Happy St. Patrick's Day from the Elf on the Shelf?


Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!!  Did the naughty Leprechaun visit in the night and leave cornstarch footprints or did you did you decide it was better to get up early so you could hit the local Irish pub at dawn for kegs and eggs (remember those days)?

Guess what?  I did not make a Leprechaun Trap.  Surprising, I know.  I decided to reserve my craftiness since I've been warned that I will actually have to make one in a few years as a school project!!  Are you kidding me?!  I can't wait to hear the educational value of that!

I knew there were some OAM St. Paddy's Day shenanigans out there and I wanted to see what I could find.  I was disappointed to see those girls really slacked off on St. Paddy's Day!  I could only find the occasional rainbow cake, a couple of lame traps and recipes for corned beef and cabbage.  With these results, I felt like an overachiever with my plans to serve Lucky Charms for breakfast (no green milk though, I don't think my kids would touch it)!

And then I thought of Blossom.  My first OAM friend.  Surely she's got something special planned!  Surely she has 101 Ideas for Mischievous Leprechauns or something equally ridiculous!  Maybe only 22 Ideas since St. Paddy's Day is one day and the whole Christmas season is 25 days.  She loves to go above and beyond with her lists.

Maybe she'd suggest a green carpet you can roll out for the Leprechauns, dye the toilet water green and call it Leprechaun pee, dump trash all over the driveway and use green paint to leave footprints, shred all the magazines and newspapers in the house or leave "gold nuggets" (spray painted lima beans, of course) in the kids' beds (are those gold nuggets or Leprechaun shit?).  I just knew she'd have some great ideas for me.  So I stopped by Blossom's site and saw this:


Are you kidding me?!  That stupid Elf!!  Noooo....if anyone would trot the Elf out again for St. Paddy's Day it would be her.  (OK, and me.  I actually brought him out just yesterday.  What is wrong with us, Blossom??)

I have to admit, it's kind of funny though.  See, this is what I like about OAMs like Blossom.  She can laugh at herself.

Happy St. Patrick's Day...from the Elf!?  Really?  Oh well, at least he didn't bring a gift.  We can NOT start that shit up.

Hey, Blossom - you and your OAM friends had better get cracking!  Easter is coming and I'm expecting big things from you guys!


When you visit Blossom's website please remember that Blossom is an OAM who knows it and owns it.  She's the kind of OAM we like.  There's no need to flame her.

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44 comments:

Tracy said...

I have one of those OAM friends IRL. She's awesome, and I love her, even if she does make me feel inadequate every time I read her status updates lol.

Derpina Derp said...

My kids came to me at 8pm last night screaming, "TomorRow is St. Patrick's Day! We have to make a leprechaun trap!!"

Shizznits! I'd totally spaced this one. Thanks to the hubs for dragging is arse down to Walgreens and picking up some chocolate coins. He even made a halfassed trap out of a diaper box, bless him. We usually decorate said box, which I fill with all sorts of goodies from Target's dollar section, but the kids didn't seem to notice a difference, bless 'em

Anonymous said...

I am an oam in my head, great ideas...but that's where it stops, no energy for achieving them. (sigh)

Caroline said...

I saw a photo on pinterest of little sparkly green footprints on the toilet seat with green water in the bowl. Gross! Who does that? Oh yeah, the same people who think it's fun at baby showers to put mashed up candy bars in diapers and make the nauseated mom-to-be guess what kind of baby sh*t she's eating.

Derpina Derp said...

Good thing they're used to having an UAM. MUCH less disappointment, lol.

Steve, Christa, Emily, Meghan, Charles & Elizabeth said...

We actually brought our Elf out for today with some chocolate gold coins, and dyed the milk green. Our Elf has actually also been sending some postcards. Our oldest was very upset to see him go at Christmas and didn't want him to leave so this has been fun for her. Damn Elf.

Anonymous said...

We have a dog. Leprechauns are afraid of dogs and that's why they don't come to our house. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

PS - hate that damn elf

Kathleen M said...

That made me laugh out loud!! Thank you!

Useless Housewife said...

I am a firm believer in old school St. Patrick's Day. Pinch those not wearing green, get super drunk, and keep it as an adult f'ing day!!! I'm tired of Super Bowl parties being about the kids, family friendly New Year's Eves, and anything else where I once could get sloppy drunk and swear like a J.B. Hunt graduate. So go down that bastard elf in Irish car bombs, puke on him, and forget him like we would all like to do with the OAMs.

Amanda @ Life, Experience Needed said...

Haha, our elf is planning on sending an Easter surprise for both my kids from the North Pole. I guess I'm an OAM ;-)

Anonymous said...

Um... We are supposed to do something for St. Patrick's Day even if we aren't irish? Crap! Wait.. isnt' that like celebrating Christmas if we are Jewish??

Doh on another one!
Marvelous Mo's Mom

#Tryingtobeagoodmom said...

I really like your comment about Lucky Charms ... I had the same thought in the cereal aisle this week ... "how cute would that be for St. Patrick's Day?" I'm so original. I did, however, make green pancakes (from scratch) in the shape of shamrocks. But they sucked and not even my 2yo wanted to eat them. HA!

Red said...

I think green lima beans are leprechaun poop (explains a lot about their grossness), but spray painted gold they can be "gold nuggets".

I think I came a little late to the game: What's an "OAM"? Am I a total goober for not knowing that?

Anonymous said...

I am afraid my kids will be in therapy because we did nothing more than some green art....but i have a OAM friend that made the toilet water green and put two little green fooprints on the seat. i guess the little guy had to take a piss.....

Anonymous said...

Ha ...me too. ended up in trash

Anonymous said...

@ Red:
Over-Achieving Mom aka Super-mom or Friend of Martha (Stewart)

SLafleur

Marian said...

OAM - Over achieving mom

Marian said...

My poor kids are so unloved they didn't even get a freaking box of Lucky Charms.

Anonymous said...

Me too!

Peeke said...

I hate going to showers where they do that...its so gross and tacky!

Daily Messes said...

I did go a little overboard. My son wanted to build a trap, which I did not want to do, so the leprechaun left them pots of 'gold' (yellow and gold wrapped candy). I just started my own blog, in which I am slightly a OAM ;) If anyone is interested, it's www.DailyMesses.com !

Anonymous said...

That Elf better look out I'm pretty sure a leprechaun will kick his ass.

Jamie said...

OMG - does that make me a complete slacker for doing nothing with my kids on St. Patty's day EVER?!?!? They are 14 and 10 and I'm pretty sure they don't give a fat f#$% about today other than pinching people.

*sigh* I must have failed. Oh well, on to the next disaster =)

re said...

Y'all, I married a guy whose family is one, maybe two generations off the boat. EVERY day is St. Pat's around here. My children are so used to fiddle music, cabbage and beer it's practically criminal.

Gypsie said...

Maybe I was sheltered (and that appears to be a good thing) but 1) I've never heard of Elf on the Shelf until I read that post on your blog and 2) I've never heard that you were supposed to make a leprechaun trap or that they were mischievous. I only remember the crappy horror movie, Leprechaun.

Velvet625 said...

Shaking my head and rolling my eyes, what is it about your blog that keeps me laughing!!! Totally loving it!

Anonymous said...

Ooops! All I did was dress the kiddos in cute green outfits and drag them to Hooters with me so the hubby and I could drink some green beer and eat chicken wings! Lol.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for clearing that up. I too had no idea what OAM meant.

Bethany said...

I do know someone who turned their toilet water green for today. I can't get behind that sort if thing.

tanya said...

I left all the leprechaun shenanigans up to the teachers at school-and they did a fine job ALL WEEK LONG! (OATs!) I can totally see the Elf becoming a year round pest-present for every holiday in various different costumes. In the not too distant future he will have his own holiday.

liz said...

We buy our kids beer for St. Patrick's Day. They're old enough though, so it might not work for your kids.

Marcella said...

We need to be friends... lol

QuarantinedKiddos said...

My 4yo daughter came home from school on Friday and said, "Mommy, tonight the little men are going to come in the house and throw clothes all over the place and make a big mess while they're looking for a place to hide their gold!" The what is going to what now?! I have 8, 6, and 4 yos and we've never had a visit on St. Pat's day. After a quick late night trip to IParty, I got the goods. So, while the kids slept, the leprechaun tossed their drawers, left shamrock confetti all over, and a trail of gold (chuck e cheese tokens) to a paper treasure chest with a few chocolates, more tokens, cans of green silly string and green necklace beads.

Two strokes of genius came out of this. One, I informed the kids of how rare and lucky this was, because leprechauns only go to a few houses each year and he never came to my house growing up so this is probably a 1 time thing. Two, I made them clean up the leprechaun's mess. Ha! First time I made the mess and got to have them clean it up! See? Genius!

Jess and Barry Murphy said...

too bad you missed this one http://www.stevespangler.com/teaching-moments/leprechauns-strike-again-with-green-water/

Claire B said...

Thank you! I'm NOT Irish. I'm not Catholic. I don't have to celebrate saint's days and I don't have to wear green and I'm sure as hell not eating boiled beef and cabbage! Gross! If I do see a cheeky damn leprechaun around here I will steal his gold AND his lucky charms and I won't share them with my son. Now, if the Elf on the shelf showed up with a keg of Guinness, I might be able to put on a parade but otherwise, stop making up sh*t to celebrate with children. We have enough to do just feeding and dressing them ;-)

TNMom said...

Unless that damn elf made you a super-duper blogging gozillionaire driving a free minivan (you are SO close Jen), then he needs to stay in the box, for the love of GOD!
Devan

Unknown said...

I didn't even know people did creative things for St. Patrick's Day until last night my daughter lost her first tooth and a friend made a comment about how we were so lucky we would be getting a visit from The Tooth Fairy and a Leprechaun. Well this morning my daughter woke up really sad because the tooth fairy forgot to come. Oops..my Husband and I are terrible for forgetting my daughters first Tooth Fairy experience. I just told her a Leprechaun came and played a trick on her and secretly made the switch during breakfast. :)

Savvagekitty said...

Great post as usual. Also thank you for getting St. Paddy's right.
A great website
http://paddynotpatty.com/

alanaransley said...

My daughter got a new shirt to wear to school today. That was the extent of our celebrating, and my kids don't know any different.

sheshe said...

I'm telling you - my kid learns all this shit at school. He is only 5 and was so excited that I did dye some milk green and picked up some cheap coins at Party City. Took 5 minutes and he was beyond delighted. The funniest part was the next hour where he went on a hunt to see waht mischief the leprechaun got into and wound up pointing out things like - he left us a bunch of dirty laundry and he left dishes in the sink. Uh...yes. That little bastard :)

Heather said...

I scrolled through this entire comment section to see if someone had asked...just cause I felt stupid for asking. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Found this on my Facebook page today.

http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2013/03/lets-bring-holidays-down-notch.html?m=1#idc-cover

She has tons of comments, most in agreement but some angry. Sound familiar? Maybe she is Jen's evil twin, ha ha ha.

Amanda Dearest said...

Yes this!

Amanda Dearest said...

Took me a minute as well, and im totally not new. Shows how UAM I actually am. Cant even retain the good adult stuff!!

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