People I Want to Punch in the Throat: How Best to Control Your Kids

FB

How Best to Control Your Kids

No children were harmed during this photoshoot
Guest post from the Hubs AKA "The Law" about his "Forceful" parenting style.

Lots of parents wonder why my kids are so well behaved and get 100's on their spelling tests.  Well, I thought I share my secrets to raising great kids.  I have seen those other asshat parents all over the media about how to control their kids.  Tiger mom, Wolf dad and the new entry Pistol Packing Papa. They go to such extremes to control their kids.  In reality, it is not so hard to control them and get them to do what you want.

Two simple words: Bribery and Blackmail.  Yes, I did say bribery and blackmail.  Let me explain myself before everyone tells me I am a bad dad and that my children are having a terrible childhood.

I have two kids, Gomer and Adolpha.  Gomer is a 7 year old boy and Adolpha is a 5 year old girl.  They are totally different, beyond being a boy and girl, and 2 years apart, they have totally different personalities.  If you don't believe me, just check out this conversation they had the other day.

Ever since birth, Gomer has been a very easy going child.  He started sleeping through the night at three weeks, yes those babies do exist.  He has always wanted to do the right thing and looked for our approval and love.  Gomer loves to be recognized for his efforts and rewarded.  This is the type of child who Bribery is perfect for.

Gomer is now in 1st grade and he gets a new spelling test every week.  At first he did not really care about getting a 100% on his tests.  I didn't want to pull the Tiger Mom thing and work him to death, but I felt that trying his best was important.  So, I had to try something different.  I told Gomer that if he came home with 100% on his test every week, we would go get something special after the test.  Guess what Gomer picked? Yes, Frozen Yogurt.  Simple, easy, no fuss, no muss, just a few dollars a week and Gomer tries his best to get the 100% on his spelling test.  Apparently frozen yogurt is like CRACK to these kids.  I keep Gomer on the YoCrack and I get him to care about getting 100s on his tests.  I know that YoCrack is not going get him into Harvard, but I bet a few well placed video games and some cash bonuses for stellar SAT scores just might.

Adolpha is a totally different story.  She was difficult from birth.  Hard to manage, cried all the time, very stubborn, and did not want to fall asleep unless she was left alone.  Yes, left alone in the crib, not held and rocked to sleep, but would only fall asleep if you put her down, alone in her cold crib.  What kind of baby does this?  Her older brother Gomer LOVED to be held.  Adolpha would just cry and cry if you thought your job was to rock her to sleep.  She was really not interested in all that close human contact.  She is very strong willed and will not back down to anyone (much like her mother).  It seemed as if she couldn't care less about what you wanted her to do.  She definitely couldn't care less about the consequences.  We would say, "You can't go get frozen yogurt if you don't listen," and her reply was "OK."  We would say if you don't do what we say, we are taking away this toy and her reply was "Here you go" and she would hand us the toy.  We have tried everything, until one day I came up with something that was pure genius.

Adolpha did not care about any of her toys except a stuffed dog named "PUPPY."  She carried Puppy everywhere.  She loved Puppy even more than most of her family members.  One day I was furious because Adolpha would not listen to me, so I took Puppy and gave Puppy the spanking of its life. Adolpha screamed like she was an extra in "SCREAM" and about to be hacked.  Adolpha was so scared and terrified that Puppy would get another beating that she did everything that I demanded.  Now, it's not just the threat of physical harm on Puppy that worked, even the thought of being separated from Puppy was enough to get Adolpha in line.  We can say things like "Puppy will not sleep with you, and Puppy will be all alone and very sad."  This seems to get her attention every time now.

My best advice is to find the "PUPPY" of your child.  The most prized toy, stuffed animal or possession your child has and use it to blackmail your child.  It just works.  Even better, if they don't have something they love, you need to GIVE them a toy or stuffed animal they will love just so you can take it away and use it for blackmail.  I know, that sounds terrible, but try it, you'll like it.  Easy, quick and fast results.

So here it is, the secrets of my success.  Bribery and Blackmail.  I am not interested in making my kids run outside in the cold snow wearing only underwear, I don't want to shoot my child's computer with a .45, and I don't want to make my kids hate me because I make them practice piano for 3 hours straight and tell them that they are garbage.  Or worse yet, do what these caretakers did and run your third grader to death, literally.

No, I just like to take my kids out for YoCrack once a week and threaten to spank a stuffed animal.  The way I see it, I am just getting them ready for the real world.  What do you think "WORK" is all about?  Your BOSS tells you to do something and you get paid for it.  If you don't do what your BOSS says, you lose your job and you don't get paid.  Hmmm...sounds like my kids are learning about the real world at an early age and getting a head start.

One last piece of advice.  You must start this at a very young age.  Kids are like young Jedi knights and their "Force" is getting stronger everyday.  We are like Darth Vader and growing old and weak with each passing day.  As the "Father" we must control and break the spirits of our young Padawans early before their Force grows too strong and overtakes us.  Remember the time when Darth Vader had to chop off Luke's hand just to get his point across?  That would not have happened if Darth Vader was able to train Luke from the time he was a young padawan.  Yes, Star Wars can answer any and all questions concerning parenting.

If you don't agree with this post, that is fine.  If you agree with this post, that is even better.  BUT, if you choose to base your parenting style on something you read on a blog called "People I Want to Punch in the Throat," I think you should take a step back and get a sense of humor.

The HUBS

If you want to read some more words of wisdom from the Hubs, you can read it here.

Don't miss my BOOK!

Don't miss a post. Find me on Facebook, Twitter or Subscribe via e-mail.

87 comments:

overworked supermom said...

hurrah for hubs! thankfully, I'm jumping in the bribery/blackmail (yes, we need both for ONE kid) early... the force is VERY strong with this one.

Michelle said...

Testify! We found the "puppy" of the household and use it wisely.

JWright said...

Absolutely brilliant! I don't have kids yet, but my siblings and I were parented in a similar fashion... it works! :)

Anonymous said...

I like! As far as I am concerned, if it works then do it. If anyone suggests that bribery and blackmail are BAD, it's all semantics to me.

Don't call it bribery or blackmail, call it a CONTRACT. Make a contract with your kids. They agree to do something and then if/when they do, you agree to make payment.

It's only bribery if you give the YoCrack BEFORE the child lives up to the expectation of the spelling test. It's a contract if they fulfill their side of the agreement and then you make payment with YoCrack.

In the process, they get the good grade while learning to fulfill their agreements.

Anonymous said...

Wait till they are old enough for cell phones....magic teen crack!

Julie said...

I often say that threats and bribery are the core of my parenting style. I also say that it helps to control behavior when they know "crazy mama" could come out at any moment. It doesn't hurt for them to think you COULD do something a little crazy!

Ali said...

My 5 year old also has a stuffed dog named Puppy, and it sounds like she has the same relationship with it as your daughter does. it actually sounds like my daughter and your daughter are exactly the same. The threatning doesn't work on her. I never even thought of spanking Puppy. Genius. I'll keep these tricks in my back pocket, just in case.

Valerie said...

So funny!! We use the xbox for the oldest (14) and our little one six is eager to please, with small forms of bribery working well.

Cate said...

I live in Etowah County in Alabama and the people here have very heavy hearts for the little angel whose grandmother ran her to death. For eating a candy bar. The woman is an evil cow and the child's step mother is just as evil for letting it happen. May they fry and then burn in hell.

Andrea said...

I have got to get my husband to read this, he thinks I'm crazy for reading blogs, but he doesn't realize how much funny shit is out there. And he LOVES Star Wars. Thanks for helping me to turn my husband to the dark side.

omgtwinshappen.blogspot.com

totallytawn said...

I did not think the Hubs could crack me up as much as Jen. I stand corrected. I also would like to put in my application to be "Buds." I have a 4-year-old daughter (her potential blackmail animal is "Bob" the bear) and a 8-year-old boy (who is Scrooge McDuck when it comes to cash) and a Hubs with a sense of humor. I also like wine. Sincerely, Tawn

JenF said...

OMG= They sound exactly like my oldest two children from their sleep patterns, to their how strong willed Adopha is even to the name of my Amanda and your Adolpha's stuffed animal 'puppy'! As they got older she would gladly hand over her cell phone for a week as opposed to stopping the offending behavior of the moment. My older two made it so far to 21 and 18 and are in college. My younger two are aged 10 (yes twins). Different as night and day, boy and girl. We are bribing for A's on their report cards. As 4th graders all they wanted was a dinner at Benihana. Uh huh, that's it one dinner a semester at one of their favorite restaurants! So far the bribing strategy is working! We have even bribed the girl that if she gets into an Ivy League school she will get a car. This too was her idea but sounded great to us. Work hard and we are way more giving as parents!!!

Tekglr33 said...

Another good one Punch Hub. My son's little blue bunny will most likely not care for you much from here on out.

Brie Nails said...

I'll have to try this! My son is more like your daughter and he also has a stuffed animal which he calls "PERRO".
I might have to give Perro some spankings and see where it gets me. Thanks for the advice!

Peytyn's Mommy said...

I have to say that your daughter and my daughter are exactly alike (age and all). I tried taking toys from her as a punishment and not only did she give me the toy I asked for, she gave others...Strong willed. I have tried everything, timeouts, sent to room, taking toys away, nothing seemed to phase her. I will have to find her PUPPY!

aimznc said...

Yes I agree. Been using B&B on my 9 yr old for 2 years now. Take away his star wars and the kid will do anything to get them back.

Beauxsquared said...

HUBS for President!!!!

Anonymous said...

As a mom of 4 daughters, each very strong willed & opinionated ( don't know where they get that from... as my hubs rolls his eyes at me) I've gotta agree on the whole blackmail/bribery thing.. It's a daily practice here & it works wonders!!!

TracyLynn said...

Love it and totally true....Mine are old, but guess what. There is one with a car and the other is married to his video games. Both great bargaining tools. :) Way to go Hubs!

Rosie said...

I was falling asleep til I got to the Star Wars references. My 4 year old daughter is crazy about "Dark" Vader and his "Stormer troops". There's a reason I keep her around.

Thanks for the laugh and yes, I use the B & B method wisely and with great results.

Chrissi said...

Your blackmail routine with "Puppy" is called using your child's currency. Ever read the Boundaries with Kids book? I believe that's where I first read about it. It mentions finding your child's currency and using it as a point of leverage in your discipline arsenal. I have a 9 year old with ADHD that I cyber/homeschool. He gets straight As, is constantly being complimented on his behavior, and speaks 3 languages. Currency works. ;)

BUT you have to recognize that their currency changes as they mature, so you have to adapt as they grow and discover what their currency is during each new phase and stage. Don't get lazy just because today's currency is working. You need to be a step ahead, figuring out what the next currency will be before they do. ;)

Chrissi, Cyber School Mom

VioletWings81 said...

Bribery has become my best friend here lately! I have 5 year old triplet boys, and they kept getting behavior reports sent home from preschool. I tried e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g: long time outs, taking away their favorite toys, no tv, not letting them listen to music when they go to sleep, no dessert. Nothing worked until I discovered their YoCrack. For them, it's an icee at the end of each week they don't act an ass at preschool. And, BOOM! All of the sudden, I'm not the mom of the banshee triplets anymore. I luzzz bribery!

Tima said...

We do the blackmail thing on this end.

bmmoore said...

I love the star wars reference. So many dads will understand that. Thanks.

Megan said...

My daughter will only respond to me rewarding her brother. Like I'll say, "If you don't clean your room, I'm giving your brother a dollar." She will not allow anything be given to him in her name. I'm probably encouraging sibling rivalry but the two of them working together against me doesn't sound that great, either.

The other one I bribe.

Anonymous said...

I really like this blog and though I read it frequently, I haven't commented before. My comment below is somewhat critical, but I mean no offense.

My mother did the blackmail thing with me. I remember sitting her down and having a very frank discussion about how I felt that she overused my weakness to manipulate me (I think I was about 10 years old at the time). She agreed to back off a bit, but from my perspective actually increased the manipulation. I felt that I'd let her know it was working, instead of adequately explaining that she was hurting me. The whole blackmail thing really led to my feeling betrayed by my mother. I felt that her blackmailing me was really a pretty lazy way out. How easy is it to find a child's weakness (in your example, "puppy") and then just jab at it until they do what you want them to do? Eventually it all backfired anyway when I became a teenager and rebelled.
You linked to a previous article in which you find yourself baffled by the idea that your daughter doesn't want to have children. It's interesting that in this article you talk about taking her pseudo-baby (puppy) and using her attachment to it against her. I wonder if having emotional attachments that can be used against her has anything to do with what she senses as too great a burden of motherhood?

I have my own daughters now and I definitely don't blackmail them. I do use bribery (video games on a weeknight if they do extra math above and beyond the school assigned homework, for example), and that works quite well. Their grades are excellent and my initial bribery is being replaced by their own sense of accomplishment as a motivation - once you come home with the highest test score in the class, you want to keep up the hard work.

Anonymous said...

Reading this, I kept thinking, "What a cool dude you are Hubbs." It was funny and not jerkish like your initial post. And you totally had me hooked...until the Star Wars analogy in the end. Can we say, "Nerd alert!"

Haha, good post Hubbs. I enjoyed it very much.

Donna said...

I bribe all the time but have never thought to punish his stuffed animals he loves so dearly... Brilliant! As a previous posted stated, I never thought the Hubs could make me laugh like Jen does - I stand corrected as well! Love this blog!

Kristy said...

Brilliant...but don't tell him or he'll be impossible to live with!

For a week my 2 yr old son was HELL to put to bed. We tried ignoring him (which resulted in utter destruction upstairs), we tried "super nanny" approach (walk him back to bed, no talking), what worked finally? Taking custody of his bed buddies. Each time he left his room after bedtime he would loose a cuddly from his bed. First night - 5 losses (yeah, it was hard to find him in bed - he had a posse). Second night 3 losses, third night 1 loss...now he doesn't come out of his room after bedtime - HOORAY!

Hubs has a point...each kid has a "currency" and you only need to find it to communicate your point.

Anonymous said...

I used bribery last night to get my kindergartner to do her homework. The "reward" 15 minutes on my elliptical machine.

I only wish something could motivate me to to get on that thing. Oh well, at least it is getting used by someone.

Hilary said...

We totally use B&B on the kids. I made up a new Bribery sheet, I mean reward chart, for our 6 year old today. Do the work, earn a star, the stars add up, get a prize! Whoo-hoo. Our 4yo is a tougher customer; blackmail leads to tears. Although, she has been eyeing my hubs iPad the way a Kardashian eyes a money-making publicity stunt. . .

Well done, Jen's Hub! And the Star Wars analogy? Always timely.

Anonymous said...

you could be descibing my 2 kids....crazy!! and I parent those two THE EXACT SAME WAY! :)

Sarah said...

I love this idea! I have a son and 3 daughters and I can't get him to EVER cooperate. But, maybe if I reward his sisters for his bad behavior, he will do what I want. You are a genius!!

That's just how life is. said...

Your youngest sounds like my oldest. She will keep you on your toes.

I remember once while being punished for something she informed us we were not doing it right. We asked what she meant and she said "That is not how the book says to do it". It turns out she was reading a chapter a head of us in a parenting book we had for a class on parenting we were taking.

I like to make things seem like a good idea to the child or even better like it was child'silds idea to begin with. My mom calls it "working my magic".

Noelle said...

What's funny is I have a 7 year old daughter who is much like your son - aims to please. She happens to have a pink puppy, Puppy, but she's a good girl and I haven't needed to resort to bribery with her, yet. At least I know it will work on her when I need it.

My younger daughter is 5 and is just like Adolpha, exactly! She was one of those babies that did not want to be rocked to sleep either. I just laid her down in her crib, awake, and she'd go right to sleep. She has a Woof-Woof, who periodically takes breaks on top of the refrigerator when Peanut starts acting up. Glad to see I'm not the only one using these tactics.

Michele said...

Oooo, I like the way you think!

maarmie said...

The bribery part I agree with. But threatening to assault a cherished "person" to her? How is that any different than saying "Do this or i'm throwing mommy down the stairs again."

Disagree!

Amy said...

My 6 year old was always leaving stuff at school. I told him that if he remembered everything all week I would take him to get a Slurpee on Fridays. Needless to say it's been a month and they know us by name at 7-11! I am all for bribery!

Jean said...

My parents preference was spanking but I have a medical issue. The solution was math problems, something the kid needs practice with but can do if careful. For each one wrong, they get two more. (This really got me in the habit of checking my work.) For example a 4th grader might get 30 long division problems or fraction problems. A first grader might have to write the numbers up to 100 or do 20 addition or subtraction. It worked so well with me, my parents quickly switched everybody over to math. All six of us went to college & are good at math. Three of us were National Merit Finalists. None of us hate math. We include an MD, a geophysicist, an oil engineer, a retired jobhopper (me, I have a degree in German), a bank officer, and a computer project manager. It is impossible to maintain a decent sulk or snit while doing challenging math problems. It worked with my kids too. I also fined my child who likes money. Usually just knowing about the fine was enough to stop the behavior. ( I only made about $20 from fines.) My other child thought writing was a fate worse than death. If he had to write a sentence 10 times, he acted like he was having to write it in his own blood. He didn't like writing essays either.

KatKrazee said...

I still do this to my 15 yr. old son. But our "puppy" days are way over so now it's the wireless router!! I unplug the thing & within 20 mins he's taking the trash out or whatever else needs done!!!

Brett Minor said...

I applaud your style. I use similar tactics. My daughter just wants to please me. She will do anything I ask if she thinks she will gets a smile from me. My son required punishment. The 'thing' that he wanted changed many times over the years, but I kept on top of it.

Athea Core Photography said...

Lol, I love it! We have a cookie timer and when my kids wont clean the playroom or do whatever it is they are told to do, I threaten to set the timer. For some reason this terrifies them and they jump to action. I have set the timer before but it has never actually gone off because they go crazy and do whatever it is they have been asked to do as fast as humanly possible. Im afraid of the day when the timer actually goes off cause I dont know what I will do, Ive been bluffing this whole time! lol

Beth H said...

I think you just described my two boys and our household.

lovetoread600 said...

I prefer to call this parenting style "incentives and positive reinforcement". It keeps the criticism to a minimum and makes me sound smart.

imbogus1 said...

That was HUBalicious !! Our kids want to have it all though...go figure.

The UnderToad said...

To be fair, "Puppy" is a stuffed toy, and Mommy is real. So there's that.

The UnderToad said...

To be fair, "Puppy" is a stuffed toy, and Mommy is real. So there's that.

The UnderToad said...

I plan to breastfeed and sleep with mine until they are in high school. Perhaps I can use one of those for leverage. Or maybe I'll threaten to vaccinate one of them the next she talks back.

Auntie Bea said...

I get my most valuable parenting tips from the "Dog Whisperer", but Star Wars works too. I've been trying to figure out how to blow people up with my mind powers for years now, but this blog soothes my rage for humanity. Thanks to Jen's hubs. I love his posts :)

Anonymous said...

Ha! My son--now 9--would never stay in a time-out. So...."Tiger" would be the one to go into time-out. Worked like a charm! He loved (and still does love) that stuffed tiger. Being separated did work like a charm. Bonus: We started early, too, and now we have very few problems!

ChrisM said...

Finding my son's "puppy". Was the key too potty training. Months of reasoning, talking, and accidents were solved in TWO DAYS once the DSI and Wii went into the closet. I agree, finding your child's "currency" and being willing to follow through are an amazing combination. The Force is strong in both of us, so I must be steadfast in my pursuits!

Katie said...

Right on the money. We are 100% for using bribery and blackmail here. By the way, my 2 oldest sound so similar to yours. I truly believe in birth order. The oldest aims to please, the 2nd (or my middle) generally is a pain in the ass who does whatever the hell they want. But they are usually hilarious...so it makes is easier to tolerate it :)

Anonymous said...

I love your blog. Though my my kids are now teens, I vividly remember those days. Once they got past the whole B&B phase I found SOCIAL EMBARASSMENT. I purchased the most obnoxious ball covered hat I could find. I told my kids if they back talked / door slammed / or were ever disrespectful to me I was wearing it to school and getting out of the car to pick them up. They're 16 & 17 and and to this day have never been disrespectful to me.

Thecutestkitty said...

When my daugter was about 3 she went through a selfish stage so one day I drove by a house with big rocks in the yard and just made up the "rock fairy".
Me: See those rocks over there in that yard?
Mandie: yeth
Me: A selfish child lives there. She wouldn't share her toys. One night she left them in her front yard and the rock fairy came and turned all of her favorite toys to rocks!
Mandie:???!!! (swallowed it hook line and sinker)
We used the rock fairy for a while. The funniest thing I remember was when she was just finishing a popcicle and I said...
Me: Oh, A banana popcicle. I love banana popcicles but that was the last one. I wish I had one. :(
Mandie: Wanna' lick the stick??

Anonymous said...

Wait, your child had a Wii and a DS before he was even potty trained? Seriously?

Jill said...

oh yeah. If mine would get out of bed, I would ignore him and go straight to the favorite toy. "Oh, no, Buzz he got out of bed. Guess you will be in timeout. I'm soooo sad for you" Time out was a basket in the garage. The next morning we would go by, "I missed you sooo much buzz, I sure hope HE stays in bed tonight" Just needed the right bait. Good stuff.

Faemoon said...

Bribery is my best friend! I haven't had the need for blackmail yet but I will make sure to keep that idea in my back pocket. :)

Kimberly said...

Bribery and blackmail work well for us too! Great post. May the force be with you!

Lauren said...

That is an awesome idea. My daughter sleeps with a gaggle of stuffed toys as well.

Christie said...

Too bad The Hubs hasn't figured out how to bribe or blackmail Jen into giving him more sexy time or trimming up her lady parts. Does she have a puppy he can spank? Or will she like that too mich? LOL

Mitzie said...

I just spent two hours trying to get my 2 y/o to stay in his "big boy" bed. I need to try this...

Sarah said...

I have no kids yet, but I will keep Hub's lesson in mind... Also,maybe him and this lady should chat!

http://www.chicagonow.com/parenting-without-a-parachute/2012/02/creative-parenting-how-1-mom-uses-star-wars-to-answer-questions-about-life/

jenderella said...

LMAO Star Wars can answer all questions about parenting. That rules! The "puppy" of our house is one of two things (depending on the day) her cell phone or the tv. And yes, I should have started this years ago. My little angel is almost 12 and honestly, making her watch the bullets through the laptop video and explaining that this could easily be her cell phone, was genius. She knows I'm just crazy enough to do it. However, if I had forced her to be better sooner, it may not have gotten so bad that the threats would have to go that far.

TNMom said...

Love it! We use both methods regularly, but saw a few tips in here that will help even further!
Love Jenn, Love the Hubs!
Devan

Anonymous said...

Every child and every situation is different. Lighten up. And P.S. Your analogy isnot the same thing

Raina said...

Love the Star Wars analogy!

Jamie said...

HERE HERE!!!! We do the same damn things and I'm pretty pleased (usually) with the way the kids have turned out thus far (14 and 10)

Penelope Lolohea said...

Hilarious!

Blackmail & bribery are the ONLY things that work for my son. He's 5, and is already better at arguing than I am, and is twice as stubborn as I ever was. The force is STRONG with this one.

Chelsea Edgren said...

Sorry Jen but this might be the funniest post thus far.

Anonymous said...

I do the same thing! It's one of the best ways to parent, I say! I take it a step further. I told my daughter that I'll give her 3 chances to pass her 8's multiplication test, if she passes then she gets starbucks, if she doesn't then SHE buys ME starbucks everytime she doesn't pass her 8's :) evil, probably. Effective, always.

Katie said...

My two kids are exactly the same! My older one is easy as pie and aims to please. My second child has been out to get me from day 1! My older one hates swimming lessons, so if she does her best she gets to go to McDonalds or get a pedicure. Yes, I said pedicure. However, in less than 3 weeks time she has become a stellar swimmer :)

Betsey said...

For us it's an animatronic cat. It goes in a bag and we suggest putting it in the porch for the neighborhood red tailed hawk to scoop up and take it to its nest. Way to parent!!!!

Betsey said...

This is awesome! I'm totally putting that idea in my back pocket for when my daughter grows up. Genius!!!

Cheers! said...

When my kids were little I used the manager for good restaurant behavior. If they couldn't behave at the table and allow me to eat dinner like a normal human being then the manager would come get them and they would have to wait in his office until we were finished eating. This works especially at any sit down restaurant because usually the manager will be a stop by each table asking how everything is going. ha! Now that they are older and can sit at a table and eat like human beings (well, most of time, they are a pack of boys ;) we all laugh about "the manager" days.
p.s. I was also not afraid to use the onstar button in my car for this same purpose. ;)

DavidsMom said...

My 5 year old son has 2 "puppies" his DS and any of his Hot Wheels. Just a threat of taking any away straightens him up - most the time. Blackmail works the best in our household but only with those 2 items, anything else and he is just like Aldopha.

Ajg said...

To make myself feel better, I use the words "exchange", "agreements" and "contracts" :D works like a charm! Thanks!

Anonymous said...

My kids are a little younger (2 and 10 months) but i will defiantly be trying this one on both them. My oldest seems alot like Gomer and my youngest like Adolpha (so far that is). Gonna try it.

Erin said...

AMEN... that damn cell phone is amazing. Tell the kid to take out the trash you get attitude.. text him.. he does it no complaint. Screw up grades, fine you can have it back when you reach a B. AMAZING week turnaround on that one. hot damn! blackmail and bribery..

Chaotic Beauty said...

Amen is right! The cell phone or Ipod / Ipad (where they now text when their phones are gone) is seriously a deal getter in our house.

I'm still cracking up about "puppy" getting a spanking... LOL! I'm having bad childhood memories of my dad throwing my "lion" stuffed animal onto the ceiling fan where he'd get whacked across the room... they all laughed...

Meg said...

OMG, Cracking up, picturing the lion getting whacked across the room!!!

katefeathers said...

Yup, you find your kids' most valuable currency and use it to make them move it.

CarrieNash said...

I tell my 6 yo daughter that she can't wear her Disney princess dress at Disney if she doesn't do what I ask. Works every time! She is obsessed with going!

Party of Three said...

I have always read that using their comfort item, like a favorite stuffy, blanket, lovey, whatever, is completely “off limits” when it comes to discipline. It’s a sense of security, and to me, that’s not something to mess with. I cannot imagine “beating” something that my daughter is so attached to…the thought breaks my heart, because to her, these aren’t just stuffed animals. She talks to them, she cuddles, she treats them like they are real. I wholeheartedly disagree with this one. Discipline, yes, but never do damage.

jtwizz said...

interesting that my FB's personality is similar to Gomer's, whilst my second child is similar to Adolpha... and that there is a similar age gap between them... hmmmmm

Britni Veretto said...

Funny side note.. This was an AWESOME blog post.. I wish I had a husband that would READ a blog.. let alone guest post! But the part that really got me giggling... The Ads on this page.. seriously to the right hand side, there was a half naked picture of a thai woman, advertising Thaisingleschat.com or something like that... lolol.. got to keep the funding coming in somehow.. Love your blog jen!

amy@flexibledreams said...

Overheard in my house, "I think my mom just bought me minecraft so she'd have something to take away."

Yup.

appsforsys said...

For us it's an animatronic cat. It goes in a bag and we suggest putting it in the porch for the neighborhood red tailed hawk to scoop up and take it to its nest. Way to parent!!!! pokemon go apk