Rep. Todd Akin

I live in the fucking armpit of America where I am surrounded by people who continually vote ignoramuses into political office.

Have you heard about Congressman Todd Akin from Missouri yet?  My neighbors across the border in Missouri have a congressman who sits on the House Committee of Science, Space and Technology who thinks that if a woman suffers a "legitimate rape, the female body has ways to...shut that whole thing down."  

Yes, Missouri has elected the village idiot to Congress and now he's running for Senate.

Rep. Todd Akin - Science Enthusiast

If it wasn't so scary I'd laugh.  The man sits on the House Committee of SCIENCE, Space and Technology and he thinks that I just need to tell those rapey sperm to get away from my eggs.  Is that what science has taught him???  He also probably learned in his "science" class that there were dinosaurs on Noah's Ark.

And don't even get me started on what qualifies as a "legitimate" rape.  I didn't realize there was a legitimate rape.  "You were asking for it, slut.  That's why your body didn't shut that whole thing down.  Nope, wasn't a legitimate rape - abortion denied."  

Why is this guy even on the ballot?  This asshat thinks the female wonderland knows when it has been raped and will shut down the tubes and prevent unwanted pregnancies.  This guy might win the dumb ass award for the year.  With all the other idiots in office, that is some feat. 

Who votes for people like Akin?  Who looks at his voting record  (a mix of cuts to education, parks and embryonic stem cell research along with a healthy dose of support for concealed weapons) and thinks, "Yup, this is the guy for me!"

I'm sure there are some smart, educated people who vote for Akin, but it makes me feel better to imagine his supporters as toothless mouth breathers who say things like, "I hate smart kids, education is for the weak.  I quit school in 6th grade and I turned out just fine!  Parks suck.  Only perverts and gays hang out in parks.  I don't want my tax dollars supporting that kind of sin.  Embry...what???  What the hell science fiction is that?  You can pry my 9 mm from my cold, dead hand, my 2000 44 Special Bulldog from my front right pants pocket and my Star PD 45 ACP from my shoulder holster - all lethal, legal and necessary for one's safety."

I take it back.  I can't imagine there are any smart, educated people who are voting for this guy and his ilk.  There can't be.  How could they?  What has happened to our country?  How do these guys keep getting elected?

America should be ashamed of itself.  The voters in America continue to put whiners, freaks, buffoons, bigots, and all around assholes into office.

Akin has since said that he misspoke.  Of course he misspoke, but the thing is, I don't believe him.  I think that when he went to that interview and he said a "legitimate rape" can be countered by a woman's body he really meant it.  He believed in that "science."  Ha.  My second grader knows more about the biology of a woman's reproductive system than Akin does.

No, if he "misspoke" he would have instantly realized the nonsense that had vomited from his mouth and he would have quickly corrected himself right then, "Whoops!  Wait, what did I say?  Of course I didn't mean that.  That's not physically possible.  HOWEVER, what I meant to say was I think abortion is wrong in any instance.  If a woman is raped and she becomes pregnant as a result, I'm sorry to hear that.  But her right to choose an abortion should be denied because the rights of the unborn child are greater.  True, I haven't voted to support education for this child or parks for this child to play in.  True, I've made it easier to conceal weapons in the state this child will be raised in and this could result in the child one day being accidentally shot.  But none of that matters.  What matters is that this woman got herself in a pickle and now she's going to have to raise that pickle."

I don't care if you are pro-life or pro-choice.  That is not the issue here.  The issue is that we have a dolt in office and he is running for the Senate.  I don't care if you are Republican or Democrat, you should go out and vote.  Just don't vote for twits that think "legitimate rape" actually exists.

If you don't agree with my politics and you want to say so, fine.  Just make sure you say it respectfully. 

BE RESPECTFUL TO ONE ANOTHER IN THE COMMENTS SECTION.  YOUR FIGHT IS NOT WITH EACH OTHER.  It may seem hypocritical for me to rant and rave and then say you can't rant and rave.  I'm saying this, because I wrote this piece and I'm prepared to take criticism, but the people who comment here are not in a position to be attacked, they're just commenting and they didn't ask for a fight.  If you want to fight, go start your own blog.

Stupid Men Who Make Laws That Affect Me & My Daughter

This should be subtitled Why Kansas Sucks for Women.

I am so furious right now I am literally shaking.  I have lived in Kansas now for a total of 15 years or so and I've always known that outside of my little ring of friends this is one of the most backassward states in the union.  This is the state that has a law that states if two oncoming trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.  (Duh.)  This is a state where my city has to have a law that no one may picket a funeral.  (Yup, those assholes are from here too.)  And this is the state that teaches evolution is a theory, not a fact.  (Yes, it makes total sense that Adam and Eve had dinosaurs for pets.  And I guess dinos no longer exist because Noah forgot to get them on the Ark??)

And now Kansas has this douche spouting his misogynistic (and idiotic) shite.  I think the writer from The Pitch did a fantastic job skewering the guy and I loved that he included the home phone number of the dickhead.  I haven't called him yet.  I'm trying to decide if I want to have a legitimate conversation with him where I try to point out the flaws in his proposal and where I would ask him how he'd like it if his wife or daughters were forced to plan ahead for a RAPE or if I just want to call him every name in the book, accuse him of being a close-minded weirdo who probably looks at kiddie porn when the fam is asleep and threaten him with bodily harm a la the Shazam.  I go back and forth.  I need to do some research first, I don't want to end up in jail.

It's just so aggravating and frustrating that all these fucking MEN make laws that dictate what can and can't be done to WOMEN'S bodies.  Fuck you, Rep. Pete DeGraaf!  Who do you think you are?!  What gives you the right to tell me and my daughter what we should "prepare" for??  If you can get a penile impant without a special rider I should be able to get an abortion!  (I'm not saying he's ever had one, but he IS acting like a man with an inadequacy don't you think?)

I've never had an abortion.  I'm at a point in my life that I probably would not have an abortion.  I'm affluent enough that if I or my daughter ever chose to have one, I could find a place to go and get the job done without a coat hanger.  There are millions of women in this country who don't have that luxury and they will DIE when they realize they don't have a "spare tire," because they will go to some back alley kook who will charge them cash and use dirty surgical instruments.

Men like Rep. DeGraaf and his colleagues will fight wars for oil and land and money.  But I WILL fight to the death for my daughter's reproductive rights and her right to make a safe and affordable choice.  That might sound like hyperbole, but it's not.  I feel like this is a war.  A war on women and laws like this one are just the tip of the iceberg that is coming.  I rant and I rave on this blog about how minorities are treated and today, I am a member of that threatened minority and I will definitely not go quietly!

I can't even believe that I HAVE to rant and rave.  This should be a no-brainer - keep YOUR fucking laws about MY body away from me.  Don't preach to me.  Don't tell me to "prepare" for a rape or unwanted pregnancy like I would prepare for a flat tire or my death (abortion insurance IS NOTHING like a spare tire or life insurance).  Stay away from me and definitely stay away from my daughter!

I wonder what it would be like if the roles were reversed and the men were the ones with unwanted pregnancy or were victims of rape, incest, and more?  They'd probably have drive through abortion clinics on every corner.  They'd have the drug companies working on the very best drugs to make an abortion as quick, easy and affordable as possible. Pfizer would probably sell Viagra and this abortion wonder drug in a two pack with a coupon!

There is a campaign under way to send Rep. Pete DeGraaf mini spare tires.  I'm more of the mindset we should put a horse's head in his bed.

If you'd like to drop him a note or give him a call, here's his info:

DeGraaf's Web site lists his office number as 785-296-7693, his home phone as 316-777-0715 - that's at 1545 E. 119th St. Mulvane, KS - and his e-mail as pete.degraaf@house.ks.gov.


If you agree with me, please repost.