Happy Father's Day!

Today is Father's Day and I should probably write something sappy like the Hubs did earlier this week.

Eh, I don't know that's so not my style, but never say never, I guess.

The kids and I stopped at the local small town Wal-Mart on our way home from camp to buy some Father's Day cards.  I was looking at Father's Day cards at the store and I realized holy crap cards have become expensive.  When did that happen?  My kids kept grabbing 5 and 6 dollar cards!

Especially for my dad.  I don't think he saves any card we give him, so the hell I'm going to spend 5 bucks on a card that he's just going to toss.  Instead, I'll send him an Amazon gift card (note to self: order Amazon gc when this post is finished) and he can buy whatever new spy novel or 1,000 page historical fiction book he would like.  Done and done.

What to Get Your "Lovah" for Father's Day

Father's Day is fast upon us and if you're anything like me, you're thinking ... "Psht, I've got another week or so to find the Hubs something. Maybe a nice tie or some golf balls."

Meanwhile, the Hubs hasn't worn a tie in 15 years nor does he play golf. But it's the thought that counts, right?? I mean Father's Day isn't a big deal like Mother's Day. I don't need to have a whole day set aside for him where the kids and I make him breakfast in bed, complete with adorable home-made cards from the kids with coupons for "ONE FREE HUG," followed by doing whatever it is that he wants to do all day. Do I???

Oh shit, I think I do.

But if I let the Hubs decide what we do all day, he's going to choose something boring like the art museum. Nooo!!! I can't look at another weird modern art installation and wonder "Is that art or did someone accidentally spill something on that canvas?" I have got to get a plan in place before he forces us to pretend to like art all day.

So, I got to thinking. What would I want if Father's Day was Mother's Day? Maybe I could use my wants and desires to figure out the Hubs' wants and desires.

Top 7 Complaints of a Stay at Home Dad

Father's Day is coming and the Hubs wanted to guest post. It's been a while since he last guest posted because you never know what he's going to say. He likes to tell the world my lady garden needs tending or that the only way he can get our kids to behave is through bribes. I decided to throw caution to the wind and let him do it again, but only because I love him so damn much. Especially when he agrees to babysit our kids.

Fathers Who Won't Change Diapers

So, I was reading an article the other day about Mike Tyson and what a "great dad" he is.  Apparently Mike has something like 8 kids.  He's on his second or third wife and she was gushing to the media about what a great dad he is.  He does everything, everything!  EXCEPT change diapers.

Explain to me how that is being a "great dad."  A great dad is someone who shares in ALL the responsibilities - even the smelliest and nastiest ones.  Can't you just imagine Mike in his little, weird voice:  "Ooooh, stinky poo, I can't go near that!  Yuck.  I think I might throw up!"  This is a man who bit another man's ear off.  Yeah, 'cause that wasn't disgusting!  I will take a blow out that requires a full bath for me AND the kid before I'd ever put a sweaty, bloody ear in my mouth!

I began to wonder who else besides Mike doesn't change diapers.  I wasn't too surprised to find this douche bragging that he doesn't change diapers.  Never has, never will.  Of course, you all know how I feel about him.  Little Barron (I'm surprised Donald didn't name the kid Emperor) probably has a designated woman just for changing him.  I bet he even has a solid gold PeePee TeePee, engraved with his initials no less.

Unfortunately, after some digging, I found that even dads I like Gavin Rossdale, for instance, won't change diapers either!  He's even quoted as saying, "We've got good people" to do that sort of job.  Ick.  I'm so over you, Gavin.  You dick.

I also found out that famous men aren't the only ones who won't change a diaper.  According to a survey done by Pamper's a full 10% of men won't touch a diaper.  Are you kidding me?  What if you're the only one home with the baby?  (Yeah, right, if you won't change a diaper, you won't let the wife leave you home alone with the kids.)  You're just going to let her wallow in her own filth 'til Mommy comes home?  The sad thing is, after my own informal survey of friends and family, I've decided a lot of guys lied to Pampers.

Come on!  Where are the real men out there?  I know I'm married to one.  I know that my husband changed as many (he'll, of course, claim more) diapers as me on any day of the week.  He understood that by being involved in our children's lives (even in those stinky trenches) he was bonding with our kids and setting the foundation for a strong relationship with them in the future.  He also understood that we chose to have these kids TOGETHER.  We're a team.  We're not Fun Guy and Poop Scoop Girl.  We're mom and dad and we both take turns doing the crap jobs when it comes to raising our kids.

Luckily for Mike, Donald and Gavin, they can all afford "good people" to wipe their children's asses, but the rest of us don't have that luxury.  So moms need strong dads to stand up and say, "Here honey, I'll take a turn."  (Trust me, guys, you want to take a turn.  There's nothing sexier than a man who does laundry and changes dirty diapers.  It's like foreplay for us.)  Man up, dads!  Change a diaper and show your kids that you want to involved in ALL aspects of their lives AND show your wives how much you love them.