her what a "dick" is, strip it of it's mystery, but explain to her only gross people use that word and if she is heard using it, people will think poorly of her. That's just my two cents, of course... and I can see by the comments already here it will be an unpopular two cents. So I guess if you want to disagree with me, let's at least keep it civil and in the realm of debate rather than flame-fest. Thanks!

Also, yeah, babies in the theatre? I think theatres should enforce some rules about disruptive children more, since obviously too many parents can't handle the responsibility on their own... and must have insider knowledge leading them to believe they are the only ones on the planet who matter.

Anonymous said...

My little one is eleven months old and has been to about 20 movies. Never had a problem (but I would take him out if there was a problem). That being said, sometimes I wish I could escort my husband out of the theater for playing with his cellphone. Sometimes age has nothing to do with being irritating.

Becca S. said...

True story: I went to see Black Swan in theaters. I rarely go to theaters and this was the first R rated movie I'd ever gotten to see in a theater. I was 18 (the age you have to be to get an R ticket in my state) so it was a really big deal! I went with my girlfriends to the 10:00 pm showing.

Lo and behold! In waltzes "that" woman with her 8 and 12 year old. At 10 pm. At an R-rated psychological thriller. They sat right in front of us.

I got to sit and watch a VERY graphic girl/girl sex scene with an eight-year-old asking what was going on. "Why is she doing that? Is she hurting her?" Not pleasant.
I'm all about being open with your children about sex, but taking your kid to a psychological thriller that involves recreational drugs, oral sex, and the mention of masturbation just seems a little much to me.

Julie Now said...

I only began taking my 5 yr old girlie to the movies the past year and a half. Because i practice what i preach, and if i know my kid can't sit through a feature film at HOME, she sure as shit ain't gonna do it OUT! And i have respect for other people and their right to enjoy a movie and snacks that they have to refinance the house in order to afford. We just saw the Chipmunks Chipwrecked movie and while everything was pleasant during the movie, i think my husband wanted to punch me when we purchased a junior popcorn and a small soda that totaled $8.50 and i looked at the cashier and i said, "REALLY? $4.00 for a soda? We are used to being overcharged for popcorn and candy, but, $4.00 for a soda? You probably have to work and hour to pay for two sodas!" Then my husband dragged me away as i babbled that consumers need to complain more and try and be heard.....

Unknown said...

Love this post!! I'm originally from a very small town with a two screen movie theater. The rows and seats are so small that you have about two inches between your knees and the seat in front of you, but people still try to be respectful and move as little as possible. We just moved to a big city and I took my kids to see Alvin and the Chipmunks and we walk into the theater and sit in our sits and I all can think is wow look how much room we have! Our seats recline a bit, arm rests move, this is awesome! About 20 minutes into the movie I feel someone bumps my seat. I think no big deal. Then it happens again and then again. I turn to look and I see a toddler run between four or five seats and hitting each one on her way by. I gave the mom a look. Well that didn't work. I made a comment to the mom. That didn't work either. Well being the bitch that I am as soon that girl came by again I threw myself back in my seat and tapped the girl with my seat. Not too hard just enough to get the moms attention. Well it worked cause she cursed at me and grabbed her stuff and move to a different row and I got to enjoy the rest of the movie in peace. By the way love your stuff its good to know that I'm not the only one who thinks these things!

Kim said...

My husband and I went to see The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo last weekend. The theater was almost filled to capacity, and the movie about to start when in walks a family with two children around my children's ages (6 and 8). I can't imagine the lack of judgement it must take to bring your children to a movie with such overt violence. And widely publicized violence at that. Do they let their kids juggle with knives at home too? We hope that all parents exercise common sense and proper judgement, but that's never going to occur for everyone. Therefore, theaters should take a tougher stand on who can enter R rated movies. I'm just glad I wasn't sitting right by them to hear their questions or sobbing during the explicit rape and torture scenes. Unbelievable.

Kristy said...

Forget kids talking loudly through movies. I went to an international film in a foreign language (Madarin) and some guy did cheesy nija noises through every fight sequence (LOUDLY) so much that we couldn't focus on the dialogue. When someone finally told him very loudly to "shut up" he turned the whole thing into racial disturbance when it was a dumb-ass disturbance. They actually had to call the police. Needless to say that was a BUNCH of money wasted because I still don't know what happened in the movie.

KCM said...

I have stgarted to only take the kids to the free summer movies, that way if our experience sucks it didn't cost me an arm and a leg. My oldest son's father has taken him to many rated R movies since he was about 10 - he is 14 now. Once he even dropped my son and his cousin off at the theater and bought the tickets b/c he knew the boys wouldn't be able to buy the tix to the rated R movie.

Kathleen P said...

What about when Matt Damon is arguing with his son and says about his daughter, that she still believes in the Easter bunny for gods sake. Or the tooth fairy. I forget which one, but when I saw the movie I was shocked by that line. I just don’t understand why there is a need to throw in a line like that? Skip it. You can say many other things that will not ruin magic for a believing child. It’s a movie that I can see parents bringing their kids to, as much as many will disagree, cmon, a PG movie titled “we bought a zoo,” sounds pretty kid friendly. Ehhh but I guess we as parents just have to make sure to research everything. Still don’t get it, why include that line????

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