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| Photo courtesy of OAM with sense of humor |
My Facebook started blowing up this morning and didn't stop all day. I saw so many cutesy Valentine's that kids did not make.
Do not try to tell me that kids made half the Valentine's I saw today. There's no way. Kids did not take an adorable photo of themselves holding out their arm and the kids did not punch a hole in the picture and put a sucker in there so it looks like they're handing you the sucker from the precious photo. Kids did not make these Nintendo DS Valentines:
Or these dynamite valentines:
Even I had to get on the bandwagon a bit with the overachievers. My own kids gave out store bought cards with included tattoos (The ones that included pencils were all sold out, damn it. I guess that's what I get when I wait until the weekend before to buy my Valentines). I had to sit there for an hour poking those minuscule tattoo corners into the stupid slits on the cards, because my kids lack the patience and dexterity to do it themselves. I would have chucked the tattoos, except the cards say, "Enjoy your tattoo!" and my kids were watching me making sure I included a tattoo for all their friends. They know me so well! They knew if they left me alone to my own devices, I'd throw the tattoos in the trash and call it done. I know how long it took me to assemble those stupid things and they'll never end up on anyone's Pinterest boards. I should have done the damn photo with the sucker thing. It might have actually been faster.
And since when did Valentine's become Christmas and Halloween rolled into one? My kids came home with so much candy and presents today it couldn't all fit in their backpacks. We are still eating our way through Halloween and Christmas candy at this point. We do not need anymore.
I saw the pictures of the overachievers who were up bright and early giving their kids gifts for Valentine's Day. I will get on board with the Easter Bunny bringing you a little something, but Cupid? I don't think so. Not in this house. I believe I just bought a shitload of gifts for my kids not 2 months ago and a fat guy got all the credit, the hell I'm doing that again only now it's a fat baby looking thing getting the credit.
Most of the gifts I saw were Legos or art supplies or things like that. I did see an iTouch though and I heard about bouquets of flowers being delivered to the schools - for kids. I feel sorry for the future husbands of those girls. If they've been getting a dozen roses since Kindergarten, imagine what they're going to want when they're 40! A heart shaped pizza and "Breaking Dawn" on DVD is not going to suffice (thank you, Hubs!!).
It wasn't just the kids either. It was the teachers too. At the class party today there were a few gifts for the teacher. Of course, my kid wanted to know where our gift for the teacher was. How was I supposed to know we were giving gifts?? I didn't realize the teacher was my sweetheart and I should have brought her a box of chocolates.
I tell you, it's amazing how the overachievers can take the simplest holiday and turn it into a production and an event "for the kids." Ha! The overachievers aren't doing it for the kids. They're doing it for themselves. They're doing it so they can have all the other moms say to them, "How adorable! What a cute idea. You're so creative and fun! I would love to be your kid!" I just want them to own it and say it out loud. I want them to say, "I like to make cutesy crafty things for my kids to give out so that people will tell me how great I am. I like to give the teacher a gift because I know that no one else will and I'll stand out and look like a champ." Just own it and I'll leave you alone.
I have lots of annoying and egotistical things I do, but the difference is, I own them. For instance, I will tell anyone, I am a whore for comments on my blog. I love comments. I check my comments all the time. I love to read the comments and I enjoy reading them - even the nasty ones make me happy. At least someone's reading (not as carefully as I'd like sometimes, but reading nonetheless). See? That wasn't hard. Now you try.
Eh, I don't know why I'm amazed every time the overachievers raise the bar and make me look like an ass, but I am. And every holiday it seems to gets worse. I've already noticed St. Patrick's Day trending out there. Oh God, it's coming. I refuse to make green milk and shamrock shaped pancakes and I'll be damned if I ever make this stupid thing:
Yup, it's a fucking Leprechaun trap.
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406 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 400 of 406 Newer› Newest»The elf creeps me out! He does not belong anywhere near Valentine's Day. I'm glad I was nowhere near the class party yesterday where I'm sure the overachieving mommies were tackling each other to serve the cutest snack or run the bestest, most funnest game.
My kids have major food allergies, so anything homemade gets thrown in the trash. I did the tattoo thing too and thought of ditching them until I saw the "enjoy your tattoo' message.
I have to admit your blog is out there! My kids are all grown and I was a room mom a few times and went over board when I couldn't afford to and sometimes even had fun. At this point I think it would be better to spend quality time with the kids then pull them into all the holiday gift giving unless its home made from the heart. BTW who is Tina Fey? .. ducking from thrown shoes I'm sure, I am so out of touch I just found out George Carlin died this rock I'm living under is bigger then I thought. Happy I found your blog!
I also follow you on Pinterest.
Couldn't agree more and by the way I did the tattoo thing last year. Pain in the ass!
"I like to make cutesy crafty things for my kids to give out so that people will tell me how great I am. I like to give the teacher a gift because I know that no one else will and I'll stand out and look like a champ." I admit it! And, my goal this Valentines was to make those over-achieving stay-at-home moms want to "punch me in the throat" for making the BEST v-day boxes (lights and all!) ever while still working everyday. For once, I actually remembered the holiday and had time to do something--so, I wanted to make the perfect, crafty, over achieving stay-at-home moms glad that I am generally too busy to compete! Mission accomplished! Happy Valentines Day to ME!
I bought my kids valentines for this year last year when they were 50% off, pencil ones for the 6 yr old and truck ones for the 4 yr old because I knew he would need them for Pre-K. I just started being a SAHM at the beginning of this year and I did make some treats for the Pre-K teachers, aides and bus driver. That is because my deal with my son who is not always the most pleasant in the mornings and he falls asleep on the bus home. My six year old gave his teacher a "teacher" valentine I printed off the internet and one of the left over pencils, only because he wanted to. I had to take the 4 yr old to the Dr yesterday so I dropped off his valentines and the treats-which I was so proud of-to see I got beat out by 2 moms. One had made lollipop heart shape cookies with a clear hard candy center, taped to these really nice valentines that had real envelopes and of course brought them in a white wicker basket with a pink liner. The other mom made "candy" milkshakes for the teachers that were quite impressive. I read most of the other posts and are you supposed to give the teachers end of the year gifts? I have never heard of this. Oh and if I even thought of making a Leprechaun trap my oldest would freak out if he thought there really was a little green man running around the house.
HAHA I think you must have read my blog from yesterday before you wrote this. I am right there with ya. http://heather-becausenobodylikesmondays.blogspot.com/
I just want to say, "I like to make cutesy crafty things for my kid to give out so that people will tell me how great I am. I like to give the teacher a gift because I know that no one else will and I'll stand out and look like a champ." No, not really. I do it because it makes a girl I hate look bad. That's really the only reason. XOXO
Right there with you sista!
So I'm writing because you love comments (and who doesn't!) I am so with you on the whole giving gifts to teacher crap. Nope, never did it and never gonna. This year was awesomeness for Valentine's Day because my daughter is now a 6th grader and they no longer do that whole give me a crappy post-it note with candy swap-o-rama. Yeah!!! Woohoo!
Giggle, Laugh, Cry
That's hilarious, Kitty, and well worth the effort, I bet!
I am a crafter wanna be, but I'm also a realist. Insignificant holidays don't get crafts or homemade treats. Some significant ones don't get it either. Sorry V-day is significant (to me because of family traditions) but I put some dollar store candy in a dollar store glass and that's what my hunni got. You are too hilarious
My youngest still has Valentine's parties at school and yes, I bought the Valentines but I made her address all of them. I also helped her frost and decorate the cookies we signed up to bring as well. If you have time Jen (between lunch with Tina Fey and hanging out with Tina Fey), I'd love for you to read about my experience this year at http://justanotherdayinparadiseforme.blogspot.com/.
I would say 90% of the kids in my daughter's class didn't even write their own names on the valentines! Come on! Take some time and help them write it out!
Oh, just wait... I know people who mess up their house the night before St. Patrick's Day, then blame it on the leprechauns! They dye the toilet water green, turn the drawers upside down, dump the toys all over the place, and hide little gold chocolate coins around the house. These must be the same overachieving Elf on the Shelf crazies. Please set them straight before it's too late, Jen! Here I thought Valentine's Day was a card and chocolate holiday, and St. Patrick's Day was for eating corned beef and cabbage and maybe a shamrock cookie or green milk for fun... Here's to setting the bar lower so our kids don't get spoiled before entering kindergarten!!!
That was my feeling exactly. Once you threw the f-bomb at the end, I was rolling.
I hate Valentine's day. I got in to a fight with my mother about it because she said my kids would be 'missing out'. I'm sorry. I made the fricken V-Day box and gave them little cards to pass around, but I'm not doing anything else. The fact that I don't really want my kids passing out meaningless crap that will get thrown away within the next 24 hours does NOT make me a bad person.
I had a discussion abouth this with some of my friends on facebook. One of them is a 5th grade science teacher and she told me her idea and I thought it was spot on. Valentines Day is supposed to be about showing appreciation to the people in your life, so instead of giving out stupid "be mine" cards, she had her class write one compliment on a note card for each kid in their class. By the end every student had a a stack of 20 note cards with one compliment or good thing about them on it from their peers. She punched a hole in the corner and hooked them to a little ring for each child so thy could keep them all together. That way if they ever felt bad about themselves they could pull it out and look through it.
I thought it was clever and simple and easy.
Instead of doing that I watched parents at my daughters school walk out with three foot tall castle themed "shoe box" valentine boxes. I would not have been surprised if this thing had a working draw bridge and mote... Seriously?
I got the valentines with the pencils at Rite Aid and had my kid sign them. Most of the moms of the kids in her preschool had them do very similar things. But now I have 20 pencils with Tinkerbell or Cars on them; what the heck to I do with those!
This cracks me up.
I had a heart shaped pizza and champagne last night with the hubs. I got pissed because the pizza wasn't so much heart shaped as fucked up circle shape. BUT I got to watch Breaking Dawn as well - and enjoyed eating my deformed dough while watching K-Stew get all skeletal.
Perhaps I am easy to please?
Or maybe it's because my parents weren't effing weirdos who sent me bouquets in elementary school?
Either way, it's a win.
I have turned my toilet water green along with my boys' milk before when they were younger but fuck messing my house up. It is a bitch to keep clean as it is with two boys and a dog running around. I'm not messing up my clean house for any holiday, I don't care how real the holiday is! Messing your house up and blaming it on the leprechaun...hell, let the leprechauns clean my house!
I think some blame can go to the school- we now have popcorn day (remember to send in a dollar!), school spirit day (hope all the red and white clothing is clean) and crazy hair day ( remember to buy colored hair spray! And no, bed head does not count). And I don't want to be invited to the Valentine party- if I wanted to spend all day with them, I'd home scool them. Keep on punching, you are spot on!
FU leprechaun trap! WTF? And FU overachievers ...lazy moms unite!
I can totally relate to throwing the tattoos out. My kids cards were little sunsets over the ocean with pop up dolphins in them. I put the dolphins into the 1st two, after that I decided fuck that, all the kids just got sunset cards.
I admit...I made heart shaped pancakes for dinner. I had a mix that was already pink so it wasn't much effort. I also did order individual cakes with my kids' names on them...the wife of a local bakery owner works in my classroom and took orders for $3 per cake. I was "over the top" as far as my previous Valentine's Day activities go. I think I was feeling sorry for myself because of the divorce. Since I knew I wouldn't be getting anything special from anyone, I tried to DO something a little special for the kids. Thank God the hardest part was flipping a heart shaped pancake. Anyone who brings back the elf or makes a leprechaun trap deserves a serious throat punch!
Your posts are always refreshing reality checks. Hope reading my post makes you feel good about yourself! ;-) I look forward to more posts, laughs, and reality checks in the future.
This is just one teacher's experience, but while I appreciated the thought behind any gift a student gave me, the best were gift cards for books or movies. Anything that was likely to make me fat or rot my teeth was sent with the Hubs to his office the next day.
One of my students gave me an ornament that she painted and I still hang that thing on my tree every year. I was a Spanish teacher, so of course it was a Dora ornament.
While I tend to agree with you on many subjects... I would ask that you respectfully remove the picture of my daughter with her hand held aloft as you did not ask my permission to use it. Thank you.
I am the overachiever. We did the lolly pop photo card. My 7 YO loved it, she loved doing the photo shoot, she loved photo shopping the picture with her name and hearts. It took me all of 30 minutes to do. I also sew, quilt and embroider and other creative things... it is MY thing. My blog, has all of 1 post... so umm it is not like I over achieve in EVERYTHING. Also, don't look in the corners in my house or the stains that MIGHT remain on my kids clothes. We ALL have our strengths and our 'things'. I don't walk into someone's house and say,'Of course I can eat off your floor, I am going to punch you'
"Yup, it's a fucking Leprechaun trap."
Lmao!!!!
It's just for fun... she doesn't REALLY want to punch you in the throat. I think.
Oh hell....is it worse that I was totally the overachieving mom yesterday with the custom designed valentines (all 11 personalized), and included bath and body works lotion for the teachers or that I was secretly trying to drum up business since I am invitation designer- at least I did not include a business card with valentine.
This blog makes my day!
Thank God my oldest is too cool for Valentines and my youngest is just happy that I remembered to get something to hand out in class. I'm not artsy or craftsy (tried to make him a Lightning McQueen birthday cake one year - it came out looking more like Doc Hudson) and I can only barely remember to put the Elf out at Christmas (not to mention the Elf gives me the creeps. It. Just. Watches.)
I just recently found your blog and I'm hooked - thanks for making me laugh so loud my husband comes into my office to see what's so funny. :D
love this! The last picture and sentence made me laugh out loud!!!!! Thanks!
I laughed my ASS off at the " Leprechaun trap"
LOVE your rant and feel the same way myself. :)
I have to say, if you really want to "own it", then just say you are judging other moms for being the moms they want to be. Who says they are competing? I'm not crafty, but I know moms who even actually enjoy cooking! Gasp! You do your thing, they do theirs, everyone's a winner.
While the over achievers do irritate the hell out of me, it's the holiday leap-froggers that really piss me off. The day after Halloween last year, I walked into Walmart and two of the cashiers were wearing Santa style Christmas caps. It took everything in me not to walk up to each of them, smack the caps off their heads and yell, "Are you fucking kidding me? Let the damn turkey have his day!" Maybe we need to start giving out Eat Me cards (talking about the turkey of course) in celebration of Thanksgiving.
red milk..... ewwww.... kinda of like blood for their vampire children?
My daughter spent 15 minutes in the Kmart Valentine aisle in search of the perfect gift. The cute little stuffed dog, sitting in a coffee mug. I was honored that she'd think of me and want me to buy me something from her. So I say oh, Zoe, that is so sweet! She says, I think my teacher would like that. She has a dog. That was my V day fail. Her teacher's win.
You are more prepared than I am. I went to Wal-Mart at 8 pm on Monday to get Valentines and got whatever they had. I then had to tear them, wait for Opie to sign them, then I had to use the sticker to close them. Then I got asked why I didn't make a homemade treat for the class like other parents did! UMMM...BECAUSE I WORK AND TAKE CARE OF CHILDREN!
I went to the grocery store and bought myself 2 dozen lavender roses. (marked down but still beautiful.) He'd better not bring home any damn guilt flowers.
Girl! I'm so thankful I'm not the only NORMAL/AVERAGE mom out there! I am sick to death of all of it! And everyone wonders how or why the kids these days grow up with such a sense of entitlement? Really, must you ask? Take a look around! And please take heed to this post and OWN YOUR ILLNESS!!! (that's what I believe it is!)
We had those dumbass tattoo valentines too. My kid watched to make sure I matched up the right tattoo with the right card. No mom, the monkey tattoo DOES NOT go with the giraffe card. Funniest thing, my kid brought home a card with a cracked brown and red striped CANDY CANE taped to it. GROSS!
I made the photo valentines, I did the pink milk, I even gave my girls a "heart attack" by posting heart shaped post its with I love yous all over their door!! I dyed the icing on the cinnamon rolls after making them into hearts. I'm guilty and thought this was hilarious!!!!! I'm fucking proud of myself........yes........I want compliments damn it! Happy?! Hahahaha!! I don't have time to make an Acct or I would......my names Kristen kimbrell :)
I sort of did it this year. I put broken crayons in heart shaped molds and melted them into new crayons for my sons kindergarten class. BUT it was super quick and I made the boy peel the old crayons himself. AND we did store bought cards that he filled out himself.
OH and yes I totally wanted people to think I was awesome and creative.
A friend of mine just sent me a link about how US parents are raising their kids (and how that differs than the French)...thought you might appreciate it because some of what you talk about here on your blog, I think, relates to the idea that parents here think it is a good idea to let their kids think it is all about THEIR (the kids) needs and wants: http://ideas.time.com/2012/02/10/why-american-kids-are-brats/?iid=op-main-lede#ixzz1lzbRIN1b
Hahahaha! Thanks I now have to clean tea off my screen. ahahaaha
I love my daughter, but the day I make a "leprechaun trap" is the day I will punch MYSELF!
I was the 'slacker' mom last year who didn't get the memo about the LEPRECHAUN who sneaks into houses and makes a crap load of a mess before everyone wakes up. Since when has this gone on? I guess I'm a disappointment on so many different levels and we're not even close to the teen years yet.
Ok I'm fessing up we have a leprechaun trap that my son made at preschool and let me tell you why...all because of that "bastard" elf! I bought that stupid thing (against my better judgment) because his preschool had it (wish the teacher gave me a heads up that my kid was terrified of it) and everyone I knew was getting one but frankly I really didn’t think it through like most things in my life. Now mind you this is my youngest, I have four kids and the two oldest are like "what the heck is that thing" that should have set off some kind of alarm but NOOOO!
So any who I figure this is gonna be great!! I get all set up, the elf is on the top of the TV armoire and I say "oh my goodness Santa left an early gift a book about an Elf" Now the other little one is into it, my youngest not so much! I start reading the book and my little guys eyes are darting around, he’s hanging on me for dear life and then it happens… he makes eye contact with that freakin' elf and it's all over, he let's out a blood curdling scream and then an "OH MY GOD HE FOLLOWED ME HOME! HOW DID FIND HE FIND OUT WHERE I LIVED!" Now I couldn't even console him because I'm laughing so hard I wet my pants (that’s the kind of Mom I am). He still gets spooked when Christmas comes around but hopefully therapy will help that ☺ .
So let me get back to that leprechaun trap, again THAT damn school, for St. Patrick’s day they have someone dress up like a leprechaun and put green dye in all the toilets, make a mess of the school etc etc…except my kid won’t use the toilet by himself anymore cause he thinks a leprechaun might be in there taking a crap. So basically we use the trap like garlic for vampires, we put the trap out so the leprechaun won’t come into our house! Long story but to sum it up apparently I’m not that kind of Mom and my kids are not those kinds of kids. But it’s all good, because my now teenager daughter once told me when she was 4 “Mom you are SO fu*king funny!!” I guess I’m doing something right!!
I keep reading about food-colored pancakes as a Valentines Day breakfast. Seriously? Are there people out there who get up and make pancakes before their children leave for school? I would have to get up at 5am to make any pancakes; forget cutesy ones.
A leprechaun trap? I am pretty sure St. Patrick's day is all about making sure my kids don't wear green PJ's the night before so I can pinch them first thing in the morning.
He went with white roses for your period because red was too obvious?
Your dad at the florist: Hmmm what says Happy Menses better, blood clot red or kotex white?
haha That is glorious.
i will own the fact that i was one of those moms that got a cupcake for each of my kids teachers, just the elementary ones, not my middle schooler...he would disown me if i ever tried to have him take something to his teachers. but i did it b/c i actually like the teachers, i may not do it next year if i don't like their teacher. i have to say i agree about the darn elf, keep him in the box until his time comes around. i bet someone will dress up the darn elf in a bunny suit at easter! anyone who does that should get a huge punch in the throat
Hahaha!! i contemplated that phot lollipop thing but I hit Target one day and those Mad Lib valentines with pencil called my name. Although, I did a leprechaun visit one year...he even left green footprints, gold coins and cookies behind. That was an idiot move on my part, you know why? My daughter wanted to know why the leprechaun didn't come again the next year or again the year after that or since then. Crap!! I didn't think that far ahead that I would have to continue it every year, I was just wide awake nursing an infant that night and couldn't go back to sleep.....and maybe feeling a little guilty that her newborn baby brother stole her spotlight. But when I saw that Leprechaun trap above I had to laugh because my daughter's friend had to make one as an assignment one year in her 3rd grade gifted class. All I kept thinking was,"Thank god my kid isn't in the gifted class." Man!! her dad did a bang up job on it though.
Love your blog and your sensibility. Just read through all 250+ comments! I admit it, I joined pinterest recently and am totally hooked. I've pinned shit, made recipes I found and... made not one but two v day crafts for my preschooler. I did it because I like to do crafty things, I had a mom that never did stuff like that for me and always wished I did, it wasn't expensive and I seriously can't stand those crappy goody bags of stuff I literally throw in the garbage. I hate getting them at birthday parties and always feel guilty throwing them away but seriously, does my kid need 10 Tinkerbell pencils, a plastic kazoo and 37 stickers? 90% of what she got today ended up in the garbage. I made those tootsie roll pops with the foam lips and mustaches attached. It cost me about $5 and yes, I felt creative when I past them out. But I also readily admitted I stole the idea from pinterest.
Literally laughed out loud at your last statement...Yup, it's a fucking Leprechaun trap.
You crack me up!!!!
*passed
Hahaha!! No Kidding!!! The first year I got the Elf I had to keep it in the main areas of the house or my daughter wouldn't go to bed. She told me it freaked her out that once we all went to bed that thing was roaming around our house. Once she asked me if it could see her peeing.....I just said "Well maybe if you would close the door when you pee'd he wouldn't be watching you." She's been peeing with the door closed ever since.
Yeah, so I did get gifts for my son and husband... I guess it is because I once got a Valentine's Day card from my Mom when I was 20, and it made me feel so special (finally!) and I just want my son to feel that way too. Punch me :)
LMFAO...I'm so glad one of my friends posted a link to your blog on facebook and I took the time to read it. Amen Sister. Never will I go that far for any holiday. Store bought cards will work for my kids. Nor will they get a gift from me or any other holiday creature except on Christmas, their birthdays, and Easter. They can complain to their therapists on their own dime when they are adults.
Move over Leprachaun Trap.....the latest in holiday tackery is the Valentine Toilet Bowl (complete with flushing sound!!! I shit you not! (pun totally intended!) I just saw this damn thing on my RSS Feed today. What kid wouldn't want to reach into a faux toilet for a candy bar??
http://todaysfabulousfinds.blogspot.com/2012/02/flushing-toilet-valentine-box.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TodaysFabulousFinds+%28Today%27s+Fabulous+Finds%29
Way to hit the nail on the head again! The over achieving moms were in FULL force yesterday, including every possible pinterest Valentine EVER posted. Then they posted pics of their hard work all over FB, too . . .
AND my 2nd grader won the freaking jar of Dove chocolates at his class party because his guess was closest to the 74 chocolates in the jar. Some over achieving mom gave my 8 year old boy 74 pieces of chocolate?! WTF?! I'm going to find out who it was eventually, and what prize should I give her precious child? I'm thinking a case of Fun Dip & a couple of guinea pigs . . .
She really probably does want to punch you in the throat. As a matter of fact, I kind of do, too . . .
Ha! Just kidding! Go embroider your St. Patrick's Day gifts for the teachers, don't worry about me. ;-)
Me too..??..:))
Lmao,"a f**king leprechaun trap." Now that's classic. You're so right that the overachievers just want a pat on their back!!! Hysterical!
I hate those overachievers but I secretly want to be one of them, kind of the same way I wanted to be in with the cheerleader crowd... They'll get what's coming to them; by their 20 year reunion they'll all be fat and saggy. Actually, I was referring to the cheerleaders. 20 years from now the overachievers will still be overachieving, probably for the benefit of their gorgeous and perfect grandchildren.
I feel sorry for moms with school-aged kids. Way to go calling out their true motivation-narcissism. What's next? a cupid on the shelf?
Oh, yes, mine too! At first, it was just a trap, but by the third assignment (with only TWO kids!), the trap had to include two simple machines. Argh.
I will be completely honest and say I make my kids Valentines simply so I can do a craft w/ my daughter and feel like we've had quality time together. Because Lord knows I suck at actually playing with my kids, so crafting it is. :)
You got Breaking Dawn?!?! Can your hubs have a chat with mine? Because that's all I wanted. ;)
Actually, you were really really close on the spelling-it's diorama! (Yes, I WAS an English major in college, how could you tell? LOL!)
Omg! I love you and the horse you rode in on...your my cynical Angel from God! I thought I was negative but you definitely own the snotty. Don't you EVER change, because I need you to say exactly what I'm thinking:)
These are the same parents that rent tuxes and limos for an elementary school father/daughter dance. Prom will be nothing special for her.
Of course these are also the younger siblings of kids that get trophies for just participating in a sport.
I actually like the leprechaun trap. But if I ever made it, it would have to be made well, because it would be a yearly St. Patrick's Day decoration, not some one time thing. And certainly not for any kids that I don't have. I just think it's cute and funny. But I'm lazy. So it's not happening any time soon. :D
As much as I would love to be an overachiever and want to slap all the moms that are overachievers because they make me look like the crap mom of the year, the fact is I have 6 Kids!! I don't have the damned time to be an overachiever! My kids are lucky I even remember the freaking holiday and get them dollar store cards the night before so they aren't utterly embarrassed as school the next day because they are the only kid that didn't bring something to hand out. Punch on Jen!
I stapled those stupid tatoos to the cards....
I am so fucking over holidays! And all the bullshit candy that rots the teeth out of my kids head. Can we say double root canal at age 6? Yes, we brush and floss, but apparently that is not enough. Today, I quickly threw away my son's entire bag of Valentines candy b/c he left on the floor for the dog...again. Last time I came home to dog crap and vomit all over the house! God forbid my husband come home from Afghanistan in 2 weeks and our son killed his dog with chocolate some overachieving mommy needed to put in a valentine to make people like her. He'd be pissed! We are both Marines and have little time to be all cute and overboard with made up holidays for our boys who don't even like girls yet ( except the ones in the VS catalog, yes I found it in his drawer). How about a box of Valentines, a list of names and be done with it already!!! And stopping giving my kids candy all the dang time!!!!!
Seriously...I wasn't going to get more than a card or two until I saw that my husband had ordered TWO gifts off of Amazon for Lily and I. I had to go out at the last minute and buy him a bottle of Chivas. While I was at it, I got a $.99 stuffed frog for Lily and some tiny Playdoh valentines for her classmates (they were 4.99 for 18). While I like the gifts my husband bought, the note he typed up on Microsoft Word was far more meaningful (I cried). Of course, I'm 8.5 months pregnant, so I also cried writing a note to my 2-year-old (who can't read) and filling out my husband's card. I'm such a girl...
When my daughter was 3 months old her daycare room had a Valentine's party. My husband said it was ridiculous, but I Was told if my daughter did not bring something for her "friends" the day care ladies would put something together for her to give. You know, so she would not be ashamed. So I grabbed some prune flavored baby food because it was a nice festive color and it made me laugh.
There will be no leprauchaun traps at my house! Ever!
I freakin' love your blog.
I love St. Patrick's Day; it's the hubby's birthday. He can't stand all the St. Patrick's day stuff everywhere and claims he's celebrating William of Orange day instead. So, I buy all the St. Patrick's day junk I can and work it into his birthday celebration with the family just to tweak him...I'm bad. ;0))
I agree with Michelle. Keep 'em coming!
Oh I am feeling this!!!!!!!! My daughter asked me for a $40 Build a Bear (okay yeah, if I'd had the money, I would have bought that because it was so damn cute) but HELL!! I listened to a friend rattle off the list of Valentine's gifts for her kids and BF and I was like damn. I got my hubs a Tabasco candy bar and a card and each of my kids a little box of chocolates (from which I begged the caramels away). This over holidayed society is off the tracks. Wonder how this will end?
Here's a tip for you, go to WalMart tomorrow or in a few days and buy next years Valentine's. I still have a box of 25 to use for next year, bought 2 last year. $.25 a piece in a clearance cart. SpongeBob again next year - fine by me. Just try to remember where you stash them all year long.
As a semi-overachiever I laughed really hard as I read this and then I read it out loud to a coworker (more overachieving I guess). My daughter is 2, so I'm assuming that my window to overachieve is very limited before she makes me stop. So with that said I'm gonna enjoy every minute of it. :) She goes to a small daycare and we were assigned snack day on Valentine's day and I'm pretty sure I can guess why...because they knew I wasn't gonna show up with granola bars and ruin the freakin Valentine's day party. And you know what??? I'm okay with that. Can't wait to read more...
is it just me or are those totally disgusting! I love dipping pretty much anything in chocolate, but recycled chocolate running through double dippers and dirty fingers, sick!
The stickers I sent with my 1st grader were reportedly subpar compared to all the candy that EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE CLASS BROUGHT MOMMY. Can't we all agree to stick to stupid store-bought cheap-o cards? My preschooler brought home a whole bagful of candy and chips and homemade cookies. It's the homemade ones that bother me. Do they send their kids to daycare/preschool so that they can stay at home and do that stuff? And I'm way ahead of you on that leprachaun trap- my daughter's kindergarten teacher sent that home as a project last year that "may require some help from the parents". The assignment required that we use a simple machine when we make it. I had to wikipedia 'simple machines' to remember what I personally had learned in 7th grade science and which my kindergartener had never even heard of. Of course, most of the rest of the kids brought in traps that were picture-perfect while I kinda let my kid go nuts with glue and a shiny green paper bag I had around the house. Stupid overacheiver parents.
Is it considered over over-achieving if you buy you kids valentines the year before cause they were 70% off?
Did did get one of those kid holding sucker cards. I bet have the cards next year are like that!
Luckily all treats at our school have to be store bought so no overachieving cutesy candy to make us under achievers feel bad
Holly
My hubby cleaned the bathrooms instead of buying flowers and candy. Best present ever!
Hey now, we made chocolate molds with Oreo cookies shoved in there! I have to admit I did most of the work but the kids had fun pushing the cookies in! (btw - love your blog, funniest damn one out there that totally relatable to my life!). And as far as the amount of candy, ridiculous!!! I just threw away all the Halloween crap and now I have to hide all this v-day candy (which is much better, IMO, which makes it enemy #1 in this home when I'm trying to loose my baby weight... 2 years later!!
Really? A leprechaun trap? How much more crap loads of lies can be crammed into the minds of our children? This is just getting ridiculous.
I just recently got turned on to your blog and it is the funniest thing around. I cannot agree with you more, over the top every holiday wears me down too. When does it stop?
As a semi-overachiever I found myself laughing really hard while reading this and then I read it outloud to a coworker (more achieving I guess). My daughter is 2, so I'm assuming my window to overachieve is pretty limited before she tells me to step away from the sprinkles & glitter. My daughter goes to a smaller daycare and we were assigned snack day on Valentine's day and I'm pretty sure it's because they knew I would not show up with granola bars and ruin the freakin Valentine's day party...and I'm really okay with that. Keep writing, I can't wait to read more!
Haha! Let me just warn you now. Boys just don't get into this stuff like girls do. You will knock yourself with some cutesy thing and they are not gonna care. They just don't react like girls do. Throw a bag of candy on the table and they are totally happy! Just know that before you get your hopes up for a different outcome!
I may deserve a little slap. lol. I did do the heart shape pancakes (with x's and o's), but store bought valentines that my daughter addressed, no teacher gifts. And the kids got a card with a very small box of candy. Totally with you on the elf on the shelf and it when people go all crazy for st. patrick's day! green toilet water, messing up your house (that you have to clean up later)????? It's bad enough I have to clean up all day as it is, why do I want to make it worse?
Here's a comment!
:)
I'm kind of glad my little is in middle school now; I asked if she wanted to give anything to anyone and she said "nope" so that was that. I did give her a small gift (I ended up just giving her the cash I would have spent because she is saving up for a "big thing" but I put it in a cute card.) We got chocolate (yum) and my dh sent a candy bar vase filled with teeny candy bars on sticks. (FTD rocks.)
I am Irish but I HATE St. Pat's.
I'm gonna guess you're not a pinterest fan!!!!
As a semi-overachiever I laughed really hard while reading this and then I read it outloud to a coworker (more overachieving, I guess). My daugter is 2, so I'm assuming that my window to overachieve is pretty limited before she makes me step away from the glitter & sprinkles. She goes to a smaller daycare and we were assigned snack day on Valentine's day. I'm pretty sure we were given this day on purpose because they knew we would not show up with granola bars and ruin the freakin Valentine's day party...and I say "mission accomplished". Can't wait to read more.
The gifts for the teachers are my pet peeve. I am pretty good about remembering them with a small gift at Christmas. At the end of the year, I'll get them a little something, if for no other reason than they have had to put up with me AND my kid for an entire school year. Some things will drive me over the edge though and the extravagant classroom gifts for teachers are what do it. Two years ago, the room mom wanted every student (ahem, every student's parents) to donate $15 so the class could buy the teacher a Coach purse? What? If I'm spending money on a Coach purse, it better be for me! Last year, it was $10-$15 for a spa package for the teacher. Again, if I'm spending money on the spa, I better be getting a massage and pedicure out of it for myself! I have politely excused myself from participating in this ridiculous practice by saying, "We won't be contributing to the class gift. K likes to pick out or make something for the teacher on her own."
As for the leprechaun trap, I've got one thing to say: Bain of my existence. I couldn't care less if we catch a leprechaun. Where, oh where, did these ideas originate?
HAHAHAHA, I'm ROFL, Jen! We moved schools this year and didn't realize how big a deal VDay was. A fellow mom crocheted (yes, handmade!) angry birds for each kid...they were about 5" in diameter and multi-colored. I conceded, and that is something, as I am ultra-competetive. :)
A friend of mine is a high school teacher and hands out DumDums to the kids for Valentine's Day, reminding them that "you are what you eat."
Is it wrong for my husband and me to pick out cards for each other at the store, stand there and read them and then put them back? I am so sick of being guilt-ed into buying stuff.
lol i need a like but I agree 100% this is what I tell my Husband too and trust me if i didnt he would try to buy me stuff and its just that stuff love him to pieces he gets me
As a parent, I hate having to try to make my daughters thing look half way decent. There are many over achiever moms at her school, and as a working mom, they look down their nose at me (but we like to eat and have health insurance). I try to make sure her stuff doesn't look like crap! As a teacher, I am amazed at how some parents put so much time and effort into valentines day, yet don't bother to read with their kid or make sure they know how to wipe their ass! But, also as a teCher, it's nice to be remembered on valentines day (Christmas was a bust this year...2 gifts, not that I am in it for the gifts, but again, it's nice to be thought of), especially when I have put up with the bratty ass kid all year and the parent complains that I don't give their child enough stuff (AKA gifts) at holiday time. Um, how about a 2 liter of Diet Dr. pepper so I can keep up with your child! But, I agree with you...there is too mich put into the holidays now and the parents go way overboard and get bath shit crazy if something isn't just perfect.
I too purchased the tatoo, store bought valentine's for my kids to exchange. After the 3rd tatoo fell off the dang card,I decided to staple the rest!!! I make my kids write their own names and leave the TO: section blank. Talk about underacheiver!! Oh well...I hope my boys are not in therapy as adults for my lack of creativity!!! LOL!!!!
I'm going to be one of those over-achieving moms in my next life.
I love this post. I've said many of the same things myself. I come close to a panic attack when it's time to make the damn Valentine's Day boxes. There are always moms posting pictures on fb of the awesome boxes they made. My kids helped design and create their boxes this year. They definately look like 6 year olds made them but they were happy and that is all that matters. I'm convinced that the other moms go overboard so that they will look good to other people, not necessarily to make their kids happy. I also only did the valentines with the tattoos or stickers. My pre-schooler came home with mini bags of candy. We also still have Halloween and Christmas candy. We don't need more fun dip and 20 pencils. We were made to make leprechaun traps last year as a family project. My kids were in kindergarten! How in the hell is that going to be a family project. It was more like a mom project while the kids check in on you in between playing video games. I was so irritated, especially since being the mom of twins meant making 2 boxes.
You are absolutely hilareous! I discovered your humor with the elf blog and now am a devoted fan. I love your humor and am a fellow "tell it like it is" type of person. My husband is also and refers to it as " no bullshit" You make my day every morning, drinking coffee, and trying not to have it come out my nose. Thank you! Oh and my name is Melyssa, just do not get how to post a comment with my name.. LOL
I am admittin I am the "here's your sucker" Mom. Blame Pinterest. I at LEAST admit I got the idea from Pinterest. The other Mom in the class who did the same thing tried to claim it as her own original idea and got offended when I suggested this was the year of the Pinterest valentine by saying, "Heaven forbid I have an original creative thought in my head."
Here's the low-down, Jen:
It's been my experience as a stay-at-home mom to a career educator that "overachievers" are on such a happy pill that even elves have a seat at all holidays (LSD must be a main ingredient to that kind of happy). I'm convinced that asking these folks "WTF" weilds a self indulgent sigh, followed by a narcissistic excuse that goes on and on and oooonnnnnnnnnah! Punch it large, long time!!!
Hey Jen!
Needed to tell you about the Valentine madness at the school where I teach. PTO "mompetitors" as I like to call them, decided we needed to send a note home last month telling parents to inform all out of town family and friends to "send" Valentines in the mail to their little sweeties. Trouble is I work in a Title 1 school where half of the parents probably throw away everything their child brings home and never saw the note. So... guess how many of the kids in EVERY class received Valentines in the mail? HALF! And guess how many Valentines the spoiled PTO kids received? About 15 each! And guess which teacher stayed up to make/stamp/mail Valentines from her house on Friday so there wouldn't be emotional meltdowns in my class on Tuesday when the other kids didn't get "real" mail? You guessed it! Also, absolutely not one "mompetitor" showed up to help sort the thousands of Valentines that arrived at our school (including packages and balloon arrangements). Our dear secretaries (because they have nothing else to do) sorted mail for about two hours each day for about two weeks. Talk about folks who deserve a throat punch! Just thought I needed to share with you. Happy f%$*!in Valentine's Day!
ditto but i only have one kid and i didn't print mine at my lab, i just sent them to walmart because I did them last minute. lol it was cheaper and easier. we didn't even put names on ours, i had the sentiment and signature right on the photo from photoshop. lol
Yeah, I peaked the year the dogs ate all the chocolates I had lovingly hot-glued to my handmade invitations. This year, it was tattoo Valentines (popular choice, huh?) and a few dollar bills stuffed into a heart-shaped bag. "Sweetie, we thought you would enjoy choosing your very own gift with your very own money this year!" The fact that I said it brightly with a huge dose of cheer should not distract from the real message: "Valentines day sucks, and I'm giving you cash because I can't bear to go into a red satin- and lace-laden store." Read my hate letter to Valentines Day at http://www.thepilot.com/news/2012/feb/12/away-with-the-teddy-bears-and-pity-flowers/.
When I began teaching 34 years ago, teachers got lots of valentines, chocolates, flowers. Especially from the kids whose parents were happy that You had to put up with them instead of Them. Now they think of course you should put up with their darling children. They have no idea that they are not "darling."
Well, the ideal leprechaun trap starts with a small food processor at it's heart...
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_XyT3kpmv6r0/SRTW2rERcxI/AAAAAAAAAeg/-0V_EYTc1Qo/s400/GreenBurger.jpg
Haha. "That's kind of why I sent him to preschool." That is me!! I use that excuse all the time..."he does it at school, so I don't need to." :)
Ok! Feel free to punch me! I actually enjoy doing things with my child or FOR my child, and yes...call me crazy but I like to put thought and creativity into it! You sound lazy with no imagination. Your kids are only young once why don't you enjoy it and be that fun Mom I'm sure they want. If you would spend half the time on creating fun Valentines as you do on this hater rant you call a blog then maybe your Valentines would have been worth more than something I'm sure other parents just chucked in their trash!
Ok...but in all fairness, we were REQUIRED to make the frickin' leprechaun trap as kindergarten "homework"!! (Don't get me started on the lameness of kinder homework, but I digress) I never photo'd either of my kids', now 9 & 7 because I am the LOSER mom who actually made their kids do their OWN work. So naturally their traps sucked! LOL Nothing like the pic you posted! LAME!
Stick a hat and buckle shoes on the damn Elf and trap him..
When did our kids become our "valentine's"? I don't ever recall being my mom or dad's valentine beyond making them the "required" one from school but I rarely received unless mom shared her chocolate!
On a separate note, I got a lunch date with the hubs this year and while dropping him back at work, he says, "remember...bj's are like flowers to men" and gives a little grin goodbye! LMAO all the way home!! Guess he forgot how lame I think flowers are! ;)
I'm leaving you a comment because you said you love comments and that you read them all. So here you go. :)
First off, I was noticing the plethora of Facebook posts last night, mainly of the flower bouquets my "friends" got from their spouses/significant others. Why don't they just turn it into an all-out contest for the biggest, prettiest bunch of roses? Or are they posting it because they want the single people like me to feel like they are better than me?
(Maybe I'm a tad jealous too.)
Secondly, I'm a teacher so I'm totally fine if kids want to bring me presents for Valentine's day. Or any day, for that matter. :)
Oh, and I did consider making valentines "from" my daughter (she's 8 months old), but ended up just posting a picture of her in a pink dress on Facebook. She's cuter than any bouquet of roses anyway.
Well, now that I've written you a novel, I need to get back to watching Breaking Dawn and eating my candy from my students. :)
I did what I set out to do. I bought my son a Valentine's Day card and I ACCTUALLY remembered to put it in his lunch box! I even got my husband to sign it! All i wanted was for him to find a little surprise, in the middle of the day, to remind him that, even though I get moody in the morning, and usually scold and hurry, and sometimes act mean, I'm his mommy and I love him SO MUCH! He's 6, so...
Sometimes I feel bad for the moms of the kids who didn't get a card in their lunch boxes. Like I'm the over achiever.
Oh, well. Whatta ya gonna do?!
I spent hours on my kids valentines, and guess what...MY OWN kids chucked them in the trash! (I always make sure to make them one too) So I doubt that any of the other moms cared enough to say 'no, you can't throw this one out, she put too much thought and creativity into it!'
Wait till you do get kids you will have a blast doing all those crazy things lol!!
Your ego should be well stroked today.... I scrolled through LOTS of comments to get to the bottom of this post.
My kids are getting older and schools are (at least in my experience) doing away with all the class party things that used to happen....so we did none of the scohol stuff.
Nonetheless - we did have a Valentine breakfast with heart-shaped pancakes and strawberries in sparkling cider. But I do it because I love my kids....yes, really. And while most of the time, at least the teenage one, thinks I'm an idiot - sometimes I still get to be the "greatest mom ever" hero.
Not to other moms ....just to my kids, and that's enough for me.
Your choice of language is atrocious. Being crass by using obscenity is demeaning.
I remember when my now 12 year old came home from her first Valentine's party in Kindergarten - with candy and gifts! I had just sent her with stupid little cards like the ones I had in school. Ok, I caved and sent candy, bookmarks, or pencils every year since.
Then, when she was in 2nd grade we moved to a new state. St. Patricks Day arrived, and when she got home she was upset because a leprechaun didn't come mess up her house. WTF?!? I guess in Seattle, a mini, green guy comes and messes up the house so the kids wake up and know he visited. Hmmmm, and who cleans up the mess? I want to know what mom came up with that stupid idea!
Hell, I was proud of my achievin' skills when I got my son (6) to actually sit down and write the 'to's' and 'froms' on his super awesome Angry Birds valentine's (from amazon) He was doing good until we got to the girl with the 10 letter long name. I won't post it on here, but seriously? 10 letters long?
I'm 33 but haven't been able to have kids so far, and now I'm finally more than ok with it - but before now, I had DREAMS of doing this VERY THING with them - super overachieving craftsy mom in the making... that was me.
But thank GAWD you talked sense in to me! Now if I ever have children, I hope I can be happy with as little effort as possible ;)
Oh! And I mush share what a friend of mine did for her 3 year old son's Easter/birthday party...she covered the house in powdered sugar and left "bunny tracks" in the "sweet snow" to go with the "Alice in Wonderland - Down the Rabbit Hole" theme. I kid you not. THE ENTIRE HOUSE FLOOR.
My OTHER friend has 5 girls under 12 years old (at 41!!!) and for St. Patty's day she DOES turn the milk green, makes shamrock pancakes and toast, fills the house with hidden gold coin chocolates AND half destroys her house in mischievous ways and blames it on the leprechaun...for which the girls have made homemade traps for and laid them around the house, complete with a brick spray painted in gold glitter...
So yeah, I get my OAM complex honestly... I mean just LOOK at my competition!!! I am FAILING and I'm not even a MOTHER.
I must admit, in lieu of being an OAM to human kids, I had - at one point - become that to my dogs. I had homemade stockings for each, shopped intently for them, wrapped the gifts and filmed them 'unwrapping' them, made ornaments, cards and paintings with their paw prints...made homemade biscuits and cookies and i am horrified to admit - I made 3 birthday cakes for them one year and homemade dog-safe carob chip yogurt ice cream. Even had a blog about all of them.
But then I moved to Europe and became sane again. I PROUDLY no longer do that. Well, except the toys. I still buy them and wrap them. Can't stop myself. A dribble of my former life remains but I'm doing SO much better, right??!!
LOVE YOUR BLOG!! LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!
Valentine's Day in our house this year was celebrated by me throwing up courtesy of a stomach bug I contracted from one of my kids.
There were no heart shaped foods made for breakfast, creepy milk, flowers delivered to them. I did not send my kids to school dressed up like hearts. They got a card and stickers from me and the hubs.
I look at it this way: every day is Valentine's Day for my kids because I love them to pieces, I feed them, clothe them, take care of them. It's enough. They'll get married some day and their spouses or significant others can spoil them on Valentine's Day.
Fortunately, my 6 yr old didn't let me (over)help her. She made her valentines and though many of them were a travesty of red paper, lots and lots of glue, and her lack of dexterity with scissors--in they end, they were hers and she was proud to hand them out. I took a look at one that didn't make the cut for the class, and it made me smile, in all its imperfection, it was adorable. I'm keeping that one for myself. Thanks for your blog!
I'm a real mom.. I don't have time for that crap.
The oldest got a homemade heart crayon, which was cute. Otherwise, they were all store bought. will admit I did shamrock-ish shaped pancakes and green shakes last year. This year I will stick to the leprechaun sneaking a chocolate gold coin on their pillow at nap time. The other stuff is too much work!
Thank you for making me laugh this morning! I needed it :)
At some point, you should give a nod to the under-achievers too. My kid is in daycare (he's 3). The teacher sent a list of the 9 kids in the class so you could write out a valentine. One of the mothers actually wrote the valentine to "Gracie's friend at school". My son's name is 3 letters - it would have been easier to just use the darn list.
My 4th grade son didn't even take the time to write the kids names on his Valentine's. "To: Friend" was all they got. And no candy or prize attached from us either and not because I think candy is bad for kids but because we were throwing them together at 8:30 the night before and I forgot. No over achieving Mom here.
Hahaha, my son made a leprechaun trap last year for a group art project...it looked nothing like that one. It had paper, netting, and plastic bags hanging off from it, and looked like it would fall apart at any moment. But HE made it, and we're both proud of it. If it hadn't been for that group thing though, he never would have made it. St. Patty's day is the kind of holiday where we wear green and call it a day, around here. And don't get me started on Valentines day. It's a pain for me to have to buy valentines + candy for his entire class. When did Valentines day become candy day? Stupid overachievers.
Hahaha, my son made a leprechaun trap last year for a group art project...it look nothing like that one. It had paper, netting, and plastic bags hanging off from it, and looked like it would fall apart at any moment. But HE made it, and we're both proud of it. If it hadn't been for that group thing though, he never would have made it. St. Patty's day is the kind of holiday where we wear green and call it a day, around here. And don't get me started on Valentines day. It's a pain for me to have to buy valentines + candy for his entire class. When did Valentines day become candy day? Stupid overachievers.
Okay I laughed so hard here but I make things with my kids all the time. I am the crafty type and I guess they are too because Sophia asked me what we were making for her friends for Valentines day. Then she told me she wanted to give erasers (I suppose to go with all those cute pencils given out with erasers that suck) and stickers. So, we went on the computer and found the heart shape she wanted and we made card that said "Make no mistake, I'm stuck on you" Then we (yep, the kids did it) stapled the fold over cards to the little plastic bags and both Sophia (5) and Miles (3) took hours painstakingly writing their friends names and their names on each card.
It may be over achieving but we had hours of fun together and they were really proud of themselves. I was too.
Still lady, you made me laugh! I will do as you say and own up. I am a crafty over achiever and so are my kids.
Absolutely the greatest column EVER. Just own it. Brilliant. That is the ENTIRE premise of my own blog.
The Valentine moment that made me want to punch someone right in the face was when my daughter pulled out a beautifully custom labeled and burned mixed CD of dance songs from one of the little girls in her class. Yeah, that definitely was right on par next to our holographic Peace sign Valentines from Target with the lollipop taped on. COME ON people.
Ashley
http://www.thedoseofreality.com/
Here's how "under-awesome" I am: I took my 12 y/o daughter to Family Dollar and said, "You've got money, get your classmates whatver you want within your limit." She's the one who came up with a goodie bag idea of a couple different types of chocolate with a little tag on it, "Your Friend, Delia." Up until now, it's always been the store cards that she would write out herself.
I barely have it together enough to remember birthdays and Christmas, don't expect me to remember all the little holidays in between.
Ok, I confess! I did something for ALL the teachers and staff at the school for Valentine's! I made 200 sugar cookies (slice & bake) and cut MANY strawberries and kiwis and blueberries and MADE frosting dip. I set it all up in the Teacher's Lounge on cute serving dishes shaped like hearts so they could make their own Fruit "Pizza." And I was sure to put my family's name on it all. As for the Valentines my children gave their friends, I bought cheap Valentines after the holiday last year and made them fill them out. They had to make their own boxes this year, which looked like crap, but they did them themselves. So, I was at both ends of the spectrum and I'm owning it! :)
I'll admit I'm artsy crafty and did lovely bookmarks for the kids with a photo of my little ones on them a heart hole punch and a pipe cleaner in the shape of a heart as the tag then put them in cute goodie bags with a bit of candy and happily sent them to school where I didn't expect anything from anyone I wanted the kids to love them and wanted my guys to have fun handing them out. My guys woke up to a present which I do every year the same. The get a swimsuit to buy one every year anyway why not let gap wrap it and let my guys enjoy opening it?
I draw the line though at hired entertainment for the class party! Yes one class at our school had a clown and balloons etc we live in KS people!
OMG! You are my twin (from another Mother)LOL! I was floored when my two boys ages 7 and 5 stepped into the car after school on Valentines day! I guess I didn't get the memo on the V day thing. Candy wrapped in pretty paper with ribbons, boxes of candy, stickers, pencils, tatoos etc! I guess I must look like a cheap ass..my boys gave out Valentine's cards...that's it!!! It was enough trouble getting them to sign their freaking name :) And about the leprechaun trap...NOT happening! Love your blog
Okay, I"ll admit it. *ahem* I like to make cutesy crafty things for my kids to give out so that people will tell me how great I am.
I totally made the V-day card of my kid holding her arm out so that it looks like she's handing you the sucker. And I did it because I like a challenge (though it wasn't as hard as I thought) and because I did not want to have to argue with her about Princess Valentines versus My Little Pony Valentine's versus tattoos or pencils or whatever the hell else. And don't even get me started on her penmanship. I made an executive decision and had those things done in less time than it took me to assemble my materials. Plus I had to go to Target for the lollipops and when I go to Target, everybody wins, especially the Target stockholders (you're welcome).
I didn't make the reindeer cakeballs with preztel antlers and I didn't make the turkey cupcakes that had Nutter Butters for heads and sugar glue dots for eyes, but I did craft it up for V-Day because as I said, I wanted a challenge and because as my hubs says I wanted to "make it rain" on those other moms. I'm still trying to figure out that analogy, but whatevs.
Enjoy all 300+ of your comments! You deserve them (and I mean the good ones in particular). Oh! and I did laugh out loud at the leprechaun trap.
Ha! So true and hit home so hard this year! I was still feeling inadequate because of the mommies that over-did Halloween. I was a basketcase at Target two nights before Valentines trying to do what I'm 'supposed' to do! Some of the preschool mommies complained about too much candy (there goes me chucking some hershey into some baggies, damn!). I bought three bags of those cheap little giveaways and some clear plastic bags. My daughter loves art so I punched out hearts and cut up little decorations and she colored, glued, and glittered them all (19 of them, kill me!). We assembled the baggies together and it felt nice to be done. She is in PREschool! When both kids are in school I am in big trouble. Love doing little things that make my kids feel special but only what I feel like doing!
OMG!
I just spit out my coffee on the line "I didn't realize the teacher was my sweetheart"....hilarious :)
I've got to admit, I've had a hand in making a leprechaun trap. However, it was more like a shoebox that my kids decorated with markers and stickers. In other words, not very pretty. AND I have to admit that I actually wrote a tiny little note in tiny little hand writing pretending it was from a leprechaun. Yep, I own it. It was fun. I scarred my kids for life in the process because now they think leprechauns are real. And I always turn the milk green on St. Patrick's Day, but it's a PITA and I really wish I had never started doing it!
NOW you tell me Jenne!!! I did those damn tattoos too...and just like Jen I was bitching the entire time! I could have used you about a week ago! =)
This reminds me of the day I decided to give up on all this crafty, over-achiever crap. My beautiful and sweet and smart and very talented sister-in-law made a gorgeous wreath for Christmas out of cranberries. I thought it was so pretty, I decided to make it myself. I got bags of berries and a straw wreath form and boxes of long pins. Then I began. The instructions seemed so easy, just thread 3 or 4 berries on each needle and stick them into the wreath. Hmm. Any idiot can do that, I thought... and so I went. The problem was, you have to cover every inch of that wreath with cranberries in order to make it look good. Seriously?!?!
I appreciate the talent, but will not let it make me feel like less of a person. Each person has their own talents. My daughter was happy to give our her store bought valentines at school, and this is what I gave her this year. I like it much better...I crack myself up!
http://www.bluemountain.com/view.pd?i=265777451&m=5069&rr=z&source=bmagoogle999&c=embm63459
THANK YOU Jen...you NAILED it! And good god...the fucking Elf, really?? Can we add a punch in the face too?
I love your blog and agree with you all the time. You make me laugh. With this,however, I got Punched. Hard. I am NOT an OAM. I'm totally with you on the Elf thing and everything else. Gouci Moms cracks me up. I don't see anything wrong with making life fun for kids. Valentines Day is fun at our house. My kids took store-bought Valentines with Sweet Tarts attached. They picked them. This is what almost all kids brought. There was one sucker picture card, I thought it was cute and really not all that Over-Acheiving. It's just a picture with a hole in it. I did get my daughters teacher a gift. It was a plant that I glued pencils to the pot (yes, Pintrest!). I didn't do it to impress anyone. I did it for the teacher. I think teachers deserve way more than they get and she's a FANTASTIC, loving teacher. Any chance I get to give a teacher a gift, I do it. For the teacher, no one else. For dinner, I made heart shaped hamburgers (my husband and I laughed about it!) we ate off of heart shaped plates and heart glasses. The kids enjoyed it. That's all I care about. Each kid got a gift cert to Build a Bear-$20 and a family cookie cake. My husband and I did nothing for each other, never do. I don't need forced romance. We do enough for each other on random days. It's a fun holiday for the kids. And, yes, St. Patricks we will be doing an all green dinner (I do not recommend coloring mashed potatoes green, not so appetizing!). I'm not ashamed, the kids like it and it's fun. I've seen a lot of comments on this saying "who has time for this?" Who has time to do things for their kids? I do. None of this took anymore time than making an everyday meal and writing some names on some stupid cards. The plant took an hour. Maybe these people should read your blog about people people who complain they are too busy.I will share that I thought a FB friend was ridiculous for getting her 3 kids each a new sled, 2 movies, candy store gift cards and a box of candy. If she wants to do that, whatever. The part I thought was stupid was she posted a picture of all of them holding their things, complete comment with what everything was. The next day she posted that all day she was sad her husband hadn't gotten her anything until finally at 8:30 he whipped out a Kindle Fire and case (yes, we got a picture of that, too). This is also the mom who posted 160 pictures of her kids opening presents at Christmas. I hate that. So, I guess I'll get my pads on and prepare for my Punch on St. Pats!
Oh my gosh, NOW I am seeing entire BLOGS devoted to "daily things your elf can do all year round". Are you kidding me??? Put that stupid ELF back away, people!!!
OMG! That is too funny! My kids are now in Jr. High and we don't have to do the Valentine's crap anymore! I am sooo glad about that. My oldest daughter (22 special needs) thinks she needs gifts for every "holiday." Thanks for the good times every day
This reminds me (in a very roundabout way) of when I bought my car. The guy told me that he hoped I would give him all tens on the survey I completed after purchase. If you have to TELL me how great you are and that I should mark tens, then maybe the service wasn't so great. Same with significant others. I find that many of the people who post about their fantastic presents oftentimes have the relationships that I admire the least (I am trying to be polite.). It's like they are trying to prove something. I don't need to prove it, and I don't need to take a picture and share it with everyone.
LMAO!! I love your overachiever posts! I think I find them funnier because I usually end up falling into the category your complaining about. I will say that my Elf did not make a showing for V-Day, in fact, he's still hiding in my car glove box from our Christmas Eve sleepover at my mom's house and my kids had fruit loops for breakfast with no special colored milk (cuz it disgusts me).
That first picture is awful! Put the damn elf away! But also, if you insist on buying your child a placemat for the holiday of Valentine's Day (I'll admit, they're kinda cute) at least put it on the table right side up so that the fork is on the left where it belongs. Buy a dozen of them for all I care, but while it's there... teach your kids how to set the table the right way. Then maybe some of these "overachieving moms" can get some help setting the table for dinner instead of doing everything themselves. lol
100% agree!! Love it! I thought about throwing my tattoos away too. The "enjoy your tattoo" had me rethink it a second and then I was just going to go with "Oh, your must have fallen out" but remembered there are twins in the class. They will figure me out..
I love you. I thought it was just me getting the beat down by other overachieving mommas. I have a life and don't need to spend hours on making shit for some little snotty kids who are just going to leave it on the floor and stomp all over it.
You said it perfectly. I just had this conversation with my sister, "When did Valentine's get to be such a big holiday." I made cookies for the class party. My younger son wanted me to go out and buy lollipops for his Valentine's. I told him I spent all day baking and decorating 36 cookies, that's enough. I ended up looking like a loser, anyway. My older son came home with so much candy and bags and gifts, that I said, "Were you the only one who didn't give anything with your Valentine?" He said, yes, and that someone in his class wanted to know where his candy was! So, if you opt out of the craziness, you just end up looking like a cheap loser. I agree, parents need to rein it in!
Some holidays get so bad, I have kept my kids home that day. They are more than happy to miss a day of school, even if there is a party.
Tuesday at preschool drop-off, as I put my 3yo's Disney Princess With The Tattoos valentines in her cubby, I noticed this lineup of RIDICULOUS valentines that the other kids had brought. A mom who was in there with me, looked at her own plastic bag of Spider-Man With The Tattoos valentines looked at me and rolled her eyes. "They win. I'm cool with that." Me too. If I had time for that shit, I wouldn't freaking NEED preschool. BOOT TO THE HEAD.
I'm peeing my pants over that last sentence! Thank you, from a normal-achieving parent.
As soon as the kids are in jr high you don't have to deal with Valentines cards any more, just the moody 14yr old who loves being reminded she's not dating anyone yet.
The over achievers make me crazy as well. Thank you for bringing their problem into the light. Perhaps they need a 12 step program.
There are times I think we were separated at birth! I gave hubs a pass on valentines day years ago - DON'T buy over priced flowers and candy that I have to pay for on the CC bill the next month and call that LOVE...
But I am guilty of the green milk on St Patrick's day! With an Italian last name, I have to go all out to prove my Irish heritage each year! Since my kids complain about the corned beef and cabbage, I have to do something to entertain them:)
I read this at 4 in the morning when I was up feeding my baby. And I laughed so much. My 2 year old wasn't at Daycare on Valentines Day this year. He was there on the 15th. When I dropped him off, he got a bag full of valentines from the other kids. Never once had it crossed my mind to do Valentines for his daycare this year. I felt like such a failure. And then I read this. Whew.
You had me at overachievers, you lost me at Breaking Dawn. Totally had a higher opinion of you.
LOL... I feel bad now... I did give my 8 yr old daughter a little heart shaped basket of sugar-free gum because she likes it so much and I did also send in a few boxes of chocolates for the favorite teachers.... I never really thought about it being done so I could stand out and make everyone else look bad... I just always give my husband an enormous basket of candy at Valentines Day and since my little girl always feels left out, she got one too, and as far as the teacher went, we like her and want her to know she's appreciated. We have had other teachers we didn't like, who got nothing... But... In my defense... My daughter gave out the same store bought Valentines with tattoos... :)
I have to ask my sister permission to let you punch her blog, which is full of things like this. She made homemade heart cookies for her son't class with cutouts of melted jolly ranchers. She has made many leprechaun traps.I have to admit to being envious of how she sews all her own quilts, and paints all the pictures on the walls, and has a beautiful, perfect garden and actually cans fruit and tomatoes and does a craft with her son every day before making him a homemade balanced dinner. Sigh.
Hahaha! We made a leprechaun trap when my oldest was in Kindergarten. It was actually a project for school, but we loved it. He actually designed it and made it mostly himself. His Dad did have to help with making the little ladder. Ahhh, thanks for the memory-jogger. Good times, good times.
I want a leprechaun trap!
Next year I think the kids and I will make a santa trap. We'll dig a big hole in the yard and see if the fat bastard stealing all my glory falls in.
My sister is a total over achiever as well. She buys crafty holiday stuff for her daughter then they sort it into what she keeps and what to take.to class to share. So when I drop her off (I'm the nanny while I go to college) at daycare I have boxes of craft stuff to drop off to the class to play with. It's embarrassing to hand to teacher all this free stuff infront of the other parents dropping kids off. It's like yep, I'm totally showing you up. But my sister totally admits she's an over achiever, unlike some people who never will admit it.
The only thing my kids get from me on V-Day is one of those $1 chocolates from Walmart. Oh, and I agree with an above comment. I HATE Family Fun magazine. It's like the bible for over-achiever moms. In fact, I hate just about any parenting magazine, and the majority of books, too. They aren't based on any substantial studies, and they just serve to make moms feel like they aren't doing enough already for their kids. Plus they helped contribute to our kids being spoiled brats (btw, read about the French parenting yet? Google it if not. I want to have a mass parenting book burning.
I am a "People I want to punch in the throat" whore I love love love your blog and I am constantly stalking Er I mean checking back for new posts. You crack me up! Hell no would I make any of those over the top Valentines myself. My kids took the store bought pencil Valentines you missed out on :)
Talk about over-achiever moms--check out this site: http://www.cutefoodforkids.com/2011/06/healthy-snack-idea-apple-umbrella.html
Ok, as a teacher for 3 decades, I have seen it all through the years. The one-up-manship that mothers do has gotten out of hand. We teachers brace ourselves for the out doing the room mother contest each year. When is this going to stop? When will you get it that it all ends up in the garbage? Why can't you just have a simple cupcake party, a decorated bag for Valentines and candy and be done with it? Since when do kids need a craft, an entertainer, a movie, cookie decorating for a party? Only you who complain about such things can stop this madness. I love that a first grade teacher decided on a breakfast from 9-10:00 and it was all done for the day. When are you mothers going say NO to such antics?
I am the "goodie-bag mom" for my daughters K class. I guess I took this on because I have more money than time and sense. (I am not as terrible as this sounds, I am not rich, just really freaking busy!) Anyways, I made the stupid goodie bags for the stupid V-party, but we had storebought cards, in which my 5 year old signed her own name to, and no teacher gifts - the 22 goodie bags were her gift! I do like to see all those little shits get so excited over the mega-awesome stuff I put in the bags, though.
I don't even do Pintrest.
I love you and love to comment! :)
Devan
I will not admit to being and over achieving mom but I have done some of the things you are complaining about. In all fairness it started when I was married to my childrens father. My ex MIL dominated all major holidays. Any traditions that were mine "was stupid" and not aloud...no I'm not kidding. My now ex-husband condoned her behavior in fear of being written out of the will. Christmas..her house. Thanksgiving..her house. Easter..her house. Mothers Day..her house. Father's day..her house. 4th of July..her house. President's, Memorial and Labor day weekends (3day weekend)...you get the idea all at her house. We were even expected down for everyone's birthdays including traveling there for my ex's and our kids birthday's. We lived 2 hours away from them and every holiday they demanded we be at their house or they would threaten to write my ex and our children out of their will. I didn't care but he did. We won't get into the 2 additional weekend visits per month that were required of us on top of holidays. My parents and other family lived 15 minutes away from my ex in-laws but time was rarely allotted for us to visit. When we were given time it was usually less then 30 minutes. After a few family members passed in a short period of time I realized I was missing my family. It had been 17 years since I had any holiday with anyone in my family so I put my foot down on this foolishness and decided I was having Thanksgiving at my house that year. I gave them 2 months notice and invited them and my husbands entire family to join us and my family. My then husband agreed and backed me up on this. She gave me 2 months warning that if I went though with having Thanksgiving dinner at our home and not at their's that I would regret it. I had dinner at my house. It went great but his family chose not to come...within 2 weeks we filed for divorce. :)
Back to my point. Since all major holidays and most weekends were dominated by the ex MIL it got me thinking that all my kids happy holiday memories would be all about my MIL. The only memories they would have of me, was me busting their chops about homework and keeping there room clean. I wanted none of that. So I stared making a big deal out of Valentines, St. Patrick's,and April Fools day along with Trick-or-treat. Honestly, even several years after the divorce we still don't make a big deal over the major holidays. My boys, now 15 and 11, look forward to our wacky traditions. The best part is I now get to spend every holiday with my family or who ever I choose AND half of the major holidays with my kids in our home.
AND YES I OWN IT!!...I do it so my kids have some fun memories of the fun mom and not just the memories of the ball busting mom. :)
So I'd read this post last night and only because I had, did I know what a pic on pinterest was. For some reason I felt the need to follow the link to what turned out to be the ultimate St. Patty's Day overachiever. I had to share because I could think of nothing but punching this person in the throat. Enjoy: http://befickle.blogspot.com/2011/03/how-we-celebrate-st-pattys.html
Totally sent my 3 y.o. to preschool with the aforementioned Target tattoo Valentines. Only to have him bring home goodie bags, the notorious photo card with sucker, etc. Um, what? It's freaking Valentine's Day! I'm so with you. But I was guilty of making kabobs with 8 fruits for their Valentine's snack! :) Would be an overachiever if it weren't for having 4 kids three and under, and you know, working 50 hours a week. Damn it.
I do love green beer...or any beer for that matter.
Since when is Valentines Day about our kids anyway??? I couldnt find a single idea on Pinterest for anything vday related that was for grown ups. Nothing romantic. I gotta say I am kind of jealous of the moms who have the time and energy to make all the stupid little holidays fun and special for their kids. But I have better things to do.
I will own it. I made "S'mores" valentines for my daughter's preschool class. Normally, I don't care about that stuff and sure as hell, I will not be making St Patricks Day decorations. I just got into it this time. I decorated my house and heart-attacked a friend's front door. So for her Valentines, I put a little extra effort into it. There are only 12 kids in the class, she's my only kid in school right now, and I had most of the supplies anyway. It took me about 20 minutes to put them together. Not likely I'll ever do this again, but hey it was fun once.
And for the record, I didn't do it so other people would tell me how great of a mom I am; I just wanted them to think it. ;-)
Oh, my gosh are you hilarious! My husband sends me your links all the time, I'm sure it's because you sound just like one of my rants. My 11-year old was having a pity party this year cause our Elf doesn't do anything. I said, "Well... maybe our Elf is defective, or has a disability or something. Or... another possibility is that he IS NOT REAL, and so he doesn't do anything unless one of us does it and then props him up next to it!" After I made her cry with the harsh truth, then I felt guilty so I attached him to a huge rum bottle and put him in our Christmas letter. No clue about how the Elf made it to V-day. Isn't there a lobby group for Cupid somewhere out there who could knock him off??
I was excited to share your blog post here: http://emilyelizabethstone.com/2012/02/25/saturday-sampling/
Love it!
I agree with everything you wrote. I always give the kids the choice to make their own Valentines or buy them and they always choose store bought.
I hate to tell the kidless this, but if you have them, there will be several years (preschool - grade 2) in which the school assigns your kids the "homework" of making a leprechaun trap. Which means mommy has homework, is she's unable to push it off on dad.
pls help me if u can. this is my 1st experience with this leprechaun trap nonsense. my daughter, age 6, has to have 1 turned in on thurs. can u advise me on the absolute easiest fastest way 2 make one? i am NOT an overachiever, i think this is stupid and i'm just looking to make something that fulfills the minimum requirements- definitely not anything as fancy as the one pictured. im not painting anything. can u help me?
If anyone reads this in time, pls help me if u can. this is my 1st experience with this leprechaun trap nonsense. my daughter, age 6, has to have 1 turned in on thurs. can someone advise me on the absolute easiest, simplest, fastest way 2 make one? of course i've googled it already but the results that i've dug up so far seem to be designed for the "overachiever" mom who has the patience for this bullshit and nothing better to do with her time. i'm a single mom, im not "crafty" and i think this whole thing is ridiculous and stupid so i'm just looking to make something that fulfills the absolute minimum requirements- definitely not anything as fancy as the one pictured. (im not painting anything, or buying anything). can anyone help me? BONUS would be if anyone has an idea of how i can do this project in a sarcastic way, such as how to go about demonstrably building a "trap for something that doesn't exist" Thank you!!!
thats exactly how i feel.
not sure this helps but I found a recipe for leprechaun poop you add to it lol Lime jello and grapes could be a funny addition lol
How would you explain an empty leprechaun trap to the kids anyway?
You know what my mom did for us on St. Patrick's Day? She told us we could catch a leprechaun and get his gold if we ran around our oak tree 100 times. When we didn't catch him she said it was because we weren't running fast enough.
Man was that woman a bitch at times.
I'm almost 100% positive we have an identical brain. You have my exact same thoughts, views, and language for that matter! I'm so happy to see someone who thinks like me. I love your blog!
*clears throat* Uhhum. Yes. I have a confession to make. I am most of the time..."That" over achieving mom (well atleast in MY circle of friends I do know some moms who go way way way waaaaay beyond what I even do! And those moms FLOOR me I'm like...say whaaat?!) Anyway, YES I am one of those moms, and YES I DO enjoy being crafty and making things for my kids, and for others, and YES I'll admit the recognition feels pretty damn nice. I do try to turn every little holiday into something "special" but I don't go all crazy for them, like cupid brings nothing for my kids. I make a few home made decorations for each holiday and season. The kids have a "magical journal" that sits by the front door and sometimes something "magical" will pop in and leave a message, but uhm...the books been pretty quiet since like December when Santa left a message....oops. We intended to make a leprechaun trap. Totally forgot. So instead I made green pancakes. For my daughters vday cards I cut out all the pieces (thank GOD for Cricut machines!) and she glued all the pieces together and she made owls that said "Owl be your friend" or something like that. (I wrote on them, and she signed her name) Her box was a wooden box made at the Lowe's Build and Grow work shop, but we brought it home and painted it, she did all the word, and honestly...it looked awful and was sooo not creative but it was HERS and she totally owned the box and rocked it at school. All the other kdis had bought ones and hers was the only hand made wooden "ugly" one LOL She was proud of her ugly box, and so was I. She's only 4, we built that box together. I read your Easter Egg hunt article too, and I HATE easter egg hunts. If we do one, we do a small one AT HOME in our own yard not with a million other pushy shovey tramping parents, my daughter was ran over my a big fat woman when she was 18 months during an egg hunt, and the woman yanked a teddy bear from her screaming in her face saying THIS IS MY BEAR KID GO GET YOUR OWN it was DREADFUL My husband almost clocked the woman, no more public easter egg hunts for us! LOL My other friends are sooo NOT creative AT ALL and don't care about that crap, so to them I look like that "over achieving" mom, but compare me to REAL over achieving moms, I'm the totally not creative don't give a damn mom. LOL I'm happy with how we do things, my kids won't "expect" to be rewarded for everything, they LOSE at things, but I do my best to make their child hood special.
Oh my! I love it! I am a part time overachiving mom- but I'm not afraid to admit it. I saw your elf post but forgot about coming back- made my way back today and I am rolling on the ground laughing. Between this one and the douchy dads. AMAZING! Can't wait to read more :-)
When I say I'm a PT OAM I mean that I do some of the crazy stuff- like a naughty elf every few days but unfortunatly I'm too lazy to really go all out with it ;-)
"I give them the same thing every year...my kid will no longer be in their class."
BAHAHA. I am actually laughing out loud here. Hahahaha.
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