People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Anyone Who Throws an Ultrasound Party

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Anyone Who Throws an Ultrasound Party


Oh thank God there is a new trend in parties we can throw for pregnant women!

I was really starting to worry about party planners. I was beginning to think they were hurting for business. I mean how were they earning their keep once kids didn't need elaborate first birthday parties or potty parties anymore?

I was also so concerned for those pregnant moms out there who were feeling like they weren't getting quite enough attention. Let's see, they peed on a stick and posted the results on Youtube, had a gender reveal party where they released doves that had been dyed pink or blue into the sky and a boring old baby shower (everyone and their grandmother had a baby shower!). These pregnant moms were suffering from lack of adoration and needed a little pick me up.


Lucky for pregnant moms the party planners have been working over time on a new idea. There is a new party in town.

The Ultrasound Party! That's right, girls! Just pay your local ultrasound technician a cool $350 to come to your house and show everyone your unborn heir on the big screen. Pour some drinks for your closest friends, family and random cousins and gel up that belly so that everyone can say, "Is that a foot?" and "Wait, what am I looking at exactly?"


Before I get invited to one of these shin digs I just have some questions for the hostess that I need to get out the way:

What does the cake look like? I hope not a fetus. I won't be able to eat that and I love cake.

What am I supposed to do with my keepsake photo of your unborn child? I can barely keep track of the ultrasound pics of my own kids.

Really? You framed the keepsake photo of your unborn child? For everyone?

Do I need to bring a gift? And if so, what? Wasn't the shower gift I gave you enough? And the gender reveal party gift? Remember, I had to bring a girl gift and a boy gift because we didn't know what the baby was either until you released the doves?

Oh, one more thing. I was supposed to get my IUD checked by ultrasound a few months ago and I didn't it done. Could I just pay your tech under the table and have her check me real quick?

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74 comments:

Bluaqua said...

Hilarious! I refuse to attend an Ultrasound Party if ever I am invited to one. That is just too much. I also think Gender Reveal Parties are over the top. Just keep it simple people!

Tinsley Times said...

Ha! Thanks for my daily laugh!

Lori Russell said...

WOW, just wow!

Michelle said...

LOL we were discussing this topic this morning, actually and how out of control it is getting. What happened to dropping off some diapers and a onesie and getting the hell out of there??

Sue Diamond-Phillips said...

I love it! I also wonder what happened to etiquette myself (which is just sad) with all these crazy pregs throwing themselves showers left and right. Aren't you supposed to have one thrown for you? And i'm personally thinking a 2 shower per woman max, because there are - at this point - only 2 genders available. It gets on mah-dayum nerves. Buy your own crap, just like the rest of the world.

Janine Huldie said...

The whole thing just made me spit my water out, but then again I should know better than o do that when reading your blog, lol!! Seriously, though who does this, I want to know so I can point and laugh!!!

Red said...

I actually read about this last week and hoped you'd write about it. And really, it's ok to punch a pregnant broad in the throat if she invites you to one of these...after all she's not pregnant in her throat, and if you're lucky it may knock some sense into her. I love my friends, but I dont need to see the inside of their uterus in person. Ever.

Noodles said...

I know people who would do this..... /:P

L Carilo said...

Good stuff, baby!

Diary of an Angry Pregnant Lady said...

LOL! This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard of!

rsrusso said...

Kimye is going to be all over this one.

Laura E said...

I think it's creepy to post pictures of the ultrasound on Facebook...I mean, think about it - you're posting a picture of your INSIDES. Now these crazy bitches are having parties to show the inside of their uterus? Why not have a colonoscopy party? Or an upper GI party? Barium for everyone!

Jenn, Pint-sized Pioneering said...

Is the new game "Guess How Dilated"?

spymay said...

That is insane.
What happens if something is wrong with the baby?Talk about a freak out.
I guess the same could be said if the mom found out she was carrying multiples,although "Count the Litter"would be a good party game,lol.

Stephanie said...

You know as outrageous (and outrageously funny) as these parties might be - it's a really stupid thing to do. Imagine how horrific it might be to be AT or hosting one of these parties and there is something wrong with the baby or your baby is dead. I lost my first baby at 18 weeks and it was discovered during a routine ultrasound that I was SUPER excited for because I was hoping to possibly learn the gender - I can't imagine how horrific it would be for those witnessing as well as for the mom who presumably is not near her OB. Just stupid. Not every ultrasound turns out to have a happy result - which is why they are done in private and with medical supervision. Stupid. These women get a big FAIL from me. I hope none of them learn the hard way what a terrible idea this could be. I am glad that I got to learn my horrible news in private with professionals present and not surrounded by well meaning friends and family who are wondering what to do with their cosmo now that shit just got real. . .

lisacng @ expandng.com said...

I do not want to attend an ultrasound party nor have one myself. Ew.

spymay said...

I heard those colonoscopy parties are real shitty and have at least one asshole at them.

Laura E said...

HA! It's a pain in the ass to plan too.

Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 said...

And there's your comment of the week, Jen.

Funny Is Family said...

I was thinking how horrifying it would be to be invited to one of these stupid-ass parties...until the last line. I need my IUD checked, too, and I like the idea of having it done while enjoying party snacks.
-Amy

Tina said...

Stephanie makes the best point ever. What happens if--God forbid--there's no heartbeat? This idea is so stupid for so many reasons.

butterflytatus said...

I just had a hysterectomy, where is my party? I can only imagine the decorations for tnat theme! I have no children, and I consider this my contribution to bringing the world one less OAM (I would have named the kids Luther and Agatha; old family names that would guarantee regular torment). I want a party for saving the world from this scenario!

Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 said...

Can we all make a promise to each other, right now? If we get invited to one of these things, we'll send our regrets, along with a note that says, "In lieu of a gift, a donation has been made to the March of Dimes/local children's hospital in your child's honor."

Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 said...

And there's your comment of the week, Jen.

Mom on a Line said...

I couldn't agree more with Stephanie. I had to be told about serious, life-threatening problems with my baby at my ultrasound. It was hard enough trying to hold myself together in front of the doctors and nurses, let alone all my friends and family. Not to mention what is lost if the procedure is not taken seriously and the ultrasound tech cannot properly concentrate. The baby's heart is the size of a nickle at 20 weeks, yet heart defects are the most common birth defect. How can those be seen if the tech is too busy entertaining the masses!?! Way to show you're ready to be a parent--put the baby's health and well-being below partytime.

Kelly and Sne said...

Maybe they can use those probes ultrasound thingys and call it a "sex toy" party too!

stellamaia said...

Since I don't plan on having kids, I'm feeling kind of shafted over here with these party ideas. Can I have an MRI party every time they scan my brain? We can all eat brain-shaped jello. I'll have to remember this when I have my first colonoscopy too. I'll be serving laxative-laced brownies and we can all have a race to the toilet. Loser is on clean-up duty. So many possible party games!

Teri Biebel said...

Their gender reveal, you're checkup. It's a win-win.

Jessica Watson said...

I really think you need to have an IUD ultrasound party. When's your birthday? I'll start working on the invitations.

Armand Sellers said...

I didn't even know this happens but once again thank you for my daily laugh!

Amy said...

Wow, that's ridiculous. I agree about the max limit for showers, and I think "gender parties" are really obnoxious. I have twins. My parents and my in-laws each wanted to throw me a shower, and since they live in separate states and there was no overlap on the guest-list, that worked out fine. Except that I never made it either. For the first one, at my parents who live out of state, I was stuck home on bedrest for threatened PTL. I watched it on Skype. My mom and sister opened my gifts and held them up to the camera.

The 2nd was scheduled for a few weeks later, and was local, except I was then on hospital bedrest for PTL. Actually, the 2nd one was rescheduled for a couple months later and I brought the babies with me. Initially felt a little guilty for having two showers, but seeing how it turned out, I guess I didn't have to.

Btw, my parents/in-laws were never invited to the ultrasounds. I had a lot (high risk pregnancy) but it was always just me and my husband. Ok, I'm done with my long boring story.

me said...

Why stop with an Ultrasound party? Let's all get together and watch the video of little Jessikah being born. We can all have epidurals and have a cake that looks like a 10 cm dilated vagina. Then when Jessikah turns 16, we can all tell her how we were all there for the ultrasound party and birth party and shower and gender reveal party (or is that part of the ultrasound party now - I'm getting confused). I'm sure she will LOVE all that attention from near strangers. Plus, there is only one more step of pregnancy left for the couple's private world - and I DEFINITELY don't want to go to the conception party!!
Geez, when I had my 3 kids, the gender reveal happened AT the birth. Ultrasounds were NOT something for public viewing and I had ONE shower for the first child. Who needs that may gifts? This is where hoarders are born.

Bonnie Gribayedoff said...

I think you should have an IUD Ultrasound party. People can bring gifts to that right? And the best part would be that YOU could drink at that party (unlike those unlucky mothers at the baby ultrasound parties). Besides, if it's an internal ultrasound you're going to need the fluid and the alcohol to get you in the mood. I think you've just discovered a new trend.

(Just) Trying is for Little Girls said...

My daughter's friend had a "period party". I couldn't believe it. Gross.

Adrienne Gilbreath said...

Considering I didn't let anyone throw me even an old-fashioned baby shower, you can imagine how I feel about gender reveal parties and now ultrasound parties. It has just gotten out of hand.

Desiree Payne said...

Yeah I saw this on the circle of Mom's email that was sent to me today. I was thinking the same damn thing...Like really?!? who wants to go to this? Awesome, I do....Yeah, NO.

Tandi said...

That last sentence owns me!

Mosaicwench said...

I had a high risk pregnancy and had 6 ultrasounds. FIVE of them told me my son was a girl. Was I supposed to have SIX parties?

Peyton Price said...

Ultrasound party!
All the guests drink a liter
and nobody pees.

Amy Harrison said...

Well, this takes the cake. Now I have a valid excuse to ask for MORE BABY GIFTS! At this rate, by the time I actually get pregnant, there will be even more gifts, and I may not even have to buy anything!
And yes, I agree with everything said above. Not going to happen for me.

Stacey said...

What's next, conception parties? "You are cordially invited to the (possible)conception of our future child, every Wednesday night at 10 pm. Please RVSP ASAP, as space in our bedroom is limited"

amy rae said...

haha Wow! These clever gals coming up with new ways to get more gifts. Ridonculous I say. I like the comment above me (Stacey) about a conception party. I'm sure that's next on the agenda.

Nicole from Mudpies and Sunshine said...

Thank goodness gender reveal parties haven't made it big in Australia. Let alone ultrasound parties. I didn't have a baby shower for my kids or a hen's night before I got married. I deserve an award for not putting people through potential hours of hell.

spymay said...

I just flashed to an image in my head of people sitting on bleachers by the bed, wearing foam middle fingers, and yelling "Go Go Go Go!!"

PediNP said...

What if the ultrasound tech sees something BAD on the ultrasound? Meanwhile all the family and friends are gathered 'round...I think this puts the sonographer at risk--maybe there could be legal ramifications...This has to be one of the stupidest things I've heard of in our increasingly consumer driven health care world! Ugh!

PediNP said...

LOLOLOLOL!

Confessions of a PTO Mom said...

At least they are celebrating. There's always a reason to celebrate. Right?

kelly Laher said...

Really ridiculous! It is on good morning America! Yuck.....

HouseTalkN Rossow said...

Make.it.stop.
Please tell me that no one really has these parties?
I'm going to invite everyone to my pap party!

Wendy Wainwright said...

That was totally my first thought! And it's.....missing half his brain....and then just an awful awful silence and people start sneaking out the door.

Wendy Wainwright said...

And you can drink at that party.

Ki said...

So I guess this means you won't be wanting an invite to my menopause party then huh? I rented Polterguist, and put the hubs in charge of randomly flipping the thermostat from freezing cold to blazing hot. Oh well, probably for the best, every time I sit down to write out the invitations I burst into tears....

Chanda said...

As party favors they can give out these...
http://www.lilsugar.com/Unusual-Ultrasound-Gifts-Ideas-5454890

Meg said...

What's next? Conception parties? Hell, in Arizona, you could throw that party the first day of your period!! That's when pregnancy really begins in that state!!! Ridiculousness never ceases!!

Amanda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amanda said...

I can't fathom having a tech come in with all the horrid possibilities that can arise in an U/S. Even if you already had your routine u/s, and everything seemed healthy, things can quickly go wrong. My friend's baby died the same week as her routine u/s, and everything looked fine. She found out the next week at her paid for 4D u/s so that they would have a video. That would be the worst party ever.

I did the 4D video, and interested family members who requested to see the video were permitted to watch, but I didn't go stick it on you-tube. If you must be as self indulgent as these women are, I would suggest sharing your video at your tacky party rather than having a live ultrasound.

Ellen Pittluck said...

OK, I am seriously creeped out now - cake toppers????

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Marnie said...

I read about this and honestly knew you'd write about it -- it's perfect and ridonkulous fodder! I'd like to punch these people in the throat, too...after the baby's born, of course. LOL re: getting your IUD checked!

Nicole Shaw said...

I weep for humanity.

Hannah Bro said...

What's next? A conception party? Yay, you had sex AND made a baby. Aren't you special.

Massey-isms said...

WTH??? Is this for real? This is what Pinterest has done to us!

Allison said...

This isn't my blog, but it goes along well with this post. If you ever need a HUGE laugh, check out
http://www.stfuparentsblog.com

Crazy OAM's at their finest.

Annie Stow said...

I'd throw a POAS party, but I blew all my money on sticks. No more money left for parties. Party ideas would include line dancing, doing lines, lots of Fun Dip sticks?

Karla said...

I just posted a comment on Facebook about gender reveal parties yesterday. Most people were in agreement with me that they are assinine, another way to get attention and a gift, however, I had one distant friend who was highly offended because she knew her family and friends really wanted to know the gender. Uhhh...really? AND, of course, they didn't tell the name. Who the heck cares!

Ashley Fuchs said...

WHAT?????????????????? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???????????????????????????????????? This is a MEDICAL PROCEDURE, PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have people LOST THEIR MINDS?????????????????????

Mallory Smith said...

Not that I don't think these parties are completely ridiculous but I don't think any doctor would approve an out of office ultrasound as the actual anatomy ultrasound. So I'm sure these women are having their regular ultrasound at 18-20 weeks to check the health of the baby in the drs office and then doing this after.

Mary Ellen Bowman said...

I could not agree more!!! this is the most ridiculous the world has been ever. Forget all the horrific politics and world hunger and conflict...an ultrasound party? is NOTHING private and sacred? What about the baby? Do you really think that baby wants to grow up and have had absolutely no privacy for his or her entire life? my god, the questions are endless and so is the stupidity..i could go on and on and on...

Jennifer Ammoscato said...

I'm thinking of holding one the next time I need a colonoscopy. Because, really, if anyone should get a present, it's for that.

Kristi Phillips said...

Maybe I'm just weird but I chose to save that moment and the births for just my Husband and I. I feel like making a huge spectacular event out of something like that kind of cheapens it.

Kristi Phillips said...

Rent out a nice event room, set up a huge bed decorated with tulle and rose petals, and set up some chairs. Maybe get a nice restaurant to cater it. Then just go to town! :)

The sad thing is, I'm pretty sure this will happen very soon.

Savvagekitty said...

That's a lot of fun until oh no oops sorry lady but your baby doesn't have a heart beat. Fetal demise a real party killer.

Janet Heystek said...

Love it! I will so do that....not.

AlisonK said...

Totally agree these parties are not a good idea.. Just do what I did when the gender of
my three babies was revealed call up your family and friends and let them know..
Your blogs always make me smile, Thanks!! Loved your new book also :)