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TIME Magazine

Surely you've seen this new cover at TIME Magazine.


Hey, TIME, stop this right now!  What the hell is wrong with you?

Let's start with the picture that you chose.  I don't have hard stats (and I'm way too lazy to go do real research), but my informal polls at the playground lead me to believe that most moms who subscribe to attachment parenting are older hippie moms with gray hair and saggy boobs and Subarus.  Why aren't they on your cover too?

Actually, where did you find the woman on your cover?  A young, hot, defiant woman who practices attachment parenting?  I've never seen anything like her and my guess is it took you a long time to find her.  She's like the Yeti of the attachment parenting world.

Are you a bunch of pimply teenage boys over there who get turned on watching a MILF breastfeed?

It's as if Beavis and Butthead are in charge at your offices.  Actually, I take that back, apparently the Hubs is in on it too.  Here's what he said to me tonight:  "Have you seen this thing?  Holy crap.  It's arousing and disturbing all at the same time."

Nice job, TIME, sounds like you got just the reaction you were looking for, you perverted jackholes.

Just say what it is:  It's Mother's Day, which is usually a boring topic for our magazine, so we decided to spice it up a bit.  

I think the powers that be at TIME sat around the board room and had this imaginary conversation:

Man 1:  The article kind of sucks, because attachment parenting is kind of boring and hardcore and no one will read it, so let's make sure the cover is titillating.  

Man 2:  Heehee, you said tit-illating.  

Man 1:  Haha.  I did.  Well, I think it's a good word for what we want.  Let's see the photos we have to choose from.

Man 2:  We've got tons of pictures of nursing moms to choose from, but their breasts are so....well-used....

Man 1:  "Well-used"?  Hell, these things look like 2 week old helium balloons.  Yech.  No amount of photoshop can help those.  Oh my God, is that a hair on this one's nipple?

Man 2:  Yes.  We've been told those are very normal.

Man 1:  I don't know.  I think she should get that checked out.  Blech.  Don't we have any one young with perky boobies - yeah, they need to be boobies, because breasts are just too real looking. Hello...who is this?

Man 2:  Her name is Jamie Lynn Grumet and that is her 3, almost 4, year old there on the stool.

Man 1:  Jamie Lynn Grumet, I am going to make you famous.

Ugh, you idiots.

Now, what about the caption:  "Are You Mom Enough?"

Fuck you, TIME.  It's Mother's Day weekend and you're going to trot that boring mommy wars shit out now?

(Here's a genius idea for you guys for Father's Day, let's start the daddy wars - have you heard of Douchey Dads?  I can hook you up with a great model for your cover, I can take you to their natural habitat.)

Yeah, I'm mom enough.  I don't need to put on my fabulous skinny jeans and whip out my itty bitty titty to feed my preschooler (I refuse to call that kid a "toddler") on the cover of a national magazine to prove it.

I also don't need Dr. William Sears - the guru of attachment parenting - telling me I'm not mom enough.  This guy has the market cornered on making moms feel like absolute shit.  He loves to tell us all how we're doing it wrong and how inadequate we are because:

  • We don't breastfeed our kids until they can spell "delicious and refreshing breast milk."
  • We don't co-sleep with our kids until they absolutely beg to leave the family bed out of sheer embarrassment from telling their friends at middle school they still sleep with mommy and daddy.  
  • We don't love our babies, because occasionally we put them in bouncy seats to give our aching backs a break. 

Between TIME Magazine showing us that you should be hot when you breastfeed and Dr. Sears telling us that we're screwing up our kids if we don't practice attachment parenting, I think it's going to be a great Mother's Day.

Thanks for pulling out all the stops to make this one special, TIME!

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms reading this.  We all raise our kids differently and we're all doing the best we can do.  Don't buy into this shit and just know you ARE mom enough!



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262 comments:

  1. Anonymous08:58

    Happy Mother's Day, Jen!!!

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  2. Anonymous09:01

    I'm a big supporter of extended breast feeding, but that woman looks so ANGRY and defiant. When I nursed my 2 1/2 year old I hope I was a bit more loving-looking.

    Breastfeeding is natural and normal; why did Time have to make such a scene? Oh wait...to sell mags.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know I looked angry when my first born bit me while breastfeeding the first(and last) time.That's also when he learned his first string of expletives-Shit Motherfucker FUCK!!!- which he then delighted in repeating often...especially in front of strangers.Thank God he had a lisp-I could usually cut him off after "sit mudder".

      Delete
    2. Anonymous14:24

      You gave me my laugh for today, thank you. This is coming from a Mom who still on occasion is being bitten, glad I'm not the only Mommy who knows and uses those words.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous16:16

      Thanks 'spymay', I almost snorted Coke Zero out my nose when I read your post. I don't usually post on these, but I wanted to say thanks for the laugh. I've taught my 3 1/2 year old all the bad words he knows too. :)

      Delete
    4. Hahaha spymay! My 6 year old is the same way. I was nervous when his class was learning about the letter F. I had visions of his hand shooting up to offer an example.

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    5. Anonymous09:30

      OMG! Anyone who breastfeeds ANY child after they have already been walking is just plain sick! It should be child molesting at that age! I can't believe TIME would even promote that!And anyone out there who thinks that is normal~needs a "shrink" There is no difference in breastfeeding your school aged kids then your school aged kids sleeping with their teachers! So they should be put in jail as well as the teachers that do that!

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  3. Anonymous09:19

    Yup, I agree. Surely someone who breastfeeds to such an extent would not do so in public, but maybe rather as comfort at the end of the day. This does nothing to promote breastfeeding and is, frankly, exploitative. And gross.

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    Replies
    1. I agree here, I nursed my youngest son until he was 3 or a bit older, and it became an at the end of the day ritual before bed time. I noticed that he was beginning to smirk a bit when it was mum time, and one day I said, "Do you really need to do this or are you just doing it out of habit?" It had turned into a fun game for him at some point---and we both agreed right there that he was weaned. It was humorous and he went his merry way.

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    2. Anonymous09:39

      3?? For real lady, if you say YOU enjoy it, then you need to be behind bars for child Molesting!That's just plain nasty! Most babies lose their bottle at age 1, not stay on the tit at 3?? WTF lady! You people out there breastfeeding til your child goes to school, you say it's bonding, I say you are a sick & need to go to jail like the rest of them child molesters!

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  4. I am a good mother because my 3 year old is happy, healthy and people generally enjoy his company. There is no book on how to be a parent. If there is, mine must still be in my uterus (maybe that is what is causing this tummy pouch that won't go away). Do the best you can and try not to raise a sociopath.

    Happy Mother's Day to everyone brave enough to give it a try.

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    Replies
    1. Beth14:06

      Love it! That's my overriding principle: "try not to raise a sociopath!"

      Delete
    2. Anonymous16:17

      Very well said sheshe! Love it. Have a Happy Mother's day!

      Delete
    3. My single goal is not to raise an asshole. However I accomplish that qualifies me as
      Mom enough.

      Delete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  6. There is nothing wrong with different styles of parenting, I think what works for you works best. If anyone feels guilty from what Dr. William Sears thinks, then maybe they should question their style of parenting?? I don't feel guilty about anything I feel I am doing right!

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    Replies
    1. I agree - there are many ways to parent, and the right way is whatever is best for your family. This doesn't make me feel guilty.

      I think the tag line and the photo are provocative, and that's to sell magazines, and that's the point.

      On the other hand, while I probably would not have felt comfortable b-fing past 18 mos (if I had even made it that far which I didn't - but agan, no guilt, I did what I could), there is a huge bias against extended nursing in this country. I wish people were more open and accepting of it instead of thinking it were gross, and I wish this article would have taken a different approach. I don't think it did attachment parenting or extended breastfeeding any favors in the way it was done.

      Delete
  7. I agree Jen, this article is just exploitative. It will turn off anyone who is on the fence about breastfeeding to begin with and make people who do breastfeed uncomfortable. Which is great overall, for the children, right?

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  8. It's just an attention-grabbing headline. And obviously it worked.

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  9. HAHAHA I just wrote about this yesterday! I love your blog so much!

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  10. Agreed... Honestly, as much as I loved breastfeeding my son, 1) secretly I was so happy to have my freedom/boobs back 2) I am more uncomfortable with the thought of him saying to me, "hey mommy, gimme some tittay".

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    Replies
    1. Tjswink10:20

      I just spit coffee out my nose. Thank you for this reply.

      Delete
    2. Best. Response. Ever.

      I literally cried from laughing at "hey mommy, gimme some tittay".

      Delete
    3. Anonymous11:49

      When we were trying to bf, my hubby was fond of pretending to have a conversation with our son. "Hey, kiddo, what'd you do today?" "Oh, I sucked on some titties and took a nap. Best day ever!".

      Delete
    4. Oh Lawd, if this comment doesn't make the weekly wrapup then there is no justice in this world! Too funny!

      Delete
    5. Denise12:20

      OMG this comment totally cracked me up!!! People at the airport are starting to stare...

      Delete
    6. Anonymous14:42

      Can't...stop....laughing.......

      Delete
  11. Anonymous09:59

    Once again, what goes through my head as I read your blog is, "Preach on, sister...Amen!"
    I couldn't agree more. And why yes, Time, I am mom enough, fuck you very much.

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  12. Rachel10:06

    I was anxiously waiting, hoping you would do a post on this and as usual you hit the nail on the head. I agree wholeheartedly with everything you had to say. Happy mothers day Jen!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Great mom wish list from the Boston Globe:

    http://www.boston.com/community/moms/blogs/24_hour_workday/2012/05/motherhood-mom-enough-advice.html?p1=Well_MostPop_Emailed1_HP:

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    Replies
    1. Jana14:18

      I loved the blurb on bullying: "Oh, and if he’s the bully? I hope he realizes that his mother, who once wore brown plastic glasses and read the phonebook on the school bus, will cause him more pain than a bully ever could."

      Delete
    2. That's a great article. Thanks for the link

      Delete
  14. Anonymous10:12

    That little boy looks sceered!

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  15. Thank you...everything I thought but didn't have time say because I'm at work and when I get home I'm gonna do crafts with my kids not let them suck on my boob!

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  16. As I said on another posting on this... It reminds me of that Desperate Housewives episode where the woman was still nursing her 5 year old because she could still eat anything - it was like having a treadmill strapped to her chest. I quit at teeth, but whatever... didn't need to see it on the front page of Time though. Screams desperate journalism if you ask me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One would think she could pump and get the same benefit without involving the kid, if that's the only reason.

      Personally, for me, the swollen engorged boobs if you didn't pump/feed OMGRIGHTNAO and being tethered to a pump/child every hour on the hour, wasn't worth being able to pig out on pizza and hamburgers.

      I'm all for letting each family decide what's best for their children. I don't even have a problem with this picture per se. I DO, however, have an issue with the headline. I am more a mom than she is (even if it's just girth-wise :)

      Delete
  17. jen, this time magazine shit goes hand in hand with the kansas legislation you wrote about the other day, and all the other nonsense people (read: men) are trying to turn against women and their right to choose how to live and be. i appreciate hearing the voice of another advocate who wants to support women in making their OWN choices. thank you so much!!

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  18. Anonymous10:14

    EXcellent!!!

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  19. JenGal10:17

    The money she made for posing for TIME will surely go towards the therapy her son will need in a few short years...

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    Replies
    1. Exactly my thoughts as well. I have no problem with breastfeeding or even doing it in public as long as you're modest about it, but having a picture like that on the front of a magazine is definitely inappropriate and can you imagine how the kids at school would be if they ever got a hold of this as he got older? How damaging can you be to your child? The title of the article definitely doesn't go with the picture. A real mom would never subject their child to the whole inappropriateness of that cover!!

      Delete
  20. As the sole parent of an 18 year old son... THANK YOU for your latest!! I did breast feed, why cause I thought it was the right thing to do and I was BROKE!! I was 20 and on my own!! You are right there is not book and we do the best with what we know how!! I would send my son anywhere and be proud of the young man he can be!! Things have been a challenge as of late, these last 4 weeks of HS well they are not easy!! But wait, I did do a good job cause at least he isn't Bin Laden!! Thanks for the giggle I needed it!!

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  21. Anonymous10:19

    I an LIVID over this. Hey Dr. Jackass Sears, how about this one to blow your bullshit attachment parenting theory right down the crapper. I adopted both of my girls when they were 3 and 6- they had spent most of their lives in orphanages and were removed from a mother who couldn't take care of them. I'm pretty sure she was more interested in getting high than breastfeeding (and I'm glad she didn't) Fast forward 5 years and they are both intelligent, well adjusted, well attached little girls- and neither one of them has been anywhere my exposed breast. It's simple Dr. Douchebag, basic needs and affection- that's what a kid need. Mothering is the job where you work to put yourself out of business. It ain't about keeping them attached, it's about turning them into healthy, viable adults......I...am...so..fucking...pissed.....
    Lisa S. NJ

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous10:49

      If your so fine with how your parenting style is working out why you so mad about differnt ways of parenting?

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    2. Hallelujah : ) Well said

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    3. First, take a chill pill. Dr. Sears isn't grading your parenting. He is offering a different look at it for those who WANT it.

      Second, no one is judging you and hope you aren't judging those who do not parent the way you do. I love all the differences in people, as long as we love what else matters? Maybe a little support to ALL moms, not just those that do it like you.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous11:29

      Oh no, I'm not judging how anyone parents any child- how YOU do it, is up to YOU...period. I'm all for it. What I have a problem with the message- about being Mom enough. And thanks for the suggestion for taking the chill pill, I felt much better after expressing my feelings....

      Delete
    5. Anonymous11:52

      Actually, Dr. Sears is grading the parenting of anyone who does not use his system.

      "Attachment parenting is a style of caring for your infant that brings out the best in the baby and the best in the parents."

      That's from his website. If his style brings out "the best," then all other styles are, by definition, inferior.

      Delete
    6. Beth14:16

      I don't mind Dr. Sears at all - in fact, I really like his books and I'm not an attachment parenting nut. I have 3 kids and all 3 I have done different approaches - whatever has worked for them. 1st - gtube, no booby. 2nd - nursed till he turned 2. 2nd - am finishing up at 8 months. Same for the family bed - some are in it, some aren't. And not always the same people. And throw in the cat too. I don't ever feel like he's judging me if I don't follow his methods to the tee. I do like that there are so many doctors who are offering up so many different approaches. You are guaranteed to find an approach that matches what feels right to you and validates your approach. Disregard the others - doesn't mean they're right or wrong. There is no right or wrong. Again - just try not to raise a sociopath!

      Delete
    7. Choice for parents is good-- even if they choose D.r Sears' method. What is bad is widespread promotion of a parenting method that returns women to the 1950s and earlier. You cannot attach and have a career in many cases... or girls night out... or much of an exercise routine. Most women don't want that life, but many are feeling pressured to adopt it due to media, "experts". and clearly too many men making key decisions. Too bad TIME didn't do a Mother's Day article on the plight of single moms and the scarcity of community resources to support them.

      Delete
    8. Anonymous21:00

      From what I understand, Dr. Sears did NOT invent attachment parenting. It's been around for a loooong time. Dr. Sears was only bright enough to give it a name and capitalize on it.

      Delete
  22. HA! I couldn't have said it better Jen! Thanks fo much for blogging about this cover. I think my kids have turned out great so far and neither were breastfed nor did I practice attachment parenting. Wonder how that preschooler is going to feel when he's 13 and that magazine cover resurfaces! Happy Mother's Day!

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    Replies
    1. My family and I were on the cover of Newsweek magazine in the late 80's. Several years later, someone came up to me in school and showed me the magazine they found in the library. I was a 5th grade celebrity for the day (the article was about Lyme Disease, unfortunately our whole family had it) b/c I was on the cover of a national magazine. Something tells me when this kiddo gets older and the cover resurfaces, he won't have the same rock start status with his friends. No judgement from me on attachment parenting, breastfeeding, etc. Just question the thought process and long term impact behind choosing to pose for the cover.

      Delete
  23. Anonymous10:22

    Okay--new to format--I'm Allison.

    First, Dr. Sears is actually pretty cool. I read his book..and on the first page you know what he says? "If it doesn't work for you, don't do it."
    I've never seen another parenting book with that saying. Go easy on him, Jen...he's not evil, just passionate.

    And yes, I breastfed...15 months, 2 years, 1 month (died), and 2.5 years. Yup, getting longer each time...and I slept with my kids...am I glad I have my boobs back? Yes. Am I glad to have my bed back? Yes. Am I sorry that I parent the way I do/did? No. It worked for us...and isn't that what parenting is about? Doing what works for your family...and telling the busybodies to go punch themselves in the throat. (I'm too lazy to punch anybody) I don't really care how other parents parent their kids...just leave me alone.

    Good blog though...like your style.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous10:44

      Thank you....

      Delete
    2. Thank you. I thought I was going to have to go dig out my Dr. Sears' books. He is a strong advocate for Moms doing what is healthy for their family, even if it ISN'T using his parenting style. I am all about building up Moms, not tearing them down. I am 40 and attachment parented from day 1 of my child rearing... I have 5 kids ages 17 to 5. I love how I parented, it was perfect for ME. How I did it may not be how you do it and that is ok. I love how all of you LOVE your kids. That is what we should rejoice in...

      Delete
    3. Anonymous11:56

      My biggest prob w/Dr. Sears isn't actually with him. When you read *his* writing, he's not so bad. But I do hate the way every baby magazine, book, and website trot him out and make it say like he is the end-all, be-all of pediatricians. They hardly ever get a countering point of view, and it gets very preachy about the 8th time you read it. So I think a lot of the Dr. Sears hate isn't towards HIM as it is the way his advice is bandied about constantly.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous13:42

      --Allison again.

      Oh...well, the baby magazine, book, website thing is a whole different situation. I can't stand them anymore, and throw away the "freebies" that sometimes come in the mail. I haven't read one yet that didn't give me some stupid thing to worry about or feel some sort of guilt.

      And depending on which magazine...it's all breastfeeding and organic love...or potty train your 6 week old, and start him on his job search. I've read a lot that disagree with Dr. Sears...especially on the shared sleeping.

      Basically, it boils down to growing a really thick skin when you become a mom. Realizing that it should be live and let live...but knowing that you have to really not care when some unthinking person butts into your personal business with useless "advice".

      Delete
  24. Anonymous10:23

    Go girl.happy mother's day to one of my favorite mommies

    ReplyDelete
  25. I'm just imagining this poor boy in middle school/high school/college/first job when his "friends" pull out this old issue and post it everywhere...all the attachment in the world ain't gonna fix THAT train wreck. Apparently, she isn't "mom" enough to protect her kid from a lifetime of ridicule. Idiot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10:29

      Sooooo right!

      Delete
    2. Anonymous10:45

      that is the first thing I thought of when I saw this magazine cover! As a teacher, I can tell you that this will be a train wreck for this kid later in life.

      Delete
    3. seeing as the trend is to nurse your baby longer (which is why this article exsists in the first place) hopefully by the time this boy reaches those ages, full term nursing will be the norm. I am still nursing my 2 year 1 month old daughter and it makes me sad to know that we are at the end of our nursing journey. I love nursing her, and to me she is still just a baby. she doesnt ask to nurse in public that much anymore (she isfar too busy for all that) but when she does, I oblige every time. when she is older, and can nurse her own children, we will see what effect my nursing her for a long time had on her.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous17:33

      actually she isn't a baby. You want her to be a baby. that's why you are breastfeeding her longer than necessary. It's a bonding thing for you. I know parents that practice this attachment parenting thing. In the old days I think it was referred to as "indulging". I have also seen these kids grow up into self centered little kids, rude and disrespectful. why? because they have been taught from a young age that THEIR needs are more important than other's. And their mothers need them to stay babies longer because they don't really want them to grow up. there is also a great deal of arrogance in this community of parents that is based on a belief that their methods produce truly caring and pure beings. eventually in a decade or so we will recognize this movement for what it is: yuppie self indulgence.

      Delete
    5. Anonymous21:10

      wow. yuppie self indulgence? I can tell that's not how you were raised. why such a hater? I feel sorry for you. and your kids. :(

      Delete
    6. Anonymous (@5:33PM)-- 2 above. YES! I wholeheartedly agree. I will likely see these 'babies' enter the workforce before the end of my career and that will be a train wreck!

      Delete
  26. So true. So, so true. Time Magazine clearly does not employ any women, at least not for this round, or they clearly would have been talked out of this ludicrous bait-and-switch type photo.

    Happy Mother's Day!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anonymous10:25

    Jen, You know what is even worse? I have a real life friend who is strikingly similar to this woman. Looks and all. It's a tad bit scary and borderline crazy. I'm all for supporting parents no matter their choices. However, those hardcore attachment parenting psychos can suck it!

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  28. Anonymous10:26

    I haven't seen of this cover or heard about it but looking at the photo I am repulsed. There is a certain point where BABIES get all they need from breast milk and it's time to move on. You don't see grown cows continuing to drink from their mother cow, do you? They drink when they are young and as you said, this is not a toddler. This is a child. PRESCHOOLER! I could only imagine what it would be like if my child were in class with this child. What would this mom bring when it's her turn for snack day?

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous12:04

      Um, THANK YOU!

      Delete
  29. Anonymous10:26

    We are under enough pressure in the world, I remember painfully pumping and crying because I dried up with my second child at 7 months. I was pumping every hour just to give her 2 more bottles a day for a few more weeks. We all need to mind our own business and take a deep breath and know that we are doing our best.

    I agree with Jen, for Times fathers day issue should be "deadbeat dads that don't pay child support"....Why do something like this right before mothers day?

    ReplyDelete
  30. Love this and I completely agree with your post. Did you see the bit on the Today show this morning? They had an "exclusive" with this woman. My husband and I watch the Today show most weekday mornings and discuss the importance of this "news" they shove at us. We bitched and moaned that whole segment. I rolled my eyes about 57 times. Dr. Sears and the CEO or something was there too from TIME. Along with the woman's kid. Man did he act an ass. I never breast fed, it didn't appeal to me. Surely i'd never want my tit hanging out in front of anyone let alone the entire country. As my always politically correct husband said while listening to the tripe "I just want to see the tit, not the kid suckling on the tit. " Ahhh...hahaha. Which in all honesty is prob every straight mans thought. Ugh, why is this NEWS.

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    Replies
    1. And did you see the 2 year old whose parents just had her IQ tested and admitted to MENSA? She jumped off the couch in the middle of the interview and yelled, "I NEED TO GO POO-POO!!!" LMAO!!!!

      Delete
  31. You got me... I drive a subaru and practice AP or maybe you would think I didn't since I was working out of the home for the first 3 years of my parenting experience. I honestly don't think Dr. Sears approves of the mommy wars and that was all on Time with the mommy enough crap. I am sad to see some of the comments here. It isn't about AP parents condemning non-AP parents. Some AP advocates do come off very extreme (I'm looking at you Blossom!) but a good bit of us own bassinets and bouncies as well. Dr. Sears approach is more a la carte one and he recognizes there are things that don't work for all families. Also my hair isn't that gray and I hope 33 isn't that old :) The people at Time didn't do any moms any favors and we can choose by not buying their rag.

    Everyone needs to chill out a bit and live and let live. Lay off the AP parents we didn't start this fight time did and we will leave you alone too.

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    Replies
    1. Perfect. I think extremes on anything is not good. I am an ap parent. It was perfect for MY family. I'm all about doing what works best for the family.... not what society thinks is best, what a religious organization thinks is best, what an author thinks is best... they don't live in my home. I agree with the needing to chill.

      Delete
  32. Jen, you ROCK! only a bunch of jackhole men would put this crap out there. And that kid looks like he is at least 5. When you can have an actual conversation with your kid, it is time to stop breastfeeding. Talk about screwing up your kids having them looking for the Boob Line in kindergarten.

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  33. Who the hell would let their kid do that on the cover of time. Ick. Can I punch them too for their stupidity on this?

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  34. This is all so ironic given how little support breast feeding is given in the US. I tried writing about this because the whole view of breasts in this country is crazy!

    www.momintwocultures.com/2011/07/cards-I-shouldnt-have-to-carry-really.html

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  35. I love it and agree!

    I'm mom enough in my mind, my kids mind, and my husband mind.

    Fuck you Time Magazine for trying to make me feel otherwise!

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  36. Anonymous10:53

    Thanks Time!! Way to make us Moms feel even crappier about ourselves... Just what we need! A super skinny model that obviously has time to go to the gym and still be an over achieving breast feeder at the same time!! When does she make her Benko Boxes, or plan over the top birthday parties, or move the damn Elf around? Is the kid attached to her while she is planning her schedule of piano lessons, karate, fencing, chess and Latin classes?
    And I hate feeling judged by people just because I couldn't breast feed, I tried the Ferber Method, and I allow my kid to play in the dirt. All in all, he turned out to be a loving, sweet tempered, polite little boy!

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  37. Anonymous10:56

    As a middle school teacher, I feel sorry for the poor kid on the cover. THis will come back to haunt him later on. He will be teased, bullied, and downright made fun of for this. For a mom who is doing what she thinks is best for her child, she didn't think of his future and the affect this will have on his social life later on.

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    Replies
    1. Not if her theory of attachment parenting extends to homeschooling and basically never letting him out of her sight.

      Delete
  38. Anonymous10:57

    My hubs' first comment when I told him about the cover? "Are they real and are they spectacular?". He didn't care a bit about the topic

    If my milk supply stayed up, I might still be nursing my 5 yr old just because the breastfeeding kept me skinny.

    I work in a public library where current mag issues are displayed cover out. I guarantee you the moms will be complaining about this one a lot more than the SI swimsuit issue.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Anonymous10:57

    I love Dr. Sears, I breastfed until his 4th birthday and we coslept and there's not a damn thing wrong with that. Also, I am not a gray headed hippie with saggy boobs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous20:36

      You breastfed Dr. Sears?

      Delete
    2. Anonymous23:12

      You breastfed Dr. Sears? hahaha

      Delete
  40. Anonymous10:59

    For me, I think the biggest issue was THE TITLE. Seriously, someone is questioning whether I am MOM ENOUGH?! I can live with other people's parenting choices. Just because I don't do it, doesn't mean I care what someone else does. I have a happy, well adjusted, bright first grader. I think I did something right (definitely NOT everything) and I AM mom enough. One of the women mentioned in the article is from Kansas City...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous16:07

      I totally agree with this! Am I mom enough... I put everything into being a mom!!y daughter is & always will be my first priority. I breastfed my daughter until she was almost 1 even though we had a multitude of problems getting it to work. Fast forward a year later, my 2 year old little girl is smart, happy, loving, sweet and beautiful so my husband & I must be doing something right ... I am mom enough!!!

      Delete
  41. Anonymous11:00

    If you get the Audience channel on DirecTV, there is an Australian mini-series called "The Slap" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1823011/) where Melissa George plays an attachment mother who still nurses her 4 or 5 year old. My wife and I were less creeped out by the story than by the fact that this young actor (who is not her son) is actually sucking on Melissa George's tits! WTF!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Anonymous11:01

    This was such a hot topic on my fb. I agree that she is exploiting her child. However I am also a strong supporter if ap parenting. I of course modified it and am not a fanatic ...I actually didn't realize that's what it was called I was just using common sense parenting. I am not old...just the opposite I was in my 20s when I had all three kids. I work full time and am not a particularly save the earth kind of person lol.....so while this pic is disturbing I don't think its hard to find moms that use this type of parenting

    ReplyDelete
  43. OK....so...where do you draw the line of this being sexual abuse?? Seriously.. A baby nurses so that they can SURVIVE....OBVIOUSLY this pre-schooler is able to eat food, so it is not a matter of survival...if you think that this child should drink breast milk (gasp) pump that shit and put a damn straw in the glass. Nasty. To me the picture looks like a Norman Rockwell magazine cover...something to laugh at. Gross, gross, gross, gross.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous12:28

      It is called child lead weaning. Some children want to continue to nurse; the mom allows it until the child/baby decides it is time to stop. The fact that this mother agreed to do this photo shoot is so disturbing. Poor kid will be haunted by this forever.

      Delete
  44. Anonymous11:07

    Happy Mother's Day to you too. I love your stuff, I swear if I could write it would sound just like what you write. But I have to say, I love my Subaru:p

    ReplyDelete
  45. Anonymous11:09

    As a mom who hasn't gotten over the fact that nursing was taken away from me and my first child TIME has infuriated me because, yes, assholes, I am mom enough. As a mom who DOES believe in self weaning and who is doing it for a second time I am pissed because that cover photo does NOT accurately depict what nursing a toddler is all about. Thanks for giving us a bad name, TIME. As the family member of women with substance abuse problems, I'm mad. Thanks TIME, for asking. Yes, they were mom enough to choose NOT to nurse.

    ReplyDelete
  46. The really sad thing is that the woman in this TIME cover photo actually wrote a fantastic blog post about breastfeeding that is so worth reading...

    http://www.blogher.com/what-breastfeeding-advocates-need-stop-saying

    But the controversial photo pretty much takes away from the very thoughtful blog post...

    ReplyDelete
  47. I understand that people will have different opinions on this issue, but please try and respect those differing opinions. Using words like "gross" and "disgusting" is uncalled for and hurtful. My daughter is almost 2 and she is still breastfeeding. I never thought that we were going to breastfeed this long and I definitely was not planning on doing the AP thing. And yet, here we are and that's what it has turned into. I am not an old woman with gray hair and saggy boobs. Quite the contrary and I know many other moms my age doing the same thing. I don't agree with TIME asking "Are You Mom Enough." It's uncalled for. We all have our own styles of parenting and we have to do what works best for us. I will say that there is no sexual abuse with extended breastfeeding. They want the milk. You can't force boobs on a toddler. Trust me. For my daughter and I, this has just been a great experience and it's a time for us to relax and bond. We read while she nurses and together we have read 60 of the top children's novels of all time. It's what you make of it. She feels safe and comfortable with me. She has developed a love of books that I have yet to see in any other children her age, and she is extremely happy. In no way is she an abused child.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. amen, sister :)

      Delete
    2. Anonymous16:00

      I agree with you completely..anyone relating this as gross or disgusting or to the extreme of abuse has their own issues. Nursing is about so much more than nutrition. As a working mom I valued the time that I nursed and made it work for us.

      Delete
    3. Heather09:39

      I think what is gross is that the woman chose to exploit her child in such a way. There will be repercussions for him as he grows up and finds himself ridiculed for being breastfed as a preschooler. I don't think any mom truly has her child's best interests at heart if she willingly does something that will so obviously create problems for her child in the future. As to extended breastfeeding, it's not for me. I'll breastfeed my son for as long as I'm comfortable with it (which for me, beyond a year is uncomfortable). That's not to say it's wrong or gross or whatever. To each his/her own. I think every parent should be able to parent in the style they see fit as long as they produce healthy, happy, well-adjusted socially functioning children. Like many other commentors, I just hope my child grows up to be all those things and not a sociopath.

      The tagline was done in poor taste. No one benefits from baiting non-AP parents and insinuating that they aren't enough while also insinuating that AP parents are the only ones who are 'enough' for their children.

      Not only that, but the cover ultimately did more to hurt breastfeeding than help. That is also sad to me seeing how breastmilk is the best thing for your child. This cover would overwhelmingly push people who are on the fence about breastfeeding to the 'no' side. That is just as much an outrage to me as the tagline. Let me add my disclaimer that I don't think you are a bad parent if you didn't or couldn't breastfeed, I just think that breastfeeding is the best nutritional choice for your baby.

      On another note, I loved reading and still do. I commend you for instilling a love to read in your child, no matter how you accomplished it. More kids need to be avid readers. Books are so much better on a rainy day than tv :)

      Delete
  48. Anonymous11:31

    TIME is smart.....they know how to sell more copies & get their name out there.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Anonymous11:42

    Wow, some of the comments on this one are just plain hateful and, frankly, make me sick. WHO CARES?!? Nobody is shoving one parenting style down the throat of anyone else. Some of the commenters are taking things way too personally. Nobody is telling you how to do your job as a mother. Judging other mother's for the way they choose to raise their kids is pretty disgusting.

    ReplyDelete
  50. I think that once a child can start potty training you should stop the "from the tap" nursing. If you are going to extended nurse, then pump that s$%t put it in a cup, and feed him that way. Once a child gets the awareness of their genitals that they get during potty training, it's a bit creepy. I have 2 boys and as soon as potty training started, they held on to their wee wee's ALL the time. I used to tell them that there wasn't a weinie theif in town, it wouldnt get stolen if they happened to let go.... How creepy would it be if they were nursing at the tap and holding themselves...

    I think my biggest issue with the whole thing isn't the photo... its the title "ARE YOU MOM ENOUGH". Who doesn't want to be mom enough... It asks a question in a way that MOST mothers are going to be automatically set up to fail.... Happy mother's day to you , you big failure!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous12:31

      My 6 month old just discovered his penis. Should I stop nursing him?

      Delete
    2. Anonymous16:02

      This comment is what is disgusting! Nursing is not creepy.....

      Delete
    3. I don't think nursing is CREEPY.. I think nursing a kid who potty trainable is creepy. I have 3 children all of whom were nursed for the majority of the first year of their life. I co slept. I nursed on demand. I used a sling. I did all the 'attachment' parenting stuff that everyone talks about.

      I think once a child is walking and potty training, and beginning to establish a self identity, they should be fed breast milk in a CUP. Not FROM THE TAP.

      Delete
    4. Lol, weenie thief.

      Delete
  51. At school today my son's class had a Mother's Day tea. The teacher read out reasons the kids said they love their mommies. My son said he loves me because I buy him toys. I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm Mom Enough.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Anonymous11:45

    A freakin men...IM so glad I chose to get reading material from JENNY MCCARTHY and passed on all the DR SEARS books as a mom to be. I prefer to laugh my way through life then be told I'm sub par.......

    SERI I'm disgusted at the fact I'm not considered mom enough because I dont have my effin 5 and 3 year old hangin off my tit, or because my kids have been sleeping in their own beds since 3mnths old. Everyone has the right to parent however they freaking choose but we should not be put down or made to feel bad if we don't do it the same way.. we should be bringing us as mothers up not bringing us down..

    Yes I breastfed both my kids and yes its a great thing to do if u choose to do it. But I'm sorry there is nothing normal about a kid in freaking pre-school asking for a drink from his momma's boob and if they are it sure as hell doesn't belong on a cover of a freaking magazine..

    I'm sorry once ure child graduates from the 0-18 mnth section of the store its time to let it go.. Just sayin... AND not for nothin in this day in age this pictue is going to come back and haunt that poor little boy.. He is destined for a lifetime of swirlies.....yaaa great job REAL MOM...

    ReplyDelete
  53. Kris11:54

    First of all, I love this blog. Just had to get that off my chest.

    Second of all, I don't give a rat's ass how someone else parents their kids as long as a) their kid doesn't physically or emotionally assault my kid and b) they're all happy about it. Attachment Parenting, Ferberizing, mommy forum fuhrers who've never met my kids but somehow know what's best for them, blah blah effing blah. LOVE YOUR DAMN KIDS AND TRY REALLY HARD EVERY DAY NOT TO SCREW THEM UP. That's all that matters. TIME magazine and their sensationalizing media ilk can go suck it.

    I gave birth twice via c-section. I wore my kids in a wrap because they were happy and cozy that way and it meant I could get a few things done while cuddling them. I put them in a crib for bed at 2 weeks old because they snorted so damn loudly next to me in a bassinet that none of us were sleeping. I breastfed them until a year and then we both decided they were done (I could tell it was time when I sat down to nurse them, they latched on, and instead of sucking decided to test the stretchability of my nipple like it was Silly Putty while grinning at me like a damned clown...cute and also painful). I work full-time as a teacher and leave them with someone I trust to care for them during the day. All of these practices make me a bad mother in someone's eyes. But I DON'T CARE and you know why? I love the snot out of those critters and would lay down in traffic for them without a moment's hesitation. So who has two thumbs and doesn't give a shit what TIME magazine says about being "mom enough"? THIS GIRL.

    I think TIME wants to sell some magazines. HEY EVERYBODY. DON'T GO BUY TIME MAGAZINE.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous05:52

      Yay kris!

      Delete
  54. Anonymous12:08

    Seriously, Jen, thank you for your post. I think it hit the nail on the head. I did not breastfeed my first and nor will I my second due to some medical reasons. I understand the benefits of it, and I advocate it for all who can. However, this cover is absolutely and ridiculously horrific. The tagline being about being Mom enough is absolutely horrible. What a disgrace to all women who are moms.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Dr. Sears is awesome. Everyone has to do what works best for their own family.
    I attachment parented my daughter to a degree. We did what worked for us. She was in our bed till 1 1/2. I nursed her till the day before she turned 4. At the time I weaned her, she was just nursing a little at night before sleeping. She did not seem like she was going to self wean and I had to have surgery. I wanted her adjusted to being without nursing prior to me being in the hospital.
    I did not nurse her in public after about she was 4 months old and she would not stay under the covering. I think it's great to nurse infants in public, but unacceptable to nurse a child old enough to get food/drink from eating and drinking.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Lisa12:16

    Did I breastfeed? Yes. Till she was 3? No. I find it a little creepy, but do I care what others do? No. I do agree that poor kids future will probably be hard. The kid on Nirvana's "Nevermind" album cover hates that his parents did that to him, and he was just a naked infant....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous15:11

      I just did a search on the baby from the Nevermind album, and I can't find a thing that indicates that guy hates that his parents did that. Without being able to find any place where he actually says that, I have to doubt it's true, because there are things that point to the contrary. He posed for photos at age 17 to recreate the album (wearing swim trunks). If he really hated it, why would he want to recreate it. Being the "Nirvana baby" also opened the door for him to work for Shepard Fairey.

      Despite the inaccurate statement about the "Nirvana baby", I agree with your point about the kid's future. This Time cover is entirely different than the Nirvana album. Being naked as a baby on what many arguably consider one of the best albums of all time is something that would impress other kids and make him a celebrity to them.

      It's not anywhere close to a picture of yourself breastfeeding at an age that is generally considered too old to do so. That is something kids would make fun of someone for.

      Some people have argued that it won't be embarrassing if AP parenting is common in the future. Even if say 5 years from now, that is common, it still won't have been common for his peers which have been raised at the same time as him -- right now, when it is not common. And there's no guarantee that it will become common. Betting on that happening to prevent her child from being tormented about this is a pretty big risk for that mom to take. It's one thing to choose a controversial parenting method. It's another to pose with your kid for the cover of a national magazine showing off that controversial method without any consideration of how it might affect the kid when they get older.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous15:19

      Oh, I guess I should add that even if the Nirvana album hadn't been successful (because obviously the kid's dad didn't know it would be when the photo was taken), there would still be a cool factor about being on any band's album cover. That Time cover is just fodder for ridicule.

      Delete
    3. Lisa08:10

      I had read an interview a few years back. And they mentioned it on the radio the other day on the anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death. My bad. Sorry there was not more solid info to provide you..... :/

      Delete
  57. Jen, there needs to be a PIWTPITT book of quotes or greatest hits, because your quotes are killing me! "She's like the Yeti of the attachment parenting world. " -- seriously, laughing out loud at that one.

    Whether you choose to breastfeed or not is a personal choice. People need to sit down and shut up. If you want to breastfeed, go right ahead. When you kid's feet are dragging on the floor as you hoist them up to your boob, you might want to consider some alternate methods of nourishment, but hey. . .you have to do what's right for you and your child.

    I don't attachment parent, I didn't breastfeed, I don't co-sleep. I make it up as I go along, taking pieces of parental wisdom from my own parents, my in-laws (I'm Mom enough to admit that), and other mom friends who are and have been parents longer than I have. There's no one right way except the way that works best for your family.

    ReplyDelete
  58. "Holy crap. It's arousing and disturbing all at the same time." - that's pretty much VERBATIM what I said when I first started nursing my baby. It freaked me out to hell and back that what had been used as sexual foreplay was now being used by an innocent newborn for nutrition.

    When my son was a month old I had my gall bladder removed and had to share a hospital room with a woman who was having a hysterectomy. We needed to share the use of the breast pump since she was still nursing her four-year-old and didn't want to stop despite the hysterectomy. That kid looked no younger than six when he came running into the room asking for his milky time. I wondered how that actually fit into his real life with school and such, but considering the family lived on a boat that they sailed all around with no permanent home I guess it didn't really. All I knew was that the choice was NOT for me, and good thing too - my marriage ended when my son was three and I can't imagine going into court to ask for sole custody because I had to nurse him twice a day.

    My only issue with this cover was the implication that women aren't good enough with whatever choices they make. I believe there are a lot of parents who make choices they claim are in the interests of the child but which really fulfill their own desires to be "needed" or seen as "good enough" but until we get far enough down the road for psychiatrists to analyze the lifetime impact of extreme attachment parenting, who am I to interfere?

    ReplyDelete
  59. Something about being old enough to wear camouflage cargo pants while breast-feeding says "This is wrong." On the cover of a magazine with international circulation? I hope they paid that woman well because that kid's going to have a Woody Allen-sized therapy bill in his future (not to mention the Mitt Romney-style bullying he'll get at school).

    ReplyDelete
  60. Anonymous12:32

    Ahh can we talk about all the therapy this fucking "toddler" is going to need being on the cover of a national magazine sucking his mothers boob. Seriously wtf and I did breast feed

    ReplyDelete
  61. I'm pretty sure that's actually the exact conversation they had at Time.

    ReplyDelete
  62. You hit the nail on the head. I cannot believe they actually used that title... talk about Mommy Guilt!!

    I am not opposed to "attachment parenting" IF it works for you... and you can employ some kind of common sense. It does not work for me. And I don't need some man (who very likely has rarely even seen a vagina) forcing more guilt on me than I already have. It's hard enough sometimes to leave my 3 and 4 year old at day care for 10 hours a day 5 days a week because we need the $200 a month I bring home after paying for their daycare.

    And when I was a SAHM, I was so maxed out by the end of the 'work' day that I NEEDED my own sleeping space for my sanity.

    ReplyDelete
  63. I knew last night that everyone would be blogging about this, but I still did, because there are just SO MANY things wrong with that cover, that I knew each rant would be unique. Yours was awesome, of course. Here's my take: http://somethingclever2point0.blogspot.com/2012/05/oh-screw-you-time-magazine.html

    ReplyDelete
  64. For the first time, I am disappointed in your attitude! I agree that the tag line and the image chosen were based on shock adverting and Time Magazine has the controversy that they were hoping for.

    Your comment
    " A young, hot, defiant woman who practices attachment parenting? I've never seen anything like her and my guess is it took you a long time to find her. She's like the Yeti of the attachment parenting world. " is what annoys me as there are many mothers that fit many descriptions for each style of parenting. You seem to believe that attachment parenting is only for Hippies. There are many beautiful women out there that practice attachment parenting, as well as many other styles.

    Attachment parenting is not for everyone, personally I do follow this, my son co-slept until 18months, my daughter is 9 months and co-sleeps. I nurse on demand, my children are happy and healthy; more importantly it is what works for us!

    Instead of coming across as jealous or appearances, maybe you should have focused on the tag line, which I totally agree is dreadful. Maybe instead of attacking a style of parenting that is popular for many, you should have acknowledged its not right for you! As long as each Mom is doing her best and what she feels is right for her family, well she is MOM ENOUGH!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not clear on how anything about Jen's post comes across as jealous. I don't see jealous in any of her posts(except for when we are talking about her longing for a Mobile Command Center Van). While I don't know her personally I feel confident in saying Jen does not ever come across as jealous of any of the topics of her blog.

      Delete
  65. She won't be so hot when that kid is 30 and still living at home.

    ReplyDelete
  66. My biggest problem with this cover is not the title, not the fact that she is nursing a 3 year old, but more the fact that the mom thought it was good parenting to have her and her son's picture taken for a magazine cover while he was supposedly nursing. Nursing is a time where a mother and child are able to bond. It doesn't happen while a child is standing on a chair nursing from a mother who doesn't even bother to look at her son. Not only that, eventually this child will most likely be hurt that his mother thought this was a good idea to publicly broadcast. That is not good parenting. I'm all for breastfeeding and am an advocate for breastfeeding in public as long as there is some modesty in it. Not everyone in the world needs to see you whip out your breast for your baby that needs to eat. Again this is supposed to be a bonding moment between parent and child not parent, child, and the whole world! The second problem I have and it's not even necessarily with the picture or the magazine or article but the conversations that people are having about it. People are advocating for breastfeeding as long as the child wants to. I remember when I was nursing my first son, we met a father who was so excited that I was nursing and he said that he thought it was great and healthy and that his wife was currently breastfeeding as well. I asked how old his child was fully expecting him to say anywhere in between the 1-3 year old range. The answer that he gave just floored my husband and I. 7 was the age that his daughter was. That means his daughter was either a 1st or 2nd grader, fully capable of eating a meal, drinking a glass of milk or juice for nourishment but chose after her meals at night to go over and lift her mom's shirt up and have her daily intake of milk. In my opinion, that's mentally damaging to a child in the society we live in. In Africa, it would be a totally different story because people there use breasts strictly for feeding but our society also sees them in a sexual manner and by that age, it just isn't healthy mentally. If I walked around all day in my house with my shirt off so that my children (ages 10, 8, 6) could nurse whenever they wished and it got out that I was doing that, I'm pretty sure I'd be hauled into jail for sexual abuse whether my kids wanted to nurse or not.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *standing ovation*

      Delete
    2. I'll agree with Kristie. Very well said.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous21:54

      Exactly!

      Delete
  67. Thanks so much for making me laugh, Jen. I am a mama who just sort of fell into attachment parenting (I never read books about it, or studied up on it as a way of life or anything... it just kind of happened)with my first baby. My daughter is now 18 months old and still loving the boob, still co-sleeping, etc. but MY attitude is not so gung-ho anymore.
    As much as I am proud of having breastfed my daughter for over a year, there have been many times where I wished we were less... attached. Like the nights she spends kicking me in the head with her strong little toddler feet, and then wants to follow that up with a marathon breastfeeding session.
    The problem is, once you have established these habits as a parenting method, it is very hard to break them. So I find myself wanting to wean my daughter and get her out of my bed, but I feel oh-so-guilty about doing so, having been so attached for so long.
    Now pregnant with my second baby, I am planning to apply some of the lessons I've learned through this child-rearing experience in raising my second baby. I now know more about my own limitations, and how I need to pay as much attention to my own needs as I do to those of my child.
    It is sometimes hard for me to have a sense of humor about this issue, but your column seriously made me smile. Thank you, thank you. And happy Mother's Day!

    ReplyDelete
  68. Loved your posting. I honestly think it should be a woman's choice. I breastfed mine until teeth I couldn't take that. The doc while telling me about the benefits understood that I was going to be the one missing a nipple and helped me choose correct formula.
    I honestly think she's a trooper she made it past the teeth thing and apparently still has nipples.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Amy Glines14:39

    I'm usually down with you, but in this case I see it a little different. The choice to breastfeed, until WHATEVER age is just one more choice women should be able to make with their bodies, without guilt, shame or government or society chiming in. And I think anything (even if it is juvenile and unlikely like this TIME cover) that gives national exposure to the fact that women can and should have total control over their choices is completely welcome in the national conversation right now.

    ReplyDelete
  70. I want to write more about this, but I am lazy. Here's my basic (rambling) opinion - breastfeeding is a good thing. That is what breasts are for. When I couldn't breastfeed my first born I got really angry at all the "breast is best" stuff and felt inferior. Then I had a 2nd who had no problems nursing, then a 3rd. It is a good thing and hello - cheap and easy!

    Also, Dr. Sears is good, too. I agree with the above posters who suggested that if you read his books, you'll see that. He doesn't tell people that if they don't do things "his way", that you are inferior - I think people's own insecurity causes that. It did with me.

    This article, the headline, the picture, the woman were completely inappropriate. Time did this to stir the pot, to give their (often boring) magazine some attention. It worked.

    This mother did it to get herself some attention. Age or not, who breastfeeds a kid like that? She is doing nothing positive for attachment parenting or breastfeeding by posing for that cover, that way. In my opinion, that is sad.

    Oh - and I breastfed for years and was so good at it, that people in public had no idea what I was doing - and I didn't cover my kid with a blanket. In most cases, you really have to be looking hard to catch a glimpse of a woman's breast while she is nursing. Celebrities show way more on a daily basis all over the covers of magazines.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous15:51

      "Age or not, who breastfeeds a kid like that? "

      Agreed! That is the one thing that is wrong with that picture!

      Delete
  71. Glenda14:52

    I love my little girl more than anything in this world. I want her to grow up to be a healthy, successful individual. I don't see how her spending her formative years being attached to me helps establish autonomy and self awarness. But then again, I don't wnat my 30 year old living with me because she believes that she is just one of my appendages and it is my responsibility to coddle her through life because she never had to do anything on her own. But that works for me and my family, to each their twisted own.

    ReplyDelete
  72. I havent read the article, but I prefer tot think of the cover as being totally sarcastic: like, we know that this is not what normal mothers look like when they are breast feeding but we want to show the ridiculousness of attachment parenting and how creepy it is to still be breast feeding your 4 year old. That can stand on a stool. And who wears cargo pants. And can pour his own milk. I think that the editors totally realized that if this is the definition of a good mother who is making sure her kids are properly attached then no one is "mom enough". They offer objective info in the body of the magazine, but use the cover to convey their true belief in the topic.
    Yes? No?
    I'm pretty sure they wanted to find the hottest mom who still breastfed her child, and they wanted to make sure that child was a boy. Because that makes it worse. That kid is never going to get over his need for boobs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous15:21

      "That kid is never going to get over his need for boobs."

      How is that unusual?

      Delete
    2. Sorry, I should have said "that kid is never going to get over his need for his mother's boobs. I pity his wife".

      Delete
  73. I've spent a good part of the last two days saying "FUCK YOU, TIME."

    Seriously. What the fucking fuck?

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  74. Soooo glad a friend of mine posted this on FB so I could find it. Amen.

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  75. I feel sorry for not only the idiot mother who allowed herself to be exploited like this, but also that innocent little boy who sadly, will never live this down. Someone, somewhere, later in life will remember this, and it will unleash a new world on this little boy. I can see it now, in 10 years, "Boy, 13 kills himself after being embarrassed and tormented after appearing on the cover of TIME, still breastfeeding at almost 4 years old" Get real people. This is insane. Not to mention, this "attachment parenting" can lead to horrible things. Being that I was an EMT, and have many other family members in the medical field, I know for a fact that most "SIDS" deaths are with babies who sleep with their parents. Not to mention, hello, what about that alone time with your spouse. What the hell, do you just get busy right beside the kids? Ugh. This is so sick, I could just go on for days.

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  76. Anonymous15:38

    I'm delighted to see so many people offended by this. It seems that the intended result was achieved. SERIOUSLY?!?!? This bothers you? If so, perhaps you should re-examine why. The Latch-Key kids raised by absentee, over-achieving, corporate parents too concerned with their status in the neighborhood are the same one's that feel too entitled to work. It's nearly impossible to find good help in the teen to early thirties demographic these days.
    Lose your attachment... lose your empathy.

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  77. At 3 my son caught a glimpse of the SI swimsuit issue. We hid it and he went out of his way to find it until it was thrown away. He'd hide in the corner and stare at it. He'd explain that he liked it because it made his penis straight. Good thing I weaned him at 1. Child lead weaning ? Um, who's in charge ?

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  78. Lisa15:49

    My 3.5 year old just weaned and I am a 34 year-old brunette who drives an Acura. And yes my boobs have seen better days and my family used parts of AP that worked for us and let the rest go. BUT- The point being the way you stereotyped was awful.

    "...most moms who subscribe to attachment parenting are older hippie moms with gray hair and saggy boobs and Subarus."

    YOU are doing the exact thing you go around "PUNCHING" everyone else for doing.

    The 'TIME' sucks part was true though.

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    1. Anonymous16:10

      Lol I just laughed because you pretty much described me...my three year old was very hard to wean...but hey we worked through it and he is just fine!

      Delete
    2. I agree! I know several young, hot moms who subscribe to various parenting styles that are classified "AP" because it works for them

      Delete
  79. Her blog is called "I'm Not the Babysitter." Though someone on another blog I read said it looks like it was taken down with all of the back lash. The title is because she was just soooo sick of everyone thinking she was the babysitter because there was just NO way a girl as young and sexy as her could possibly be a mother. *eye roll*

    Also, Time? Yeah, hi. Subscription.canceled. Only shit moms have time to sit down and read magazines. I now see that I was neglecting my children by taking time to myself to read. Whew. Dodged that bullet. Maybe I'll be Mom Enough now.

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  80. Nancy Ann16:13

    I have posted this response on FB and I will here too. My youngest son is three. He still nurses briefly at night. He is weaning. My husband and I made the conscious decision to BF our children mainly for health concerns. My husband is a very severe Type I diabetic and when I was pg with my oldest, I researched a lot on how to help our children lessen their chance at getting the disease. BF was on top. Not just BF for 6 months but for 2-3 years. The statistical support for it was hard to ignore and if it was something I could do to help keep them healthy, I'd do it. They've also never had cow's milk of any kind. It is shown the antibiotics and cow antibodies trigger type I diabetes. I BF my olfest until he was 1.5 years old. I was a flight attendant and pumped my milk, froze it, and it traveled all over the country with me. My oldest weaned himself. My youngest is weaning himself now at three. I don't regret it, I don't think it has anything to do with me being psychologically ill. Youngest had surgery at 2 and he would not eat a scrap of food. If not for BF, he would have been hospitalized. I know of many other women who nursed till three for various health related reasons. We never read any parenting style books prior to our children being born. Judging from what is being said, we are somewhat AP. We co slept until the kids were 1.5 years old. I still stand by that I don't like the picture, but I fully, 110% support BF until toddlers.

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    1. Anonymous20:17

      You make valid points. Sometimes, this is medically necessary. In this case of this twit, she sounds like just another OAM with attachment issues of her own.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous09:14

      No. . . the anger directed at her is your issue.

      Delete
  81. Right on! Great post. Poor kid is going to have a rough time living this down, thanks to his self aggrandizing mom.

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  82. Another classic blog post, Jen! Thanks for the laugh. And some of the comments are hilarious (the others need to chill). I have to admit that my first reaction to the photo was disturbing. But the more I thought about it, I agree that it is natural and that breastfeeding older children isn't necessarily disturbing - just the provocative photo of it was.

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  83. Anonymous17:01

    Great post.

    First of all, MR. Sears is going to talk to me about mothering?? RIGHT! Maybe when a baby comes out of his body he can talk about mothering.

    Second, (and the Mod Mom who posted above is right on) no one thought about how this kid's life will be affected from this STUPID grandstanding.

    Third, if some some random female (pedophile) posted this picture, she'd be arrested. Who the hell thinks this is natural? Even in the animal kingdom, breastfeeding stops once kids are able to chew!

    You want your kids to have breast milk? Great! Pump it out and put it in a glass...at home. Doing it in public is humiliating for the child and, believe it or not, most of us don't want to see it.

    I breastfed my child but, ALWAYS away from public view. I didn't want people watching me and I'm sure they didn't want to watch. If I had to go into a fitting room, I did it. If I had to go into the bathroom, I did it. And, I kept bottles with me if I didn't have an opportunity. I didn't whine about how the general population was oppressing me. "Poor me, poor me. I don't have enough reasons to whip out my boob. I have to invent them."

    What a freakin' idiot.

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  84. Anonymous17:05

    Told my husband about this blog and how mean some of the comments were. Why are woman so mean to other woman? Yes the picture is ridiculous and of course they used that picture to sell magazines. That is not what nursing a toddler looks like. Why though the need to put down the way others raise their children? Raising children is one of the hardest jobs you will ever have. Why make it harder on another mother by making her feel guilty about her choices? I guess we go from being mean to each other on the playground to high school drama to mommy wars.... When will the battles stop? I'm a closet nurser and never told anyone how long I nursed. I finally did tell someone the other day and was told to my face how gross that was. I get it, it's not for everyone but I don't go out of my way to make others feel bad for how they raise their children; shouldn't I get the same courtesy . Happy Mothers Day to every mother out their!

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    1. Nancy Ann17:14

      Bravo! I couldn't agree more! it wasn't until this picture was published that I told anyone outside of my immediate family that I still nursed my three year old. Fortunately, nobody has been mean to me. I am sorry that happened to you. There have been a lot of hateful and ignorant remarks about mothers who do extended breastfeeding. But that is on them, not me! Happy Mother's day to you too! :)

      Delete
    2. Anonymous20:22

      It's called cutting the cord. Try it sometime. Lest we read about you on a future 'helicopter parents' blog.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous08:31

      The comment above is just proving the point about how mean and petty these comments have gotten. It's really sad that any of you feel the need to put down complete strangers. How can any of you teach your children to respect someone else's viewpoint if you can't do it yourselves? Having a different opinion or view from someone else doesn't give anyone the right to be disrespectful . I guess some people make themselves feel better by making others feel bad.

      Delete
  85. Anonymous17:41

    I wasn't an AP parent myself, but I have a LOT of AP parent friends - who, by the way, are young, attractive and NOT hippies by any means - and I know they are just raising their kids in a way that seems natural to them. If I could go back in time I would emulate one or two of the typical AP styles a little more but those days are gone for me now. Incidentally, I don't think any of my AP friends plan to still be breastfeeding when their kids are 3-4.

    But as a mom I do find the overall article exploitative and, frankly, antagonistic to moms. Why start a war? We're all doing the best we can. Can moms should support other moms - not bash the way they sit fit to raise their kids. If we can't rely on support from each other then who can we get support from? Geez, lay off the ridicule, ladies!

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  86. Anonymous18:00

    Happy Mothers Day - This was one of the Best Things I have Read in a WHILE! Kudos To YOU!

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  87. Amen girl! That boy is probably gonna grow up with some issues! He's either gonna be totally boob obsessed or he's gonna be repulsed by them. Seriously!

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    1. Or perhaps he will have a respect for women and their breasts rather than objectifying them as the majority of Americans do. Maybe we should take a lesson from the rest of the world and realize that boobs are boobs and they don't always have to be sexual in nature.

      Delete
    2. You want to talk about the animal kingdom? Most mammals stop breastfeeding when their baby teeth fall out...that would be 5-6 years old for humans.
      In the animal kingdom by the way, animals are sexually active before their first birthday....now you can see how ignorant your comparison was.

      Delete
  88. ladybug53020:07

    I have never read your blog before...a friend posted this in a comment to my similar rants about the Time cover. I would like you to become my new best friend now, please.

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  89. I.Could.Not.Wait.To.Get.My.Child's.Mouth.OFFA.My.Tit. Just sayin,

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  90. Lisa Perry20:45

    Jen, I think you nailed it. They wanted a sensational cover and they got it. It also started the mommy wars all over again. Although most sensible people I know think the cover is stupid. Right at mother's day. Asshats.
    I have no problem with natural or attachment parenting. But it isn't a fucking competition. Why do we let these buttlicks do this to us?
    By the way, anyone who wants to tell me about mothering should be one or at least a woman. So, Dr. Sears, kiss my royal ass.
    And the poor kid in that picture IS going to need serious therapy some time in the future. I pride myself on ensuring the future of psychotherapy via my children, but even I wouldn't go that far. Yikes.

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  91. Anita20:47

    I heard a lactation consultant say on the news "ummmm it's not very safe for that boy to be standing on a stool while nursing" LMAO

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  92. nikkimc120:51

    F. U. Time magazine... I don't know which makes me more angry... this bull shit or the Kansas legislators! Jen, you rock!

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  93. I live in Asheville, NC, where Subarus and gray-haired, saggy-boobed moms of young children are legion. In fact, I am one of them--except I drive a pickup. You have a delicious way with the truth. Thanks for this.

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  94. OneOfTheHubs21:04

    I just read another excellent blog response to the TIME cover. I thought it was worth sharing here:

    http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2012/05/where-is-mommy-war-for-motherless-child.html

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  95. I realize in an ideal world the parents decide together on attachment parenting but...how in the world does this effect the parent's relationship? Can you imagine the conversation in bed?

    Mom to child: Okay, honey, let's give Daddy his turn!

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  96. This is exactly what Time wanted, to piss moms off. It made AP and extended nursers look like freaks. They chose that verbiage and that picture just for shock value.

    BTW, please the nursing=saggy boobs is wrong. It's hormones, age and gravity.
    I breastfed my 3 kids for a total of 80 months and yes, I AP...My boobs are totally fine, I color my gray hair and don't drive a Subaru. Get pissed at Time magazine, not at those who might parents differently from you.

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    Replies
    1. Cathy22:30

      Yes! thank you!

      Delete
  97. Anonymous21:31

    I am all for parents doing their own thing when it comes to their children but this woman says she was breastfeeding until age 6? I can't wrap my head around that at all, flashes me back to the park when my sons were younger and we were at the park where a mother sat down on a bench right across from us. She was there a few minutes before a young boy, he was 8 and I know this because he was in my friends sons class, ran up to her, yanked up her shirt, wipped out her boob, bent down, and went to town...your child is eating by himself, probably making his/her own sandwiches, getting a drink (obviously) and yet your still allowing him to breastfeed? I am all for you pumping it and feeding it to them but to allow a child get to those ages and still whip yours out whenever they want seems a little weird to me...just my opinion.

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    1. I have to say when I heard her say "6 years old" on the Today show I immediately did a double-take and looked over to the breakfast table where my child of that age, who reads whole picture books and thinks she is old enough to get her ears pierced, was sitting and eating a peanut butter waffle. SIX?!!!

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  98. Tina21:37

    I am 34 and childless. When I was six years old I was at the neighbors house watching Sesame Street with the neighbors kids, aged six and 5. I heard the boy say Mom I want a snack and when I went to say I wanted one to I saw both the boy and girl nursing. I ran home screaming for my mother ( crossing the street, when I wasn't allowed to) my mom had to explain to me what breast feeding was and that it was normally for babies not big kids. We later found out that the 13 year old still breast fed as well. Needless to say we were no longer allowed to go over there. I think there is a fine line between parenting choice and child abuse. I think there are many options for parents today and you must do what is best for you and your child but really when nursing a child that can pick his meal off a menu it really might be time to hang the boob up.

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  99. Thanks Jen, glad I am not alone in the world. :-) and I agree.

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  100. In short, I dislike the extreme mommy wars. New motherhood is like climbing Mt. Everest. If you and the baby survive, nobody has a right to judge what equipment you used.

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  101. Anonymous21:45

    My 11 year old "Is he special needs?" No, I say, "Then why the heck doesn't he just use a cup?" EXACTLY.
    Hey boobs are meant to feed our young. Back in the day, they nursed longer as a necessity.But now we have vitamins. People need to learn to let go.

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  102. I want to BF up to 12months, for health reasons... hoping I can beef up my baby's immune system from having MS like her mother!

    Co-sleep, NO WAY... I don't carry my baby around like a mommy gorilla, and I let that kid CRY IT OUT,

    selfish-no... realistic -HELL YES!

    I am a Breast Feeding momma, but don't lump me in with the crunchy granola packing BFers!!! I am just doing my best to give the best to my baby.

    I have to say, my Tits are pretty damn perky still so all that saggy crap is bull.

    I totally agree that this cover is way over the top, but they clearly are getting what they wanted! as the entire WWW can't stop talking about it, myself included. That kid is going to get so many wedgies in school, there is your article!!

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  103. Cathy22:19

    So much hatred...women against women...mothers against mothers...Do we really hate ourselves that much that we have to attack others because their way of parenting, their way of *being* is different to ours?

    Thankfully there's a lot of common sense in these comments too, parents who understand that what works for one, doesn't work for others.

    For those who are attacking BFing, the woman in the picture, attachment parenting, and anything else you care to attack, please try to live and let live, for your own emotional health. Otherwise you're no better than the "others" you assume are judging you.

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  104. Anonymous22:21

    I nursed both of my girls for a year. My cousin's daughter was 3 at the time my oldest was born. My cousin was still breast feeding her daughter. When her daughter came in the room and asked for a "booby snack" I knew I would never take it that far.

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  105. I don't even know what to say. I have so much to say that I can't coherently type it out. I'll start by say that the cover makes me want to vomit. Yes! Vomit, throw up, barf! I nursed all three of my kids...the longest being about 4 months. They were not satisfied or happy so I stopped. I said yesterday on news link about this that there comes a time to stop. I feel like it must be a mental disorder on the mothers part to continue to nurse a child old enough to dress itself, feed itself, wipe its own ass, brush its own teeth and carry on a conversation. My daughter just turned 4. I look at her and how indepent she is (she's always been), how bright and smart she is and I CAN NOT imagine still having her come to me to nurse. To suck milk out of my nipple...at 4 years old. I would feel ashamed and dirty. Obviously if your child grows up never hearing the word no, always getting what it wants, and knowing that it's mother will drop anything and everything for him/her, he/she will NEVER wean itself! Someone wrote yesterday on that news site that a child will self wean between 3 and 7! SEVEN! That's first grade...maybe second. That's sick and twisted!

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  106. I was appalled by the cover and I immediately thought of you after our conversation yesterday morning! Thank you for expressing my thoughts perfectly. Wrong on so many levels.

    BTW, the comments you get totally crack me up! Great job on this one!

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  107. Jen your best: "Yeah, I'm mom enough. I don't need to put on my fabulous skinny jeans and whip out my itty bitty titty to feed my preschooler"...Seriously when I was gawking at her I thought 'a Capri Sun holds more liquid'. Thanks for being our Voice!

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  108. I breast fed all FIVE of my babies. I only lasted a year because I felt like if I had gone any longer I would hear one of them calling me "here titty, titty, titty!". "where are you my titty, titty?"

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  109. Fuck, If I breastfed that long, when would I have the time to drink?

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  110. Anonymous00:44

    I couldn't WAIT to hear what you had to say about this!! Nipped it in the bud! Ha! I said "nipped"! THANK YOU!!!

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  111. Anonymous01:35

    I just don't understand why so many of these comments have to be so mean. I breastfed my daughters until 2 1/2. They are now teenagers, well adjusted, secure, and not "self-centered, self-indulgent"as someone posted. They are both straight A students, btw :) My husband and I are raising them to be loving, open minded, and caring young women. How ever they want to parent, or not choose motherhood, is completely up to them. And we will fully support them in their decisions. All the while refraining from "helicopter parenting". Live and let live people :) ~Jill

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  112. Happy Mother's Day Jen. I was waiting for you to weigh in on this. I live in the UK (American abroad)- and this is not even the issue we have. I'm disgusted that the US regularly put in "fluff" pieces while the rest of the world TIME address real real world issues.

    This is such a hostile photograph just seeking a blow-up. She looks like a drive thru window attendant with an attitude problem. Who feeds their kid like that? Not the nurturing bond I imagine when I think of an AP parent.

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  113. I wouldn't need to use the chair....

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  114. while i do not agree with the principles of attachment parenting, i KNOW that not everyone agrees with my principle of NAZI parenting. and that is OK. i do not need anyone's approval and i applaud the mother on the cover for standing up for her beliefs. of course she knew what this was going to cause.......but i think EVERYONE can take this for an opportunity to learn and decide what is right for them. I think we can also take this as a learning moment for our older children about tolerance and respect for other people's right to make choices for their family. While I do not agree with Dr. Sears and how he communicates his message, i respect the research he has conducted on this method and the over riding theme of providing a loving, caring, and secure environment in which to raise your children. this is just another way in which to do it and i do not think because i did not subscribe to his ideology that i am FAILING at providing that for my children.

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  115. comment compliments of my husband....when your kid says, "hey mom, put on something sexy, I'll be home for lunch," maybe you need to make a change.

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  116. People!! There comes a point when breast-feeding goes beyond nutritional and nurturing. I nursed for slightly over 18 months and was MOM enough to find new, healthy and more supportive ways to feed, caress, encourage and nurture my sweet child. Today, she's almost 25-years-old and we still have a strong, loving bond.

    When I see mothers breastfeeding a child 3 years or older, a lot of questions run through my mind:
    * Who is she really doing that for?
    * Wonder how many other issues that kid will have?
    * Does the mom have food stamp issues?
    * Is that mom passing on her attention-seeking issues to her child?

    What would I want to tell these moms? "Your relationship with your child will always evolve and grow. So be mom enough and start growing!"

    P.S. Sadly, with the way our society monetizes everything, this will probably turn up on t-shirts all over the place. Got milk?

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  117. Jen & others- you need to lay off the attachment parenting. All this latest post does is pit moms who are doing their best (breast-fed) vs. moms who are doing their best (formula-fed). In fact, in criticizing other moms for their choices you are all representing the whole mentality that feed OAMs and DDs-- that parenting is a competition in which there is one way to do things. Call it fascist parenting. Own your hypocrisy babes.

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  118. Anonymous09:41

    AMEN!!!

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