You Can Have My PJs When You Pry Them From My Cold, Dead Body

I don't know about you, but my mornings are a bit hectic. There are two kids who need my constant supervision (ie, yelling) to:

Get dressed - "Didn't you wear that shirt yesterday, Gomer?"
Brush hair - "Adolpha, shaking your head upside down doesn't count as brushing your hair."
Brush teeth - "Adolpha, you have more than enough strength to squeeze the toothpaste tube."
Eat breakfast - "Gomer, goldfish don't count as breakfast."
Pack lunch - "Shoot, we're out of bread again! Everyone's buying lunch today!"
Check backpack for homework - "How did you 'forget' that you had homework to do last night, Gomer?"
Find shoes - "Adolpha, you have easily 10 pairs of shoes. Find a pair on the put them on. NOT flip flops."
Wear a coat - "Yes, a COAT. It's 40 degrees outside, put on your damn coat!!!"
Get in the car - "Let's go, go, go, go! We're five minutes away from the school how are we always late?"

During that time of helpful parenting, I don't have time to take a shower and fix my hair and put on a lovely ensemble. Sure, if I worked outside of the home, I'd set my alarm for an hour before my kids get up and I'd do all that shit. But see, I don't have to do that anymore. I purposely picked a job where I don't have to wear pants if I don't want to. I can sit around in pjs all damn day without a bra. I can do that because I'm an adult. I don't have to listen to my mother anymore when she tsks my horrible hairdo or that fact that it's 4 PM and I still haven't showered -- in two days.

But there's a principal out there who has decided it's her job to make moms like me feel like shit. She's sent out a letter to the families in her school asking the moms to please not wear pajamas anymore when they drop their kids off at school. 

Her letter asked, "Could I please ask that when you are escorting your children, you take the time to dress appropriately in day wear that is suitable for the weather conditions.
"We are trying to raise standards and get better outcomes for the children and we noticed a lot of the parents are turning up to school as well as meetings and assemblies wearing pyjamas, if we're to raise standards it's not too much to ask parents to have a wash and get dressed."

First of all, I really doubt that anyone is coming to a school assembly in her flannels. They're probably ratty yoga pants.

Second of all, NOPE.

And third of all, Absolutely NOPE. I'm an adult. You don't get to tell me what to do anymore.

A few years ago, I wrote about the embarrassment of being on the carpool line one afternoon in my jammies. I've come a long way since then. I'm no longer embarrassed. I proudly wear my flannel bunny jammies and dare anyone to say something to me. I'm comfortable. I'm cozy. I'm sorry that you have an office job where you have to wear pantyhose. It sucks to be you, Madame Principal.

I mean, I'm not obscene. If I know I'm going to have to go inside and sign my kids in, I dress appropriately. Sorta. In the winter time I throw a sweatshirt or a coat on when my girls are hanging low. In the warmer months, I do put on a bra, because no one wants to see that mess. I always wear a hat to hide my rat's nest hair and I usually wipe off yesterday's makeup from under my eyes or sunglasses to cover up my raccoon eyes. I brush my teeth if I know I'm going to have to speak to anyone.

But if I'm not planning on getting out the car? Then all bets are off.

I put my time in where I wore suits and sensible heels. I work hard. I sit at a computer all day long and write. You know what's not comfortable for writing? Skinny jeans. You know what is comfortable for writing? Pajamas. In fact, I would argue that these ARE my work clothes.

I think people should dress in whatever makes them the most productive at their jobs. The last thing a mom wants to do is get up early to fix her outfit for the principal so she can come home and do laundry or clean toilets. She'll get dressed up when she has a real reason to get dressed up and it has nothing to do with drop-off and pick-up at school.

Also, someone should remind this principal that one of the most successful businessmen in America wears a t-shirt and hoodie to work every day. That's pretty much man-jammies.

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Full Spectrum Mama said...


Unknown said...

I'm a computer programmer. Sweats or P.J. are my work wear,.... OK, gym shorts or cargo pants and T-shirt with snarky imprint are my work clothes. I don't have kids that I need to take to school anymore, but I feel your pain. The principle needs to get over it.

What is it with people wanting to tell people how to run their lives. Didn't they learn anything when prohibition failed? If you can have a concealed carry license I can drive a car in P.J.'s! Get over it!!!!

RainbowChazer's Reviews said...

Nope, I'm in the disagree camp. Sure, I would RATHER sit at home all day in my pj pants and my ratty old sweatshirt that I wore when I worked retail several years ago. But the pj pants go no further than the trashcan. If I am going out of the house for shopping, driving somewhere or catching the bus, then it's chinos or jeans, trainers or boots, fleece or a tee, depending on the time of year. Plus, my local grocery store is not only the retail outlet I used to work in, but also has a bothersome policy against pjs being worn there. And several dayjob colleagues shop in the same store too. Have to keep up standards, you know?

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