Top 7 Complaints of a Stay at Home Dad



Father's Day is coming and the Hubs wanted to guest post. It's been a while since he last guest posted because you never know what he's going to say. He likes to tell the world my lady garden needs tending or that the only way he can get our kids to behave is through bribes. I decided to throw caution to the wind and let him do it again, but only because I love him so damn much. Especially when he agrees to babysit our kids.

I am very lucky to be a stay at home Dad and I'm really happy to be able spend so much time with my kids and help take care of them. As much as I enjoy my time with the kids though, it's not all terrific. So, with Father's Day coming, I felt like there are a few things I need to complain about. We all know, I really have only one day that I can complain. This is my one chance and I'm taking it. I have to do it now, because NO ONE - including my wife who is a stay at home MOM - will ever feel sorry for me. Moms will always have the trump card, because they "gave birth." OK, I get it, I will never be able to "give birth," but I will take my one day and air my grievances.



1.  Don't question my technology choices for the family. In my house, I make all of the technology choices. From which cellphone carrier to use, to which wi-fi printer to buy, to which big screen TV we should get. It's all me on the computer doing all that research, finding that perfect technology that completes out lives. I'm sorry that TV is too big, but size does matter.

2.  Don't question my choice of car. I know it's kind of a stereotype that guys like cars, but you know what? Guys do like cars. Especially me. I read about them, dream about them, research them, and I spend as much - if not more - time looking at cars as women do shoes. Do we ever question your shoe choices??

3.  Don't tell me I'm cheap. Yes, I want to save money. Yes, I want to turn off the lights in the daytime. Yes, I pee in the shower - that one is good for the environment and the pocketbook.

4.  Don't tell me I NEVER do anything around the house. I cook and clean and some times I even give baths to my kids. I don't give baths very often, because we all know, Dad's are not good at giving baths. Kids are slippery suckers and I would HATE to be blamed for dropping one - not that it has ever happened.

5.  Don't ask me if I am babysitting. This one always gets me mad. If anyone sees me out in public alone with my kids, they want to know what happened to my wife - is she in the hospital or something? - and how I got stuck "babysitting" my kids. Guess what? I'm not a babysitter. I'm their dad. Just like my wife, I'm responsible to take care of my kids too. I take care of my kids alone on a normal basis, so my wife can have some "girl" time out with her friends. NO, I'm not a saint and I don't want a parade or a medal, just stop calling me the "babysitter."

6.  Don't question my request for some "alone" time. If I am really doing #5, I think I deserve some alone time. But who are we kidding, I don't want any alone time because I love my family so much and I would NEVER want to be left alone. (Sarcasm font.)

7.  This one is a little controversial and it is directed at my wife. Don't deny my requests to "get with me" or as my wife likes to say "make sweet, sweet love." Now, hold on before all the brooms and pitchforks come out - I love my wife. Is it so wrong that I want to be "with" my wife? I know that she may be tired, and grumpy and in desperate need of some hedge trimming, but I DON'T CARE. I still want to be with her. No matter what. Come on, it's only 1 hour out of your day, honey ... OK, who are we kidding? It's more like 5-15 minutes out of the day. That's even better!

I hope this Father's Day, we really celebrate all of the dads out there. Yes, we didn't "give birth,"to our children, but we are an important part of the family and we do love and care for them. Be sure to thank the dads you know for all that they do, but just remember one thing, NEVER thank him for "babysitting."

For a special TREAT, you can buy "I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE."  It is filled with hilarious stories about HUSBANDS. I'm in this book!

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17 comments:

Unknown said...

#5 is the worst. It gets me more riled than anything else as a father. These are the people I want to punch in the throat. I did a similar post on the subject a while back. If you'd like to read it you can: http://themathmaster.wordpress.com/2013/09/24/fatherhood-or-something-like-it/

Savvagekitty said...

Agreed #5 is terrible. I normally hear the babysitting comment coming from the father's own mouth and my response is always the same "You are not babysitting, you are parenting your kids.".

Unknown said...

Im gonna give you men who dont babysit a BIG BROWNIE POINT!!! I hear it often from men.... cant do blah blah blah cuz I gotta babysit my kids.... Super punch in the throat followed by a no moron you dont babysit your children! Most of the time its coming from a part time dad.

mamabear said...

Number 7 isn't funny or ok. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be "with" your wife, but there is something wrong with feeling entitled to her body when she is not feeling it. Only in rape culture is it ok to insist that a woman should never say no to a man, a wife should not refuse her husband no matter how she feels. I don't care if you were joking or not, "hubs", for too many women our bodies are not considered to be our own by fault of getting married, or having kids, or just plain owning a vaginal and traversing into public spaces. I'm sorry if you feel sexually frustrated but life can be frustrating, and your wife deserves her autonomy and voice just as much as the woman refusing advances in a bar, on the street, in her workplace, in her own home.

mamabear said...

*vagina* (auto correct again not being correct)

Unknown said...

Is it rape culture if it's the other way around? Or is it acceptable to play the double standard card? I'm just saying, for myself, the best way to relax is to be with my husband, especially when I've been doing G rated stuff all day, I want a little NC 17 action going on...

Unknown said...

I think part of the issue is developing the intimacy and trust and joy in each other that sex is a release and fun for both. Yeah, my day can be frustrating and grumpy and my husband may want some sweet loving, but he's smart enough to make it into an experience where we're both gung ho. :) Sometimes even things as easy as start it with a co shower and see where it goes from there.

The Nolans said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Nolans said...

Chill. He's asking her, clearly NOT forcing her. This is not even remotely about rape.

It's a good suggestion too. I make it a policy to (almost) never say no to "sweet, sweet love." Even if I'm tired, I never regret it afterward. It also means that when I'm in the mood & he's not, I can play the, "you know I'd do it for you!" card.

Hubs is clearly an awesome father & husband. He's just making a suggestion, not threatening or anything. Plus, if you've ever read her blog, I seriously doubt Jen is one of the women who is cowed by her husband & culture to the point of not "considering her body her own."

My advice to Jen is to just do it! Nine times out of nine you'll enjoy it and be glad you did!

And my advice to mamabear is to recognize context before getting up on your high-horse. There are people who need to hear your message, but Hubs & Jen are not those people.

Middle-aged Diva (Carol) said...

Bless you for that "I'm not babysitting!". Just--bless you!
Carol
www.carolcassara.com

Unknown said...

Chilax on the rape culture yo. The woman's blog is people I want to punch in the throat. She's not a weak flower wilting at her mans feet. BTW a man who can write a rant=win.

Heather said...

I really don't get this mindset. If a person doesn't want to have sex, why in the world would you WANT them to do it anyways? I know that if my husband is not in the mood, the last thing I'd want is for him to force himself to do it anyways. It would make me feel like I was using him, and it would make me feel even more unwanted then him actually not wanting sex. I think no one should EVER feel like they have to have sex for someone else, which is exactly what this sort of mindset says.

Unknown said...

^^^ Chrissy wins the internet.

And Jen, I love that you call it "trimming the hedges" because I call it that too, so clearly we are soul-sisters. Or vagina-sisters or something? That sounds super-gross.

Hubs? You did good.

Tim Schwartz said...

Oh shut the hell up. Rape culture? He's messing around with his wife on HER blog you dimwitted idiot. If she was feeling abused or raped, do you think she would allow it on here? Go promote your bullshit overreacting feminism elsewhere.

mamabear said...

Wow, some people clearly don't understand what rape culture is. It's a social attitude that perpetuates misogyny and is subversive to both men and women! Neither do I believe that Jen is a "wilting flower". I'm just calling out the man on a problematic attitude, regardless of whether he was joking. Yeeesh. I am aware of this blog's content, and "the hubs" expressed the same sentiment in a previous guest post. The comments that Jen should "just do it" because it doesn't take much, it's a wife's duty, it shows you love him, were also a little appalling as a comment on our culture. Heather has it right. I don't doubt that Jen loves her hubs and lets him know it, and really, their sex life is none of our business. If my hubby were to air his sexual grievances in a public forum, I would be upset that he didn't just talk with me about it and keep it out of the blogosphere.

Unknown said...

Hell freaking yes on number five! As for the rape culture comment get a damn grip. I think any loyal reader on here completely understand the tongue and cheek approach the both of them have towards "doing the dirty", I don't think anybody reads this blog looking for "woman" empowerment. Really like everyone else suggested "chilax".

Unknown said...

Mamabear it sounds like your porridge is a little too cold.

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