People I Want to Punch in the Throat: What Is That and Where Do You Want to Stick It?

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What Is That and Where Do You Want to Stick It?

The least they could do is make vibrate while it takes the pictures.
My friend Lainey was visiting and we went to lunch so we could brag about our kids (hers is a Mathlete and mine is working on his professional soccer career), complain about our (lovable) husbands and lament about how old we're getting (we've been friends since high school).

Lainey is in the medical field so I always like the regale her with my tales of aches and pains and crappy doctor's visits.  When we met for lunch I'd been to my gynecologist's office the day before to have an ultrasound.

Not your typical drink 80 ounces of water until your bladder is going to burst so we can push on your bladder and see if we can make you pee yourself while we stare at a dark and blurry screen with shapes I can't tell what's heads or tails (literally).

Nope.  I got the pleasure of having a transvaginal ultrasound.  For those of you who haven't been lucky enough to have one, it's a real treat and I think you should request one the next time you visit your gyno.

Who wouldn't want this thing shoved up her hooha?


I arrived at the doctor's office with my bladder full to bursting and the tech said, "Oh you can empty.  We're doing something else."

I had no idea what that meant, but I was grateful I could "empty," because I'm not as good at holding it anymore.  I emptied and then joined her in the ultrasound room.

"Take off all your bottoms and sit on the table, bottom hanging off the edge, feet in stirrups."

WTF?  "Uhh . . . I'm supposed to have an ultrasound," I said.

"Yes, we'll use the wand."

The wand.  More like the foot long probe that could only be designed by a man.  I just read on a website where it said it was similar in size and shape to a "tampon."  Maybe I use itty bitty tampons, but this seems a bit bigger than a tampon.



I followed her instructions and told her I was ready.  I had a disposable sheet draped over my legs.  The tech said, "OK, I'm going to hand the wand to you and I'm going to need you to insert it."

I reached down and she handed that thing to me lubed end first.  I got a handful of condom (yup, they put a condom on it - NOT ribbed for my pleasure) and lube.  I inserted it and tried to go to my happy place while she jabbed and scraped and rammed me.

When I told Lainey the story, she kept nodding and saying "I know!" and "What the fuck am I paying them for if I have to insert it myself???"

When I was done, she told me I was lucky that my only drama was some prodding and jabbing in my lady bits, because she heard about a patient who was accidentally poked in the pooper - and she never said boo.

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102 comments:

Nicole C said...

Ugh. Had one of those - was not fun.

Nicole C said...

Oooh, and this was after an hour long drive w a full bladder to get there... And lots of poking "because I can't find that darn left ovary of yours" - then came the wand and twisting & turning.

AKA Jane Random said...

Being a human is just downright weird sometimes.

Kristin said...

That thing sucks, but if you think that is bad try having a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG)Test - an x-ray where they shove a tube 'up there' & shoot dye through your uterus and Fallopian tubes - by an intern, while being watched by a bunch of med school students AND make sure at the end they say, "oops, I am not sure the computer got it, we may have to do it again." Sometimes I really hate being a lady.

Janice's Blog said...

I had to have one when I was still a virgin and I couldn't get it in nd the guy couldn't help. Most mortifying appointment ever! Wish I could go back as a grown woman and give them hell!

Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 said...

I had that to confirm my pregnancy at 7 weeks, and they did the, um, insertion for me. Now I'm not sure if that means my OB/GYN office is full-service, or the x-ray tech was a creep...

Meredith said...

I had both pregnancies dated AND my mirena confirmed by this lovely device. Thank God my pregnant friend warned me because I assumed an ultrasound meant gel on the belly.. But they did the "insertion". Good times.

Anonymous said...

I've had the (dis)pleasure of the 'curling iron' every 4 weeks for the past 8 months with one more to go! All this to check on a 5 year old c-section scar that has been perfectly fine each and every time. When this baby girl is finally a teenager I don't think I'll ever be able to teach her the fine art of hair curling without visions of a vag wand in her hair....thanks Doc!!

TheJerseyShoreMom said...

And they don't even take you out on a nice date first. Hate that fricken thing!

Michelle Rodgers said...

Laugh Out Loud hilarious. I have people browsing around my yard (I am hosting a yard sale right now) and can you imagine their surprise when I just burst into laughter! I think you may get a few more readers!!

Delusional Moms said...

I got "poked in the pooper" last time I went in... and not by accident. Apparently it's an "once you reach age 40" thing. They squish your boobs and stick a finger up your can. I haven't felt so awkwardly violated since my first boyfriend at age 14.

Sue said...

I've had two of this kind of ultrasound, and the technician only put it on the outside of my kitty cat. It was never inserted. Talk about a violation. And I would NEVER allow a man to do that. Too creepy to be inside my vagina and moving that thing around.

allison said...

I had it in late pregnancy because they had to check the baby's size (her head was low) and thought I was going into labor for the 4 days afterward because I was so sore. It was awful.

KarenS said...

LOL @Poked in the pooper

Cindy Harris Shubert said...

Had the wand experience. Named the wand "Don Wand" (Don Juan reference)and kinda expected lunch or dinner after. I felt like there should have been some woooing,ya know.

Linda said...

Are you pregnant ??? If so, Congrats !!!!!!!

L Carilo said...

YIKES!

Anonymous said...

I've had several - while trying to get pregnant, then while being pregnant and I actually think it is weird to have to insert it yourself. The tech eventually has to "take it in hand" anyway to get all the pictures.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm - when I was pregnant 11 years ago, my first ultrasound was that wand thingy. But my ob/gyn inserted herself - umm I dind't have to do it.

Are you preggo? :)

Cheryl said...

Laugh now, Karen, but being poked in the pooper after 40 isn't the picnic that it sounds like. :) No dinner. No small talk. Oh? I see you're 40 now? Here, let me stick my finger up your pooter hole.

I also had to have the transvag (such a lovely name for it too) for a pregnancy, and to confirm my mirena was still in place. So not fun. But I didn't have to do it myself. Somehow, that would seem more awkward.

Jessie said...

Seriously just got home from having this done.. The tech asked me if i'd prefer to insert myself or have it done for me, then comes the best slip of the tongue ever.. She says some patients enjoy doing it themselves then she turns red and says I meant prefer.. Not enjoy.. Omg.. Lmao.. At least I had something to laugh about.. Lol

LisaS said...

I have had a lot of those, both during early pregnancy and while undergoing fertility treatments. The HSG is a lot worse, mine was painful!
Worse is having one done on day 3 of your "cycle" if you know what that means. Horrifying.

Shannon McDonald said...

I've had this twice. Neither time did they tell me what they were going to do. Even creepier was the fact that I specifically told them I didn't want a male gyno.. so imagine MY surprise when the tech had this thing shoved up there, and in walks the MALE doctor! It felt like violation after violation. Then the jerk had the nerve to send me a bill for his 'observation'. Pretty sure HE should have paid ME after the peep show..

Deanna crazed said...

Had one of those TWICE.. once when I was pregnant and once about 2 years ago when they found an ovarian cyst. NOT fun.

Josie Bisett said...

How about this for being a 'loose' woman... I can't even recall if I've had that particular pleasantry poked up my punani or not - so much other stuff has been in and out of my sacred place over the past three years..I've birthed 3 of them in that space of time... (and my baby brain is pretty bad this morning) maybe there was a magic wand involved in my second pregnancy confirmation... hmmm, I seem to remember being already 12 weeks and the tech jumping back from an unusually large alien being on the screen!!

Amanda said...

I think I would have one question before the Dr started... "Do you drive a stick shift?"

Josie Bisett said...

HAHAHA!

clothespin said...

Anyone who gets the joy of needing chlomid while trying to get pregnant will relate to this but... you aint seen nothing with that thing yet.

The first step into the land of infertility involves taking this lovely mood altering (as in PMS from hell - just what hubs need to get into the mood of babymaking) drug in days 5-10 of your cycle. BUT, because the drug can cause ovarian cysts, which apparently are not good, they insist on knowing if you have any cysts before giving you the drug - each freaking month.

To determine cycsts you get to have that lovely wand and a happy check of your ovaries on days 1, 2 or 3 of your cycle. Yes, while you're bleeding. It's fabulous. And, you get to do it every month while you're trying to make a baby.

Needless to say, my 2 month old will owe me for the rest of her life. It took 5 months of that fun to get her! (Though, she is awfully cute...)

Oh, and just for the record, it really wasn't that bad. But, maybe I had a good doc office...

Anonymous said...

It's awkward either way. I've had those done a bunch of times since I have endometriosis and have had one baby. The "best" part is when the gyno takes the wand back and is holding it up between us while talking to me about what she saw on the screen.

Sarah said...

Sweet baby jeebus. I go to the gyno on Monday and now I'm scared piss-less! Its bad enough the they have to use the little speculum I can't imagine that thing! Holy crap.

leannedra said...

OH! My co-workers are wondering why I'm laughing so freaking hard! Seriously, that's some funny stuff!

Dvora Koelling said...

Yup, I too had the light saber stuck up my hooey. At a teaching hospital, of course, which meant that quite a few lovely interns got to watch me get friendly with the device (which to me looks much like a hand held blender). There's gotta be a better way.

Robyn said...

After three cycles of IUI and three cycles of IVF, the wand is no big deal anymore, but I was a little surprised the first time--although I never had to insert it myself. I lost all sense of modesty through the years of infertility treatments. The HSG sucks, but an endometrial biopsy is absolute torture.

Kerri said...

My husband and I call this "the Bob Barker", had a transvaginal utrasound with all 3 kids. Seriously, we are done having kids because I can not spend more time in an Dr.'s office with one of those up my hooha while hubby repeats "Come on down!" over and over!

Beth said...

I worked with a nurse who had a transvaginal ultraound to confirm her 2nd pregnancy. The tech was young and pretty new and so she was awkwardly explaining what she needed to do and then pulled out the wand. My friend looks at her with a straight face and says: "Oh honey, that's not bad, my husband is way bigger than that!" LOL She said the poor tech turned 5 shades of red!

Tara said...

The worst.

Anonymous said...

I've been undergoing fertility treatments going on a year and a half now. With the exception of a couple months off (I miscarried twice), I have had anywhere between 2 and 5 of these ultrasounds per cycle! At this point, I'm used to them, and the ultrasound tech at my dr's office is great, I know exactly where you're coming from! The first and worst one I ever had though, was in the hospital, in the ER doubled over from a ruptured ovarian cyst, and they did that! OMG, I saw stars!

Shana said...

Yep. Been there. I giggled while she was down there and I'm 43 years old...makes me wonder what they are thinking about...because I KNOW what I was thinking about.

Anonymous said...

these are awful. took me six months to pay for it too since insurance thought it was an unnecessary procedure since the fibroids would go away eventually. They deserve a punch in the face too!!

Anonymous said...

Oh that's hilarious. I've been reading you for awhile as you are funny as hell and happen to only live a few hours from where I live so I know you get the midwest thing. Just had a transvaginal a couple weeks ago. I was told by my main doc they would likely do a pelvic only as long as I had a full bladder. So dammit, I was going to have the fullest bladder possible! When I got there, the tech was like "what are you talking about? You need to have both." She asked me if I wanted to insert myself and I just told her no thank you. Weird enough without you watching me do that.

Stephanie Gibson said...

Just had this done the other day. Im pregnant and im not far enough along to get an ultrasound on the belly. Its def very uncomfortable alot of pressure kinda like a pap smear but not as bad

HamletScrummed said...

I've had one of these-- and I had to have a full bladder for it! Talk about uncomfortable! And my response to your story is, "what the hell is the tech's responsibility if she's making you insert the wand yourself?!?" That's a lame tech! My tech handled everything... Including the pushing on my ovaries and full bladder-- you know, for my added pleasure.

Anna said...

I JUST had this done last week. I asked the girl-- is that a dildo? She said- it just looks like one....Ummm.... if it looks like a duck...I mean dick...

Amanda B said...

I had three of those done in 2 weeks while we were determining if my pregnancy was viable. (It wasn't.) The worst part is when they're searching for the ovaries and they have to move it so far to the side that it feels like your vag is open wide enough to land a plane in it. My vagina is not a fulcrum for your ridiculously long lever, thank you very much.

Jenn said...

Yep, I've been assaulted with these. Shouldn't I get dinner and some drinks first???

Anonymous said...

...and men bitch about a little rectal exam after their 40th birthdays! After we turn 40 we get a rectal poke in addition to all the other indignities we've suffered for 20+ years. Whiners!

Elizabeth W. said...

Kerri... I may have to start calling it that to add more humor to my visits. I think I had 7 in the month of June for some issues I was going through with a pregnancy. Quite a few times the room was packed full of nurses, med students, the doc & my husband..... I would've made a fortune had I charged for that show (& all the others!)
And I agree... Awkward enough without having to "DIY"!!!

Anonymous said...

My first two pregnancies, I had the good old fashioned belly ultrasounds. This time around, I had to have this lovely one, unexpectedly, and my husband and 2 year old were in the room with me (thankfully, my 4 year old was at preschool or she would have flipped out). And thankfully, in my OB's office all the ultrasound techs are ladies.

Little House on the Brook said...

I had one pregnant. They inserted it for me. It was so strange - I almost faked an orgasm just because it felt like what I should do.


Anonymous said...

I've had this done countless times because of infertility and ovarian cysts. When you are taking infertility meds they do this thing while on your period. Now that right there is a joy! To make matters worse, I have an inverted uterus and one ovary "hides" behind my uterus making it very difficult for them to see on the ultrasound so they sometimes move my legs up in the air or down towards the floor to get a better angle. That's always fun.

Nicole Shaw said...

Oh holy hell, poked in the pooper. No. Just no.

I've had a few of these medical grade dildos in my lady cave. Not the best time but way better than a few awkward dates I've had.

Anonymous said...

**retroverted not inverted uterus. Oops!

Dyanne said...

I had this done when I was pregnant with my daughter 14 years ago, and afterwards asked my ob if we should smoke now, which rendered him speechless.

~Mindy~ said...

My very first ultrasound was that one!!! Scared the hell out of me and since my husband was with me (first OB appointment for first child, of course!) he just sat there staring between me and the doctor wondering what the heck was going on! Although as bad as it was - at least I didn't pee on the chair I guess. :-\

Kelly and Sne said...

No, if it was designed by a man it would be big and fat and purple with throbbing veins.

In college I had a boyfriend give me a dildo like that once as a present before we were apart for the Summer... I'm assuming he thought it was a good replica (NOT!).

herroyalwineness said...

Ah, I am fondly remembering my Doctor telling me during my first that he had scheduled an ultrasound so natch I invited my mom along so there we are mom, hubby and me and the doctor whips out the ultrasound dildo. fun times. fun times.

Shelley in So. Illinois said...

I had these every week for my pregnancy. Granted there were four babies, but the first time I was pretty freaked out by the wand. And when you are searching for four babies, it takes a really, really, really long time. As in I brought along a snack and they had to switch technicians half way through, like my vagina was some sort of overnight bus trip and we had to switch drivers.

Sarah said...

The wand was my introduction to all the future violations that were going to happen to me during my pregnancy. The tech didn't need my help to insert it though, that would've just been weird, and I would've insisted on a discount since I had to do it myself. Compared to the forceps that were needed to actually get the kid out, the wand was nothing.

Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous said...

A friend of mine had that done recently and they asked her to put it in herself too. She refused and made them do it, saying she wanted as little to do with it all as possible.

Lea said...

Welcome to the world of infertiles. I actually prefer to insert it myself...I don't know...gives me a way to PRETEND I'm in control.

Hope all is well.

Mama Moo said...

Had one done with each of my pregnancies, definitely awkward, but not as awkward as reminding them I'm allergic to latex. What no latex free condoms?!?!? Nope, they used a damn glove! Noting like seeing it wave at you just before insertion...

The Girl Next Door Drinks and Swears said...

I can't wait to see which of these comments you pick as your favorite. Such an abundance of overshares to choose from!

Marcella said...

I have this done on an annual basis to keep an eye on the fibriods my uterus decided to harbor, like tiny little terrorists waiting to attack. My left ovary is always "hiding" and the tech pretty much tries to birth the fucking wand via an unscapled c-section. It's hella painful. If I'm going to be rammed that hard than at least kiss me on the neck, amirite?

Mandy Rider said...

I had one of those stuck so far up me I finally told her that my tonsils had been gone for years so she could quit looking.

Lisa said...

HAHA! This about made me pee my pants! Between my miscarriages and then infertility issues I have had at LEAST 30 of these in the last 8 years! NO LIE! Half of the techs that have administered them have me insert the wand, half just cram it in themselves. On top of that, my doctor has a new nurse every two months! It has become a common joke with my friends that I have only had one person in my almost 32 years cut my hair but I can't keep count of the number of people that have jammed a rod in me! Thanks for helping me laugh about it!

Anonymous said...

I had this with both my pregnancies. All in all, I really didn't think it was that big of a deal. I'd take it any day over the metal vise they stick in the who-hah to open your cervix. Who knows...maybe I just have a big vagina?

LuLu said...

First time I had the pleasure of one of these things being rammed into my junk I was 15 and a virgin. They told me the same tampon BS, but I'm pretty sure that thing popped my cherry. Ugh!

Brynn R. said...

I have always lovingly referred to this as the dildo-cam. When you have fertility issues for years on end, this is the weapon of choice to see what is going on. I am currently 8 weeks pregnant and going to get the cam up my who-ha again. Though, I have never had to insert it myself......

lovetoread600 said...

had the endometrial biopsy. you're right, the wand is nothing compared to the biopsy!!!

lucyinthesky said...

I am an ultrasound tech and its sooo funny to hear what people actually say about the transvaginal ultrasound. It's no picnic on our end either. I've seen 5 kinds of crotch rot, not to mention the smells! The lack of hygiene.. Oh I can't even go there! But when I confirm a pregnancy of someone who is desperately trying to concieve or find the ruptured ectopic that goes immediately to surgery, it makes a few unpleasantries here and there worth it. :0) by the way, I am so stealing the "Bob Barker!" Hilarious!!

Anonymous said...

I had a partial hysterectomy for endometriosis and now I get the wand every single year as part of my annual exam... Though I've never been asked to insert it myself. I was told that it is smaller than the 2-3 fingers the ob uses during the exam, which totally grossed me out.

Anonymous said...

Congrats! I also dealt with it during years on infertility, I'm happy you had a positive outcome. :)

Lori D said...

As my struggle with infertility has increased, I have become intimately involved with the ultrasound wand. My husband lovingly refers to it as my dildo. At first it was weird, but after a week of 4 trans-vaginal ultrasounds to see if my folicles have gotten big enough for my husband and I to engage in the most romantic of procedures to make a baby (insemination) it seems to not be a big deal any more.

Lisa C said...

HA!Light saber! I wish I would have thought of that when it was shoved up my hoo hah.

Sherri said...

OMG, yes! I have had three of those things! The technician actually told me one time that she had an older lady and she said "Ummmmm, I don't think that's the right place." I have been "lucky" in the fact that it hasn't happened to me....BUT I've never had to put it in, myself. That would just make it worse. Thanks for sharing all your funny experiences with us. You make me laugh so hard!!

Donna B said...

I'm an American over in Germany and these ultrasounds occur at almost every visit. I honestly don't see that they are a very big deal. I've suffered fertility problems and had a high risk pregnancy, so they were just part of the package. Now, I have gained a respect for the privacy in the US. Over here, you are asked to take off everything but your top, and then walk into the exam room bare-assed and hop up on the table. No paper or cloth sheet to cover, nurses just walk in and out, and the doctor won't warn you when she intentionally is going to stick a finger in the "wrong" hole. Oh, and labor and delivery has the same lack of privacy.

Jennifer Hansen said...

I hated the hysterosalpingogram, which I had to have two weeks after the trans-vaginal ultrasound. Neither was pleasant but the side effects (cramping, soreness and I did react to the dye)of the hysterosalpingogram were much worse.

Mel said...

I guess I don't see the big deal. My OB/GYN has done a transvaginal ultrasound at every single one of my visits, so I honestly thought it was just a regular part of the exam. And I've never had to put it in myself, that seems even weirder than just having the doc do it. Oh, and my doc is a man (doesn't bother me), so I guess what creeps some people out is just normal to others

Dee said...

Ditto here. First ever ultrasound was with this device looking for huge ovarian cyst (teratoma)...and then to make it worse add the dang glove waving at you. LOL

Kelli at I Would So Rather Be Reading said...

I had one of those to confirm my pregnancy.. The tech said, "you're not far enough along for the regular ultrasound. I'm going to have to use the probe." My reply: "ma'am, I've already been probed. That's how I ended up in this predicament."

SASsy said...

I had one of these done about 7 1/2 years ago. It was the first time I had heard or seen one. I had it done to check for ovarian cysts (I think). I just remember laughing hysterically when the ultrasound tech could see what she wanted with the regular ultrasound and told me "We have to go internal". I think she thought I was on something. She did not find it amusing.

Anonymous said...

LMAO!

BNM said...

I had to do one of those my first pregnancy but i was never told to do it myself.. WOW

Anonymous said...

i normally only get the transvaginal ultrasound (lucky me. not!). i cant even tell you the last time i had a normal ultrasound. it was probably when my daughter was 8 months in me waiting to pop out, my intial transvaginal, i was all use to the girl doing it herself. then i got a new tech. and they all told me to start shoving it in myself. most awkward postition ever! your laying down, may have a preggo gut or post preggo gut and trying to bend in a sit up position to shove a yard stick sized object up there is not an easy task. i've had soo many i'm use to it. (6 pregnancy losses - at least 10 ultrasounds each pregnancy.).

Amy said...

I had one of these with my first child to confirm the pregnancy and I thought it was WAY more comfortable than the "OMFG I HAVE TO PEE NOW" full bladder type of ultrasound. The tech I had was very gentle and considerate of my lady bits so it was really no big deal. If I were given the option of choosing one or the other for a diagnostic procedure, I'd definitely choose the transvaginal over the "full bladder" option.

Anonymous said...

Had to have this done and after thirty minutes of horrible discomfort and the tech hmmming and clicking he asked "how do you feel?" Seriously?! So I decided to be honest and replied, "violated, you owe me a dinner".

Anonymous said...

Had so many of these while battling infertility. I saw many nurses in the clinic for counseling on when to take the meds, etc. but it was always the same one doing the trans vag. I guess she lost some kind of bet? NEVER got used to it. Always felt violated and humilated and didn't even get a baby at the end of it all.

Anonymous said...

I had one done years ago to check for a cyst. The doctor rather than the tech did the exam and put the wand condom on inside out..which of course caused major problems rolling it down. Don't they teach condoms in med school?

Rose said...

I have had quite a few of these as well and I much prefer it to a full bladder and a transabdominal US. I have had both, insert yourself, and inserted for me options. And as for size, much better than a speculum. I apparently have a rather small hoohoo, and my Dr has to go hunting for a small speculum every time I have a Pap test. Maybe there are a lot of really bad sonographers out there?

Mexmom said...

At least with my normal OB in Mexico this is part of a routine exam, so I have had a few of these, but it is always weird no matter how many times you have done it.
I do have a woman doctor but sometimes I think is even weirder this way.

Anonymous said...

My husband was with me at an appointment to check a pregnancy and made so many jokes about The Wand that the doctor made him leave the room. He was making me laugh so much that my uterus and ovaries were "jumping around" and the doctor couldn't get a clear picture!

Anonymous said...

Thanks girls, for all of your hilarious comments. I needed a laugh about this procedure that I have endured a few times now. The most recent made me a little irritated at the tech. She was standing next to me, flipped up the paper drape with one hand and I thought to myself, what's the point if you are going to practically take it off? She was holding the wand in the other hand, dripping with goo, switched hands while she was manoeuvering between my knees and got goo all over me. It was the sloppiest one I've ever experienced.
Anyway... Thanks for the laughs!!!

Ivy said...

I had to read this post one more time as I am headed to my date with Don Wand as well. And then had the thought that maybe, just maybe, I should relax and enjoy it since its the most action I get every 3-6 months since possibly 2006:) Thanks for the laughs!!

dawsonfarms921 said...

I also was shocked upon a visit to the ER while pregnant to be told "we will use the wand" for this procedure. It was QUITE shocking to see the tech holding what may as well have been a pole vault rod....woah!! My eyes must have done the talking for my muted mouth. She piped up with "oh, hunny, its ok. We only insert the tip. LIAR! I think she was trying to check my lungs! And i was not asked to insert the probe either. I think im glad i wasnt.....

mugschatz said...

When I mentioned this unfamiliar procedure to another nurse pal, she said, "Oh, you mean Mr. Ed!" I got used to having these fairly frequently to check the sizes of ovarian follicles so they could tell me when to do the shot to release the eggs... what a drag... then as soon as I was a week late and finally got a positive home pregnancy test (without chemical intervention, thankyouverymuch), my fertility doc did one more to confirm my one viable embryo (yay!) After the really uncomfortable Hysterosalpingogram and 45-minute excruciating endometrial biopsy (my wonderful fertility specialist stopped and arranged to do my second one under general anesthesia as soon as I flinched; God bless her), Mr. Ed was the least of my worries.

gaylechoo said...

Ahhh, the dildo-cam, one of the myriad unpleasant indignities of infertility treatment. After 3 medicated cycles, 3 IUIs, & 5 IVFs, resulting in innumerable encounters with said dildo-cam, I once joked with my husband that, in order to please me sexually, he was going to have to try a LOT harder! Lol!

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Amie said...

Am I one of the few that thinks the Trans Vag probe is no big deal? I have had one several times, and compared to an HSG, it is nothin'!

Carole said...

He's a medical professional. Trust me he's not getting his rocks off doing an internal ultrasound on you. You are just one of a dozen women he's seen that day. And who's to say a woman wouldn't be just as aroused doing it to another woman? Lesbian much?

Ann Edelberg said...

The test itself never bothered me. I've had several. Once when 8 months pregnant and they wanted me to put my new "boyfriend" inside of myself..HELLO I can barely reach down to wipe myself at that point, how do you want me to put that thing inside of me. The women did it for me (she was nice about it, knowing how preggers I was at that point).
What was most concerning was the condom that did not fit my new "boyfriend". Talk about a pencil penis!

Steph said...

What's even worse is when the state mandates this for no good reason. Guess we should be thankful the politicians aren't actually in the room when they're inserting it.

P Thomas said...

Ah yes. Part of my job requires knowing whether patients have actually consented for this procedure. In the UK, it is possible to withhold consent for it - and some women do. I don't blame them, but it still looks thinner than the average dildo or human equivalent.