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The Over Achievers Are at it Again

Oh no they didn't!  The over achievers are at it again and this time they've taken on Valentine's Day.  If I see one more picture of heart shaped pancakes and dyed red milk I'm going to scream.  And don't even get me started on this:

Photo courtesy of OAM with sense of humor
Put that damn Elf away!!!  He does not belong out on Valentine's Day!!!

My Facebook started blowing up this morning and didn't stop all day.  I saw so many cutesy Valentine's that kids did not make.

Do not try to tell me that kids made half the Valentine's I saw today.  There's no way.  Kids did not take an adorable photo of themselves holding out their arm and the kids did not punch a hole in the picture and put a sucker in there so it looks like they're handing you the sucker from the precious photo.  Kids did not make these Nintendo DS Valentines:


Or these dynamite valentines:
Kids did not melt chocolate over a stove and pour the steaming hot liquid into candy molds in the shapes of hearts, Legos, roses, etc.  Kids did not get on the computer and design and print colorful cardstock with fun little sayings like "Owl Love You Forever" and then staple them to the tops of plastic bags full of homemade candy they didn't make.  I just don't believe it.

Looking through the Valentine's my kids received today, I will say the majority of the kids did address them at least, but that's about it.

Even I had to get on the bandwagon a bit with the overachievers.  My own kids gave out store bought cards with included tattoos (The ones that included pencils were all sold out, damn it.  I guess that's what I get when I wait until the weekend before to buy my Valentines).  I had to sit there for an hour poking those minuscule tattoo corners into the stupid slits on the cards, because my kids lack the patience and dexterity to do it themselves.  I would have chucked the tattoos, except the cards say, "Enjoy your tattoo!" and my kids were watching me making sure I included a tattoo for all their friends.  They know me so well!  They knew if they left me alone to my own devices, I'd throw the tattoos in the trash and call it done.  I know how long it took me to assemble those stupid things and they'll never end up on anyone's Pinterest boards.  I should have done the damn photo with the sucker thing.  It might have actually been faster.

And since when did Valentine's become Christmas and Halloween rolled into one?  My kids came home with so much candy and presents today it couldn't all fit in their backpacks.  We are still eating our way through Halloween and Christmas candy at this point.  We do not need anymore.

I saw the pictures of the overachievers who were up bright and early giving their kids gifts for Valentine's Day.  I will get on board with the Easter Bunny bringing you a little something, but Cupid?  I don't think so.  Not in this house.  I believe I just bought a shitload of gifts for my kids not 2 months ago and a fat guy got all the credit, the hell I'm doing that again only now it's a fat baby looking thing getting the credit.

Most of the gifts I saw were Legos or art supplies or things like that.  I did see an iTouch though and I heard about bouquets of flowers being delivered to the schools - for kids.  I feel sorry for the future husbands of those girls.  If they've been getting a dozen roses since Kindergarten, imagine what they're going to want when they're 40!  A heart shaped pizza and "Breaking Dawn" on DVD is not going to suffice (thank you, Hubs!!).

It wasn't just the kids either.  It was the teachers too.  At the class party today there were a few gifts for the teacher.  Of course, my kid wanted to know where our gift for the teacher was.  How was I supposed to know we were giving gifts??  I didn't realize the teacher was my sweetheart and I should have brought her a box of chocolates.

I tell you, it's amazing how the overachievers can take the simplest holiday and turn it into a production and an event "for the kids."  Ha!  The overachievers aren't doing it for the kids.  They're doing it for themselves.  They're doing it so they can have all the other moms say to them, "How adorable!  What a cute idea.  You're so creative and fun!  I would love to be your kid!"  I just want them to own it and say it out loud.  I want them to say, "I like to make cutesy crafty things for my kids to give out so that people will tell me how great I am.  I like to give the teacher a gift because I know that no one else will and I'll stand out and look like a champ."  Just own it and I'll leave you alone.

I have lots of annoying and egotistical things I do, but the difference is, I own them.  For instance, I will tell anyone, I am a whore for comments on my blog.  I love comments.  I check my comments all the time.  I love to read the comments and I enjoy reading them - even the nasty ones make me happy.  At least someone's reading (not as carefully as I'd like sometimes, but reading nonetheless).  See?  That wasn't hard. Now you try.

Eh, I don't know why I'm amazed every time the overachievers raise the bar and make me look like an ass, but I am.  And every holiday it seems to gets worse.  I've already noticed St. Patrick's Day trending out there.  Oh God, it's coming.  I refuse to make green milk and shamrock shaped pancakes and I'll be damned if I ever make this stupid thing:



Yup, it's a fucking Leprechaun trap.  

406 comments:

  1. oh good lord. I'm known for going overboard with SOME things, but this was just RIDICULOUS!!

    punch away, Jen... punch away!

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  2. Even though I am not a mother, I look forward to laughing my ass off at other people who have nothing else better to do than make leprechaun traps.... LMFAO.

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    1. Haha. I'm with you on that. I don't have any kids yet myself, but I just can't see myself going so far for Valentine's Day. Even the adults on my Facebook were acting like it was Christmas yesterday posting a zillion pics of their "gifts". My thing is, flowers die, balloons deflate, and the teddy bears get stuffed in the closet. Waste of money if you ask me.

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  3. I was laughing all the way through your blog today and then totally lost it when I got to the Leprechaun trap. BAHAHAHA!

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  4. OMG.. you completely just typed out everything I said yesterday! Seriously, I didn't buy my kids anything for V-day. They came home with enough crap from school. And someone send this note to the grandparents too! I don't have time for this!

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  5. Guilty. I was on board with your rant about the Elf on the Shelf--but I have recently been sucked into the creative vortex of Pinterest and went a little nuts for Valentine's Day. I got bent out of shape when my 2 & 4 year old boys didn't go nuts for my decorations, heart shaped pancakes & purple milk ice cubes. Thanks for the reality check. I will NOT be investing in anything creative until Easter.

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  6. so our valentines treat was going to get the free Colbert ice cream yesterday at Ben and Jerry's and my kids do the store bought valentines too, but i will say that Lenny the Leprechaun is friggin hilarious when your kids believe he is really doing crazy crap. the preschool started it where they had stuff turned green at school and shamrock footprints, etc. they have really so much fun with that holiday that it makes me feel better for wanting to just drink on st patricks day. its the one day a year that makes me feel so old and responsible. why can't i go out drinking at 8am anymore...its worth the green food coloring and letting them make their own leprechaun trap (i don't help them and they use what they can find...)

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  7. I'll be honest... I saw a leprechaun trap cake last year, and I am bound and determined to make it for St. Patrick's Day this year. It's a rainbow bundt cake (food coloring added to white cake mix) with grass frosting, a pretzel stick "grate" over the center, and chocolate coins as the bait for the leprechaun. Oh, and a pretzel ladder up the side of the cake, so he can get to the gold. It will be awesome, and I will be legendary for it. Or not, but the cake will be good either way. ;)

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  8. I saw some teacher gifts making their way into the school yesterday morning. WTF! I can barely remember the Christmas and end-of-the-year gifts. Thank god for class moms that take up donations, or I'm sure my son would be blackballed due to my inability to remember gifts for his older sister's teachers.

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    1. Anonymous11:55

      WTF, now there's end of year gifts for teachers? I give them the same thing every year...my kid will no longer be in their class. As for Valentine's, if the kids can't do it, it aint happening!

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  9. Ha!!! I'm the mom that is usually scurrying around to get it all done at the last minute!!! I do believe in letting my kids do it themselves. My youngest is almost 15 now, and made Christmas presents for her friends instead of the whole, "What the hell are we gonna buy for them"?! I AM, however, guilty of buying all six kids a Valentine happy...a goodie bag that included their favorite soda, chips, and assorted candy bars....Yep...a healthy, nutritious, goodie bag! LOL!

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  10. You just made my day. I went around all day feeling like shit because i forgot to do valentines for littlest preschool I already had done them for daycare... Didn't do them for the teachers... Had the other two come home from school with amazing home made valentines and gifts?!? WTF?? Thank you for making me feel normal!!

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    1. we didn't get teacher gifts either. that is so crazy. we have christmas presents for teachers and end of the year presents. omg....don't feel bad!

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  11. omg I have got to make the leprechaun trap for my husband! We have no kids at home and he is always laughing at me for coming up with ridiculous things for him to do on holidays. ROTFLMAO!!!

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  12. Hehe, I deserve a half punch. I spent 5 hours on Saturday making homemade cards WITH my kindergartener :) and by "with", I mean the half I did were incredibly, enviously, craft-astically shove my crafty ass cuteness into your face and the other half were clearly done by a 6 year old. He really enjoys arts & crafts though (handmade was his idea) & got to practice writing, so give me a little love tap lol :)

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    1. HAHA, girl, me too. And by the time I was done I wanted to kick my 5 and 6 year olds and punch their teachers in the face. And also the kids with 13 letter, hyphenated and apostrophe laden names that we had to struggle through.

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  13. Girl.... every single day I look forward to what you've got to say,and this one really got to me! What is with these women anyway? I can own up to making some very impressive projects (Diarahma anyone? - that is SO not how you spell diarahma!)and actually being proud when my 4th grader gets an *A* on it... but dangit I HAVE to do those because they will never get done otherwise (kind of like this years Science projects didn't) but I totally have to agree that I just stop an wonder.... what did this woman have for breakfast that she has the imagination to say to herself... *I"m going to make Lego candy men for Juniors whole 3rd grade!*

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  14. HAAAA! The Leprachaun trap~OMG. I admit to making one of those cards with the suckers. LOL. Even I was shocked! My in laws turned Easter into the biggest event last year we actually had to have an intervention. RIDIC!

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  15. I'm going to come clean. I bought heart shaped dunkin donuts for brakfast yesterday, made cutesy Valentines (not the photo one my own kids refused to do that even tho I may have begged them. Oops.) and had heart shaped pizza for dinner but I don't take myself to seriously and I admit I'd like to punch myself in the throat sometimes for being an overachiever. It's an addiction and I take it one day at a time. ;-) Now read this attention whore comment and be happy.

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  16. This was good...even hilarious...I'm a 54 year old mother of 3 and grandmother of 2. I'm so glad I don't have to feel like I have to compete with these people. AND I would have, because it's who I am. A passive/aggressive southern woman who won't say anything bad about you without a "bless your heart" either at the beginning or end of the statement. The pic of the elf made me laugh. Thanks for that. I'm so thankful that stupid elf wasn't invented until mine were grown....I did give one to my daughter for her Kindergarten class. My son and his wife thought it was creepy and refused one....for now anyway...until she gets bitten by the keeping up with the others bug!Maybe that won't happen! Keep writing, I need the laughs!

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  17. Yes, Im an overachiever, I admit it. But the leprechaun trap and the elf thing is going overboard. My little girl just turned one, so Im still getting the hang of this mom thing. I must admit Im also a bit A.D.D. when it comes to understanding this stuff. It took my sister three times to explain the point of the elf to me! I was also guilty for giving out choke hazardous candy at my kid's birthday party - as the other "expert" moms critized!!!

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  18. Don't speak too quickly . . . you might end up making something that looks like that (in fact, you should probably save this for future reference). Both of my girls (now 12 and 14) had homework projects where they had to make "Leprechaun Traps" for St. Patrick's Day sometime in elementary school. I can't remember the supposed lesson, but I do remember thinking it was a good creative-thinking, engineering kind of thing. They made the traps themselves (it was THEIR homework, not MINE).

    But you're right - some of these folks are over the top on Valentine's Day. Way over. I'm glad my kids are old enough now that it's not expected.

    So enjoying your posts - generally don't comment, but given your whore admission, thought I'd make the exception.

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  19. Thank you for making me feel like a normal mom. I'm a stay at home mom yet I never do cute or craftsy things with my son. That's kind of why I sent him to preschool! Though I do feel the pressure to go over the top on things, I'm pretty much a normal mom. We didn't even do Valentines for his class because he doesn't go to preschool on Tuesdays. (Talk about lazy!) The most creative thing we did yesterday was bake cupcakes (from the BOX!!!) together and I let him lick the spoon. And that was overachieving for me. Mom of the year!

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  20. My facebook was blowing up for a few days prior to valentine's day with pictures of the valentine's boxes the "kids" made.. now I'm pretty sure your 6 year old didn't turn a shoebox into a pirate ship complete with sails that stood at least 6 inches tall. My son is only 5 months old.. but I'm not much of ba crafty person.. so I'm sure ill be cussing these moms when he gets to kindergarden that come up with these elaborate ideas. I would rather let my SON do it than me do it myself and take the fun away from him. It may not be as pretty as some of the others.. but at least it will be his creation.

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  21. Um, yeah. A, bought the Valentines the night before. Chose them myself 'cause my 12 yo daughter said I could :) That was the extent of it since I spent the REST of the day getting braces on 12 yo's teeth and xrays and CT scan on 16 yo boy's hip. At some point I'll call a re-do or do-over on V-day, but not this week. Probably not this month even, as I'm stone-ass broke between the braces and the CT scan...

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  22. Can Cupid sue that Elf for holiday encroachment or something?

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  23. Good post, Jen! I especially like the part about sending flowers to the children. My uncle has six grandchildren, five of them little girls, all under the age of 6. He began sending the oldest a dozen roses on her birthday and now does it for each child. Seriously, what four year old wants roses?

    Thankfully, I think that he's realizing the folly and the expensive habit he's formed. Hopefully he'll stop and give them something to appreciate when a man gives them their first dozen of roses as a young lady. I've yet to receive a dozen and I'm 32-discounting the dozen white my father sent when I got my first period at 11 and I was not at all excited about those...

    As for my uncle, he also gave each grandchild an Ipad for Christmas. Don't get me started on that!

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    1. Can I send my kids to your uncle?? :)

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  24. Love it! My Mom was one of those that dyed our pancakes red, our eggs green and decorated the crap out of our house for every holiday. Me... not so much.

    My sister is a teacher (GT, so not in a regular classroom) and she had students actually walk in and say "What did you get us for Valentine's day?" Wow. These kids are expecting way too much.

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  25. "Comment whore" lol! Remember the Dark Ages of MySpace? I used to be a "number of views whore"...you know, profile and pictures views? I obsessively checked that number. Facebook needs to get on board with that. It's a real confidence booster.

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  26. I was looking through my daughter's valetines and her shit load of crap...when I came across a bag filled with homemade chocolate covered preztels and a handmade (and extremely cute, I'll give it that) card. I said "I guess the mom didn't get the damn memo?" wtf

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  27. is it bad that I was relived when the stomach bug hit our home at 4 am on Monday the 13th?? Because my first thought was "oh darn, no we have to miss the Valentines Party!" I am bad.

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  28. "and they'll never end up on anyone's Pinterest boards"

    damning!

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  29. Love it.. however I do feel guilty... I did make a semi-crafty Vday give out for my 2 year old. I however had her help me with it. She put stickers on the bags and helped me put the cookies in the bags (we bought teddy grahams) I did print up labels to put on them. I'll take my punch now!!! (-: I did it some because it was cute and it's nice to get recognized for being creative but I would not consider myself a competamom. WHo knows.. they maybe got pitched in the trash because we touched them. Another Punch for me... we did get her 3 teachers small potted flower ($4.99) from grocery and a card my 2 year old colored all over. I look at it as more of a Thank You for taking my kid all day so I can work full time and have a break. HA HA!!!

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  30. I SO wanted to be one of these overachievers this year. I had all my pins planned out and it was going to be SO FUN... until I realized that my kids are 4 and 2 and, oh yeah, I'm super lazy :). I picked them up a couple bouquets of flowers from Walmart when we got groceries and they were fine. I made brownies and cookies for the party at school and forgot to include the Valentine's that came free with a My Little Pony book I bought them a while back... oops. I'm not cut out for being an overachiever :)

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    1. I will say, though, that my Mom wasn't an overachiever, but she always got me a single rose and some candy or a little toy and a card every year. A lot of times, it was the only thing I got. I was always so depressed on vday when I didn't get flowers delivered to school from a boyfriend, so that little bit from my Mom was very special ;)

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  31. In addition, my childrens' grandparents got so much stuff for my kids that it made our gift of barbie hearts filled with gummies look like shit. thanks alot.

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  32. Well said! Holy crap! So many parents are outta touch with the reality of the holiday! Ok, I admit, all my kids got small gifts and a candy, BUT, I had to and here's why...
    My oldest (whose 10) was coerced (against his will) to get rid of a dead mouse found on one of our shelves. Eeewwwww!! Hubster was at work and there was NO WAY I was gonna go anywhere near it!!!! After much screaming and crying on both our parts, anps well as the use of multiple Walmart bags, he flushed it. Having felt terrible (and promised him ANYTHING if he got rid of it), I caved and was reminded that I said I'd get him Zigs. Sigh. So I incorporated the gift for a Happy Valentine's Day, thansk for getting the mouse gift. After that gift, I couldn't NOT get the other two monsters something. So, I guess for one holiday, I was an over achiever. There I said it. I'lll be awaiting my punch. Lol! Love your humor Jen, yur blog rocks! My own blog is a fledgling, but it makes me laugh. That counts, right?? ;)

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  33. Yea, I have to admit I did save that picture of the leprachaun trap because that HAVE to do it for school. It is an actual HW assignment. So even the teacher are teaching our kids to be overachievers! I wanna be an overachiever but just dont have the energy...

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    1. UGH! our school too...in kindergarten!

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  34. I dare ANY PERSON to say with a straight face "I am not a whore for comments".

    I about died from laughter with the lead up to St. Patrick's Day. "Yup, it's a fucking Leprechaun trap." WTF- is it really necessary for these parents to make such a production of every single half ass "holiday" into an art contest? So lame and desperate.

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  35. Maybe the elf will get trapped instead :)
    Seriously though, I fall into the middle of the two categories here. My Valentines were lazy, just two little bags of cute pretzels for each kid. I am the ONLY mom who did not give candy out. I am sure there are some eye rolls over that. But, I did give my son a little gift, a DVD in fact. My mom always gave us a present and some candy on V day. She took the credit, though, not cupid. Oh, I also gave the teachers some candy, but again, my mom always did that, and she is a teacher, so I figure it's ok.

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  36. Wait... what?! Leprechaun traps? Do they bring little people home dressed as Leprechauns? Do they keep them in cages in their kid's rooms? Do they keep them as pets?!? WTF is wrong with these people?

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  37. Who the Eco is Lenny the Leprechaun?
    I agree with you completely about raising the expectations of these kids on a hallmark holiday- how will they feel that year tat they are not lavished with trite crap? Unloved? Worthless? Bah humbug- not worth the future psychological damage!
    I got one V Day present yesterday I DID appreciate... A patient we saved in the ER a few months ago brought the night shift a bunch of Valentine cookies. THAT was awesome.

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  38. I buy the left over valentines at Good Will in March for .25 cents and save them up. When the dreaded day rolls around, my kids get out the box and choose which ones they want to give out. That's it. I do nothing more. No candy...no nothing. Maybe a pencil, but only if it's already in the box. The kids love it and it saves me time and $. Yea!

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  39. My 7 month old got a valentine from her "friend" in daycare. I sort of felt bad that I didn't send them to her "classmates", but I didn't know the rule.
    I miss the days of shoving a few candy hearts into an envelope and licking it shut.
    You're right about the early morning breakfasts and toys trending on FB. Who has the time or energy? And when did kids start getting toys for Valentines day? Damn those Overachieving moms!

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  40. HAHAHA! I just peed my pants! Because even though sometimes I do some of these things, some people are out of control! The leprechaun trap as just sent me over the edge!

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  41. You nailed it again! I want to have lunch with you so I can just sit there and listen to you rant! LOVE this blog!

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  42. One more thing to note is that even though I did get candy and a present every valentine's day, I absolutely forbid my husband to buy me anything now. I HATE the idea of expressing love just because this is the set day to do so. For me it cheapens the sentiment and I would much rather he give me flowers or jewelry just because he wants to, not out of obligation. Actually, forget the jewelry, just let me sleep in and spend the day in my jammies!

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  43. Pinterest did it to me, too! But the lollipop cards were a huge hit at school and only took me about an hour. Know where I overachieved? I bought organic lollis figuring some parents might be all, "We don't eat sugar that has touched machines" and the damned wrappers were too big and covered half the card. I trimmed them.

    When you live in a place where winter lasts 6 months, you gotta do something fun for no good reason.

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  44. At our school the kindergarteners make a leprechaun trap for a school project UGH! Some are super cute that the kids made but some are obviously parent made contraptions. Oh and I pinned several cute valentine ideas then ended up buying heart shaped fruit snacks for the kids to bring to school. Yep, thats me in a nutshell!

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  45. Ooh, he got you the "breaking dawn" DVD... so sweet!

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  46. Seriously, you are my Tina Fey. The closing line will have me laughing all day long. I'm too tired to say something creative or funny at the moment, but thanks for the dose of laughter. I was in dire need of it. The last couple of days have sucked ass. How can it only be Wednesday?!?!

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  47. oh come on, the picture thing is cute... We got one and loved it. What I don't love is that full bag of crap candy and plastic crap toys. The leprachaun trap made me shoot coffee out my nose!! Here we go! And, I agree put the damn Elf away...

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  48. This was my first Valentine's day with my son where he had to bring cards to class (he's f-ing three years old), and we went the tattoo-card route, too. Yes, those f-ers are a PAIN to put together. At his party yesterday we got all the valentines that the obviously more experienced moms (and overachievers, too) made (as you said, these kids sure as hell can't cut out a heart shape, muchless take photos of themselves posed cute on the floor), and I felt so awful. Let's not even get into the treats that people brought for the "party," a.k.a. fifteen minute snack time parents were invited to. I thought a 15-pack of fruit snacks would do--but when I saw all the "whole foods organic juice boxes," and "organic melon fruit salad," I almost puked. Good thing my son didn't even look at a single Valentine card he got...that was worth it...

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  49. As usual, you hit the nail on the head.

    Love the leprechaun trap, BTW. I snorted coffee out my nose on that one.

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  50. I have to admit that for Christmas just for shits and giggles I tried to be an overachieving mom. WTF was I thinking I stood on my feet for hours making freaking cake pops for both my girls classes, teachers, and neighbors. Screw that I am not that Mom I am a make the hubby pick up Valentine's cards from Wal-Mart on Sunday while he was buying my Breaking Dawn movie for Valentines kind of Mom. The hell with the accolades from everyone else. Never again! Also I think you are amazing and check your blog everyday. I also think we could be BFFs along with Tina we would be unstoppable :)

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  51. Haha! I TOTALLY wanted to throw those damn tattoos away too!!!!!

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  52. Christ, we had to make one of those fucking Leprechan traps for my kid last year as a required project for school...for a grade!!! Reading your blog is literally the best part of my day. You just get it! It's like your words are spilling out of my exploding brain....

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  53. I love your post it cracks my ass up. I do have to say though I am a Valentine's box whore. I get off on making bitchen boxes. I don't know what is is. I'm totally not a creative person usually. Although since pinterest I think i'm creative, kind of like people who smoke crack think they are pretty.

    BTW... I hope Tina gets your V day card/letter. I posted it on fb to get it out there for you. I sent it to a a friend who I think has an SNL connection.
    Thanks for the funny shit it keeps me laughing out loud.

    Kristen

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  54. I was dying laughing! So true and so funny!! Thankfully my boys aren't in school yet so they have no idea what a slacker mom I am.

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  55. Shit. My husband and I do not have any children yet (and on another note, how in the hell do you talk them into having kids for shits-sake??) My co-workers were talking about their kids' valentines for school and I got all reminiscent for the days I was in school. So, I got valentines for all of my co-workers. I feel this slightly edges me to the over-achiever category. For shame.

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  56. Ha ha...you crack me up! So true, too. I'm a high school teacher so we don't get into the whole class parties/give & get gifts. Next year give those people you want to punch in the throat these Valentines: Rejected Candy Hearts Valentines

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    1. One year at work I used a new emery board to sand off the messages on conversation hearts and used a red pen to write my own for my co-workers. They really appreciated the homemade touch that "Dog Balls" and "Suck It" brought to their V-Day, LOL!! Take that, overachieving moms!!!!!!!!

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  57. Valentine's Day is over at our school, but on Friday we have MARDI GRAS! OMG.

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  58. A suggestion for all those parents who's kids want to make a leprechaun trap. Let the kids dig into the recycle bin (or in our case the boxes that are too big for the trash can) and make any kind of trap they want. Bait it with whiskey and beer and leave a note saying "Nice try!" It doesn't even have to be nicely written since the "leprechaun" is drunk anyway. Enjoyment for all.

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  60. I LOVE doing crafts and have done some killer valentine's day crafts in the past. I know i do it for my own fun though, lol. I've had to quit doing all those "perfect" things though, and it has readjusted my kids' expectations. This year I did a special valentine in the sack lunches from the beginning of February (10 days). Each one was just a terrible pun that went with some treat in their lunch. I wrote the notes on 3x5 cards with whatever crayon was on hand most mornings, but the kids LOVED it. I also did make pink heart shaped chocolate chip pancakes. They weren't made from scratch, but I totally added the water to the mix and the food coloring ALL BY MYSELF. It was worth it: all 3 of my daughters declared I'm AWESOME. Makes me willing to do something silly for St. Patrick's Day -- because I want to be awesome again.

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  61. Since you say you love comments, I decided to leave one. I love all your posts and could always add my thoughts, but already 51 comments after the post only being up for 30 min? It almost makes me want to punch the people that leave irrelevant comments (like me here). The overachievers annoy the crap out of me too. Yes, it's adorable, but come on! I'm the same girl though that my mom had to upgrade our wedding invitations when she saw my choice (from the very cheapest to the pretty cheap). Who the heck cares? They look fine, they have all the info...perfect!

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  62. Bahahahaha! Hilarious! BTW, that little girl in the lollipop pic does NOT look happy. She has that "my mom made me does this and I feel stupid" grimace on her face that I remember from my childhood. :)

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  63. Maybe you should make an "Elf Trap" and put that on Pintetest..... I would pin the hell out of that!

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  64. I am guilty of being an overachiever... I bought the cards with stickers AND the ones with pencils (on Monday, Feb 13, which is when I also bought the cookies for her party).
    I understand the comments whore thing, too. I love blog comments.
    I only have a Pinterest to share recipies because its expected out of a Mom at the Meat Counter. I don't really have many recipies of my own... Information about meat, but not really recipes. Please don't punch me for my lack of original recipes.

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  65. My 5yo brought home a printed valentine from a girl whose mom had ordered her cards online and had them printed w/ her daughter's name! Expensive AND she can't be bothered to have her daughter sign her name?? She also made some homemade cupcake thing that ended up in the trash. My 5yo HATES candy!

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  66. Jen, i'm pretty sure we are long lost sisters. We were cut from the same mold, have the same foul mouth, and the same sense of humor (or I should say sarcasm). My favorite part of yesterday was when my 7 y.o. son came home and tossed a "cutie" at me (you know, those really sweet looking little tangerine/oranges....) and he says "someone thought that giving me a cutie was a good valentine, they have seeds and they suck.". So it went in the trash along w/ all the other homemade valentines that the kids do NOT care about, and the parent spent hours making. P.S. When you figure out why our parents gave me away, let me know. I'd love to reconnect w/ the "family" ;)

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  67. I am an underachiever and proud of it!! Ha! I waited to buy Valentine's until the night before! And made the lil man's box the same night! He colored it with MARKERS and we used construction paper...not scrapbooking crap or stick-on art, real live CRAYOLAS!!! And his dragon/lizard was cooler looking than anything those overachiever mommies can make!

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  68. I thought the picture with the lollipop was cute, and didn't look like it took too much time (hopefully), but I would still never do it. But a Leprechaun trap?? A LEPRECHAUN TRAP?!?!?! You have got to be fucking kidding me. Who ARE these moms that have all this time (and clearly money) for crafts? I agree with you- they should totally own the reasons why they do it- for praise. Reeks of low self-esteem to me. I would rather do some fun crafty thing with my kid and have it look like absolute crap as long as the kid had fun than do that crap!

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  69. I completely agree that we are setting our children up with high expectations of everything and that nothing will be special. And by we I of course mean other people.

    As for making anything for school - my 4th grader was handed the box of fruit roll up valentine's that he had picked out for his class and a Sharpie. The teacher said he only had to write his name on them, and that is all he did. Last year we bought a bag of candy and stapled it to leftover valentines from previous years. I haven't seen what the 4th grader got, so I don't know where the bar has been set at his school.

    My kids do get a chocolate heart and small gift for Valentine's Day, but that was handed to them as my husband and left to go to dinner last night.

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  70. It is posts like this one which make me appreciate my infertility. If I were a parent in today's world I might have to shoot myself. When I was a kid, my mom bought these extremely tiny, post-card like valentines - they were usually in the shape of a heart and about 2" by 2" in size. They didn't open. They didn't have tatoos or suckers or toys. We handed them out to everyone in the class. That was it. No party. No expensive gifts. Certainly no heart shaped pancakes.

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  71. ha! My husband lucked out this year because I had a ton of things planned out thanks to Pinterest and then I got hit with the flu! My kids got lucky that Cupid brought what he brought! I try, but never quite make it into the realm of the overachievers even though we have Cupid, the leprechaun, the Easter bunny, the Witch or the Goblin at Halloween! Thank goodness for summer! Yes, I admit it! I want to be the "Queen Mom"! bahahaha!!!!

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  72. That's so funny - I posted yesterday on FB asking when exactly it went from a day for lovers to another day to shower kids with treats/cards/gifts. It seems that a few people - mostly those who received gifts from parents when they were kids themselves - declared that Valentine's Day is an appropriate day to tell ANYONE you love that you love them. And we're Americans, so I guess we tell people we love them by giving them unhealthy food that makes them fat and buying them crap.

    Now, from the crafting perspective, we are noncustodial divorced parents and we had our kids this past weekend. So I came up with some V-Day crafts for them to make rather than plop them in front of the TV and NOT spend time with them like every other day. We melted candy in the microwave and they squeezed it from the bags into molds (really not that hard, although they weren't Lego molds; I'd love to find those). And they made "scratch-off" Valentines like lottery tickets. But they're 9, 11 and 13 and quite capable of running with something once we set out the supplies. It sure was better than them beating each other up.

    I agree with you though - the kids whose parents shower them with Valentine's gifts and flowers are in for some really unhappy relationships in their future.

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  73. THANK YOU! OMG, freaking annoying people. Our kids are getting SO spoiled. Every minute they turn around someone is giving them something for nothing. Valentine's day...here's a huge bag of candy from Collin. Birthday parties....here's a gift from the birthday boy for coming to our party (what!?), Easter...more candy, stuffed animals, balloons...Walking around the mall? Here's a coupon for a free icee in the food court...Going to the doctor or dentist? Gift or candy afterwards. Then throw in Halloween, Christmas...it's ridiculous. No wonder our kids feel entitled. Thanks for making me laugh. :)

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  74. I noticed moms handing their kids boxes of chocolates for the teachers at preschool this morning. DAMN IT, I didn't think of that! And they are not allowed to give candy (fine by me), so I saw all kinds of clever valentines with pencils...these kids are 3, they don't give a shit about pencils. But the moms sure look on top of things...

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  75. I have to admit...when the kids were little, I made a heartshaped meatloaf served with a side of pink mashed potatoes. And yes, the milk was pink. And green milk for St Patty's day, but hey they weren't old enough for the green beer, and I am actually Irish, so I think that one's okay. But those people who stay up all night making valentines bigger and better every year.. ugh! You hit the nail on the head with that one! Those moms are doing it for themselves and for the glory, not for their kids. And certainly not to just put a checkmark in that box as all of us real people did!

    By the way, the only reason I wrote any of this is to help feed your blog fettish, Jen. Hope it was good for you! <3 (Sorry, just had to leave a heart at the end for you!)

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  76. I know NoFo. I think that overachiever is my neighbor! I knew there was something about her that bugged the crap out of me... Beeyatch.

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  77. I'll own it, I am that person. But I'm only doing what I wish I had growing up, a mom that spends her time doing things for her kids, not idling her time away watching soaps and leafing through a Penny's catolog.

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  78. I just had this conversation with a friend. She asked what I was doing for the kids on Valentine's Day. I said nothing. You would of thought I said I was going to disembowel them and then spit on their corpses.

    I hate that people think they have to go over the top to make their childn's life memorable when in reality, it's all for their selfish reason. Good post!

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  79. That punch goes to me and I blame Pinterest for the "Will you O'fish'ally be my Valentine cards my 2 year old gave out, and the Valentine pretzel bites I made. And she did help with it-she ate the ones that didn't look good ;-)

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  80. Well who the hell are you friends with? I think you should delete those friends and become my friend, I am a classic under-achiever. Many of my friends posted great stuff that they did/got yesterday too, I just moved through my Facebook wall really fast. I will admit I bought my kids some candy yesterday. I was at Target and there was nothing left except those big kisses and the boxes said #1 teacher. I should have bought them. And then when my kids asked me how they were #1 teachers, I would have replied with "You have taught me that I can have so much joy when you are in school." I bought non Valentines peanut butter cups instead. I will also admit that I usually buy those gross little gold coin chocolate candies for St Patricks Day. I just leave them on the kitchen table for the kids. I might turn their milk green but probably not.

    I LOVE the idea of an Elf Trap for Pinterest. Someone needs to get on that.

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  81. A LEPRECHAUN TRAP???? Are you effing kidding me?

    Shout out to the hubs, though - way to come through with the pizza and DVD, Did he actually sit down and watch it with you?

    Thanks for the laughs!

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  82. Oh the pressure! My daughter asked me to buy gifts for her teachers and I said no way! She chose to make handmade gifts for them, which I thought was a better gift anyway, straight from the heart!

    The leprechaun trap will be on our list of things to do, as this is something the school has decided the kids must do.

    Life use to be so simple, now my kids feel pressured to bring in gifts for all the holidays and are upset when they aren't a part of the must buy a gift for everything crowd.

    I am happy with handmade card on valentines day and keeping it simple, the day for me is about love not the pressure of overachieving.

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  83. Here's a comment for you, since you love them :)

    I have some great material from FB "friends" that you'd have a FIELD DAY with...from ridiculous status updates to one overachiever who documents (and shares) EVERYTHING about her child, including some embarrassing medical issues and potty training details. The poor child is going to be disappointed in the years to come. Why you would set your child up for inevitable disappointment down the road is beyond me!!! Don't get me wrong, I love children and I enjoy making each one in my life feel very special, but this is beyond anything I've ever seen! God for it they have anothe child...there is no way they will be able to duplicate the attention for a sibling.

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  84. I did the store bought valentines with tatoos for my 2 boys. The kindergartner had parents who made freaking goody bags like they had been at a birthday party. Mind you my child is in a dual teaching classroom so that means they made them for 40 kids!! Of course my third grader came home with a few items but nothing extreme, those parents are obviously over it.

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  85. Here's a belated V Day gift for you...another comment. I too am a singleton, but I love your posts. I see all the hoopla V Day has become at school and work and I can't get over it! Yesterday my local Dunkin Donuts was OUT OF DONUTS at 8:45 am! Donuts for V Day? Peeps you really should have planned your gift giving a little bit better. Donuts aren't gonna get you out of the doghouse with your 'work-wife'.

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  86. I'm am teaching my kids young that I will NOT do everything for them. The 4yr old learned yesterday at 7am, "Oh, you didn't do your Valentine Hearts for your friends at school? Well, here's a Sharpie, better start writing your name, call me when you're done and I'll help peel the stickers so you can stick them on the front." She was not happy and in the end I wrote her name on probably half, but she did learn that 1) mommy won't do it because you didn't and 2) procrastination is not good. The 2yr old and 1yr old were given pink and red paper and some crayons to color on and send to grandparents, godparents, aunts & uncles and cousins. It lets them get the "coloring bug" out as well as swiftley disposes of their art work so as not to clutter up my walls.

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  87. Well, Jen, I am happy to report I am leading the underachievers. Not only did I send store-bought, kid-assembled, Valentines to school; I also signed up for my 4th grader's party but neglected to find a sitter for the babe during his nap time so I didn't attend, granted I was given an out by the teacher a few days before. Truth be told, I just didn't feel like going to the dang party.

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  88. You and your blog bring me joy. You are an overachieving writer. You also outdo yourself and others with honesty.

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  89. As a teacher, I hated "holidays". All they did was rev the kids up and make it even more impossible to get anything done. When I taught 5th grade I would tell my students we are having a tiny "thing" at the end of the day. When I moved schools I was told that I HAD to do 4 parties a year. What??? O_O And they had to start at around 3:00. What the what??? What was I going to do for an hour and a half with a bunch of sugared up kids??? I'm so glad I don't teach in a classroom anymore.

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  90. I love reading your posts and I will try to comment more often. I went to the store this morning and Valentine's day was out and EASTER was in! Those poor employees spent the whole night putting away VD and lining the shelves with easter candy... Easter isn't till April.

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  91. Sorry...I made those adorable-pics-of-the-kids-holding-the-real-lollipops cards for both of my kids. Honestly, I did it because it WAS easier...and cheaper. We had a giant bag of dum dums and I'm a photographer and had to put a print order in anyway. Soooooooooo..rather than sign a million little cards (I have 2 kids in the same daycare), I just printed out the pics and stuck the lollipops in them. Much easier...and much cheaper. And every person who told me how much they adored my idea was pointed in the direction of Pinterest...because that's where I stole it from. Oh, and I also plastered my contact info on them hoping to drum up some business :-)

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  92. About that last image... WTF!!!

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  93. Anonymous10:30

    Yesterday was my first valentines day school experience as a mom. I too got the same valentines that you must put the tattoo in!!! My kids came home with so much crap! I'm not giving in either. Take the valentine and heart sticker kid and call it a day!!

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  94. As usual you made me laugh and I totally agree with you. Both my boys came home with tons of personalized and creative booty yesterday, making me feel guilty that I just sent a bag of Skittles for the class party.

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  95. No wonder America is fat! We will find any reason to eat candy!

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  96. Tiffany10:31

    Yep, I'm totally guilty of doing the photo of me holding a lollipop for my girls yesterday. But I was out of town on a business trip, so when you dump an enormous amount of mom guilt on me, I tend to overachieve. :-/

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  97. You made me snort my soda! The class next to my daughters 4th grade class had a freakin sundae bar, complete with all red toppings, yesterday. What the hell, are we are Dave and Busters or something?
    And the leprechaun trap scares me. But it would be funny if someone bought a hamster, sprayed it green, trapped it in there...then when the kids opened it in the morning, a crazed leprechaun. That's some funny shit.

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  98. Since you're a self-confessed comment whore (so am I by the way), here's a nice long one for you:

    When my son was one, I went out and bought him a huge teddy bear, bigger than he was, with a heart on it for his first Valentine's Day. He grew to call him Val and still sleeps with his arms wrapped around him (he's almost 6 now). So my daughter, who's 4, wants to know where is her 'Val'? So I went this year to buy her an equivalent and found a huge soft pink dog with a heart tattooed on its ass. But then I knew my son would expect something too. So I got him a Lego Hero Factory figure. And now all of a sudden, I've created a mini-Xmas in February for my kids. I didn't mean to. And I feel bad for all my kids' friends' parents (and people like you) who are going to hate me. But at least we (in the UK) haven't gone as far as exchanging Valentines in schools, etc. That's pressure I just couldn't bear. And as for that bloody leprechaun trap... Isn't St. Patrick's Day a grown-up holiday? For getting drunk and kissing random Irishmen? Or is that just me?

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  99. Amanda N.10:32

    My kid came home with one of those lollipop-holding picture things! The worst part? She announced that she wants to do them next year! Sigh...you might have to punch me because I'll probably go along with it out of "underachieving mommy guilt."

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  100. Oh boy, I am so guilty of doing things like this. It's the teacher in me. However, I have recently been in awe and disgust for the amount of moms out there giving OUTLANDISH tooth fairy gifts for lost teeth. A girl on my FB feed wrote, "Tooth Fairy finally caved. Little Eeyore got his IPod touch!" Vomit. I get more annoyed with the monetary value of these gifts that many parents can clearly not afford, rather than the effort ot takes for some to do "cutesy" things. Great post.

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    1. Are you kidding! The tooth fairy brought an itouch? What did freaking Santa bring, a new suv? My kids get $1 for each tooth, once my son had one extracted and he got $2 for pain and suffering. Every time he loses a tooth he tries to say he wants $5 and I roll my eyes at him. We have one fat guy who brings gifts once a year and that's it!

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  101. I so agree. Let's just get back to the good old Hallmark promoted ROMANTIC holiday between two adults who love each other. WHY does everything have to be about our kids? Are (their) relationships so pathetic that they can't focus on it for one effing day and they have to 'make it for the kids?'

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    1. Amen! Same with St. Patrick's Day: it's for adults to get ass-hat drunk and puke green beer, not leprechaun catcher kits. And what happens when the kids don't catch the leprechaun? Will these over-achiever parents feel guilty that the kids feel badly that they never caught the leprechaun, so in it's place is a new fancy iPad (cause they already got an iTouch from the tooth fairy, you know)?!?

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  102. First of all - I love your blog more than you could possibly know. I have told several people about it because it's not every day you find someone as funny as you. So I think more people need to be subjected to it. I want to comment every time, but then I forget. So since you mentioned your love for comments, I thought I probably should this time. I am completely with you on this Valentine's Day bull. There is no need to shower your kids with gifts on this day. Christmas was 6 seconds ago - I think they are fine.

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  103. Thank GOD they make store bought Valentines in a box - otherwise my kids would have very sad looking Valentines -- NOT an overachiever!!

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  104. About 10 days before every holiday I begin setting the stage for my son and husband, with comments like: "Oh look! Another "Support Hallmark and imports of cheap crap from China" Day!" If I ever went a little insane and tried dressing up their lives with holiday elves and leprecaun traps my husband would most likely create a fake personal finance crisis and demand I go back to work so I would be more concerned about how laundry was going to get done...Or he'd invite me out to lunch with a "friend of his" who turns out to be a Psychiatrist whose PhD thesis focused on "Bored Housewives in America." Yeah, they got bacon, eggs and Pillsbury dough cinnamon rolls for breakfast on a pink tablecloth, and a small box of chocs and a card each, and I was DONE. :)

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  105. I'm not much of a commenter, though this is my second comment on a blog this morning, but I digress. First of all what is with the freaking gifts? My daughter is 4 and came home with some many bags of candy. As I sit here and eat all the good stuff, I think why? I sent in a kit kat- I bought on sale after Halloween thank you very much- with a heart sticker and MADE each of my kids write their names on the sticker. I will say I do usually make crafty things for the kids but damn Christmas wiped me out and it's Mardi GRAS here so I thought no one would acre about valentines day! Wow, but in their defense it was pretty much just the four year old class, not my second or third grader parents. I am simply over extended, and while I know you wrote whole blog about being busy with stupid stuff, I have been running crazy, because I am so busy with stupid stuff right now. I own it at least. I like to do crafts and love getting the complements, I own that too! However there's a down side too, like when v-day comes and you just send in a kitkat (which by the way I think was the first thing eaten by any of the children) then people are like "just a kit kat huh?".

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  106. Seriously though Jen, we need the overachievers to do all the work. What would our kids come home with if not for them? I drove my kids to the store and bought they Valentines they picked out and then I checked out of Valentine's day 2012. My son filled out all his and then didn't want to stick the sticker on them because he wanted to keep them even though he had like 20 extra ones. A kid after my own heart.

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  107. Jeez!! Never thought of a Leprachaun trap for Lenny who only pees green in my toilet on St. Pats Day! Saliente!

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  108. JenG10:43

    OOOhhhh.... I do love you Jen! This is my first post/comment (so sorry, please forgive me?). It's funny, that as soon I picked up my girls yesterday and we went thru their V-day loot, I thought of YOU! There was a snack pack of 60 calorie mini-pop tarts. This got me thinking that this was probably from the kid's mom who packs organic pita bread, turkey, grapes and lemon water for her kiddo in one of those $50 lunch boxes. My kiddos of course said NOOO THANK YOU, gave it to me (I shamefully enjoyed it.) and continued to look for the chocolate and suckers. And them some of my FB friends posted what THEY (the moms, of course) did for V-day (yes, the kid-holding-the-sucker picture)- which I admit I came closed to doing that one... but saw more time and trouble than what I wanted to put MYSELF through. Instead one kiddo got the tattoo v-day cards, which she gladly wanted to put together (whew!) and then the other kiddo got the pull-apart-write-your-name-on-the-back easy peasy ones. Then I signed up to donate to their parties yesterday. I love how the room mom's are so very specific on what to ask for: "100% Apple Juice boxes - 1 dozen." What? You mean no vodka?!? And yes, my kiddos asked me the same thing: Why didn't we get our teachers something? Susie and Johnny brought Ms. Smith something. Crap. Well, we were out and about last night and on the way home, I mentioned that we needed to stop by the grocery store because we needed a few necessities: bread, eggs, etc. We walk into the store and low and behold - there's all the v-day goodies almost completely gone, but what's left over - is ON SALE, of course. Okay, I tell my kiddos, you want to get your teacher something - go grab that heart-shaped box full of (nasty) chocolate! Yes, the ones that are on the end-cap for a buck. Yep, bet the teachers are talking about me today!! Guess I get the mother-of-the-year award! :)

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  109. Here's how "underachieving" I am- I, too, bought the valentines with the tiny tattoo. When I saw that I was required to tear each one off the sheet, and put it in the tiny slits on each valentine, I said "NO WAY", and put a sticker over the "A tattoo for you" area... My daughter was none the wiser :)

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  110. Anonymous10:45

    either you were lucky enough to have a "cool" teacher who didn't care about st. paddy's day, or your kids aren't old enough yet...but we have made the leprechaun traps for ALL 3 kids in kinder and 1st grades. (that's 6!!!) underachieving mom here too. the sucker in the store bought valentine was sufficient, unlike the the mom who filled baggies with homemade chex mix, clipped it with a clothes pin and put pipe cleaner antanae on top to look like a butterfly. anyone else want to puke already?!?

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  111. My 15 year old came home saying almost every girl in high school was walking around with a huge teddy bear. Some were also carrying roses, chocolates and spoke of the gifts in their lockers that they just couldn't carry, because the teddy bear and roses were 'so big' or 'so heavy'. Ridiculous. My mom and Grandmother bought the kids candy hearts and I told them that Valentines Day was a Hallmark holiday, but to enjoy the chocolate. Honestly, I feel the same way about Mother's Day and especially Father's Day.

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  112. I agree with you own up to the fact that you are ass kissing and an attention white. My kids came home with more candy then Christmas. It is insane. I work a full time job I don't have five minutes to dust the house. I can't sit there and thing of cute ways to say "be my Valentine".

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  113. Anonymous10:46

    Ok, comment whore, here is a comment from someone who has never commented before, but totally enjoys your blog, a comment virgin if you will. I am a total underachiever and I would never even attempt any of these ideas. I have visions of melted legos and that is just a mess I do not want to clean up. My mother in law is an overachiever and I am not sure what my hubs sees in me, growing up with a mother like that. She and my SILs do not quite understand why I would not try these great things. (I am totally L-A-Z-Y, that's why.)I guess I will always be the proverbial black sheep of his family. I love them anyway for all of their overachieving craziness.

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  114. Anonymous10:47

    First allow me to say, I can’t think of a single time I’ve read your blog when I haven’t exploded in laughter to the point of my kids yelling down the hall, “Mom, are you okay?” So, kudos to your dry, sarcastic wit. I enjoy reading what you have to say tremendously so thank you for sharing!

    About the Valentine’s Day post… Wow! I really chucked, not just chuckled – I was alone in the house but I laughed so loud I still haven’t seen the cat. He’ll come out at some point I’m sure. That being said, please allow me to share my FB post for Valentine’s Day. 2/14/12: “Happy V.D. everyone! Uh, wait…that sounds a little cheesy... Oh gosh, that sounds even worse. Happy Valentine’s Day! Obviously, there are some occasions you shouldn’t abbreviate.”

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  115. Here's a comment because you love comments! Please comment on my comment because I like it when people do that. ;)

    My kids are both fifteen months, and I was actually just excited to give them a valentine that played music or monkey sounds (which scared my Monkey boy to death of course) and the little heart shaped boxes of candy I remembered as a kid.

    I do think green milk is cute, but not at the expense of my sanity!

    I posted your Tina Fey love letter, too. If you have lunch with her, does that mean I get to come, too?

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  116. I admit I made my kids homemade candy, but I did it because I like the chocolate, I like doing it and I thought they would too. I just got the standard molds, nothing fancy. I also did it because I hate the store bought stuff and we just don't need more of it! I didn't make fancy valentines or get gifts this year. Hell, they weren't even at my house - they were with their dad. My kids handed out store bought valentines with nothing attached (my son had bookmarks - I thought that was cool) and my 4 year old (yes, 4) was the only one who didn't include a treat for her class. My 2 year old at least had a couple other kids who only gave a valentine and no gift. Half of my son's class gave out goodie bags and he has 20 kids. Absurd.

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  117. I can totally get on board with doing crafty things with my kid for holidays to decorate our home, because I like decorating and doing crafty things. But I'm all set going insane making valentines for his (future) class. If I saw one more of those pictures with the lollipop through it yesterday, I was going to lose my mind.

    Anything St. Patrick's Day though...green milk, leprechaun footprints, etc...totally on board with that. I'm actually busting out the green and St. Pat's decorations for my house today.

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  118. Anonymous11:04

    Thank you for the leprechaun trap picture-- we end up being forced to make those stupid things as a "family project" for school and I never know what to do (and the recycled one has fallen apart finally...). That doesn't look too complicated...

    I am guilty of giving teachers valentines, but that's only because I was a teacher and dealing with other people's kids all day should at least earn them some chocolate :-). Store-bought, of course!

    I remember as a kid no one wanted to be caught dead carrying in "homemade" anything. What the heck happened to those days?!

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  119. Praise Jesus....I'm not alone!

    I almost peed my pants at the teacher being your sweetheart.

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  120. Colleen in Podunk11:05

    First time reading ur blog. I've been snooping on ur FB page. :) Love it, love this also! My kids r grown, have 6 grandkids and one on the way and I am finishing raising a 15y/o stepson. We had a quiet V dinner and I got the boy and Hub chocolates because they LOVE candy. :) I was a stay at home mom with my four girls and we never did the overachiever stuff. But, this year my oldest daughter had to have a special conference with my 6 y/o grandson's teacher because his school has decided to NOT celebrate ANY holidays. I think that's too extreme also. So, yesterday, his class got a lil V day party with cookies that my daughter provided. And she works three jobs. :) Either extreme, imo, is ridiculous.
    I'm def. a new fan. :D

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  121. OMG I want to be the crafty homemade parent, but considering I have a 2 year old and a 2 month old we went the store made way. But you just wait, next year the baby will be walking and somewhat independent! I've pinned tons of cute stuff for every holiday and 2013 will be the year of homemade cuteness! Don't worry I will totally own it, I want to make cute unique holiday things for my kids to enjoy and then destroy! And I will forever have the awesome pictures of my little tots with my holiday crafts (eternal bragging rights to me)!

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  122. For Julia and Patrick, we did leftover store bought Valentine's from last year. We had already used the pencils, so my kids friends got Valentines with pencil holes and no pencils. Matty didn't like the Valentine's we had and I told him we weren't going out, so he cut hearts out of construction paper and that was that. They looked like crap, but he loved them and that was that. This year, Valentine's Day coincided with the 100th day of school, and don't even get me started on that fiasco.
    http://amysreallife.wordpress.com

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  123. Did you hear about how some moms "destroy" a room in their house for St. Patrick's day, leaving mini green foot prints and chocolate gold coins around so it looks like little bastrd leprechaun did it.....yea. A lot of free time, apparently.

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  124. Thank god for you, Jen. I looked at all those fucking heart shaped cookies, pancakes and cutesy frigging valentines on my wall and wanted to vomit all day. I got my husband a card (and he was lucky at that) that said "Be mine, dammit" and a 100 rounds of ammo. He threw a card and a bar of Hershey's symphony at me when he walked in from work. My kids were both home sick, one with influenza a, and I was reallllly fucking happy *that* day was over. Thanks for posting, Jen, you make my day every day.

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  125. Anonymous11:12

    I bought my kid a butterfinger heart. He's 17 and I need all the cool mom points I can get since it's clearly mom job to ruin his life. I went all Pinterest for hubs though, made the 52 reasons I love you cards. Decorated the box, filled it with Reese's hearts and kisses. Got a couple of movies for him (To my Superhero.gag.)Took me daaays. He's going through a bad patch and I felt like he could use the stroking. He bought me a card and something that was more for him than me. (Don't ask) Thanks hon. I should have taken the hint last year when he sent me an e-card. I'm done, I am now officially a Valentine's day hater. I think I'll go buy me a big bouquet of leftover flowers. Asshat.
    That's my rant. I'd like to punch him in the throat.

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  126. Anonymous11:13

    I have friends who buy their kids gifts for valentine's day. They get cards from their friends and besides I show them I love them by not killing them when they spring school projects due the next day on me late at night. My kids are lucky if I remember to tell them to wear green St. Paddy's day. After all of that I have wonderful, caring children who know that "entitlement" is a dirty word. Chill people!

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  127. Anonymous11:13

    I've been hearing about the ridiculous valentine card "project" from my friends with kids in school. My little one is not there yet, thankfully. But I can tell you when she is in school there will be NONE OF THAT CRAP! And St Pat's Day doesn't happen in my house. I'm not Irish and I refuse to pretend to be just to create more work for myself.

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  128. My panties were all in a bunch about those Facebook pictures. I was so miffed I resorted to passive aggression. Who arranges their freaking Valentine's gifts and then posts pictures of them? Seriously!
    But a leprechaun trap?? Bahahahahaha!!!

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  129. I am a preschool teacher and I am dying at reading this post!!!! I was flabbergasted yesterday at the absurdity that was my class party!
    I made little bags with my class to hold their cards and treats and I ended up needing to fill a GROCERY BAG for each child's loot! And don't get me started on the ones who brought in their own "homemade" card boxes. These kids are THREE!
    They did NOT make a giant Fire-Breathing-Two Story dragon by themselves. No way. Ridiculous.

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  130. There was NO overachieving on my part, I will have you all know! (Though, a leprechaun trap ?? Now, I MIGHT have to try that - but maybe with a mouse trap... so I can kill the little bugger.) Anyway, we did plan - the most I do for overachieving is purchasing my valentines a year early so I don't have to pay full price next year. I wait until they are 70% off - this year, people in my daughter's 7th grade class got Dora the Explorer Valentines. . . That's what you get around here! I got flowers, but I told the hubby that I didn't want anything else - and that's precisely what I got. It's ridiculous how much crap is out there for this holiday - I don't mind getting mushy for a bit, but it's not OK to spend hundreds of dollars on flowers, chocolates, and jewelry. Thank you for your Blog - I'm so glad that I am not the only one that feels this way...

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  131. Okay, I'll comment since you love comments.

    I like to do crafty things. It's because I'm a SAHM. And I see it as part of my job description. When I was in the work force, I tried to go above and beyond and I see being a SAHM as my career now so I treat it as such.

    I also genuinely like to do all this stuff because I like making memories for my kids. They will have the rest of their adult life for crappy, mediocre days. But as long as I have control of their days, I want some of them to have some bad ass memories.

    And the last reason, I have a son with special needs. And he almost died. So every holiday or special occasion that there is a cause for celebration, I'm celebrating, dammit. We're giving out special Valentines with lollipops, I'm giving the teachers chocolate chip cookie dough truffles, all of it! I'm doing this because I feel like this part of it is a right of passage that I was almost denied.

    And because I want the teachers to like me. :-)

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    Replies
    1. I agree with you 100%!

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    2. I say that ShaunaQ gets a "bye" - a pass if you will - since she has the best reason to celebrate. But the REST OF THEM need to knock it off!

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    3. But you OWN it, so that's OK in my book :)

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  132. Jenne11:21

    Ok, punch me because I actually think the photo of the kid holding the lollipop is cute - but it also means I don't have to stay up signing 28 valentines with my left hand so it looks like my daughter's horrendous writing! Photo = who it's from = punch, slide, go!

    RE: room mothers, "helpers" and class parties. (you're going to do a post on those sometime, right?) Holy Cow! Find some other way to validate yourself, OK? I had one who didn't want to be "the" room mother, but showed up for Halloween party with 4 boxes of extravagant goodie bags, music, crafts, etc. I smiled politely and let her do her thing. As my hubs like to say, all you get when women have a pissing contest is a lot of wet shoes.

    I will totally "own" my great idea for 5th grade valentine's party! ;) It's such an awkward age, and I was trying to downplay the luuuuv part of the day. I found an idea online, somewhere, that was perfect and a total hit.

    Each kid got a plain white t-shirt. I stuck file folders between the front & the back of the shirt. (We now have very colorful folders in drawers here at work.) They each got a Sharpie (I swear, it took longer to distribute the appropriate colors than anything else!) and traced their hands on the back of their shirt. Then, they rotated around the room and wrote a positive word on the back of every single classmate's shirt: creative, athletic. artistic, kind, and the ubiquitous 'nice' (which my daughter got 17 of, even though we encouraged them to use as many different words as possible). I thoughtfully provided a list of 60 or so suitable words ;)

    The principal and vice-principal make the rounds of all the parties, and when they walked in, the room was 95% silent, as everyone was concentrating VERY hard on what they wrote. They had never seen anything like it!

    The kids LOVED it! They put their teacher's name on it, with the year, and they all put them on to wear home that day, after 30 pictures of their "pat on the back" shirts.

    I bought adult larges for everyone - no fussing with sizes. Depending on the child, they could wear them as a regular shirt, or a sleepshirt, or over leggings - whatever. And my daughter says that some of the kids still wear their shirts in middle school, and everyone always asks about them, and for the most part, thinks they're cool.

    30 large white tshirts: $85
    2 sets of Sharpie markers: $40
    30 file folders: $0 "borrowed" from work
    Totally smokin' the uber-overachiever "helper" room mom: priceless

    And yes, I paid for it all myself. I never got any $$ from parents for class parties, but frankly, it was worth it when you consider the cost of a goodie bag full of crap that ends up in the trash anyway.

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  133. Anonymous11:23

    I'm Irish so a leprechaun trap is fair game in this house. But Valentine's Day, not so much. With 3 children in elem. school this year, we did the store bought candy valentines for the first time. Saved me from making about 90 valentines and it was the best thing I've ever done.

    My hubs insisted that we sould buy each other something nice. I told him GODIVA chocolates. I bought him a box of GODIVA chocolates to prove I love him and he bought me a box of Russel Stover chocolates. NOT COOL. After 12 years of marriage and 3 kids - - whatever. He knows I'm not going anywhere so he can get away with it.

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  134. Ok, so I was one of the moms that did the kids holding a sucker picture, but I will fully admit I did it for me because it was cute. My kids are still in daycare, so I figure my time is running out to have any say in the Valentines they hand out, so pictures we did!

    But I totally agree on people going overboard on everything now! Moms having big extravagant balloon displays and a pile of gifts waiting for them when they wake up on V-day? No way!

    And who the hell determined that the Elf on the shelf had to be naughty anyway? That bugs me. Kids you have to be good or else this elf will tell Santa. Meanwhile, lets laugh and get all excited to see the disaster the elf made with the flour last night. Aww a snow angel out of flour!

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  135. No overachieving here whatsoever! We went to the nearest store on Monday after school and they picked a simple box of valentines. Addressed them and that was it. I don't care what anyone says, it's not a day for children and I don't even understand why it's celebrated in schools!

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  136. I became a follower just so I could comment. I completely agree with you. My kids somehow got the idea that every holiday they get a present. I had to inform them it isn't Christmas, they aren't getting anything. Luckily when my son brought home more candy than should be allowed (some kid gave out those super rope licorice things. 3 ft. of candy- seriously) my son shared every last bit of it with his siblings who aren't in school yet.

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  137. I always feel like I should do something with/for my son. Especially this year, as we've moved. But I have to admit, I was a tad happy he got sick on Sunday and the ped told us on Monday to keep him home an extra day. That meant he missed V-Day at school. :)

    Am envious of your heart shaped pizza and DVD. I got a round pizza, and we watched a DVD we already own!

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  138. I.LOVE.THIS POST! I felt a bit bad last night when my boys said: "Look what Daddy got us for a Valentine! What did you get us?!?" To which, I let out a little laugh, and told them I bought them a house in June and am in the process of redoing their rooms, they received a ton of Christmas gifts from “Santa” and, maybe the most and best “Valentine’s Day gift” they might ever receive, I didn't lose my temper that morning when they were testing my last nerve telling me how I should go on The Bachelor (gag me) because "You need a man, mommy. You can’t just wait around for Kenny Chesney, you know, he might not find you attractive" (Um…yes I can and yes he will, it’s my dream world, stop being the fun police and stomping all over my dreams boys!). Anyhow...not only do I love this post for the simple fact that I feel less like a crap mom for not getting my boys a gift but also because I am SO SICK of all of these fake and over commercialized "holidays." http://thevowofreboundchastity.blogspot.com/2012/02/baby-choke-out.html

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  139. Anonymous11:34

    I hear ya on the overachiever thing. A mom made 40 cake pops for her 18 month old's Valentines. Really!? These are for toddlers for heavens sake. And since I'm ranting I would like to share how romantic my hubby was for v-day. As we are walking around Target yesterday, he asks me if I want flowers or something. Umm hello, it's 1:00pm on Valentine's Day. I smiled sweetly and said no thanks, but you may want to something for dinner if you plan on eating tonight.

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  140. Liza M.11:35

    I don't have kids and a lot of my friends don't either, so I have to add my own throat punch here: women who have a compulsion to post what they recieved for Valentine's Day on Facebook, along with the words, "My boyfriend/husband/lesbian partner surprised me with a dozen red roses! I am so blessed to have the best boyfriend/husband/lesbian partner ever!" I am in a serious, long-term relationship and yet I don't get this. And it annoys the shit out of me. First of all, it wasn't a surprise, dummy. It was Valentine's Day. And secondly, I thought the woman who posted 3 minutes before you had the best boyfriend/husband/lesbian partner ever? It's like over achievers for relationships. Only they could turn a holiday into a contest ...

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  141. Anonymous11:36

    Amen.
    As a Valentine's treat, my kids got red jello for dessert (which I picked up at the last minute thinking "I should probably do something to make today a little different") And they loved it.

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  142. Jeez, what 'overachieving' comments today. It took me freakin' forever to read to the end and get down here to post my own. F*ck those overachievers very much. Oh I saw green stuff in Wallymart the other day and had to puke twice (once for just being there, wtf was my wife thinking?).

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  143. Anonymous11:38

    In fact for St. Patrick's Day I may go crazy and get green jello.

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  144. LOL!

    I, too, spent my precious free time poking cheap tattoos into the slits of my kid's valentines. We DID give the teachers chocolates, but they were a dollar per box... no Godiva here. Truthfully, Valentine's Day is fun, but there are too many people that go overboard. Hubby and I don't- he brought home news that he was trading in his truck for a bigger truck. Romantic, huh?

    (He also brought me flowers, but he used them to sweeten the truck deal.)

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  145. If it makes any of you feel better - I can't remember which kid gave me what 2 minutes after I write the thank you note. And I much prefer the mangled little store-bought Valentines or crooked kid-made hearts to anything that a mom could come up with.

    And I'm not eating 24 boxes of chocolate - or probably even 1, so don't feel bad about that either. I'm just going to give it to a neighbor. Truly - I appreciate the Christmas and end of the year stuff, but I don't really need it and I don't hold lack of anything against your child.

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  146. Anonymous11:47

    So true! It seems like every minor holiday is treated like Christmas nowadays. My child is getting gifts/candy from the in-laws (especailly grandparents) for every holiday, big and small. I won't be surprised if she gets a gift for St. Patrick's day... But I refuse to buy gifts for any holiday other than Christmas. And Easter is just a traditional Easter basket. It's getting out of control. It wasn't like this when I was growing up!!!

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  147. Okay so I'm on the fence here. I attempted cute Pinterest V-day things for the kids (aged 4.5 and 2), and they came out okay though not awesome at all. And I did cut their Eggos into hearts at the last minute and serve them with pink milk. And I did post them on Facebook because, what the hell is the point otherwise?? To see the kids faces light up? WTF they barely noticed! I admit to being a comment whore and do things simply to take pictures of them and post them to Facebook. There. I said it.

    But that damn elf. No, I don't get it. Leprechaun trap? WTF is that?? LOL

    Oh and no gifts here but I will point out V-day is one of the few that parents can actually make a claim on the gifts their kids get. Easter Bunny? Santa? No that was ME up at 2 am trying to do all this for you. Gaah.

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  148. First, thank you very much for the hit at the overachievers! I am a mom that travels and if I remotely remember the teachers it must be an off day!

    Second, I am on the band wagon of admitting that I enjoy being told that I made someone's day by trying to go the little extra to make a mundane moment special. Aw, who am I kidding. I love being told I can do creative things! ;-)

    Keep up the great work! I love it when I can laugh out loud reading your posts!

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  149. Nothing but the "Star Wars from-a-box" valentines for us. One of the moms in my son's class actually baked heart shaped buns with fortune cookie-like paper messages inside but didn't make it well known. I know a few children ate paper yesterday.

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  150. I love reading your stuff. I am far from an over achiever but I do enjoy hearing someone ask me "how do you do it?". That really hasn't happened much before this past year though. :)

    http://theothersmith05.blogspot.com/2012/02/please-dont-punch-me-in-throat.html

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  151. Man, you are so the voice that lives in my head (and occasionally escapes through my vocal cords)! Thank God my youngest is in middle school now and the damn class parties are a thing of the past. At the last one, I thought I was mom-of-the-damn-year, because I remembered to buy those V-D cards at half-price the year before! Then my daughter brought home a backpack full of crap, including about six things that it looked like the supermom has spent the mortgage on! The WORST though was the elaborate card, necklace, and handmade ruffle doll that she received from the little boy who liked her. I couldn't decide which was creepier - the doll itself or the fact that Mom was so invested in the love life of her fifth-grade son!! What happened to just hand-drawing a special card for that little red-headed-girl you got your eye on, Charlie Brown? Geez Louise...

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  152. Jen, you freaking kill me. I don't have kids yet so thank gawd I dont have to deal with this. But I can tell you stories about overachieving assholes in the fashion industry! :)

    Best quote from your post:

    "I like to make cutesy crafty things for my kids to give out so that people will tell me how great I am. I like to give the teacher a gift because I know that no one else will and I'll stand out and look like a champ."

    I know I've said it before but I just love love love your blog. Gonna share it again on my site and my own personal facebook pge.

    Have a great day!

    xoNik

    www.athoughtinthemindof.blogspot.com

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  153. Anonymous12:00

    Oh, I loved this! I'm an older mom with kids ranging from 22 to 10, and a former elem. teacher. I used to see the overachiever parents and vowed I wouldn't be one, and I haven't. But even yesterday I was feeling a little guilt about all the cool things I see other moms doing that I'm not. Reading your blog brought me back to my normal, sensible self! Thank you!

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  154. I saw teacher gifts yesterday too! WTH? I had never heard of that before this year. I confess, I did the lollipop ones. My kids saw them and wanted to do it. I loved them after they were done. Plus, you type it out once on the computer, one hour later pick them up at walgreens, and then make a couple lines with an exactoknife and let the kids put the suckers in there. Easy peasy, and the 1st graders especially enjoyed the special effects :-)

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  155. I totally hear you! It was our first year as parents on V day and I have to say I felt like a douche when my kids were THE ONLY ONES that didn't bring their teachers a gift. I barely got their valentines filled out before we left for school that morning. I am most definitely an underachiever. Oh and thanks to the parent that gave my kid the effing sweettarts which were then spilled all over the back of the van, which caused the distraction which caused my first ever car accident. Now I am driving a non pimped out 05 Hyundai Sonata instead of my pimped out Sienna. I blame it all on the overachievers...bitches.

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  156. This is so fabulous! This is only the second time I have read your blog (first was the Elf, of course). Nice writing and super funny. The teacher being your sweetheart had to be the best part. I really wondered about that as I saw the teachers desks showered in gifts yesterday (not from us). I can't keep up with it all. That is why your post is perfect. Thanks!

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  157. Guilty. We made construction paper and doily valentines and I set the dinner table with doilies and pink milk. Cupcakes and little goody bag for dessert. Like a man with a little dick, I am totally overcompensating for all my deployments and temporary duty assignments. I am a whore for my kids' approval.

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  158. Since you are a comment whore and I love your blog, I will admit to doing the picture with the pop for Valentine's day. Hear me out though! That idea WAS my lazy way of doing a Valentine! I didn't have to buy anything but pops and I hate having to stand over my daughter telling her "c'mon, only 10 more cards to write out!" The teachers got the same thing. It was super easy and cheap and I WILL do it again! :) As for all that extra stuff and those damned elves...punch away!

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  159. Anonymous12:17

    The overachievers should thank me. My night before grocery store cards for my 7month old's daycare group set the bar pretty low. They didn't have to work that hard!

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  160. I pretty much wanted to de-activate my facebook yesterday. All I kept seeing was pictures of flowers, and food. I don't want to see your fucking food!!! It doesn't even look that good! Listen- I got flowers too, and a nice dinner, but I sure as shit am not going to take pictures of either.

    I was thiiiiis close to updating my status to say this: "Happy Valentines Day to the best wife in the world, Josh is so lucky to be married to me." Because all those mushy "I love my hubby" updates pretty much made me want to vom.

    And I totally agree with the over-achiever Moms, my kid is only in preschool, I have 6 more years of this bullshit.

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  161. Is it okay if I refer to this post on my Blog? I totally agree with you, but have a few additional thoughts. I will link to you and give you props (if I can figure out how...).

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  162. We totally opted out of Valentines Day this year... my daughter is old enough to understand "commercialized holiday" so we all just said fuck it... we all believe the love and appreciation should be spread evenly throughout the year, and not just one day when someone TELLS YOU TO... its just not cool.

    I will, however, say I still received a card from the hubs, and I loved it...

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  163. Once again, out of the park on this one. Hope you get to meet Tina Fey. Would love the read the recap on that lunch. Keep having fun so we can too. Thanks!!

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  164. Yep ... I did the picture thing with the sucker, but my 5-year-old insisted on putting the suckers into the holes. That girl is no idiot ... if she doesn't do it, it's not gonna get done :)

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  165. Love your blog! I've never been the overachiever to impress strangers who matter very little. And the main reason I never went back to get my Masters to be a teacher is because I couldn't handle the idiot parents. As such, I never understood all the candy, pencils, and impressively-hand-decorated cookies my kids have brought home on faux holidays.

    But I have to say, it was refreshing to see my 13 yr old 8th grader buy her own box of cheezy Valentines (Jonas Bros!) and a package of Pixie-Stix, with her own $$, and make a little something herself for all the friends at her lunch table. Further, she and a friend made sure to text everyone who sits with them,to make sure they were all participating, even the boys! That, I'm OK with.

    I like to "overachieve" for dinner parties & when I have guests in my home, not so much for the accolades as for the fact that I want ppl to feel good about having been here (that's the go-to answer for a Pastor's wife).

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  166. Dude. I blogged about how I boycott Valentines Day. I just don't get 'coerced romance.'

    And as far as the nutso V-Day gifts, it's simply one more opportunity for parents to one-up each other. (Yeah, we had two blow-pop photo pic Valentines in our house. Candy will be going out into Tuesday's garbage if DH doesn't get to it first.)

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  167. Ahh, how I do not miss those days. My kids no longer feel the need to hand out those Godforsaken dumb ass Valenslime's day cards anymore. They don't much care about the day at all. Obviously, this is partially my fault as I find the "holiday" pointless and nothing more than a hallmark holiday.

    Leprechaun trap? Sounds like some drinking game you'd find in a bar. These people seriously need to get a life.

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  168. I love reading your blog! I definitely saw some overachievers even before yesterday. I was happy for them, but my kids put together their own cards. I did have to put the tattoos in the cards, because my kid doesn't have the dexterity either. We didn't do candy either. We gave pencils and miniature kaleidoscopes that I purchased at Ollie's. ps. I have seen that leprechaun trap...not gonna happen at my house either. LOL!

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  169. That leprechaun trap makes me laugh my ass off! My kids must be growing up deprived--I guess that is because I work full time and own my own photography business on the side--at least they eat:)Cheers to the heart shaped pizza--my hubs ordered that last night too!

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  170. You are awesome. I needed a good laugh today!

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  171. I had the same annoying experience with the damn tatoo Valentine's. Pain in the ass. I thought they'd be easier. And who the hell needs more pencils around!!!

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  172. AMEN JEN!! Thank you for stating my thoughts exactly but in a MUCH more comedic way! DAMN YOU OVERACHIEVERS!! Thank you for my daily laugh -- and I mean gut-busting laugh!

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  173. Ahhh you just reminded me that I forgot to make the pizza in the shape of a heart last night.

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  174. I blame Family Fun magazine! They had those traps last year made out of branches and stuff from your yard, or popsicle sticks. I hid the magazine from my kids. And we bought store bought valentines this year, the teacher got a bag of 99 cent palmers chocolate with the 99 cent sticker still on the front of it.

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  175. Christi Blaskowski12:53

    Oh good grief, that was hilarious. Okay, here's one. I own the fact that I, as a small business owner who works at night, love to volunteer at my kids' school (occasionally) so that I can hear how terrific I am for doing it. The teachers are always so grateful for any little thing a volunteer does. It's definitely one of the ways I get my kudos on.

    Thanks for the great blog! It's the only blog I read regularly. :)

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  176. Sorry, I'm somewhat new to this Mom business so I'm confused. Are you trying to tell me that this is the norm for Valentine's Day? A picture? An elf?? What happened to Barbie valentine cards in those flimsy envelopes with one conversation heart inside?

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  177. LOL, LOL, LOL!! That GD leprechaun trap has been the bane of my existence through all 5 kids -- since in our school district making a leprechaun trap in first grade is a frickin requirement. And it's all the worse because they get the kids thinking that if their trap is good enough it will ACTUALLY WORK, not to add to the stress or anything. When the youngest one was finished last year I danced a jig, I tell you.

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  178. After reading all the comments, I have learned one thing: that cute pinterest Valentine of the kid holding the lollipop was apparently the most common Valentine which means...........I was ORIGINAL with my store-bought ones, go me!!

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  179. Who the hell came up with a leprechaun trap?? Who has the energy or time or patience for these stupid projects? I could see if it was put together in the name of quality time spent with your child, but you're right--the kids have nothing to do with them. I have better things to do--WITH my son.

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  180. you know....I worried over not being the artsy, crafty Mom. I saw all of these moms posting pictures of the very things you described and it made me feel like shit. But you know what? When I asked my 8 year old little girl what she wanted to give her classmates, she said, "a fruit rollup and a smile". Yessssss.....thank you baby, Jesus. And apparently, the moms of her classmates are just like me, cause there was not one homemade Valentine in the box. I guess I shouldn't have felt so bad after all.

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  181. My 5th grade boy (it's our last few months of elementary school!) flat out REFUSED to take Valentines. I double-checked with the teacher to make sure it was optional, so when he said so, I said "fine with me!" and let the boy be a party-pooper. But at least I didn't stress out over it for a week! LOL

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  182. Can't wait to see what this moms do for themselves on Mother's Day. I also noticed way too many crafty/crappy (is crapfty a word??) ideas for Groundhog's Day. That little rat bastard can't even accurately forecast the weather!

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  183. Oh, hell no! Put the elf back. into. the. damn. box!!!

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  184. LOL I feel your pain!! ITA!!

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  185. Anonymous13:16

    So funny! I also hate the overachievers. Try watching "The Middle" sometime. It's about a family of underachievers who do things like not taking their Christmas tree down until Easter. Always makes me feel better about myself. :)

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  186. Jenne13:26

    Ok, I have a 6th grader, so I didn't see any valentines this year - and I really hate to be Debie Downer, but wouldn't double-stick tape have made the tattoo valentines a little less arduous?

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