People I Want to Punch in the Throat: My Husband Loves Me TOO MUCH!

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My Husband Loves Me TOO MUCH!



Anyone else have a husband who drives her crazy? I don't know what the deal is today, but the Hubs is getting my very last fucking nerve. (Actually, I know the problem, this time I'm the one with PMS instead of him.)

The Hubs and I spend waaaay too much time together. (Which is just the way he likes it.) We live together (duh) and we work together at home. There is no office for me to escape to. There is no office for me to pack him off to. There is no one to go have lunch with or shoot the breeze with at the water cooler. There is just the Hubs. If I turn a corner in my house, there he is. If I go upstairs, he goes upstairs. If I go downstairs, he goes downstairs. He just looooovvves to be together. Truly. He can't even run an errand alone. He likes to have me along, because he "misses me too much." Ugh!

I know it probably sounds lovely and romantic and all that, but really it can be so annoying. There is a fine line between loving someone and holding them hostage. I think I have Stockholm Syndrome, because I'm being kept prisoner, but I love my prison guard.



Today is the last day of winter break and I woke up in a mood. At first I thought it was the kids driving me crazy. I thought maybe I was ready for them to go back to school. And then I realized. It wasn't the kids. It was the Hubs.

Just yap yapping about his accomplishments. Remember when I told you that he thinks he can do just about anything? He talks incessantly. Constantly. Non-stop. And it is always the same topic over and over and over again. It's like listening to Rain Main reminding me on a daily basis of all the things he kicks ass at. "I totally beat all of you at UNO today! Woohoo!" Way to go, Champ, you made an 8 year old cry when you handed his ass to him in a friendly game of cards.

And while I appreciate that he is supportive of me and my blog, do I really need a blow by blow of my current statistics? "Your book is ranked in the top 50 on iTunes. Oh wait, it just dropped to 52." or "You only have 100 people on the site right now. You must not have written anything that interesting today. Nope 99 now. That sucks. Oh wait, you're up to 103, but can you make it to 110?"

At that point, I was actually fantasizing about running away. The only thing that kept me there was my kids.

I needed a break. I begged him for a moment of peace and quiet and a chance to be alone for a little bit.

I tried to escape by taking a shower. I thought, Surely I can get some peace in the shower, right? Wrong. Because as I reveling in the plethora of hot water and the deafening sound of silence I felt someone's eyes on me. I turned and screamed, because there was a creeper standing right outside my shower door!!!

False alarm.  It was just the Hubs.

I drew him a picture in the shower:

Go away creeper!
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95 comments:

  1. omg, this just made me spit out my coffee.

    LOL

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  2. I hear ya sister! My husband is about to start "working from home". After a solid year of work related travel, we (me and kids) have gotten used to him being gone and found that when he's home.........he fucks up OUR Routine.Then after making all the cuts of a company reorganization, trying so hard to be thankful for being gainfully employed if I move a muscle, I hear, "Where are you going honey? What are you doing?" JESUS! Can I fart without clearing it with you? And by the way, I"m not as insecure as you are, I don't mind some space. ABSENCE makes the heart grow fonder and being together 24/7 creates the need for drugs to cope.

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  3. So when I wake up in a mood my husband senses it and likes to act like a 13 year old just to annoy the piss out of me. It works!!

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  4. I so understand. I love my husband, truly I do. But there are days where I would gladly pay his friends to take him out just so I can get some alone time!

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  5. I totally understand. I love my Hubs too, but sometimes you just need a break. Of about two weeks. On a warm beach. With a cabana boy named Carlos bringing you drinks with little umbrellas in them...sigh.

    Uh--What were we talking about?

    Oh yeah, you and your stalker-er-Hubs. Just breathe. And call me if you need someone to help you bury the body. :)

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  6. My favorite line - "There is a fine line between loving someone and holding them hostage." - so, so, so true!!

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    1. LOL this had me laughing soooo much too!!

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  7. He is sooooo lucky he is married to you, cause I would hurt him. If my husband is home longer than 4 days, I start being very busy elsewhere. Love the "I am steamed!' sign. Idea: maybe get one of those life-sized cardboard cut-out signs of yourself, the kind that you can stand up like a huge paper doll? And he could just move it around where ever he goes in the house...

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  8. Oh man, you just made me thankful that my hubby works outside the home, lol!!!

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  9. Once again you and I are really the same person! My hubs is like yours in that he ALWAYS wants to do everything together. I can't even take a shower to escape any of the people in my house because I have one of those fancy "master suites" which means there is no flipping door to the bathroom I can lock! I am ashamed to admit how much I LOVE when he works because he's a cop and works at night so I get to be alone in the peace and quiet of my house (until he comes home at midnight for lunch)

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  10. I thought I was the only one who had this problem. My husband worked from home for 12 years and it was fine, he had an office and I closed his doors, constantly to keep him away. Now when he's home on vacation the two weeks around Christmas he follows me everywhere! I can't go to the grocery store without assistance during these two weeks, though the other 50 weeks of the year I can somehow manage on my own!
    I feel you pain and will probably borrow your drawing one of these days!!!

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  11. We were all getting a little on each others nerves over the break also. Thankfully Jeff is returning to work this week slowly. He is never busy this time of year but he is also good at doing the Costco run, etc without me. I convinced him this morning that we DESPERATELY needed cat food and litter so that should buy me an hour after his 11am client and then he is picking the kids up at 3pm so I can enjoy 5 hours of peaceful bliss!

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  12. Haha! If my husband wasn't always on my heels I'd think you were talking about him. Thank GWAD he likes fishing....I tell him go away all the time.

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  13. Let me just say that I am so glad I am not the only who feels this way!!! My hubs just took 3 weeks of leave so he can spend some time with us over the holidays. He is active duty military, and while he was here last year and not deployed, it's not guaranteed he will be here next year. I appreciate it, I love that he cares and that he wants to be with us. 3 weeks of having him constantly up my ass is a little much though. I don't know how we would do if he were to start working from home. All of that being said, I can say this now, but as soon as he deploys, I miss him terribly, and all I want is for him to be home. Yes, we get our own routine, and we get so that we enjoy it as much as we can, and when he gets home, we're all excited. After a week though, it's time for him to go back to work! LOL
    This blog is hilarious, and I love reading it, and you really make my day so thank you!

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  14. I completely understand. And thank you for the laughs. And know that I commiserate with you.

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  15. I would lose my mind if my husband and I both worked from home and had to spend every waking moment together. I love him, but a little bit of him goes a long way. Don't know how you do it.

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  16. I do believe we were separated at birth. We think the same!! I love it! Go away creeper! I tell my hubs that all the time. Lol!!!!! He asked me last night if he should stay out of town all week for work or do I want him home every night because he has the opportunity to stay gone all week for work. I don't think I gave him the answer he wanted. Lol! Jen

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  17. That is f-ing hysterical! My husband is home now too. I homeschool my 13 yr old. There are just too many people in this house! He always complained that he didn't have time to hunt and fish. Now he has the time but doesn't go! I love the picture!

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  18. I've just figured it out - your husband is masquerading as my fiance! After 47 years of total independence - never married - it's like I can't pee without him asking "whatcha doin'?" AAHHHHHHHH! While I'm on the computer, "whatcha doin'?" Checking my smartphone, "whatcha doin'?" I wonder if when I begin to strangle him he'll ask "whatcha doin'?" He goes out of town one night a month and when he gets back asks, "Did you miss me?" Hell NO! I basked in peaceful aloneness...is what I want to say. But instead because I love him, I say, of course I did.

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  19. I totally feel you, Jen. My Current Legal Spouse works from home and is up in my face 24/7. He follows me around and wants my opinion on everything. I admit, I made him this way. He used to be aloof and independent 'til I broke his spirit when we were first engaged. Now I'm paying the price in my 40's because the man can't wipe his ass without my say so.

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  20. My household just got over bronchitis (me), pneumonia (hubs), croup (baby), and holiday homesickness/boredom (teenaged exchange student). I was ready to kill the next person who so much as looked at me after having been sick for 5 weeks. I can't wait for the teen to go home next month. He's a nice kid but I'm so sick of having to plan his every fucking waking moment b/c he has so few friends.

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  21. Holy crap, I can relate. I'm still really young and engaged, so not yet married. But he always loves to be together and doesn't like for me to run errands alone, and I am 100% certain I have not showered by myself since we started dating. Do you know how irritating that can be with two water hogs? It sucks like ass, let me tell you.

    One day he was just driving me batshit crazy. So, looking for some advice, I turn to my grandma who was married to my papa for a long time and cared for him as he passed away. I said "grandma, is this what its like to have a husband?"

    Bless her heart, she took me around the shoulders and laughed in my face. She said, "marriage is being with someone you want to murder, but not doing it because you'd miss them too much. That's the key, if you'd miss them, then you have a working marriage."

    Right on lol

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    1. I love your grandmother for this

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    2. wow, I loved this! I too love your grandma for this sweet advice :)) I've been married going on 13 years now whew. I'm going to write that down in a little paper and stick it in my bible lol. Let your grandma know we thank her and she touched many of us. :))

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    3. Oh, absolutely bless your Grandma!! I love my spouse but sometimes I don't like him very much.

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    4. That is some excellent advice. Been married 10 years and that is exactly how I feel!

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  22. Ack! Took months for me to adjust to my hubs no longer working on Fridays. Totally threw off my game. And now that we've found our groove (read, he is still alive), he suggests that I come in to his office a few mornings a week to help out?!? I suggested that if he wanted a divorce there were easier and less bloody ways to get one! LOL

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  23. There is a fine line between loving someone and smothering someone. He's crossing it. I say give what you're getting. Hang on his every word, stalk HIM and see how quickly he gets sick of it.

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  24. Hubbs and I work, sleep, and eat together as well... Someone needs to start a Daycare for Hubbies so we can get some peace!

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  25. I actually have tears coming down my face from laughing so much. Tell your hubs I'm emailing this post to a few friends, so your stats will go up ;) Maybe that'll get him off your back for 2 minutes. Just maybe.

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  26. I totally get this. My husband has no hobbies, so he's just like this. I sometimes shutter to think of mine when he retires. I'll go nuts.

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  27. Love your picture! Did he get the hint? My husband stays at home and we enjoy each other's company, but we both need some space every now and again.

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  28. Love your shower curtain artwork. You make me laugh everytime when I pull up your blog's. Can't wait to give my friend your book for his birthday.

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  29. Love your shower curtain artwork. You make me laugh everytime when I pull up your blog's. Can't wait to give my friend your book for his birthday.

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  30. Love your shower curtain artwork. You make me laugh everytime when I pull up your blog's. Can't wait to give my friend your book for his birthday.

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  31. Love your shower curtain artwork. You make me laugh everytime when I pull up your blog's. Can't wait to give my friend your book for his birthday.

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  32. Oh man, I hear you. My husband works from home and I'm a stay at home mom of a 2 1/2 year old and a 10 month old. When they nap, he still bugs me! Why don't I consolidate errands and save gas? Because we need to get OUT!

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  33. Oh I needed this today. Just knowing I am not the only one that wants to run screaming, it helps. Your picture was priceless. However reading this at work and trying to hold in the laughter and that making me snort probably drew more attention to me than just laughing in the first place.
    Maybe you can have Hubs go get the mail and deadbolt the doors quick.

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  34. I am dying. Thank you for this much needed laugh. Your "artwork" is priceless.

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  35. wait till the kids move out....and he retires....and there are only the two of you ......That's why g'kids were invented. So grandmothers can leave the house to babysit...preferrably OUT OF TOWN....FOR DAYS....ALONE. And my son is always so greatful that I will come...at the drop of a hat no less. Little does he know he's actually saving his fathers life.

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  36. This is so me! My husband is a cop so thankfully works out of the home A LOT. But when he takes vacation days to stay home and "get stuff done" I lose my mind. "Whatcha cooking? DO you always make it like that? Wanna clean out the garage? We should all (we have 4 kids under the age of 8) go to Lowes! Won't that be fun?" and on and on. Me and the kids have lazy perfected. He doesn't understand. GO BACK TO WORK!!

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  37. I'm sending this to my husband because you've written what I haven't had the balls to talk about: he needs to BACK OFF! I left the other day and he said he didn't like how the house felt without me in it; "it's lonely." I was at the grocery store, loser. Cripe.

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  38. OMG, this is just too funny. I am thankful my husband isn't a stalker. But Christmas break just kills me. On a typical day, my husband and the kid leave for work and day care about 7:40 a.m., right as I'm waking up. Then I go have my coffee, dink around on Facebook, write a blog post or whatever until I need to get ready for work at 10.
    On Christmas break, they don't leave. They just stay home -- in my space. My morning quiet time is no more -- and it makes me want to kill! I'm sooooo glad school and daycare have started back!

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  39. I used to have a cat like this. I used to call him Visa, because he was everywhere I wanted to be.

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  40. Y'all REALLY need to talk about this before you bludgeon him to death in his sleep!!

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  41. Wow. Wow! Wowwy, wow, WOW! Hubs... *step off. *Once in a while.

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  42. After two days of him being home, I can't wait for my husband to go back to work.

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  43. I love your shower art! Made me laugh!

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  44. My hubby travels for his job, so he is gone a lot. I feel it's the secret to a successful marriage.

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    1. I agree completely! Absence really DOES make the heart grow fonder. If mine didn't travel two weeks of every month I might just lose my mind.

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  45. OMG. You took the words right out of my mouth. Hubby and I work together and this is exactly how I feel. Drives me nuts. All I want is sme alone time occassionally or to go out and see other people. It is not that I don't love him dearly - I just need my space!

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  46. I need a shower door and I think I just woke the toddler up from his nap. We get like this in the winter time when the farm slows down. I beg Farmer Bob to please go cut down some trees or find a sheep in labor that needs some watching, just GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! Thanks for the laugh my friend.

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  47. I hear you SO CLEARLY. My own husband works at home and people are always like, 'Oh, that must be so nice to spend so much time together.' Um, no. Not really. Not unless you like having someone up your ass like a cheap Walmart thong every minute going 'What are you working on? How long have you been on the computer? Did you do any laundry?' For some reason I get tons of stuff done when he's away and jack squat done when he is home. Go figure.

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    1. Same here: I'm so productive when my husband goes to meetings or a trip. I get nothing done when he's working from home. Seems counterintuitive, but it's been nearly two years of him working in my office or the dining room table and the house is a disaster and my blog posts have dwindled. I'm gonna get this shit in order this month!

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  48. Your posts always make me laugh... And I can relate. When my guy asks for a "guys time", I secretly cheer and jump for joy.

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  49. Thank you so much for writing what the rest of us can not say out loud (at home, at least)!

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  50. Hi-freaking-larious. So one of my goals is to get my own biz going well enough so that my hubs can quit his job. This post is making me rethink that because I can so picture myself scrawling the same type of drawing in shower steam after a few days. Thanks for the belly laughs this evening though!

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  51. Ha! Love the shower art!

    I think Hubs needs a hobby. Or a job that occupies him a wee little bit more.

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  52. Holy Fuck bomb batman! My husband just returned to work yesterday after a two week break and when he called to see if I missed him I honestly had to tell him, "Ummm...not really. It has been quite nice. Plus, the house is so much cleaner without you here." I'm dreading retirement!

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  53. Oh my gosh! I've only been married 2.5 years, but my hubs absolutely does this! It was especially bad when we first got married. He just HAD to follow me everywhere cause he loves me so much! Always just a LITTLE too close. When we go run errands together and I'm the one looking for something, he's always so close, that when I turn around, I run into him. ALL. THE. TIME. And then he gets upset when I tell him to back up and not stand so close. Hey, I'm not telling you to go to the other end of the store. I just want some space that I can walk around in without running into anyone.

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  54. You're handling this waaaay better than I am right now - thanks for the inspiration, maybe I'll try "art therapy" next. ;)

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  55. my husband is a high school teacher and i am a stay at home mom (who is also a full time college student with two part time jobs...but i digress) winter break is usually about two weeks of pure hell for me. he is everywhere and wants to know what i am doing constantly. i feel like i cant breathe and its an awful reminder that summer is just around the corner and he will be home ALOT more. i love him....i love him to death...school breaks just make me contemplate the death part a little bit more :)

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    1. Oh you are so right. We just got done with the two weeks of hell otherwise known as Christmas Break. Break...something over your head??? I adore my husband but him being home for two weeks straight and questioning everything I do or "helping" me is making me homicidal. He thinks it's ok for him to rearrange the dishes in the dishwasher after I load it because it's "helping". Thank god this shit is over until Easter.

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    2. so glad i am not the only one who feels this way

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  56. 2013 resolution #2 success! Nothing says "I love you" like a steamy, suggestive obscenity!

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  57. I get what you're saying. I've been there in the past.
    But PLEASE count your blessings! My husband died in a motorcycle accident over four years ago... and I'd give just about anything to have him at home, bugging me.
    just sayin' :)

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  58. I can totally relate.

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  59. You know what I love? When the Hub is off from work and follows me around asking me questions about what I am doing and WHY I am doing what I am doing. I feel like I am being Quality Controlled and want to jump across the table like a spider monkey and gouge out his eyes. Too much? Sorry, it has been a long Christmas break!

    STILL love your blog.... It has been a while since I have commented but I gotta say, from Elf on the Shelf until now, I read your stuff weekly. And LOVE the book!

    Momma O

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  60. I'm in the same boat with hubby working from home. It's been 2 years now and I'm still not used to it. It's nice to know I'm not alone! But still drives me nucking futs!

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  61. just wait for retirement. when everything you do and every move you make is under observation and correction. your ability to function in the same world you successsfully created and managed for 20-30 years now has to be justified to the "new guy"

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  62. This post has made me feel glad about being single and living alone. I'm a weirdo in that I like to be alone. I don't know what I'll do if I ever start seeing someone, let alone get married. Wonder if we could live in separate houses? hmmm

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  63. LOL! Again, you've made me chuckle with my morning coffee. I always look forward to your blogs because it's no holds barred, say it like ya mean it. And you not afraid to cover the topics. Love that!

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  64. Hahaha! My fiance and I are both teachers and on winter break... It's getting to this point for sure!

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  65. Hahaha! I love this. I don't know what I would do with myself if my husband worked from home also. The thing with us is that we BOTH drive each other bat shit crazy.

    Sometimes it's my turn and I'll talk incessantly and follow him around the house and be all up in his kitchen while he's trying to cook. Then I'll notice that his eyes are glazed over and he hasn't said anything but "Uh huh" and suddenly the tables have flipped and the sound of him blowing his fucking nose makes me want to rampage. He even brushes up against me and I want to throw him through the window.

    I'm going to have to try your shower door way of dealing. So much easier to clean up than his stinking guts.

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  66. After 17 years of marriage my "hubs" aka DSH (Dear Sweet Husband, said sarcastically) retired from the military and being deployed all the time and started working from home. He now thinks we should also be attached at the hips and says things like, "I missed you while you were on your walk", which makes me throw up a little in my mouth. I totally feel your pain Jen, I love the shower art, I may just use that tomorrow!!

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  67. You're really making me appreciate my husband who spends all his time in his mancave and NONE of his time in my studio. I actually have to beg him to come look at what I'm doing. Thank God!

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  68. Honestly, I appreciate you writing this because I think it ALL. THE. TIME. The mister's boss "gave him" two extra days off over the holidays that I hadn't planned for. Yes planned for. I feel like I need to know when he's going to be underfoot because he seems to always need some kind of entertainment that I am somehow expected to provide, so I like to have enough clean dishes and laundry stocked up for those days because I will get nothing else done. Then he didn't go to work on Tuesday and I about lost my shit on him. GO! Let me be a productive human being for a day! Also I want to watch Ellen while splayed out on the couch without your stupid background commentary! But I love him. Really.

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  69. I am peeing my pants. Seriously. I blog, run a small business and my hubs is home all day every day. EVERY. FREAKING. DAY. He is unemployed and wants in on my small biz. Today I noticed no heat in lil me's room. ONCE again, I had to be the man and go change the air filter on the air handler. He was on his computer. I text him.. "You said there were more filters up here...there are none."
    No response
    Ten minutes later
    "We have plenty of those filters. They are up there."
    NO they are not. The ones UP THERE are too big"
    "Yes we do"
    "Get off your f'n iPhone and go look"
    "Well, I know they are somewhere."
    "Yeah, probably at Home Depot. No GO."
    Yes, it's in the air today....

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  70. hmm... curious what the Hubs had to say about this post.

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  71. Holy Crap, I think we are married to the same man! My husband can't run errands alone, either. Sometimes he follows me around like a toddler with separation anxiety.

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  72. Thankfully my creeper, I mean husband, doesn't follow me around. But I get incessant questions when I'm more than 2 feet away. What are you doing? Aren't you gonna watch this movie with me? Want me to rub your feet? Come snuggle. Argh! I need some space, too. Or a bottle of wine. I'm not picky.

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  73. Everyone needs alone time. Go to the library or something.

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  74. My husband works from home and I am a homemaker so I feel your pain! I just wish I had a shower door to doodle on, too. Haha!

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  75. I'm with you! My hubs actually goes to work, but when he comes home (and I've been home with the kids all day), he wants "family time" and I want to go to a dark bar and have a margarita in the corner. ALONE! Next week he starts a period of time where he'll be gone 3 nights a week for 6 weeks. I won't get to the dark bar, but I will be alone when the kids go to sleep. Ahhhhhhh.

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  76. If i could laugh without hacking up a lung, i would be. Totally relate. We have been married almost 14 years and he won't get the F off me. Last night, i thought i was going to be killed- burried under his sleeping mass...6.1 and 220 is no joke when it's dead weight. But if i so much as silently drop my towel, he's up asking if i need help putting lotion on my boobs. Because you know how we all put lotion on our boobs all the time. Love this!

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  77. I'm pretty sure I have "I want to kick my husband in the nads" syndrome. He all but called me a "bad nanny" to his kids this week. Pretty sure I can blame that somewhat on Christmas Break (his company shuts down for the last week of the year) but I'm also looking into how to give a beat down and not leave bruises.

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  78. Everyone complains about Monday morning, but it's my favorite day of the week. My husband and I love each other AND like each other, but we are both happy to part ways when the weekend is over. If he worked from home we'd need a bigger house. And I'd become a day drinker.
    -Amy

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  79. That a feeling you have got. I feel I I got like you.Five star alarm

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  80. I was infatuated with you at Christmas Elf. Then I have to admit, I moved on to other blog crushes, then to self satisfying myself with my own blog. This post made me fall back in Blog Love with you, the second I saw this thumbnail pic.WHY?? Well, because I too have drawn on steamy shower doors. I actually spelled out what your finger is saying. My hubs wanted to have a talk about the budget while I was shampooing. That deserves a big F U! (Or punch)
    Thanks for writing this post. It could not have come at a better time, as husband annoyance around the house is a big one for me. How can a 2 story house give you no where to hide?
    Great Post Jen!

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  81. My husband works out of the house, so there are "paperwork" days when he is home all day with me. I CANNOT GET ANYTHING DONE WITH HIM HOME. He seems to constantly need my attention/help/adoration/presence. It drives me nuts! Maybe I should draw him a picture. Did the picture you drew help? ;o)

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  82. I hear you! Right now I'm TRYING to study but he's a few feet away playing loud stupid youtube vids, but if I go into the next room with my paperwork he follows me there and invents something to do, til I go back to the home office, then he carries on playing music and videos - once when I was on a long complicated project I moved my little desk to the next room and I never heard the end of it. It was "don't you want to BE with me any more" GEESH, the only time I can be off duty is when he goes to the shop for ten minutes.

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  83. I'm hiding in our guest room so I can have some alone time. I sat down and googled "my retired husband won't stop following me" and this post popped up. I used to post to my blog once or twice a week. After a few months of retirement my Muse ran off. Now I stare into space while hubby watches Hitler invade Poland over and over and over. Thanks for making me laugh.

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  84. You ladies should be thankful that you have your husbands around. Be thankful that you have someone around to help you with things & to have your childs father around. I have neither for the next 14.5 months since he is out of the country working for a total of 16 months & will only have 1 week to come home since its Government contract work. I would give anything to have my husband put his arms around me, lay down beside me at night, take over the tv remote, have him there to help our 6 yr old daughter with her school work, to have him here to see her gymnastics competitions, watch cheer at basket ball games or just be there to follow me around. To me it sounds like you are a bunch of ungrateful people who do not know just how good you have it.

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