Open Letter to Beyonce & Jay-Z

UPDATE:  This is the article I read that upset me. 

Is anybody else tired of celebrities being treated like royalty?  Because I sure am.  I read a lot over the last couple of days about Beyonce and Jay-Z's escapades at the hospital and it really made me upset.  I was a NICU parent 7 years ago and I can't imagine being denied access to my kid because a celebrity also happened to give birth when I did.

So I've written an open letter to Beyonce and Jay-Z and I really hope they read it.

Dear Beyonce and Jay-Z,

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter.

I was glad to hear that you were able to have your friends and family (including your makeup artist) come and visit you and your new daughter and you were able to have a catered lunch.

That's great.

But what I really want to talk to you about are the NICU parents sharing the hospital with you whose feelings you didn't take into account for one second.

Was it really necessary to lock down the entire floor and block parents from the NICU just so you could use the hallway?  I get that you're big stars and you have to worry about security and whatnot, but there's no reason to be complete assholes.

You know how right now you feel an overwhelming love for Blue mixed with a little fear, uncertainty and anxiety?  Well, NICU parents feel that times a million and the last thing they need is more stress added to their already stressful lives by a couple of divas (you're one too, Jay-Z, don't deny it) who think no one else has ever given birth before.

My bitty baby.
As a former NICU parent I can tell you how easy it is to flip flop back and forth between the excitement of having a new baby and the heart-stopping fear that your child is not well.

When you're in the NICU it is almost unbearable to pass the "normal" parents in the halls who have the pleasure of choosing whether or not they want their baby in the room with them, choosing whether to breastfeed or bottle feed, or the worst: the parents taking large, robust babies home in adorable outfits with lots of photo ops while your child is still hooked up to machines and fighting to live.

These are the parents you had no regard for.

When you're in the NICU, you get 2 maybe 3 visitors allowed at a time.  Each visitor must scrub in like a surgeon before they're allowed in the nursery.  Some visitors are barred at the door if they show any sign of a sniffle or a cough - that is certain death for many of the babies in the NICU.  Some babies are so sick they can't be handled, so their parents just gaze at them and whisper words of encouragement like, "C'mon buddy, you need to fight now.  You need to be strong, because Daddy and I love you so much and we need you to be with us."

Those are the kinds of memories these new parents were making while you were hosting a catered lunch.

The NICU parents were eating cold soup from a vending machine and realizing that the perfect birth they imagined was not happening and what they really needed was some compassion and instead they got hassled - by your "staff."

When you're in the NICU, you need support and lots of it.  You need your family and your friends to rally around you and keep you going.  Some parents are in the hospital with their babies for days, weeks, months and all they live for are the visits that continue to sustain them.

Imagine the distress of these parents - the ones you didn't care about - to find that their loved ones had been relocated or stopped from visiting.  Not for a cold, but because someone in your entourage needed to go out for a smoke or whatever was so important to shut down the hallway.

Were these measures really necessary?  I get that you need to worry about your security, but on the other hand, what are the chances that someone who wants to injure you, your baby or one of your visitors just happens to be in Lenox Hill Hospital with a baby in the NICU that day??  Pretty low is my uneducated guess.

We all want to protect our children, but covering up security cameras sounds like a way to protect your wallet more than your child.  It makes no sense to me that you're so worried some crazy person is going to get you that you install bullet proof windows and doors, but then you cover the security cameras?  If, for some reason (God forbid), someone did get in, you'd need those cameras to help catch that person.

I think you covered the cameras because you want to be sure no one has a picture of Blue.  You want to be the ones to sell her image to the highest bidder without the worry that a grainy surveillance photo is out there.  By covering the cameras though, you put everyone else's child at risk and that was a shitty thing to do.

I understand what happened, I really do.  New parents are PSYCHOTIC.  We all go through it.  It's just what we do.  Even the most normal and down to Earth people lose their shit a bit when they have a baby.  I don't know why we have such high expectations from our stars.  You guys are so out of touch with reality to start with and then you add first time parents to it and you guys go crazy.  I mean, seriously, a $500,000 minivan??  WTF?  Who is going to drive this?  Will you need a shower while you're making a run to Babies 'R' Us?

Either way, it's over now.  Now it's damage control time.  It's time to admit you were wrong and put out an apology.  Jay-Z - own it.  Once you sell the photos of Blue, a nice sizable donation (i.e, the whole check) to March of Dimes would be great.  Or better yet, pay the bills for the parents in the NICU that you disrupted - who are probably still there today wondering when their child will be able to go home.

PS - This story could all be rumor and conjecture.  I have no idea what to believe anymore.  I see articles and stories and then they're retracted.  If none of this is true (as the hospital is saying), then set the record straight.  I truly hope it's not true.

UPDATE: Since I wrote this post an investigation has been done and the complaints against Beyonce and Jay-Z and the hospital have been dismissed

SECOND UPDATE:  I received an email from the mother who was denied access to her twins in the NICU.  She thanked me for bringing attention this matter.  Her babies were still in the NICU when I heard from her, but she was going to be bringing them home that day.  She assured me that her story is the truth and that she will be taking further action about the matter.  She didn't want to do anything until her babies were home and healthy.  She promised to keep me posted.



417 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Hahaha.. You all just mad cause they got more money than you lol

beamer0821 said...

i don't hold this against egotistical self centered jerks, well because that's what they are. however i do hold the hospital at a higher regard to have common sense to not allow such a ridiculous request. i still find this incredibly hard to believe that the hospital allowed this, its thats unbelievable to me.

i dont blame Jay-Z nor Beyonce, they're used to being treated above all others so why would they expect different in the hospital. its the hospital's job to bring them back down to earth...

Athea Core Photography said...

Of course charges were dismissed. They can afford a 2200 square foot nursery and a $500,000 minivan. Im sure there was a "donation" to someone somewhere that made those charges magically disappear. What selfish assholes! My 1st son was a NICU baby, only my hospital didnt have a NICU and he was taken 35 miles away while I was made to stay at the original hospital. I didnt see him for almost 2 days. When I did make it to that hospital to see him, if I had been told that I couldnt see him because of some BULLSHIT like this, my ass probably would have wound up in jail.

satinnf said...

I too being having been through the best of both worlds (NICU and natural child birth). When it comes to children, parents are their prime protector. So I understand security measures when it comes to celebrities. However, these celebrities need to understand that first and foremost they are people as we all are. Secondly, they have given birth to children as we have. Due to fans dispensing earning buying their CD's, DVD's, concert tickets, and other forms of income for them, they already have a sense of superiority! Celebrities loose site of what is real. They seem to have double standards. They want privacy during intimate moments, but don't want to be forgotten. FYI, when you sign your name on the dotted line you sell your soul! Privacy no longer exists.

When Papparazi come into play, unfortunately it is safe to say they are doing their jobs, such as when a singer/rap artist go on tour, collaborate a new album etc., at the end of the days they are doing what they get paid to do

Pictures being taken is one of the many petpives that come along with the spotlight, but of course these celebrities are well aware of these little hicups, that is why they chose these great professions, to be forever more talked about and remembered.

To the staff of Lenox Hill Hospital, deem the money a donation in lew of services is the same as paying for services that are rendered when it comes to an entire floor being taken over. The fact that her activties were not contained to her specific room deem shall we say are against the laws of corporate compliance!

Welcome to the world Baby Blue! Best of wishes!

cpr040304 said...

I'm a NICU mom. My youngest daughter who is now 3 yrs old was born a month early. She spend 10 days in the NICU...the most painful 10 days of our lives. The pain never goes away...only NICU parents understand that unbearable pain. We were blessed to bring our baby home after ten days but there were many babies that were not so lucky. Your open letterr made me cry...I hope they do more than just apologize.

Rozzie said...

Hi. I want to thank you for this incredibly on point and sensitive post. I am the mommy of the preemies in question at Lenox Hill. My husband and I WERE in fact kept from seeing our children amongst various other horrible instances that you so accurately accounted above. It was an absolute nightmare. One of our twins is still in the NICU, and we haven't gotten one apology from the Beyonce/Jay Z camp. The complaints that were "dropped" were not ours and we are still fighting this fight. And we need more folks like you to continue to stand up for what is right. Thanks and see you out in the trenches.

Nash-Coulon mom

Anonymous said...

OK I JUST SPENT THE 26-28TH AT THE HOSPITAL WITH MY BABY GIRL(SHE WAS 10 MONTHS THEN 11 MONTHS NOW) OF DECEMBER BECAUSE SHE DUE TO A NEGLECTFUL DR. GOT PNEMONIA... I WAS WITH MY DAUGHTER EVERY SECOND I TOLD THE HOSPITAL STAFF IF YOU TIHNK I'M LEAVING HER FOR A SEC YOUR ON CRACK THEY SAID OF OCURSE WE UNDERSTAND.. NOW WITH THAT SAID I DONT GIVE A FLYING F WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU DO FOR A LIVING.. I LIVE IN NY LET ME TELL YOU IF SHE HAD HAD HER CHILD WHEN MY DAUGHTER WAS SICK AND EVEN ATTEMPTED TO KEEP ME AWAY FROM HER I'D BE IN JAIL.. THESE "CELEBRITIES" SOULD NOT GE THIS KIND OF TRETMENT BECAUSE THEY MAKE MORE MONEY.. AND THE STOLEN BABY THING GUESS WHAT PEVERYONES BABIES HAVE TOO WEAR THE MONITORS SO THEY WONT GET STOLEN..WHAT YOU DO FOR A LVING IS YOUR BUSINESS BUT THIS WHOLE THING MAKES ME ILL.. I AM SO SO SORRY DEEP IN MY HEART FOR THESE PARENTS WHO WERE DENIED ACCESS TO THEIR BABIES ITS SICK AND IHOPE IF THIS IS TRUE THEY FILE CHARGES AGAINST THE HOSPITAL.. BY LAW JAYZ AND BEYONCE CANT SHUT A FLLOR ITS THE HOSPITAL NOT TO SAY THAT THERE NOT DISGUSTING FOR EVEN ASKING FOR IT IN THE FIRST PLACE AGAIN THIS MAKES ME SICK AND THERE LUCKY IT WASNTTHE DAYS OR HOSPITAL MY BABY WAS AT BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE RAISED HELL

mama bear too the fullest aka Melissa Stephens

Anonymous said...

omg and god forbid a million times, someones baby had aproblem or even worse god forbid amilklion times passed away!! this makes me angry i want to punch someone in the throat now o ogee the complaints dropped can e say payoff repeat after me public relations paaayoff.. this is gross

melhhj1 said...

I'm the parent of 2 robust girls, so I don't know the experience of those who had to spend time with children in the NICU. But I do know what it's like to feel, with every cell of your body, the need to be with your child. I can't imagine being told that I couldn't. This is a shame.

Jen said...

My daughter was born at 32 weeks, spent 26 days in the hospital before going home. I pumped my breast milk every 2 and a half hours to take to her twice a day. Her doctor believes that my act of sacrifice is what kept her healthy and thriving. If I had been barred from spending my nine hours a day with her, she may not have been the healthy 8 year old she is today.
But what did any one expect? Celebrities mentally live on another planet. Until they prove me wrong, I will always believe this.

Anonymous said...

I'll admit, when a co-worker told me about the story, I was in shock but then in today's entertainment crazed world, there is no more being shocked anymore. Celebrities are a business and hospitals just like every other business or organization will take full advantage of the opportunity when big wads of money or waived in their faces. Sad but true. People allowed this to happen. The business of making celebrities seem untouchable and special. It's like what about the other parents!

Teronia Wilson said...

I was originally going to school to be a neonatologist. I know NICU parents know what that is. I have experienced what goes on in the NICU and even as an unrelated outsider it is hard. I have also been blessed with a perfectly healthy (aside from sickle cell trait, not the disease) baby girl. My whole thing is that Beyonce and Jay-z are still regular ass people. There are so many people in my church with better-than-beyonce voices they just choose not to pursue the career. They weren't born on another planet nor did they descend from heaven. It's not that serious, people have babies everyday. I'm sure hospitals don't allow paparazzi inside. If they were more discreet they wouldn't have had to worry as much.

Anonymous said...

It is sad that so many people have something to say on this matter when they have no idea if these rumors are even true.
Celebrities are slated time and time again for so many things, and the people slating have no idea what they are talking about. If these rumors are true, then it is horrendous, but if not, all the people commenting negative things about the couple, are a disgrace.

Anonymous said...

Too true. That was my immediate thought when I first heard this story. I don't have kids and it made me so angry.

Anonymous said...

What if you had been one the parents who was not allowed to see your child? I think you would have a different opinion

Amanda said...

Any more follow up? I'm an NICU mum too... Hate this story.

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