I am a reader. The hubs is a movie watcher. I majored in English. He majored in Film. I've never seen him read more than a headline on the newspaper or a caption under a photo. I watch movies for pure entertainment. I don't notice tricky camera angles. I barely recognize great acting. He thinks I'm a Neanderthal when it comes to my list of "great movies" (Star Wars is always number 1). I think he's a rube and I secretly suspect he might not be able to read.
The only time I get persnickity about movies is when Hollywood takes a perfectly good book (with rabid followers like myself) and RUINS it with their casting choices.
Who read The DaVinci Code and imagined Tom Hanks!?? IMO Tom Hanks will always be Kip Wilson from "Bosom Buddies" and there is nothing he can do to change that. He plays the same role over and over again only this time he's at the Vatican. Now Kip's in space. Kip is lonely and can't sleep in Seattle. Now Kip is eating a box of chocolates. YAWN!
Is Robert Pattinson ANYONE'S idea of the perfect Edward Cullen? (Where are the muscles, Hollywood? He took off his shirt in that one scene and I about puked.) I don't know who they could have chosen, but just about ANYONE else would have been a better choice. Edward is supposed to be smokin' hot and have a body to die for and a face that's so beautiful you can barely look at it. I don't see any of that with Rob. The only thing saving Rob is he has a great head of hair that you want to touch and a British accent.
Harry Potter was done pretty well. J.K. must have been really involved and made sure the casting directors actually read her books. You can do that when you're as powerful as J.K., I guess. I never got used to Ginny though. I don't know if there is a dearth of redheaded actresses in Hollywood/England, but I think they could have dyed someone's hair to have a better Ginny. She was not as cool as I imagined.
Now Hollywood is working on two of my favorite franchises: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and The Hunger Games. So far I'm not UN-impressed with Tattoo's choices. I like Daniel Craig. I don't know enough about Rooney Mara yet, so the jury is still out on that one. The Swedish versions were cast really well and I think Hollywood could learn a thing or two from them.
The Hunger Games is already ruined. Katniss is clearly described as having olive skin. She should be played by a Latina or a Native American actress. Instead the blonde haired Jennifer Lawrence has been chosen. WTH? And don't get me started on the boys they chose for her love triangle. ICK. If I were Katniss and these are the two boys I get to choose from, I'd just stay in the Arena and take my chances with Tracker Jackers. The only way these movies can be saved is if they cast Robert Downey, Jr. right now as Haymitch. He's the only one. They still have a chance to save this franchise.
Who am I kidding, though? I own all the HP movies. I brave the teeny-bopper crowds and see all the Twilight movies in the theatre (and yell like the old lady I am at the loud teeny-boppers to pipe down so I can hear Bella and Edward profess their love to one another). I'm pretty excited about The Hunger Games coming to the big screen and no matter who they cast, I'll be there - bitching the entire time - but I'll be there.
I'm just asking that Hollywood stop looking at the big name actors and actresses and take a moment to read the damn books. It will make your job easier and I would argue you'll make more money. Look how big Twilight is. Can you imagine how much bigger it could have been if you hadn't jacked it up with casting?! If you'd picked the right Edward, I would have bought a poster (to hang in my closet where no one could see it of course) and I'm not the only Twi-Mom (or whatever you want to call me) who would do it.
Fastest Rising Baby Names
OK, so by now you know how much I hate weird names. Yesterday, I received the newest edition of American Baby magazine (along with a free sample of Enfamil - WTH? I'm waaaayyyy past this stage and I'm not sure how I got on this list again!). Anyhoo, I noticed on the cover of the mag there was an article entitled "Pick a Name You'll Love Forever!" and since baby names has been a hot topic for me lately, I HAD to read the article.
This is what I found out: a lot of people are mashing up names when they can't decide who should "win" the baby naming war. OK, so one parent likes Lilliana and another likes Ella so they go with Elliana. It reminds me of "The Electric Company" (Sh.....ip....ship).
At the bottom of the article they had a list of fastest rising baby names and the list made me laugh. Here are some of my favorites:
Adelyn and for those of you who don't like that spelling you could be different and try Adalyn which is also on the list. (I actually like Adelyn and Emily and so on, it's just all the crazy spellings people come with for the same name that cracks me. Says Jenni with a cutesy "i".)
Same goes for Maliyah and Malia (Unless maybe the first is pronounced MahLEEah? So glad I'm not a teacher trying to call roll.)
Kinley - and people think my kid has a dog name? If I had a dog this would be a name on my list.
Caylee - the Britney of the aughts.
Londyn - easy enough if you don't like so many "Os" in your name.
Cullen - TwiHards perhaps?? No one wants an Edward so this is a good compromise and I bet most dads don't realize it's a Twilight reference.
Jax - and his sister Jilz?
King - Trump might have another kid just so he could use this one.
Jasper - More TwiHards?? (Although, I will admit I like the name Jasper - I'm into old man names.)
Kason - Hmm....I just can't think of why I don't like this name, but it just looks and sounds wrong to me. It looks like you were trying to name your kid Jason and someone missed the J key when they were typing up the birth certificate. Maybe it was a mashup compromise. Mom likes Jason dad likes Kevin? Mom likes Kaeden and dad likes Mason?
While the baby names are fun, the punch today goes to Enfamil and American Baby. Get me off your lists and stop sending me free stuff I neither want nor need. The baby factory is closed and will not be reopening so stop wasting your money and resources on me!
BTW, anyone need INFANT Enfamil? I've got a free sample you can have.
If you liked this, FIND ME on Facebook and Twitter.
This is what I found out: a lot of people are mashing up names when they can't decide who should "win" the baby naming war. OK, so one parent likes Lilliana and another likes Ella so they go with Elliana. It reminds me of "The Electric Company" (Sh.....ip....ship).
At the bottom of the article they had a list of fastest rising baby names and the list made me laugh. Here are some of my favorites:
Adelyn and for those of you who don't like that spelling you could be different and try Adalyn which is also on the list. (I actually like Adelyn and Emily and so on, it's just all the crazy spellings people come with for the same name that cracks me. Says Jenni with a cutesy "i".)
Same goes for Maliyah and Malia (Unless maybe the first is pronounced MahLEEah? So glad I'm not a teacher trying to call roll.)
Kinley - and people think my kid has a dog name? If I had a dog this would be a name on my list.
Caylee - the Britney of the aughts.
Londyn - easy enough if you don't like so many "Os" in your name.
Cullen - TwiHards perhaps?? No one wants an Edward so this is a good compromise and I bet most dads don't realize it's a Twilight reference.
Jax - and his sister Jilz?
King - Trump might have another kid just so he could use this one.
Jasper - More TwiHards?? (Although, I will admit I like the name Jasper - I'm into old man names.)
Kason - Hmm....I just can't think of why I don't like this name, but it just looks and sounds wrong to me. It looks like you were trying to name your kid Jason and someone missed the J key when they were typing up the birth certificate. Maybe it was a mashup compromise. Mom likes Jason dad likes Kevin? Mom likes Kaeden and dad likes Mason?
While the baby names are fun, the punch today goes to Enfamil and American Baby. Get me off your lists and stop sending me free stuff I neither want nor need. The baby factory is closed and will not be reopening so stop wasting your money and resources on me!
BTW, anyone need INFANT Enfamil? I've got a free sample you can have.
If you liked this, FIND ME on Facebook and Twitter.
Bristol Palin
I saw this article this morning and it made me sooooo angry I just about screamed. I didn't have time to write so I told Ms. Palin, "I will be back later today to punch you in your mother effing role model throat!"
Can SOMEONE please explain to me how this dolt was paid $262,500 to be a role model to UNWED, PREGNANT TEENAGERS?????? WTF?? Right here, folks, is why there are many days I am embarrassed to be an American. Who put this slut on a pedestal and said, "She's a perfect role model for abstinence."???
I can only imagine a bunch of old white guys (it's always old white guys making these kinds of decisions) sitting around a conference table at the Candie's Foundation and saying, "We need a strong role model that we can put out there to help encourage teenage girls to abstain from sex. Who should it be?"
"Hmm....Elizabeth Smart?"
"God, no! She's Mormon. We need a Christian." (Because, of course, these guys always think Mormons aren't Christians, but that's ANOTHER rant for ANOTHER day.)
"True. Hmm....ooh, I know! Bristol Palin!"
"Bristol Palin? Isn't she an unwed teenage mother? Aren't we trying to stop that?"
"Exactly! Who better? It'll be like 'Scared Straight'. She'll tell them how tough it is to be an unwed teenage mother. Show them how hard her life is. She barely got through high school and couldn't go to college. She'll tell the girls what real life is really like with a baby. That will stop them in their tracks!"
"Genius!"
Are you fricking kidding me?! Who in their right minds thinks Bristol Palin is the typical unwed teenage mother? Let me see, most unwed teenage mothers struggle to find a job, pay the bills, take care of the baby and finish school. I don't see Bristol having any of those problems. Bristol made $262,500 because she got knocked up! Plus, she lives at home, I'm sure she has "help" for the baby and she could go to college if she wanted, but she's too busy whoring herself out to DWTS and Candie's Foundation and making a career for herself as a "motivational speaker" (barf - she's motivating me to move to Canada). Bristol's success is making me regret not having a baby when I was 17. I'd love to make $262,500!
Remember the first time we met Sarah Palin's spawn and it was revealed Bristol was pregnant? I was cracking up. I said, "Oh yeah! How are McCain and Palin going to spin this one? Palin is such a bitch. Always talking about how abstinence is the best policy. Yeah, look where it got you - GRANDMA! People are going to want her blood for this." But it never happened! The sheep of America looked at Palin's pretty face and tight ass and said, "Well, at least Bristol didn't abort it."
WTH, America!? It's like I don't even know you anymore. Are you that effed up to think that Bristol should be lauded as a role model because she and her baby daddy (don't EVEN get me started on that dumbass, Levi Johnson) were too stupid to figure out how to work a condom?? This is the kind of person you want to hold up and say, "This is a shining example of what America has to offer the world."??
Ugh. The whole Palin family is so full of shite and such a bunch of hypocrites. I am SOOOO sick and tired of seeing their mugs every time I turn on the TV blathering on about something they barely understand and rewriting the dictionary. I'd like to line up every Palin over the age of 12 in their front yard, ride by on a snowmobile and punch them all in the throat and then, since I'm so close, I'll go visit Russia.
Can SOMEONE please explain to me how this dolt was paid $262,500 to be a role model to UNWED, PREGNANT TEENAGERS?????? WTF?? Right here, folks, is why there are many days I am embarrassed to be an American. Who put this slut on a pedestal and said, "She's a perfect role model for abstinence."???
I can only imagine a bunch of old white guys (it's always old white guys making these kinds of decisions) sitting around a conference table at the Candie's Foundation and saying, "We need a strong role model that we can put out there to help encourage teenage girls to abstain from sex. Who should it be?"
"Hmm....Elizabeth Smart?"
"God, no! She's Mormon. We need a Christian." (Because, of course, these guys always think Mormons aren't Christians, but that's ANOTHER rant for ANOTHER day.)
"True. Hmm....ooh, I know! Bristol Palin!"
"Bristol Palin? Isn't she an unwed teenage mother? Aren't we trying to stop that?"
"Exactly! Who better? It'll be like 'Scared Straight'. She'll tell them how tough it is to be an unwed teenage mother. Show them how hard her life is. She barely got through high school and couldn't go to college. She'll tell the girls what real life is really like with a baby. That will stop them in their tracks!"
"Genius!"
Are you fricking kidding me?! Who in their right minds thinks Bristol Palin is the typical unwed teenage mother? Let me see, most unwed teenage mothers struggle to find a job, pay the bills, take care of the baby and finish school. I don't see Bristol having any of those problems. Bristol made $262,500 because she got knocked up! Plus, she lives at home, I'm sure she has "help" for the baby and she could go to college if she wanted, but she's too busy whoring herself out to DWTS and Candie's Foundation and making a career for herself as a "motivational speaker" (barf - she's motivating me to move to Canada). Bristol's success is making me regret not having a baby when I was 17. I'd love to make $262,500!
Remember the first time we met Sarah Palin's spawn and it was revealed Bristol was pregnant? I was cracking up. I said, "Oh yeah! How are McCain and Palin going to spin this one? Palin is such a bitch. Always talking about how abstinence is the best policy. Yeah, look where it got you - GRANDMA! People are going to want her blood for this." But it never happened! The sheep of America looked at Palin's pretty face and tight ass and said, "Well, at least Bristol didn't abort it."
WTH, America!? It's like I don't even know you anymore. Are you that effed up to think that Bristol should be lauded as a role model because she and her baby daddy (don't EVEN get me started on that dumbass, Levi Johnson) were too stupid to figure out how to work a condom?? This is the kind of person you want to hold up and say, "This is a shining example of what America has to offer the world."??
Ugh. The whole Palin family is so full of shite and such a bunch of hypocrites. I am SOOOO sick and tired of seeing their mugs every time I turn on the TV blathering on about something they barely understand and rewriting the dictionary. I'd like to line up every Palin over the age of 12 in their front yard, ride by on a snowmobile and punch them all in the throat and then, since I'm so close, I'll go visit Russia.
Kate Gosselin
Readers have been BEGGING for Kate to get punched and I'm finally ready to do it. Don't get me wrong, she's always bugged the crap out of me, but lately I felt like she's been fairly low-key and really hadn't done anything too offensive. Until today.
Today I read that Kate is PINING for Jon.
Are you freaking kidding me?? Kate, c'mon! Who are you kidding? You can say all you want about missing your best friend/father of your children/blah blah blah. I'm not buying it.
That guy was a complete waste of space since the first episode of your show. You have never respected him or taken him seriously. (I know, I know, how could you?) He totally deserved your verbal ass-whippings. Seriously, the guy pretended he didn't know how to even feed his kids half the time (and now that I think about it, I don't recall him ever changing a diaper).
I don't believe you're pining for him, Kate. Not for a second. Have you forgotten how he couldn't hold down a job? Have you forgotten how instead of acting like a dad he always acted like the doofus (and baked) older brother? He was so pathetic back then, Kate! And really, who knew what kind of mess he'd finally turn into? (Who wears that many Ed Hardy t-shirts???) Please Kate, don't you remember how nauseating he was running around town with the 25 year old daughter of your free plastic surgeon?? (It's little details like that that make me such a huge fan of reality TV - you can't make that crap up!) Do you remember when he stole $230,000 out of your joint bank account? Have you forgotten all of this??
Do you know what I think, Kate? I think YOU'RE pathetic. I believe you haven't forgotten ONE THING Jon did to you, but you're ready to put it behind you for the "sake of the kids." B.S.!!! You bombed on DWTS. Your new show is tanking. Half of America hates you and the other half could care less about anything you do. No one wants to go back to nursing - or whatever your job was before you were a reality star. So you're scrambling and you're ready to sell out. You need to recreate the magic that was Jon & Kate + 8. You have to get Jon back in the mix. The show is boring without you verbally abusing him on a daily basis.
And that's my problem with you, Kate: Jon at least owns his doucheyness. He went out and had an affair with a young thang and made no bones about being a dick. But, you always play the martyr. You're the one staying home making organic, free range, made from scratch, dairy free, gluten free meals for your brood. You claim to only have the kids' best interest at heart. B.S.! You don't do it for the kids (if you did, you'd have your kids off the air by now and in serious counseling).
Just own it, Kate. Say it out loud: "I do it for the fame and fortune!" You always have. Look at you. You're so motivated by money that even after Jon humiliated you, stole from you, cheated on you and neglected your kids, you're still willing to take that POS back into your life on the off chance the ratings might actually go up and the money will flow again.
That is so effed up, Kate and THAT is the reason you need a punch in the throat. (PS - hate the new hairdo, I really think it's time to fire your stylist.)
Today I read that Kate is PINING for Jon.
Are you freaking kidding me?? Kate, c'mon! Who are you kidding? You can say all you want about missing your best friend/father of your children/blah blah blah. I'm not buying it.
That guy was a complete waste of space since the first episode of your show. You have never respected him or taken him seriously. (I know, I know, how could you?) He totally deserved your verbal ass-whippings. Seriously, the guy pretended he didn't know how to even feed his kids half the time (and now that I think about it, I don't recall him ever changing a diaper).
I don't believe you're pining for him, Kate. Not for a second. Have you forgotten how he couldn't hold down a job? Have you forgotten how instead of acting like a dad he always acted like the doofus (and baked) older brother? He was so pathetic back then, Kate! And really, who knew what kind of mess he'd finally turn into? (Who wears that many Ed Hardy t-shirts???) Please Kate, don't you remember how nauseating he was running around town with the 25 year old daughter of your free plastic surgeon?? (It's little details like that that make me such a huge fan of reality TV - you can't make that crap up!) Do you remember when he stole $230,000 out of your joint bank account? Have you forgotten all of this??
Do you know what I think, Kate? I think YOU'RE pathetic. I believe you haven't forgotten ONE THING Jon did to you, but you're ready to put it behind you for the "sake of the kids." B.S.!!! You bombed on DWTS. Your new show is tanking. Half of America hates you and the other half could care less about anything you do. No one wants to go back to nursing - or whatever your job was before you were a reality star. So you're scrambling and you're ready to sell out. You need to recreate the magic that was Jon & Kate + 8. You have to get Jon back in the mix. The show is boring without you verbally abusing him on a daily basis.
And that's my problem with you, Kate: Jon at least owns his doucheyness. He went out and had an affair with a young thang and made no bones about being a dick. But, you always play the martyr. You're the one staying home making organic, free range, made from scratch, dairy free, gluten free meals for your brood. You claim to only have the kids' best interest at heart. B.S.! You don't do it for the kids (if you did, you'd have your kids off the air by now and in serious counseling).
Just own it, Kate. Say it out loud: "I do it for the fame and fortune!" You always have. Look at you. You're so motivated by money that even after Jon humiliated you, stole from you, cheated on you and neglected your kids, you're still willing to take that POS back into your life on the off chance the ratings might actually go up and the money will flow again.
That is so effed up, Kate and THAT is the reason you need a punch in the throat. (PS - hate the new hairdo, I really think it's time to fire your stylist.)
Ultimate Blog Party 2011
So, this is not my typical post, because I don't actually want to punch Ultimate Blog Party 2011 in the throat. Rather, the nice ladies over at 5 Minutes for Mom are sponsoring this event so we can all find some cool, new (to us) blogs to read. Go check out all the links they have.
If you're new to People I Want to Punch in the Throat - welcome! Don't worry, I won't hurt you.
A bit about me and my blog:
Literally, less than a month ago, the Hubs and I were watching the Today show and I couldn't move fast enough to turn it off before Hoda & Kathie Lee appeared. I said, "Ugh, I just want to punch those two in the throat!" The Hubs said, "You know, you should start a blog called People I Want to Punch in the Throat. You really can't stand a lot of people and you need to get it off your chest."
He was totally egging me on. He threw down the gauntlet and the hell I was going to ignore that! So I wrote about Hoda & Kathie Lee. I put it on my Facebook and I realized that people liked what I had to say. It became addictive and cathartic. I just write what's on my mind. Some of it is political (I'm a lefty, so if that's a problem you should probably go now), some of it is about celebrities (I won't pick on Charlie Sheen though, because I believe he's ill and he should be in treatment) but a lot of it is about just every day crap that just bugs the hell out of me. This blog is cheaper than drugs and /or counseling and I believe it will single-handedly keep me off a roof with an AK-47.
When I'm not writing this blog, I'm a full time wife to the Hubs, a full time mom to two rug rats and a full time Realtor.
So, welcome - take a look around and see if you like what I have to say!
If you're new to People I Want to Punch in the Throat - welcome! Don't worry, I won't hurt you.
A bit about me and my blog:
Literally, less than a month ago, the Hubs and I were watching the Today show and I couldn't move fast enough to turn it off before Hoda & Kathie Lee appeared. I said, "Ugh, I just want to punch those two in the throat!" The Hubs said, "You know, you should start a blog called People I Want to Punch in the Throat. You really can't stand a lot of people and you need to get it off your chest."
He was totally egging me on. He threw down the gauntlet and the hell I was going to ignore that! So I wrote about Hoda & Kathie Lee. I put it on my Facebook and I realized that people liked what I had to say. It became addictive and cathartic. I just write what's on my mind. Some of it is political (I'm a lefty, so if that's a problem you should probably go now), some of it is about celebrities (I won't pick on Charlie Sheen though, because I believe he's ill and he should be in treatment) but a lot of it is about just every day crap that just bugs the hell out of me. This blog is cheaper than drugs and /or counseling and I believe it will single-handedly keep me off a roof with an AK-47.
When I'm not writing this blog, I'm a full time wife to the Hubs, a full time mom to two rug rats and a full time Realtor.
So, welcome - take a look around and see if you like what I have to say!
Rep. Sean Duffy and his wife Rachel Campos-Duffy
This will give you a clue as to just how old I am! Who watched The Real World & Road Rules back in the 90s? Do you remember The Lumberjack guy? Well, that's Sean Duffy. All grown up now and a representative from Wisconsin. He married another Real World alum Rachel Campos. Do you remember her? She was the idiot who had the crush on Puck - the guy who blows his nose by snorting on the sidewalk. She's got excellent taste in men.
Sean was always an ultra-conservative dumb ass who really didn't have a lot of intelligent things to say, but he got a lot of airtime because of his All-American good lucks and the weird fact that he was some sort of lumberjack champion and he was always showing off his mad log-rolling skillz.
Rachel and Sean met on Road Rules and the rest is history.
A few years (& six freaking kids) later, Sean takes his conservative agenda to Washington while Rachel stays home and manages her website/blog where from what I can tell she hawks her book - Stay Home, Stay Happy - and tries to pimp herself out as a "television personality" - whatever the hell that is!
So Sean decides to hold a town hall type meeting where he starts bitching that he can barely make ends meet on $178,000 a year. He boohoos about having to drive a used minivan and paying too much for healthcare. Of course you have to drive a minivan and pay too much for healthcare - you have 6 frigging kids! If it were just you and Rachel, you could drive a used Sentra and save money that way. Hey Sean, I got another idea to make ends meet - why don't you invest in contraception?! Six kids would drain anybody. Or you could tell Rachel to get off her ass and get a job that actually pays. Last time I checked you could get her book on Amazon for two bucks - that's not gonna do it, friend.
This is just another example of politicians who have no idea how the rest of the world lives. I am soooooo sick of listening to these a-holes complain about how tough it is for them. I think Sean should consider himself lucky to have the job he has, because I cannot imagine a corporation actually hiring him and paying him $178,000 a year. Plus, I can't imagine log rolling or Rachel's crappy book would bring in $178,000 a year. I'm also amazed how, in this economic climate, a politician can get up in front of his/her constituents and tell them they have more problems than the audience has right now.
This ain't The Real World, Sean, people actually have real problems that aren't created just for television drama. If Wisconsin votes for you in for a second term, I'll punch the whole state in the throat.
Sean was always an ultra-conservative dumb ass who really didn't have a lot of intelligent things to say, but he got a lot of airtime because of his All-American good lucks and the weird fact that he was some sort of lumberjack champion and he was always showing off his mad log-rolling skillz.
Rachel and Sean met on Road Rules and the rest is history.
A few years (& six freaking kids) later, Sean takes his conservative agenda to Washington while Rachel stays home and manages her website/blog where from what I can tell she hawks her book - Stay Home, Stay Happy - and tries to pimp herself out as a "television personality" - whatever the hell that is!
So Sean decides to hold a town hall type meeting where he starts bitching that he can barely make ends meet on $178,000 a year. He boohoos about having to drive a used minivan and paying too much for healthcare. Of course you have to drive a minivan and pay too much for healthcare - you have 6 frigging kids! If it were just you and Rachel, you could drive a used Sentra and save money that way. Hey Sean, I got another idea to make ends meet - why don't you invest in contraception?! Six kids would drain anybody. Or you could tell Rachel to get off her ass and get a job that actually pays. Last time I checked you could get her book on Amazon for two bucks - that's not gonna do it, friend.
This is just another example of politicians who have no idea how the rest of the world lives. I am soooooo sick of listening to these a-holes complain about how tough it is for them. I think Sean should consider himself lucky to have the job he has, because I cannot imagine a corporation actually hiring him and paying him $178,000 a year. Plus, I can't imagine log rolling or Rachel's crappy book would bring in $178,000 a year. I'm also amazed how, in this economic climate, a politician can get up in front of his/her constituents and tell them they have more problems than the audience has right now.
This ain't The Real World, Sean, people actually have real problems that aren't created just for television drama. If Wisconsin votes for you in for a second term, I'll punch the whole state in the throat.
The Hits Keep Coming....More Mini Punches
1. People who don't hold the door open for you. It used to be common courtesy that you held the door for the person behind you - ESPECIALLY if that person has her hands full! Now, we're in such a big hurry these days we just drop the door. My favorite is when the person looks behind them, SEES you and still drops the door in your face. Thanks, jackhole!
2. Indecisive people. I'm amazed how many people cannot make a decision. And I'm not talking "Should I pull the plug on my mom?" kinds of decisions. I'm talking about "Where should we go for dinner?" or "Paper or plastic?" kinds of decisions. The Hubs and I are such "deciders" (thank you, W, for inventing the best word ever) that people might consider us downright bossy - but I've decided that I'm OK with that.
3. Home sellers who listen to my advice, take notes, do half of my suggestions and then bitch at me when their house doesn't sell. Do you bitch at your doctor when you get diabetes after he told you to lose weight and you didn't? I can only give you the tools, it's up to you what you do with them. (For those of you who are my clients and are wondering; I'm not talking about YOU. You'd know it if I were, because we would have already had this conversation in person.)
4. Kids who bully my kid. About once a week my kid comes home from school and says, "So and so was mean to me today and told the other kids not to play with me - and they did." or "So and so says my shoes are stupid and not cool at all." Nothing pisses me off more than to hear this, especially because they're BOYS. I expect petty crap from a bunch of girls, not 6 year old boys. This is such Queen Bees and Wannabees crap. What boy knows how to be a Queen Bee??
5. People who aren't ready at a fast food restaurant when it's their turn. Maybe this goes with number 2, but in my mind this is a completely separate entry. My kids are hungry, we're waiting patiently, WE know what we want and then we end up behind the guy who's saying "Hmm....Filet-o-Fish or Big Mac?" or my favorite "What do you have here?" What do you have here? It's fucking McDonald's EVERYONE (including my 4 year old) knows they have here!
6. I've said it before, but I'll say it again, because it happened again yesterday - keep your big damn SUV in your spot! The lines are there for a reason. If you can't fit your boat into the spot, find another spot!
7. People who can't count at the 20 Items or Less checkout. Fifteen bottles of Coke, 25 light bulbs, 3 packages of diapers, 10 bras, a pack of smokes and a bag of chips doesn't count as 6 items. Like items do not count as one in my book.
8. Those same people who can't count usually are the ones who pay by check too. Seriously? A checkbook? The only person I know who still uses a checkbook is my mother and when she pulls it out, I back away slowly and pretend I don't know her.
9. People who take their middle school aged sons to a water park and let them loose like a pack of howler monkeys to destroy the fun my children are having. WTF people? My elementary and preschool aged kids are minding their own business going down the lazy river in an inner tube and these twits come along and flip them out of their tubes. I spent most of my afternoon policing this group of little shitheads. I couldn't figure out who they belonged to, but I sure tried, because I was ready to give their zoo keepers a piece of my mind.
10. Me. For putting on a swimsuit. In December. I apologize for any lasting ill effects this nightmarish and pasty vision had on anyone at the pool today.
2. Indecisive people. I'm amazed how many people cannot make a decision. And I'm not talking "Should I pull the plug on my mom?" kinds of decisions. I'm talking about "Where should we go for dinner?" or "Paper or plastic?" kinds of decisions. The Hubs and I are such "deciders" (thank you, W, for inventing the best word ever) that people might consider us downright bossy - but I've decided that I'm OK with that.
3. Home sellers who listen to my advice, take notes, do half of my suggestions and then bitch at me when their house doesn't sell. Do you bitch at your doctor when you get diabetes after he told you to lose weight and you didn't? I can only give you the tools, it's up to you what you do with them. (For those of you who are my clients and are wondering; I'm not talking about YOU. You'd know it if I were, because we would have already had this conversation in person.)
4. Kids who bully my kid. About once a week my kid comes home from school and says, "So and so was mean to me today and told the other kids not to play with me - and they did." or "So and so says my shoes are stupid and not cool at all." Nothing pisses me off more than to hear this, especially because they're BOYS. I expect petty crap from a bunch of girls, not 6 year old boys. This is such Queen Bees and Wannabees crap. What boy knows how to be a Queen Bee??
5. People who aren't ready at a fast food restaurant when it's their turn. Maybe this goes with number 2, but in my mind this is a completely separate entry. My kids are hungry, we're waiting patiently, WE know what we want and then we end up behind the guy who's saying "Hmm....Filet-o-Fish or Big Mac?" or my favorite "What do you have here?" What do you have here? It's fucking McDonald's EVERYONE (including my 4 year old) knows they have here!
6. I've said it before, but I'll say it again, because it happened again yesterday - keep your big damn SUV in your spot! The lines are there for a reason. If you can't fit your boat into the spot, find another spot!
7. People who can't count at the 20 Items or Less checkout. Fifteen bottles of Coke, 25 light bulbs, 3 packages of diapers, 10 bras, a pack of smokes and a bag of chips doesn't count as 6 items. Like items do not count as one in my book.
8. Those same people who can't count usually are the ones who pay by check too. Seriously? A checkbook? The only person I know who still uses a checkbook is my mother and when she pulls it out, I back away slowly and pretend I don't know her.
9. People who take their middle school aged sons to a water park and let them loose like a pack of howler monkeys to destroy the fun my children are having. WTF people? My elementary and preschool aged kids are minding their own business going down the lazy river in an inner tube and these twits come along and flip them out of their tubes. I spent most of my afternoon policing this group of little shitheads. I couldn't figure out who they belonged to, but I sure tried, because I was ready to give their zoo keepers a piece of my mind.
10. Me. For putting on a swimsuit. In December. I apologize for any lasting ill effects this nightmarish and pasty vision had on anyone at the pool today.
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What I Wore This Week - April 6-10
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