Rep. Todd Akin

I live in the fucking armpit of America where I am surrounded by people who continually vote ignoramuses into political office.

Have you heard about Congressman Todd Akin from Missouri yet?  My neighbors across the border in Missouri have a congressman who sits on the House Committee of Science, Space and Technology who thinks that if a woman suffers a "legitimate rape, the female body has ways to...shut that whole thing down."  

Yes, Missouri has elected the village idiot to Congress and now he's running for Senate.

Rep. Todd Akin - Science Enthusiast
If it wasn't so scary I'd laugh.  The man sits on the House Committee of SCIENCE, Space and Technology and he thinks that I just need to tell those rapey sperm to get away from my eggs.  Is that what science has taught him???  He also probably learned in his "science" class that there were dinosaurs on Noah's Ark.

And don't even get me started on what qualifies as a "legitimate" rape.  I didn't realize there was a legitimate rape.  "You were asking for it, slut.  That's why your body didn't shut that whole thing down.  Nope, wasn't a legitimate rape - abortion denied."  

Why is this guy even on the ballot?  This asshat thinks the female wonderland knows when it has been raped and will shut down the tubes and prevent unwanted pregnancies.  This guy might win the dumb ass award for the year.  With all the other idiots in office, that is some feat. 

Who votes for people like Akin?  Who looks at his voting record  (a mix of cuts to education, parks and embryonic stem cell research along with a healthy dose of support for concealed weapons) and thinks, "Yup, this is the guy for me!"

I'm sure there are some smart, educated people who vote for Akin, but it makes me feel better to imagine his supporters as toothless mouth breathers who say things like, "I hate smart kids, education is for the weak.  I quit school in 6th grade and I turned out just fine!  Parks suck.  Only perverts and gays hang out in parks.  I don't want my tax dollars supporting that kind of sin.  Embry...what???  What the hell science fiction is that?  You can pry my 9 mm from my cold, dead hand, my 2000 44 Special Bulldog from my front right pants pocket and my Star PD 45 ACP from my shoulder holster - all lethal, legal and necessary for one's safety."

I take it back.  I can't imagine there are any smart, educated people who are voting for this guy and his ilk.  There can't be.  How could they?  What has happened to our country?  How do these guys keep getting elected?

America should be ashamed of itself.  The voters in America continue to put whiners, freaksbuffoons, bigots, and all around assholes into office.

Akin has since said that he misspoke.  Of course he misspoke, but the thing is, I don't believe him.  I think that when he went to that interview and he said a "legitimate rape" can be countered by a woman's body he really meant it.  He believed in that "science."  Ha.  My second grader knows more about the biology of a woman's reproductive system than Akin does.

No, if he "misspoke" he would have instantly realized the nonsense that had vomited from his mouth and he would have quickly corrected himself right then, "Whoops!  Wait, what did I say?  Of course I didn't mean that.  That's not physically possible.  HOWEVER, what I meant to say was I think abortion is wrong in any instance.  If a woman is raped and she becomes pregnant as a result, I'm sorry to hear that.  But her right to choose an abortion should be denied because the rights of the unborn child are greater.  True, I haven't voted to support education for this child or parks for this child to play in.  True, I've made it easier to conceal weapons in the state this child will be raised in and this could result in the child one day being accidentally shot.  But none of that matters.  What matters is that this woman got herself in a pickle and now she's going to have to raise that pickle."

I don't care if you are pro-life or pro-choice.  That is not the issue here.  The issue is that we have a dolt in office and he is running for the Senate.  I don't care if you are Republican or Democrat, you should go out and vote.  Just don't vote for twits that think "legitimate rape" actually exists.

If you don't agree with my politics and you want to say so, fine.  Just make sure you say it respectfully. 

BE RESPECTFUL TO ONE ANOTHER IN THE COMMENTS SECTION.  YOUR FIGHT IS NOT WITH EACH OTHER.  It may seem hypocritical for me to rant and rave and then say you can't rant and rave.  I'm saying this, because I wrote this piece and I'm prepared to take criticism, but the people who comment here are not in a position to be attacked, they're just commenting and they didn't ask for a fight.  If you want to fight, go start your own blog.


177 comments:

Rena said...

Oh, I was SO waiting for your throatpunch on this guy.

Starr said...

And then we have Rep. Yoder (Kansas) skinny dipping in Israel on an official trip.

Kathryn said...

Bravo!!!

Becky said...

Amen sister.

Anonymous said...

I completely agree! How can he value life when he doesn't seem to support it?

Gwendolyn Cease said...

Yes!!! Thank you, Jen! You said everything that I have been thinking. And I totally agree with you, he didn't misspeak, he meant what he said. But he didn't mean for intelligent people to hear it since they would figure out what a fucktard he is. *taking a deep breath* Yep I feel better now.

mugglemom said...

couldn't have said that better!

Anonymous said...

I like your thinking, Jen. Thanks

Steph said...

How someone could think that let alone SAY it out loud is unbelievable. It scares me to see who gets elected these days, it can't be just the idiots voting. Maybe voting day should be a holiday from now on (adult holiday, kids still in school) so that all the Mom's, professionals and just all around hard-working people can have the opportunity to vote. Clearly the bums on the street corners are not making the best decisions.....

Anonymous said...

Ah, I've been posting this myself since I saw it and can't believe that this dude has been elected for SIX terms! We have a whole lot of members of Congress that need to be voted out this is just the tip of the iceberg. There has been a War on Women (that they don't admit to because they are not women) for this entire 112th Congress. If you are not registered to vote, do so and don't allow any one this ignorant to be on your ballot, I don't care the party affiliation.

Anonymous said...

I was waiting for you to write something about this guy. Excellent!! I can't believe anyone would vote for him. It's beyond crazy!! What a jerk for not correcting himself immediately for that comment. And apologizing the day after, doesn't make it okay.

Sherri Spichiger said...

WTF? Did this guy get sucked into a time warp from the Victorian Era and end up in the 21st freaking century or something? Because that's along the lines of what they used to believe back then: that if a woman got pregnant after being raped she must have enjoyed it, because accepted medical wisdom stated that the female had to achieve orgasm in order to become pregnant. I think this guy needs a double throat punch. And maybe a groin punch or two as well.

zeebling said...

I'm sending money to Claire McCaskill. People this stupid should not be allowed in Congress. Seriously. There should be a test, and it should be harder than getting more idiots to check the box next to your name.

megan said...

I hate his answer more. Like "I misspoke, so we're good now right?" No explanation about how that mysogynistic hatred fell out of his mouth. At least give an excuse! Drugs, booze, you were mad at your wife? How do you say something you don't believe on national TV? Oh, you don't. He didn't mispeak, he's just sorry everyone is mad.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and I love that he tried to salvage the situation with "I was speaking off the cuff." Really asshole? I'm glad you took the subject of rape so seriously.

This Is Fifty With Lil said...

Then, that guy needs to come here and explain to me why the fuck I am here! Pissed beyond words.

Anonymous said...

Bravo! You said this with more eloquence than I could have!
True, I haven't voted to support education for this child or parks for this child to play in. True, I've made it easier to conceal weapons in the state this child will be raised in and this could result in the child one day being accidentally shot. But none of that matters. What matters is that this woman got herself in a pickle and now she's going to have to raise that pickle.
Thank you!
Shannon :)

Julie said...

First thought this morning was I can't wait till Jen's post! So very true, he's a moron!

Anonymous said...

What a flipping moron. "Legitimate rape", my ass. It apparently doesnt take high standards to be in any sort of office these days

Unknown said...

Uh, I thought we were in 2012, not 1955....

Beth R. said...

I agree with everything you say. I have been saying this to those who are fighting over Romney and Obama. It's not about them, it's really about who is representing us in Congress. It's about those who don't hold the same values as their constituents. They have lost sight of their place in government and are only looking out for their own beliefs and their own values. Not those that live in the district they represent. The most important thing is to vote and have an educated vote. That means doing your own research on issues that mean the most to you. Who supports it and who doesn't? And you are right, if he misspoke- he would have corrected himself immediately. He just said what he was thinking and now has to pay for that. I am hoping that his own party sees how egregious this is and turns their backs on him. We are in a world of hurt if he's just a fraction of what is representing our Country. I can only hope that someone I love is never a victim of a "legitimate" or a "false" rape.. or he will have me to answer to and he won't appreciate it at all!

Anonymous said...

Amen! I fear for our country and my children with idiots like this is government. Keep up the good work Jen!

Tracy said...

The other comment made about abortion be legal if it's been a forceable rape. Um, hello? It wouldn't be rape if it wasn't forceable not would it.

Anonymous said...

I love you, Jen! I'm so glad you can verbalized what I am thinking!

cmsusouthpaw said...

I would have bet 100 pairs of Crocs and cargo pants that this post was coming sometime soon!

Sara said...

I think I love you! Very well written.

Caro said...

sadly. Beth, I think he DOES hold the same values as his constituents- after all, they elected him SIX TIMES. Has he gotten stupider over the years? - Well, maybe.

I am so depressed that I live in the same state!!

Jen said...

I don't buy his "misspoke" nonsense for a moment. People say what they mean. When they say they "misspoke" it's only because they had it pointed out to them that what they meant caused a lot of people to be really pissed off.

Ditto to what you said, Beth R., that the Senators and Congresspeople are who we need to watch. The ones that have been around for a long time often become very out of step with their constituents - regardless of party affiliation.

JT1222 said...

I haven't actually read your blog on this yet, but I have to say after hearing on the news what this guy said, he really does deserve a punch in the throat and one in the nads. I think rape victims should be allowed to line up and take turns.

Corey said...

Great punch. He deserves it.

RedRaven said...

It's people like Akin and his supporters who make me wish I could escape to another solar system. What a friggin' moron.

Mandy said...

This tool definitely needs a punch in the throat (and elsewhere...). Misspoke my ass. His "handlers" had to beg him to say that he misspoke. Who the hell does he think he is?? It's the most ridiculous thing I've heard in a long time with absolutely no scientific basis or support. By that logic, one could argue that it's just as plausible that the rapist's body could also govern whether or not a woman gets pregnant as a result of a rape. Dipshitiot.

This is a guy you look at and say to yourself, "Really? YOU'RE the sperm that won?"

Missy Smith said...

SO, if a woman can "shut down the body parts she wants" on a whim......does that mean that the rape really WASN'T a rape and she "WANTED IT" if she got pregnant?? I think I might have got this word from you long ago...what a "fucktard". How stupid can one person be??? Seriously? I know us women are good, but we can just shut down our body when we want? Holy shit.....we all need capes since we have these super powers!

Unknown said...

Another reason why there should be sex education in schools.

And who are these "doctors" he consulted about this? Witchdoctors?

Julia said...

This was stunning to me, though by now I shouldn't even blink when elected officials attack everything female. I've said before and I will say it again, congress, keep your politics out of my vagina! This guy defies asshat to a level of stupidity that is indescribable. Thanks for the punch Jen, I only wish I could deliver a "legitimate" punch to his stones and watch his body "shut it down".

Unknown said...

I was SO hoping you would give him a punch! He didn't misspeak, he spoke his true thoughts on something that he obviously misunderstands, and then later retracted the statement once someone told him what an idiot he was to voice those thoughts out loud. The worst part is that this is a man who actually has some say in changing women's health policy. The Earth is doomed.

Julia said...

Hahaha- your the sperm that won- may laugh all day about that!

Mitzie said...

Agree 100% with this whole rant aside from the gun control blip...voting against the 2nd amendment provides a false sense of security that your child will not "accidentally" get shot. Teach your children that guns are not toys. Teach them to get an adult IMMEDIATELY if they see someone playing with a gun or if someone wants to show them a gun without you there. Teach them these things even if you do not have guns in your house as a friend, aunt, or acquaintance might have firearms. Honest, responsible Americans should not be denied the right to bear arms because some ass hat is irresponsible, because in order for those laws to keep your kids safe, you are assuming those ass hats are going to follow the law.

Reza said...

SERIOUSLY! HOW do these jerks get elected? Do they require lobotomies to get on any ballot of consequence? ...you know from PTA board on up!

Anonymous said...

This idiot must be thinking of Vaginismus and has taken it upon himself to decide that that condition can be spontaneous and voluntary. It isn't.
Only a man who knows very little about women and about biology would put the two things together and come up with an idea that we can close our vaginas like a trap door and seal them shut. Moron.
That particular condition is psychologically caused for the most part and has nothing to do with rape. It has more to do with fear of sexual intimacy; NOT RAPE.
Women in the USA have to mobilize yourselves and make sure your rights don't disappear. VOTE and get idiots like this out of congress.

JT1222 said...

Very well said Jen. And I agree - he did NOT in anyway misspeak, his spin doctors (and that of his party) are just doing damage control in an election year.

Anonymous said...

You nailed it, Jen! I'll just leave it at that, because my comment would easily exceed the length of your post!
Janet

Ashley said...

What a serious ass hat. I've been watching Twitter explode around this disaster, and it scares me that there's even a small number of people who think he's right.

DAWN CARAFENO said...

I was absolutely FLOORED when I first heard/saw this asspimple's comments. FLOORED. STUNNED. I did post on my FB about it - a message to all my fellow Missourians. I simply said and believe that if this douchecanoe receives more than 100 votes statewide, that's reason enough for me to leave this state. I've heard/seen people calling him ignorant, etc. But I feel that's giving him too much of a pass. Ignorance is bliss, and ignorance is forgivable. This dicksmack is a dangerous D.A.N.G.E.R.O.U.S. mysogonistic piece of shit. His face and his voice and his existence makes me want to take his wife, Lulli, turn her skin inside out and wash her with bleach, because I'm certain she has at least once or twice, had sex with this maggot. And that makes my skin crawl. OMFG, I'm seriously SEETHING at the knowledge that he has risen to the ranks he has in politics and in life. The cancer that is Todd Akin should have been treated and eradicated long, long ago.

Timing is everything. Though I have five children who have never lived anywhere except Missouri, two of whom are in high school and very active in so many things, recent events have brought my husband and me to a crossroads on whether we should stay in Missouri or move back to his native Connecticut. I've been teetering because of my children and all that they would have to deal with were we to uproot them to another state at this point in their lives. However, when my husband, who had not seen Akin's comments, asked me last night if I was okay with his inquiring about some opportunities in Connecticut with some business owners he still knows there, I almost shrieked my emphatic "DO IT!! DO IT NOW!"

Witty Woman said...

He's a dipshitidiot!! And the folks that continually vote for him are dipshitidiots as well! Just because this ass pirate wound up in office, it doesn't mean he deserves to be!! Blame the dipshitidiots who put him in office!!

Anonymous said...

I think the People of WalMart keep voting for him. It's the only explanation.

Jamie said...

I agree he is an asshat although I also believe in the right to conceal carry. I believe I have the right to protect myself and my children. I will therefore educate my children on gun safety. It scares me to think people really want a nation that only the government and the criminals have weapons.

Jenn Nan said...

What a jackhole.

Jamie said...

AMEN!!!

Sarah said...

If I had only known that I could stop a pregnancy whenever I wanted using my uterus's intuition, I wouldn't have wasted all that money on birth control over the years!

Idiot of the most dangerous sort.

Marian said...

I would prefer the skinny dipper to this guy.

Julie said...

Right on!

Unknown said...

*facepalm* I read a couple of articles on this yesterday and I still can't figure out how anyone can be so willfully fucking stupid.

In regards to how he keeps getting elected: The majority of voters do not follow the voting record of their representative. They see a liitle D or a liitle R and make their choice. Also, if he hasn't said anything this fucking ignorant before now his constituents probably had no idea he is such a moron.

Jen, I'd love to see a throat punch to Tony Perkins.

My own thoughts on elections can be found here: http://www.versatilebookreviews.blogspot.com/2012/08/smells-like-election-year.html?m=1

Abby said...

I wrote Rep. Akin a little letter to get more of his ideas on stuff. I will be sure to let you know if he explains any further dimensions of his asshat-ness. http://abbysleftovers.blogspot.com/2012/08/science-space-and-technology.html

Jen Piwtpitt said...

I actually agree with the 2nd Amendment, but I'm really torn on concealed weapons laws. Do we live in such a dangerous country where people need to be packing 3 guns at a time? I got that quote from a conservative message board where a gentleman said he carries all 3 of those weapons on his body at all times whether he's hitting the grocery store or ball fields with his son's Little League team. That makes me uncomfortable.

Fata Morgana said...

I'm fairly certain that if he were raped, he would have a very different view of the 'shutting down' process.

Anonymous said...

Me too! I was so angry when I heard about this moron and waited all morning for Jen's blog. Right on target!

Anonymous said...

Bravo!!! Jen, you need to run for office!

Anonymous said...

I have always wondered where illegitimate children come from. Now I know, they come from illegitimate rape! And legit kids come from legit rape. So glad this guys cleared that up for me!
...nice punch

Sue said...

What I want to know is where are the Republicans who are repudiating his statement? They're all saying, "oh, we disagree on his stance that abortion should not be available to rape victims," but no-one from the GOP seems to be coming out and calling this guy an out-and-out moron who has no understanding of scientific fact. It's pathetic that we've gotten to the point where an entire political party doesn't have the balls to call out one of its members who makes such a stupid and dangerous statement. Are they that afraid of antagonizing the lunatic fringe?

Rachael said...

Jen + idiots in office = funny

Anonymous said...

I think any woman who votes for this piece of shit should have to turn in her vagina.

Brooke said...

I just wanted to chime in with the irony that the ad running below your post in my reader was for gun holsters and pistols.

Rachael said...

Jen + idiots in office = funny

BadParentingMoments said...

I think anyone that allows a statement like "legitimate rape" to exit his poorly constructed mouth hole should automatically be removed from holding any position of power. I'm not surprised by his lack of knowledge of the female anatomy as clearly he wore a bag over his head through school. I hate to point out the obvious, but, why are the rights of the unborn fetus of such HUGE concern, but, once the child is born, it is no longer his concern. I'm sure he's not a proponent of foodstamps to help feed that child, education expenses to help educate that child or social programs to help the mother or her child come to terms with having a child she did not want or being a child born of rape. The life is precious argument can only be truly believable if Life is treated just as preciously inside and OUTSIDE of the womb. Great post.

spymay said...

The majority of people who have permits to carry are very responsible and only have one weapon on their person.I know that in my state, you have to take intensive training to get your permit and then there are strict rules to follow.
My elderly parents have their permits to carry-my mom only carries her gun when she visits her rental properties.
Not everyone is armed to the teeth-that guy sounds like he also has a bunker somewhere too.

spymay said...

I was hoping you'd throat punch this guy.
When I heard what he said I thought,"Well you are a legitimate idiot,but that didn't shut down your mouth so it kept you from saying such a piece of moronic crap."Geez,isn't there somewhere we can put all these morons where we don't have to deal with them anymore??

Mitzie said...

Thank you Jamie! You said it better than I was able to above. While Jen is justified in her concerns about gun toting loonies bringing three weapons to Little League Games, this type of individual is the minority. Limiting the rights of the majority to "protect against" the crazies is not going to solve the problem.

Haven said...

Cheers. This guy is a disgrace.

Anonymous said...

Jen - thank you for so eloquently stating the obvious for all of us. The man is a total ass. How dare he state that. Just who the hell does he think he is? I'm so ashamed to know that there are more like him out there and am terrified if he gets re-elected. We all say that we need change and have to get the old farts out of office, but then we elect the same kind into office. Unfortunately, the ones we actually want in office never win. We are screwed.

Cheryl said...

While I don't disagree with you on the topic of Aiken being the biggest dumbass on planet who deserves a very public backlash for being a total douche canoe, I am going to be in the minority here by saying I don't agree with every other thing you had to say. I, have followed your blog from before the time you hit it big. I, too, live in Johnson County, live between the two Targets and sell real estate for a living. I think we have a pretty good community here. I think saying with live in the fucking armpit of America is SO OVER THE TOP. Don't go lumping us together like we are all a bunch of bafoons. I realize today both Kansas and Missouri are doing their best to present us all as ignorant rednecks. I don't particularly care if you want to be living somewhere other than here but I think we have enough people thinking we all wear bib overalls without someone living in an affluent suburb saying we are fucking trash.

Still...I will concede that your comments that were specifically aimed toward Aiken were justified.

Unknown said...

If this wasn't so scary, I would laugh. The scariest part is that folks vote for people like this.

Unknown said...

I'm from Missouri. Intelligent, thinking people don't vote for Todd Idiotkin. You hit the nail on the head with the toothless mouth-breathers. I live here. I know. Beautiful countryside - moronic populace. Stay in St. Louis or Kansas City if you want to live here and not end up spending your time burning down mosques, scratching your crotch, expanding your vocabulary of racial slurs, figuring out which classes to keep your kid out of so they "ain't tainted with no learnin' that goes against church-teachin'" (Check out our recently passed Amendment 2 for that bit of joy), and generally ending up looking like a cast member from the movie, Deliverance.

Anonymous said...

Someone should rape him and see how "legitimate" it makes him feel.

Anonymous said...

Women's bodies can just block a unwanted pregnancy? Wow, I didn't know that. I am going to practice "I don't feel like having more kids" birth control from now on. Thanks Todd Akin, your the best.

the Hovestols said...

I love you Jen, but I think you should stick to less-serious (And less-political) topics.

Kelly and Sne said...

Two words: evangelical creationists. There are waaaaay too many of them in Missouri. Why the state attracts these nutcases and puppy mills, I"ll never understand. I'm sure that his "science" went into the Missouri legislation that will allow any child who thinks that dinosaurs rode in Noah's ark get out of learning about Darwin too (you wouldn't want to confuse him with REAL science...). In any case, I LOVE your description of his thought process - hilarious!

Anonymous said...

I am seriously starting to wonder if the things some of your (I'm Canadian, so when I say your, I mean US' citizens) politicians spew is not some kind of joke or competition to see who can spout the most asinine, offensive, ignorant bullshit. I've heard some dumb, douchetastic crap from politicians everywhere- but for some reason, the US seems to take the cake on verbal diarrhea.

This supposed supporter of Science must have his head too far up his own ass to have actually attained any knowledge of science beyond the dark ages.

Anonymous said...

I could not possibly disagree with you more! I love all of Jen's posts, but enjoy the political ones most of all. I think most of the people who read PIWTPITT are women and moms, but to pretend that is all we are is ridiculous. We can't just bury our head in the sand because we don't want to see the ungliness (and stupidity) that occurs in our society.
In fact I think it incumbent on all of us to take a stand for what we agree and disagree on. If we don't, more and more idiots like Akin will be re-elected, because we just wanted a good laugh.

Gidget said...

Sadly, I am from Missouri and I don't care for either candidate. It's like picking the lesser of two evils unfortunately.

It's nut jobs like this yahoo that give Missourians (and mid-westerners) a bad name and why so many people on the coasts think we all are like this. I truly think politics shouldn't have any involvement in social topics (like abortion, gay marriage, etc.) and politicians should spend time on issues that really matter for the whole country.

If we spent more time concentrating on things that matter (jobs, economy, etc.) and less time concentrating on what I do with my hoo-hah, the world would be a better place.

Tazi Kat said...

I was hoping you would give this guy a punch! His comment about "punishing" the child conceived made me sick! What about forcing a woman to carry the child of her rapist? What if the rape was incestuous? Even the most pro-choice person I know agrees to this exception!

Anonymous said...

I think that a poster of candidate voting records/platforms should be placed at all polling places for information purposes. That way before you vote you can see how they compare to your ideal representative. I for one would study it before I voted. Just true verified information allowed not the out of context attack crap we all get in the mail.

holly said...

I read a comment in an article about this that said Todd would protect women from rapists by stationing women at alleyways to lure rapists and then catch the rapists when they try to attack the women. Yes, all rapes happen in dark alleys and women would volunteer as targets. That commenter needs to be punched and then dressed as a woman and made a target to lure potential rapists into an alley.
The sad thing is that people will still support him because of their belief that abortions should be illegal regardless of the circumstances (see Sarah Palin). He won't change his stance on access, he will just have a different answer the next time he is asked a question like that so he won't cause such a mess next time.
I always vote for the pro-choice candidate because once safe access to abortions is taken away we will officially be no different than the Taliban and women will be considered property. All other issues between candidates are a toss up for me. I have three daughters, one who has special needs. I will vote for their rights until they can vote for themselves.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, I couldn't agree nor say it better myself.

SMD @ lifeaccordingtosteph said...

Spot on! I'm going to direct readers here via a link on my Thursday Thoughts blog on uh...Thursday if that's ok.

Anonymous said...

I think he means the difference between forcible rape and statutory rape. Not that it should make any difference.

Anonymous said...

He is probably also in line with the other fuckwads who want to require rape victims to get a transvaginal ultrasound before an abortion, because they weren't traumatized enough already.

Anonymous said...

How is it that we have so many reasonable comments to this story, along with your opinion and still so many idiots in office in Kansas....Brownback... Like you mentioned, "who votes for these idiots?" Makes you wonder if something is going on with voting machines.

Anonymous said...

How will the educated teachers vote?

Anonymous said...

Keep on Jen. We love it!

Kim at Let Me Start By Saying said...

My ovaries are infuriated. They want to shimmy down my vagina with their friends Fallopian Tubes, tie them around his junk reallyreallytight and give him two egg-shaped black eyes for saying stupid shit like that.
Rape is rape. Just because biology doesn't know whether or not we said "No", doesn't mean we shouldn't be able to say "No" if the attacker impregnates us.
Disgusting.
Throat punch: Deserved.

Jenn said...

All I have to say is: I agree with you, 100000000%!

Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 said...

Make it Movie Day in the auditorium, and you can step out two at a time?

Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 said...

Your caption was my favorite part.

Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 said...

P.S. Just learned that Paul Ryan co-sponsored an anti-abortion/pro-rape bill with Akin: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/2012/08/20/david-axelrod-todd-akin_n_1811693.html

Sarah said...

This might be a little long, so... sorry!

First, if this asshat's "science" is right well then my body should "shut down" the brownies I just ate and make me not be fat. Oh that's not how that works? They were legitimate brownies!

I agree with the 2nd Amendment and concealed weapons but I also feel that there should be limitations. 3 guns is 2 to many. I mean if the Zombie Apocalypse starts, well then by all means load on up and pass me a shotgun but in everyday normal life one should be plenty. I was raised in a household with guns and was taught to handle and respect them at a young age. My uncle is a retired Army vet,police officer,security officer and bounty hunter(not like the Dog or whatever, cause shit is not really like that) and if he is in public he is packing. And I mean everywhere... shopping mall, Disney World(I'm serious) everywhere. He was one of the people that showed me that you could carry a gun the right way and be smart about it. While I respect people's opinions and rights I feel that no matter what your personal stance on guns kids should be educated on them. A poster above said something similar.I feel that if a kid has a healthy knowledge and respect(even a healthy fear) of guns, they could be better off.

Anonymous said...

He is a F'ing douche canoe.

Lisa said...

And of course he is against emergency contraception that is given to victims at the hospital to prevent the pregnancy. Major asshat!

debrah said...

I love you. There I've said it.

TishM said...

I would love to see this guy come face to face with you L Carilo. I bet he sure would learn a few things! What a dick.

TishM said...

What? Because people might disagree with her or not like what she has to say she should just keep her mouth shut? It is in spite of people like you that women have come as far as we have, definately not because of people like you. Do you think that if we all just sit quietly in the corner and only speak when spoken to that bad things will just go away themselves? Time to put on your Big Girl Panties and face reality Hovestol!

Amanda said...

Yeah I apparently missed the day in human anatomy & physiology where they talk about how the female body "shuts these things down". I never knew my amazing uterus had some sort of secret drawbridge I could raise and lower. Why am I spending so much on birth control!? I should just activate my special anti-sperm force field!

TishM said...

Forget the throat punch. This guy needs a Junk Punch, no, wait...a junk KICK! That's right, a solid roundhouse kick right to the old twig & berries. I want to see this guy explain his 'science' to a woman who is pregnant by her rapist or to someone who is a product of rape. You know what's really scary? That there of plenty of people out there who agree with him. Stop the planet, I want to get off.

imbogus1 said...

Complete fucking idiot like most of the ashhhats and douche canoes that somehow get enough votes to sustain life in congress. When, oh fucking when, will we set term limits and vote people in to congress to vote what THEIR CONSTITUENTS want and not what is on their own personal fucking agenda to primarily get them re-elected to continue this fucking blight on America !!!

imbogus1 said...

Probably so...idiots !! Plain old fucking idiots. Wish we could somehow abort them still!!!!

imbogus1 said...

See if his ass shuts down???

Jamie said...

I agree only one gun is necessary and 99% of the time anything that goes bang would do. They even make rubber bullets for those not willing to kill but still wanting to feel like they can protect themselves.

Krysti said...

If women can "shut down" whatever part they don't want at any time, then that hellish week or so once a month should have disappeared a long time ago.

shannon said...

I believe in the right to carry a concealed weapons. People who want to own a gun and use it for wrong will do so regardless of the law. If a citizen with a concealed weapon was in that movie theater when that psycho went off a lot less people probably would have been injured. But I totally agree with what an asshat this guys seems to be with is misspoken words. I can not stand when men are trying to decide what is the right thing a woman should do with HER body.

Cynthia said...

Can we move the punch south please? Really, punching in the throat is to good for this guy.

Andrew D. Wells said...

"Science Enthusiast" Nice touch.

Zoe said...

Seems to me that Jen wasn't bashing Republicans or Democrats. She's venting about one person who happens to be in politics. End of story.

Jamie said...

I think every kid should have to take a gun safety class!

Anonymous said...

With just two brain cells floating around in that big ol' giant, bulbous head - do you think they ever bump into each other? Of course, that IS assuming that he has MORE than one brain cell in there...

Anonymous said...

Whaaa? I believe our polls are open from about 8 am to 8 pm. That should give the hardworking mamas and professionals time to vote. We need to make time. I'm guessing 'street bums' are not spending a lot of time voting in hardcore Republicans who will likely further cut social programming that serves those in need.

Not4NothingBut... said...

I hope that every woman with a vote is paying attention. This man is misogynist and he's not alone. Look at the voting records in Congress to see who voted against the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, who have sided with Akin, Ryan and others on redefining rape, and who would love to see birth control outlawed. The information is readily available, and if you don't relish the idea of becoming a second class citizen you'll start taking notes!

Not4NothingBut... said...

I too believe in the right to bear arms, but seriously, how many bullets does one gun need to fire before reloading is necessary. If you're hunting or protecting your home, more than 5-10 bullets means you need glasses, or shouldn't be carrying a gun.

TishM said...

" If a citizen with a concealed weapon was in that movie theater when that psycho went off a lot less people probably would have been injured". I said the EXACT same thing. You rock :)

Unknown said...

That was awesome.

Unknown said...

Throat punch so that he is rendered mute. Head punch so that he reveals himself for the drooling idiot he is. And nut punch for being a monstrous dick. And not in a good way.

Connie/FL said...

Your statement made me laugh til the tears were running. I think you hit the nail on the head!

Jennie d said...

This made me do one of those weird hiccup laughs. Thank god I didn't have soda in my mouth because it would've come out of my nose.

janet c said...

Jt1222 -- I completely agree with you. The guy is a complete ignorant jackass.

Jennie d said...

That is how I feel about it. Hell, I worry about my daughter in the future and she's only 4! I worrythat because of her autism, that she might be more vulerable and boys will take advantage of that, and IF that does happen, I will not force to carry a child that she does not want or understand the implications. Yes, there is the adoption option, but there are other kids out there that need loving homes too.Also, I like to know how rare this dude thinks pregnancy from rape is because there are 3 people in mine and my hubs's circle that have gotten pregnant as a result of rape-my mother included.

Jennie d said...

Not her force her to carry*

Amy said...

Some people make a distinction between forcible and acquaintance rape. I had thought we were moving forward because the FBI definition of rape (which is what is used to calculate the number of rapes reported to police) finally encompasses any penetration without consent regardless of gender (before January of this year, only rapes against women were considered rape for the purposes of statistics) and regardless of if the victim resisted or not. Apparently there are still questions about what constitutes rape and many continue to believe it's about sex when really it's about exerting power....

Tankersmom said...

Obviously, he must have gotten a BS in shitheadedness and not Science. To say you can not get impregnated from rape because your body wills you not too is horsecock! I live in Missouri and am traumatized that he could be such an idiot about, as you stated, something we all learn in the fourth grade about the female reproductive system. I am still trying to figure out what exactly he meant by "legitimate." WTF is wrong with some people!

Laura M said...

I just read a great response letter about this issue, so powerful, would recommend everyone read it:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eve-ensler/todd-akin-rape_b_1812930.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false

Jessica said...

This guy deserves a few punches if you ask me. WTF is legitimate rape?

Anonymous said...

i honestly believe more people would have been injured in the chaos in that movie theater if people had been carrying weapons. living in a city like chicago, people carrying weapons is a very very scary thought.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of Chicago, this is an article worth reading.

http://gawker.com/5934608/chicagos-shootings-didnt-happen-in-a-movie-theater-but-its-still-the-worlds-deadliest-city

Kendra said...

I guess he also thinks a woman's body, in a legitimate rape, can also reject the AIDS virus, syphillis, and gonorrhea.

Anonymous said...

Every woman should be aware of this completely unacceptable "off the cuff" remark and Jen's blog was one more way to help get people thinking critically about this issue, rather than let his poor excuse of an apology sweep things under the rug. Just the use of the term "legitimate rape" is victimizing those who have experienced it all over again. Not to even mention the "shutting down method" he made up. Punch on!

Emmy said...

I can tell you as a rape victim, this man does nothing but add guilt. How dare he decide if it's "legitimate" or not... Just because I did not get pregnant, as a result makes my rape real, but a woman who does as a result of rape was just not raped. And to top it off he signed a bill against letting marital rape be used. I wanna meet the man willing to tell my cousin who was kidnapped by her ex who she was divorcing, tied up and raped that it wasn't rape because it was her husband. This man is nothing but a pig.

Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous said...

My first reaction on reading this was "Oh, that can't be right. Surely no one would be stupid enough to actually believe that, let alone say it in an interview", but then I realised that this is a politician you're talking about, and I seriously have to learn to not underestimate their stupidity.

Carolyn B said...

Thank you Jen!! Sadly when he says he misspoke I fear he didn't say what he truly believed. I'm guessing with his extremely conservative, somewhat distorted religious views guiding him he actually believes that a woman wouldn't get pregnant if she were raped because God wouldn't allow an innocent woman to become pregnant in such circumstances. Therefore if she is raped and gets pregnant, she must have had it coming and therefore it wasn't really rape.
It's a lot like the Salem witch trials, if she floats, she's a witch - burn her alive. If she drowns, she wasn't a witch, oh darn she's dead but at least she wasn't a witch, her family must be so relieved.
And to think, when I learned about that in 6th grade, a few decades ago I thought, thank god I wasn't alive then, when those in charge were such religious fanatics who seemed to hate women.
Looks like my daughter won't be quite so relieved when she learns about the Salem witch trials.
If he wins the senate seat I'll be really scared for our future.

Delfin Joaquin Paris III said...

As a dude I have learned one thing:

We men have no business being in any conversation about rape or abortion.

Please excuse me while I exit stage left.

Inken said...

Be very very careful in choosing who you vote for. You have only one voice. And the democratic right to vote must be taken very seriously. So, please, please, please DO NOT vote for people like this! Keep your country clean!!!

Anonymous said...

I think fucktard is my new favorite word... Sometimes we just can't find a word strong enough to describe these cretins!

Anonymous said...

Dipshitiot may be my new favorite word, LMAO!

Anonymous said...

Perfectly said. They don't deserve their vagina if they vote for him!!!!!!!

Sue said...

I stand corrected... the Republicans are now speaking out. What a relief.

Janna N said...

Well said!! I'd call this man a douche canoe, but I'm afraid he might think it was some medical procedure to kill rapey sperm.

KelleyB said...

It does seem like the political equivalent of "Jackass", doesn't it? Let's call it "Jackass: the Campaign".

PS - I've read that his own kids are home-schooled (probably why he doesn't support public education much). Can you imagine the fallacies being imparted to this children as "education"?? There's going to be a whole new generation of idiots in the village!

Anonymous said...

I had to laugh - I'm from Georgia, and I feel like this about my state - like everyone else the country must feel like we are crotch-scratching, bigoted, flat-earthers! It makes me feel a bit better to know we are not the only ass-backward state in the nation. There are a few pockets of rational, educated people in this state, THANK GOD.

Angela M said...

I have a friend with that condition. She was married for 10 YEARS before she could even have sex with her husband!!

Anonymous said...

i think that guy is hilarious

I Miss You When I Blink said...

He just came out with a TV ad that says, "I used the wrong words."

Used the wrong words? I'll say. Dude, I'm a writer, so I speak for the Words (just the Lorax, who speaks for the Trees): The Words would like to quit you. You used Words so wrong, that Words are now boycotting your mouth.

Julia said...

They vote for idiots like that because they are running against other idiots. Most politicians are don't care what other people think of them when they fail to pay taxes and misuse taxpayer money and then fail to do the job they were elected to do (i.e. Clair McCaskell) It's easy to be distracted by controversial statements and flattering headlines (on both sides) and not pay attention to the details of what they're actually doing or not doing. Sometimes I think they do it on purpose. I couldn't vote for either one with a good conscience but it doesn't do any good to stay out of the process either.

Anonymous said...

The onion said it best...http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-misspokewhat-i-meant-to-say-is-i-am-dumb-as-dog,29256/

Jensational said...

To be fair to the VOTERS you are shitting on, Jen, they most likely didn't know he had this kind of twisted thinking because he had never said anything remotely like this before, during or after his previous campaign. Now that he has voiced his freak opinion on rape, you can be assured that he will not win his re-election. If he does, THEN you can shit on the voters and call them out for the morons they would be. :-D

Susan said...

applause...applause...I agree!! This man is a symptom of things going on in this country!!

Anonymous said...

Jen, how about developing a list of Men's health issues that women would control in a reverse situation world (women in the majority running the government to men's measly minority): First on my list would be "forced vasectomies", but I'm sure you could come up with many more (such as no more high-violence, high-injury sports such as football, hockey, etc., etc.) with your hilarious point of view!

Anonymous said...

LMAO!
Kort

Anonymous said...

You go girl! The fact that there are people that continue to vote for people like Akin is baffling and depressing.

Queen of the Couch said...

Great post! I couldn't resist addressing this douche's comments on my blog--which led me to yours.
It is appalling that this level of ignorance is in the position he is in. *shudder*

Unknown said...

I am clearly with a majority when I say fuck a punch to the throat. Punch him in the nads, repeatedly, preferrably with brass knuckles.

Anonymous said...

The Aurora, CO shooter was wearing kevlar head to toe. No way in hell would any gun have killed him.

And you don't always need a gun - check out this story about bystanders who attacked a gunman.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/chi-west-side-shooting-leaves-assailant-in-critical-condition-20120821,0,4283770.story

Laura M said...

here's another gem of an article, where Mike Huckabee reminds us rape has created some extraordinary people. WTF kind of sick thinking is that?

http://gawker.com/5936386/mike-huckabee-would-like-to-remind-you-that-rape-has-created-some-extraordinary-people

Anonymous said...

I do agree with the fact that his apology was insincere and his views and beliefs on rape and pregnancy are flatout wrong, however I also think that the content of this blog post is just as ignorant and shameful. If you don't trust your fellow Americans to vote responsibly and you're in the 'armpit' of America and dislike it so badly, then move to another country.

Anonymous said...

http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/08/steve-king-statutory-rape.php uggh

Tazi Kat said...

No pressure or anything, but you DO live in his neck of the woods...it would be so easy to meander on over and give him an actual throat punch. We could even watch to see if it shuts down his voice box!!!

Anonymous said...

I'd like to call a meeting with the Health and Human Serices Committe, the Vatican, and every health insurance provider in the US. Clearly, Akin has a knowledge of the female reproductive system that Is worthy of revealing on a national and international platform. I'm tired of hiding ignorant politicians - I'd rather call them out so they have their moment to SHINE forever...

Becky B. said...

I really feel to the core of my being, that most of the current elected officials should be replaced. I'm not sure that an entire new group of people could do any worse. I am well aware that these people are everywhere but we would be hard pressed to find worse representation that what we currently have.

Veronica said...

When my yoga instructor told us to channel our inner warrior, I had no idea that said warrior lived in my vagina, ready to fend off wayward rapey sperms. Good to know!

Dale said...

Totally agree with you. JA!

Jacqueline Stallings said...

Simply superb. EVERYONE has to VOTE!

Anonymous said...

Everyone should watch this interview with George Stephanopolous on ABC. Talk about a politician who is completely unrepentant and takes every opportunity to spout his position is spite of being outed as a jack-off. Check out as his face brightens when he launches into his sthick. Scary.

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2012/08/todd-akin-opens-door-to-possible-exit/

Anonymous said...

Rape is acknowledged by the UN and the International Criminial Court as a tool of genocide, with the intended end result being to have babies from one people born to the women of the other. Akin's comments don't only show a lack of understanding of women's health and social - They show that he's completely ignorant about international issues.
But I guess if he waves the flag, talks to Jesus, and has a ton of cash, he's fit for high office. God bless America, she's gonna need it!

Anonymous said...

If only the plumbing in my house could take a cue from my lady plumbing, and learn to "shut the whole thing down" when my DD flushes my car keys down the crapper...

Anonymous said...

This moron's last name starts with "A." He's probably first on the ballot. That said, voters may just be choosing the first name they see versus making an informed decision. If that's not the case, I have no faith in mankind...

Anonymous said...

Can we add a throat punch for:

1. the RNC for disowning him when all he is doing is reinforcing their OWN platform on abortion and rape and trying to justify it by adding a few ideas he has picked up along the way.

2. For Paul Ryan who co-sponsored a bill with this jack hole and in it tried to define "forcible rape"

3. The RNC again for their inconistency in NOT disowning Scott Brown for blasting their platform on abortion and saying he's pro-choice. Perhaps because he's running against Elizabeth Warren and they need to put money into his campaign?

Marcella said...

Check out this awesome diorama: "The Female Reproductive System as According to Todd Akin" http://cheezburger.com/6527447552 lol

Stephanie H. said...

right on! I love your blog! The only issue I have is that I wouldn't sh*t on the voters just yet. Granted it seems the man has had a shady political background,but he may not have opened his mouth to let such sh*t fall out of his mouth so loudly. If he is re-elected then by all means let'em have it. I have only found one other that contains the sarcasism and humor that I love from your blog. The Onion

ex.)http://www.theonion.com/articles/pregnant-woman-relieved-to-learn-her-rape-was-ille,29258/

Anonymous said...

I am guessing this clown either does not read the bible he cliams to believe in which has plenty of rape and incest tales where women got pregnant. What an utter idiot. I cannot believe any sensible person could possibly vote for him, or anyone who defends him.

Anonymous said...

Oh, please please don't believe this! Don't know if you said this tongue-in-cheek, but we need men speaking out against rape more than ever! There are many "men against rape" groups on the web that explore how to facilitate a conversation with your brothers, uncles, friends, co-workers, etc etc about rape. Even if it's simply telling someone who made a rape joke that it isn't funny. Men perpetrate the majority of the rapes, please don't just wave your hands and back away!!

Anonymous said...

Isn't it federal law that the polls have to be open from 8 to 8? I pick up my 7 year old son after work, swing into the polling station, and cast my vote. I generally explain quietly to my son what I am voting on, and he puts the ballot in the box. We just had a bond vote yesterday and when he put the vote in the box they announced both our names and he got an "I Voted" sticker as well!! Starting him young!

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