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Over Achieving Moms and Their Kids' Birthday Parties

It seems like we will never run out of areas for over achieving moms to dominate.  Birthday parties have been a recurring theme that keeps popping up from my readers.  Every week I get emails begging me to take on the over achieving birthday party moms.  All of these emails contain links that send me to over the top birthday parties - each one more outrageous than the next.  Since I've recently been called a "troll" for sending coveted page views to public blogs such as these, I will refrain from posting links to the parties (their loss).  I can say, these are all real parties and I bet with a little sleuthing you will be able to find them.

One was a whimsical Cat in the Hat first birthday where the baby has no clue who Dr. Seuss is or why it's hysterical and adorable all at the same time that he's eating green eggs and ham in a house covered (literally COVERED) in red and turquoise bunting and crepe and balloons and other Dr. Seuss-themed shit.  I think there were at least 5 different kinds of cupcakes to choose from besides the striped hat cake.  No matter how much the parents paid for a professional photographer to take pictures of this birthday, beautiful pictures can never cover the fact that the cake was melting because of the heat and they dressed the poor kid in some kind of linen one piece jumper thing with his initials embroidered on the front that will haunt him into adulthood.

Have you ever seen a party with a Marie Antoinette theme?  It's out there.  The baby was forced to wear a hat on her head that will remind many of you of those plates with bows that aunts make for us at our wedding showers.  Remember those things?  Yeah, the baby is wearing something like that.  On her head.  For real.  Not as a joke.  And a dress that looks like silk - or something equally pricey.  I don't know what horrifies me more - the fact that the mother planned her daughter's party around a queen who had her head chopped off or the fact that this mother let her daughter eat cake in a dress that probably has to be dry cleaned.  I have no idea what this party cost, but when you start buying wrapping paper that matches the theme perfectly, you've spent too much.  This party made my wedding look downright shabby.

I think the one that irritated me most though, was the hipster first birthday where the theme was centered around the baby's Eames Elephant Chair and all of the party supplies and food were "bought locally." Guests were encouraged to take Instamatic photos of themselves with mustaches (I hate those fucking mustaches) and bowler hats.  Absolutely asinine.  This party was not for a child.  This party was for a bunch of adults who didn't want to throw a gauche first birthday party.  The color scheme was charcoal, chartreuse, light blue and black.  (Who the fuck puts a black balloon on their baby's high chair for his first birthday party celebration??  These people do.)  The mom also bragged that she displayed monthly photos of the baby on a "Stendig Calendar."  Since this was capitalized I knew I was supposed to be impressed, but since I'm from Kansas and have absolutely no hipster in me at all, I didn't have a clue what the fuck she was talking about.  Apparently, it's the only calendar designed by MoMA.  Well, pardon me.  Good thing I wasn't invited to this party, I would have looked like an ass when I arrived with the party penciled in on my Lighthouses of the East Coast calendar.  (It's available at the finer Dollar Stores.)

Don't get me wrong, the idea of throwing my kid a party at Chuck E. Cheese gives me a brain bleed, but there has to be a happy medium in there somewhere.


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255 comments:

  1. Anonymous08:39

    Guilty as charged. From the time my child's party is over I begin to think of the next one and start planning as soon as an appropriate theme comes to light. It is my biggest event of the year, I LOVE IT and yes, it's partially for ME. lol It gets my creative juices a place to flow. I only have ONE child though. Couldn't imagine doing this for more than one. Also, last year we canceled her (9th) b'day party as punishment due to some behaviour issues and I'm sure it bothered me more than her but it did make a point that we will stick to what we say.

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    1. Anonymous10:14

      damn...that's hardcore! and not to mention scaring for life to have parties that are really for the parent especially for an only child. have fun making fun of that kid!

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    2. Anonymous15:22

      Good on you for sticking to what you said!! I think sometimes the more hardcore moms are the ones who don't follow through. Your kid might be alright after all :P

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    3. LOL actually, I guarantee you she will remember the missed party, and probably the reason for it, especially if you warned her in advance that she was risking the party. I still remember exactly why trick-or-treating was canceled one year, even though the infraction had happened the year before (eating candy before my parents had a chance to check it resulted in no trick-or-treating the next year). that was 30 years ago.

      Hardcore was my dad's middle name.

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    4. Anonymous09:25

      It did make an impression on her. Her Dad is the one who canceled her party (before the invitations went out) and I didn't argue that it was too harsh because it wasn't. We still had a celebration with the three of us. We had cake and took her out to eat and she got gifts. She just didn't have the BIG party she was used to having. She's an A/B student with friends and she's doing JUST FINE. When I say the parties are for as much for ME, I mean that because I enjoy doing it. Now that she's old enough, she gets to choose her own theme and I just build on it. I can assure you she's not scared in any way. Her friends look forward to her party every year and last year we just told them our schedule got too busy and we couldn't have the party so no shame to her.

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  2. Anonymous08:45

    So I guess my stepdaughter's party wouldn't measure up to these nuts. We took the kids (her 2 sisters and her) to Dairy Queen and had other customer's wish the birthday girl Happy Birthday! She was happy since we let her pick whatever she wanted from the menu ($3.50 brownie sundae).

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    1. Anonymous08:57

      That's awesome!! Love that party idea. :)

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  3. We have thrown one and only one birthday party. It was a nightmare but the kids loved it. ( http://www.momintwocultures.com/2011/12/birthday-party-part-1.html )My 4 year-old went to a princess pirate party last month that made our wedding look bad. What a disappointment! The gender-bending possibilities implied in the theme were lost completely...

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  4. Anonymous08:47

    Before I commented I had to go look for myself. I will say it is a matter of too much money and no sense. there are fucktards like this everywhere. The Marie Antoinette theme tops it, that dress cost more than my car lol.

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    1. Alena21:04

      I had to look it up too. I guess she's trying to cover up her "Redneck Roots" by trying to be fancy schmancy, however, her "cake" pic was just sliced strawberries, sliced Swiss Rolls, and Zingers with a pretty flower on top hahaha. Can't get more Redneck than that.

      Delete
    2. SMcDonald19:25

      While a cute idea (the "cake"), who the hell spends that much money on a party & goes so cheap on the "cake?" Ridiculous. As in, the entire event was ridiculous.

      Delete
  5. I love you! :)

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  6. The hubs and I just had this conversation! These parties are nicer than our wedding was. I love my 20 mo old more than life itself, but come June...I think a Kroger sheet cake and a picnic at the lake will be sufficient celebration. With everything else the OAM's think I'm doing wrong, he can just add this to his therapy list. Fondant does not = Love.

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    1. ps-Lighthouses of the East Coast about made me pee my pants. I don't know why.

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    2. Mequel10:32

      Haha! Me too! I think for me it's because I've owned that calendar!!

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    3. Me three! Is it just me or do they print that shit on tissue paper? lol Oh well, love my Lighthouses!

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    4. Anonymous20:24

      OMG.... Fondant does not = Love!!! That is sooo true! And in all reality I like the cheap buttercream icing or even SPLURGE on the whipped every now and then is WAAYYY better than the Fondant cakes I have eaten!!!

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  7. Guilty, but the theme is all for the boy! For his Elmo birthday I made signs out of poster board that it was brought to you by the letter I and the number 2 and welcomed my guests to "Isaiah's world" his 3rd was Thomas the train with a wooden train set in the living room and overalls and conductor hat for the boy. 4th was spiderman with masks and web shooters for all. 5th was marvel superheroes with everyone asked to wear something with their favorite hero on it. 6th was star wars. Complete with his own darth vader costume. At all of these the wrapping paper, streamers, balloons, plates, piñata, games, etc all matched the theme (and cost me appx $150) he loves it so I keep doing it. Punch taken!

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    1. LOL! I dont think thats bad at all really. Thats a fun KIDS party! I cant imagine what 6 year old wouldnt LOVE running around as darth vader on his birthday.

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    2. Yes your parties sound like they are about THE CHILD. THat's what matters, you do what he likes and wants. No harm in that!

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  8. Jennifer H08:51

    I have to admit, if I could afford it, I would probably go over the top for all my girl's birthday parties!!!

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  9. See, I have the opposite problem- I tried to talk my daughter into a fancy "spa day" theme with all her little friends at this place Sweet and Sassy. No. Guess where she wants to have it? That's right- CHUCK E. CHEESE, my personal pergatory. AND she wants to wear her Halloween costume from 2yrs ago for the occasion. Somewhere, this kid got the White Trash gene. I blame her father. FML

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    1. To this day, my kids believe Chuck E. Cheese isn't open on their birthday. They believe it is only for other kids' parties. They're not the brightest bulbs...

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    2. Kelly18:40

      I hear that kids are only young once and you should get to lie to them. Actress told her kids the beach was broken so they closed it. They will laugh when they are older!

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    3. ROFLMFAO @ Jen... that's funny as all get out! I'm fortunate, my older kids were obedient children, so if I said "No!" they knew it meant "don't freaking ask again, either!". My youngest is a stubborn chit, but she HATES Chuckee, thinks he's the anti-Christ or something I swear. Yay me! LOL

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  10. My sister in law transformed her house into Hogwarts. She changed all the family pictures into pictures of Harry Potter characters...she made my mother and I dress up like professors and teach classes in divination and potions...she sent invitations by owl (hand delivered distressed paper invitations with owls attached), gave out coins so the kids could 'buy' their wands in her replica of Diagon Alley...seriously, I'm throwing up in my mouth a little bit even writing about it...

    If anyone wants me, I'll be in the corner in the fetal position in the pile of dirty clothes, feeling inadequate...

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    1. Crystal08:57

      That is a RIOT!

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    2. Ooooh. Good Idea! I'm going to have to remember this one. :)

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    3. Anonymous09:25

      I wouldn't want all the work an expense to throw it, but it sounds fun to go to! (that's where these psychos can be a blessing)

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    4. Anonymous09:30

      I feel your pain! I'm always comparing myself to these OAMs. "Fetal position in the pile of dirty clothes." Hilarious! I'm sure your SIL isn't as funny as you are, so there!

      Delete
  11. I have to preface by saying that I'm a pet mom, so I have no concept of children's parties, but my dogs do have a blog and I did make Winston wear a party hat for a picture on his 1st birthday, so I'm not saying the whole idea of birthday parties is stupid, but the elephant chair party was creepy...it reminded me of the Munsters. The Marie Antoinette party was totally not for the kid, the hat was ridiculous and the child looked confused in the pictures I saw.

    BTW, love your blog!!

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    1. Anonymous10:19

      A pet mom? Your dogs have a blog? You are a prime candidate for a punch in the throat.

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    2. Anonymous10:21

      LMAO...

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    3. Anonymous10:29

      I agree

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    4. actually there are a lot of dog blogs out there. i enjoy the creativity some of these people take when writing from their dog's perspective. not all of us have children or even like children (i prefer my dog's company to most people). it's a simple blog they do and most of them selflessly take in foster dogs and rescues no matter the vet bill or amount of trauma the dogs have been through. that's no reason for them to get punched in the throat...

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    5. Oh dear, be prepared for the attack!

      In fairness, some of these dog blogs are really funny, but people who put clothes on their pets, especially costumes... tsk tsk, dear.

      Having said that, apparently I'm not using the correct terms, because I can't find any of these parties. Will. Keep. Trying.

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  12. I was going to write you about the OAM bday parties. I follow this one woman on Pinterest, god knows why, and she has whole boards dedicated to her kids birthday parties. One, a Harry Potter theme. Complete with "ideas for a Potions Class" spider web snacks, owl cupcakes, HOMEMADE chocolate frogs and quidditch themed goody bags. When I saw that, I thought, ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?!?!? WHO has that kind of time?!?! I just threw my 5 year old her first (and probably last) chuck e cheeses bday party and she LOVED it. most kids could give a shit about things like this. I agree with this punch a billion times.

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  13. My kids were both born in the middle of summer. After all the party guests sweating their asses off in our second floor apartment for my daughter's first birthday party, we decided to go camping nearby for my son's and have it there. I taped a couple balloons and streamers to the awning of the camper (and he was lucky to get that). Like good Northern Rednecks, we stripped him down to his diaper, strapped his booster seat to the picnic table and let him dig in to his $1.99 single serve grocery store piece of cake with blue icing while the guests ate grocery store sheet cake. When he was done, we literally had to take him out back and hose him off. Now THAT'S a party lol.

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    1. Anonymous10:38

      Love, love, love that you stripped him down to his diaper for his cake! This is the way our family does it for most of the 1st birthdays in our very large family. We've got 18 grandchildren and counting;)

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    2. Oh! And another thing-I thought I saw something about her celebrating her french heritage or something like that. Pfft... I have French heritage-well, French-Canadian loggers, but the point is you don't see me dressing my kids up in wool and flannel lumberjack get-ups in the middle of summer and handing out saws as party favors lol. Nope, I eat meat pie and poutine and call it a day! As for your comment Anonymous... I never could see the point of dressing my kids up when I know they're going to get messy :)

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  14. Jenn D09:05

    Just took my 5 year old to a party at a RECEPTION HALL! Granted, the birthday girl's dad was the chef there, but c'mon!!! My kids get a bbq in the backyard with burgers and dogs. If they had an exceptionally good year, I might turn on the sprinkler for them!

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    1. Anonymous20:28

      Sounds like my cousin's 1st birthday party. It was in a full blown reception hall. There had to be at least 150 people there. I seriously think I had less people at my wedding.

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  15. Perfect timing! My kids were both born in March. In two weeks, my son will have his first party separate from his sister. We are renting a bouncy castle and having cake and ice cream. After years of figuring out that kids don't really care what the theme is(at least mine don't-they tend to make up their own?), I'm not going to bother. Except that my son was born on St Patrick's Day so we've totally lucked out in that department. Luckily green is his favorite color. So I guess we'll do that until he's sick of it. Which is hopefully never because it's an awesome holiday for your 21st bday...

    My daughter gets hers at an indoor rock climbing gym where she gets to invite 10 kids. So, no theme and they provide the cake. ;)

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  16. Wasn't Marie Antoinette a bitch?? Why would they want their child emulating her?

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    1. Actually no--she was a very kind individual who loved all children.
      At one point in her life she even raised a peasant child who was hit by a carriage near Versailles. He grew up with her own children. So a party themed after her would actually make perfect sense.

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  17. Anonymous09:10

    For my younger son (10), I invite everyone on the street, throw them in the back yard with water cannons and cake. And they couldn't be happier.

    Now my older son is turning 13 on Sunday. I knew it was coming up but when someone mentioned that it was 12 days away I freaked. 12 days? And I hadn't even begun to plan anything. A quick call was made to a Fun Zone place, Amazon to the rescue for gifts and I am making cupcakes. Whew! Crisis averted!

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  18. Melanie09:15

    Wow. I especially like the added touch where 'guests watched a video montage of (the Childs) first year'. They must have been thrilled.

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    1. Anonymous11:13

      A video montage for a 30th birthday is great, potentially hysterical even, if someone is so inclined to put one together, but for a 1 yo? Look around the freaking room. The walls are probably heavy with baby pictures.

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    2. No matter how many pictures you take, you can never have enough videos of a baby. And, setting his first year of life to music and watching those moments where he ate his first bite of real food, and took his first steps, and started really smiling...I don't think there's anything nicer you can do than sit around with everyone who loves your baby watching a video like that.

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  19. Oh goodness. At first, I thought my super hero party might have chown up. Haha! What a relief! :). I do go nuts setting up stuff for our parties so kids can run on auto pilot during it. And I enjoy it. I do it is cheap,y as possible. But I have a friend who threw a " let your kid run around the p,aground" themed party. Ha!

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  20. I love to have kid parties at my house, and often have them for nieces, nephews, and friends' kids here too. The thing the OAM's are missing is that it's about fun for the kids. Kids love coming to my house because it's so kid friendly. We just pick an easy theme, put out the bounce house (clearance $169 Christmas gift to all 3 darlings a few years back), our friends bring theirs, and they have a blast in the playroom and/or outside. The teens hang out and supervise, and the parents/friends get to have actual conversations downstairs. The last one we had was rockstar theme, and there were 3 kids sharing the party. We had them dress like rockers (kids love to dress up!) A few balloons from the dollar store, a roll of tablecloth "red carpet", throw all of the kid instruments we already have in a room with a disco ball and let them have at it. CD player with kids tunes outside and they had a blast...

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  21. Anonymous09:19

    I hate birthday parties- throwing them or having to take kids to them. I always end up feeling like a total underachiever. We have cake and ice cream for the family. The end. Milestone birthdays get a little extra attention but not much. I have two kids born in same month- thats way too much money to spend on a party.

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  22. Anonymous09:27

    And I especially love getting THANK YOU notes, from these special little one year old children with their personalized stationary and written in first person. How obnoxious!!!!

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    1. Ugh - those drive me nuts! I've also gotten some this year that were Snapfish photo cards (the fancy ones, not the cheap ass ones I use for Christmas cards). Either send me a card from the parent thanking for the gift or one that the kid wrote himself.

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    2. Anonymous16:05

      At least you get a thank you note! In my previous neighborhood, apparently it doesn't count until the kid is old enough to write it themselves!

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  23. Anonymous09:27

    "I strung my son's monthly photo (him on a Stendig calendar) around the room as a timeline and had tags up listing his developmental milestones such as "rolled over for the first time."

    If that's not a completely unhealthy obsession with your child, I don't know what is!

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  24. bugandtim09:28

    I about pissed myself reading this blog post and comments. My son has a party at the gymnastics place in town. $100 for 10 kid to run around for an hour, eat cake and go home. And that is all for me! I don't have to put up with any of the BS and the kids have fun. Of course Marie Antoinette in the foam pit does sound like a good idea....

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  25. I admit, I do look at pictures from parties like that and I'm tempted to go overboard. But then I remind myself that my 3 year old really couldn't give a shit. Her 3rd birthday was fun and very cheap. I borrowed glass tea cups and dessert plates, the girls all came dressed in their finest princess or fairy costume and I made a pink castle cake. Presto....happy 3 year old. And really, isn't it about making the kid happy and not about impressing your adult guests?

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  26. Faron09:35

    Jen, I love your blog! But I must say I get a lot of ideas for my OAM-iness from your blog (like with the elf, and a potty party) better wind up for a big ol' punch to myself!

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  27. I am a horrible mom...my kids usually just get to invite a few friends over for pizza, cake, and ice cream at our house, and the older ones get to have a sleepover afterward.
    But it's funny that you posted this today, because I have a new kind of mom to want to punch. Two of my kids went to a party on saturday at skateland. I dropped them off, because I had 4 other kids to watch at home. When I went to pick them up, they told me that other moms had brought extra kids that weren't invited, so my two kids didn't get any food or drinks because they ran out! Then my kids were upset because it made them feel like they weren't really wanted there. Who does that? I would have totally bought more food to make sure everyone got something! Then I had to take them to get food because they missed dinner at home because we thought they were going to eat at the party.

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    1. OK, that is complete BS! The mother hosting the party should have made sure that INVITEES got food & beverage & cake, and if there was any left,the extra kids could have some.

      I imagine there was a concession stand where the mothers who brought extra kids could have purchased snacks for them. That's ridiculous!

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    2. I ran into that same problem at my daughter's 5th birthday party this year. We had it at the park district's indoor play ground and invited the 15 kids from her class. Several parents brought their other children and stayed for the party, pizza, and cake. It was fine because we had plenty of food BUT I made goodie bags (I know, I know-I hate goodie bags but this was her one and only "big" party, so I did the goodie bag) and these parents let the extra kids to take one so I did not have enough for the kids who were actually invited. I was totally pissed, to say the least. SO RUDE!

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    3. Anonymous23:38

      I had that happen at my daughter's 12th bday party. We were going to an ice skating rink. Small group of her really good friends. An invited friend showed up with an uninvited guest and the asshat parent that brought them didn't offer up money for the child to go skating with us! On top of that we then had to take 2 vehicles because we couldn't all fit in mine. What a jerk! I have never had a uninvited child show up - sometimes the parents will call to RSVP and ask to bring the child's sibling. Which is also a jerky thing to do too unless they are good family friends!

      Delete
  28. OK, I had to look up the Eames Elephant Chair party (and if anyone else is curious, just google that phrase - it shows up), and, um, it's pretty awful. Definitely parents with whom I could not be friends. That poor child will have to grow up with his pretentious parents as his greatest influence. Good luck not getting your butt kicked in school, kid.

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  29. Anonymous09:49

    My youngest's 10th birthday party (she'll be 20 this year - holy crap) was outside with 20 of her closest friends. No help, just me. They played the "old-fashioned" games, tug of war, musical chairs, egg toss , etc. Had a pinata, cake and ice cream. Sent them all home on a sugar high! Her friends STILL talk about this party, not her Bat Mitzvah, this party. I'm freaking amazing.

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  30. You can punch me all you want. I did Dr. Seuss for my kids first birthday party last December and I went ALL out.
    1. They are twins-they will NEVER have their own birthday
    2. I prayed for these children for over four years and went through blood, sweat, and tears....plus many trips to an IVF clinic in Chicago to make them happen.
    3. I am blessed to have a professional cake baker/graphic artist in the family so while our party looked amazing-the cost was miniscule.

    WHO did I want to punch at their party? EVERY person who kept saying what a lovely party it was and I was going through too much effort because my boys would never remember it. Shut the F%#@ UP! I think my kiddos are worth tons of effort. If they weren't they wouldn't be on this earth.

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    1. Yeah, you definitely love your kids more than the rest of us love ours. What crap. Sounds like some of your friends are sensible, though.

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    2. If you can swing it, go for it. The first birthday party really ends up being more for the family than for the kids, honestly.

      We were blessed with our only child after five years of infertility and IVF, too. But everyone who takes the time to plan a birthday party for their kids, regardless of how much they can spend on it and how much time they can put into it, loves the hell out of their kids!

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  31. The most over the top party my kids were invited to was where the birthday girl's parents hired a private bus to shuttle them from where we live in VA to Washington DC to the American Girl Doll Flagship Store for a luncheon and some doll-related shenanigans. Did I mention the birthday girl was turning 5? My kids are two years and three weeks apart in age. Basically, one has a birthday and then three weeks later, the other one does (on the same day as mine, but I digress). Out of desperation, I mean thoughtfulness, I decided my girls would get parties on big numbers (i.e. 1, 5, 10, 16, and 21). Everything else would be a family party. So far, so good. They're turning 7 and 5 this year, so it'll be one blow-out only and believe me, she's already plotting what she wants. Keep in mind, her birthday is in September, but I've already heard "Mermaid Masquerade", "Daytime Slumber Party", and "American Girl Doll Dress Up Dance (???)". I like being creative and lean towards OAM territory more often than not, but I can't even begin to claim to know what an American Girl Doll Dress Up Dance is. Guess I have until September to figure it out.

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  32. Anonymous09:55

    The Eames Elephant Chair is the ugliest most overpriced thing I have ever seen for kids.

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    1. Anonymous20:17

      I know!!! $320 for a chair??? WTF???

      Delete
  33. Both of my sons had large first birthday parties (totally for the adults), including a bouncy house (we called it the "kiddy cooker" since we forgot to consider the fact that it was in Texas in August) and a margarita machine. After that, we had maybe 2 or 3 themed parties until my oldest reached 5 and had his Chuck E. Cheese event. We tried one last time to have a party at the house when he turned 6. We invited the neighborhood kids to the community pool and to the house afterwards for cake and a pinata. After having 12 sugar-induced boys run through the house soaking wet, jumping up and down on our furniture and basically trashing our house, we decided all future parties would be somewhere where we could show up and someone else could clean up. Worst party idea? The year we decided to have a party at Build-a-Bear. We assumed the normal 40% acceptance rate when sending out the invites - about 6-8 kids max. Murphy's Law - all 20 showed up. That was my punishment as I am sure every parent who received the invite read "sucker" all over it. Thankfully, the boys have both hit middle school, so we opt for gifts instead of parties. PS - the most outrageous party my kids ever went to was at our neighbor's house - complete "Wild West" theme including a mock ghost town and pony rides. The kids were asked to wear their cowboy gear and received handkerchiefs and badges for goodies bags. Second outrageous? The "Boot Camp" themed party by the same neighbor (dad was ex special forces military). The boys looked real thrilled when the first thing they were required to do was run a mile through the neighborhood in their "government issued" costumes. On the bright side, said Dad invited his other military gorillas who brought their night vision goggles and tents (overnight party). Too bad the boys all went home early when a thunderstorm hit :)

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  34. Thank you - this made my day and got me laughing! You are right on target. Speaking of which, that's the theme of every party I've ever thrown my kids...excuse me, that would be Tar-zhay...For my 8-year-old's last birthday party, he requested a "donut cake" (stack of donuts with candles stuck in them) and everybody got tchotchkes from the Dollar Store. Unfortunately, the one I frequent isn't one of the "finer" ones, but hey - nobody complained.

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  35. Maura B10:02

    How do all of these parents find the time (e.g. Hogwarts family) AND then be able to swing into "Elf" mode for the holidays?! **sigh**

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  36. Allison10:08

    I couldn't even find the Cat in the Hat first birthday party you referred to. Why? BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY GODDAMN CAT IN THE HAT FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY OAM's apparently!!!! I found like 15 blogs that had Cat in the Hat themes. I DID find a green eggs and ham one with the child dressed in a linen jumper with initials, but their house was COVERED in green and orange bunting. I had to stop looking because I was truly horrified by all these OAM parties. Scary.

    For the Marie Antoinette one, at least that Mom has a completely French-themed Parisian style blog (if they don't live in France, that woman sure has a super hard on for living there). Her blog at least is mostly fashion and other useless stuff- it's not all OAM pride.

    And that last party? The colors ARE truly heinous. I have no idea what any of those things are either, so don't worry. :)

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    1. Anonymous15:24

      the lady with the French-themed blog lives in TX...

      Delete
    2. Anonymous20:23

      Does she live in Paris, Texas?

      Delete
    3. Holly16:10

      She was a French teacher and studied in France

      Delete
  37. here's my thoughts...if your kid can't remember the effin birthday when they are older then ask yourself who it's really for. chill out! it's just a kids birthday. i had these tori spelling type parties growing up and and it was nuts. i felt so much pressure to have fun...sad! i appreciate the effort my mom put into them but it got out of hand. just be normal. what happened to hot dogs, cake, and just playing!

    ReplyDelete
  38. i would love to hear you rip on the GREEDY moms. you know, the ones who invite you over for a party at 2 PM (past lunch time and well into nap time - so that you have to feed your child first, then suffer through a day with no nap), start the present opening promptly at 2, then straight onto cake (cut it no later than 2:35) and then expect you to leave ASAP because they have dinner plans. guest blog? LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10:43

      See I have been told that 2pm was an ideal time BECAUSE it is after church, lunch, and naptime. Most kids take a nap around noon, 1ish- not 2,3ish. That is why most kids' parties are at 2pm

      Delete
  39. Anonymous10:24

    I don't even know what MoMA is....so you can feel better - you're wayyy ahead of me. In fact, I needed a glossary for a couple of themes in that post. I'm a firm believer kids parties should be for kid, not supermoms.

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  40. Anonymous10:31

    Here ya go, girls...you're gonna want to cock back the fist for this punch: I not only made custom shirts for the kids' goody bags at my daughter's 1st bday party (Yo Gabba Gabba theme), I also ordered custom beer Koozies with my daughter's name on them and "First Birthday" and the date. That was the favor for the adults. Hahaaa! Looking back now, one year later, I wonder what drugs I was taking.
    This year? We are taking her to the circus. Followed by cake and ice cream with family members. Learned my lesson :)
    -Keri

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous15:37

      The first step to recovery is admitting your problem. Good job! ;)

      Delete
  41. Funding My Kid's Future Therapist's Lexus-one parenting mishap at a time10:31

    Maybe the OAM--Health Nut Edition can punch the OAM--Party Edition for serving high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated oil filled snacks at these parties. She dresses her kid in a bazillion dollar silk dress but then serves Little Debbie and Hostess snacks? Granted those Swiss Cake Rolls were cut cute and arranged with the lovely pink Zingers but if they want me to be impressed, crack out the homemade goods. On that note, its nearly lunch time and this OAM is off to go change out of her PJs.

    ReplyDelete
  42. You know...The Marie Antoinette party has to be the worst of the bunch..

    I hate to admit it but I sort of liked the IDEA of the Eames Elephant Chair party (minus annoying "hipster" stuff like mustaches/retarded color scheme)...I think if you had a nice family party based on a favorite toy or something that would be fun. Like a raggedy ann doll or something that they always play with. But other than that, that party was just obnoxious

    ReplyDelete
  43. I'm pretty sure I could make a Stendig Calendar with a piece of poster board and some mailbox number stickers.

    I'd rather sped $40 on an overdone Cat in the Hat cake melting in my kitchen. At least it would taste good.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Dusk10:37

    When our daughter was turning 7, she wanted to go to the Statue of Liberty for her birthday. We told her it was an expensive trip and that she would have to give up her birthday party. She was okay with that. That trip was awesome, we worked our son's birthday in as a trip to the Empire State Building. Our kids don't want birthday parties any more, we pick some place within driving distance and spend a 4 day weekend exploring some place new. They wouldn't have it any other way now!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a great idea! Those are the memories children will cherish, not some whacked-out craft explosion.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous20:18

      This is what we've started doing as well- kids only need so much stuff but the memories we can create will definitely outlive the cluttering toys.

      Delete
  45. I started out going slightly overboard (nothing like the ones discussed above) for their birthday parties, but having them at my house caused me too much anxiety worrying about getting the house spotless...only to have it trashed and have to do a repeat cleaning hours later. Even when I had them somewhere else I was determined for it to be perfect, this too caused stress and/or anxiety. Then I realized the kids really don't care that much, they just want to have the party and definitely don't notice all the details I spent way too much time worrying about! I lucked out on the fact that I have twins, so I get away with two parties a year for my 3 daughters. I am having my 8 year old's party in two weeks. I convinced her she wanted it at a gymnastics place, not because she loves gymnastics or because it was the cutest place around, only because for a reasonable fee they do absolutely EVERYTHING for us! We just show up and play, they do invitations, food, drinks, cake, setup/cleanup, have someone write down the presents each person gets her (I'm terrible at thank you cards), etc.! I am so looking forward to not thinking about the party at all. I recently told my girls I'm only doing parties until the age of 10 (twins are 9...only one more to go..yahoo), with the exception of a sweet 16. I told them after 10 they could invite 1 or 2 friends over for a sleepover for their bday, nothing fancy...pizza and movie, maybe some cake.

    Oh and a tip for anyone forced to have it at Chuck E Cheese (I abhor that place and refuse to have it there and my kids know not to even ask, they're lucky I even take them to other bday parties there), do it first thing on a Sunday morning. It may not sound appealing to have a pizza party Sunday morning, but the place is EMPTY and doesn't start to get crowded until you're leaving! Only time I have ever gone to a party there and left without a migraine and ready to kill someone!

    ReplyDelete
  46. Anonymous10:39

    I plan to throw a first birthday party that is over the top, but I call it a one year celebration. The first year of marriage was CAKE compared to the first year of my child’s life. This is a celebration that my husband and I are still talking to each other, let alone married. This is to celebrate that my little guy can eat real food and drink cow’s milk, this is to celebrate that he is one year old and that in 1 year and 10 months he went from nothing to this little boy who is no longer my baby. Yes, I know all the sites you talk about and I expect you would punch me, and that my family and friends will nominate me for a punch after this party. I admit this is for ME, I NEED a party after the first year of my son’s life, I have given more of myself to him and my husband and been totally selfless and I want to have a party to celebrate the end of that life, and the beginning of a more self sufficient child. It’s not about topping it since he can’t remember it, it’s about celebrating it and making it as special as possible. Check back on his second. The Dr. Suess party lady goes over the top on President’s day, but her blog says, “every day is worth celebrating” in the title….

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous21:32

      My kids are older, but in hindsight I would have thrown a "Yay! We-didn't-kill-the-little-bugger-and-we-are-still-married-after-a-year-of-no-sleep-and-lots-of-diapers-party". It would involve all of the relatives coming over and adoring the baby, and working out among-st themselves whose turn will be what day to watch the baby. Mom and dad should then go someplace secluded for a week of sleep to try and get caught up as a reward.
      Just a thought.

      Delete
  47. I've done movie parties (there's always the one kid with the teeny tiny bladder who makes 50 trips to the bathroom), and gymnastics parties and bounce house parties - but nothing too crazy because I'm fairly cheap. :D

    And I clearly remember the first real birthday party my daughter went to - she was in preschool and the other girl's birthday was mid-December. And her mom had a pony party, complete with pony rides. An outdoor party. In December. In New Jersey. It snowed a day or two before this kid's party and I clearly remember freezing my tail off, standing in a foot of snow, watching these frozen, chapped-faced kids all waiting for their turn on the pony, who looked miserable. Awful. It took hours to thaw out after that one.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Anonymous10:40

    2 Boys...........birthday parties are hot dogs, homemade cake, and a back yard with a theme: Football, Star Wars, Obstacle Courses, etc..........Take home a token, inexpensive toy that relates to the theme - NO party bags stuffed with candy that the other Mom's don't want to deal with!!!

    ReplyDelete
  49. These people are ridiculous. My kid's thrilled with a store bought cake and a couple balloons and an afternoon to run around with his friends like wild animals. And I'm thrilled to not have to put too much money and time into something that in all honesty no one's really going to remember past the next day. My cousin was planning an 8th birthday party for her daughter in a slightly swanky area of the Phoenix suburbs here (but not THAT swanky!). It was going to be at a local park and she had all sorts of games and obstacle courses planned. She's a borderline overachiever mom herself, so it would have been really cool and tons of fun for the kids. Unfortunately, out of almost 30 kids from her daughter's school that were invited, only two RSVP'd. She got snotty comments from the other moms like, "Oh. At a park? Really? Um, I don't think we'll make it..." Seriously?! When did parties at the park become so "low class" that you feel that it will ruin you to be seen at one? She ended up cancelling the whole thing and just taking her daughter to Disneyland for the weekend. Who ARE these idiots?!

    ReplyDelete
  50. Anonymous10:50

    I don't know what MoMA is either and I'm grateful for that!! You know, this society is obsessed with keeping up with the Real Housewives of whatever the hell..they equate all this excessive spending with love and think their child is going to thank them one day for the privileged childhood. Except they won't. They will be so spoiled and bratty at that point from living in a fantasy world that they are going to shrug and figure you owed it to them anyway. I can't imagine how this generation of toddlers is going to be able to make it through real life with all the ridiculous parenting behavior we have now. I don't know, I kind of feel like in their quest to be a glossy magazine parent, parents are ruining childhood for kids.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Anonymous10:54

    My youngest is 9 months & his cousin just turned one. She had pony rides and a petting zoo! My husband asked me, a little concerned, what I was planning when he saw the invitation. My reply, "I'm planning to take pictures of him riding ponies and petting animals. Then when he's older we'll tell him it was his party!". Hahaha!!

    ReplyDelete
  52. I am the first to admit that I get a tad bit carried away with the birthday parties, so I will take my punch. Although, I let my children pick their themes and I make almost everything myself. And no special coordinating party outfits. Our biggest expense is entertainment which almost always consists of a jumpy castle and last year a trackless train ONLY because we know the people who rent it out and we got a great deal. My mom threw me a big party every other year growing up and always made it so special on a budget. I have very fond memories of my birthdays and I want my boys to have that also. Birthdays are one thing, but you will NEVER see us having a potty party.

    ReplyDelete
  53. jennie k daniels11:02

    My son just turned 2 and we had a camo themed party for him, should've done pixar's 'cars' agaim because that's what he's into. his name is beaux (bo) hunter, guess what his daddy is, so i go through creative slumps -although it was cute- where we do things that go with his name. We got the kit with the streamers, tablecloths, plates, napkins, the whole shebang. The cake, too, was camo with a bow and arrow on it. I even asked people that were invited to wear camo. Not everybody did, but it was fine. I'm thinking cars of mickey for him next year unless he could actually tell me what he would like.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Anonymous11:08

    One of my friends threw a Barnyard Birthday for her 1 yr old complete with a petting zoo (yes there are companies who will bring a mobile petting zoo to your house). I made the mistake of mentioning that the child would have been just as happy with cake and a plastic baby pool in the backyard. She told me, "Oh no, she REALLY appreciates what we've done". I was like, she's 1. What 1 yr old understands the concept of appreciation? She can't even say please or thank you.

    I just don't know what happens to otherwise rational, intelligent, college educated adults that they become slaves to the whims of a toddler. Good luck with that one when she's 16.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Mloch53@aol.com11:11

    Yes. We asked, you punched.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Yay! Yay! Yay! I love you and I'm jumping up and down! Yay!

    ReplyDelete
  57. Anonymous11:24

    Im commenting as Anonymous because Im obviously not meant to be on this site. I am an "Over Achieving Mom", who LOVES to design and create beautiful parities for my daughter, 9 & son,2. I normally love to share my parties and even have parties featured on Amy Atlas, but you people don't need another person to burn. Birthday parties are just one of my creative outlets and how I spend money on my kids is only my business. Im sure that you all have something you do well and are proud to show it off.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Awesome! The last birthday I threw for my daughter was cookie themed. I found a pic of a cookie jar online, blew it up in word, then typed on it our invite info. I did get balloons and party supplies that matched the invite. But that was the extent of effort. The kids just ran around my backyard. We did have cookie decorating as an activity (all store made supplies) and a cookie cake from the mall. They are 2, they enjoyed running, getting messy with icing and then eating cookies. You should check out the crazy themes on pinterest, you could do a part 2 post!

    fyi: I read this blog post and typed the comment one handed. Why?? wait for it.... because I'm breast feeding. But I'm not NH material, he's wearing pampers... shame on me...

    ReplyDelete
  59. I think what annoys me the most is that I'm jealous as hell that they have the money to do this shit. I don't want to have these foolish parties - I just want the money to be able to do it.

    That said, I have a sister who is a fabulous SAHM who does themed parties for her kids. She bakes the cakes (and they are kick ass looking and tasting cakes) and bakes little mini-cakes and cupcakes to go along with the theme and her kids (and those invited) think it's great. My sister, however, is not made of money nor does she flaunt what she does have. She bargain shops for everything and gets insane deals on stuff. I guess that's why what she does doesn't bother me.

    ReplyDelete
  60. It's insane... and dont' get me wrong. I LOVE birthdays... and because I did not have parties when I was little I made sure that MY daughter had a great parties every year to make sure she knew it was a big deal that she entered the world.... HOWEVER... her first few birthdays?? She doesn't remember them at all, there are only pictures. So why spend $1000 on decorations and crap when she doesn't care?????

    Even when she got older, it wasnt' about the decorations and the party favors... all she cared about was the guests and the games (and the presents maybe). So I never went WAY off the rocker. Its just a waste!

    ReplyDelete
  61. First off did you ever have the pleasure of viewing tlc's outrageous kid parties? It's insane kindergarten graduation and preschool grad parties that are $30,000 + , cakes that are life size replicas of the kids,and the most obnoxious adults I've viewed on tv (and I watch dance moms I should know :) ). Great mindless tv to fold laundry during ! These people are crazy, I'm a sahm and I can't even afford to throw yearly birthday parties for my 2 boys with just our immediate families ( bc that's 30 people). So I will say though that bc I can't give them a party I try my damnedest to bake whatever kind of cake that will make their day special even if that means going through 8 box mixes and staying up until 5 am to make a Dino cake or ( I shudder as I reminisce about this) friginn alien brownie pops for 15 classmates hopefully when they grow up they will remember that mama tried hard to make their day special for them even if they didn't have a huge celebration or tons of gifts to open........ And you better believe I take pictures of all those dumb cakes in case they forget ;) also as a side note I googled those parties and I was not oooing and ahhhIng as those moms probably envisioned people doing, I was struck by little things such as " colorful" bunches of popcorn ? I wonder how disgusting the diapers of those kids were for days to come......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry just reviewed my post, ummm I think I was wrong when I wrote immediate family, they do not have 28 siblings, I meant just grand moms, pop pops, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Also sorry so long I'm fluent in detail and have horrible grammar and punctuation skill, and ps I wanna " punch" autcorrect bc it takes forever to publish a comment with the catchpa or whatever it's called bc my computers tries to turn the letters into words, that's all keep up the snark Jenny, I love it!

      Delete
    2. Omg last post it turned jenn into Jenny, I didn't presume to know you that well, punch away at the girl who keeps commenting her own post

      Delete
  62. I'll second that punch! It makes us lazy, noncreative cheapskate Moms look really baaaaad. Although I've noticed a trend - for which I blame preschool/daycare - of "outsourcing" the kids' birthday party. I'm talking about the bounce house or pony riding/petting zoo birthday parties (or other venues). Whatever happened to the "having mostly family plus a few friends over to the house for a low key party?" Now you can't just invite a few friends from daycare - you have to invite the WHOLE class. And if I have to invite 20 kids under the age of 5, they won't be coming to MY house. So instead I have to shell out $200+ to book one of these play places (and that doesn't include the cake and 'gift bag' giveaways that are required either). And then the kid gets a mountain of presents from his 20+ friends which turns him into a toy psycho. I guess the only positive side to this trend is there are no sticky fingerprints at the house.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Did you happen to 60 Minutes last night? They interviewed all these moms that were holding their kids back a year in school to help them be more confident and better in sports. I sort of understood where they were coming from, but just listening to them made me want to give them all a throat punch. They all thought they were raising the next CEO of GE. One pasty lady who looked like she couldn't even identify the difference between a soccer ball or basketball and definitely passed on zero genetic athleticism talked about "I don't know if he'll like sports (by 6 you can tell if your kid has some athleticism) but my son deserves that opportunity, even if it isn't fair to the other kids." Throat punch that lady!

    ReplyDelete
  64. Anonymous12:56

    My question is, who gave you the right to judge others for doing something they felt would create a fun memory for their child?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaa! Is this your first time on the interwebs, honey?

      Delete
    2. Anonymous14:31

      Have you read this ENTIRE blog?

      Delete
    3. I didn't realize I need the "right". It's out there, so I judge. If you don't want to be judged, don't put it out there.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous17:45

      Judge not lest ye be judged. It's in the bible. You should read it sometime.

      Delete
    5. Anonymous20:24

      oooh can we punch McJudgey christian moms who suggest that you read the bible?!? HA HA

      Delete
    6. Oh Lord. :insert eye-rolly emoticon:

      Delete
    7. Sorry Anon2 - that was meant for Anon1...

      Delete
    8. Anonymous, Umm...are you judging her for judging? Did you read the entire blog, and get this far into the comments looking for someone else who shares your opinion? It would really be easier if you just went to a blog written by people who like to throw OA parties, rather than a blog that clearly makes fun of OAMs.

      Delete
    9. @Anon1:
      Freedom of Speech. It's in the U.S. Constitution. You should read it sometime.

      P.S. This blog is one of sarcasm and satire (she gives us a pretty obvious warning with her blog title). If you can't take a joke, you probably should spend your internet reading time elsewhere. Also, she's punched (judged) HERSELF a few times on this blog, so chill.

      Delete
  65. I thought I did pretty good to give my daughter an Elmo themed party. I got some stuff off of Etsy for about $15, got her a small cake and cupcakes for the rest of us at Walmart for about $10, (I did spend money on an outfit, which was about $50 and was WAY more than I would ever spend on an outfit), and then got some decorations at Party City. Oh, and we had Oscar the Grouch Trashcan Punch (alcoholic) which I thought was funny. She will never remember this, so really, the only reason I did this was for her to look back and have pictures and for us to celebrate that we made it a year without breaking her! I do think first birthdays are a big deal and I don't want to act like they are not. And I did want to do something I thought should would like. Everything we got was Elmo and she did recognize it, but the rest of it was just for us. Some of the themes I've seen out there, I just can't imagine what time they've taken! I will say, people make money off Etsy for stuff like this, and if it's another mom out there putting in the hard work and I am helping them to make money off their creativity, I'm all for it!

    ReplyDelete
  66. With five kids, I've learned that for a first birthday, my kid gets a birthday cake with a candle to blow out and his own birthday cupcake to devour at will and one present. We don't even have anyone over. With the others, they only get a few birthday parties. One when they're in kindergarten and therefore turning six (in an attempt to meet people and make friends) and one when they're 8 and one when they're 12. They plan their own parties. My oldest did a Phineas and Ferb party last year when he turned 8. I made the cake, but he planned the party, down to the "pin the tail on Perry the Platypus" poster and drew it himself. He made the invites. He made up the games. We went pretty cheap, not spending much money on anything. I have nothing against a theme and homemade stuff, but I think that a kid doesn't need a huge flashy party every year and they especially don't need it when they turn one.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Maureen14:20

    Yes I am definitely guilty of this, although my daughter really DOES love her birthday parties. Last year for her third she randomly started asking for a rubber ducky themed party about 4 months before and you better believe I hand painted signs, made homemade duck chocolates and bottles of bubble bath for the goodie bags, filled pools and buckets with ducks.....all out I tell you. For the second birthday I special ordered honey pots as favors and hand painted honey pots for all of the tables. This year we're already brainstorming ideas for her party in June.

    But with all that said I do try to save money where I can, order a store bought cake, do NOT have a matching outfit for the theme and I just really genuinely LOVE going over the top to make her happy.....even if that means staying up all hours of the night the week before the party hot gluing, painting and making the food. And this is just for family I'm in no way ready to start going down the road yet of birthday parties for friends.....I've been to some already and THOSE make me look like an underachiever.

    If I'm an OAM then so be it, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Anonymous14:31

    What's with kids getting cakes as big as wedding cakes? I was lucky if I got a store-bought themed sheet cake; mine were usually homemade 9" x 13" deals. I don't think anyone can top my SIL this year. They are celebrating my niece's FOURTH birthday by taking a $3,200 Disney cruise. I'm all for Disney World, Disney cruises, etc. if that's what you want to do, but perhaps wait until the child can REMEMBER it? Just a thought.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Hello,

    The Marie Antoinette party you are talking about is the one I threw for my daughter, and I ask you to kindly remove the image of MY daughter from your blog.

    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Anonymous14:34

    Do you read the NYT Motherlode bolt? SHe blogger had an article last week about deluxe goody bags/yes or no goody b gas that was along these lines as well.

    I'm only an OAM when it comes to goody bags, because I enjoy it. My kids are getting older, so I only have a year or two left to do them. I take pride in finding real items at $1 or less from Michael's/JoAnn Fabrics/Target $1 bin on sale, etc. I don't spend more than $3 a bag, and the kids get something real (journal &pencil, silly putty and yo yo, etc) vs. Oriental Trading stuff that no one will want after the ride home.

    ReplyDelete
  71. gmgerdvm14:56

    Love, love, love this blog. I agree; birthday parties are out of control, and sadly, most of them are more for the adults and the parents' egos than the kids.

    Last year, one of my friends and I put on a "treasure hunt" party at a local beach park for both of our kids. (they have a lot of mutual friends from Cub Scouts, and it turned out that both of them just wanted their CS friends there anyway, so guest list worked out great) I went into slightly OAM mode and made a treasure map (tea stained, creased, and mineral oiled to look like old parchment) and hid clues around the park. The kids had a blast figuring out the clues and following the map, and the "treasure" was buried in the sand on the beach and contained the goodie bags: a bunch of little stuff from the dollar store. Cupcakes, fruit, sandwiches and a bunch of 2nd graders chasing each other around followed the treasure hunt. Each of the boys got ONE gift as part of the treasure hunt, and we told our guests "no gifts"...we figured that both of our boys had enough "stuff", and with the party being a twofer, we didn't want anyone feeling overwhelmed by needing to buy stuff. We were told by our kids that it was the best party ever, and their friends had a great time too. Best part is that I don't think either my friend or I spent more than about $40 on our part of the party!

    LOL, maybe I just hang out with the right people; another of my son's friends got Little Caesar's pizza and Publix cupcakes during a Cub Scout campout for his birthday, and he declared it the best birthday ever!

    ReplyDelete
  72. Anonymous15:12

    I’ve seen a lot of these over the top birthday parties on blogs everywhere and I often wonder if I’m the only one who thinks they are too indulgent?!?! I think we’re raising today’s children to be self centered and spoiled! Giving children too much creates a sense of entitlement! It’s been my experience that the more children have the less they appreciate it.

    I believe that these moms truly love their children; they just don’t see the big picture. I also don’t think anyone thinks of the environmental impact that an over indulgent lifestyle creates. Our planet cannot sustain this constant need for bigger better more. Think of the amount of trash that parties like these or Christmas generates.

    Whatever happened to simple pleasures? What’s wrong with asking a child what their favorite meal is, what kind of cake they would like and having a family dinner celebration? Or what’s wrong with a family trip to the zoo to celebrate? I’m willing to bet these kids would enjoy the time spent together much more than the hectic preparations these big birthday bashes create!

    On a final note, when I was a child, my family didn't have a lot of money, but I never knew it. I remember one Christmas that stands out when my sister and I got a doll house that my dad made and my mother decorated. She made curtains for the windows and little bedspreads for the beds. We only received that one gift, but I thought it was special and I was thrilled!

    It's sad that today's children get so many presents at Christmas that they don't even want to open them all! Then they're upset because they didn't get one of the things on their list! Let's stop the madness!

    ReplyDelete
  73. Anonymous15:19

    How sad that all you can find to post about is Hating on others..............

    ReplyDelete
  74. I have thrown a lot of birthday parties and yes there is a happy medium. There are a lot of happy mediums. For my older kids who both have July birthdays we used to do a slip and slide and grill burgers or something similar. For our twins that are November we have done things like bowling and pizza or an afternoon at a local farm that is part of our park district. The really good news is that by about age 10 or so you can simply get away with having a family b'day party which at our house means going out somewhere nice for dinner and then coming home for a cake that I have usually made. And yes I live in a area of over the top over-indulgent parents and extremely entitled children. Trying hard to keep mine away from that!!!

    ReplyDelete
  75. Kelly17:17

    Ugh...if they start all of this now, what's it going to be like when they turn 16? I guess MTV will have to resurrect My Super Sweet 16. I feel like these parents will be the ones calling their child's future employers, telling them that Hortense must have at least an hour siesta and that they can't be there until 10am so as not to disturb their natural body rhythms.

    I don't mean to go all "Black Bart" in this post, but I just feel like many kids today have a strong sense of entitlement. Just keep things reasonable, that's all. I will climb down from my soapbox now.

    ReplyDelete
  76. Anonymous17:48

    I just want to say I think you absolutly suck. I am the aunt of one of your rants and raves and we made a party from imagination and not alot of money. At least we didnt just drive thru McDonalds and throw a happy meal at our birthday girl. We are of French decent and that is why we had that party theme. It had nothing to do with a head being chopped off. If you knew us which you obviously dont you might understand our creativity. Our child is taught the value of things at a very early age and to use her imagination to learn and grow. You have insulted us and I absolutly dispise you. I wish I could punch you in the face for being so hateful. God dont like ugly and you are ugly!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous18:34

      However, the values of punctuation and spelling don't seem to matter.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous19:30

      I don't see what was so "hateful". Jen poked fun at your niece's party theme. She didn't say your niece was ugly or stupid looking, or anything truly hateful like that. Learn to laugh at yourself a little! I'm just as deserving of a throat punch, from this criteria. My son's last birthday was a cowboy party with aged wanted poster invites, and the backyard transformed into a ranch complete with barn doors and (fake) barbed wire. Each kid got a bandanna and a cowboy hat and the goodie bags were hand sewn from old jeans and held a deputy badge and a bottle of IBC root beer. Did I go over the top? Hell, yeah I did, and I'm sure if I had blogged about it, I'd be made fun of too. The difference is, I can recognize satire and I'm never afraid to laugh at myself.
      In short, get over it, and if you can't, keep it the hell off a public forum. Just saying'...
      And BTW- Jen would also punch me for saying just sayin'

      Delete
    3. Anonymous21:01

      I'm sorry, did you say you wish you could punch her in the face for being so hateful, then bring God into it? I'm going to pee my pants laughing. I'm also comfuzzled at explaining the theme with your French heritage...were you related to Marie or is that just something your family likes to celebrate? ummmm I always like a good beheading theme at a toddlers party myself. It's so festive and all. WTH?

      Delete
    4. Anonymous21:10

      You are French and you're telling us "god don't like ugly"? Troll much?

      Delete
    5. My husband is originally from England. Does that mean we can do a Princess Diana themed party for our daughter because of the family heritage?

      The level of taste is the same.

      Delete
    6. Anonymous22:25

      You sound like a pretty hateful bitc* all on your own. To say that Jen "sucks" shows a class all on its own level. You are sure one classy lady saying that you also want to punch her and despise her. You obviously don't understand satire and sound pretty miserable.

      Delete
  77. Anonymous17:50

    Last year I tried to have a party for my 7 year old. We invited about 14 kids but because his birthday is close to Easter or spring break only 3 RSVPed. So, we planned games and cake - Transformers. I got a pinata and dollar store junk for it. The kids were just happy running around and playing - they didn't want to play the party games (except the pinata). We had hotdogs and chips (chips are a total treat for my kids) and cupcakes. Whammo - happy kids, happy parents, story over. This year, no planned games will happen. We will replay last year with a different pinata character and cake. Maybe pizza instead of hot dogs.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Anonymous17:53

    Oh, holy hell! I just checked out the Marie A party and couldn't believe the ridiculousness. Seriously! Who chooses such a them for a one year old? My favorite - did you notice the food? Those are Little Debbie Swiss Cake rolls cut into tiny pieces. She must have thought herself so clever! I do have to say, if you're going over the top, do it right - the handwriting on the doily was horrible, at least she could have taken it to a calligrapher to have it done right!

    ReplyDelete
  79. Anonymous18:57

    You have the nerve to point at other people,laugh at them, and then to post on their own blog to tell them how now you are helping them since this will get them more visitors. Ok. I get it. You need this attention since this is how you get visitors. I also understand this is all public and yeah its ok for you to knock others in a negative way. You seem to be pretty self righteous so that can even be your next punch, blogs are public so you can put them down all you want. I don't know, there are a few blogs out there that I really enjoy so its kind of ugly to think that people like you are out there to knock others down. There are some really shitty "moms" out there. Why not piss and moan about them? Why put down mothers who do great things for their kids? its pretty trashy to put down these people and then tell them to laugh at themselves?? Your blog is full of neg. crap, who the hell are you to tell them to laugh at themselves? I don't know those blogs or those people. I heard of your blog through a bitchy neighbor I used to know. Doesn't it get kinda depressing to be so negative all the time

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pretty easy to voice your dissent while being anonymous. If you don't like what Jen has to say then why are you reading it?

      Delete
    2. Seems like you don't get the point of Jen's posts and I agree 100% with BNo. Lighten up and grow a sense of humor.

      Delete
    3. Jill23:27

      I agree! Lighten up and calm down!

      Delete
  80. OK, the themed parties area bit over the top, especialy for a one-year-old. But the ones I think deserve the biggest PITT that you can muster are the ones when the parents have a "Come shower my kid with gifts" party where they invite all of their personal and professional friends to their kid's first birthday party. I've been to a couple of these and can't stand them. But I found a way of fighting back. I go out searching for the most obnoxious action and sound toy I can find and get it in the line of presents as early as possible. The idea is to get something the child will fall in love with the instant he sees it and want to play with nothing else from that point on, ignoring all the other toys, guests and/or party favors. And I've had some great success with this tactic, too. So, go ahead. Invite me to your kid's first birthday party. I dare ya!

    ReplyDelete
  81. GUILTY AND I DON'T CARE ;) THAT SAID...NO MTV Style crazy ridiculous Sweet 16's in the future...UNLESS Big Daddy and I win the lottery..;)
    http://domesticengineer2twins.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  82. Anonymous20:09

    Um, now I feel like trash. We just had my 7 year old's birthday party at the bowling alley (his choice). Hell yeah! They serve beer! (no worries, root beer for the kiddos) No cleaning or decorating for me.

    ReplyDelete
  83. I find it ironic that that woman picked Marie Antoinette as her example of opulence while the US is pretty intolerant of the same-she should really do some reading about the French Revolution.
    And
    Everything hipsters do is irritating and gag-worthy, birthday parties included.

    ReplyDelete
  84. Anonymous20:15

    I deserve a punch for sure. Hell I almost slit my wrists... my themes aren't over the top, but my goodies bags are better than any gift my daughter receives. Last year was the worst. Zebra and teal theme... goodies bags consisted of (and I should mention ALL handmade by me, taking 3-4 weeks) a picture frame, hairbow, blinged out bandana headbands, personalized t shirts and fleece blankets with handstitched initials. Am I an idiot, absofrickenlutely. I should mention, 13 girls got said bags. Everyone is asking to be invited next yr. I started this madness 11 yrs ago and I don't know how to shop. Punch me please!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maureen08:37

      Sounds like the goody bags I give out at my daughter's birthdays.....homemade chocolates, personalized glass bottles of bubble bath or honey (to fit the theme) picture frames, etc) and she's not even four yet! Can't wait to see what I'm doing when she's 13!

      Delete
  85. Anonymous20:16

    I am a cake decorator and this year for my daughter's birthday, I had a store bought cake *gasp*! I was so freaking tired chasing my 3 kids around that I got a small chocolate cake and we went to Chuck E Cheese. We didn't do the birthday thing but just went to eat and play games. Oh we went on gift cards they got for Christmas and it costed us a whooping $8 out of pocket! Talk about a bday on a budget :). I don't get the big over the top parties. I think it's more for the parents to feel good about themselves. We had a great time at our $8 birthday and the best part ...There was NO cleanup :)

    ReplyDelete
  86. My SiL is an OAM wanna-be (she doesn't quite get there, but damn does she want to) and my niece's b-day is coming up. I can't WAIT to see what crap we're in store for!! The simple fact that she put all of the invitations/plates/decorations etc on an Amazon wish list for others to buy should tell you exactly what we're dealing with here.

    ReplyDelete
  87. I think you need to add a punch for the OAM's who talk their kids having birthday parties where they request the guests don't bring presents. Instead they request donations for some pretentious cause that you know the kid really doesn't care about. Give me a break, the kid did not come up with giving money to a turtle sanctuary on their own. Additionally, you are only a kid once and what is wrong with kids actually wanting presents on their birthday!! Just sayin'... Love your blog btw, thanks for the great reads!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is annoying to read, although I'm from redneck parts of the world and I don't think anyone around here has EVER done that... however, I've seen so many bratty, greedy, ungrateful chldren at parties, not even LOOKING at each gift good, or telling anyone thank you, that when my daughter was born, she was taught strict manners about thanking each person individually. Also, every party we have ever had always included the line "Gifts are appreciated but not necessary" because she just wanted the people there, and didn't really care. She was never shafted in the gift department though, people LIKE buying gifts!!!

      Delete
    2. Anonymous08:54

      The typical birthday party party routine seems to be games/socialize, food, cake, sing, presents. At one of my kid's family parties I once had them open their gifts immediately upon each guest's arrival. That way, the guest got to actually see them open it, my child was able to thank them personally right then and there, and there wasn't the usual free for all tear-through-the-gifts-in-10-minutes-thing. The rest of the party was more relaxed too for everybody involved.

      Delete
  88. So not an OAM. Family parties, mostly involving playing in the pool, with grocery store sheet cake and invites and plates in a theme the kid chooses. Good enough! Kids think it's the best ever. Over-the-top parties stop being about the kids.

    ReplyDelete
  89. Jenn m20:32

    Found the Marie Antoinette theme for baby. Disturbing. That's all I can say. What is wrong with people?!?!

    ReplyDelete
  90. I threw my daughter a tea party last year for her 6th birthday. It cost me about $75. Everything was decked out and all handmade (hence the $75) I know that it looked like I needed a punch but then again I was an art major and doing the handmade thing just suits me. Meanwhile she went to some parties last year that cost hundreds of dollars each. This year she is having an ice cream themed party that will be just as decked out and again handmade. I have the budget down to about $50 for 8-10 kids. Not bad. Oh I and do it old school with games...only parent that did that too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love doing a whole bunch of cool, crazy handmade decorations for my kids birthday parties. It's fun. And it's not about impressing the other adults. It's about making the house look really cool and magical so that, even if the kids don't remember the details they'll remember that feeling of looking around and saying, WOW!

      I admit I go a little overboard, but since it makes me happy and it makes my kids happy it works for me. I've read a lot of comments on this blog that have been really condescending of mom's who go all out for parties. Although I agree that no party should cost exorbitant sums of money, I don't think it's fair to assume that the only reason these mom's are doing going overboard is to impress everyone. Maybe that's true in some cases, but certainly not in all.
      Maybe some of them had a crappy childhood and they're trying to live vicariously through their kids. So they go a little crazy, but their kids have fun and they have fun and everyone goes home happy. I just figured I'd kick in my two cents on the other side of the story.

      Delete
  91. I might have a little stupid on my daughter's 5th birthday this year...she wanted a cake that looked like Rapunzel's tower...no one made one I could order. I have seen the Food Network..and rice crispies appear to be an easy artistic medium...Let's just say I ended up having to take shelves out of my fridge to get the great white penis looking monstrosity to fit. BUT>>>after many icing flowers later..it turned out looking like a tower. My kid loved it. As did her friends. And don't forget the 30 foot yarn braid that decorated the living room, and the Rapunzel look a like that came and sang happy birthday...this year for her 6th? Chuck E Cheese. :)

    ReplyDelete
  92. Anonymous20:43

    This is just plain funny. I am mostly a slacker mom with an occasional oam moment. I cannot let my kids turn in a crappy school project. I do however love taking my kids to Chuck E. Cheese because I bring my kindle and let them self entertain. I get two or three hours of time with no interruptions.
    Seriously? Marie Antoinette? That is just crazy...

    ReplyDelete
  93. Jenn,congrats on all your new haters that don't get your blog! Can't wait for the weekly wrap-up...ha.

    Hey n00bs, it's called SATIRE. Google it! ;o)

    ReplyDelete
  94. Anonymous21:03

    Totally agree - but I think the worst are "coming out parties.." You know where the couple has to have an audience to announce that the baby they are expecting has a gender. Who the f cares people?! People have been having babies for um... forever? And guess what? They all have genders! You do not need a decorated, themed party to announce the gender of your unborn child.

    ReplyDelete
  95. Dang it. Now I have to cancel the order I place for 300 Eames Elephant Chairs and come up with something more unique and avant garde. I hope my toddler will understand and appreciate the new, "Victorian Post-Mortem Photography" theme I am working on for her second birthday.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous00:27

      Winner.

      Delete
  96. Hahaha I totally deserve a punch in the throat. My sons 4th birthday is this weekend and we are having a pirate themed party. I am making a pirate ship cake with cupcakes decorated with chocolate coins. There will be marshmallow "pirates" and pirate hat cookies and also homemade "jewel" (candied) popcorn. I have a mini cardboard treasure chest for each kid with an eye patch, telescope, bandana, compass and "treasure" candy (Hershey's Gold Nugget bars, chocolate coins and candy rings).
    In order to get their treasure they have to go on a treasure hunt around our property by following my handmade mini treasure maps and clues. There is a 3x5 pirate flag to hang in our driveway entry and X to mark the spot in our driveway. I've made a pirate costume (from 2nd hand clothes) for my son to wear.
    Punch me now. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Add in another punch for me...I did this same theme for my son when he turned 4 which also coincided with our new swimming pool (he's an August birthday). So in addition to most of the above items, we had inflatable pirate swords for playing in the pool, "peg legs" - large pretzel sticks, and "cannonballs" - watermelon and cantaloupe balls! LOL We have since cut birthday parties to every couple of years and pizza/family!!

      Delete
  97. All my birthday parties are the same, simple and easy. We rent a ramada at the park (close to the jungle gym) the kids run around like crazy while I clorox the tables. My mom buys pizza, my sis-in-law makes the cake (she's watch a lot of Cake Boss and now her stuff actually looks like that) and I give out little gift bags at the end of it. Simple but fun (the kids have never complained and while they are all on the jungle gym I can have some 'grownup' time with my friends that came)

    ReplyDelete
  98. Adults just want an excuse to dress up silly and entertain themselves.

    Any excuse will do.

    A kid's birthday, eh? That'll do.

    Oh, the photos? That's so the kid can look back on an event he or she has no memory of and know he or she was loved. Nothing to do with Facebook. Nothing at all.

    ReplyDelete
  99. Anonymous07:31

    I follow a bagillion blogs and never like, vote, etc, but I think your personality really shines through your writing -- even with the sarcasm, foul language and all -- you can still tell you are a genuine person and for that I am voting for ya! (well, primarily because you're funny)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the compliment AND the vote! I'm not aiming to be Number 1, I'd just like to make the Top 25. ;)

      Delete
  100. I remember three of my birthday parties. My favorite was the slip n slide in our yard. We had burgers, dogs, and cake to eat. My parents' philosophy was that just because you can (spend a lot of money, time, etc) doesn't mean you should. Not getting every little desire served up on a silver platter builds character--something these people who conflate love and indulgence have obviously never heard of. The excess makes me want to vomit.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Anonymous08:03

    You've wanted to punch me when I was the blonde cheerleader in high school, when I was top in the class in college (and your boyfriend left you for me). And now that Im the Over Achieving Mom its the same feeling. Im used to this treatment and reaction, its nothing new to me and guess what? You'll never be me....and thats why you want to punch me in the throat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OR...she wants to punch you because you're annoying and high on yourself. It's one thing to be confident, it's quite another to awaken every day believing you're so awesome that everyone aspires to be you. That's called delusional. And, did I mention it's also annoying?

      Delete
  102. My boys birthdays are 8 days apart in July and they will be 7 and 5. With them being the summer we can get away with not having to invite the whole class. For my oldest's 5 birthday, I invited the whole Pre-K class and had a race car theme because he is a Nascar nut. Not one kid showed up, one mother called to say they were coming but never showed. Thank God the woman who babysat him brought her grandkids and a coworker brought her son or there would have only been adults and his siblings. He was upset that no one from school came but apparently everyone was on vacation. I went all OAM on that party. I bought little wooden race cars to paint, cars to put in the goodie bags, I had banners made, everything. So now we are going low key for all parties. They can pick a theme and I will get the plates from Party City and a Pinata and that's it.

    ReplyDelete
  103. I think I just figured out why no one comes to the birthday parties I've put together...missing the goodie bags and nine thousand choices of cupcakes.

    ReplyDelete
  104. Anonymous08:19

    We usually do 1 big party for our 1 kid, and we invite everyone (family and friends) and turn it into a big cookout (his b-day is in May). I get a bounce house, the hubs gets beer. It works out. We rarely have a "theme" (he wanted monster trucks last year so I bought little trucks and stuck them on top of homemade cupcakes). This year, he'll be 6. He wants Christmas in May. With an appearance from Santa. We got a fake tree for $20 after the holiday this year, so we're setting up the tree in the garage, pulling out our ornaments, and having everyone bring gifts wrapped in x-mas paper. Cheap for us, since we have all the decorations already. But, since it's cheap for us, we'll get the bounce house again... Haha Goodie bags will probably be from Oriental Trading, since you can't find x-mas crap in May anywhere else. Blargh.

    ReplyDelete
  105. Talaine from Alabama08:28

    A Marie Antoinette party for a 1 year old?!?! I had to stop mid-paragraph and google that one. I nearly threw-up in my mouth! There are just no words. And Jen...I'd swear we were related! You write the words from my heart! If we aren't family, I am totally girl-crushin' on you!! Keep being fabulous!!

    ReplyDelete
  106. I am not kidding... my kids didn't get a birthday party until they turned 5. My sons 5th birthday party was in the BACK YARD! Yes... I said back yard. Parents were NOT invited. EAch kid was given a headband with a feather in it and I painted war stripes on their faces. I may be politically incorrect but these kids had a wonderful time running around "wooping" it up. I served them hotdogs, chips and cupcakes. They had a blast. My daughter's 5th birthday party was "dress-up" and they all came in their dress up clothes. This one was cold weather so they played inside the house putting massive amounts of lip and eye shadow on each other. They had a wonderful time and I spent zero dollars on decorations.

    ReplyDelete
  107. Nicole09:21

    I took my son to a mad scientist birthday party for one of his classmates once and at first it seemed relatively harmless. The kids came in and immediately put on "lab coats" and goggles and had the option of putting colorful gel in their hair to spike it up into whacky 'dos. They conducted experiments including the Mentos in Diet Coke in the yard.

    It was creative, if not a little over the top. What took it to the 3rd level of what-the-fuckery was the last experiment when the mom whipped out a bag of owl dung that she had special ordered online and had the kids dig through the matted turds to pull out and examine the contents which included insect parts and mouse bones.

    Any birthday party that includes aviary fecal matter is officially shitballs crazy.

    ReplyDelete
  108. I'm not even going to get in on the discussion about the French party - but I do want to stand up and willingly take my own punch.

    I love to give my kids big birthday parties. I don't spend gazillions of dollars on them - but I do spend a significant amount of time on them.

    Why? Well, for one - every year that my husband and I survive another year of parenting our three children relatively unscathed is a reason to celebrate in my book. I adore my children - would do anything for them - but parenting is hard - and kinda sucks at times. So when each kid turns a year older and they haven't been noticibly scarred for life and I've not ended up medicated or institutionalized - hell yeah I throw a big shindig.

    And second - I enjoy crafting. I know - I'll probably be punched for that as well - but I like coming up with silly/stupid names for food so I can make cute paper tags that match with whatever theme the party is (probably had the most fun with my second child's Dr. Seuss 4th birthday party.) And I like to bake and decorate cakes and cookies. It brings me to my happy place to sit in my kitchen when the family is sleeping to decorate oodles of cut sugar cookies.

    I think of it as a labor of love - and when my children laugh and squeal and hug with the fun they're having - that's what makes the previous year of sometimes hard and often times icky parenting worthwhile.

    I fully realize the same reaction would be had if I took them to a place like (gasp) Chucky Cheese (that I've somehow managed in nearly 8 years of parenting to avoid) or one of those horrible bounce house places that makes me want to poke my eyeballs out. But if I enjoy the crafting and planning and baking and whatnot - why not do it myself?

    Oh - and as far as the goody bag stuff from your next post (might as well cram all my stupendous thoughts into one comment) - we don't go over the top at the parties we have - but we also don't give out bags of crap. I hate the bags of junk that my kids bring home from birthday parties - and after sneaking around after them to confiscate and toss said pieces of plastic - I vowed never to give such. Rather, I look for things on sale that matches the theme. For the Dr. Seuss party - I found an awesome deal on Dr. Seuss books. Each kid got a book to take home. For the superhero party we just had - each kid got a cape + mask that they wore at the party (found at 90% off at wal mart after Halloween - costing me all of $1 per kid.) Or, if its a party where the kids make stuff - like my daughter's 7th fairy party where they made fairy wands out of sticks from the backyard + ribbons - that then becomes the take home.

    All that to say - big parties are in for our family. And I love 'em. So go ahead. Punch me. I'm ready. :)

    ReplyDelete
  109. Misty11:27

    Birthday parties...Glurg! From the start, because I hate parties so much, we told our kids that they could choose between receiving birthday gifts and having a birthday party (with no gifts from family and where guests would be asked to not bring gifts). The kids always chose the gifts...until one chose the party. She was 6 and wanted a Chuck E. Cheese-style party in a local hell-hole rife with germs. Since then, we haven't given them the choice...no more parties. There is a group called Birthdays Without Pressure that has organized against the circus of children's b-day parties (http://www.cehd.umn.edu/fsos/projects/birthdays/default.asp). They have some interesting stuff to share, too.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Anonymous14:22

    OK, a couple things here - First of all, I think it's much more typical to go overboard for a 1st, 2nd, maybe even 3rd party because you're still in the batshit crazy mode in which you do everything overboard for your kids because you think you have to. However, the whole elephant thing, whatever the eff that is, is ridic, as well as the rest of things you described. BUT my point here is that it's insane to think that one mom loves their child more than another because they choose to hold outrageous parties when the next mom chooses to go to DQ for a sundae. Let's get it straight - parents do this for themselves, not the kids. THEY want to feel as though they're being a great parent and THEY want their guests to apparently see their immense love shown by the amount of balloons and $200 fondant cake. These parties are NOT for the children. I began discussing my daughter's 5th birthday party ideas with her last week. I spent 15 minutes talking about thoughts I had and things we could do to make it fun for her friends and her response, after 15 minutes of my rambling, was "Can we play with the hose"? And there you have it. Again reminding me that these extravagant parties are not for the kids;)Kids are simple little creatures:)

    ReplyDelete
  111. Anonymous14:26

    Also, all of these posts mention "I like to" and "I love to" and then you say it's for the kids? Read some of your posts again...you're doing it for you and that's fine but don't bitch and try to act like you're doing it for the kids. Kids truly don't care.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Melissa14:47

    I can't reply to the lady above who talks about wanting to be like her, stealing your BF, etc. What a dumbass post that made zero sense. Are you insinuating people who make fun of over achieving moms are ugly and sad? Ha! I was a cheerleader in HS, captain actually, along with VP of my class and a million other things that someone like you might think make a person special. You sure as hell didn't steal my BF....so who do you think you are? Jen's blog is for purposes of HUMOR. Get it? You know, LAUGHING at yourself? You sound like a rude, snobby bitch and maybe you were a cheerleader in HS but I guarantee you're huge and ugly now;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous17:50

      nope, I'm still the same size! xoxo

      Delete
  113. Pardon my rant for just a second... but I have to say you nailed it with the stupid mustaches!

    WHAT IS IT WITH THE MUSTACHES?! You see everyone posing - adults in the middle of wherever, a kid with a mustache stick, a baby with a pacifier that has a mustache, tattoos, etc. Goofy face + mustache = good picture! What is so cool and hipster about this? Last I checked, *real* mustaches aren't considered to be in-style or cool, so *fake* ones are? Did I missing something? And where did this originate?

    Ugh - this is just one of my pet peeves of society 'trends'. It surpassed the stupid owling idea that went around.

    ReplyDelete
  114. Creative title, personalized stationery should help :D

    ReplyDelete
  115. Jen I may be an OAM when it comes to birthday's (because it is my hobby) BUT
    you are an over achieving blogger mom ....so there! I have two blogs that nobody has read so I am feeling inadequate. I love that you are an OABM because it gives me my morning enterinment.

    ReplyDelete
  116. Anonymous07:10

    My friend threw the best b'day party ever for her 6yr old boy: A Food Fight! His b'day is in the middle of summer so she set up a table outside with bowls of jello, mashed potatoes, pudding and alum. pie plates full of whipped cream. After the food slinging was over, the boys were hosed off and they played on the slip and slide. A good time was had by all even with no balloons, matching paper plates/cups or even goodie bags!

    ReplyDelete
  117. I get that for some parents, mostly moms, reflects a love of party planning. However, where it bugs me and where they or people in general deserve the punch, is that they set very high expectations and that many seem to judge those who don't throw the same elaborate parties.
    Not all families can afford those parties, nor do they have the time to plan these!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agreed. I have to admit that I'm WAY guilty of going all OAM with birthday parties, but I do it because I enjoy the planning and crafting, ect. I'd NEVER suggest that I go to all the trouble because I love my kids more or because I'm not lazy like other moms. It's those people who deserve Jen's punch. I know my kids enjoy their parties, but theyd enjoy a quiet family day just as much. Any mom who gives their child a special experience is doing a fab job. Whether that's a $500 catered affair or an ice cream cone at Sonic matters not.

      Delete
  118. Anonymous14:35

    So I get that there are some crazy OAM's out there. But there is also a crazy fine line. I have to give an "A" for effort to those mom's who do everything themselves, buy the party supplies from a store, buy the cake from a bakery, even adding their crazy scrapbooking skills to the details of the party. HOWEVER, the ones who really deserve a punch in the throat are those who hire an entire team for a kid's birthday party. The other day I saw a party featured on a website, one of the credits was to a WARDROBE STYLIST! And the list went on and on!!!!! Really???

    ReplyDelete
  119. Anonymous22:18

    You sound like a pretty hateful bitc* all on your own. To tell Jen she "sucks" and other lovely things to me shows much worse class than the satirical blog that Jen writes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous22:20

      Im sorry, that was me above and it was in reply to a post much earlier from a women who said that Jen "sucked" and that she wanted to punch her. I didn't mean for it to end up down here.

      Delete
  120. SMcDonald20:11

    I'm kinda guilty myself. I love planning parties for my 2 young kids (now 4-1/2 girl & 18 month old boy.) However, I bargain shop for decorations. I keep a big box of glittery stuff, leftover paper & plasticware, balloons, etc. in solid colors for reusing / adding-to each year (Hobby Lobby Christmas clearance is great for this stuff!) I let my daughter pick her theme. Then I let her pick out her cake from the grocery store bakery. Each year we buy a few disposable "theme" items (paper plates, etc).

    I also have a large box full of favors (that I also use throughout the year for extra gifts, etc.) that I add to all the time: consists of crayons, coloring books, bubbles, clearance tutus, Hot Wheels, fairy wands, Target $1 bin items, shovels, books, socks, straw cowboy hats, lip gloss, dollar store necklaces & flowered headbands, holiday 75% off clearance stuff, sidewalk chalk, etc. The key is to spend a few dollars (no more than $10) on occasion (not more than once a month) throughout the year & stock up to spread out the cost. Our goody bags ROCK.

    Our parties are lots of fun with lots of fun stuff, but they're inexpensive (especially considering that their birthdays are less than 2 weeks apart.)

    For my son's first birthday, we went with Thomas the Train (easy) and he loves trains.

    My daughter recently went to a Tea Party Birthday. SO fun. Held at a local catering place that's in an old Victorian home. Set up one room with a long table, lace tablecloths, etc. The mom went to thrift stores for several months beforehand & bought real china tea cups & saucers (the sets didn't all match but it was great.) She also bought inexpensive thrift store tea pots for serving. Each girl got to take theirs tea set home. She also bought thrift store flowergirl, party, etc. dresses for $3 to $4 each (they're 5-yr olds). She put all of the dresses in a trunk & each girl got to pick one out to dress up in when they arrived. Bought pretty sun hats at the dollar store & put a big silk flower on each. They had warm flavored tea in their cups, punch, cupcakes, fresh fruit, "tea" sandwiches, etc. VERY cute, very inexpensive and the girls had a fabulous time. My daughter immediately decided that's what she wants for her party this year. So, what am I doing? Thrift store stocking up. How can you beat $5 here & there over the course of a few months for a fantastic tea party!? ;)

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  121. I found the Marie Antoinette party post and what really caught my eye was this little gem, "A beautiful vintage lampshade adorned with beautiful pale aqua ribbon reinforced the color-scheme, and added a very romantic feel to the decor". When I finally decide to have kids, I'll have to remember that my precious baby girl's first birthday needs a very romantic feel. I never realized that I needed to sex up a toddler's birthday celebration but thank goodness I now know. I would've felt like an idiot.

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