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Gender Reveal Parties

It's a....OH, who cares?!
I have nothing against party planners.  I know it's their job to always come up with new ideas to sell to people, but when they start throwing Potty Parties and Period Parties you know they're grasping at straws.

The latest trend I've heard about is a Gender Reveal Party.  Wouldn't you love to be invited to one of those?  Well, I would not.  I'll just tell my friends right now:  Save your stamp.  I'm not coming.



 Think about it, pregnant friends.  I have suffered through the weekly pregnancy bump pictures being posted on Facebook, the grainy ultrasound image that I can't tell heads or tails (vaginas or "turtles"), the Lilypie ticker thing on your blog counting down every damn minute of your pregnancy, and the constant Twitter updates re: your food cravings, your lack of appetite and/or your husband's "sympathy" weight gain.

I will attend a baby shower where I will bring you a gender-neutral toy and guess what candy bar has been microwaved in a diaper to create "poop."  I'll probably gross everyone out and lick one of them.  It will be funny.  People will laugh and it will make your shower fun and memorable.

Once the baby is born I will watch the YouTube video of the beautiful birth.  I will bring you a dairy-free, non-spicy, vegetarian meal (because you'll be breastfeeding and the baby will have "issues" with whatever you eat).  I will listen to you regale me with how different you feel now that you're a mother and how much you love your little guy or gal.  I will listen to you cry about your baby blues and I will pat your back and tell you it's going to be OK.  I will hold your baby and cuddle him or her while you eat your hot, dairy-free, non-spicy, vegetarian meal - eat up, it might be your last hot meal for a while.

After I have agreed to happily do all of the above you now want to me to go to a party and throw pink or blue confetti depending upon the color of the cake you serve?

Ugh.

Come on!  Please, please, please stop throwing a party and making everything an "event" in your life.  Yes, finding out the gender of your child is an important thing and you would like to share it.  But no one except maybe your parents really gives a shit what you're having.  No one wants to get dressed up and hire a babysitter (because, of course, kids aren't invited to this soiree) and plaster on fake smiles like fools while you cut a pink cake or open a box of blue helium balloons or sky write "one of each" or whatever the fuck you're going to do to raise that bar and make your gender reveal party better than your co-worker's!

You're just not that special.  Now, knock this shit off and get some sleep - you're going to need it.

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178 comments:

  1. Anonymous08:06

    LOVE THIS! I agree 100%. Since when did it become customary to throw a party for EVERYTHING?! It's bad enough I'm shamed into going to your kids birthday parties for the next 50 years, I don't want to attend multiple parties while their in the womb as well! Glad I'm not the only one.

    P.S. If you're providing large amounts of food and liquor at this party, I may reconsider...

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    Replies
    1. Agreed. Yummy food and liquor is a deal changer for me too.

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    2. Anonymous21:37

      If you don't wanna go to parties, don't. But you shouldn't judge the people who throw them. No matter the reason they are having them.

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    3. Aw. Anon. You're a bad ass.

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    4. Free booze?!?! I'm in- cake/cupcakes & Kool-Aid?!?! Not so much.
      I'm with you- save your energy, you'll need it.

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  2. I did a gender reveal AT my baby shower because it ensured I didn't get a punch of ugly pink-princess onesies. And I would do it again. But I don't understand having a SEPARATE gender reveal party. That is what you're talking about, right? People want a baby shower AND a gender reveal party? That's too much planning.

    When I was pregnant, all I wanted to do was sit on the couch and eat Chick Fil A. You couldn't have PAID me to throw two parties.

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    1. Aria Cole Asher14:17

      Did you throw your own shower? Why would it have been you throwing two parties? I think it is more the concept that is seen as frivolous, not necessarily just the party. There's no need to be offended if you did something that Jen didn't agree with, so there is no need to be trying to defend yourself so much. Do what you want.

      I tend to think these sorts of things are completely adorable the first time I see them, but now three years later it is simply overdone. I always wonder who the first person that ever came up with the idea was and if they are totally miffed that everyone copies their creativity.

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  3. TOTALLY agree. I used to write for Chicago Moms Blog (which is now defunct so I can't give a link), and I wrote about the gender reveal parties. I pretty much made the same points as you, Jen, which is that I don't have the time in my busy life of baby showers and children's birthday parties to attend a party revealing a baby's gender. I just think a party like that suggests that the expectant couple thinks I care way more about their baby's gender than I actually do. I mean, I'm happy to read about your baby's gender on FB, text, or email. I just don't want to devote a whole Saturday afternoon to finding out if you're having a boy or girl.

    Anyway, when I wrote that post, I predictably got some comments that agreed with me and others that didn't. Then another blog picked up the story and there was the same mixed bag of comments. THEN somebody from the BBC contacted me and asked if I would be interviewed on their radio call-in show as an expert on the gender-reveal party, as they were "just starting to have these parties in England and were sort of unfamiliar with them." I felt bad for America at that moment, because it's not as though these parties are really a time-honored American tradition. Also, I am not an expert on them. Anyway, the BBC never did that story, which was a good thing because I was a little afraid I would get death threats from the detractors, whose comments on the blog posts were full of hate.

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    1. I find your comment hilarious! 'I felt bad for America..' lol!! Seriously though, that kind of says it all, right?

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  4. Anonymous08:34

    YES! Thank you! EVERYTHING now-days is such an event. There is nothing private or shared just between families. It is too much. I wouldn't go either!

    Here are some more punches.....

    I have a teen daughter, so I'm now at the other end of the baby side. From where I see it.... those over-the-top parents are done. Exhausted, blew-the-wad early, done. They were too much in the baby, toddler years (the parents that drive everyone crazy with compulsive-like OCD child-rearing). Yet now they don't know what to do with this mystery guest in their house (AKA their child). These people I know have thrown up their hands, and let go. They don't check facebook, have no idea where their kids are half the time, and I even have know parents that allow their kids to date alone at 14, REALLY???

    THe other thing I can't believe is this media crap about the too thin model. HELLO! Americans are almost 50% obese. Yet there are people bashing her, saying she is a piggy? She is THIN! I have a daughter here world! I would really like some support here on the body image department. Where is all the woman support on this one? I think it is about time, we as women stand up and put an end to the nonsense of super-thin obsessed culture. I (almost) feel a little sorry for celebs who put on (God forbid) a few pounds here and there. The focus should be on eating healthy and keeping your weight in your BMI, which would not have models, and celebs looking skeletal at all. Too bad our culture doesn't spend more time on a person's character, or morals!!!!!!

    Love your blog Jen, thanks for letting me rant!!!!!

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    Replies
    1. No kidding, Anonymous (if that IS your real name). The moms who were celebrating every milestone from APGAR score to first spit-up seem to have ceased caring by the time the kid gets to be a snotty 13-yr-old. Maybe they're angry that the kid didn't live up to her Baby Einstein potential?

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  5. Sheesh, that's a "thing"? Man, I may sound like a grump, but I don't even like when a person who has a baby has a shower for a subsequent kid, so this is beyond the pale. Oh well, at least there's cake.

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    1. Cheers! I agree!

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    2. Megan09:21

      Ugh! That is my biggest pet peeve! I cannot stand when women with multiple children have another baby shower ESPECIALLY when they are having the same sex they already had. Should've saved your shit from last time, I already bought it for you!

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    3. Someone in my mom's group is throwing one for herself in a couple weeks and I will not go. She has a less than 2 year daughter. Granted, she will be having a boy this go round, but my feeling on this is she should have planned better 2 years ago for neutral items in case she had a boy. I may give some sort of gift when the baby is born but am not that close to her so who knows.

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    4. I agree. And I don't even think it's an excuse if you are having the other sex the second time around. I had two boys, but couldn't use all the first's clothes on the second because they were born in different seasons. OBVIOUSLY I should have planned to have them in the same month, but I'm such a grabby narcissist that I really think I should have had a "Having Another Boy, but Shit, Wrong Season, BUY ME CLOTHES" party. And, it doesn't make it any better when these parties are called sprinkles. Ugh, the tackiness!

      Also, baby clothes do not have to send you to the poor house. We have tons of upscale resale shops where I live and I assume they exist in most places. I've gotten clothes for my kids there from Janie and Jack and Gymboree with the tags still on.

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    5. LoveNotes - lol. My two boys are 3 1/2 years apart almost to the day so I totally get the different sizes. I didn't expect anyone to provide anything for him. I also have actually had to buy #2 clothes because his body type is so different from his older brothers. I am expecting another in November but we will not be finding out (again). And again, I don't expect anyone to provide anything for this baby. Gifts are obviously welcome but I will not put anyone under obligation for them. I had a shower for my 1st and that was fine. I will say I have been to a couple showers for people who have had a child several years after their last and have gotten rid of everything. Life happens.

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    6. JT1222, I have girls 3 1/2 years apart and saved everything, meticulously sorted, and wound up having to buy more clothes anyways because of VERY different body types! (and different seasons) While I don't think I would have "GOT" that before I had them, I totally GET it now. :)

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    7. I have had four babies and four showers. It's not beyond the pale...it's kind friends who want to celebrate new life. I certainly don't throw showers for myself nor is ANYONE forced to come or expected to bring anything. But it is nice to get together (especially for me...it's usually my first nice outing after throwing my guts up 24 hours a day for 20 weeks) and rejoice that a new baby is being born. The guest list has gotten smaller each time and usually represents family and the very closest of friends. If you don't want to celebrate a new baby, don't, but you don't have to snarky about those who think every new life is a reason to celebrate.

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    8. I don't mind the idea of a shower for each kid as long as you're not popping one out each year or something. You can always use more diapers and buying baby clothes is fun. A friend of mine threw me a surprise baby shower when I was pregnant with my second. I wasn't expecting one and was a little embarrassed but everyone seemed happy to be there.

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    9. Anonymous10:27

      For one, I'm having a baby shower AGAIN. My son is 3. And I didn't save anything from when he was a baby. I wasn't planning on having more kids...until my fiance talked me into it. :) For 2, some people like having their family and friends around to celebrate a happy time/new life. If you're going to put cribs, swings, changing tables, etc on your registry, for the 2nd baby I think thats a little much. But I'm expecting people to bring maybe a bag of diapers, or a cute outfit or something. So it's not like I'm expecting anything big from my guests. I want to celebrate with everyone, and sit around, eat food, and talk. I love being in the company of my family. If someone gets an invite, and feels like you do, don't come! I guess if you feel like that, I really don't want you there anyway!

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    10. I love baby showers. People should have them for each of their kids--it's not only the first child who is special! For most people they are about friends and family, having fun, and celebrating a new life, not a bid for more gifts. But buying baby gifts is FUN--I would not want to take that part away from the parties! Go if you want, don't go if you'd rather not, and perhaps consider that your time might be better spent on something other than kvetching about who you think shouldn't have a party.

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    11. rjrmommy and Christine Crabb, I'm totally with you, it's a fun celebration and all babies are special and should be welcomed.Maybe the complainers get a lot of invites, which would get tedious I understand.Celebrate each new baby.

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    12. It's the comments from people tat say they needed a baby shower because the baby was born in a different season or the opposite gender that bother me. So, the purpose of the shower is to provide you with the things you need for the baby? If you need others to provide those things- don't get pregnant!

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    13. I am not having a baby shower for my 2nd (due any time) but I am having a welcome baby party after the Christening. Mostly because my family want something. I have people ask me what i need/want for number 2, so I told them gift certificates for diapers/etc. I have more than enough clothing for number 2 (we saved daughter 1 clothes) and I have cousins who are want to give me their clothes as well.

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    14. My boys are 7 years apart. My co-workers held an baby shower for my 2nd son after he was born- it was well-received and we all had a good time...my 3rd came along 8 years later- a girl- and I was at a new workplace/new group of friends, so I was given a shower before she was born.
      I for one like the idea of a "Welcome Baby" party more than a baby shower before the baby's born, but maybe that's just me.

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  6. Maybe I'm just a softie, but I think so many people feel so NOT special in their regular lives, that they grasp at the chance to fake it when they can. Most people work crappy jobs, fight with their families, lack talent, aren't super smart (not everyone can be, right?)--so if they want to cut a cake to show everyone whether there's a hot dog or hamburger in their uterus, that's fine by me. Of course, I'm glad most of my friends are finished with the pregnancy/baby stage so I will never have to attend such a party...

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    1. "whether there's a hot dog or hamburger in their uterus"

      There's a little human being in their uterus. Hot dogs and hamburgers are food products. Children are people.

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    2. Ohhhhhh. Now I get it. Thanks for the clarification.

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    3. I believe Starr was using a metaphor, which made me snort my drink through my nose, so bravo! On the flip side I wouldn't be too surprised at the rate these parties are going that people have "how big is my food baby" parties as an excuse to make themselves complete gluttonous pigs.

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  7. These are separate parties? I thought this was just some dumb thing people did at baby showers.

    If I had a gender reveal party, I'd make a baby shaped piñata and make people beat the crap out of it to find out the gender.

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    Replies
    1. Allison10:05

      LOL, that's a great idea! That one had my laughing. Nice.

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    2. How about coming out of the kitchen with a platter of either hot dogs or tacos? Too crass?

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    3. StephHC14:57

      LMAO!! Good ideas Jenn & James! Or you could have coin purses and swords come out...

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    4. Nothing is too crass for my unborn children.

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    5. LOL! LOVE the pinata idea! Hilarious!

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    6. BWAHAHAAAAAAA!!! Piñata!!!! That's awesome!!!

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  8. Yup. That pretty much sums it up. Love you like a sister for taking that hit for the rest of us. You speak the truth. Erin

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  9. Thank you so much for saying it. So often I just want to email people your posts.
    As someone who is a mom, has lost a child, and then had to have her uterus taken out I get tired of the every figgin detail of every persons, who has the most tenuous connection,pregnancy.
    I'm happy for them, but really? I didn't give that much attention to my own pregnancies.

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  10. I didn't even know these exist!!! Sheesh - anything to get gifts these days??

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  11. Anonymous09:01

    Agreed, but I have a friend who had two losses, one infant after a battle in the NICU and one late miscarriage who did this (and is currently awaiting the arrival of this precious rainbow), I give her a pass for this! (Each situation is different.)

    Still think the most awesome "reveal" was when we had our ultrasound and my mother insisted on knowing (she was there with my husband). I don't think in the 30 years of practice, my doctor ever saw that reaction! My mother was quite pleased and jumped out of her chair shouting with joy! :)

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  12. I can't believe people waste time and effort on throwing parties for that crap. I hate entertaining anytime other than football season (beer. wings. pizza.).

    These are the same moms that have special 'smash cakes' for their kid on their 1st birthday. Extravagant, over the top, wasteful, indulging, shall I go on? People would kill for a piece of that cake that your soon to be obese, type 2 diabetic toddler is shoving up his nose and dropping on the floor. I digress...

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    1. When my friend and her husband did the cake for their son's first birthday, they gave him a little cupcake and had a sheet cake for the rest of the crowd. That way he got to mash to his boyish heart's content and got to have a little bit of sweetness, but the adults and his kiddo cousins got to eat all the cake they wanted. It was cheap and he had a good time, and it was much more sane than a special little cake for him!

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    2. That is so much more reasonable! I need new friends...I had a friend post pictures of the cake they gave their 1yr old and it was a decent size. Of course he only ate a few bites and the rest ended up wasted/on the floor. A cupcake I can handle.

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    3. We just gave ours a regular piece of birthday cake and she smashed it to bits. No need to buy something separate. The real cake does just fine. And, a little sugar a time or two per year does no harm.

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    4. Our local grocery store gives a free very tiny simple "smash cake" when a customer orders a cake for a child's first birthday. Otherwise, I certainly wouldn't have ordered a separate cake!

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    5. I have never heard of a "smash cake". Both of my kids just had a piece of the same cake everybody else shared.

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  13. This is a thing? I've never heard of this.

    If I ever get pregnant, I will throw:

    A pregnancy party (everyone has to wear pillows under their shirts)
    A first trimester party (everyone has to throw up in bags every half hour)
    An amnio party, since I'm over 35 (everyone has to submit a sample of fluid)
    A maternity clothes party (everyone has to look worse than me)
    A c-section party (everyone gets numbed up below the ribs and draws a big scar with a red sharpie)
    A post partum party (everyone cries and drinks)

    Each will have an appropriately themed cake.

    Then I'll throw a party for my baby, who will be a complete genius whether he/she wants to be or not.

    P.S. I'm not going to do any of that.

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    Replies
    1. we should all start doing these parties!!! just to make fun!

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    2. kelly12:06

      My kids are 21 and 19, Is it to late for me to throw the postpartum party??????

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    3. Anonymous07:35

      Yes!

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    4. Anonymous23:32

      Oh God...that was great! Made my night.

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  14. Anonymous09:06

    Thank you for saying what I was thinking! My sil is due next month, she is all about the baby gear/nursery decorating/maternity photos/newborn photos, but when you talk about the delivery/child birth...she turns pale and terrified. Welcome to parenthood! It's not all about the gear/cutesy stuff. It's like people who put more focus on the wedding and not the marriage. Ugh. Thanks for letting me vent!

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  15. Anonymous09:23

    We had someone do the gender reveal during a holiday. We were so special, we got to see the unveiling multiple times! They opened a box with a doll, dressed in the gender specific clothing. They did this at each gathering. However, at the last party, before the unveil, one of them slipped and revealed the gender before they opened the box...and they were called out on it.

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  16. Whatever happened to a baby coming out of your vagina and oh surprise!... "it's a boy" or "it's a girl?" I did that three times and didn't get a cake for it. Boy did I get gypped!

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    1. Anonymous13:50

      I did that for my first. The second, we decided to find out the gender because I wanted to know if I had to keep all the girl crap or go out and buy boy clothes (sadly nobody threw me a second baby shower sniff sniff). Crib stuff and baby gear was all gender neutral so I was good there. But I absolutely did not throw a party to reveal the sex of the baby. It was more like... "Wow, how 'bout those Red Sox this year? And the weather has been just great! Oh, by the way, it's a boy this time around." End of story.

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  17. OK, I think it's wonderful that expectant parents want to share every moment of this new experience of their lives with every family member, friend, peer at work, the boss, the friend from high school, the stalker.... STOP!!!!! (screeching brakes). Are you the only people that have EVER had a child? Are you the only people that are going to find out the species of your spawn? Get over it. There is too much technology available to let every Tom, DICK & Jane know what's going to happen in your life. I'm dating myself but 20 years ago, we didn't have this stuff and we all turned out fine and our kids are growing into fine adults. Trust me, when ALL your friends have started to having the same parties as you did (coz your were the first!) you will get sick of it pretty quick. Keep the mystery. That's what it's all about.

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  18. Anonymous09:29

    I never knew this existed until last week, when I saw the FB pictures. WTF is happening? This ranks right up there with the Christmas newsletter, in my book. No one really gives a shit, and I'm tapped out of gift money.

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  19. I am 60 years old and had my children a long time ago. I have not been blessed yet with grands but I can tell you I will be the most wonderful Nana. However, I think the idea of a reveal party (which I first heard about maybe two months ago) is a FUN idea! Of course, I am always ready to party! I disagree that only the parents and grandparents are interested in the gender. I think that anybody who loves you is interested!

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    1. It's unfair to imply that you don't love the mother to be or that you aren't interested in the sex of the baby just because you think the party is a stupid idea. You can think the party is dumb and still love the mother and care about the sex of the baby.

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    2. Judge,

      That wasn't what she was saying at all. Chillax.

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    3. LDH,

      I'm very relaxed. Thanks for asking.

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    4. get a grip lady, no one gives a shit, other then family...and that lasts a minute or so.

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  20. Shelley in So. IL09:35

    Hey, any chance to get together with my girlfriends, have cake, and some adult bevera....wait. Nevermind.

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  21. Don't even get me started on all the restrictions on what I can bring you for your meal. If you are genuinely allergic to something that's one thing but more and more I'm seeing things like this:

    "Boopsie doesn't care for tomatoes so please don't bring anything with them in it. Also, Boopsie's in laws and cousins are in town so please bring enough for 10 adults."

    How about just appreciating the fact that I'm bringing you a dang meal.

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  22. Anonymous09:38

    I've only been to one of these...and it was my cousin's, and I thought it was really cute. It was kind of thrown together at the last minute and we had a blast - just family and close friends. Not sure why everyone is so bitter about them. Just decline the invitation if you don't want to go. I'm not so busy that I can't drop by my cousin's house for a plate of take out lasagna and a glass of wine and watch her cut a cake, and be genuinely happy and excited for her. Sorry...I can't jump on this PIWTPITT bandwagon.

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  23. Personally I couldn't care less about the gender reveal parties. Thankfully I am not friends with anyone that I could ever see throwing one. This just reeks of early stages of an OAM and a Douchey-Dad. What drives me crazy are the losers who know and won't tell. Eg:

    Me: Oh hey Julie! How's the pregnancy going? You look great!

    Julie: It's going super well! I've finally stopped puking every 10 minutes, and now I am at the stage where I am crying into my bag of dorritos at Halmark commercials. PLUS... we found out the gender last week!

    Me: Oh really? What are you having?

    Julie: Oh, we're not telling it's a surprise!

    Me: To whom? Let me share a little secret with you Julie. No one else, besides you and your husband, (and even he's a stretch)cares. So you can keep your smug little secret, and I can go on with my day not giving a crap about what you're having. I was only asking to be polite when you opened the topic up.

    THAT drives me nuts. Some pregnant people are so smug, and it makes me want to step on their face.

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    Replies
    1. Please google 'Pregnant Women are Smug' by Garfunkel and Oates. You're welcome.

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    2. LMAO!! Thanks!

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    3. Love that song.

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    4. I love babies and pregnant people and all, but the song is just hilarious. Also I agree about the surprise. Unless you're harvesting a brontosaurus in there, it's not really a surprise anyone cares about.

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    5. i tried keeping the gender of my second child a "surprise", because it was the first boy grandchild after a bunch of girls. so obviously all the grandparents cared. and the only reason i (tried) to keep it a surprise from other people, such as those that i work with is that we live in a very small town and i didn't want our parents to find out from someone other than me or my husband. i emphasize "tried" though, because hubby can't keep his danged mouth shut :-). but i also never waved it in anyone's face that we found out the gender BECAUSE i didn't want anyone to ask.

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  24. Anonymous09:44

    I must be pretty fucking special. I haven't had a party since I was 15 and I'm 34! Of course, I'm not married and don't have children, but if that should happen, I probably wouldn't want to have one. Well, maybe I would have one for the baby, because the support would be great, but parties make me uncomfortable! I can't believe that a lot of women set these parties up for themselves. It's so narcissistic. It's sadder that they don't seem to value themselves at a level that matters and like one of the readers said, they don't have a clue what to do with their children once they reach puberty. I'm a nanny and have seen this all too often! So many of these parents are wounded, not feeling special to their own parents, so they have their own kids, celebrating them with personalized M&Ms, monthly reports on how often they poop, roll over and say "Mama" even though it's just babbling. I just left a job after 18 months where the father was afraid to give his 21 months old a bath, because he was afraid they would drown. God help those children!!! It's sad that the family is miserable behind closed doors, but they do everything that they perceive that society expects of them and everyone around them conspires to believe the lie! It was bringing me down. So I left! Onto my next job with two dads! society has already given them hell, so there's got to be more humility and substance, I hope!

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    1. Ugh! I hate the poop updates! My oldest is potty training but I refuse to post her bowel habits on Facebook (although I am tempting to post mine just to prove how stupid and annoying it is).

      There's one mom "friend" who posts updates every.single.day. I am surprised she hasn't taken a photo of her kid's shit and posted it on FB.

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    2. Anonymous10:27

      Luckily, those parents hate social media. Zzzzzzz... The mom would send out a monthly update and boast and exaggerate. I think I exaggerated about the poop, but it's inline with the "who cares?" thought that people have about the most minor details. I can't believe people post that shit daily on FB! The only ones I've seen are when parents are happy that the kid starts using the potty him/herself. I think that warrants a FB post! On a side note, have you ever read, Running With Scissors? There is a part in there where the psychiatrist analyzes his and his family's poop. He thinks the shape, color and size is a message from god! It's like palm reading, but poop reading!

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    3. Mama Mia15:03

      When I was potty training I wouldn't give poop updates. I would get on Facebook and ask for tips on how to train and donations of either Xanax or vodka.
      When I was done, I still asked for the donations...

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    4. Anonymous, I'll have to check that book out.

      And just moments ago, this same mom posted a video of her daughter on the potty. WTF??

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    5. I have one of those mom *neighbors* who I finally had to hide from Facebook. I was not really interested in a daily update about how many hours the child slept. Another neighbor of mine has been joking with me about the sure-to-come poop photos! LOL!

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  25. If we ever decide to have another, we might do something like this for just US, me and the hubs...have a nice dinner out, have the reveal in the envelope to open before dessert or something like that. Make it special for just for US not every person we ever met in our lives since kindergarten.

    Why does every moment in everyone's life have to be a public event? What happened to just sharing a private moment with your significant other?

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  26. OH. MY. GAWD! That was so unbelievably fricking funny! I think.. I just pee'd myself!

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  27. Anonymous09:51

    Try reading every detail of pregnancies, reveal parties and your children's lives when you're suffering from infertility. Of course you don't put that on Facebook so nobody knows, and doesn't understand why you're not super excited about every single post. UGH!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Allison10:14

      I'm sorry, that does sound rough. I'm single and I really want kids so I understand a fraction of your pain- because it seems like every other week a facebook friend is knocked up (or getting married, love those too). :( Hope your struggles result in happiness! Keep your chin up!

      Delete
    2. Anonymous13:14

      I was going to post the same comment. All of the showers, reveal parties, fb updates, sonogram pictures, etc. are a million times harder when you're dealing with infertility. We don't discuss it with most people, so they don't know that it's not pleasant for me to have to go to their party to eat pink or blue cupcakes. At least I'll know better than to put other people through these stupid parties. Not that I would ever throw one in the first place.

      I hope that things get better for you!

      Delete
    3. Anonymous21:03

      Thank you for saying that! I too am in the same boat and have caught hell for not properly gushing in excitement over one of these parties.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous23:04

      Thank you for your honesty. I'm 39, single, no kids, and no prospects, and sometimes I just don't want to hear one.more.fucking.word about a shower, sprinkle, or whatever. I LOVE children and I want one or two myself but since that is not - and may never be - my reality it sometimes feels like all the baby talk is being thrown in my face.

      Sometimes it's good to have bipolar disorder. I get to miss out on stuff just by saying "I'm feeling a little off today" or "today just isn't a good day". Since my friends know what "off" looks like they usually coo me off the phone and probably thank God I'm keeping that shit at my house. And I'm thanking God I don't have to ooh and ahh over one.more.fucking.onesie. Just saying.

      Delete
  28. Anonymous10:01

    Great, now I want a melted Snickers. Preferably on top of ice cream though, not in a diaper.

    ReplyDelete
  29. You tell 'em, sister. I refused to find out the gender when I was pregnant with my son because a) I can't keep a secret; b) I didn't want all pink or blue gifts; and c) I sort of enjoyed blowing people's minds when they asked if it was a boy or a girl. Why do you care, random stranger on the street? Will you be changing his/her diaper? I didn't think so. Anyway, it seems to me that having a big gender reveal party is stepping on the toes of the regular baby shower, and seems just a tad too narcissistic for my tastes. And I have a blog all about myself, so take that as you will.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Beth Robinson10:06

    This is awesome and so true! My kids are older (12, 14 and 17)... I knew the gender of my younger 2, but no parties. Also, I had a baby shower for my oldest and that was IT! All 3 used the same crib, blankets, room decor etc... and they have all turned out fine. I'm now hearing about "birthing gifts" too... really? Now you get a fricking gift for popping out the baby that is SUPPOSED to come out? Didn't get that either and we're still married! LOL Everything is not an event.. you don't deserve a party or a gift or money or an award b/c you are doing something millions of women do everyday! We are quickly becoming a country with no humility and no understanding of being humble. Oh, let's just go back to simpler times-where you had 1 baby shower, a few birthday parties here and there and not everyone goes home with a prize or an award.... it's much easier on the wallet too! LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've never understood the birthing gifts either. Isn't the baby that gift? Then you have mother's day every May, where you receive gifts every year for doing what you are supposed to do. That being said, I would not have told my husband to return the gift...

      Delete
  31. personally, I love the ideas of these parties... who doesn't like an excuse to eat cake that someone else pays for? Bring it on, blue, pink, whatever - give me some of that cake!

    ReplyDelete
  32. These parties are lame, but I AM having a big ass party when I get snipped. I don't care what anyone thinks, that's a reason to throw a damned party.

    Plus it was part of the agreement negotiated with my wife.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would throw parties for lots of people if they got snipped...

      Delete
    2. Aria Cole Asher14:28

      Too funny! Now THAT'S a party I would attend... I'm sure there would be a lot of free flowing booze : )

      Delete
    3. kneehighchaos516:27

      That is AWESOME. If my husband would agree to get snipped, I'd throw him a party too. I might even spring for strippers.

      Delete
    4. I should have negotiated harder.

      Delete
  33. Anonymous10:20

    Never heard of a gender party. Wouldn't have one either. Don't post tummy pics or ultrasound pics online or updates on my pregnancies. I don't figure it really interests others that much. Those it does interest, I share with, the rest, I leave in peace.

    But holy crap. I also don't get my knickers in a twist about such stupid stuff. I save my irrate vents for things like child abuse and neglect, injustice, poverty, America's shitty health care system and all those sorts of, well, you know, *important* things. Reading through the responses here, if you all get this wound up about what other people do that *hurts no one*, how do you react to the really important stuff? Blood pressure medication, anyone?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. While I can't speak for everyone, I will speak for what I am sure is a large portion of the rest us. This is all in good fun. No one is actually going to get punched in the throat. It's a silly rant about a silly topic. The only one with their knickers twisted seems to be you. Most everyone else is getting a morning giggle over something completely harmless. Relax. :)

      "So you were offended by something you read on the internet? ...You must be new here." -Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka internet meme.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous11:10

      "I only get mad about the really important things in life!"....never heard that before.

      Delete
    3. One I recently saw, says, "Announcing, 'I'm offended' is basically telling the world that you can't control your own emotions, so everyone else should do it for you."

      In context.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous, are you new here?

      Kate, that is awesome.

      Delete
    5. Anonymous20:05

      Um....I was being sarcastic....

      Were you seriously asking me that?

      Delete
  34. We had one of these a month ago. We only invited family, kids were welcome and we focused on the baby for about 10 minutes. Who doesn't love an excuse to pig out and chat?! I do agree that some people go totally insane over these things. This is our last kiddo so we wanted to enjoy every minute of it! ;)

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  35. Emily11410:28

    Hahaha. I love it! I find out the sex of my baby in about 3 weeks, and someone asked me if I was going to do this. My response was, "I work 40 hours a week, come home to a house that needs to be cleaned, a dog that wants to be played with, a husband who wants attention and dinner that needs to be cooked. But sure, I'll take time out of my already busy life to bake a damn blue or pink cake for you to cut open. Why not?" My friends will be getting a mass text from me when I find out the gender. Only my parents and siblings will warrant an actual phone call. Lol. You also won't find a single "baby bump" picture of me on Facebook or any of those ridiculous Baby Gaga updates. I don't need the entire world knowing when my stretch marks might start to appear or how bad my acid reflux is. Some things are better left to the imagination.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. or my personal fav, "my baby is drinking it's pee!" Are you seriously proud of that?!?

      Delete
    2. Emily11414:21

      Hahaha. I remember seeing that on a friend's update and almost losing my lunch. I don't even need to know that about my own baby.

      Delete
  36. I didn't know that people threw entirely separate parties for this kind of thing. I thought that people either included this in their baby showers or did it at some sort of an event with just their immediate families. I actually like the gender reveal ideas for the latter example, because it gives the parents-to-be, grandparents-to-be, and aunts/uncles-to-be the excitement and element of surprise without actually having to wait for the birth. Then they can enjoy the surprise, and then go about making their preparations with the baby's gender in mind. These kinds of reveals are family affairs to me though because of all the points you made above... :-)

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  37. It had to be said, Jen.

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  38. I think you said it best when you said that only the parents of the unborn child and maybe the grandparents care what the sex of the child is. I could give to craps if you are having a boy or a girl. It makes me crazy when I ask someone what they are having and they say, "we are not telling!" WTF? They know, but they are keeping the secret from me? It doesn't change my life if they have a boy or girl, so why keep it from me? People are becoming so self absorbed that they get kicks out of making everyone squirm for 6 months wondering what is going to pop out of them. Let me just say, no one is squirming, because no one cares. It just makes you look like a conceded idiot. I will say with my 3 child I wanted to find out the sex because we already had two boys and I wanted to know if it was a girl. So instead of finding out at the ultrasound we had her write it down and put it in an envelope. We then went out to a nice dinner by ourselves and asked the waitress to take the envelope and bring out choc cake if it was a boy and creme brulee if it was a girl. It was a fun way for us to find out, and helped ease the blow that we were having another boy. :) We had fun with it but didn't expect our family/friends to participate in our stupid little thing. We did it for us. Loved your post! Thanks for saying what a lot of us want to say!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Anonymous11:38

    I think for our next kid,if we have one. We might do a gender/pregnancy announcement dinner thing with immediate family only. But we won't be having a shower since it would be our 4th baby, and really don't need anything but a new carseat.

    ReplyDelete
  40. I TOTALLY agree!!!!! Our society has taken the extreme in making every day life an "EVENT". What happened to a simple, happy life? My life is busy enough with my own kids than to throw in ONE more event, even if free food and booze is included.

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  41. Ok, I agree this is just asinine.If you wanna do something at your baby shower like that, more power to you, but this is just PRE-OAM.
    Oh and the other thing what's the big deal with keeping the name a secret? Do you really think someone is going to steal you stupid fucking name? and so what if they do. Maybe I'm a weirdo but I hate nothing more than people that name their children stupid shit. I'm all for interesting & unique names but shit like Monoxide & Mayflower.(http://www.stupidkidnames.com/) I mean COME ON! Give me a damn break.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I never understood the secret name thing, either, until a friend recently told me his reason: people are less likely to criticize the name after it's born, since at that point, you're insulting the baby, not just the parents.

      Delete
    2. I agree that people may criticize less after they are born, to your face. At least if you tell me before you have the baby I will criticize it to your face. Just because someone isn't criticizing it to your face doesn't mean they are not saying horrible things behind your back. I guess what I am saying is, when I named my kids I could give too craps what anyone thought of their names. They were my kids and I have to live with them and I am going to do what I want. These people that say they are not going to tell the name are just attention seekers. If you truly do not want people to know the name, do us all a favor and just tell us you don't know yet. Then the conversation ends there.

      Delete
  42. Oh I wish this douchetastic idea was around when I was preggers. I would have loved to cut the cake to reveal a deep, dark chocolate. My husband and I are both vanilla! Aww yeah... what a delicious scandal!! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  43. Anonymous12:28

    If we ever have another child, the only peeps that will go through this maniacal process would be my hubby and the kidlet. And the only reason I would make them suffer through this maniacal process is so I can have cake. Because cake is good. Everyone else can look at the status update I would be sure to post on Facebook.

    This is, of course, assuming that the second child would be willing to show off his/her junk to the ultrasound tech, since the first kidlet decided to moon us at both ultrasounds...

    ReplyDelete
  44. I feel inadequate as a mom already and then to find out I missed throwing a party about the sex of my babies.....Gasp! Seems to me the only time this should ever occur is after you have had like 10 boys and the 11th is a girl. Then again I did not have any baby showers or a wedding, so i am not much of a "Look at ME!" person!

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  45. Anonymous12:50

    I'm a baker, and even I would turn down a job for this! MY BFF had her first son 10 years ago and wouldn't have even had a shower if I hadn't planned it (we ended up with a super casual, mixed-gender, alcohol-heavy BBQ). She's now expecting her (surprise) 2nd son, and even though she doesn't have anything from her first pregnancy (b/c she didn't think there would be a 2nd!) she still won't be having a reveal party or shower or anything like that. Her 10 year old hasn't even ever had a real birthday party, and you know what, he doesn't care!! he's been to other parties and still doesn't care to have his own (he just wants the gifts, which people send anyway).

    my issue is less about taking the time to attend all these parties and more about the expected gifts. I'm a single, happily child-free gal who cannot afford to buy little Kayden or Jazmin a gift for every freakin milestone!

    ReplyDelete
  46. No wonder this new generation is so fat and stupid...their moms are all eating blue and pink dyed cake while in utero. That can't be good for brain development. Or something like that.

    ReplyDelete
  47. I am on the opposite end of this. My hubby & I are not finding out what we are having (for the 3rd time) & it drives people nuts. It is amazing the comments I get about us waiting. Sorry, it is a surprise at some point when you find out, we just want to wait until the end to be surprised. I even tell people that I had an amnio so there is absolutely no doubt about the sex, we just don't know. I know people who basically know everything about their baby before the baby gets here. Scheduled C-section (day & time), gender, name and of course the 3D ultrasound so they know what the baby will look like. That route is not for us. I didn't even make my pregnancy "Facebook official" until I was 20 weeks along.

    ReplyDelete
  48. winecey13:34

    I couldn't agree with you more!!!! I am a 59 year old gmother and a retired teacher! I watch my 2 year old grandson....who was introduced to the Christmas elf b/c his ggrandmother bought him one! We did hide him around the house before Christmas...he's sitting in the cupboard now...Jack saw him in there the other day and didn't even comment. These OAMs and OAGMs and OAsoontobemoms have to constantly one up eachother and make every single moment in their little one's lives a freaking EVENT!!!! Hey, don't get me wrong...I love to throw a party, but I always fall short in the area of 'fun for kids', even though I was an elementary school teacher for 35 years. And guess what, there are overachieving teachers, too, who make their classrooms look like Mickey Mouse vomited up Disney World in it! Keep your baby's gender to yourselves if you choose to find out. Frankly, both of my daughter's were just fine in their pastel yellow and green sleepers for the first few days of their lives...and then the pink started coming in. (And the first thing I asked for when I got home from the hospital with number 1 was a gin and tonic...and know, I didn't breast feed ;)

    ReplyDelete
  49. StephHC13:39

    I totally agree! I am one and done and had a hysterectomy in March. I love hearing that my friends are pregnant BUT I do not want to hear every freaking detail about it. I had a horrible pregnancy and my daughter was 7 weeks premature. I usually cant relate to them and probably will not be able to relate.
    Throwing a huge party to find out the gender is just too over the top. It was just my husband and me in the ultrasound room when we found out. It was a great intimate family moment. We celebrated by going to Chic Fil A. I love that we did it that way...

    ReplyDelete
  50. I wanted no part in throwing a big party for my second child's gender but since both sets of grandparents live out of state, I thought it would be fun to order very small cakes for each of them, have them pick them up at their local grocery store and that's how they found out the gender. No way would I have done this for anyone except the grandparents. Also, we currently have the only grandchild and this next one will be the 2nd on both sides so everyone is pretty excited in our family. I announced it on facebook by showing a video of us telling our 3 year-old daughter she was getting a baby brother and her screaming "No, I don't want a baby brother, I want a sister" and eventually walking off camera. Hilarious to us and more fun I thought for everyone that would see it online. No party needed, esp for the second child. Craziness.

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  51. I agree with the commenter who said this is the beginning of the OAMs. Personally, I blame Pinterest for the "gender reveal ideas" that are splashed out to the common people and letting them try their hand at being over-achieving parents (OAPs).
    I never knew such parties existed until I started reading about them on blogs. If your blog post starts with a picture of you opening a giant box of either pink or blue balloons, I'm going to scroll right past it. Do I want to know what you're having? Absolutely. Do I want to know the names you've picked out? Sure. But do I want to look at 2 dozen pictures of "mystery" cupcakes? Not even a little bit.

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  52. We had a big gender reveal. You know where? Flat on my back in the ultrasound room. Look! Two peni! Boys! And then I puked. It was certainly an occasion to remember.

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  53. I wish there was a "like" button on your posts! They're always good for a chuckle - or sometimes, a full on belly laugh!

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  54. These are parties for people who will eventually be featured on this blog: www.stfuparentsblog.com

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  55. Life is tough. I wholeheartedly believe in celebrating everything- even the little things! I love parties (and cake!) Springing for an extra small present isn't going to break most people's bank, and if it would, I am SURE most mothers-to-be understand.

    I think it gets complicated when there is pressure to attend all of these parties. If you can't go, it should be okay! I really think that is where the problem lies. But hey- if people are excited to share their pregnancy news AND are doing it in sugary frosted goodness form- stop complaining!

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  56. Our 'reveal party' went something like this. My husband and I go to the ultrasound and find out we are having a girl. We head home to pick up my then 6 year old son from school. I am divorced from his dad, and his dad and step-mom had just announced to him that they were having a girl 2 weeks prior. Desperate for a brother, we knew my son would be disapointed. We decided to break the news over ice cream. We told him he with big smiles on our faces that hewas getting a 2nd sister - he then went into a tirade about how 'those tests can be wrong' and that 'doctors aren't perfect and can make msitakes'. I didn't bother with untrasound pictures - he was clearly scarred for life. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I laugh. But awww, poor little buddy.

      Delete
  57. I do want to have a gender reveal party, but it will just be a small gathering with our families so they can all find out at once. It has been very hard for us to get pregnant (and we're still trying) so we want to celebrate as much as we can when we are finally successful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just because you do though doesn't mean everyone does. I had a hard time as well, but did not hail people to multiple events to indulge our narcissism or urge to celebrate.

      Delete
  58. Well said! I already have to go to a baby shower, a hospital visit, a "welcome home baby" high tea and a naming ceremony ... is another "event" really necessary?

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  59. LMBO! I completely agree! Doesn't this fall into the same category as ENGAGEMENT PARTY?...just another "give me a present and tell me how wonderful i am, make an event of it" party?

    ReplyDelete
  60. Hmmm...I think I need to have an "I'm fat not pregnant" party and serve lots of super yummy food with plenty of alcohol and enough designated drivers to get everyone home safely. Of course, my party might be the cause of baby showers a few months later. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  61. Anonymous20:10

    Agree with most all said.

    It add to the fun......I had 5 babies and did not even get a "push present".

    My teenage boys just heard of this on tv and asked if got anything. My answer "Why yes, I get each of you!! Who could ask for anything more" AND I meant it.

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  62. Haha. I thought I was the only one.

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  63. Anonymous20:46

    AMEN! I am so sick of everything baby! These cray cray people taking naked maternity pics and posting them on facebook, gender reveal parties, every friggin thing about their pregnancies posted for all....WE DON'T CARE!!! My sister (who bugged the crap out of me to find out what I was having from day one)decided she wouldn't find out what she was having because she wanted it to be a surprise...um isn't a surprise no matter when you find out? Then she made us all wait 3 or 4 hours after the birth before we were allowed to know what gender the baby was. She also waited a few days after the birth to name the little tyke. It was a boy just in case you were wondering. ANNOYING!

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  64. Eileen21:26

    ABSOLUTELY YES! Thank you for saying it. I am SO glad my friends are pretty much done having babies b/c I don't think I could handle this again and again. However, my sil recently had her 2nd girl and we did have to endure a family-only gender reveal party. Which was awesome. My 3 boys got to pull strings on a party store pinata until the pink rubber ducky fell out. Surprise! Thanks, now my kids get bags full of nasty candy (didn't even spring for the good stuff) AND we know what we already figured would happen. You're having a baby. It's a girl. Woo hoo.

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  65. Geezus, Louisezus, seriously? Gender reveal parties? What next? How stupid and who cares? The only people who care are the parents and grandparents. Just so ego centric to center a party around this stuff. People are such self important douches.

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  66. Anonymous23:01

    A separate party seems silly, but whatever. If it makes you happy and I have the time, energy and money to play with you, I will.

    There was a previous comment about 2nd showers. For sure, I agree that all showers are a bit much but a nice way to celebrate a friend and 2nd ones are unnecessary but my head tilted when someone said, "you are having a child of the same sex - it's your fault that you had the kid in the wrong season."

    What the what?

    My word that is harsh. Not only do you need to be in the normal range of fertile for this commenter. . . you have to be within a season!

    Where I live, it's pretty flippin extreme. I have a June baby and a February baby (sorry, not so accurately fertile) and they are different genders, but even if they weren't, there is no way the clothes would work.

    It's been 100 degrees here daily for the past few weeks. In February, it can be minus 10.

    I am going on and on, I just think that it's pretty harsh to come down on someone for having kids in different seasons.

    Sheesh.

    Sometimes,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's not exactly what was said, you did not read that the right way. It's my friend who is throwing her own shower and her 1st child isn't even 2 years old. Why is it now her friends' responsibility to provide for her 2nd baby when she chose to only have pink stuff the 1st time around? We have plenty of friends who are going, but I choose not to. The 2nd comment (by someone else) was made joking in reply to mine in regards to the seasons - you missed the sarcasm there. I live in a climate where we can go from a winter coat one day to shorts the next and I am not asking, nor expecting anyone to provide for my upcoming offspring. I keep being asked if I'm having a shower or sprinkle or even a diaper party and my reply is flat out NO. I have all the basic stuff, most of which I got at my shower 8 years ago and have kept even though my youngest is 4. I have clothes aplenty if I have a boy, if I have a girl, I have enough neutral clothing and will buy my own.

      Delete
  67. Rebekah23:09

    Why can't these people just do like every other self respecting parent-to-be and post a grainy picture of your unborn child's penis or vagina on Facebook and call it a day?

    ReplyDelete
  68. Oddly enough, more people care than you would think, you just don't know that until you don't know what you're having. I just had my first and didn't find out what we were having beforehand. You wouldn't believe how many people commented about they wanted me to find out just so they could know. Like I gave a rat's ass. I was so sick of people asking me what I was having and then when I was finding out (after I said, "We don't know.") That I finally started telling people, "Well, we're 100% sure it's not a zebra and pretty certain it WILL be a girl or boy."

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  69. Whateves...if people wanna throw a little thing for family, I am cool with that, though I don't get it. Once I mass texted my mom, MIL, etc I just posted it on FB (and I even drug that out too much). I agree that pregnant women deserve to have their "moment" announcing and crap but over the top is over the top sometimes less is more. (ie. weather, blah blah, sports, blah blah, I'm having a girl....much more shocking than anticipating a party for 3 months.)

    Here is my thing.....it's freaking 50/50, it's either a boy or a girl, its not like there are 40 different possibilities and everyone is on pins and needles to find out...it's one or the other. I just never get the sheer tension in people wanting to know, other than the family and close friends.

    Anyways, it was a great, funny read and as always, love the comments!
    Devan

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  70. I have 2 things to say to anyone who invites me to a gender reveal party: 1)Get over yourself. 2) Spare me.

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  71. Anonymous10:02

    I did one at work at just brought a cake and gave everyone one. Any thing that makes us not work for 5 minutes is awesome! lol.

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  72. It's funny that you would choose to blog about this topic now...we found out what our first little spawn will be this past Monday. Prior to the ultrasound my hubs was joking that we should throw a "sex" party with all our friends. That would be interesing, smh! I also had several friends ask if i was having a gender reveal and I took pride in telling them that people have babies everyday & I don't have enough time to even pick out something to wear to this OAM event! There was no posting on FB because I just told the people who actually care which may have been 5...:)

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  73. Is a gender reveal party in additional to a baby shower? Because I only have about 75 minutes in me to care. Pick wisely. Aso, I second or third the girls who required alcohol. I'm not pregnant so why should I have to suffer? Isnt it enough I'm here for stupid poop games?

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  74. Too funny. I blogged about the exact same thing last week

    http://storytobecontinued.blogspot.ca/2012/07/really.html

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  75. I'm so glad that there is someone out there who says exactly how I feel. Right now I have this facebook "friend" who is pregnant with her first baby and every. little. thing. is being shared on fb. Each week we are blessed with a picture of her bump, along with her saying things like, "I swear it's bigger in person!" and then people comment, "You're so cute!" Every. Week.

    Today was her baby shower and you'd think it was a freakin' red carpet event. Seriously...who needs monogrammed cookies that commemorate your baby shower? Apparently she did. I only know this because it was posted on fb.

    The only thing they haven't shared is what they are going to name their baby, but oh lucky us! We got a clue because they told us the first letter. Well thank goodness...now I can narrow down my guesses.

    It all just makes me want to scream. Get over yourself, people! You're. Not. Special.

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  76. This is a fucking thing?!

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  77. the first time i heard about this type of "event" was from a friend of mine who mentioned she was driving 3 hours to attend said event. my first thought upon hearing this news was "woah! i had no idea *sally had a friend who recently had a sex change!". these "events" will forever be called "coming out parties"...at least in my head (and maybe sometimes out loud)...and so i will never attend such an event as i will surely offend the poor mother to be's mother in law or grandmother in law or something.

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  78. Anonymous12:48

    I know someone who decided to turn her friend's bridal shower into a gender reveal party for herself! How self absorbed!

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  79. Anonymous12:46

    Sounds familiar....my supposed best friend revealed that she was pregnant at my bridal shower!
    some best friend, eh?

    ReplyDelete
  80. Anonymous02:20

    I agree with you, Jen.

    Why do we need to add these parties to the already long list of "Look at Me" activities? Anyone that cares about the baby and the parents will be happy regardless of the sex of the baby. People have lives and are busy. To think that your 50/50 chance of having a boy or a girl is cause to have your loved ones give up a day for you is self-centered.

    And for the people that say the parties are OK because they don't want gifts....people will think they have to bring gifts, or will bring gifts anyway. Thats what you do when you go to a party-you bring the host a gift. It's rude to show up empty-handed.

    I dislike all the websites and Pinterest boards with Gender Reveal Party Ideas. People are trying to one-up each other and go overboard. Invitations, really? You really need a printed invitation to this event? The focus is more on the decorations, cake, drinks, etc than the baby. If your loved ones wont come without fancy food and drinks....you have to ask yourself if the event is necessary anyway.

    Why all the sex guessing games at these parties? Its about a 50/50 chance! And the guesses are not based of anything, so it's just really stupid. And please stop releasing balloons into the air to announce the sex! Don't we all know that is bad for the environment?

    I would never go to one of these parties. It may be a "cute" idea, and I understand people may be excited to find out the sex of the baby, but please consider others time and feelings. I have many friends who have been unable to conceive and it is heartbreaking for them to see the big deal people make over these parties.

    Instead of a baby shower, I am having my friends and family donate baby items to a children's charity and will ask them to volunteer for the charity for a few hours. While there are many baby things I need, there are many people who need them more than me. I don't need the attention. I am far from the first woman in the word to have a baby. People being happy for me is all I need.

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  81. Stupid! A baby's gender shouldn't be revealed until birth. It pisses everyone off to not know if you're having a boy or a girl, it's a baby. I can guarantee its not a puppy.

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  82. I'm revealing my baby gender at the baby shower. I am combining the two; but to have a two separate parties that is just a waste of money. At the same time, people in this world do a lot of stupid shit, doesn't meant we should go around judging everyone. That is whats wrong with america now, mind you business and let people do what they want. If you don't want to know don't go. Simple.

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  83. Jen - they have ultrasound parties, too. you hire a technician to wheel in their machine and lay there with your shirt up in front of all your guests so they can ooh and ahh over it as its shown on your big screen tv while they eat finger sandwiches and yet another cake. wtf. I bet that's interesting for up to five minutes.

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  84. Remember when Sex & the City did a topic related to this? Carrie was all irritated that all the "smug married" got to throw party after party, and you were expected to buy a gift for each one... and the ladies who stayed single got jack shit. One of my fave episodes!

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  85. The cake is cute, but yeah, a separate party is too much. If this idea had been around when I had my boys, I could totally see me doing this as a way to share the news with my co-workers. We needed very little excuse to bring in cakes!

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  86. Can we also say that you shouldn't have a baby shower for EACH kid you have? or bridal showers for EVERY wedding you have? You get stuff at your first shower. Subsequent kids you have should get the hand me downs.

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  87. Dude. My gender reveal party was called "the birth." And I've had one of each, and trust me, it was surprising and exciting and all that jazz when the little hoo-ha or weener made it's debut in real time. I also skipped the baby shower, and had one big ass party after each kid was born. Where I served shittons of food (full of dairy and gluteny and spicy goodness), in addition to an ample supply of liquor and beer.

    And guess what? No one was sick and fucking tired of hearing about the kid for 10 months prior, and thus, the guests were able to muster up some genuine excitement.

    "You're not that special." EXACTLY.

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  88. AGREED! My gender reveal party was calling my parents and saying "hey, you were right, it's a girl." And I was totally against the bump picture and putting the ultrasound up. Because yeah, that's my uterus. No one needs to see that.

    People want a party for everything. If you watch Cake Boss, there's such a thing as an "engagement planner." Seriously, people hire someone to plan out how you're going to propose.

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  89. Why have a party at all? So much can go wrong with the pregnancy. In my culture we celebrate after we know everything is okay.

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  90. How do you feel about the equally painful concept of the SECOND baby shower now named the "sprinkle"? I might agree to this if it is a 10 year gap between kids and a suprise--- but get real-- what it really is --- shakedown of your friends!

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  91. You haters are heartless! What if the said parents tried fro a decade to have a baby ad finally conceived. Have a heart. Its a moment in time you will never get back. if it bothers you so much, then DONT ATTEND the party. To each HIS OWN!

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  92. I totally agree with Jerilynn. My husband and I finally conceived after 6 years and we will be throwing a gender reveal party for our twins....celebrating this beautiful and amazing miracle with those people who have walked with us through this very difficult journey. Maybe I would share the author's opinion if I hadn't gone through infertility. This experience has helped me to be more open minded in general.

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  93. "Now, knock this shit off and get some sleep - you're going to need it."

    Epic advice.

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  94. Oh bahumbug. I'm throwing a gender reveal party for my next pregnancy that will be spectacular. Close friends, cupcakes, and yummy snacks. So what? To each their own. It's a fun thing to do and it's not harming anyone. Relax.

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    1. I totally agree! I feel sorry for the friends of these people who say they "don't give a sh$t about the gender of their friend's baby". Glad I have better friends that do care!

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  95. Thank you for letting me vent vicariously through you for two minutes. Seriously. No one gives a shit.

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  96. i've heard of people throwing gender-reveal baby showers, but not a separate party for the gender reveal. i mean, what would be the point of that?
    but then again, for two out of my three kids, our gender-reveal was called "birth"

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  97. This is why I "announced" my pregnancy on April Fool's Day, and I haven't made any pregnancy-related announcements since (other than emailing my family to let them know he is a boy and that the ultrasounds look good). Everyone was saying, "How can you treat your baby like a joke?" I just answered, "He's really only that important to me and the grandparents. He's just one more of an endless string of facebook notifications to everyone else. Why not have fun?"

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  98. i think this article is so sad. with all of the horrible things in the world, isn't it a nice moment to go to someone's home and celebrate their baby coming, as "unimportant" of an occasion as some may think it is? i still remember the moment the no-nonsense ultrasound boss lady came in after i had to have an early level 2 because of some issues and said matter of factually, "oh, it's a boy." and zoomed in on pax's weenis. there is nothing like learning who your baby is. i get it, parents are obnoxious, me more so than others because i'm obsessed with my kid, but maybe take a moment and enjoy a happy moment.

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