Don't Poke The Mama Bear

It wasn't the throat, but it was pretty damn close!

Have you heard about the mom with the tantrum-ing kid who punched another woman in the face?

Can you say tantrum -ing? You know what I mean: the kid was throwing a tantrum.

Anyway, here's what happened: the mom is on a checkout line and her kid is having a tantrum and then this chick without a kid asks her to quiet down her kid, because it was bothering her.

She did what????

Yeah, a woman on the checkout line told another woman to shut her kid up! She says it wasn't that bad. She says she simply asked the mother to lower the volume on the kid's tantrum.

Yeah, because that can happen. How many times have you had a kid throwing a fit and the person next to you says, "Could you lower the volume on that nonsense please?" and then you say, "Hey honey, if you could just make your crying a little softer, that would be terrific?" I mean that's what you need, right? Just another interested, caring adult who offers you the solution you were looking for while your child was losing his shit.

Riiiiiiight. So the mom said, "Don't tell my child what to do!" and then I'm guessing more words were probably shared, but the parting shot was the childless woman saying, "Go to hell" as she left the store.

That's when the harried mom cracked. She followed the big mouth into the parking lot and punched her right in that big mouth. She punched her so hard that she knocked a tooth loose!

Can you believe it?

I would never condone violence, BUT I would have loved to have seen that brawl go down. Can you imagine the conversation that got us to an actual punch?

"Your kid is loud. He needs to lower the volume of his screaming."

(By the way, I'm still hung up on this part. I don't believe for one second that the woman only asked him to lower the volume of his screams. I'm positive there was a lot of "control your kid" and "you're a terrible mother" too. No one escalates from "Please lower the volume" to "Go to hell" and a punch in the face without something in between.)

I think it went like this:

"Don't tell my child what to do!"

"I didn't tell him what to do. I just asked you to ask him to lower the volume of his tantrum."

"Who do you think you are?"

"I think I'm someone who will never have kids after watching your parenting skills."

"You don't deserve kids!"

"My dog has better manners than your kids!"

"You're a barren wasteland who could never have kids even if you found someone willing to fuck you."

"You don't deserve that kid. You should have never been a mother."

"Shut up."

"You should tell your kid to shut up."

"I'm going to shut you up!"

"You can't shut up your kid, what makes you think you can shut me up? And by the way, I do get fucked. All the time. By your husband."

"More like by your dog!"

"Go to hell!"

POW! Right in the kisser.

Holy cow!

Look, I get irritated by a crying kid just as much as the rest of you, but I've never actually asked a mom to quiet her kid down. Why? Because I know how fucking hard it is when you're out in a public place and your kid decides to melt down. I know what it feels like to have everyone in the store looking at you and judging you and thinking, That woman can't control her kid. I've been there and it sucks. You're doing what you can and your kid is melting down for reasons that can't be explained and the last thing you need is some all-knowing bitch telling you to lower the volume on your kid. Back it up, bitch.

Here's what she didn't understand. I can think my kid is an asshole and I can tell him to shut up, but if you say something about him, you're going to get a beat down. It just should have been a verbal one rather than a physical one. This is a situation where "Namaste" would have fit perfectly rather than a fist to the mouth.

The best part of this story is where it happened. I know what many of you are thinking. It must have been Walmart. It sounds like the perfect location for an altercation like this. Maybe at the concession stand at a kids' soccer game. Kids' sports can be a battlefield.

Nope. It was at Nordstrom Rack!

I don't know why I'm so surprised. Nordstrom Rack is where I had one of the most traumatizing experiences of my life. I didn't see someone get punched, but I saw things I can't unsee.

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mspice3 said...

What the crap? We are all in this together people...when this happens, you just look away in sympathy, pretend you don't see it and thank God it's not happening to you this time!

Sue said...

I don't have kids, but I do know what it's like to have one of those days. Most people do. Days where nothing's going right and the world is tap dancing on your last nerve. What's so hard about showing a little sympathy to someone whose kid is deep in tantrum territory? A glance of understanding or a simple, heartfelt, "Rough day, huh?" and a rueful smile can go miles. If the aggrieved mom goes medieval on that, well, it's on her.

Mike Cruse said...

What the hell?!? Oh man, would I have paid top dollar to witness that.

Unknown said...

Right on the money, Sue!

Jessica B said...

Oof, that sucks. I have four kids and over the span of 25ish years, I've learned a thing or two about kids being cranky brats. It happens, and it's normal. The problem is totally in the way that the parents handle it. The kids aren't the boss, the parent is, and the sooner that's established, the better. There's nothing wrong with a kid having a little healthy fear of their parents. My method of parenting was pretty much 98% patience and management, 1% freaking ignoring crappy behavior, and 1% losing my ever-loving shit. The fear of that little 1% was all it took with my kids. (losing my shit basically involved me screaming like a lunatic)

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