Hey,
it's me, Punchy. I've been meaning to write you a letter for a long
time. I'm sorry it's so long overdue. I guess I just haven't been
that motivated to write you since I'm home all day. Maybe if I was
stuck in cubicle hell I'd be inspired to write to you.
Anyhoo,
it doesn't matter. The important thing is that I am finally getting
it done!
First,
let me start with the accolades. Congrats on the new Yahoo gig. What
a great opportunity for you to set such a fine example for young
girls like my daughter, Adolpha. I'm sure young women around the
country are looking up to you as a hero. BTW, how amazing was it that
you were hired as the youngest CEO of a Fortune 500 company? Plus all this happened while you were pregnant! Has that ever even been
done before? (I'm sure at least one guy on the board thought you were
just fat or something and didn't realize you were cooking a bun, am I
right?)
Look,
I know you got a little flack about your maternity leave. I get it. I
do. You could
not
have won that argument. Everyone had their opinion on just how much
maternity leave you were going to need. At one end of the argument,
you had board members and shareholders who wanted you to birth your baby in the office
during a conference call, and at the other end you had earth mommies
everywhere demanding that you take at least six months to properly
bond with your baby, eat your placenta, and heal your aching hooha.
There was no way to appease everyone. You had to do what was right
for you.
I
must admit though, I really thought that two weeks was a bold
statement. When you first announced you'd only take two weeks
maternity leave, I thought, That's so cute that Marissa thinks
she's only going to need two weeks. It's her first baby and she's so
used to everything going her way, but babies throw even the strongest
people for loops. I hope she's ready to take off at least a month. But
nope, you proved me wrong and you were back in the executive suite
within two weeks, just as promised. Kudos to you (and the robotics
team who built you)!
I
didn't hear much about you again for a while, until last week when
you dropped the bomb on all of your Yahoo employees that they must
come in to work and toil in a cube all day.
Marissa,
girl, what are you thinking??
Come
on, you really took that whole "there's a new sheriff in town"
thing way too far. Remember, when I said earlier that you're
like a hero to women in the workforce everywhere? Yeah, I take that
back. You're Gordon Gecko's hero.
I'm
not going to get all scientific on you, but did you know there are
tons of studies out there that say that people are actually a lot
more productive from their home offices?
Take
me, for example. I am writing this on a Sunday afternoon. I'm not
wearing pants. Seriously. OK, I have pajama bottoms on, but they're
so pajama-y that I wouldn't even wear them to Wal-Mart. I've been
taking breaks from writing this so I can throw in a load of laundry
and help my kids with their homework. I will most likely finish this
piece tonight from the comfort of my bed once my kids are tucked in.
If
you told me I had to drag my ass into the office to write this, it
would never get done. Because I suck at the office. Truly. Ask anyone
who has ever been my boss. I'm that office worker who thinks "collaboration" means hanging out
in the break room all day re-hashing last night's episode of
Survivor. (“Hey, did you guys see Phillip running around the
island in his pink panties again? The Hubs was all, 'Where do you
even buy pink men's underwear?' Hey, do you guys know? Because I
think it would be funny to get him a pair for his birthday.”) I'm
always watching the clock and/or staring out the window. I steal
office supplies. I can't get enough Bic for Her pens! Corporate attire (even Casual Friday) sucks the life out of me
and literally makes me livid. I spend a ridiculous amount of
time and money on Amazon and Ebay just to fight the boredom and break
up my day with mail deliveries.
After working from home for the last 10 years, I can't even imagine how pissed off I would be to hear that now I've got to suit up and chain myself to a desk again.
Your
workers must hate you, Marissa. If they didn't hate you when you put
down the law with your 1987 Baby Boom-esque work ethic, then
they'll definitely hate you when the nursery you are installing next
door to your office is done. I know, I know. You're paying for the
nursery out of your own pocket. Yeah, you kind of have to. Only golf
course memberships and strip clubs can go on the CEO expense reports. I really doubt that this will be a new work-life balance option for
all your employees. If you did allow your employees to bring their
babies to work, you'd probably ask everyone to just keep them under
their desks so they won't interfere with productivity.
Way to weed out the best!
Sincerely,
Jen
PS - You have my permission to run this letter on the front page of Yahoo if you think it would help boost morale.
OK, so what do you think? Is this a good idea for Yahoo employees?
Hey, I've been nominated for a Bloggie. Actually, two, but I don't want to get greedy. I just want to win WEBLOG OF THE YEAR. If you have a minute (really, it takes a whole minute) to vote for me I'd appreciate it.
Photo source: Freedigitalphotos
59 comments:
UH NO. It is without a doubt the stupidest idea ever. Because, hello, who will actually want to work there...certainly no one with any talent. Or desire to have a work/life balance. Way to go Marissa.
Jeez, what a killjoy. I'm all for working from home. It doesn't really work for me, personally, since elementary schools are kind of sticklers about being there to watch the children and everything...
I could use some new office supplies. I only have 40 post it note pads left.
I disagree, actually. Working at home tends to lead to more fucking around in my experience.
Even more so, however, I can't say that I feel sorry for the Yahoo employees. Those are some first-world problems right there. "I have to go to my OFFICE to go to WORK! Slave drivers!" No. That's some crybaby bullshit. You work for someone else, you do it on their terms - and asking an employee to work in an office is not a ridiculous request, not in the least.
Dear Marissa,
I quit. Suck it.
Sincerely,
Every yahoo employee who loved their job because of the parenting freedoms it allowed them.
Except for when those were not the terms agreed to when the employee took the job. Asking an employee to come into the office is not unreasonable. Would it be unreasonable however, to tell a 9-5 office employee that starting now without exception, all of you will work 12am-8am?
"For me, it's God, family and Yahoo -- in that order." --Marissa Mayer
But she wants everyone else to put work before family. Hypocrite!
Generically speaking it's a horrible idea that goes against everything I think and the way most of the tech world works now.
Having said that, for Yahoo! and given its current state of being a complete mess, this is right for them and a good step to reign at least part of their problem.
I wrote about it last week. Let me know what you think. http://thecubicleviews.com/2013/02/27/shes-only-mostly-right/
Bitch. Her, not you. of course.
No. But like you said, asking an employee to come to the office is not unreasonable. The two are different. One request is reasonable; the other is not.
When I read the article I wanted to punch her in the throat too! Some people actually work much better at home and not being chained to their desk for 10+ hours a day.
I agree with you Jen! I've been wondering when you were going to post about this. Nicely done!
I'm thinking that she's looking to get rid of A LOT of dead weight at Yahoo! - the company is tanking and, apparently, a lot of people who were "working" from home weren't really.
Some people can be productive at home, but some jobs require you to work at the same time as everyone else on the same thing. I know of some other less famous companies that used the same thing to weed out the dead weight after mergers/spin-offs etc. My husband's team managed to unload three people who were nothing but dead weight by requiring them to show up at work and do their jobs - much quicker and easier than months of remediation and write-ups.
I'm going to play devil's advocate a bit here. To be fair, since Marissa is the CEO of Yahoo, could it be possible that she is privy to a few details that the rest of us outsiders are not? Yahoo is not exactly a thriving company. It's a company in trouble - one that used to be on top, but is no longer. Obviously, whatever culture the company has right now is not working. I would assume that this is part of her attempt to turn it around.
I do agree that the method of delivery for the new policy (just an email, no meeting or in-person delivery by her or any of her C-suite compadres) left something to be desired. I also think her building herself a nursery at the same time is kind of gauche, but personally I would take it as an excuse to bring my own kids to work. ;)
I agree, this is to weed out who actually works and who doesn't. Unfortunately, this type of program leads to a lot of waste and abuse. My company will offer a laptop to take home to work on occasion, but your @ss better be in the office if it's not an emergency.
No comment about Marissa's edict. I share your sentiments.
On a lighter note, I think Phillip gets his pink panties by washing tighty-whitey undies with something new and RED. :)
I agree.I bet she was thinking,"What's the easiest way to get rid of some of these fucktards?If I make them all come to work for awhile,I can weed out the lazy ass workers and replace them with people who want to work."Seriously,I don't think they'll have a shortage of applicants willing to come in to the office.
I agree that asking them to come into the office is not unreasonable in and of itself. However, from what I've been reading on this, it looks like many (if not most) of the people who are now being told they have to come into the office were hired for jobs that did not require them to work from a Yahoo office, it looks like there's a good number of employees who don't even live near one of the yahoo offices so for them to come to work in the office every day will mean they have to pick up and move because of this. I get what she was trying to do with this, but there has to be a better way. Maybe she should have grandfathered all the current employees in and started the "no work from home" rule with new hires or when people transition into different positions within the company.
Hell no. This was a horrible idea by an already flailing company.
I agree that any 'worker friendly' policy can be abused, and that there are definitely people out there who claim to be working from home when they're not. Thing is, if you're going to a policy like this to weed out the dead wood, the standard needs to be evenly applied.
I've seen plenty of people who show up at the office every day yet still manage to stay under the radar while doing absolutely nothing. And most companies will require corrective action as a token means of rehabilitating dead wood before firing slackers outright. Yeah, it's possibly easier to see them when they're actually in the office, but companies are so risk averse that they want to build a big set of proof before firing anyone.
Jen, we are sisters of the same ilk... wrote a letter to her as well....maybe we should inundate her with pissed mother blogger posts? LOL....great letter!
I think there's probably a balance they're missing. I think some jobs are better suited to working at home than others, but I think a better solution would be to require them to work from the office on certain days. This way, there would be the increased collaboration she's looking for, but they would still be able to work from home as well.
My husband was hired for a position in his company that was 50% telecommute. His office is still very flexible with him. You know what? He gets his work done no matter what. He stays up until 3 a.m. if he has to. He does this because he appreciates the flexibility from his employer. If he worked at a company like Yahoo, he'd be the first one out the door.
She's built a nursery next to her office. My guess is she has a nanny that goes to work with her and the baby every day. She's achieved her mega-corp position not just from talent but also because she's been the person who is often most willing to put in the longest hours. The point is, she DOES work from home. It's just not from her house.
Yep, she's weeding out the slackers, including the ones who show up to the office currently, because now there will be others around to se that they wander around all day doing fuck all nothing.
I bet once things are going well for yahoo again, WFH will be reinstated.
Working from home certainly isn't for everyone. I'm a freelancer, so I work from home, but my husband wouldn't be nearly as productive as I am at home. Marissa's change of Yahoo's policy IS a good way to weed out the people taking advantage of the benefit, but for those of us who work better at home (and who have worked their lifestyle around that flexibility), it's a deal-breaker. I've been freelancing from home since I was pregnant with my first child, and I took care of both of my kids as needed, while still getting my work done during school and naps and after bedtime. If that were taken away from me and I had to put my kids in daycare to go into an office, I'd find something else. So many employers are moving toward flexible workplaces, and for Yahoo to go backwards, it must mean that there's something else to the story.
In reality is that it might be more to it that lead her to take that decision; it might help to weed out the bad, yes. But she might loose some good employees in the process, yes.
I figure there is something bigger going on, either she wants to get rid of people who are abusing the system, or just make sweeping cuts. If these people have valuable skills, yeah its a pain trying to find a new job, but worth it to have a better work/life balance. Lets not kid ourselves, most these people, if they have the cojones and the skills to back it up, could end up in a better position with a company that isn't floundering its way into the 21st century. Win/win
My problem with it is she is building a nursery next to her office, but is now telling other parents you need to find child care for your kids. It's not easy finding good affordable child care. These families now have commuter expenses. What if the family only had one car because one worked at home?
Asking an employee to come to the office is not unreasonable; asking an employee who lives in Tulsa, OK, to come in to the San Jose, CA, office he is employed out of effective immediately IS unreasonable. Because that is what happened. People were hired for telecommuting jobs from all over the country and are now being told to report to the office 5 states away.
We need to give her a break-- I think she may be suffering from PPD Postpartum Douchebaggery. It's real, people.
Check out Amazon. Search for "Men's Pink Briefs" and you will see that there are A LOT of pink men's panties out there.
Like American Apparel's - http://www.amazon.com/American-Apparel-Brief-X-Large-Pink-White/dp/B009AJGUOW/ or Andrew Christian's with built-in banan hammock - http://www.amazon.com/Color-Vibe-Boxer-Bubble-Large/dp/B00B081M12/
Yeah, you have to understand people build their entire lives around their work-from-home schedules. Some have families who rely on them for soccer practice or other obligations. Some have spouses who also work and they've worked out the routine based on at least one person working from home. Daycare, school, meals, pickups...all are scheduled around the idea of someone working from home. Chances are more than just the employees are being affected. Working from home works GREAT for some people and indeed studies have found that workers in some fields are just as, if not more, productive at home as in the office. Call it flexibility, call it work/life balance, call it people wanting to have a life outside of work -- it's something we could ALL benefit from in the long run. They could have handled this more graciously and found balance rather than just banning it outright. Many, many people took a job at Yahoo BECAUSE of this policy and to just yank the rug out from under them is ridiculous.
Hey Judge: So, what would you have the family do who has the parent who deliberately chose a job where he could telecommute because Mom has health issues & is unable to drive? Oh, too bad for you & your kids...they don't get to go to school anymore (the school bus doesn't pick up here) and I guess those appointments at the university hospital will just have to wait..or, I guess I could walk there? Hmm, if it takes an hour by car, I should probably start 2 days before my appointment.
Very few Google Engineers can work from home on a full-time basis. They have to be exceptional.
Well said, Jen. This woman is so clearly out of touch with her employees AND reality. If I was a Yahoo employee, I would jump ship faster than my kids can eat an Oreo.
So people with families need to spend more on childcare and more on gas consumption. Nice.
Hey Wicked SteppMom: People deal with those problems all the time and still go to work. I'm not saying her solution is perfect. I'm just saying it's not unreasonable.
Wait... what? Yahoo is still around... I thought they went belly up years ago!
That is how a majority of CEO's are. It is sickening and maddening, but true.
Most of these people already had their children at daycare. Working at home doesn't mean that you are watching your kids too. But it does allow you to find a daycare close to home and take away the long commute that those in metro areas often have. You can get 2 hours of your day back to your family without going into the office. There are also numerous distractions at the office and you are not able to get your work done on time so your either stay at the office later taking away more time from your family or you don't get the work done. Telecommuters can spend 3 quality hours with their families at the end of the day, put the kids to bed and get back to work. If they under perform don't make them come back to the office, fire their asses!
BTW - most people who are allowed to work from home are not also supposed to be caring for small children at the same time. It doesn't exactly lend itself to taking care of important job-related phone calls or focusing on work.
In most work environments, doing your work at 3:00 in the morning, when you are supposed to be collaborating with others and/or providing tech support during working hours doesn't cut it.
That is because she can afford to have nannies, housecleaners, cooks etc., some people have to do those things themselves and still work long hours.
She's just desperate to put her stamp on the company. Doing something different and obvious shows she is doing something. So when Yahoo finally does go belly up, she can pretend she tried to fix it. There is a reason a company like Yahoo goes with someone with zero experience. Because no one else wanted the job.
I would exactly ditto commenter "Robyn". She said it perfectly. I agree though, I would be LIVID!!! <3 Devan
she's trying to save the entire company from not having to find new jobs. . . I'd want to help with that. . . or I might want to find an new job. . . either way, if I choose not to come into work, yeah, I'm finding another job.
Tell Hubs it's called washing your white underwear with a red shirt. What man doesn't have pink panties?
http://marginalia.wendywainwright.com
Yup another dumb ass who thinks she can save the world (Yahoo) and the only problem is she is a complete Yahoo and tool herself!! Seriously, what kind of sadist does this to her employees. Like you said Google is hiring and everyone could use some spare office supplies now and then. Great retort Jen and wouldn't expect any less!!
Being CEO of Yahoo may be like be the CEO of Blockbuster A point to ponder. Ellen
She is trying to bring the Google culture (where she cut her teeth) with her to Yahoo. Very few Google employees are allowed to telecommute full-time.
You truly are at your best when you are ripping someone a new one!
And yahoo? Is it even relevant anymore?
Robyn,
I was scrolling through the comments looking for someone who felt the same way I did - and I came across your comment. I also presume there must be some pretty solid data showing that the folks working from home are either underperforming or are non-performers and the best way to weed them out / light a fire under their asses is to make a statement like she did.
I'm terrible working at home, yet super-awesome in an office environment...
Wait a minute...is the nursery for all the Yahoo kids or just hers? Lame.
I agree with both of you. I'm in grad school right now, with no classes on Fridays. Although I live 25 minutes away from school, I still drive in on Fridays, because I know I will be useless at home and get nothing done. For Mayer to make this drastic change, she must feel there are some serious issues that can be addressed by this policy change. And I also bet that at some point she will make some exceptions for individual employees.
Over the last four years my company has: Cut everyones pay 10%, not agreed to when I was hired; elimnated family health insurance, not agreed to when I was hired; ended vacation time accrual, not agreed to when I was hired; ended company 401K contributions, not agreed to when I was hired, eliminated direct deposit of paychecks, not agreed to when I was hired...you get the picture. Companies can do these things and they must to save the company and ALL the jobs. Some of the things are being reinstated, the company is coming back to life and at any point of the last 4 years, I/we had the choice to leave at will if it didn't work for us any longer. I applaud her actions and hope it works. All the whiners can suck it up and either bail out or stick it out but STFU about it.
Best letter ever! As if the american maternity leave could get any lower... TWO weeks. She's setting the female worker back more than she knows.
Hire a bad employee, get bad work -- on location or off. Hire someone that is a professional and understands that your work speaks for you -- then you have a solid asset. I have worked remotely for 10+ years as a developer. I am overloaded with work because I have integrity, a little OCD, and take pride in what I deliver. I work in an agile environment, which means I am on a team of developers, and have to always be available during work hours. Being remote has NEVER inflicted what I do, and in fact I work with a lot of developers in the same position. Stop deciding if on or off location is better, and just find the right people to work for you. Marissa Mayer is a corporate mouthpiece -- and not a geek. Because if she was... she wouldn't be talking the bullshit she is.
There are not many people that fall under the category of people I loathe on this planet but, Marissa Mayer is one of them.
She has single handedly ruined one of the best all around Internet email platforms (Yahoo's Classic Email) and turned it into the biggest pile of degenerate crap I have ever seen on the internet! It's so bad that I had to find another email client to work with. I did and it works great. Only problem is, that I still have some correspondence that hasn't switched yet. So, what this means, is that sometimes I have to go onto Yahoo's sloppy, mangled, interface that has so much gobbledygook programming (that does not work) under the hood that I can type faster than the keystrokes appear on the editor window!
In the larger picture she's actually ruined Yahoo!
Being really young in some cases is a detriment. It's obvious she's not an old school person that likes a simple, clearly defined email interfaces that work efficiently without all of the extra crap!
Hell, she probably never uses the on line email she's butchered!
It used to be when you composed a NEW email to someone that it became its own listing. Now, whenever I compose NEW email to someone it gets bundled into all of the previous emails. Like I said, the new email is polluted with really crappy, over the top, gee whiz look what I can do programming.
I do hate her. I wish I could throw her through a chipper shredder.
It took you all day to write this article? I can't say I don't agree with her decision. Work is work not playtime either get your ass to the office or enjoy the ride home.
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