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The Crumb Wars

There's a new war brewing on the internet and it's not about breastfeeding or clothes. This time it's all about CRUMBS!

Irritating, messy, nasty little crumbs that irritating, messy, nasty little children leave in restaurants, because apparently no one should ever drop a crumb on the floor of a restaurant!

Here's the deal: A couple of moms took their kids to a little local cafe for a snack one day. The cafe serves scones. You know what a scone is, right? It's a crumbly, dusty little biscuit thing. Not a messy food at all. Ha! Anyway, the moms bought some scones for their kids and the kids ate them. Well, not all of them, because they managed to drop a ridiculous amount of scone bits on the floor.

The scone drops upset the owner so much that she sent over one of her minions to vacuum up the mess because she "just spent $50" getting the carpets cleaned.



OK, I'm sorry, but I just have to stop right there and ask a few questions. Who cleans carpets for 50 bucks? Because I need their number. I can't get a vacant apartment's 700 square feet of carpet cleaned for under a hundred. Also, why in the world would a restaurant have carpets? If you're going to serve crumbly scones, you need wood or tile floors that are easily swept. Carpets in restaurants skeeve me out. Also, I'm just going to say, who takes their kids out for scones? Scones? Really? Ugh. I know, a doughnut is too unhealthy for you, but a muffin wouldn't suffice. It had to be a scone?

Now, back to my story. So the worker has to vacuum the floors more than normal AND the owner tells the moms that the next time they come back to her fine establishment for another delicious scone they should leave the rugrats at home, because they're not welcome anymore. Say what??!

Yeah, let me think about that one too. A restaurant owner comes over to my table to inform me that I'm dining with small pigs and then has the balls to say, "The NEXT time you come back, please don't bring your offspring with you." Lady, there will never fucking be a next time. I can assure you of that.

After the moms leave (hopefully with a real loud "Fuck you and your scones!") the owner of the cafe snaps a picture of their awful, horrible, outrageous mess and posts it on her store Facebook page with some message like, "Thanks to all of our clean customers for not being such a mess!"

Want to see the mess? Are you ready? Are you sitting down? It's a shocker. It's amazing.



Keep scrolling .... you won't believe it!





ACK!!!! Shield your eyes! Am I right?!! Oh. My. God. It's ... Wait. That's it? That's the "mess"?!!

Let me tell you something, I make that much mess eating a fucking scone!

This cafe owner obviously has no idea what a mess looks like.

I didn't read about this story until today, but I wish I had known yesterday, because yesterday I saw a mess to end all messes and I would have looooooved to have snapped a pic for a side by side comparison.

Yesterday I took my kids to McDonald's for lunch. (Yes, yes, go ahead and judge me. I don't feed them scones, but I will feed them a chicken-like nugget.) As we were enjoying our weekly allotment of sodium, a group sat down in the booth behind Gomer and me. It was three young children and two completely under-qualified grandparents.

The three-year-old proceeded to ensure that no one in the restaurant could have a conversation with their lunch partner, because he decided to become a dinosaur. Perhaps I should write it this way: HE'S A D!I!N!O!S!A!U!R! R!A!W!R!R!R! That way you can get the full effect.

Every time he would roar, the grandmother would sigh loudly and the grandfather would say, "Hey now, buddy, dinosaurs need to eat too."

When this small velociraptor wasn't roaring he was licking the window and/or his seat.

Gomer almost puked watching him. Adolpha decided right then and there to. Never. Have. Children. Ever. (Thank you, dinosaur boy, for ruining my dreams of being a grandmother to Adolpha's kids.) I believe her quote was, "Is someone in charge of him?"

When the family was done "eating" they went into the play area and left us in peace.

I put "eating" in quotes, because once I turned around and looked at the space they had occupied, I'm not sure that any eating happened. There was a lot of chewing and a lot of spitting out.

Mangled nuggets littered the floor while soggy fries floated in a puddle of Hi-C. The seats were trashed with hunks of burger and sloshes of milk shake. I'm not positive what happened to the dozens of napkins strewn across the table, but shredded is the word that comes to mind. (Maybe the kid really was a dinosaur??)

When the worker came over to sweep/mop and sanitize for your protection the mess my mom said, "I'm sorry about that."

He replied, "Why? You didn't do it. It's no big deal." And within three minutes he had the booth and the floor back to normal and ready for use again.

Now, I realize that McDonald's is designed to be hosed down with industrial strength cleaners and its main clientele are young children and old people (what gives with all of the senior citizens who dine at McDs??) who are generally known as the messiest eaters on the planet, so they're well equipped and prepared for the clean up that comes with their clientele.

I also realize that the scone place is probably not the most kid-friendly joint in town, but the scone cafe owner lady needs to get a grip on what a real mess is. Get a dog and he'll solve that "messy" problem easy peasy. She also needs to figure out how to make her customers feel welcome. You can't tell a patron that they're welcome to return anytime just as long as they don't bring their kid with them. You can't go on Facebook and thank your non-messy customers for their patronage and not expect to create some sort of firestorm. She's the owner and she can refuse anyone she likes (I think - although there are some protected classes, I'm guessing) and say what she wants on her Facebook page, but when she does, she'd better be prepared for the entire internet to show up on her doorstep with an opinion.

I just wish I lived close enough so I could go and see these immaculate carpets up close and personal. I'd be so nervous I'd probably accidentally spill my coffee all over them. If she takes a picture of the mess I made, I'd want her to at least link it to my Facebook page!

Like me on Facebook and Twitter - I don't care how messy you are.

Photo source: King5

50 comments:

  1. Whoopsie-doodle. That was a really dumb move. sheesh.

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  2. They lost me at "carpeted". Why why why?

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  3. My mom used to own a cafe. It had tile floors. She did really well for herself and that was in huge part due to the fact that she is a people person and loves children! She would wait on the busy moms and dads, encouraging them to take a load off while she chatted with the little ones and held babies. She obviously could only do that if it was slow or her teenage helpers were managing to run things smoothly. She would never dream of chasing away business because of something as petty as dropping crumbs! It was to be expected. After all, a cafe is a usually open during the early mornings and afternoons, you know, when lots of parents and kids are looking for shit to do!

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  4. I do live close enough. Going on vacation, but I plan on checking it out when I get back!!

    }:) (<---thats my planning evil grin)



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  5. To be fair, the owner asked the moms to leave after one of their kids had been having a huge meltdown for a while and the mom had done nothing about it. She told them that they would be welcome back any time, just without the kids when she asked them to leave. And while she had posted the picture and comment sarcastically, she then admitted that she shouldn't have done so. In fact, she even donated the sales of all the scones that day to get school supplies for kids. So, in all, she admitted her mistake and had apologized to the moms about the picture and did something good about it. I don't think she deserves as big as a punch as your giving.

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    1. Do note that I said "as big of as a punch." A mini punch is appropriate.

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    2. I kinda wonder what a 'huge meltdown" means in her shop though, kwim?

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    3. Exactly Sammy! If that was such a huge mess that she had to deal with then I wonder what she took to be a huge meltdown.

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  6. It's one thing to ask a patron to be mindful of the mess they've left (such as it were) but it's an immature shopkeeper who will post a picture and bitch on social media about it.

    Lesson for the coffee shop owner? Gossip & complain discretely about the people who are GIVING YOU MONEY. And get a damn dustbuster.

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  7. I got the impression that the screaming meltdown was at least as big of a factor, if not more, than the crumbs. I don't necessarily agree with the owner posting the picture but the mother is the one who embarrassed herself by raising a stink and being interviewed on television. Until then nobody knew who she was. I also dodn't appreciate her playing the "I'm a military mom and I have to take my kids everywhere" card like she did. I've been there too and if my kid couldn't behave we left.
    I think more than one person deserves a punch in this case.

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    1. Couldn't agree more!

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    2. Wow! She actually used the 'military mom' card as an excuse for not disciplining her kids?? Thank you for making all the rest of us look like twatwaffles. Using your husband's deployments as an excuse to not discipline your kids is a douche move, lady. The way I see it, I'm the only parent my kids have around for most of the time and you better believe that they are disciplined and have manners when we are in public because if they don't, there's hell to pay, cuz ain't nobody got time fo bratty kids! You're whining because you have to take your kids everywhere?? Welcome to real life, suck it up! I completely agree Brandy E, this mom also deserves a punch for giving the rest of us military moms who make do with what we are given and don't complain about it a bad name. And rant over!

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    3. That military mom crap is a load and a huge punch in the throat to the rest of us. How badly do you need a scone that you can't get your kid out of the coffee shop? Ask for a bag, pour your coffee in a to-go cup and get your kid home! It's that simple. Being the only available parent for whatever reason (deployment, divorce, whatever) is never an excuse for letting your kid act like an asshole in public and expecting every one else to suck it up and deal.

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    4. Totally agree. I don't necessarily think the cafe owner deserves a punch at all. This woman sounds like she was looking for her moment of "fame" - the cafe owner didn't even single her out on social media and has since apologized. The mom is still playing the victim card. Ugh.

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    5. Thank you to you military mom's who replied to this - for your sacrifices, and also for posting the most awesome word I've heard in a while, that I cannot wait to use! Twatwaffles... you rock!

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    6. twatwaffle? are you by chance a member of backyard chickens page? that is the only place i ever have heard that term before, lol!

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    7. Epic meltdowns are not always the parent's fault, and shaming a mom publicly because her child is out of control is a great way to dump more shit on a mom who's already dealing with extreme stress.

      Of course she's going to come up with some excuse for her child's behavior- that's what moms do when they have kids they agonize over.

      I've been that mom. My son has an anxiety problem that led to up to four-hour meltdowns. Hysterical, screaming meltdowns. It wasn't always possible to take him home, but that was my usual strategy. Now, as a teen, he's got his emotions under control, but I will never shame a mom who is trying to deal with a tantrum. And I sure as hell will never endorse a childish, unprofessional post like this "caffe" made.

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  8. I think part of the problem is that parents have stopping teaching kids manners and to behave, how to eat in public, how to act when they are around other people. Had I left a mess like that as a kid, my mom would have marched my butt in the back and asked for a broom so I could clean it up! And yes, before you ask, I am that annoying lady that will ask you remove your child that is disturbing others. I have 5 kids (24-15) and when they were little, they practiced behaving in public. I've left or had boxed up plenty of meals because my kids acted out.

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    1. Parenting done correctly!

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    2. this is how my husband is... part of the reason we don't eat out a lot is because he freaks out when the kids drop food on the floor. he will spend 10 minutes after our meal cleaning up every strand of spaghetti and stray crumb with napkins before we leave.

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    3. I am sorry for how this may come out, but hear me out to the end.

      Stick your nose in to my family's affairs uninvited and you'll likely be told just exactly where you can shove it. And then I'll let my wife punch you in the throat because I would only put hands on a lady in self defense.

      I have some points you should probably consider before you let your diatribe dribble out of your mouth.

      #1) With today's hypervigilence in regards to child abuse, brave is the parent who will actually discipline their child in public. Case in point, recently we were at a restaurant and I took my 3 y/o to the bathroom for an "attitude adjustment". And when I left the bathroom, I was given glares from the employees who happened to be nearby and heard. For the rest of the meal, all I could think about was when the cops were coming. And children toady know this and they sometimes will use it against their parents.

      #2) How do you think children are taught how to eat in public? They have to go in public to practice.

      #3) Stop making overly generic statements that lump all parents together into the "manners aren't being taught" category. I teach mine. I teach them every day. It doesn't change the fact that at the end of the day, that child is still a human being that will make their own choices, good and bad. One of my only hopes is that in the end, my kids make more good ones in their life than bad.

      #4) in the end, some kids cannot help that they misbehave. They have disorders that cause them to act a certain way. Sometimes parents are trying everything they can to figure out a way to help that child through therapies or medications and just have not been able to find the right combination yet. What are they supposed to do cloister them away like Quasimodo?

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  9. You know, I've worked in various restaurants over the years. Kids make a mess. When I go out to eat I pick up the shit they leave on the floor (chunks of food, napkins, etc), and have basic courtesy. But I don't get my ass down on the floor either and sweep up the crumbs...f that. That's why I tip. And I tip well...but anyway. Even the people that don't tip well when the server has extra clean up, kids are going to leave a mess. You bitch about it at the server station, you clean it up, and then you forget about it. Taking a picture? I would take a picture MAYBE if it was like the table exploded. I don't know...and I can't believe the owner told them not to come back with the kids. In the restaurant industry the customer is ALWAYS right (and usually an asshole if we've gotten to that point). ALWAYS. Even though they made a mess, they paid you MONEY TO SIT AND EAT. A lot of money. Moms probably had a couple of diet cokes? That's like 1000% markup. Scones? For everyone? They've got to run $5 a piece, right? And cost maybe .50 to make? That's why restaurant owners are supposed to kiss ASS all day. Customers are the reason they can pay their mortgage. Shoddy business.

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  10. I saw this story and thought the same things you did, Jen. The owner's idea of a mess is laughable. As to the children's behavior, the mom said in an interview that her children were not acting up. I know that this is debatable since she is bias, but you have to go with the facts. If the child was unruly, why did the owner complain on FB about the "mess" and not the behavior. It doesn't add up. I think that she added the "screaming" part of her story so she didn't come off as a complete asshole.

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  11. I used to crawl around on the floor cleaning up my kid's dropped food, until the day I picked up a piece of steak when our party did not have steak. That was the end of that.

    Having worked for many years in customer service, I can state confidently the customer is not always right, but unless they are harming others or breaking the law, they are always welcome.

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  12. Can I post a picture on here? My sister-in-law works at a bar/restaurant and posted a pic of the mess a GROWN MAN made and left (without paying). I would love for you to see it. Much worse than dried crumbs that are easy to vacuum up.

    In my opinion, if you are crying over a few crumbs when you serve scones, you are living in la-la land.

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  13. Lol...wow to the owner on this one. There are so many people who want to be in that line of work, I wouldn't be chasing away any of my customers. As a mother, if my child misbehaves, we leave. I clean up her mess before we go, because everything she touches looks like a tornado hit. I even pick up the big stuff off the floor, pre-bus the table and leave a really good tip.
    I waited tables when I was 18 at a steakhouse. I had a group of ladies and their very young children come in for a get together over lunch. By the time they left I practically had to shovel their table out. Including the freshly pumped breastmilk that she spilled on the seat and carpet while joking around with her friends....and the dirty diaper that was changed at the table. I have never been so grossed out. They had made absolutely zero attempt to even keep the wee ones from flinging food in all directions. It took me forever to clean it up.
    I have also served at a Pizza Hut where the local high school soccer team came after a game complete with coaches. We spent 2 hours cleaning spitballs off windows, before we could even get to all the food smeared all over and the general disaster that was left. The coaches did nothing but pretend they didn't see it.
    Both situations amounted to me gritting my teeth, cleaning it and determining that serving is for a much kinder person than myself. They are both prime examples of why you should know what you're getting yourself into when you make a career choice.

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  14. Sorry, but I'm with the shop owner here. It's her cafe, and she can choose the level of mess she's willing to put up with. Bad taste to post the pix? Maybe. But it's not like she posted a picture or description of the women and said "watch out for these women with their messy kids!" And the mom chose to out herself and get all whiny about it. This isn't "mom shaming" as some news articles called it - I so don't see this as a shaming post at all. It's not like she said "shame on anyone who ever brings kids to my store"! And the whole "I'm a military mom" card was pathetic in its irrelevancy. Parents sometimes have to take kids with them. I had 4 kids under the age of 2, and I wouldn't go into a restaurant not meant to be kid-proof/friendly until they were trained to handle it. Any mess like that? Damn. I'd've been up to the counter apologizing and asking for a vacuum and babbling about how I learned my lesson about giving demonspawn scones.

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    1. Do you really consider that picture of a few crumbs, a mess? You must have trained your kiddos well.

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  15. Oh, some paying customers came into your restaurant where you serve food and made a little mess? Lady, call the WAAAmbulance. I know plenty of hardworking, talented restauranteurs who would LOVE to have a mess to clean up. Crumbs mean they have revenue. If you can't take the crumbs get out of the kitchen.

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  16. I have always cleaned up any excess mess on the floor or table my child has made with food in any eating establishment; and when he was old enough, I had him help clean it. I figured it was just common courtesy.

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  17. Now, there are people posting positive comments on the "Caffe"'s page, about how excluding kids will make for a better clientele base.

    So ... this place is the Abercrombie & Fitch of the scone world?? Pow! Right in the throat!

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  18. Ok, to briargrey, I agree that it's her business and she can decide what level of mess she wants to put up with. The way she handled it, going over and speaking so rudely? Then posting pictures? That was uncalled for. But you're right. It's her business. And it's everyone else's choice to probably not go to her place of business anymore after her poor show of customer service.

    Look, I'm a mom of two. My daughter is a prissy princess. My son is a walking tornado. He's autistic and severely delayed, has trouble using forks, and only eats food like rice, which you can imagine gets pretty messy. I'm not going to hide him under a rock. I take him with us to go out to eat and try to find the easiest meal to clean n the menu. I KNOW we are a handful. I always compensate with tip. Most places where we regular are happy to see us despite the mess. Hell, I even try to clean up after him as much as I possibly can.

    Maybe I'm an optimist, but I like to think that MOST parents who go in to a place that looks a little nice with children do their best to be understanding customers. Most parents, like myself, try and clean up after themselves if they are too messy or at least compensate the owner or waitstaff. My biggest issue with this whole story is that it sounds like she went up to them while they were STILL EATING and basically told them to 'Eff Off." That's bad business and bad manners.

    And again, who the hell puts carpet in a cafe?

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    1. Actually, a lot of people on social media are supporting the cafe owner - because it seems that the issue was more about the kids screaming than the "mess" such as it was. You know what they say about any press being good press? I bet she'll get a ton of new business out of this from a lot of people who can't stand to eat with messy, noisy children (and there are plenty of those people around)

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  19. I'd like to see restaurant managers/owners kick out adults who have conversations on their phones at full volume about things that no one cares to hear while eating. THOSE are the real problems.

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  20. The name of the place was Rainy Day Cafe - I hope she saved up her pennies cause she is going to need them for the boycott. Second, I dined at TGIF and watched a kid puke all over their table and floor and then the staff and parents didn't clean it up. If there was a photo op/complaint ever that would have been it.

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    1. Don't confuse the two!! There is a Rainy Day Cafe- ONE "F". The restaurant connected with this has TWO "F"s. Apparently they can't spell, either...

      Not fair for the other restaurant to catch a shit storm over something totally unrelated.

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  21. Without really knowing all the facts about how it all went down, I don't know if she needs this punch or not, but I can say : THERE is the hard core, punchy Jenn that we all know and LOVE! Bring it girl....PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH! WOOT! <3 Devan :)

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  23. The store owner had me on her side til she posted the picture on Facebook. She owns the place and she has a right to decide what type of patronage she wants (whether or not that is detrimental to her business...it is still up to her). I hate it when I go out to eat and someone's bratty kids are screaming, throwing things, running around. It gives a bad name to all the good parents out there who make their kids use their manners in public. If the owner didn't want loud kids in her cafe, more power to her. But don't be a twat and post the picture of some crumbs on Facebook! I'm so not a fan of the passive-aggressive public shaming. I am horrified that she would do something as unprofessional as to post that picture. When did it become acceptable to put this kind of crap online? Well at least she only posted a little mess. I read a story about a guy who killed his wife and then posted a picture of her freshly-dead corpse online. I'd much rather see crumbs than dead people....although really I'd rather see neither.

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    1. To be fair, the cafe owner didn't shame anyone - she didn't name anyone in the picture and then took it down and has since apologized for putting it up. The mom in the story? Still playing the victim card.

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  24. I've read all the comments and I am sticking with... this woman deserves a big punch. I worked in restaurants for several years and I'd have been pleased as fuckin' punch (yup, pun) if that is the biggest mess a table of kids left. I echo those who said if this is her idea of a mess what is her idea of a meltdown?

    By the way - REAL restaurants are equipped with brooms and dustpans and staff to use them for a reason. If this mamby pamby "Cafe" owner is afraid of a few crumbs in her eating establishment she should probably hang up her little sissy apron and open up a library with a no food or beverage policy.

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  25. I'm actually one of those people who asks to be seated in the "No Children" section when I eat out, so I understand being fed up with rotten kids and lazy parents, but since the owner didn't have a "NO Kids" sign on the door then she better get used to picking up scone crumbs. To be fair, I always get scones at Starbucks and eat them in my car and they're a disaster every time. She should alter her menu if she loses her shit over crumbs because scones are messy no matter who eats them.

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  26. Oh, those café owners should work ONE HOUR at Red Lobster, home of the world's crumbliest biscuits, screaming dysfunctional families and people who change diapers at the table.

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  27. After reading the post and all the comments, I've come to the conclusion that BOTH women deserve a punch. The Mom for playing the military mom card to excuse her heathen's terrible behavior (and in effect, her complete lack of parenting) and the cafe owner for being the twat-iest restaurateur ever. (Okay, maybe not EVER but definitely recently.)

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  28. As a military mom for the twenty, I appreciate how the country is becoming more supportive and appreciative of the military family however, this girl is not a military mom, even if her husband is in the military and is deployed. Have some pride and enough common sense to select a child friendly place to take the kids for a snack. that would not be the place serving tea and scones

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  29. IMO Mom and Restaurant owner did not have their best moment here. Maybe a gentle double punch?

    Both women could have been more mature. Owner complaining on social media was just asking for trouble. Sounds like she knows it now.

    I remember having little ones, and eating at a fast food place with my Mom. We got up to leave, and she started picking our mess up off the floor. She's the nicest woman I know. She wasn't trying to make a point. Just doing what she thought was right.

    I was embarrassed, because I had never thought to do that before. Sometimes people are just ignorant (in the literal sense). I always picked up after ourselves after that. It's just a nice thing to do. I want to be a nice person, and have my kids see me being a nice person.

    My husband and I were celebrating our anniversary at hamburger/ice cream place last week. A dad and young girl we know (just a little) saw us, and sat down by us. The daughter proceeded to demand our attention the entire time. She eventually was sitting next to me. Showing me brochures and asking if she could come over to my house.

    Her dad was okay with that. It made me want to continue to remind my kids that when we are in public places it isn't just about us. We have to be respectful of other people and what they've got going on.

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  30. OK, here's my opinion: My daughter is now 6, but is developmentally delayed/Autistic. That being said, restaurants and our daughter sometimes do not mix. She has been prone to sitting under the table, screaming, pitching fits, etc. Every time we've had episodes or scenes at a restaurant, we would first try to take her to the restroom for a cool-down, time-out to try to calm her down. If that didn't work, we would usually ask to be moved outside (if available) for the sake of everyone's attempt to a nice meal in a public place; plus, being outside usually helped her mood/behavior. If that failed, we would just ask for to go boxes and call it a day in the "trial and error" in the world of a Special Needs kid... Whether it's a fast-food restaurant, coffee shop, or food truck bench, clean up after yourself!!! I agree with Jenn- carpets at any restaurants is subject to a major, "Ewww!!!!" in my book- very skievie (sorry about the spelling), just subject to germs and bacteria beyond anything I know...I'm with you, Jenn on everything else- keep 'em coming!!!

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  31. I shared this with my Husband and he is one of those men that isn't really fond of kids and their messes or noises (except his own) and even he was like "what!". I went looking for their FB page to see where they were located and surprise, it's disabled. But I did happen to see that it is located about 30 minutes away from me. My kids love scones!

    However, I wouldn't waste one dollar on that horrible woman's business. Yes, you should clean up after yourselves. But a few crumbs on the floor? Calm the eff down! Seattle just passed a $15 minimum wage law. I don't know if that area is included (yet) but you should probably know how to operate a vacuum if you're going to make that much.

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  32. You may want to add a disclaimer- the restaurant's page has been shut down, probably because of the shit-storm that ensued after that ill-advised misjudgement.

    There is however, a restaurant and bakery of the same name- but their name has one "F" in Cafe, while the carpeted one has two- Rainy Days CaFFe.

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