If you've been reading me for any length of time you will know that I love to make a good list of rules. Rules for daughters. Rules for sons. Rules for my kids when they're at playdates. Rules for moms who host playdates. Rules, rules, rules. I enjoy a good list of rules, even if I hate to follow rules (don't we all?).
Now I have a new list.
Rules for Grandparents.
Disclaimer: Now, now, I know my parents read this blog and before they get their knickers in a wad, I will say: You are good grandparents and even better free babysitters, so just relax over there these are not all about you. Just have a laugh - and maybe stop watching so much "CSI" in front of my kids. Adolpha knows what "blood spatter" means.
Actually, that's a good place to start:
1. Be mindful of what you're watching on TV in front of my kids. I helped you sign up for extended cable, now use the directory and find "Scooby Doo" because "Game of Thrones" is not appropriate viewing material for my kids.
2. Be a good sport. When you attend my children's sports games, do not heckle them or their teammates or their opponents. "Move your ass, Number 3!" is never acceptable - and yes, everyone gets an award. I have to deal with it and so must you.
3. Grandchildren are not show ponies. Don't dress them up and parade them over to see Old Mrs. Chapman next door so they can "cheer up" her and her cats with the new songs they learned in Spanish class this week.
4. Keep your passive aggressive threats to yourself. "Don't worry, if your mom says 'no' you can always come live with grandma" will get you banned from my house. Or I might call your bluff and leave two kids and all their belongings on your front porch. School starts at 8:20 and Gomer needs over 100 of the same objects for the estimation jar and Adolpha needs to bring healthy snacks. (Do you even know what those are? Because I barely do.) Oh and don't forget to take some photos with Flat Stanley and get everyone new soccer cleats. I'm off to the spa!
5. Carseats are mandatory. Yes, yes, I know. Somehow we all survived childhood without carseats, but now you're old and you drive like shit so buckle them up.
6. You are not a doctor. Whiskey is not an acceptable treatment for teething and Vicks VapoRub is not the cure-all for every ailment.
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| Got a cold? Rub a little on your chest. Got the flu? Rub a little more on your chest. Lose a limb? Rub some on your stump. |
7. Stop trying to buy their love. You never tried to buy my love, so why are you trying to buy theirs? They love you. They do not need any more crap from the Dollar Store. Now, if you want to make a donation to their college funds . . . those are always accepted and appreciated.
8. Go easy on the sweets. Try serving some real food along with all the sugar you allow them to consume. For example, if they have donuts and hot cocoa for breakfast then lunch can't be leftover donuts with a Pixie Stick for dessert.
9. Bedtime is 8 PM sharp. I'm being generous here. At home, bedtime is 7 PM. I've given you a whole extra hour of fun time. Bedtime is not a "suggestion" - unless you want to keep them tomorrow as well.
10. Did I ask for your opinion? You had your chance to screw up a kid and now it's my turn, so pipe down with all the unwanted advice.
I know there are more, so let's hear them.
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209 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 209 of 209My daughter calls me Myriam, or Mommy or Maman depending on her mood. We don't have ''pets name'' in the family, and I don't address her dad as daddy (he's not my dad, he's hers!), so she picked up on it. I also call my parents by their first name. My mom used to say that there are a lot of mommies, but only one ''Nicole''. I'm really close to my parents, and I'm also glad that my daughter's friends know and address me by my name, not ''daughter's mom''.
That boy needs a slingshot.....I'm dying!
I totally agree with you - I have 7 kids, all grown up now and 5 Grandchildren but I didn't care what the Grandparents did as long as they were safe and thankfully my kids don't mind what I do for the same reason ... :-)
Here's another one: Grandparenting is not a competition to be won over the parents or the other set of grandparents. Don't treat the children as if they are a prize to be won or use them as pawns in a power play. It will only work against you in the long run.
This is getting depressing.. I am Mother-in-law to 3 lovely ladies married to our 3 sons... I understand a lot of the complaints (I was a DIL too!) but wow.. it seems like wives are pre-disposed to hating their in-laws :(
The small stuff isn't what I worry over. It's the big stuff. It's the setting of boundaries. It's the refusing to get railroaded by passive-aggressive power plays, thinly veiled threats and adult sized temper tantrums. The small stuff isn't a worry but if it isn't nipped in the bud, it becomes big stuff. Parents have the primary role in a child's life. Grandparents need to respect that and trust that if they raised their own children right that they know what they're doing.
But, Ben 10 is awesome! (dripping with sarcasm)
"I spoil them rotten. Their mom hates them drinking sweet tea, so that's what they get while they are here. I do feed them a well rounded meal also, because I know they don't get it at home."
Really???? I don't have as much of a problem with you giving the kids sweet tea....even though their Mom has specifically asked you not to...But man....you are so passive-aggressive with your comment that they don't get a well-rounded meal at home....
Why don't you try respecting the kids' Mom instead of being such a biotch?
Don't tell my child that their parents are bad with money so you'll be leaving your house with their aunt and uncle not their mom and dad, 12 year olds, don't need that kind of info. In case your wondering yes, that happened.
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