The Hubs Goes Shoe Shopping



After 11 years of marriage you would think I would have learned by now that I must double check anything the Hubs buys online that he thinks is a super duper deal.

Don't get me wrong. A lot of the time, he's an amazing bargain hunter. He finds $90 sweaters for $12 and we can never eat out unless he has a buy one/get one free coupon or the restaurant has a dollar menu. HOWEVER. He has a hard time reading the small print. He focuses a lot on the "original" price vs. the "sale" price and the rest of the details go by the wayside.


Like when he bought speakers for our surround sound system. When they arrived, the Hubs was out of town. I opened the enormous boxes and was greeted by two four feet tall speakers.

"They're so big!" I complained to the Hubs on the phone.

"They're only supposed to be 48 inches," the Hubs said.

"Hubs, 48 inches is four feet!!!"

"Ohh. Riiight." Small print AND math are not his strong suits.

"Also. One is black and one is white."

"They are? Wait. Let me look at my receipt. Yeah, it says it down at the bottom really tiny that they were the only ones left and they were not the same color. Oops."

Cut to last week.

Both of my kids want high top sneakers. Apparently, the 80s are back and my kids are embracing the trends as much as their mother did. The Hubs found a super deal online for Puma high tops. He wanted to get them for their birthday. I really didn't care, because high tops don't hurt as much as a Lego when you step on them, so I was just glad we were moving into another stage. The Hubs showed the kids the shoes online (because he can't keep a surprise) and they were very excited.

For a week I've heard about these amazeball shoes. They're so cool. They're so rad. They were such an ah-may-zing deal. No one could score a deal like the one the Hubs did.

Yeah, yeah, Hubs, you're a tiny genius.

Then. Friday I checked our mail and we had the ittiest bittiest wittlest cutest box you've ever seen stuffed into our mailbox. The return address said Puma. "Hubs, did you guys buy extra shoe laces or something?" I asked, because that's all I could imagine would fit in that box.

"Oh crap," he said. "I think I made a mistake."

Yup. He sure did.

We opened the box and found Gomer's pair. They were sparkly and silver and purple and light blue and were size 4 - toddler. Gomer is eight.

No wonder they were such a good deal, Hubs! They're for a baby. Also, these are girl shoes.

"They didn't look so sparkly online!" both the Hubs and Gomer said. Uh huh. I think Gomer has been well-trained by his father.

Saturday came and once again we had a box from Puma in the mailbox. This one was a normal sized box. "Mine are right!" Adolpha exclaimed. It looked like she was right. Until I lifted up the box. It was so light I wasn't even sure toddler shoes were in there.

"New technology makes high tops very light now," the Hubs tried when I mentioned how light the box felt.

Uh huh. If you say so, Hubs.

Adolpha got a pair of totes adorb size 4 toddler high tops too. She is six.

We found one person in our house who can wear these shoes.


I don't care how good the deal was, no stuffed animal is going to wear nicer shoes than me!

Yeah, those are flowers swirled into the pattern too. Gomer would have looked precious in these.

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26 comments:

KCmomof2 said...

Hopefully you know someone who is pregnant and can give them a a baby gift?

Mama Kitty said...

I almost snorted a pretzel when I saw the puppy with the entirely too cute for words baby sneakers.

I'm the one who doesn't look at the fine print when shopping in our house. My husband always has to point things out to me so I don't get TOO excited.

badparentingmoments said...

They are totally too old for foot binding, which is too bad because those kicks are sweet.

Ger said...

They are darling! (Tiny, but darling!) If they are not returnable, you could probably get a good price reselling them.

Beth McHale said...

OMG, I just did the same thing 2 weeks ago with some green Converse that my daughter wanted! They were so stinkin' cute I almost kept them.

Krysta Hughes said...

You should do a giveaway with the shoes!

RachRiot said...

I think I saw a Groupon for toe removal.. I'll send it to the Hubs. We'll make those shoes fit yet!

Lanthie Ransom said...

Lol - sounds just like my husband!

Veronica said...

Oooh I love that idea!

Carrie Sparrow said...

Okay, I have to admit that I get confused with shoe sizes very easily. My 10 year old wears a 4 or a 5 and my 4 year old wears an 8 or a 9 in toddler sizes. I know this all the time EXCEPT when I'm ordering shoes online. TWICE I have ordered my 4 year old a toddler size 4 shoes and BOTH times I could not send them back. I'm glad its not just me :)

Toni said...

I'm pregnant with a girl! I'll take them!

Melissa @ A Wide Line said...

My Hubs did the same thing exact he bought boys size 8 instead of toddler size 8. And he's always trying to get the best deal instead of considering quality, which is why our baby video monitor is a P.O.S. and is about to chucked out the window! And when I send him to the store for Manwich mix, I mean Manwich, not store brand sloppy joe mix. Ugh. :)

Amy said...

Best comment EVER!!!

Lauren Peedin said...

Its okay, last week I bought something named "XXX Studio 71 24x48 canvas" thinking I was getting 71 of the item. Yep just one came, it obviously was the company name. So much for that killer deal I thought I was getting.

Unknown said...

My mom does the same thing.

Anonymous said...

My dad does this, too!! One time he bid on a car on ebay because he couldn't believe how cheap it was! He won the bid, and about a week later, he got a framed official photo of this car in the mail.

Im A Silly Mami said...

That was totally hi-sterical!

Kelley said...

That is hilarious! I know those weren't cheap, either! He has a point about technology, though. Doesn't he? No?

Amanda Dearest said...

Omg this is hilarious! Even funnier is how my first thought was to buy them from you. For my toddler. A boy. Who wears a 5.5-6.

Smh- me n your hub would have some interesting conversations if we ever got these great minds together.

Bren Lee said...

LOL This is great! Poor hubs though, seriously he is trying right? Just make sure he doesn't try to buy you any lingerie or feminine products. You never know what might show up then!

B

Kristi Phillips said...

My Husband did the same thing! He found the cutest uniform shirts on Amazon and because I had been nagging at him for waiting until the last minute to get the kids their uniform clothes and we only had 3 days before school started, I told him just to hurry and order without checking them over. He bought Medium's which he said covered the size 8's that me needed. Shirts came and it was obvious they weren't the right size. I looked at the receipt and they said Medium Little Boy, and Medium Little Girl. When I told him Little meant toddler, he said that was BS cause our kids are little. They are 6 and 7. Anyways, we had to go and buy them from Walmart that day. You would think he would have learned. He bought shoes the following week and surprise, he bought 1's in little kid again... Ugh!

La Vosgienne said...

I sniggered way more than reasonable reading this. :)

La Vosgienne said...

"Yeah, those are flowers swirled into the pattern too. Gomer would have looked precious in these."

Note to self: avoid drinking tea when reading this kind of comment. Or buy a waterproof computer. :)

cdhughes777 said...

I don't know, I think that stuffed pup looks mighty proud with that mishap. Good luck getting them off.

cdhughes777 said...

Hilarious - especially the 48 inches part

Alli said...

pwahahaha! I was laughing hysterically through the whole shoe thing while simultaneously feeling terrible for your husband and kids! :D:D:D

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